Whenmydiseaseabated,Pleyelhadforbornehisvisits,andhadlatelysetoutuponthisjourney。Thisamountedtoaproofthatmyguiltwasstillbelievedbyhim。Iwasgrievedforhiserrors,buttrustedthatmyvindicationwould,soonerorlater,bemade。
Meanwhile,tumultuousthoughtswereagainsetafloatbyaproposalmadetomebymyuncle。Heimaginedthatnewairswouldrestoremylanguishingconstitution,andavariedsuccessionofobjectstendtorepairtheshockwhichmymindhadreceived。Forthisend,heproposedtometotakeupmyabodewithhiminFranceorItaly。
Atamoreprosperousperiod,thisschemewouldhavepleasedforitsownsake。Nowmyheartsickenedattheprospectofnature。Theworldofmanwasshrowdedinmiseryandblood,andconstitutedaloathsomespectacle。Iwillinglyclosedmyeyesinsleep,andregrettedthattherespiteitaffordedmewassoshort。Imarkedwithsatisfactiontheprogressofdecayinmyframe,andconsentedtolive,merelyinthehopethatthecourseofnaturewouldspeedilyrelievemefromtheburthen。
Nevertheless,ashepersistedinhisscheme,Iconcurredinitmerelybecausehewasentitledtomygratitude,andbecausemyrefusalgavehimpain。
Nosoonerwasheinformedofmyconsent,thanhetoldmeI
mustmakeimmediatepreparationtoembark,astheshipinwhichhehadengagedapassagewouldbereadytodepartinthreedays。
Thisexpeditionwasunexpected。Therewasanimpatienceinhismannerwhenheurgedthenecessityofdispatchthatexcitedmysurprize。WhenIquestionedhimastothecauseofthishaste,hegenerallystatedreasonswhich,atthattime,Icouldnotdenytobeplausible;butwhich,onthereview,appearedinsufficient。Isuspectedthatthetruemotiveswereconcealed,andbelievedthatthesemotiveshadsomeconnectionwithmybrother\'sdestiny。
InowrecollectedthattheinformationrespectingWielandwhichhad,fromtimetotime,beenimpartedtome,wasalwaysaccompaniedwithairsofreserveandmysteriousness。Whathadappearedsufficientlyexplicitatthetimeitwasuttered,Inowrememberedtohavebeenfalteringandambiguous。Iwasresolvedtoremovemydoubts,byvisitingtheunfortunatemaninhisdungeon。
Heretoforetheideaofthisvisithadoccurredtome;butthehorrorsofhisdwelling-place,hiswildyetplacidphysiognomy,hisneglectedlocks,thefetterswhichconstrainedhislimbs,terribleastheywereindescription,howcouldIenduretobehold!
Now,however,thatIwaspreparingtotakeaneverlastingfarewellofmycountry,nowthatanoceanwashenceforthtoseparatemefromhim,howcouldIpartwithoutaninterview?I
wouldexaminehissituationwithmyowneyes。Iwouldknowwhethertherepresentationswhichhadbeenmadetomeweretrue。
Perhapsthesightofthesisterwhomhewaswonttolovewithapassionmorethanfraternal,mighthaveanauspiciousinfluenceonhismalady。
Havingformedthisresolution,IwaitedtocommunicateittoMr。Cambridge。Iwasawarethat,withouthisconcurrence,I
couldnothopetocarryitintoexecution,andcoulddiscovernoobjectiontowhichitwasliable。IfIhadnotbeendeceivedastohiscondition,noinconveniencecouldarisefromthisproceeding。Hisconsent,therefore,wouldbethetestofhissincerity。
Iseizedthisopportunitytostatemywishesonthishead。
Mysuspicionswereconfirmedbythemannerinwhichmyrequestaffectedhim。Aftersomepause,inwhichhiscountenancebetrayedeverymarkofperplexity,hesaidtome,\"Whywouldyoupaythisvisit?Whatusefulpurposecanitserve?\"
\"Wearepreparing,\"saidI,\"toleavethecountryforever:
WhatkindofbeingshouldIbetoleavebehindmeabrotherincalamitywithoutevenapartinginterview?Indulgemeforthreeminutesinthesightofhim。MyheartwillbemucheasierafterIhavelookedathim,andshedafewtearsinhispresence。\"
\"Ibelieveotherwise。Thesightofhimwouldonlyaugmentyourdistress,withoutcontributing,inanydegree,tohisbenefit。\"
