第3章
加入书架 A- A+
点击下载App,搜索"Agnes Grey",免费读到尾

  \'Yes,sir。\'

  \'Youknewit?\'

  \'Yes。\'

  \'Youknewit!andyouactuallysatthereandpermittedthemtogoonwithoutawordofreproof!\'

  \'Ididn\'tthinktheyweredoinganyharm。\'

  \'Anyharm!Why,lookthere!Justlookatthatcarpet,andsee-

  wasthereeveranythinglikeitinaChristianhousebefore?Nowonderyourroomisnotfitforapigsty-nowonderyourpupilsareworsethanalitterofpigs!-nowonder-oh!Ideclare,itputsmequitepastmypatience\'andhedeparted,shuttingthedoorafterhimwithabangthatmadethechildrenlaugh。

  \'Itputsmequitepastmypatiencetoo!\'mutteredI,gettingup;

  and,seizingthepoker,Idasheditrepeatedlyintothecinders,andstirredthemupwithunwontedenergy;thuseasingmyirritationunderpretenceofmendingthefire。

  Afterthis,Mr。Bloomfieldwascontinuallylookingintoseeiftheschoolroomwasinorder;and,asthechildrenwerecontinuallylitteringthefloorwithfragmentsoftoys,sticks,stones,stubble,leaves,andotherrubbish,whichIcouldnotpreventtheirbringing,orobligethemtogatherup,andwhichtheservantsrefusedto\'cleanafterthem,\'Ihadtospendaconsiderableportionofmyvaluableleisuremomentsonmykneesuponthefloor,inpainsfullyreducingthingstoorder。OnceItoldthemthattheyshouldnottastetheirsuppertilltheyhadpickedupeverythingfromthecarpet;Fannymighthaveherswhenshehadtakenupacertainquantity,MaryAnnwhenshehadgatheredtwiceasmany,andTomwastoclearawaytherest。Wonderfultostate,thegirlsdidtheirpart;butTomwasinsuchafurythatheflewuponthetable,scatteredthebreadandmilkaboutthefloor,struckhissisters,kickedthecoalsoutofthecoal-pan,attemptedtooverthrowthetableandchairs,andseemedinclinedtomakeaDouglas-larderofthewholecontentsoftheroom:butIseizeduponhim,and,sendingMaryAnntocallhermamma,heldhim,inspiteofkicks,blows,yells,andexecrations,tillMrs。Bloomfieldmadeherappearance。

  \'Whatisthematterwithmyboy?\'saidshe。

  Andwhenthematterwasexplainedtoher,allshedidwastosendforthenursery-maidtoputtheroominorder,andbringMasterBloomfieldhissupper。

  \'Therenow,\'criedTom,triumphantly,lookingupfromhisviandswithhismouthalmosttoofullforspeech。\'Therenow,MissGrey!

  youseeI\'vegotmysupperinspiteofyou:andIhaven\'tpickedupasinglething!\'

  Theonlypersoninthehousewhohadanyrealsympathyformewasthenurse;forshehadsufferedlikeafflictions,thoughinasmallerdegree;asshehadnotthetaskofteaching,norwasshesoresponsiblefortheconductofhercharge。

  \'Oh,MissGrey!\'shewouldsay,\'youhavesometroublewiththemchilder!\'

  \'Ihave,indeed,Betty;andIdaresayyouknowwhatitis。\'

  \'Ay,Idoso!ButIdon\'tvexmyselfo\'er\'emasyoudo。

  Andthen,yousee,Ihit\'emaslapsometimes:andthemlittle\'uns-

  Igives\'emagoodwhippingnowandthen:there\'snothingelsewilldofor\'em,aswhattheysay。Howsoever,I\'velostmyplaceforit。\'

  \'Haveyou,Betty?Iheardyouweregoingtoleave。\'

