第3章
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  Onedayabenevolentphysicianwhohadreadthebookshavingfoundastraypoodlesufferingfromabrokenleg,conveyedthepoorcreaturetohishome,andaftersettingandbandagingtheinjuredlimbgavethelittleoutcastitslibertyagain,andthoughtnomoreaboutthematter。

  Buthowgreatwashissurprise,uponopeninghisdooronemorning,somedayslater,tofindthegratefulpoodlepatientlywaitingthere,andinitscompanyanotherstraydog,oneofwhoselegs,bysomeaccident,hadbeenbroken。Thekindphysicianatoncerelievedthedistressedanimal,nordidheforgettoadmiretheinscrutablegoodnessandmercyofGod,whohadbeenwillingtousesohumbleaninstrumentasthepooroutcastpoodlefortheinculcatingof,etc。,etc。,etc。

  SEQUEL

  Thenextmorningthebenevolentphysicianfoundthetwodogs,beamingwithgratitude,waitingathisdoor,andwiththemtwootherdogs-cripples。Thecrippleswerespeedilyhealed,andthefourwenttheirway,leavingthebenevolentphysicianmoreovercomebypiouswonderthanever。Thedaypassed,themorningcame。Thereatthedoorsatnowthefourreconstructeddogs,andwiththemfourothersrequiringreconstruction。Thisdayalsopassed,andanothermorningcame;andnowsixteendogs,eightofthemnewlycrippled,occupiedthesidewalk,andthepeopleweregoingaround。Bynoonthebrokenlegswereallset,butthepiouswonderinthegoodphysician\'sbreastwasbeginningtogetmixedwithinvoluntaryprofanity。Thesunroseoncemore,andexhibitedthirty-twodogs,sixteenofthemwithbrokenlegs,occupyingthesidewalkandhalfofthestreet;thehumanspectatorstookuptherestoftheroom。Thecriesofthewounded,thesongsofthehealedbrutes,andthecommentsoftheonlookingcitizensmadegreatandinspiringcheer,buttrafficwasinterruptedinthatstreet。Thegoodphysicianhiredacoupleofassistantsurgeonsandgotthroughhisbenevolentworkbeforedark,firsttakingtheprecautiontocancelhischurch-membership,sothathemightexpresshimselfwiththelatitudewhichthecaserequired。

  Butsomethingshavetheirlimits。Whenoncemorethemorningdawned,andthegoodphysicianlookedoutuponamassedandfar-reachingmultitudeofclamorousandbeseechingdogs,hesaid,\"Imightaswellacknowledgeit,Ihavebeenfooledbythebooks;theyonlytelltheprettypartofthestory,andthenstop。Fetchmetheshotgun;thisthinghasgonealongfarenough。\"

  Heissuedforthwithhisweapon,andchancedtostepuponthetailoftheoriginalpoodle,whopromptlybithimintheleg。Nowthegreatandgoodworkwhichthispoodlehadbeenengagedinhadengenderedinhimsuchamightyandaugmentingenthusiasmastoturnhisweakheadatlastanddrivehimmad。Amonthlater,whenthebenevolentphysicianlayinthedeath-throesofhydrophobia,hecalledhisweepingfriendsabouthim,andsaid:

  \"Bewareofthebooks。Theytellbuthalfofthestory。Wheneverapoorwretchasksyouforhelp,andyoufeeladoubtastowhatresultmayflowfromyourbenevolence,giveyourselfthebenefitofthedoubtandkilltheapplicant。\"

  Andsosayingheturnedhisfacetothewallandgaveuptheghost。

  THEBENEVOLENTAUTHOR

  Apoorandyoungliterarybeginnerhadtriedinvaintogethismanuscriptsaccepted。Atlast,whenthehorrorsofstarvationwerestaringhimintheface,helaidhissadcasebeforeacelebratedauthor,beseechinghiscounselandassistance。Thisgenerousmanimmediatelyputasidehisownmattersandproceededtoperuseoneofthedespisedmanuscripts。Havingcompletedhiskindlytask,heshookthepooryoungmancordiallybythehand,saying,\"Iperceivemeritinthis;comeagaintomeonMonday。\"Atthetimespecified,thecelebratedauthor,withasweetsmile,butsayingnothing,spreadopenamagazinewhichwasdampfromthepress。Whatwasthepooryoungman\'sastonishmenttodiscoverupontheprintedpagehisownarticle。\"HowcanIever,\"saidhe,fallinguponhiskneesandburstingintotears,\"testifymygratitudeforthisnobleconduct!\"

