第7章
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  CAPT。G。(Slowly,fingeringcharger\'sheadstall。)Yourcurb\'stooloose。

  CAPT。M。Soitis。Putitstraight,willyou?(Aside。)Ishallbelateforparade。PoorGaddy。

  CAPT。G。linksandunlinkscurb-chainaimlessly,andfinallystandsstaringtowardtheveranda。Thedaybrightens。

  DOCTOR。(Knockedoutofprofessionalgravity,trampingacrossflower-bedsandshakingG\'shands。)It\'-it\'s-it\'s!-Gadsby,tbere\'safairchance-adashedfairchance。Theflicker,y\'know。Thesweat,y\'knowIsawhowitwouldbe。Thepunkab,y\'know。DeucedcleverwomanthatAyahofyours。Stoppedthepunkabjustattherighttime。Adashedgoodchance!No-youdon\'tgoin。We\'llpullherthroughyetIpromiseonmyreputation-underProvidence。

  SendamanwiththisnotetoBingle。Twoheadsbetterthanone。

  \'SpeciallytheAyah!We\'llpullherround。(Retreatshastilytohouse。)

  CAPT。G。(HisheadonneckofM。\'scharger。)Jack!Ibub-bu-

  believe,I\'mgoingtomakeabu-bub-bloodyexhibitiodofbyself。

  CAPT。M。(Sniffingopenlyandfeelmginhisleftcuff。)I

  b-b-believe,I\'bdoingitalready。Oldbad,whatcadIsay?I\'baspleasedas-Coddabyou,Gaddy!You\'reonebigidiotandI\'badother。(Pullinghimselftogether。)Sittight!HerecomestheDevil-dodger。

  JUNIORCHAPLAIN。(WhoisnotintheDoctor\'sconfidence。)

  We-weareonlymeninthesethings,Gadsby。IknowthatIcansaynothingnowtohelpCAPT。M。(fealously。)Thendon\'tsayitLeavehimalone。It\'snotbadenoughtocroakover。Here,Gaddy,takethechittoBingleandridehell-for-leather。It\'lldoyougood。Ican\'tgo。

  JUNIORCHAPLAIN。Dohimgood!(Smiling。)GivemethechitandI\'lldrive。Lethimliedown。Yourhorseisblockingmycart-please!

  CAPT。M。(Slowlywithoutreiningback。)Ibegyourpardon-I\'llapologize。Onpaperifyoulike。

  JUNIORCHAPLAIN。(FlickingM。\'scharger。)That\'lldo,thanks。

  Turnin,Gadsby,andI\'llbringBingleback-ahem-\"hell-for-

  leather。\"

  CAPT。M。(Solus。)Itwouldhaveservedmerightifhe\'dcutmeacrosstheface。Hecandrivetoo。Ishouldn\'tcaretogothatpaceinabamboocart。WhatafaithhemusthaveinhisMaker-ofharness!

  Comehup,youbrute!(Gallopsofftoparade,blowinghisnose,asthesunrises。)

  (INTERVALOF\'FIVEWEEKS。)

  MRS。G。(Verywhiteandpinched,inmorningwrapperatbreakfasttable。)Howbigandstrangetheroomlooks,andhowgladIamtoseeitagain!Whatdust,though!Imusttalktotheservants。

  Sugar,Pip?I\'vealmostforgotten。(Seriously。)Wasn\'tIveryill?

  CAPT。G。IllerthanIliked。(Tenderly。)Oh,youbadlittlePussy,whatastartyougaveme\'

  MRS。G。I\'llneverdoitagain。

  CAPT。G。You\'dbetternot。Andnowgetthosepoorpalecheekspinkagain,orIshallbeangry。Don\'ttrytolifttheurn。You\'llupsetit。Wait。(Comesroundtoheadoftableandliftsurn。)

  Mas。G。(Quickly。)Khitmatgar,howarchikhanaseekettlylao。

  Butler,getakettlefromthecook-house。(DrawingdownG。\'sfacetoherown。)Pipdear,Iremember。

  CAPT。G。What?

