limbedsetofladsnever\"diddance\"uponthedeckofthefamed\"BellePoule\"inthedaysofhermemorablecombatwiththe\"SaucyArethusa。\"\"Thesefivehundredsailors，\"saysaFrenchnewspaper，speakingofthemintheproperFrenchway，\"swordinhand，intheseverecostumeofboard—ship（laseveretenuedubord），seemedproudofthemissionthattheyhadjustaccomplished。Theirbluejackets，theirredcravats，theturned—downcollarsofblueshirtsedgedwithwhite，ABOVEALLtheirresoluteappearanceandmartialair，gaveafavorablespecimenofthepresentstateofourmarine——amarineofwhichsomuchmightbeexpectedandfromwhichsolittlehasbeenrequired。\"——LeCommerce:16thDecember。
Theretheywere，sureenough;acutlassupononehip，apistolontheother——agallantsetofyoungmenindeed。Idoubt，tobesure，whethertheseveretenuedubordrequiresthattheseamanshouldbealwaysfurnishedwiththoseferociousweapons，whichinsundrymaritimemanoeuvers，suchasgoingtosleepinyourhammockforinstance，ortwinklingabinnacle，orluffingamarlinspike，orkeelhaulingamaintopgallant（allnavaloperations，mydear，whichanyseafaringnovelistwillexplaintoyou）——Idoubt，Isay，whethertheseweaponsareALWAYSwornbysailors，andhaveheardthattheyarecommonlyandverysensiblytoo，lockedupuntiltheyarewanted。
Takeanotherexample:supposeartillerymenwereincessantlycompelledtowalkaboutwithapyramidoftwenty—fourpoundshotinonepocket，alightedfuseandafewbarrelsofgunpowderintheother——theseobjectswould，asyoumayimagine，greatlyinconveniencetheartillerymaninhispeacefulstate。
Thenewspaperwriteristhereforemostlikelymistakeninsayingthattheseamenwereintheseveretenuedubord，orby\"bord\"
meaning\"abordage\"——whichoperationtheywerenot，inaharmlesschurch，hungroundwithvelvetandwax—candles，andfilledwithladies，surelycalledupontoperform。NorindeedcanitbereasonablysupposedthatthepickedmenofthecrackfrigateoftheFrenchnavyarea\"goodspecimen\"oftherestoftheFrenchmarine，anymorethanacuirassedcolossusatthegateoftheHorseGuardscanbeconsideredafairsampleoftheBritishsoldieroftheline。
Theswordandpistol，however，hadnodoubttheireffect——theformerwasinitssheath，thelatternotloaded，andIhearthattheFrenchladiesarequiteinraptureswiththesecharmingloups—de—mer。
Letthewarlikeaccoutrementsthenpass。Itwasnecessary，perhaps，tostriketheParisianswithawe，andthereforethecrewwasarmedinthisfiercefashion;butwhyshouldthecaptainbegintoswaggeraswellashismen？andwhydidthePrincedeJoinvillelugoutswordandpistolsoearly？orwhy，ifhethoughtfittomakepreparations，shouldtheofficialjournalsbragofthemafterwardsasproofsofhisextraordinarycourage？
Hereisthecase。TheEnglishGovernmentmakeshimapresentofthebonesofNapoleon:Englishworkmenworkforninehourswithoutceasing，anddigthecoffinoutoftheground:theEnglishCommissionerhandsoverthekeyoftheboxtotheFrenchrepresentative，MonsieurChabot:Englishhorsescarrythefuneralcardowntothesea—shore，accompaniedbytheEnglishGovernor，whohasactuallylefthisbedtowalkintheprocessionandtodotheFrenchnationhonor。
Afterreceivingandacknowledgingthesepolitenesses，theFrenchcaptaintakeshischargeonboard，andthefirstthingweafterwardshearofhimisthedetermination\"qu\'ilasufairepasser\"intoallhiscrew，tosinkratherthanyieldupthebodyoftheEmperorauxmainsdel\'etranger——intothehandsoftheforeigner。MydearMonseigneur，isnotthispartropfort？Suppose\"theforeigner\"hadwantedthecoffin，couldhenothavekeptit？Whyshowthisuncalled—forvalor，thisextraordinaryalacrityatsinking？Sinkorblowyourselfupasmuchasyouplease，butyourRoyalHighnessmustseethatthegenteelthingwouldhavebeentowaituntilyouwereaskedtodoso，beforeyouoffendedgood—natured，honestpeople，who——heavenhelpthem！——havenevershownthemselvesatallmurderouslyinclinedtowardsyou。Amanknocksuphiscabinsforsooth，throwshistablesandchairsoverboard，runsgunsintotheportholes，andcallslequartierdubordouexistaientceschambres，Lacedaemon。Lacedaemon！Thereisaprovince，OPrince，inyourroyalfather\'sdominions，afruitfulparentofheroesinitstime，whichwouldhavegivenamuchbetternicknametoyourquartierdubord:youshouldhavecalleditGascony。
\"Soonerthanstrikewe\'llallex—pi—erOnboardoftheBell—ePou—le。\"