  ThecelebratedauthorwastherenownedSnodgrass;thepooryoungbeginnerthusrescuedfromobscurityandstarvationwastheafterwardequallyrenownedSnagsby。Letthispleasingincidentadmonishustoturnacharitableeartoallbeginnersthatneedhelp。

  SEQUEL

  ThenextweekSnagsbywasbackwithfiverejectedmanuscripts。Thecelebratedauthorwasalittlesurprised,becauseinthebookstheyoungstrugglerhadneededbutonelift,apparently。However,heplowedthroughthesepapers,removingunnecessaryflowersanddiggingupsomeacresofadjectivestumps,andthensucceededingettingtwoofthearticlesaccepted。

  Aweekorsodriftedby,andthegratefulSnagsbyarrivedwithanothercargo。Thecelebratedauthorhadfeltamightyglowofsatisfactionwithinhimselfthefirsttimehehadsuccessfullybefriendedthepooryoungstruggler,andhadcomparedhimselfwiththegenerouspeopleinthebookswithhighgratification;buthewasbeginningtosuspectnowthathehadstruckuponsomethingfreshinthenoble-episodeline。Hisenthusiasmtookachill。Still,hecouldnotbeartorepulsethisstrugglingyoungauthor,whoclungtohimwithsuchprettysimplicityandtrustfulness。

  Well,theupshotofitallwasthatthecelebratedauthorpresentlyfoundhimselfpermanentlyfreightedwiththepooryoungbeginner。Allhismildeffortstounloadthiscargowentfornothing。Hehadtogivedailycounsel,dailyencouragement;hehadtokeeponprocuringmagazineacceptances,andthenrevampingthemanuscriptstomakethempresentable。

  Whentheyoungaspirantgotastartatlast,herodeintosuddenfamebydescribingthecelebratedauthor\'sprivatelifewithsuchacaustichumorandsuchminutenessofblisteringdetailthatthebooksoldaprodigiousedition,andbrokethecelebratedauthor\'sheartwithmortification。

  Withhislatestgasphesaid,\"Alas,thebooksdeceivedme;theydonottellthewholestory。Bewareofthestrugglingyoungauthor,myfriends。

  WhomGodseesfittostarve,letnotmanpresumptuouslyrescuetohisownundoing。\"

  THEGRATEFULHUSBAND

  Onedayaladywasdrivingthroughtheprincipalstreetofagreatcitywithherlittleboy,whenthehorsestookfrightanddashedmadlyaway,hurlingthecoachmanfromhisboxandleavingtheoccupantsofthecarnageparalyzedwithterror。Butabraveyouthwhowasdrivingagrocery-wagonthrewhimselfbeforetheplunginganimals,andsucceededinarrestingtheirflightattheperilofhisown——[Thisisprobablyamisprint-M。T。]——Thegratefulladytookhisnumber,anduponarrivingatherhomesherelatedtheheroicacttoherhusbandwhohadreadthebooks,wholistenedwithstreamingeyestothemovingrecital,andwho,afterreturningthanks,inconjunctionwithhisrestoredlovedones,toHimwhosufferethnotevenasparrowtofalltothegroundunnoticed,sentforthebraveyoungperson,and,placingacheckforfivehundreddollarsinhishand,said,\"Takethisasarewardforyournobleact,WilliamFerguson,andifeveryoushallneeda,friend,rememberthatThompsonMcSpaddenhasagratefulheart。\"Letuslearnfromthisthatagooddeedcannotfailtobenefitthedoer,howeverhumblehemaybe。

  SEQUEL

  WilliamFergusoncalledthenextweekandaskedMr。McSpaddentousehisinfluencetogethimahigheremployment,hefeelingcapableofbetterthingsthandrivingagrocer\'swagon。Mr。McSpaddengothimanunderclerkshipatagoodsalary。