  Mas。G。Thatlastterriblenight。

  CAPT\'。G。Thenjustyouforgetallaboutit。

  Mas。G。(Softly,hereyesfilling。)Never。Ithasbroughtusveryclosetogether,myhusband。There!(Interlude。)I\'mgoingtogiveJundaasaree。

  CAPT。G。Igaveherfiftydibs。

  Mas。G。Soshetoldme。Itwasa\'normousreward。WasIworthit?(Severalinterludes。)Don\'t!Here\'sthekhitmatgar-TwolumpsoroneSir?

  THESWELLINGOFJORDAN

  Ifthouhastrunwiththefootmenandtheyhaveweariedthee,thenhowcanstthoucontendwithhorses?Andifinthelandofpeacewhereinthoutrustedsttheyweariedthee,thenhowwiltthoudointheswellingofJordan?

  SCENE-TheGADSBYS\'bungalowinthePlains,onaJanuarymorning。Mas。G。arguingwithbearerinbackveranda。

  CAPT。M。ridesup。

  CAPT。M。\'Mornin\',Mrs。Gadsby。How\'stheInfantPhenomenonandtheProudProprietor?

  Mas。G。You\'llfindtheminthefrontveranda;gothroughthehouse。I\'mMarthajustnow。

  CAPT。M,\'CumberedaboutwithcaresofKhitmatgars?Ifly。

  Passesintofrontveranda,whereGADSBViswatchingGADSBY

  JUNIOR,agedtenmonths,crawlingaboutthematting。

  CAPT。M。What\'sthetrouble,Gaddy-spoilinganhonestman\'sEuropemorningthisway?(SeeingG。JUNIOR。)ByJove,thatyearling\'scomm\'onamaxingly!Anyamountofbonebelowthekneethere。

  CAPT。G。Yes,he\'sahealthylittlescoundrel。Don\'tyouthinkhishair\'sgrowing?

  CAPT。M。Let\'shavealook。Hi!HstComehere,GeneralLuck,andwe\'llreportonyou。

  MRS。G。(Within。)Whatabsurdnamewillyougivehimnext?

  Whydoyoucallhimthat?

  CAPT。M。Isn\'theourInspector-GeneralofCavalry?Doesn\'thecomedowninhisseventeen-twoperambulatoreverymorningthePinkHussarsparade?Don\'twriggle,Brigadier。Giveusyourprivateopiniononthewaythethirdsquadronwentpast。\'Trifleragged,werentthey?

  CAPT。G。AbiggersetoftailorsthanthenewdraftIdon\'twishtosee。They\'vegivenmemorethanmyfairshare-knockingthesquadronoutofshape。It\'ssickening!

  CAPT。M。Whenyou\'reincommand,you\'lldobetter,young\'un。

  Can\'tyouwalkyet?Gripmyfingerandtry。(ToG。)\'Twon\'thurthishocks,willit?

  CAPT。G。Oh,no。Don\'tlethimflop,though,orhe\'lllickalltheblackingoffyourboots。

  MRS。G。(Within。)Who\'sdestroymgmyson\'scharacter?

  CAPT。M。AndmyGodson\'s。I\'mashamedofyou,Gaddy。Punchyourfatherintheeye,Jack!Don\'tyoustandit!HithimagainI

  CAPT。G。(Sottovoce。)PutTheButchadownandcometotheendoftheveranda。I\'drathertheWifedidn\'thear-justnow。

  CAPT。M。Youlookawf\'lyserious。Anythingwrong?

  CAPT。G。\'Dependsonyourviewentirely。Isay,Jack,youwon\'tthinkmorehardlyofmethanyoucanhelp,willyou?Comefurtherthisway-Thefactofthematteris,thatI\'vemadeupmymind-atleastI\'mthinkingseriouslyof-cuttingtheService。

  CAPT。M。Hwhatt?

