THEWORLDWITHOUT
Certainpeopleofimportance。
SCENE-Smoking-roomoftheDegchiClub。Time,10。30P。M。ofastuffynightintheRains。Fourmendispersedinpicturesqueattitudesandeasy-chairs。TotheseenterBLAYNEoftheIrregularMoguls,ineveningdress。
BLAYNE。Phew!TheJudgeoughttobehangedinhisownstore-godown。Hi,khitmatgarlPoorawhiskey-peg,totakethetasteoutofmymouth。
CURTISS。(RoyalArtillery。)That\'sit,isit?WhatthedeucemadeyoudineattheJudge\'s?Youknowhisbandobust。
BLAYNE。\'Thoughtitcouldn\'tbeworsethantheClub,butI\'llswearhebuysullagedliquoranddoctorsitwithginandink(lookingroundtheroom。)Isthisallofyouto-night?
DOONE。(P。W。D。)Anthonywascalledoutatdinner。Minglehadapaininhistummy。
CURTISS。MiggydiesofcholeraonceaweekintheRains,andgetsdrunkonchlorodyneinbetween。\'Goodlittlechap,though。
AnyoneattheJudge\'s,Blayne?
BLAYNE。Cockleyandhismemsahiblookingawfullywhiteandfagged。\'F(\'。malegirl-couldn\'tcatchthename-onherwaytotheHills,undertheCockleys\'charge-theJudge,andMarkynfreshfromSimla-disgustinglyfit。
CURTISS。GoodLord,howtrulymagnificent!Wasthereenoughice?WhenImangledgarbagethereIgotonewholelump-nearlyasbigasawalnut。WhathadMarkyntosayforhimself?
BLAYNE。\'Seemsthateveryoneishavingafairlygoodtimeupthereinspiteoftherain。ByJove,thatremindsme!IknowI
hadn\'tcomeacrossjustforthepleasureofyoursociety。News!
Greatnews!Markyntoldme。
DOONE。Who\'sdeadnow?
BLAYNE。NoonethatIknowof;butGandy\'shookedatlast!
DROPPINGCHORUS。Howmuch?TheDevil!Markynwaspullingyourleg。NotGANDY!
BLAYNE。(Humming。)\"Yea,verily,verily,verily!Verily,verily,Isayuntothee。\"Theodore,thegifto\'God!OurPhillup!It\'sbeengivenoutupabove。
MACKESY。(Barrister-at-Law。)Huh!Womenwillgiveoutanything。Whatdoesaccusedsay?
BLAYNE。Markyntoldmethathecongratulatedhimwarily-onehandheldout,t\'otherreadytoguard。Gandyturnedpinkandsaiditwasso。
CURTISS。PooroldCaddy!Theyalldoit。Who\'sshe?Let\'shearthedetails。
BLAYNE。She\'sagirl-daughterofaColonelSomebody。
DOONE。Simla\'sstiffwithColonels\'daughters。Bemoreexplicit。
BLAYNE。Waitashake。Whatwashername?Thresomething。
Three-
CURTISS。Stars,perhaps。Caddyknowsthatbrand。
BLAYNE。Threegan-MinnieThreegan。
MACKESY。ThreeganIsn\'tshealittlebitofagirlwithredhair?
BLAYNE。\'Boutthat-fromwhatfromwhatMarkynsaid。
MACKESY。ThenI\'vemether。ShewasatLucknowlastseason。
\'OwnedapermanentlyjuvenileMamma,anddanceddamnably。I
say,Jervoise,youknewtheThreegans,didn\'tyou?
JERVOISE。(Civilianoftwenty-fiveyears\'service,wakingupfromhisdoze。)Eh?What\'sthat?Knewwho?How?IthoughtIwasatHome,confoundyou!