  PresentlyWilliamFerguson\'smotherfellsick,andWilliam——Well,tocutthestoryshort,Mr。McSpaddenconsentedtotakeherintohishouse。

  Beforelongsheyearnedforthesocietyofheryoungerchildren;soMaryandJuliawereadmittedalso,andlittleJimmy,theirbrother。Jimmyhadapocketknife,andhewanderedintothedrawing-roomwithitoneday,alone,andreducedtenthousanddollars\'worthoffurnituretoanindeterminablevalueinratherlessthanthree-quartersofanhour。

  Adayortwolaterhefelldown-stairsandbrokehisneck,andseventeenofhisfamily\'srelativescametothehousetoattendthefuneral。Thismadethemacquainted,andtheykeptthekitchenoccupiedafterthat,andlikewisekepttheMcSpaddensbusyhunting-upsituationsofvarioussortsforthem,andhuntingupmorewhentheyworetheseout。Theoldwomandrankagooddealandsworeagooddeal;butthegratefulMcSpaddensknewitwastheirdutytoreformher,consideringwhathersonhaddoneforthem,sotheyclavenoblytotheirgeneroustask。Williamcameoftenandgotdecreasingsumsofmoney,andaskedforhigherandmorelucrativeemployments——whichthegratefulMcSpaddenmoreorlesspromptlyprocuredforhim。McSpaddenconsentedalso,aftersomedemur,tofitWilliamforcollege;butwhenthefirstvacationcameandtheherorequestedtobesenttoEuropeforhishealth,thepersecutedMcSpaddenroseagainstthetyrantandrevolted。Heplainlyandsquarelyrefused。WilliamFerguson\'smotherwassoastoundedthatshelethergin-bottledrop,andherprofanelipsrefusedtodotheiroffice。Whensherecoveredshesaidinahalf-gasp,\"Isthisyourgratitude?Wherewouldyourwifeandboybenow,butformyson?\"

  Williamsaid,\"Isthisyourgratitude?DidIsaveyourwife\'slifeornot?Tellmethat!\"

  Sevenrelationsswarmedinfromthekitchenandeachsaid,\"Andthisishisgratitude!\"

  William\'ssistersstared,bewildered,andsaid,\"Andthisishisgrat——\"

  butwereinterruptedbytheirmother,whoburstintotearsandexclaimed,\"TothinkthatmysaintedlittleJimmythrewawayhislifeintheserviceofsuchareptile!\"

  ThenthepluckoftherevolutionaryMcSpaddenrosetotheoccasion,andherepliedwithfervor,\"Outofmyhouse,thewholebeggarlytribeofyou!Iwasbeguiledbythebooks,butshallneverbebeguiledagain——onceissufficientforme。\"AndturningtoWilliamheshouted,\"Yes,youdidsavemy,wife\'slife,andthenextmanthatdoesitshalldieinhistracks!\"

  Notbeingaclergyman,Iplacemytextattheendofmysermoninsteadofatthebeginning。Hereitis,fromMr。NoahBrooks\'sRecollectionsofPresidentLincolninScribnersMonthly:

  J。H。Hackett,inhispartofFalstaff,wasanactorwhogaveMr。

  Lincolngreatdelight。Withhisusualdesiretosignifytoothershissenseofobligation,Mr。Lincolnwroteageniallittlenotetotheactorexpressinghispleasureatwitnessinghisperformance。

  Mr。Hackett,inreply,sentabookofsomesort;perhapsitwasoneofhisownauthorship。HealsowroteseveralnotestothePresident。Onenight,quitelate,whentheepisodehadpassedoutofmymind,IwenttothewhiteHouseinanswertoamessage。