  \'Eh,blessyou,yes!Missisgavemewarningathreewiksin\'。

  ShetoldmeaforeChristmashowitmudbe,ifIhit\'emagain;butI

  couldn\'tholdmyhandoff\'ematnothing。IknownothowYOUdo,forMissMaryAnn\'sworsebythehalfnorhersisters!\'

  chapter05

  CHAPTERV-THEUNCLE

  BESIDEStheoldlady,therewasanotherrelativeofthefamily,whosevisitswereagreatannoyancetome-thiswas\'UncleRobson,\'Mrs。Bloomfield\'sbrother;atall,self-sufficientfellow,withdarkhairandsallowcomplexionlikehissister,anosethatseemedtodisdaintheearth,andlittlegreyeyes,frequentlyhalf-

  closed,withamixtureofrealstupidityandaffectedcontemptofallsurroundingobjects。Hewasathick-set,strongly-builtman,buthehadfoundsomemeansofcompressinghiswaistintoaremarkablysmallcompass;andthat,togetherwiththeunnaturalstillnessofhisform,showedthatthelofty-minded,manlyMr。

  Robson,thescornerofthefemalesex,wasnotabovethefopperyofstays。Heseldomdeignedtonoticeme;and,whenhedid,itwaswithacertainsuperciliousinsolenceoftoneandmannerthatconvincedmehewasnogentleman:thoughitwasintendedtohaveacontraryeffect。ButitwasnotforthatIdislikedhiscoming,somuchasfortheharmhedidthechildren-encouragingalltheirevilpropensities,andundoinginafewminutesthelittlegoodithadtakenmemonthsoflabourtoachieve。

  FannyandlittleHarrietheseldomcondescendedtonotice;butMaryAnnwassomethingofafavourite。HewascontinuallyencouraginghertendencytoaffectationwhichIhaddonemyutmosttocrush,talkingaboutherprettyface,andfillingherheadwithallmannerofconceitednotionsconcerningherpersonalappearancewhichI

  hadinstructedhertoregardasdustinthebalancecomparedwiththecultivationofhermindandmanners;andIneversawachildsosusceptibleofflatteryasshewas。Whateverwaswrong,ineitherherorherbrother,hewouldencouragebylaughingat,ifnotbyactuallypraising:peoplelittleknowtheinjurytheydotochildrenbylaughingattheirfaults,andmakingapleasantjestofwhattheirtruefriendshaveendeavouredtoteachthemtoholdingraveabhorrence。

  Thoughnotapositivedrunkard,Mr。Robsonhabituallyswallowedgreatquantitiesofwine,andtookwithrelishanoccasionalglassofbrandyandwater。Hetaughthisnephewtoimitatehiminthistotheutmostofhisability,andtobelievethatthemorewineandspiritshecouldtake,andthebetterhelikedthem,themorehemanifestedhisbold,andmanlyspirit,androsesuperiortohissisters。Mr。Bloomfieldhadnotmuchtosayagainstit,forhisfavouritebeveragewasginandwater;ofwhichhetookaconsiderableportioneveryday,bydintofconstantsipping-andtothatIchieflyattributedhisdingycomplexionandwaspishtemper。

  Mr。RobsonlikewiseencouragedTom\'spropensitytopersecutethelowercreation,bothbypreceptandexample。Ashefrequentlycametocourseorshootoverhisbrother-in-law\'sgrounds,hewouldbringhisfavouritedogswithhim;andhetreatedthemsobrutallythat,poorasIwas,Iwouldhavegivenasovereignanydaytoseeoneofthembitehim,providedtheanimalcouldhavedoneitwithimpunity。Sometimes,wheninaverycomplacentmood,hewouldgoa-birds\'-nestingwiththechildren,athingthatirritatedandannoyedmeexceedingly;as,byfrequentandperseveringattempts,I