SuchfanfaronadingisverywellonthepartofTomDibdin，butapersonofyourRoyalHighness\'s\"piousandseveredignity\"shouldhavebeenaboveit。Ifyouentertainedanideathatwarwasimminent，woulditnothavebeenfarbettertohavemadeyourpreparationsinquiet，andwhenyoufoundthewarrumorblownover，tohavesaidnothingaboutwhatyouintendedtodo？FieuponsuchcheapLacedaemonianism！ThereisnopoltroonintheworldbutcanbragaboutwhatheWOULDhavedone:however，todoyourRoyalHighness\'snationjustice，theybragandfighttoo。
Thisnarrative，mydearMissSmith，asyouwillhaveremarked，isnotasimpletalemerely，butisaccompaniedbymanymoralandpithyremarkswhichformitschiefvalue，inthewriter\'seyesatleast，andtheaboveaccountoftheshamLacedaemononboardthe\"BellePoule\"hasadouble—barrelledmorality，asIconceive。BesidesjustlyreprehendingtheFrenchpropensitytowardsbraggadocio，itprovesverystronglyapointonwhichIamtheonlystatesmaninEuropewhohasstronglyinsisted。Inthe\"ParisSketchBook\"itwasstatedthatTHEFRENCHHATEUS。Theyhateus，mydear，profoundlyanddesperately，andthereneverwassuchahollowhumbugintheworldastheFrenchalliance。MengetacharacterforpatriotisminFrancemerelybyhatingEngland。Directlytheygointostrongopposition（where，youknow，peoplearealwaysmorepatrioticthanontheministerialside），theyappealtothepeople，andhavetheirholdonthepeoplebyhatingEnglandincommonwiththem。Why？Itisalongstory，andthehatredmaybeaccountedforbymanyreasonsbothpoliticalandsocial。Anytimetheseeighthundredyearsthisill—willhasbeengoingon，andhasbeentransmittedontheFrenchsidefromfathertoson。OntheFrenchside，notonours:wehavehadno，orfew，defeatstocomplainof，noinvasionstomakeusangry;butyouseethattodiscusssuchaperiodoftimewoulddemandaconsiderablenumberofpages，andforthepresentwewillavoidtheexaminationofthequestion。
Buttheyhateus，thatisthelongandshortofit;andyouseehowthishatredhasexplodedjustnow，notuponaseriouscauseofdifference，butuponanargument:forwhatisthePashaofEgypttousorthembutamereabstractopinion？ForthesamereasontheLittle—endiansinLilliputabhorredtheBig—endians;andIbegyoutoremarkhowhisRoyalHighnessPrinceFerdinandMary，uponhearingthatthisargumentwasinthecourseofdebatebetweenus，straightwayflunghisfurnitureoverboardandexpressedapreferenceforsinkinghisshipratherthanyieldingittotheetranger。
Nothingcameofthiswishofhis，tobesure;buttheintentioniseverything。Unluckycircumstancesdeniedhimthepower，buthehadthewill。
Well，beyondthisdisappointment，thePrincedeJoinvillehadnothingtocomplainofduringthevoyage，whichterminatedhappilybythearrivalofthe\"BellePoule\"atCherbourg，onthe30thofNovember，atfiveo\'clockinthemorning。AtelegraphmadethegladnewsknownatParis，wheretheMinisteroftheInterior，Tanneguy—
Duchatel（youwillreadthename，Madam，intheoldAnglo—Frenchwars），hadalreadymade\"immensepreparations\"forreceivingthebodyofNapoleon。
Theentrywasfixedforthe15thofDecember。
Onthe8thofDecemberatCherbourgthebodywastransferredfromthe\"BellePoule\"frigatetothe\"Normandie\"steamer。OnwhichoccasionthemayorofCherbourgdeposited，inthenameofhistown，agoldlaurelbranchuponthecoffin——whichwassalutedbythefortsanddykesoftheplacewithONETHOUSANDGUNS！Therewasatreatfortheinhabitants。
Therewasonboardthesteamerasplendidreceptacleforthecoffin:
\"atemplewithtwelvepillarsandadometocoveritfromthewetandmoisture，surroundedwithvelvethangingsandsilverfringes。
Attheheadwasagoldcross，atthefootagoldlamp:otherlampswerekeptconstantlyburningwithin，andvasesofburningincensewerehungaround。Analtar，hungwithvelvetandsilver，wasatthemizzen—mastofthevessel，ANDFOURSILVEREAGLESATEACHCORNEROF
THEALTAR。\"ItwasacomplimentatoncetoNapoleonand——excusemeforsayingso，butsothefactsare——toNapoleonandtoGodAlmighty。
Threesteamers，the\"Normandie，\"the\"Veloce，\"andthe\"Courrier，\"
formedtheexpeditionfromCherbourgtoHavre，atwhichplacetheyarrivedontheeveningofthe9thofDecember，andwherethe\"Veloce\"wasreplacedbytheSeinesteamer，havingintowoneofthestate—coasters，whichwastofirethesaluteatthemomentwhenthebodywastransferredintooneofthevesselsbelongingtotheSeine。