\"Iknownotthat,\"returnedI。\"Surelythesympathyofhissister,proofsthathertendernessisaslivelyasever,mustbeasourceofsatisfactiontohim。Atpresenthemustregardallmankindashisenemiesandcalumniators。Hissisterhe,probably,conceivestopartakeinthegeneralinfatuation,andtojoininthecryofabhorrencethatisraisedagainsthim。Tobeundeceivedinthisrespect,tobeassuredthat,howeverImayimputehisconducttodelusion,Istillretainallmyformeraffectionforhisperson,andvenerationforthepurityofhismotives,cannotbutaffordhimpleasure。WhenhehearsthatI
haveleftthecountry,withouteventheceremoniousattentionofavisit,whatwillhethinkofme?Hismagnanimitymayhinderhimfromrepining,buthewillsurelyconsidermybehaviourassavageandunfeeling。Indeed,dearSir,Imustpaythisvisit。
Toembarkwithyouwithoutpayingit,willbeimpossible。Itmaybeofnoservicetohim,butwillenablemetoacquitmyselfofwhatIcannotbutesteemaduty。Besides,\"continuedI,\"ifitbeamerefitofinsanitythathasseizedhim,maynotmypresencechancetohaveasalutaryinfluence?Themeresightofme,itisnotimpossible,mayrectifyhisperceptions。\"
\"Ay,\"saidmyuncle,withsomeeagerness;\"itisbynomeansimpossiblethatyourinterviewmayhavethateffect;andforthatreason,beyondallothers,wouldIdissuadeyoufromit。\"
Iexpressedmysurprizeatthisdeclaration。\"Isitnottobedesiredthatanerrorsofatalasthisshouldberectified?\"
\"Iwonderatyourquestion。Reflectontheconsequencesofthiserror。Hashenotdestroyedthewifewhomheloved,thechildrenwhomheidolized?Whatisitthatenableshimtobeartheremembrance,butthebeliefthatheactedashisdutyenjoined?Wouldyourashlybereavehimofthisbelief?Wouldyourestorehimtohimself,andconvincehimthathewasinstigatedtothisdreadfuloutragebyaperversionofhisorgans,oradelusionfromhell?
\"Nowhisvisionsarejoyousandelate。Heconceiveshimselftohavereachedaloftierdegreeofvirtue,thananyotherhumanbeing。Themeritofhissacrificeisonlyenhancedintheeyesofsuperiorbeings,bythedetestationthatpursueshimhere,andthesufferingstowhichheiscondemned。Thebeliefthatevenhissisterhasdesertedhim,andgoneovertohisenemies,addstohissublimityoffeelings,andhisconfidenceindivineapprobationandfuturerecompense。
\"Lethimbeundeceivedinthisrespect,andwhatfloodsofdespairandofhorrorwilloverwhelmhim!Insteadofglowingapprobationandserenehope,willhenothateandtorturehimself?Self-violence,oraphrenzyfarmoresavageanddestructivethanthis,maybeexpectedtosucceed。Ibeseechyou,therefore,torelinquishthisscheme。Ifyoucalmlyreflectuponit,youwilldiscoverthatyourdutyliesincarefullyshunninghim。\"
Mr。Cambridge\'sreasoningssuggestedviewstomyunderstanding,thathadnothithertooccurred。Icouldnotbutadmittheirvalidity,buttheyshewed,inanewlight,thedepthofthatmisfortuneinwhichmybrotherwasplunged。Iwassilentandirresolute。
Presently,Iconsidered,thatwhetherWielandwasamaniac,afaithfulservantofhisGod,thevictimofhellishillusions,orthedupeofhumanimposture,wasbynomeanscertain。InthisstateofmyminditbecamemetobesilentduringthevisitthatIprojected。Thisvisitshouldbebrief:Ishouldbesatisfiedmerelytosnatchalookathim。Admittingthatachangeinhisopinionswerenottobedesired,therewasnodangerfromtheconductwhichIshouldpursue,thatthischangeshouldbewrought。
ButIcouldnotconquermyuncle\'saversiontothisscheme。
YetIpersisted,andhefoundthattomakemevoluntarilyrelinquishit,itwasnecessarytobemoreexplicitthanhehadhithertobeen。Hetookbothmyhands,andanxiouslyexaminingmycountenanceashespoke,\"Clara,\"saidhe,\"thisvisitmustnotbepaid。Wemusthastenwiththeutmostexpeditionfromthisshore。Itisfollytoconcealthetruthfromyou,and,sinceitisonlybydisclosingthetruththatyoucanbeprevailedupontolayasidethisproject,thetruthshallbetold。