MACKESY。TheThreegangirl\'sengaged,soBlaynesays。
JERVOISE。(Slowly。)Engaged-en-gaged!Blessmysoul!I\'mgettinganoldman!LittleMinnieThreeganengaged。ItwasonlytheotherdayIwenthomewiththemintheSurat-no,theMassilia-
andshewascrawlingaboutonherhandsandkneesamongtheayahs。\'Usedtocallmethe\"TickTackSakib\"becauseIshowedhermywatch。AndthatwasinSixty-Seven-no,Seventy。GoodGod,howtimeflies!I\'manoldman。IrememberwhenThreeganmarriedMissDerwent-daughterofoldHookyDerwent-butthatwasbeforeyourtime。Andsothelittlebaby\'sengagedtohavealittlebabyofherown!Who\'stheotherfool?
MACKESY。GadsbyofthePinkHussars。
JERVOISE。\'Nevermethim。Threeganlivedindebt,marriedindebt,and\'lldieindebt。\'Mustbegladtogetthegirloffhishands。
BLAYNE。Caddyhasmoney-luckydevil。PlaceatHome,too。
DOONE。Hecomesoffirst-classstock。\'Can\'tquiteunderstandhisbeingcaughtbyaColonel\'sdaughter,and(lookingcautiouslyroundroom。)BlackInfantryatthat!Nooffencetoyou,Blayne。
BLAYNE。(Stiffly。)Notmuch,thaanks。
CURTISS。(QuotingmottoofIrregularMoguls。)\"Wearewhatweare,\"eh,oldman?ButGandywassuchasuperioranimalasarule。
Whydidn\'thegoHomeandpickhiswifethere?
MACKESY。Theyareallalikewhentheycometotheturnintothestraight。Aboutthirtyamanbeginstogetsickoflivingalone。
CURTISS。Andoftheeternalmuttony-chopinthemorning。
DOONE。It\'sadeadgoatasarule,butgoon,Mackesy。
MACKESY。Ifaman\'soncetakenthatwaynothingwillholdhim,DoyourememberBenoitofyourservice,Doone?TheytransferredhimtoTharandawhenhistimecame,andhemarriedaplatelayer\'sdaughter,orsomethingofthatkind。Shewastheonlyfemaleabouttheplace。
DONE。Yes,poorbrute。ThatsmashedBenoit\'schancesofpromotionaltogether。Mrs。Benoitusedtoask\"Wasyougem\'tothedancethisevenin\'?\"
CURTISS。Hangitall!Gandyhasn\'tmarriedbeneathhim。There\'snotarbrushinthefamily,Isuppose。
JERVOISE。Tar-brush!Notananna。Youyoungfellowstalkasthoughthemanwasdoingthegirlanhonorinmarryingher。
You\'realltooconceited-nothing\'sgoodenoughforyou。
BLAYNE。NotevenanemptyClub,adam\'baddinnerattheJudge\'s,andaStationassicklyasahospital。You\'requiteright。
We\'reasetofSybarites。
DOONE。Luxuriousdogs,wallowingin-
CURTISS。Pricklyheatbetweentheshoulders。I\'mcoveredwithit。Let\'shopeBeorawillbecooler。
BLAYNE。Whew!Areyouorderedintocamp,too?IthoughttheGunnershadacleansheet。
CURTISS。No,worseluck。Twocasesyesterday-onedied-andifwehaveathird,outwego。IsthereanyshootingatBeora,Doone?
DOONE。Thecountry\'sunderwater,exceptthepatchbytheGrandTrunkRoad。Iwasthereyesterday,lookingatabund,andcameacrossfourpoordevilsintheirlaststage。It\'sratherbadfromheretoKuchara。
CURTISS。Thenwe\'reprettycertaintohaveaheavygoofit。
Heigho!Ishouldn\'tmindchangingplaceswithGaddyforawhile。
\'SportwithAmaryllisintheshadeoftheTownHall,andallthat。
Oh,whydoesn\'tsomebodycomeandmarryme,insteadoflettingmegointocholera-camp?