  CAPT。G。Don\'tshout。I\'mgoingtosendinmypapers。

  CAPT。M。You!Areyoumad?

  CAPT。G。No-onlymarried。

  CAPT。M。Lookhere!What\'sthemeaningofitall?Youneverintendtoleaveus。Youcan\'t。Isn\'tthebestsquadronofthebestregimentofthebestcavalryinalltheworldgoodenoughforyou?

  CAPT。G。(Jerkinghisheadoverhisshoulder。)Shedoesn\'tseemtothriveinthisGod-forsakencountry,andthere\'sTheButchatobeconsideredandallthat,youknow。

  CAPT。M。Doesshesaythatshedoesn\'tlikeIndia?

  CAPT。G。That\'stheworstofit。Shewon\'tforfearofleavingme。

  CAPT。M。WhataretheHillsmadefor?

  CAPT。G。Notformywife,atanyrate。

  CAPT。M。Youknowtoomuch,Gaddy,and-Idon\'tlikeyouanythebetterforit!

  CAPT。G。Nevermindthat。ShewantsEngland,andTheButchawouldbeallthebetterforit。I\'mgoingtochuck。Youdon\'tunderstand。

  CAPT。M。(Hotly。)IunderstandthisOnehundredandthirty-sevennewhorsetobelickedintoshapesomehowbeforeLuckcomesroundagain;ahairy-heeleddraftwho\'llgivemoretroublethanthehorses;acampnextcoldweatherforacertainty;

  ourselvesthefirstontheroster;theRussianshindyreadytocometoaheadatfiveminutes\'notice,andyou,thebestofusall,backingoutofitall!Thinkalittle,Gaddy。Youwon\'tdoit。

  CAPT。G。Hangit,amanhassomedutiestowardhisfamily,I

  suppose。

  CAPT。M。Irememberaman,though,whotoldme,thenightafterAmdheran,whenwewerepicketedunderJagai,andhe\'dlefthissword-bytheway,didyoueverpayRankenforthatsword?-inanUtmanzai\'shead-thatmantoldmethathe\'dstickbymeandthePinksaslongashelived。Idon\'tblamehimfornotstickingbyme-I\'mnotmuchofaman-butIdoblamehimfornotstickingbythePinkHussars。

  CAPT。G。(Uneasily。)Wewerelittlemorethanboysthen。Can\'tyousee,Jack,howthingsstand?\'Tisn\'tasifwewereservingforourbread。We\'veallofus,moreorless,gotthefilthylucre。I\'mluckierthansome,perhaps。There\'snocallformetoserveon。

  CAPT。M。Noneintheworldforyouorforus,excepttheRegimental。Ifyoudon\'tchoosetoanswertothat,ofcourse-

  CAPT。G。Don\'tbetoohardonaman。YouknowthatalotofusonlytakeupthethingforafewyearsandthengobacktoTownandcatchonwiththerest。

  CAPT。M。Notlots,andtheyaren\'tsomeofUs。

  CAPT。G。Andthenthereareone\'saffairsatHometobeconsidered-myplaceandtherents,andallthat。Idon\'tsupposemyfathercanlastmuchlonger,andthatmeansthetitle,andsoon。

  CAPT。M。\'Fraidyouwon\'tbeenteredintheStudBookcorrectlyunlessyougoHome?Takesixmonths,then,andcomeoutinOctober。IfIcouldslayoffabrotherortwo,Is\'poseIshouldbeaMarquisofsorts。Anyfoolcanbethat;butitneedsmen,Gaddy-

  menlikeyou-toleadflankingsquadronsproperly。Don\'tyoudeludeyourselfintothebeliefthatyou\'regoingHometotakeyourplaceandpranceaboutamongpink-nosedKabulidowagers。Youaren\'tbuiltthatway。Iknowbetter。