\"Omydeargirl!\"continuedhewithincreasingenergyinhisaccent,\"yourbrother\'sphrenzyis,indeed,stupendousandfrightful。Thesoulthatformerlyactuatedhisframehasdisappeared。Thesameformremains;butthewiseandbenevolentWielandisnomore。Afurythatisrapaciousofblood,thatliftshisstrengthalmostabovethatofmortals,thatbendsallhisenergiestothedestructionofwhateverwasoncedeartohim,possesseshimwholly。
\"Youmustnotenterhisdungeon;hiseyeswillnosoonerbefixeduponyou,thananexertionofhisforcewillbemade。Hewillshakeoffhisfettersinamoment,andrushuponyou。Nointerpositionwillthenbestrongorquickenoughtosaveyou。
\"ThephantomthathasurgedhimtothemurderofCatharineandherchildrenisnotyetappeased。Yourlife,andthatofPleyel,areexactedfromhimbythisimaginarybeing。Heiseagertocomplywiththisdemand。Twicehehasescapedfromhisprison。Thefirsttime,henosoonerfoundhimselfatliberty,thanhehastedtoPleyel\'shouse。Itbeingmidnight,thelatterwasinbed。Wielandpenetratedunobservedtohischamber,andopenedhiscurtain。Happily,Pleyelawokeatthecriticalmoment,andescapedthefuryofhiskinsman,byleapingfromhischamber-windowintothecourt。Happily,hereachedthegroundwithoutinjury。Alarmsweregiven,andafterdiligentsearch,yourbrotherwasfoundinachamberofyourhouse,whither,nodoubt,hehadsoughtyou。
\"Hischains,andthewatchfulnessofhisguards,wereredoubled;butagain,bysomemiracle,herestoredhimselftoliberty。Hewasnowincautiouslyapprizedoftheplaceofyourabode:andhadnotinformationofhisescapebeeninstantlygiven,yourdeathwouldhavebeenaddedtothenumberofhisatrociousacts。
\"Younowseethedangerofyourproject。Youmustnotonlyforbeartovisithim,butifyouwouldsavehimfromthecrimeofembruinghishandsinyourblood,youmustleavethecountry。
Thereisnohopethathismaladywillendbutwithhislife,andnoprecautionwillensureyoursafety,butthatofplacingtheoceanbetweenyou。
\"IconfessIcameoverwithanintentiontoresideamongyou,butthesedisastershavechangedmyviews。Yourownsafetyandmyhappinessrequirethatyoushouldaccompanymeinmyreturn,andIentreatyoutogiveyourcheerfulconcurrencetothismeasure。\"
Aftertheserepresentationsfrommyuncle,itwasimpossibletoretainmypurpose。IreadilyconsentedtosecludemyselffromWieland\'spresence。IlikewiseacquiescedintheproposaltogotoEurope;notthatIeverexpectedtoarrivethere,butbecause,sincemyprinciplesforbadmetoassailmyownlife,changehadsometendencytomakesupportablethefewdayswhichdiseaseshouldsparetome。
Whatatalehadthusbeenunfolded!Iwashuntedtodeath,notbyonewhommymisconducthadexasperated,whowasconsciousofillicitmotives,andwhosoughthisendbycircumventionandsurprize;butbyonewhodeemedhimselfcommissionedforthisactbyheaven;whoregardedthiscareerofhorrorasthelastrefinementofvirtue;whoseimplacabilitywasproportionedtothereverenceandlovewhichhefeltforme,andwhowasinaccessibletothefearofpunishmentandignominy!
InvainshouldIendeavourtostayhishandbyurgingtheclaimsofasisterorfriend:thesewerehisonlyreasonsforpursuingmydestruction。HadIbeenastrangertohisblood;
hadIbeenthemostworthlessofhumankind;mysafetyhadnotbeenendangered。
Surely,saidI,myfateiswithoutexample。Thephrenzywhichischargeduponmybrother,mustbelongtomyself。Myfoeismanacledandguarded;butIderivenosecurityfromtheserestraints。Ilivenotinacommunityofsavages;yet,whetherIsitorwalk,gointocrouds,orhidemyselfinsolitude,mylifeismarkedforapreytoinhumanviolence;Iaminperpetualdangerofperishing;ofperishingunderthegraspofabrother!