  flatteredmyselfIhadpartlyshownthemtheevilofthispastime,andhoped,intime,tobringthemtosomegeneralsenseofjusticeandhumanity;buttenminutes\'birds\'-nestingwithuncleRobson,orevenalaughfromhimatsomerelationoftheirformerbarbarities,wassufficientatoncetodestroytheeffectofmywholeelaboratecourseofreasoningandpersuasion。Happily,however,duringthatspring,theynever,butonce,gotanythingbutemptynests,oreggs-beingtooimpatienttoleavethemtillthebirdswerehatched;

  thatonce,Tom,whohadbeenwithhisuncleintotheneighbouringplantation,camerunninginhighgleeintothegarden,withabroodoflittlecallownestlingsinhishands。MaryAnnandFanny,whomIwasjustbringingout,rantoadmirehisspoils,andtobegeachabirdforthemselves。\'No,notone!\'criedTom。\'They\'reallmine;uncleRobsongavethemtome-one,two,three,four,five-

  youshan\'ttouchoneofthem!no,notone,foryourlives!\'

  continuedhe,exultingly;layingthenestontheground,andstandingoveritwithhislegswideapart,hishandsthrustintohisbreeches-pockets,hisbodybentforward,andhisfacetwistedintoallmannerofcontortionsintheecstasyofhisdelight。

  \'Butyoushallseemefettle\'emoff。Myword,butIWILLwallop\'em?SeeifIdon\'tnow。Bygum!butthere\'sraresportformeinthatnest。\'

  \'But,Tom,\'saidI,\'Ishallnotallowyoutotorturethosebirds。

  Theymusteitherbekilledatonceorcarriedbacktotheplaceyoutookthemfrom,thattheoldbirdsmaycontinuetofeedthem。\'

  \'Butyoudon\'tknowwherethatis,Madam:it\'sonlymeanduncleRobsonthatknowsthat。\'

  \'Butifyoudon\'ttellme,Ishallkillthemmyself-muchasI

  hateit。\'

  \'Youdaren\'t。Youdaren\'ttouchthemforyourlife!becauseyouknowpapaandmamma,anduncleRobson,wouldbeangry。Ha,ha!

  I\'vecaughtyouthere,Miss!\'

  \'IshalldowhatIthinkrightinacaseofthissortwithoutconsultinganyone。Ifyourpapaandmammadon\'thappentoapproveofit,Ishallbesorrytooffendthem;butyouruncleRobson\'sopinions,ofcourse,arenothingtome。\'

  Sosaying-urgedbyasenseofduty-attheriskofbothmakingmyselfsickandincurringthewrathofmyemployers-Igotalargeflatstone,thathadbeenrearedupforamouse-trapbythegardener;then,havingoncemorevainlyendeavouredtopersuadethelittletyranttoletthebirdsbecarriedback,Iaskedwhatheintendedtodowiththem。Withfiendishgleehecommencedalistoftorments;andwhilehewasbusiedintherelation,Idroppedthestoneuponhisintendedvictimsandcrushedthemflatbeneathit。

  Loudweretheoutcries,terribletheexecrations,consequentuponthisdaringoutrage;uncleRobsonhadbeencomingupthewalkwithhisgun,andwasjustthenpausingtokickhisdog。Tomflewtowardshim,vowinghewouldmakehimkickmeinsteadofJuno。

  Mr。

  Robsonleantuponhisgun,andlaughedexcessivelyattheviolenceofhisnephew\'spassion,andthebittermaledictionsandopprobriousepithetsheheapeduponme。\'Well,youAREagood\'un!\'exclaimedhe,atlength,takinguphisweaponandproceedingtowardsthehouse。\'Damme,buttheladhassomespunkinhim,too。

  Curseme,ifeverIsawanoblerlittlescoundrelthanthat。He\'sbeyondpetticoatgovernmentalready:byGod!hedefiesmother,granny,governess,andall!Ha,ha,ha!Nevermind,Tom,I\'llgetyouanotherbroodto-morrow。\'