  CAPT。G。Amanhasarighttolivehislifeashappilyashecan。

  Youaren\'tmarried。

  CAPT。M。No-praisebetoProvidenceandtheoneortwowomenwhohavehadthegoodsensetojawabme。

  CAPT。G。Thenyoudon\'tknowwhatitistogointoyourownroomandseeyourwife\'sheadonthepillow,andwheneverythingelseissafeandthehouseshutupforthenight,towonderwhethertheroof-beamswon\'tgiveandkillher。

  CAPT。M。(Aside。)Revelationsfirstandsecond!(Aloud。)So-o!

  IknewamanwhogotsquiffyatourMessonceandconfidedtomethatheneverhelpedhiswifeontoherhorsewithoutpraymgthatshe\'dbreakherneckbeforeshecameback。Allhusbandsaren\'talike,yousee。

  CAPT。G。Whatonearthhasthattodowithmycase?Themanmustha\'beenmad,orhiswifeasbadastheymake\'em。

  CAPT。M。(Aside。)\'Nofaultofyoursifeitherweren\'tallyousay。

  You\'veforgottenthetimewhenyouwereinsaneabouttheHerriottwoman。Youalwayswereagoodhandatforgetting。(Aloud。)Notmoremadthanmenwhogototheotherextreme。Bereasonable,Gaddy。Yourroof-beamsaresoundenough。

  CAPT。G。Thatwasonlyawayofspeaking。I\'vebeenuneasyandworriedabouttheWifeeversincethatawfulbusinessthreeyearsago-when-Inearlylosther。Canyouwonder?

  CAPT。M。Oh,ashellneverfallstwiceinthesameplace。You\'vepaidyourtolltomisfortune-whyshouldyourWifebepickedoutmorethananybodyelse\'s?

  CAPT。G。Icantalkjustasreasonablyasyoucan,butyoudon\'tunderstand-youdon\'tunderstand。Andthenthere\'sTheButcha。

  DeuceknowswheretheAyahtakeshimtositintheevening!Hehasabitofacough。Haven\'tyounoticedit?

  CAPT。M。Bosh!TheBrigadier\'sjumpingoutofhisskinwithpurecondition。He\'sgotamuzzlelikearose-leafandthechestofatwo-year-old。What\'sdemoralizedyou?

  CAPT。G。Funk。That\'sthelongandtheshortofit。Funk!

  CAPT。M。Butwhatistheretofunk?

  CAPT。G。Everything。It\'sghastly。

  CAPT。M。Ah!Isee。

  Youdon\'twanttofight,AndbyJingowhenwedo,You\'vegotthekid,you\'vegottheWife,You\'vegotthemoney,too。

  That\'saboutthecase,eh?

  CAPT。G。Isupposethat\'sit。Butit\'snotbrmyself。It\'sbecauseofthem。AtleastIthinkitis。

  CAPT。M。Areyousure?Lookingatthematterinacold-bloodedlight,theWifeisprovidedforevenifyouwerewipedouttonight。

  Shehasanancestralhometogoto,moneyandtheBrigadiertocarryontheillustriousname。

  CAPT。G。Thenitisformyselforbecausetheyarepartofme。Youdon\'tseeit。Mylife\'ssogood,sopleasant,asitis,thatIwanttomakeitquitesafe。Can\'tyouunderstand?

  CAPT。M。Perfectly。\"Shelter-pitfortheOff\'cer\'scharger,\"astheysayintheLine。

  CAPT。G。AndIhaveeverythingtomyhandtomakeitso。I\'msickofthestrainandtheworryfortheirsakesouthere;andthereisn\'tasinglerealdifficultytopreventmydroppingitaltogether。

  It\'llonlycostme-Jack,Ihopeyou\'llneverknowtheshamethatI\'vebeengoingthroughforthepastsixmonths。

  CAPT。M。Holdonthere!Idon\'twishtohetold。Everymanhashismoodsandtensessometimes。

  CAPT。G。(Laughingbrtterly。)Hashe?Whatdoyoucallcraningovertoseewhereyournear-forelands?