Irecollectedtheomensofthisdestiny;Irememberedthegulftowhichmybrother\'sinvitationhadconductedme;I
rememberedthat,whenonthebrinkofdanger,theauthorofmyperilwasdepictedbymyfearsinhisform:Thusrealized,werethecreaturesofpropheticsleep,andofwakefulterror!
TheseimageswereunavoidablyconnectedwiththatofCarwin。
Inthisparoxysmofdistress,myattentionfastenedonhimasthegranddeceiver;theauthorofthisblackconspiracy;theintelligencethatgovernedinthisstorm。
Somereliefisaffordedinthemidstofsuffering,whenitsauthorisdiscoveredorimagined;andanobjectfoundonwhichwemaypouroutourindignationandourvengeance。Iranovertheeventsthathadtakenplacesincetheoriginofourintercoursewithhim,andreflectedonthetenorofthatdescriptionwhichwasreceivedfromLudloe。Mixedupwithnotionsofsupernaturalagency,werethevehementsuspicionswhichIentertained,thatCarwinwastheenemywhosemachinationshaddestroyedus。
Ithirstedforknowledgeandforvengeance。Iregardedmyhastydeparturewithreluctance,sinceitwouldremovemefromthemeansbywhichthisknowledgemightbeobtained,andthisvengeancegratified。Thisdeparturewastotakeplaceintwodays。AttheendoftwodaysIwastobidaneternaladieutomynativecountry。ShouldInotpayapartingvisittothesceneofthesedisasters?ShouldInotbedewwithmytearsthegravesofmysisterandherchildren?ShouldInotexploretheirdesolatehabitation,andgatherfromthesightofitswallsandfurniturefoodformyeternalmelancholy?
Thissuggestionwassucceededbyasecretshuddering。Somedisastrousinfluenceappearedtooverhangthescene。HowmanymemorialsshouldImeetwithservingtorecalltheimagesofthoseIhadlost!
Iwastemptedtorelinquishmydesign,whenitoccurredtomethatIhadleftamongmypapersajournaloftransactionsinshorthand。IwasemployedinthismanuscriptonthatnightwhenPleyel\'sincautiouscuriositytemptedhimtolookovermyshoulder。IwasthenrecordingmyadventureinTHERECESS,animperfectsightofwhichledhimintosuchfatalerrors。
Ihadregulatedthedispositionofallmyproperty。Thismanuscript,however,whichcontainedthemostsecrettransactionsofmylife,Iwasdesirousofdestroying。ForthisendImustreturntomyhouse,andthisIimmediatelydeterminedtodo。
Iwasnotwillingtoexposemyselftooppositionfrommyfriends,bymentioningmydesign;IthereforebespoketheuseofMr。Hallet\'schaise,underpretenceofenjoyinganairing,asthedaywasremarkablybright。
Thisrequestwasgladlycompliedwith,andIdirectedtheservanttoconductmetoMettingen。Idismissedhimatthegate,intendingtouse,inreturning,acarriagebelongingtomybrother。
ChapterXXII
TheinhabitantsoftheHUTreceivedmewithamixtureofjoyandsurprize。Theirhomelywelcome,andtheirartlesssympathy,weregratefultomyfeelings。Inthemidstoftheirinquiries,astomyhealth,theyavoidedallallusionstothesourceofmymalady。Theywerehonestcreatures,andIlovedthemwell。I
participatedinthetearswhichtheyshedwhenImentionedtothemmyspeedydepartureforEurope,andpromisedtoacquaintthemwithmywelfareduringmylongabsence。
TheyexpressedgreatsurprizewhenIinformedthemofmyintentiontovisitmycottage。Alarmandforebodingoverspreadtheirfeatures,andtheyattemptedtodissuademefromvisitinganhousewhichtheyfirmlybelievedtobehauntedbyathousandghastlyapparitions。
Theseapprehensions,however,hadnopowerovermyconduct。
Itookanirregularpathwhichledmetomyownhouse。Allwasvacantandforlorn。Asmallenclosure,nearwhichthepathled,wastheburying-groundbelongingtothefamily。ThisIwasobligedtopass。OnceIhadintendedtoenterit,andponderontheemblemsandinscriptionswhichmyunclehadcausedtobemadeonthetombsofCatharineandherchildren;butnowmyheartfalteredasIapproached,andIhastenedforward,thatdistancemightconcealitfrommyview。