  \'Ifyoudo,Mr。Robson,Ishallkillthemtoo,\'saidI。

  \'Humph!\'repliedhe,andhavinghonouredmewithabroadstare-

  which,contrarytohisexpectations,Isustainedwithoutflinching-heturnedawaywithanairofsupremecontempt,andstalkedintothehouse。Tomnextwenttotellhismamma。Itwasnotherwaytosaymuchonanysubject;but,whenshenextsawme,heraspectanddemeanourweredoublydarkandchilled。Aftersomecasualremarkabouttheweather,sheobserved-\'Iamsorry,MissGrey,youshouldthinkitnecessarytointerferewithMasterBloomfield\'samusements;hewasverymuchdistressedaboutyourdestroyingthebirds。\'

  \'WhenMasterBloomfield\'samusementsconsistininjuringsentientcreatures,\'Ianswered,\'Ithinkitmydutytointerfere。\'

  \'Youseemedtohaveforgotten,\'saidshe,calmly,\'thatthecreatureswereallcreatedforourconvenience。\'

  Ithoughtthatdoctrineadmittedsomedoubt,butmerelyreplied-

  \'Iftheywere,wehavenorighttotormentthemforouramusement。\'

  \'Ithink,\'saidshe,\'achild\'samusementisscarcelytobeweighedagainstthewelfareofasoullessbrute。\'

  \'But,forthechild\'sownsake,itoughtnottobeencouragedtohavesuchamusements,\'answeredI,asmeeklyasIcould,tomakeupforsuchunusualpertinacity。\'\"Blessedarethemerciful,fortheyshallobtainmercy。\"\'

  \'Oh!ofcourse;butthatreferstoourconducttowardseachother。\'

  \'\"Themercifulmanshowsmercytohisbeast,\"\'Iventuredtoadd。

  \'IthinkYOUhavenotshownmuchmercy,\'repliedshe,withashort,bitterlaugh;\'killingthepoorbirdsbywholesaleinthatshockingmanner,andputtingthedearboytosuchmiseryforamerewhim。\'

  Ijudgeditprudenttosaynomore。ThiswasthenearestapproachtoaquarrelIeverhadwithMrs。Bloomfield;aswellasthegreatestnumberofwordsIeverexchangedwithheratonetime,sincethedayofmyfirstarrival。

  ButMr。RobsonandoldMrs。BloomfieldwerenottheonlyguestswhosecomingtoWellwoodHouseannoyedme;everyvisitordisturbedmemoreorless;notsomuchbecausetheyneglectedmethoughI

  didfeeltheirconductstrangeanddisagreeableinthatrespect,asbecauseIfounditimpossibletokeepmypupilsawayfromthem,asIwasrepeatedlydesiredtodo:Tommusttalktothem,andMaryAnnmustbenoticedbythem。Neithertheonenortheotherknewwhatitwastofeelanydegreeofshamefacedness,orevencommonmodesty。Theywouldindecentlyandclamorouslyinterrupttheconversationoftheirelders,teasethemwiththemostimpertinentquestions,roughlycollarthegentlemen,climbtheirkneesuninvited,hangabouttheirshouldersorrifletheirpockets,pulltheladies\'gowns,disordertheirhair,tumbletheircollars,andimportunatelybegfortheirtrinkets。

  Mrs。Bloomfieldhadthesensetobeshockedandannoyedatallthis,butshehadnotsensetopreventit:sheexpectedmetopreventit。ButhowcouldI-whentheguests,withtheirfineclothesandnewfaces,continuallyflatteredandindulgedthem,outofcomplaisancetotheirparents-howcouldI,withmyhomelygarments,every-dayface,andhonestwords,drawthemaway?I

  strainedeverynervetodoso:bystrivingtoamusethem,I

  endeavouredtoattractthemtomyside;bytheexertionofsuchauthorityasIpossessed,andbysuchseverityasIdaredtouse,I

  triedtodeterthemfromtormentingtheguests;andbyreproachingtheirunmannerlyconduct,tomakethemashamedtorepeatit。Buttheyknewnoshame;theyscornedauthoritywhichhadnoterrorstobackit;andasforkindnessandaffection,eithertheyhadnohearts,orsuchastheyhadweresostronglyguarded,andsowellconcealed,thatI,withallmyefforts,hadnotyetdiscoveredhowtoreachthem。