  CAPT。M。InmycaseitmeansthatIhavebeenontheConsiderableBend,andhavecometoparadewithaHeadandaHand。Itpassesinthreestrides。

  CAPT。G。(Loweringvoice。)Itneverpassesw\'thme,Jack。I\'malwaysthinkingaboutit。PhilGadsbyfunkingafallonparade!

  Sweetpicture,isn\'tit!Drawitforme。

  CAPT。M。(Gravely。)Heavenforbid!Amanlikeyoucan\'tbeasbadasthat。Afallisnonicething,butonenevergivesitathought。

  CAPT。G。Doesn\'tone?Waittillyou\'vegotawifeandayoungsterofyourown,andthenyou\'llknowhowtheroarofthesquadronbehindyouturnsyoucoldalluptheback。

  CAPT。M。(Aside。)AndthismanledatAmdheranafterBagalDeasinwentunder,andwewereallmixeduptogether,andhecameoutofthesnowdrippinglikeabutcher。(Aloud。)Skittles!

  Themencanalwaysopenout,andyoucanalwayspickyourwaymoreorless。Wehaven\'tthedusttobotherus,asthemenhave,andwhoeverheardofahorsesteppingonaman?

  CAPT。G。Never-aslongashecansee。ButdidtheyopenoutforpoorErrington?

  CAPT。M。Oh,thisischildish!

  CAPT。G。Iknowitis,worsethanthat。Idon\'tcare。You\'veriddenVanLoo。Ishethesortofbrutetopickhisway-\'speciallywhenwe\'recomingupincolumnoftroopwithanypaceon?

  CAPT。M。OnceinaBlueMoondowegallopincolumnoftroop,andthenonlytosavetime。Aren\'tthreelengthsenoughforyou?

  CAPT。G。Yes-quiteenough。Theyjustallowforthefulldevelopmentofthesmash。I\'mtalkinglikeacur,Iknow:butItellyouthat,forthepastthreemonths,I\'vefelteveryhoofofthesquadroninthesmallofmybackeverytimethatI\'veled。

  CAPT。M。But,Gaddy,thisisawful!

  CAPT。G。Isn\'titlovely?Isn\'titroyal?ACaptainofthePinkHussarswateringuphischargerbeforeparadeliketheblastedboozingColonelofaBlackRegiment!

  CAPT。M。Youneverdid!

  CAPT。G。OnceOnly。Hesquelchedlikeamussuck,andtheTroop-Sergeant-Majorcockedhiseyeatme。YouknowoldHaffy\'seye。Iwasafraidtodoitagain。

  CAPT。M。Ishouldthinkso。ThatwasthebestwaytoruptureoldVanLoo\'stummy,andmakehimcrumpleyouup。Youknewthat。

  CAPT。G。Ididn\'tcare。Ittooktheedgeoffhim。

  CAPT。M。\"Tooktheedgeoffhim\"?Gaddy,you-you-youmustn\'t,youknow!Thinkofthemen。

  CAPT。G。That\'sanotherthingIamafraidof。D\'yous\'posetheyknow?

  CAPT。M。Let\'shopenot;butthey\'redeadlyquicktospotskirm-littlethingsofthatkind。Seehere,oldman,sendtheWifeHomeforthehotweatherandcometoKashmirwithme。We\'llstartaboatontheDalorcrosstheRhotang-shootibexorloaf-

  whichyouplease。Onlycome!You\'reabitoffyouroatsandyou\'retalkingnonsense。LookattheColonel-swag-belliedrascalthatheis。Hehasawifeandnoendofabow-windowofhisown。Cananyoneofusrideroundhim-chalkstonesandall?Ican\'t,andIthinkI

  canshoveacrockalongabit。

  CAPT。G。Somemenaredifferent。Ihaven\'tanynerve。Lordhelpme,Ihaven\'tthenerve!I\'vetakenupaholeandahalftogetmykneeswellunderthewallets。Ican\'thelpit。I\'msoafraidofanythinghappeningtome。Onmysoul,Ioughttobebrokeinfrontofthesquadron,forcowardice。