WhenIapproachedtherecess,myheartagainsunk。Iavertedmyeyes,andleftitbehindmeasquicklyaspossible。Silencereignedthroughmyhabitation,andadarknesswhichcloseddoorsandshuttersproduced。Everyobjectwasconnectedwithmineormybrother\'shistory。Ipassedtheentry,mountedthestair,andunlockedthedoorofmychamber。ItwaswithdifficultythatIcurbedmyfancyandsmotheredmyfears。Slightmovementsandcasualsoundsweretransformedintobeckoningshadowsandcallingshapes。
Iproceededtothecloset。Iopenedandlookedrounditwithfearfulness。Allthingswereintheiraccustomedorder。I
soughtandfoundthemanuscriptwhereIwasusedtodepositit。
Thisbeingsecured,therewasnothingtodetainme;yetIstoodandcontemplatedawhilethefurnitureandwallsofmychamber。
Irememberedhowlongthisapartmenthadbeenasweetandtranquilasylum;Icompareditsformerstatewithitspresentdreariness,andreflectedthatInowbehelditforthelasttime。
HereitwasthattheincomprehensiblebehaviourofCarwinwaswitnessed:thisthestageonwhichthatenemyofmanshewedhimselfforamomentunmasked。Herethemenacesofmurderwerewaftedtomyear;andherethesemenaceswereexecuted。
Thesethoughtshadatendencytotakefrommemyself-command。Myfeeblelimbsrefusedtosupportme,andIsunkuponachair。Incoherentandhalf-articulateexclamationsescapedmylips。ThenameofCarwinwasuttered,andeternalwoes,woeslikethatwhichhismalicehadentaileduponus,wereheapeduponhim。Iinvokedall-seeingheaventodragtolightandtopunishthisbetrayer,andaccuseditsprovidenceforhavingthuslongdelayedtheretributionthatwasduetosoenormousaguilt。
Ihavesaidthatthewindowshutterswereclosed。Afeeblelight,however,foundentrancethroughthecrevices。Asmallwindowilluminatedthecloset,andthedoorbeingclosed,adimraystreamedthroughthekey-hole。Akindoftwilightwasthuscreated,sufficientforthepurposesofvision;but,atthesametime,involvingallminuterobjectsinobscurity。
Thisdarknesssuitedthecolourofmythoughts。Isickenedattheremembranceofthepast。Theprospectofthefutureexcitedmyloathing。Imutteredinalowvoice,WhyshouldI
livelonger?WhyshouldIdragamiserablebeing?All,forwhomIoughttolive,haveperished。AmInotmyselfhuntedtodeath?
Atthatmoment,mydespairsuddenlybecamevigorous。Mynerveswerenolongerunstrung。Mypowers,thathadlongbeendeadened,wererevived。Mybosomswelledwithasuddenenergy,andtheconvictiondartedthroughmymind,thattoendmytormentswas,atonce,practicableandwise。
Iknewhowtofindwaytotherecessesoflife。Icouldusealancetwithsomeskill,andcoulddistinguishbetweenveinandartery。Bypiercingdeepintothelatter,Ishouldshuntheevilswhichthefuturehadinstoreforme,andtakerefugefrommywoesinquietdeath。
Istartedonmyfeet,formyfeeblenesswasgone,andhastedtothecloset。AlancetandothersmallinstrumentswerepreservedinacasewhichIhaddepositedhere。InattentiveasIwastoforeignconsiderations,myearswerestillopentoanysoundofmysteriousimportthatshouldoccur。IthoughtIheardastepintheentry。Mypurposewassuspended,andIcastaneagerglanceatmychamberdoor,whichwasopen。Nooneappeared,unlesstheshadowwhichIdiscerneduponthefloor,wastheoutlineofaman。Ifitwere,Iwasauthorizedtosuspectthatsomeonewaspostedclosetotheentrance,whopossiblyhadoverheardmyexclamations。
Myteethchattered,andawildconfusiontookplaceofmymomentarycalm。Thusitwaswhenaterrificvisagehaddiscloseditselfonaformernight。ThusitwaswhentheevildestinyofWielandassumedthelineamentsofsomethinghuman。
Whathorridapparitionwaspreparingtoblastmysight?
StillIlistenedandgazed。Notlong,fortheshadowmoved;
afoot,unshapelyandhuge,wasthrustforward;aformadvancedfromitsconcealment,andstalkedintotheroom。ItwasCarwin!