  Butsoonmytrialsinthisquartercametoaclose-soonerthanI

  eitherexpectedordesired;foronesweeteveningtowardsthecloseofMay,asIwasrejoicinginthenearapproachoftheholidays,andcongratulatingmyselfuponhavingmadesomeprogresswithmypupilsasfarastheirlearningwent,atleast,forIHAD

  instilledSOMETHINGintotheirheads,andIhad,atlength,broughtthemtobealittle-averylittle-morerationalaboutgettingtheirlessonsdoneintimetoleavesomespaceforrecreation,insteadoftormentingthemselvesandmealldaylongtonopurpose,Mrs。Bloomfieldsentforme,andcalmlytoldmethatafterMidsummermyserviceswouldbenolongerrequired。Sheassuredmethatmycharacterandgeneralconductwereunexceptionable;butthechildrenhadmadesolittleimprovementsincemyarrivalthatMr。Bloomfieldandshefeltittheirdutytoseeksomeothermodeofinstruction。Thoughsuperiortomostchildrenoftheiryearsinabilities,theyweredecidedlybehindtheminattainments;theirmannerswereuncultivated,andtheirtempersunruly。Andthissheattributedtoawantofsufficientfirmness,anddiligent,perseveringcareonmypart。

  Unshakenfirmness,devoteddiligence,unweariedperseverance,unceasingcare,weretheveryqualificationsonwhichIhadsecretlypridedmyself;andbywhichIhadhopedintimetoovercomealldifficulties,andobtainsuccessatlast。Iwishedtosaysomethinginmyownjustification;butinattemptingtospeak,Ifeltmyvoicefalter;andratherthantestifyanyemotion,orsufferthetearstooverflowthatwerealreadygatheringinmyeyes,Ichosetokeepsilence,andbearalllikeaself-convictedculprit。

  ThuswasIdismissed,andthusIsoughtmyhome。Alas!whatwouldtheythinkofme?unable,afterallmyboasting,tokeepmyplace,evenforasingleyear,asgovernesstothreesmallchildren,whosemotherwasassertedbymyownaunttobea\'verynicewoman。\'

  Havingbeenthusweighedinthebalanceandfoundwanting,Ineednothopetheywouldbewillingtotrymeagain。Andthiswasanunwelcomethought;forvexed,harassed,disappointedasIhadbeen,andgreatlyasIhadlearnedtoloveandvaluemyhome,Iwasnotyetwearyofadventure,norwillingtorelaxmyefforts。IknewthatallparentswerenotlikeMr。andMrs。Bloomfield,andIwascertainallchildrenwerenotliketheirs。Thenextfamilymustbedifferent,andanychangemustbeforthebetter。Ihadbeenseasonedbyadversity,andtutoredbyexperience,andIlongedtoredeemmylosthonourintheeyesofthosewhoseopinionwasmorethanthatofalltheworldtome。

  chapter06

  CHAPTERVI-THEPARSONAGEAGAIN

  FORafewmonthsIremainedpeaceablyathome,inthequietenjoymentoflibertyandrest,andgenuinefriendship,fromallofwhichIhadfastedsolong;andintheearnestprosecutionofmystudies,torecoverwhatIhadlostduringmystayatWellwoodHouse,andtolayinnewstoresforfutureuse。Myfather\'shealthwasstillveryinfirm,butnotmateriallyworsethanwhenIlastsawhim;andIwasgladIhaditinmypowertocheerhimbymyreturn,andtoamusehimwithsinginghisfavouritesongs。