MACKESY。AsktheCommittee。
CURTISS。Youruffian!You\'llstandmeanotherpegforthat。
Blayne,whatwillyoutake?Mackesyisfineonmoralgrounds。
Done,haveyouanypreference?
DONE。SmallglassKummel,please。Excellentcarminative,thesedays。Anthonytoldmeso。
MACKESY。(Signingvoucherforfourdrinks。)Mostunfairpunishment。IonlythoughtofCurtissasActaeonbeingchiviedroundthebilliardtablesbythenymphsofDiana。
BLAYNE。Curtisswouldhavetoimporthisnymphsbytrain。Mrs。
Cockley\'stheonlywomanintheStation。Shewon\'tleaveCockley,andhe\'sdoinghisbesttogethertogo。
CURTISS。Good,indeed!Here\'sMrs。Cockley\'shealth。TotheonlywifeintheStationandadamnedbravewoman!
OMNES。(Drinking。)AdamnedbravewomanBLAVNE。IsupposeGandywillbringhiswifehereattheendofthecoldweather。Theyaregoingtobemarriedalmostimmediately,Ibelieve。
CURTISS。GandymaythankhisluckthatthePinkHussarsarealldetachmentandnoheadquartersthishotweather,orhe\'dbetornfromthearmsofhisloveassureasdeath。Haveyouevernoticedthethorough-mindedwayBritishCavalrytaketocholera?It\'sbecausetheyaresoexpensive。IfthePinkshadstoodfasthere,theywouldhavebeenoutincampa。monthago。Yes,IshoulddecidedlyliketobeGandy。
MACKESY。He\'llgoHomeafterhe\'smarried,andsendinhispapers-seeifhedoesn\'t。
BLAYNE。Whyshouldn\'the?Hasn\'themoney?Wouldanyoneofusbehereifweweren\'tpaupers?
DONE。Pooroldpauper!Whathasbecomeofthesixhundredyourookedfromourtablelastmonth?
BLAYNE。Ittookuntoitselfwings。Ithinkanenterprisingtradesmangotsomeofit,andashroffgobbledtherest-orelseI
spentit。
CURTISS。Gandyneverhaddealingswithashroffinhislife。
DONE。VirtuousGandy!IfIhadthreethousandamonth,paidfromEngland,Idon\'tthinkI\'ddealwithashroffeither。
MACKESY。(Yawning。)Oh,it\'sasweetlife!Iwonderwhethermatrimonywouldmakeitsweeter。
CURTISS。AskCockley-withhiswifedyingbyinches!
BLAYNE。Gohomeandgetafoolofagirltocomeoutto-whatisitThackeraysays?-\"thesplendidpalaceofanIndianpro-consul。\"
DOONE。Whichremindsme。Myquartersleaklikeasieve。Ihadfeverlastnightfromsleepinginaswamp。Andtheworstofitis,onecan\'tdoanythingtoarooftilltheRainsareover。
CURTISS。What\'swrongwithyou?Youhaven\'teightyrottingTommiestotakeintoarunningstream。
DONE。No:butI\'mmixedboilsandbadlanguage。I\'maregularJoballovermybody。It\'ssheerpovertyofblood,andIdon\'tseeanychanceofgettingricher-eitherway。
BLAYNE。Can\'tyoutakeleave?DONE。That\'sthepullyouArmymenhaveoverus。Tendaysarenothinginyoursight。I\'msoimportantthatGovernmentcan\'tfindasubstituteifIgoaway。
Ye-es,I\'dliketobeGandy,whoeverhiswifemaybe。
CURTISS。You\'vepassedtheturnoflifethatMackesywasspeakingof。
DONE。IndeedIhave,butIneveryethadthebrutalitytoaskawomantosharemylifeouthere。
BLAvNE。OnmysoulIbelieveyou\'reright。I\'mthinkingofMrs。