  PassingintothePresident\'soffice,Inoticed,tomysurprise,Hackettsittingintheanteroomasifwaitingforanaudience。ThePresidentaskedmeifanyonewasoutside。Onbeingtold,hesaid,halfsadly,\"Oh,Ican\'tseehim,Ican\'tseehim;Iwasinhopeshehadgoneaway。\"Thenheadded,\"Nowthisjustillustratesthedifficultyofhavingpleasantfriendsandacquaintancesinthisplace。YouknowhowIlikedHackettasanactor,andhowIwrotetotellhimso。Hesentmethatbook,andthereIthoughtthematterwouldend。Heisamasterofhisplaceintheprofession,I

  suppose,andwellfixedinit;butjustbecausewehadalittlefriendlycorrespondence,suchasanytwomenmighthave,hewantssomething。Whatdoyousupposehewants?\"Icouldnotguess,andMr。Lincolnadded,\"well,hewantstobeconsultoLondon。Oh,dear!\"

  Iwillobserve,inconclusion,thattheWilliamFergusonincidentoccurred,andwithinmypersonalknowledge——thoughIhavechangedthenatureofthedetails,tokeepWilliamfromrecognizinghimselfinit。

  AllthereadersofthisarticlehaveinsomesweetandgushinghouroftheirlivesplayedtheroleofMagnanimous-Incidenthero。IwishIknewhowmanythereareamongthemwhoarewillingtotalkaboutthatepisodeandliketoberemindedoftheconsequencesthatflowedfromit。

  PUNCH,BROTHERS,PUNCH

  Willthereaderpleasetocasthiseyeoverthefollowinglines,andseeifhecandiscoveranythingharmfulinthem?

  Conductor,whenyoureceiveafare,Punchinthepresenceofthepassenjare!

  Abluetripslipforaneight-centfare,Abufftripslipforasix-centfare,Apinktripslipforathree-cent,fare,Punchinthepresenceofthepassenjare!

  CHORUS

  Punch,brothers!punchwithcare!

  Punchinthepresenceofthepassenjare!

  Icameacrossthesejinglingrhymesinanewspaper,alittlewhileago,andreadthemacoupleoftimes。Theytookinstantandentirepossessionofme。Allthroughbreakfasttheywentwaltzingthroughmybrain;andwhen,atlast,Irolledupmynapkin,IcouldnottellwhetherIhadeatenanythingornot。Ihadcarefullylaidoutmyday\'sworkthedaybefore——thrillingtragedyinthenovelwhichIamwriting。Iwenttomydentobeginmydeedofblood。Itookupmypen,butallIcouldgetittosaywas,\"Punchinthepresenceofthepassenjare。\"Ifoughthardforanhour,butitwasuseless。Myheadkepthumming,\"Abluetripslipforaneight-centfare,abufftripslipforasix-centfare,\"andsoonandsoon,withoutpeaceorrespite。Theday\'sworkwasruined——Icouldseethatplainlyenough。Igaveupanddrifteddown-town,andpresentlydiscoveredthatmyfeetwerekeepingtimetothatrelentlessjingle。

  WhenIcouldstanditnolongerIalteredmystep。Butitdidnogood;

  thoserhymesaccommodatedthemselvestothenewstepandwentonharassingmejustasbefore。Ireturnedhome,andsufferedalltheafternoon;sufferedallthroughanunconsciousandunrefreshingdinner;

  suffered,andcried,andjingledallthroughtheevening;wenttobedandrolled,tossed,andjingledrightalong,thesameasever;gotupatmidnightfrantic,andtriedtoread;buttherewasnothingvisibleuponthewhirlingpageexcept\"Punch!punchinthepresenceofthepassenjare。\"BysunriseIwasoutofmymind,andeverybodymarveledandwasdistressedattheidioticburdenofmyravings——\"\'Punch!oh,punch!

  punchinthepresenceofthepassenjare!\"

  Twodayslater,onSaturdaymorning,Iarose,atotteringwreck,andwentforthtofulfilanengagementwithavaluedfriend,theRev。Mr——,towalktotheTalcottTower,tenmilesdistant。Hestaredatme,butaskednoquestions。Westarted。Mr——talked,talked,talkedasishiswont。Isaidnothing;Iheardnothing。Attheendofamile,Mr——said\"Mark,areyousick?Ineversawamanlooksohaggardandwornandabsent-minded。Saysomething,do!\"

  Drearily,withoutenthusiasm,Isaid:\"Punchbrothers,punchwithcare!