WhileIhadbreathIshrieked。WhileIhadpowerovermymuscles,Imotionedwithmyhandthatheshouldvanish。Myexertionscouldnotlastlong;Isunkintoafit。
Othatthisgratefuloblivionhadlastedforever!TooquicklyIrecoveredmysenses。Thepowerofdistinctvisionwasnosoonerrestoredtome,thanthishatefulformagainpresenteditself,andIoncemorerelapsed。
Asecondtime,untowardnaturerecalledmefromthesleepofdeath。Ifoundmyselfstretcheduponthebed。WhenIhadpowertolookup,IrememberedonlythatIhadcausetofear。Mydistemperedfancyfashionedtoitselfnodistinguishableimage。
Ithrewalanguidglanceroundme;oncemoremyeyeslighteduponCarwin。
Hewasseatedonthefloor,hisbackrestedagainstthewall,hiskneesweredrawnup,andhisfacewasburiedinhishands。
Thathisstationwasatsomedistance,thathisattitudewasnotmenacing,thathisominousvisagewasconcealed,mayaccountformynowescapingashock,violentasthosewhichwerepast。I
withdrewmyeyes,butwasnotagaindesertedbymysenses。
OnperceivingthatIhadrecoveredmysensibility,heliftedhishead。Thismotionattractedmyattention。Hiscountenancewasmild,butsorrowandastonishmentsatuponhisfeatures。I
avertedmyeyesandfeeblyexclaimed——\"O!fly——flyfarandforever!——Icannotbeholdyouandlive!\"
Hedidnotriseuponhisfeet,butclaspedhishands,andsaidinatoneofdeprecation——\"Iwillfly。Iambecomeafiend,thesightofwhomdestroys。Yettellmemyoffence!Youhavelinkedcurseswithmyname;youascribetomeamalicemonstrousandinfernal。Ilookaround;allislonelinessanddesert!Thishouseandyourbrother\'saresolitaryanddismantled!Youdieawayatthesightofme!Myfearwhispersthatsomedeedofhorrorhasbeenperpetrated;thatIamtheundesigningcause。\"
Whatlanguagewasthis?Hadhenotavowedhimselfaravisher?Hadnotthischamberwitnessedhisatrociouspurposes?Ibesoughthimwithnewvehemencetogo。
Heliftedhiseyes——\"Greatheaven!whathaveIdone?IthinkIknowtheextentofmyoffences。Ihaveacted,butmyactionshavepossiblyeffectedmorethanIdesigned。Thisfearhasbroughtmebackfrommyretreat。Icometorepairtheevilofwhichmyrashnesswasthecause,andtopreventmoreevil。I
cometoconfessmyerrors。\"
\"Wretch!\"Icriedwhenmysuffocatingemotionswouldpermitmetospeak,\"theghostsofmysisterandherchildren,dotheynotrisetoaccusethee?WhowasitthatblastedtheintellectsofWieland?Whowasitthaturgedhimtofury,andguidedhimtomurder?Who,butthouandthedevil,withwhomthouartconfederated?\"
Atthesewordsanewspiritpervadedhiscountenance。Hiseyesoncemoreappealedtoheaven。\"IfIhavememory,ifIhavebeing,Iaminnocent。Iintendednoill;butmyfolly,indirectlyandremotely,mayhavecausedit;butwhatwordsarethese!Yourbrotherlunatic!Hischildrendead!\"
WhatshouldIinferfromthisdeportment?Wastheignorancewhichthesewordsimpliedrealorpretended?——YethowcouldI
imagineamerehumanagencyintheseevents?Butiftheinfluencewaspreternaturalormaniacalinmybrother\'scase,theymustbeequallysoinmyown。ThenIrememberedthatthevoiceexerted,wastosavemefromCarwin\'sattempts。Theseideastendedtoabatemyabhorrenceofthisman,andtodetecttheabsurdityofmyaccusations。
\"Alas!\"saidI,\"Ihavenoonetoaccuse。Leavemetomyfate。Flyfromascenestainedwithcruelty;devotedtodespair。\"
Carwinstoodforatimemusingandmournful。Atlengthhesaid,\"Whathashappened?Icametoexpiatemycrimes:letmeknowthemintheirfullextent。Ihavehorribleforebodings!