  CAPT。M。Uglyword,that。Ishouldneverhavethecouragetoownup。

  CAPT。G。ImeanttolieaboutmyreasonswhenIbegan,but-I\'vegotoutofthehabitoflyingtoyou,oldman。Jack,youwon\'t?-ButIknowyouwon\'t。

  CAPT。M。Ofcoursenot。(Halfaloud。)ThePinksarepayingdearlyfortheirPride。

  CAPT。G。Eb!What-at?

  CAPT。M。Don\'tyouknow?ThemenhavecalledMrs。GadsbythePrideofthePinkHussarseversinceshecametous。

  CAPT。G。\'Tisn\'therfault。Don\'tthinkthat。It\'sallmine。

  CAPT。M。Whatdoesshesay?

  CAPT。G。Ihaven\'texactlyputitbeforeher。She\'sthebestlittlewomanintheworld,Jack,andallthat-butshewouldn\'tcounselamantosticktohiscallingifitcamebetweenhimandher。Atleast,Ithink-

  CAPT。M。Nevermind。Don\'ttellherwhatyoutoldme。GoonthePeerageandLanded-Gentrytack。

  CAPT。G。She\'dseethroughit。She\'sfivetimesclevererthanIam。

  CAPT。M。(Aside。)Thenshe\'llacceptthesacrificeandthinkalittlebitworseofhimfortherestofherdays。

  CAPT。G。(Absentl\'y。)Isay,doyoudespiseme?

  CAPT。M。\'Queerwayofputtingit。Haveyoueverbeenaskedthatquestion?Thinkaminute。Whatanswerusedyoutogive?

  CAPT。G。Sobadasthat?I\'mnotentitledtoexpectanythingmore,butit\'sabithardwhenone\'sbestfriendturnsroundand-

  CAPT。M。So!havefoundButyouwillhaveconsolations-BailiffsandDrainsandLiquidManureandthePrimroseLeague,and,perhaps,ifyou\'relucky,theColonelcyofaYeomanryCav-al-ryRegiment-alluniformandnoriding,Ibelieve。Howoldareyou?

  CAPT。G。Thirty-three。Iknowit\'s-

  CAPT。M。Atfortyyou\'llbeafoolofaJ。P。landlord。Atfiftyyou\'llownabath-chair,andTheBrigadier,ifhetakesafteryou,willbeflutteringthedovecotesof-what\'stheparticulardunghillyou\'regoingto?Also,Mrs。Gadsbywillbefat。

  CAPT。G。(Limply。)Thisisrathermorethanajoke。

  CAPT。M。D\'youthinkso?Isn\'tcuttingtheServiceajoke?Itgenerallytakesamanfiftyyearstoarriveatit。You\'requiteright,though。Itismorethanajoke。You\'vemanageditinthirty-three。

  CAPT。G。Don\'tmakemefeelworsethanIdo。WillitsatisfyyouifIownthatIamashirker,askrim-shanker,andacoward?

  CAPT。M。Itwil!not,becauseI\'mtheonlymanintheworldwhocantalktoyoulikethiswithoutbeingknockeddown。Youmustn\'ttakeallthatI\'vesaidtoheartinthisway。Ionlyspoke-alotofitatleast-outofpureselfishness,because,because-Oh,damnitall,oldman,-Idon\'tknowwhatIshalldowithoutyou。Ofcourse,you\'vegotthemoneyandtheplaceandallthat-andtherearetwoverygoodreasonswhyyoushouldtakecareofyourself。

  CAPT。G。\'Doesn\'tmakeitanysweeter。I\'mbackingout-IknowI

  am。Ialwayshadasoftdropinmesomewhere-andIdaren\'triskanydangertothem。

  CAPT。M。Whyintheworldshouldyou?You\'reboundtothinkofyourfamily-boundtothink。Er-hmm。IfIwasn\'tayoungersonI\'dgotoo-beshotifIwouldn\'tI!