Cockley。Thewoman\'sanabsolutewreck。
DONE。Exactly。Becauseshestaysdownhere。TheonlywaytokeepherfitwouldbetosendhertotheHillsforeightmonths-andthesamewithanywoman。IfancyIseemyselftakingawifeonthoseterms。
MACKESY。Withtherupeeatoneandsixpence。ThelittleDooneswouldbelittleDebraDoones,withafineMussooriechi-chianenttobringhomefortheholidays。
CURTISS。Andapairofbe-ewtifulsambhur-hornsforDonetowear,freeofexpense,presentedby-DONE。Yes,it\'sanenchantingprospect。Bytheway,therupeehasn\'tdonefallingyet。Thetimewillcomewhenweshallthinkourselvesluckyifweonlylosehalfourpay。
CURTISS。Surelyathird\'slossenough。Whogainsbythearrangement?That\'swhatIwanttoknow。
BLAYNE。TheSilverQuestion!I\'mgoingtobedifyoubeginsquabblingThankGoodness,here\'sAnthony-lookinglikeaghost。
EnterANTHONY,IndianMedicalStaff,verywhiteandtired。
ANTHONY。\'Evening,Blayne。It\'sraininginsheets。Whiskeypeglao,khitmatgar。Theroadsaresomethingghastly。
CURTISS。How\'sMingle?
ANTHONY。Verybad,andmorefrightened。IhandedhimovertoFew-ton。Minglemightjustaswellhavecalledhiminthefirstplace,insteadofbotheringme。
BLAYNE。He\'sanervouslittlechap。Whathashegot,thistime?
ANTHONY。\'Can\'tquitesay。Averybadtummyandabluefunksofar。Heaskedmeatonceifitwascholera,andItoldhimnottobeafool。Thatsoothedhim。
CURTIS。Poordevil!Thefunkdoeshalfthebusinessinamanofthatbuild。
ANTHONY。(Lightingacheroot。)Ifirmlybelievethefunkwillkillhimifhestaysdown。Youknowtheamountoftroublehe\'sbeengivingFewtonforthelastthreeweeks。He\'sdoinghisverybesttofrightenhimselfintothegrave。
GENERALCHORUS。Poorlittledevil!Whydoesn\'thegetaway?
ANTHONY。\'Can\'t。Hehashisleaveallright,buthe\'ssodippedhecan\'ttakeit,andIdon\'tthinkhisnameonpaperwouldraisefourannas。That\'sinconfidence,though。
MACKESY。AlltheStationknowsit。
ANTHONY。\"IsupposeIshallhavetodiehere,\"hesaid,squirmingallacrossthebed。He\'squitemadeuphismindtoKingdomCome。AndIknowhehasnothingmorethanawet-weathertummyifhecouldonlykeepahandonhimself。
BLAYNE。That\'sbad。That\'sverybad。PoorlittleMiggy。Goodlittlechap,too。Isay-
ANTHONY。Whatdoyousay?
BLAYNE。Well,lookhere-anyhow。Ifit\'slikethat-asyousay-I
sayfifty。
CURTISS。Isayfifty。
MACKESY。Igotwentybetter。
DONE。BloatedCroesusoftheBar!Isayfifty。Jervoise,whatdoyousay?Hi!Wakeup!
JERVOISE。Eh?What\'sthat?What\'sthat?
CURTISS。Wewantahundredrupeesfromyou。You\'reabachelordrawingagiganticincome,andthere\'samaninahole。
JERVOISE。Whatman?Anyonedead?
BLAYNE。No,huthe\'lldieifyoudon\'tgivethehundred。Here!
Here\'sapeg-voucher。Youcanseewhatwe\'vesignedfor,andAnthony\'smanwillcomeroundto-morrowtocollectit。Sotherewillbenotrouble。
JERVOISE。(Signing。)Onehundred,E。M。J。Thereyouare(feebly)。Itisn\'toneofyourjokes,isit?