Whathashappened?\"
Iwassilent;butrecollectingtheintimationgivenbythismanwhenhewasdetectedinmycloset,whichimpliedsomeknowledgeofthatpowerwhichinterferedinmyfavor,Ieagerlyinquired,\"WhatwasthatvoicewhichcalleduponmetoholdwhenIattemptedtoopenthecloset?WhatfacewasthatwhichIsawatthebottomofthestairs?Answermetruly。\"
\"Icametoconfessthetruth。Yourallusionsarehorribleandstrange。PerhapsIhavebutfaintconceptionsoftheevilswhichmyinfatuationhasproduced;butwhatremainsIwillperform。ItwasmyVOICEthatyouheard!ItwasmyFACEthatyousaw!\"
ForamomentIdoubtedwhethermyremembranceofeventswerenotconfused。Howcouldhebeatoncestationedatmyshoulderandshutupinmycloset?Howcouldhestandnearmeandyetbeinvisible?ButifCarwin\'swerethethrillingvoiceandthefieryvisagewhichIhadheardandseen,thenwashetheprompterofmybrother,andtheauthorofthesedismaloutrages。
OncemoreIavertedmyeyesandstruggledforspeech。
\"Begone!thoumanofmischief!Remorselessandimplacablemiscreant!begone!\"
\"Iwillobey,\"saidheinadisconsolatevoice;\"yet,wretchasIam,amIunworthytorepairtheevilsthatIhavecommitted?Icameasarepentantcriminal。ItisyouwhomI
haveinjured,andatyourbaramIwillingtoappear,andconfessandexpiatemycrimes。Ihavedeceivedyou:Ihavesportedwithyourterrors:Ihaveplottedtodestroyyourreputation。Icomenowtoremoveyourerrors;tosetyoubeyondthereachofsimilarfears;torebuildyourfameasfarasIamable。
\"Thisistheamountofmyguilt,andthisthefruitofmyremorse。Willyounothearme?Listentomyconfession,andthendenouncepunishment。AllIaskisapatientaudience。\"
\"What!\"Ireplied,\"wasnotthinethevoicethatcommandedmybrothertoimbruehishandsinthebloodofhischildren——tostranglethatangelofsweetnesshiswife?Hashenotvowedmydeath,andthedeathofPleyel,atthybidding?Hastthounotmadehimthebutcherofhisfamily;changedhimwhowasthegloryofhisspeciesintoworsethanbrute;robbedhimofreason,andconsignedtherestofhisdaystofettersandstripes?\"
Carwin\'seyesglared,andhislimbswerepetrifiedatthisintelligence。Nowordswererequisitetoprovehimguiltlessoftheseenormities:atthetime,however,Iwasnearlyinsensibletotheseexculpatorytokens。Hewalkedtothefartherendoftheroom,andhavingrecoveredsomedegreeofcomposure,hespoke——
\"Iamnotthisvillain;Ihaveslainnoone;Ihavepromptednonetoslay;Ihavehandledatoolofwonderfulefficacywithoutmalignantintentions,butwithoutcaution;amplewillbethepunishmentofmytemerity,ifmyconducthascontributedtothisevil。\"Hepaused——
Ilikewisewassilent。Istruggledtocommandmyselfsofarastolistentothetalewhichheshouldtell。Observingthis,hecontinued——
\"YouarenotapprizedoftheexistenceofapowerwhichI
possess。Iknownotbywhatnametocallit。*Itenablesmetomimicexactlythevoiceofanother,andtomodifythesoundsothatitshallappeartocomefromwhatquarter,andbeutteredatwhatdistanceIplease。
\"Iknownotthateveryonepossessesthispower。Perhaps,thoughacasualpositionofmyorgansinmyyouthshewedmethatIpossessedit,itisanartwhichmaybetaughttoall。WouldtoGodIhaddiedunknowingofthesecret!Ithasproducednothingbutdegradationandcalamity。
\"Foratimethepossessionofsopotentandstupendousanendowmentelatedmewithpride。Unfortifiedbyprinciple,subjectedtopoverty,stimulatedbyheadlongpassions,Imadethispowerfulenginesubservienttothesupplyofmywants,andthegratificationofmyvanity。IshallnotmentionhowdiligentlyIcultivatedthisgift,whichseemedcapableofunlimitedimprovement;nordetailthevariousoccasionsonwhichitwassuccessfullyexertedtoleadsuperstition,conqueravarice,orexciteawe。
\"IleftAmerica,whichismynativesoil,inmyyouth。I
havebeenengagedinvariousscenesoflife,inwhichmypeculiartalenthasbeenexercisedwithmoreorlesssuccess。