  Punchinthepresenceothepassenjare!\"

  Myfriendeyedmeblankly,lookedperplexed,theysaid:

  \"IdonotthinkIgetyourdrift,Mark。Thendoesnotseemtobeanyrelevancyinwhatyouhavesaid,certainlynothingsad;andyet——maybeitwasthewayyousaidthewords——Ineverheardanythingthatsoundedsopathetic。Whatis——\"

  ButIheardnomore。Iwasalreadyfarawaywithmypitiless,heartbreaking\"bluetripslipforaneight-centfare,bufftripslipforasix-centfare,pinktripslipforathree-centfare;punchinthepresenceofthepassenjare。\"Idonotknowwhatoccurredduringtheotherninemiles。However,allofasuddenMr——laidhishandonmyshoulderandshouted:

  \"Oh,wakeup!wakeup!wakeup!Don\'tsleepallday!HereweareattheTower,man!Ihavetalkedmyselfdeafanddumbandblind,andnevergotaresponse。Justlookatthismagnificentautumnlandscape!Lookatit!lookatit!Feastyoureyeonit!Youhavetraveled;youhaveseenboasterlandscapeselsewhere。Come,now,deliveranhonestopinion。

  Whatdoyousaytothis?\"

  Isighedwearily;andmurmured:

  \"Abufftripslipforasix-centfare,apinktripslipforathree-centfare,punchinthepresenceofthpassenjare。\"

  Rev。Mr——stoodthere,verygrave,fullofconcern,apparently,andlookedlongatme;thenhesaid:

  \"Mark,thereissomethingaboutthisthatIcannotunderstand。Thoseareaboutthesamewordsyousaidbefore;theredoesnotseemtobeanythinginthem,andyettheynearlybreakmyheartwhenyousaythem。Punchinthe——howisittheygo?\"

  Ibeganatthebeginningandrepeatedallthelines。

  Myfriend\'sfacelightedwithinterest。Hesaid:

  \"Why,whatacaptivatingjingleitis!Itisalmostmusic。Itflowsalongsonicely。Ihavenearlycaughttherhymesmyself。Saythemoverjustoncemore,andthenI\'llhavethem,sure。\"

  Isaidthemover。ThenMr——saidthem。Hemadeonelittlemistake,whichIcorrected。Thenexttimeandthenexthegotthemright。Nowagreatburdenseemedtotumblefrommyshoulders。Thattorturingjingledepartedoutofmybrain,andagratefulsenseofrestandpeacedescendeduponme。Iwaslight-heartedenoughtosing;andI

  didsingforhalfanhour,straightalong,aswewentjogginghomeward。

  Thenmyfreedtonguefoundblessedspeechagain,andthepenttalkofmanyawearyhourbegantogushandflow。Itflowedonandon,joyously,jubilantly,untilthefountainwasemptyanddry。AsIwrungmyfriend\'shandatparting,Isaid:

  \"Haven\'twehadaroyalgoodtime!ButnowIremember,youhaven\'tsaidawordfortwohours。Come,come,outwithsomething!\"

  TheRev。Mr——turnedalack-lustereyeuponme,drewadeepsigh,andsaid,withoutanimation,withoutapparentconsciousness:

  \"Punch,brothers,punchwithcare!Punchinthepresenceofthepassenjare!\"

  ApangshotthroughmeasIsaidtomyself,\"Poorfellow,poorfellow!

  hehasgotit,now。\"

  IdidnotseeMr——fortwoorthreedaysafterthat。Then,onTuesdayevening,hestaggeredintomypresenceandsankdejectedlyintoaseat。Hewaspale,worn;hewasawreck。Heliftedhisfadedeyestomyfaceandsaid:

  \"Ah,Mark,itwasaruinousinvestmentthatImadeinthoseheartlessrhymes。Theyhaveriddenmelikeanightmare,dayandnight,hourafterhour,tothisverymoment。SinceIsawyouIhavesufferedthetormentsofthelost。SaturdayeveningIhadasuddencall,bytelegraph,andtookthenighttrainforBoston。TheoccasionwasthedeathofavaluedoldfriendwhohadrequestedthatIshouldpreachhisfuneralsermon。