BLAYNE。No,itreallyiswanted。Anthony,youwerethebiggestpoker-winnerlastweek,andyou\'vedefraudedthetax-collectortoolong。Sign!
ANTHONY。Let\'ssee。Threefiftiesandaseventy-twotwenty-threetwenty-sayfourhundredandtwenty。That\'llgivehimamonthclearattheHills。Manythanks,youmen。I\'llsendroundthechaprassito-morrow。
CURTISS。Youmustengineerhistakingthestuff,andofcourseyoumustn\'t-
ANTHONY。Ofcourse。Itwouldneverdo。He\'dweepwithgratitudeoverhiseveningdrink。
BLAYNE。That\'sjustwhathewoulddo,damnhim。Oh!Isay,Anthony,youpretendtoknoweverything。HaveyouheardaboutGandy?
ANTHONY。No。DivorceCourtatlast?
BLAYNE。Worse。He\'sengaged!
ANTHONY。Howmuch?Hecan\'tbe!
BLAYNE。Heis。He\'sgoingtobemarriedinafewweeks。MarkyntoldmeattheJudge\'sthisevening。It\'spukka。
ANTHONY。Youdon\'tsayso?HolyMoses!There\'llbeashineinthetentsofKedar。
CURTISS。\'Regimentcutuprough,thinkyou?
ANTHONY。\'Don\'tknowanythingabouttheRegiment。
MACKESY。Itisbigamy,then?
ANTHONY。Maybe。Doyoumeantosaythatyoumenhaveforgotten,oristheremorecharityintheworldthanIthought?
DONE。Youdon\'tlookprettywhenyouaretryingtokeepasecret。
Youbloat。Explain。
ANTHONY。Mrs。Herriott!
BLAYNE。(Afteralongpause,totheroomgenerally。)It\'smynotionthatweareasetoffools。
MACKESY。Nonsense。Thatbusinesswasknockedontheheadlastseason。Why,youngMallard-
ANTHONY。Mallardwasacandlestick,paradedassuch。Thinkawhile。Recollectlastseasonandthetalkthen。MallardornoMallard,didGandyevertalktoanyotherwoman?
CURTISS。There\'ssomethinginthat。Itwasslightlynoticeablenowyoucometomentionit。Butshe\'satNainiTatandhe\'satSimla。
ANTHONY。HehadtogotoSimlatolookafteraglobe-trotterrelativeofhis-apersonwithatitle。Uncleoraunt。
BLAYNEAndtherehegotengaged。Nolawpreventsamangrowingtiredofawoman。
ANTHONY。Exceptthathemustn\'tdoittillthewomanistiredofhim。AndtheHerriottwomanwasnotthat。
CURTISS。Shemaybenow。TwomonthsofNainiTalworkswonders。
DONE。CuriousthinghowsomewomencarryaFatewiththem。
TherewasaMrs。DeegieintheCentralProvinceswhosemeninvariablyfellawayandgotmarried。ItbecamearegularproverbwithuswhenIwasdownthere。Irememberthreemendesperatelydevotedtoher,andtheyall,oneafteranother,tookwives。
CURTISS。That\'sodd。NowIshouldhavethoughtthatMrs。
Deegie\'sinfluencewouldhaveledthemtotakeothermen\'swives。
ItoughttohavemadethemafraidofthejudgmentofProvidence。
ANTHONY。Mrs。HerriottwillmakeGandyafraidofsomethingmorethanthejudgmentofProvidence,Ifancy。
BLAYNE。Supposingthingsareasyousay,he\'llbeafooltofaceher。He\'llsittightatSimla。
ANTHONY。\'Shouldn\'tbeabitsurprisedifhewentofftoNainitoexplain。He\'sanunaccountablesortofman,andshe\'slikelytobeamorethanunaccountablewoman。
DONE。Whatmakesyoutakehercharacterawaysoconfidently?