  Noonetriumphedovermyfailure,orsaidIhadbetterhavetakenhisorheradvice,andquietlystayedathome。Allweregladtohavemebackagain,andlavishedmorekindnessthaneveruponme,tomakeupforthesufferingsIhadundergone;butnotonewouldtouchashillingofwhatIhadsocheerfullyearnedandsocarefullysaved,inthehopeofsharingitwiththem。Bydintofpinchinghere,andscrapingthere,ourdebtswerealreadynearlypaid。Maryhadhadgoodsuccesswithherdrawings;butourfatherhadinsisteduponHERlikewisekeepingalltheproduceofherindustrytoherself。Allwecouldsparefromthesupplyofourhumblewardrobeandourlittlecasualexpenses,hedirectedustoputintothesavings\'-bank;saying,weknewnothowsoonwemightbedependentonthataloneforsupport:forhefelthehadnotlongtobewithus,andwhatwouldbecomeofourmotheranduswhenhewasgone,Godonlyknew!

  Dearpapa!ifhehadtroubledhimselflessabouttheafflictionsthatthreatenedusincaseofhisdeath,Iamconvincedthatdreadedeventwouldnothavetakenplacesosoon。Mymotherwouldneversufferhimtoponderonthesubjectifshecouldhelpit。

  \'Oh,Richard!\'exclaimedshe,ononeoccasion,\'ifyouwouldbutdismisssuchgloomysubjectsfromyourmind,youwouldliveaslongasanyofus;atleastyouwouldlivetoseethegirlsmarried,andyourselfahappygrandfather,withacantyolddameforyourcompanion。\'

  Mymotherlaughed,andsodidmyfather:buthislaughsoonperishedinadrearysigh。

  \'THEYmarried-poorpennilessthings!\'saidhe;\'whowilltakethemIwonder!\'

  \'Why,nobodyshallthatisn\'tthankfulforthem。Wasn\'tI

  pennilesswhenyoutookme?andyouPRETENDED,atleast,tobevastlypleasedwithyouracquisition。Butit\'snomatterwhethertheygetmarriedornot:wecandeviseathousandhonestwaysofmakingalivelihood。AndIwonder,Richard,youcanthinkofbotheringyourheadaboutourPOVERTYincaseofyourdeath;asifTHATwouldbeanythingcomparedwiththecalamityoflosingyou-

  anafflictionthatyouwellknowwouldswallowupallothers,andwhichyououghttodoyourutmosttopreserveusfrom:andthereisnothinglikeacheerfulmindforkeepingthebodyinhealth。\'

  \'Iknow,Alice,itiswrongtokeeprepiningasIdo,butIcannothelpit:youmustbearwithme。\'

  \'IWON\'Tbearwithyou,ifIcanalteryou,\'repliedmymother:

  buttheharshnessofherwordswasundonebytheearnestaffectionofhertoneandpleasantsmile,thatmademyfathersmileagain,lesssadlyandlesstransientlythanwashiswont。

  \'Mamma,\'saidI,assoonasIcouldfindanopportunityofspeakingwithheralone,\'mymoneyisbutlittle,andcannotlastlong;ifI

  couldincreaseit,itwouldlessenpapa\'sanxiety,ononesubjectatleast。IcannotdrawlikeMary,andsothebestthingIcoulddowouldbetolookoutforanothersituation。\'

  \'Andsoyouwouldactuallytryagain,Agnes?\'

  \'Decidedly,Iwould。\'

  \'Why,mydear,Ishouldhavethoughtyouhadhadenoughofit。\'

  \'Iknow,\'saidI,\'everybodyisnotlikeMr。andMrs。Bloomfield-

  \'

  \'Someareworse,\'interruptedmymother。

  \'Butnotmany,Ithink,\'repliedI,\'andI\'msureallchildrenarenotliketheirs;forIandMarywerenot:wealwaysdidasyoubidus,didn\'twe?\'