Iwasfinallybetrayedbyonewhocalledhimselfmyfriend,intoactswhichcannotbejustified,thoughtheyaresusceptibleofapology。
\"TheperfidyofthismancompelledmetowithdrawfromEurope。Ireturnedtomynativecountry,uncertainwhethersilenceandobscuritywouldsavemefromhismalice。Iresidedinthepurlieusofthecity。Iputonthegarbandassumedthemannersofaclown。
\"Mychiefrecreationwaswalking。MyprincipalhauntswerethelawnsandgardensofMettingen。Inthisdelightfulregiontheluxuriancesofnaturehadbeenchastenedbyjudiciousart,andeachsuccessivecontemplationunfoldednewenchantments。
\"Iwasstudiousofseclusion:Iwassatiatedwiththeintercourseofmankind,anddiscretionrequiredmetoshuntheirintercourse。ForthesereasonsIlongavoidedtheobservationofyourfamily,andchieflyvisitedtheseprecinctsatnight。
\"IwasneverwearyofadmiringthepositionandornamentsofTHETEMPLE。ManyanighthaveIpassedunderitsroof,revolvingnopleasingmeditations。When,inmyfrequentrambles,Iperceivedthisapartmentwasoccupied,Igaveadifferentdirectiontomysteps。Oneevening,whenashowerhadjustpassed,judgingbythesilencethatnoonewaswithin,I
ascendedtothisbuilding。Glancingcarelesslyround,I
perceivedanopenletteronthepedestal。Toreaditwasdoubtlessanoffenceagainstpoliteness。Ofthisoffence,however,Iwasguilty。
\"ScarcelyhadIgonehalfthroughwhenIwasalarmedbytheapproachofyourbrother。Toscrambledownthecliffontheoppositesidewasimpracticable。Iwasunpreparedtomeetastranger。Besidestheaukwardnessattendingsuchaninterviewinthesecircumstances,concealmentwasnecessarytomysafety。
AthousandtimeshadIvowedneveragaintoemploythedangeroustalentwhichIpossessed;butsuchwastheforceofhabitandtheinfluenceofpresentconvenience,thatIusedthismethodofarrestinghisprogressandleadinghimbacktothehouse,withhiserrand,whateveritwas,unperformed。Ihadoftencaughtparts,frommystationbelow,ofyourconversationinthisplace,andwaswellacquaintedwiththevoiceofyoursister。
\"SomeweeksafterthisIwasagainquietlyseatedinthisrecess。Thelatenessofthehoursecuredme,asIthought,fromallinterruption。Inthis,however,Iwasmistaken,forWielandandPleyel,asIjudgedbytheirvoices,earnestindispute,ascendedthehill。
\"Iwasnotsensiblethatanyinconveniencecouldpossiblyhaveflowedfrommyformerexertion;yetitwasfollowedwithcompunction,becauseitwasadeviationfromapathwhichIhadassignedtomyself。Nowmyaversiontothismeansofescapewasenforcedbyanunauthorizedcuriosity,andbytheknowledgeofabushyhollowontheedgeofthehill,whereIshouldbesafefromdiscovery。IntothishollowIthrustmyself。
\"TheproprietyofremovaltoEuropewasthequestioneagerlydiscussed。PleyelintimatedthathisanxietytogowasaugmentedbythesilenceofTheresadeStolberg。Thetemptationtointerfereinthisdisputewasirresistible。InvainI
contendedwithinveteratehabits。Idisguisedtomyselftheimproprietyofmyconduct,byrecollectingthebenefitswhichitmightproduce。Pleyel\'sproposalwasunwise,yetitwasenforcedwithplausibleargumentsandindefatigablezeal。Yourbrothermightbepuzzledandwearied,butcouldnotbeconvinced。Iconceivedthattoterminatethecontroversyinfavorofthelatterwasconferringabenefitonallparties。
ForthisendIprofitedbyanopeningintheconversation,andassuredthemofCatharine\'sirreconcilableaversiontothescheme,andofthedeathoftheSaxonbaroness。Thelattereventwasmerelyaconjecture,butrenderedextremelyprobablebyPleyel\'srepresentations。Mypurpose,youneednotbetold,waseffected。
\"Mypassionformystery,andaspeciesofimposture,whichI
deemedharmless,wasthusawakenedafresh。Thissecondlapseintoerrormademyrecoverymoredifficult。IcannotconveytoyouanadequateideaofthekindofgratificationwhichI