ANTHONY。Primumternpus。Caddywasherfirstandawomandoesn\'tallowherfirstmantodropawaywithoutexpostulation。
Shejustifiesthefirsttransferofaffectiontoherselfbyswearingthatitisforeverandever。Consequently-
BLAYNE。Consequently,wearesittingheretillpastoneo\'clock,talkingscandallikeasetofStationcats。Anthony,it\'sallyourfault。WewereperfectlyrespectabletillyoucameinGotobed。
I\'moff,Good-nightall。
CURTISS。Pastone!It\'spasttwobyJove,andhere\'sthekhitcomingforthelatecharge。JustHeavens!One,two,three,four,fiverupeestopayforthepleasureofsayingthatapoorlittlebeastofawomanisnobetterthansheshouldbe。I\'mashamedofmyself。
Gotobed,youslanderousvillains,andifI\'msenttoBeorato-morrow,bepreparedtohearI\'mdeadbeforepayingmycardaccount!
THETENTSOFKEDAR
OnlywhyshoulditbewithpainatallWhymustI\'twixtheleavesofcorona!Putanykissofpardononthybrow?Whyshouldtheotherwomenknowsomuch,Andtalktogether-SuchthelookandsuchThesmileheusedtolovewith,thenasnow-AnyWifetoanyHusband。
SCENE-ANainiTaldinnerforthirty-four。Plate,wines,crockery,andkhitmatgarscarefullycalculatedtoscaleofRs。6000permensem,lessExchange。Tablesplitlengthwaysbybankofflowers。
MRS。HERRIOTT。(Afterconversationhasrisentoproperpitch。)
Ah!\'Didn\'tseeyouinthecrushinthedrawing-room。(Sottovoce。)
Wherehaveyoubeenallthiswhile,Pip?
CAPTAINGADSBY。(Turningfromregularlyordaineddinnerpartnerandsettlinghockglasses。)Goodevening。(Sottovoce。)
Notquitesoloudanothertime。You\'venonotionhowyourvoicecarries。(Aside。)Somuchforshirkingthewrittenexplanation。It\'llhavetobeaverbalonenow。Sweetprospect!HowonearthamI
totellherthatIamarespectable,engagedmemberofsocietyandit\'salloverbetweenus?
MRS。H。I\'veaheavyscoreagainstyou。WherewereyouattheMondayPop?WherewereyouonTuesday?WherewereyouattheLamonts\'tennis?Iwaslookingeverywhere。
CAPT。G。Forme!Oh,Iwasalivesomewhere,Isuppose。
(Aside。)It\'sforMinnie\'ssake,butit\'sgoingtobedashedunpleasant。
MRS。H。HaveIdoneanythingtooffendyou?InevermeantitifI
have。Icouldn\'thelpgoingforaridewiththeVaynorman。Itwaspromisedaweekbeforeyoucameup。
CAPT。G。Ididn\'tknow-
MRS。H。Itreallywas。
CAPT。G。Anythingaboutit,Imean。
MRS。H。Whathasupsetyoutoday?Allthesedays?Youhaven\'tbeennearmeforfourwholedays-nearlyonehundredhours。Wasitkindofyou,Pip?AndI\'vebeenlookingforwardsomuchtoyourcoming。
CAPT。G。Haveyou?
MRS。H。YouknowIhave!I\'vebeenasfoolishasaschoolgirlaboutit。Imadealittlecalendarandputitinmycard-case,andeverytimethetwelveo\'clockgunwentoffIscratchedoutasquareandsaid:\"ThatbringsmenearertoPip。MyPip!\"
CAPT。G。(Withanuneasylaugh)。WhatwillMacklerthinkifyouneglecthimso?
MRS。H。Andithasn\'tbroughtyounearer。Youseemfartherawaythanever。Areyousulkingaboutsomething?Iknowyourtemper。