  Itookmyseatinthecarsandsetmyselftoframingthediscourse。ButInevergotbeyondtheopeningparagraph;forthenthetrainstartedandthecar-wheelsbegantheir\'clack,clack-clack-clack-clack!clack-clack!——

  clack-clack-clack!\'andrightawaythoseodiousrhymesfittedthemselvestothataccompaniment。ForanhourIsatthereandsetasyllableofthoserhymestoeveryseparateanddistinctclackthecar-wheelsmade。Why,Iwasasfaggedout,then,asifIhadbeenchoppingwoodallday。Myskullwassplittingwithheadache。ItseemedtomethatImustgomadifIsatthereanylonger;soIundressedandwenttobed。Istretchedmyselfoutinmyberth,and——well,youknowwhattheresultwas。Thethingwentrightalong,justthesame。

  \'Clack-clackclack,abluetripslip,clack-clack-clack,foraneightcentfare;clack-clack-clack,abufftripslip,clackclack-clack,forasix-centfare,andsoon,andsoon,andsoonpunchinthepresenceofthepassenjare!\'Sleep?Notasinglewink!IwasalmostalunaticwhenIgottoBoston。Don\'taskmeaboutthefuneral。IdidthebestI

  could,buteverysolemnindividualsentencewasmeshedandtangledandwoveninandoutwith\'Punch,brothers,punchwithcare,punchinthepresenceofthepassenjare。\'Andthemostdistressingthingwasthatmydeliverydroppedintotheundulatingrhythmofthosepulsingrhymes,andIcouldactuallycatchabsent-mindedpeoplenoddingtimetotheswingofitwiththeirstupidheads。And,Mark,youmaybelieveitornot,butbeforeIgotthroughtheentireassemblagewereplacidlybobbingtheirheadsinsolemnunison,mourners,undertaker,andall。ThemomentIhadfinished,Ifledtotheanteroominastateborderingonfrenzy。Ofcourseitwouldbemylucktofindasorrowingandagedmaidenauntofthedeceasedthere,whohadarrivedfromSpringfieldtoolatetogetintothechurch。Shebegantosob,andsaid:

  \"\'Oh,oh,heisgone,heisgone,andIdidn\'tseehimbeforehedied!\'

  \"\'Yes!\'Isaid,\'heisgone,heisgone,heisgone——oh,willthissufferingnevercease!\'

  \"\'Youlovedhim,then!Oh,youtoolovedhim!\'

  \"\'Lovedhim!Lovedwho?\'

  \"\'Why,mypoorGeorge!mypoornephew!\'

  \"\'Oh——him!Yes——oh,yes,yes。Certainly——certainly。Punch——punch——oh,thismiserywillkillme!\'

  \"\'Blessyou!blessyou,sir,forthesesweetwords!I,too,sufferinthisdearloss。Wereyoupresentduringhislastmoments?\'

  \"\'Yes。I——whoselastmoments?\'

  \"\'His。Thedeardeparted\'s。\'

  \"\'Yes!Oh,yes——yes——yes!Isupposeso,Ithinkso,Idon\'tknow!Oh,certainly——IwasthereIwasthere!\'

  \"\'Oh,whataprivilege!whatapreciousprivilege!Andhislastwords——

  oh,tellme,tellmehislastwords!Whatdidhesay?\'

  \"\'Hesaid——hesaid-oh,myhead,myhead,myhead!Hesaid——hesaid——heneversaidanythingbutPunch,punch,punchinthepresenceofthepassenjare!Oh,leaveme,madam!Inthenameofallthatisgenerous,leavemetomymadness,mymisery,mydespair!——abufftripslipforasix-centfare,apinktripslipforathree-centfare——endu——rancecannofur——thergo!——PUNCHinthepresenceofthepassenjare!\"

  Myfriend\'shopelesseyesresteduponmineapregnantminute,andthenhesaidimpressively:

  \"Mark,youdonotsayanything。Youdonotoffermeanyhope。But,ahme,itisjustaswell——itisjustaswell。Youcouldnotdomeanygood。Thetimehaslonggonebywhenwordscouldcomfortme。Somethingtellsmethatmytongueisdoomedtowagforevertothejiggerofthatremorselessjingle,There——thereitiscomingonmeagain:abluetripslipforaneight-centfare,abufftripslipfora——\"

  Thusmurmuringfaintandfainter,myfriendsankintoapeacefultranceandforgothissufferingsinablessedrespite。

  HowdidIfinallysavehimfromanasylum?Itookhimtoaneighboringuniversityandmadehimdischargetheburdenofhispersecutingrhymesintotheeagerearsofthepoor,unthinkingstudents。Howisitwiththem,now?Theresultistoosadtotell。WhydidIwritethisarticle?

  Itwasforaworthy,evenanoble,purpose。Itwastowarnyou,reader,ifyoushouldcameacrossthosemercilessrhymes,toavoidthem——avoidthemasyouwouldapestilence。

  THEGREATREVOLUTIONINPITCAIRN

  Letmerefreshthereader\'smemoryalittle。NearlyahundredyearsagothecrewoftheBritishshipbountymutinied,setthecaptainandhisofficersadriftupontheopensea,tookpossessionoftheship,andsailedsouthward。TheyprocuredwivesforthemselvesamongthenativesofTahiti,thenproceededtoalonelylittlerockinmid-Pacific,calledPitcairn\'sIsland,wreckedthevessel,strippedherofeverythingthatmightbeusefultoanewcolony,andestablishedthemselvesonshore。

  Pitcairn\'sissofarremovedfromthetrackofcommercethatitwasmanyyearsbeforeanothervesseltouchedthere。Ithadalwaysbeenconsideredanuninhabitedisland;sowhenashipdidatlastdropitsanchorthere,in1808,thecaptainwasgreatlysurprisedtofindtheplacepeopled。

  Althoughthemutineershadfoughtamongthemselves,andgraduallykilledeachotheroffuntilonlytwoorthreeoftheoriginalstockremained,thesetragedieshadnotoccurredbeforeanumberofchildrenhadbeenborn;soin1808theislandhadapopulationoftwenty-sevenpersons。

  JohnAdams,thechiefmutineer,stillsurvived,andwastolivemanyyearsyet,asgovernorandpatriarchoftheflock。Frombeingmutineerandhomicide,hehadturnedChristianandteacher,andhisnationoftwenty-sevenpersonswasnowthepurestanddevoutestinChristendom。

  AdamshadlongagohoistedtheBritishflagandconstitutedhisislandanappanageoftheBritishcrown。

  To-daythepopulationnumbersninetypersons——sixteenmen,nineteenwomen,twenty-fiveboys,andthirtygirls——alldescendantsofthemutineers,allbearingthefamilynamesofthosemutineers,andallspeakingEnglish,andEnglishonly。Theislandstandshighupoutofthesea,andhasprecipitouswalls。Itisaboutthree-quartersofamilelong,andinplacesisasmuchashalfamilewide。Sucharablelandasitaffordsisheldbytheseveralfamilies,accordingtoadivisionmademanyyearsago。Thereissomelivestock——goats,pigs,chickens,andcats;butnodogs,andnolargeanimals。Thereisonechurch-buildingusedalsoasacapitol,aschoolhouse,andapubliclibrary。Thetitleofthegovernorhasbeen,foragenerationortwo,\"MagistrateandChiefRuler,insubordinationtoherMajestytheQueenofGreatBritain。\"Itwashisprovincetomakethelaws,aswellasexecutethem。Hisofficewaselective;everybodyoverseventeenyearsoldhadavote——nomatteraboutthesex。

  Thesoleoccupationsofthepeoplewerefarmingandfishing;theirsolerecreation,religiousservices。Therehasneverbeenashopintheisland,noranymoney。Thehabitsanddressofthepeoplehavealwaysbeenprimitive,andtheirlawssimpletopuerility。TheyhavelivedinadeepSabbathtranquillity,farfromtheworldanditsambitionsandvexations,andneitherknowingnorcaringwhatwasgoingoninthemightyempiresthatliebeyondtheirlimitlessoceansolitudes。Onceinthreeorfouryearsashiptouchedthere,movedthemwithagednewsofbloodybattles,devastatingepidemics,fallenthrones,andruineddynasties,thentradedthemsomesoapandflannelforsomeyamsandbreadfruit,andsailedaway,leavingthemtoretireintotheirpeacefuldreamsandpiousdissipationsoncemore。