  CAPT。G。Thankyou,Jack。It\'sakindlie,butit\'stheblackestyou\'vetoldforsometime。IknowwhatI\'mdoing,andI\'mgoingintoitwithmyeyesopen。Oldman,Ican\'thelpit。Whatwouldyoudoifyouwereinmyplace?

  CAPT。M。(Aside。)\'Couldn\'tconceiveanywomangettingpermanentlybetweenmeandtheRegiment。(Aloud。)\'Can\'tsay。

  \'VerylikelyIshoulddonobetter。I\'msorryforyou-awf\'lysorry-but\"ifthem\'syoursentiments,\"Ibelieve,Ireallydo,thatyouareactingwisely。

  CAPT。G。Doyou?Ihopeyoudo。(Inawhisper。)Jack,beverysureofyourselfbeforeyoumarry。I\'manungratefulruffiantosaythis,butmarriage-evenasgoodamarriageasminehasbeen-

  hampersaman\'swork,itcrippleshissword-arm,andoh,itplaysHellwithhisnotionsofduty。Sometimes-goodandsweetassheis-sometimesIcouldwishthatIhadkeptmyfreedom-No,Idon\'tmeanthatexactly。

  MRS。G。(Comingdownveranda。)Whatareyouwaggingyourheadove;Pip?

  CAPT。M。(Turningquickly。)Me,asusual。Theoldsermon。Yourhusbandisrecommendingmetogetmarried。\'Neversawsuchaone-ideaedman。

  MRS。G。Well,whydon\'tyou?Idaresayyouwouldmakesomewomanveryhappy。

  CAPT。G。There\'stheLawandtheProphets,Jack。NevermindtheRegiment。Makeawomanhappy。(Aside。)OLord!

  CAPT。M。We\'llsee。ImustbeofftomakeaTroopCookdesperatelyunhappy。Iwon\'thavethewilyHussarfedonGovernmentBullockTrainshinbones-(Hastily。)Surelyblackantscan\'tbegoodforTheBrigadier。He\'spickingemoffthemattingandeating\'em。Here,SenorComandanteDonGrubbynuse,comeandtalktome。(LiftsG。JUNIORinhisarms。)\'Wantmywatch?

  Youwon\'tbeabletoputitintoyourmouth,butyoucantry。(G。

  JUNIORdropswatch,breakingdialandhands。)

  MRS。G。Oh,CaptainMafflin,Iamsosorry!Jack,youbad,badlittlevillain。Ahhh!

  CAPT。M。It\'snottheleastconsequence,Iassureyou。He\'dtreattheworldinthesamewayifhecouldgetitintohishands。

  Everything\'smadetobeplayed,withandbroken,isn\'tit,young\'un?

  ******

  MRS。G。Mafflindidn\'tatalllikehiswatchbeingbroken,thoughhewastoopolitetosayso。Itwasentirelyhisfaultforgivingittothechild。Demlittlepudsarewerry,werryfeeble,aren\'tdey,byJack-in-de-box?(ToG。)Whatdidhewanttoseeyoufor?

  CAPT。G。Regimentalshopasusual。

  MRS。G。TheRegiment!AlwaystheRegiment。Onmyword,I

  sometimesfeeljealousofMafflin。

  CAPT。G。(Wearily。)PooroldJack?Idon\'tthinkyouneed。Isn\'tittimeforTheButchatohavehisnap?Bringachairouthere,dear。

  I\'vegotsomethingtotalkoverwithyou。

  ANDTHISISTHEENDOFTHESTORYOFTHEGADSBYS

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