  Onthe8thoflastSeptember,AdmiraldeHorsey,commander-in-chiefoftheBritishfleetinthePacific,visitedPitcairn\'sIsland,andspeaksasfollowsinhisofficialreporttotheadmiralty:

  Theyhavebeans,carrots,turnips,cabbages,andalittlemaize;

  pineapples,figtrees,custard-apples,andoranges;lemons,andcocoanuts。Clothingisobtainedalonefrompassingships,inbarterforrefreshments。Therearenospringsontheisland,butasitrainsgenerallyonceamonththeyhaveplentyofwater,althoughattimesinformeryearstheyhavesufferedfromdrought。Noalcoholicliquors,exceptformedicinalpurposes,areused,andadrunkardisunknown……

  Thenecessaryarticlesrequiredbytheislandersarebestshownbythosewefurnishedinbarterforrefreshments:namely,flannel,serge,drill,half-boots,combs,tobacco,andsoap。Theyalsostandmuchinneedofmapsandslatesfortheirschool,andtoolsofanykindaremostacceptable。IcausedthemtobesuppliedfromthepublicstoreswithaUnionjack:fordisplayonthearrivalofships,andapit-saw,ofwhichtheyweregreatlyinneed。This,I

  trust,willmeettheapprovaloftheirlordships。IfthemunificentpeopleofEnglandwereonlyawareofthewantsofthismostdeservinglittlecolony,theywouldnotlonggounsupplied……

  DivineserviceisheldeverySundayat10。30A。M。andat3P。M。,inthehousebuiltandusedbyJohnAdamsforthatpurposeuntilhediedin1829。ItisconductedstrictlyinaccordancewiththeliturgyoftheChurchofEngland,byMr。SimonYoung,theirselectedpastor,whoismuchrespected。ABibleclassisheldeveryWednesday,whenallwhoconvenientlycanattend。ThereisalsoageneralmeetingforprayeronthefirstFridayineverymonth。

  Familyprayersaresaidineveryhousethefirstthinginthemorningandthelastthingintheevening,andnofoodispartakenofwithoutaskingGod\'sblessingbeforeandafterward。Oftheseislanders\'religiousattributesnoonecanspeakwithoutdeeprespect。ApeoplewhosegreatestpleasureandprivilegeistocommuneinprayerwiththeirGod,andtojoininhymnsofpraise,andwhoare,moreover,cheerful,diligent,andprobablyfreerfromvicethananyothercommunity,neednopriestamongthem。

  NowIcometoasentenceintheadmiral\'sreportwhichhedroppedcarelesslyfromhispen,nodoubt,andnevergavethematterasecondthought。Helittleimaginedwhatafreightoftragicprophecyitbore!

  Thisisthesentence:

  Onestranger,anAmerican,hassettledontheisland——adoubtfulacquisition。

  Adoubtfulacquisition,indeed!CaptainOrmsby,intheAmericanshipHornet,touchedatPitcairn\'snearlyfourmonthsaftertheadmiral\'svisit,andfromthefactswhichhegatheredtherewenowknowallaboutthatAmerican。Letusputthesefactstogetherinhistoricalform。TheAmerican\'snamewasButterworthStavely。Assoonashehadbecomewellacquaintedwithallthepeople——andthistookbutafewdays,ofcourse——hebegantoingratiatehimselfwiththembyalltheartshecouldcommand。Hebecameexceedinglypopular,andmuchlookedupto;foroneofthefirstthingshedidwastoforsakehisworldlywayoflife,andthrowallhisenergiesintoreligion。HewasalwaysreadinghisBible,orpraying,orsinginghymns,oraskingblessings。Inprayer,noonehadsuch\"liberty\"ashe,noonecouldpraysolongorsowell。

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