  \'Generally:butthen,Ididnotspoilyou;andyouwerenotperfectangelsafterall:Maryhadafundofquietobstinacy,andyouweresomewhatfaultyinregardtotemper;butyouwereverygoodchildrenonthewhole。\'

  \'IknowIwassulkysometimes,andIshouldhavebeengladtoseethesechildrensulkysometimestoo;forthenIcouldhaveunderstoodthem:buttheyneverwere,fortheyCOULDnotbeoffended,norhurt,norashamed:theycouldnotbeunhappyinanyway,exceptwhentheywereinapassion。\'

  \'Well,iftheyCOULDnot,itwasnottheirfault:youcannotexpectstonetobeaspliableasclay。\'

  \'No,butstillitisveryunpleasanttolivewithsuchunimpressible,incomprehensiblecreatures。Youcannotlovethem;

  andifyoucould,yourlovewouldbeutterlythrownaway:theycouldneitherreturnit,norvalue,norunderstandit。But,however,evenifIshouldstumbleonsuchafamilyagain,whichisquiteunlikely,Ihaveallthisexperiencetobeginwith,andI

  shouldmanagebetteranothertime;andtheendandaimofthispreambleis,letmetryagain。\'

  \'Well,mygirl,youarenoteasilydiscouraged,Isee:Iamgladofthat。But,letmetellyou,youareagooddealpalerandthinnerthanwhenyoufirstlefthome;andwecannothaveyouunderminingyourhealthtohoardupmoneyeitherforyourselforothers。\'

  \'MarytellsmeIamchangedtoo;andIdon\'tmuchwonderatit,forIwasinaconstantstateofagitationandanxietyalldaylong:

  butnexttimeIamdeterminedtotakethingscoolly。\'

  Aftersomefurtherdiscussion,mymotherpromisedoncemoretoassistme,providedIwouldwaitandbepatient;andIlefthertobroachthemattertomyfather,whenandhowshedeemeditmostadvisable:neverdoubtingherabilitytoobtainhisconsent。

  Meantime,Isearched,withgreatinterest,theadvertisingcolumnsofthenewspapers,andwroteanswerstoevery\'WantedaGoverness\'

  thatappearedatalleligible;butallmyletters,aswellasthereplies,whenIgotany,weredutifullyshowntomymother;andshe,tomychagrin,mademerejectthesituationsoneafteranother:thesewerelowpeople,theseweretooexactingintheirdemands,andthesetooniggardlyintheirremuneration。

  \'Yourtalentsarenotsuchaseverypoorclergyman\'sdaughterpossesses,Agnes,\'shewouldsay,\'andyoumustnotthrowthemaway。Remember,youpromisedtobepatient:thereisnoneedofhurry:youhaveplentyoftimebeforeyou,andmayhavemanychancesyet。\'

  Atlength,sheadvisedmetoputanadvertisement,myself,inthepaper,statingmyqualifications,&c。

  \'Music,singing,drawing,French,Latin,andGerman,\'saidshe,\'arenomeanassemblage:manywillbegladtohavesomuchinoneinstructor;andthistime,youshalltryyourfortuneinasomewhathigherfamilyinthatofsomegenuine,thoroughbredgentleman;forsucharefarmorelikelytotreatyouwithproperrespectandconsiderationthanthosepurse-proudtradespeopleandarrogantupstarts。Ihaveknownseveralamongthehigherrankswhotreatedtheirgovernessesquiteasoneofthefamily;thoughsome,Iallow,areasinsolentandexactingasanyoneelsecanbe:fortherearebadandgoodinallclasses。\'

  Theadvertisementwasquicklywrittenanddespatched。Ofthetwopartieswhoansweredit,butonewouldconsenttogivemefiftypounds,thesummymotherbademenameasthesalaryIshouldrequire;andhere,Ihesitatedaboutengagingmyself,asIfearedthechildrenwouldbetooold,andtheirparentswouldrequiresomeonemoreshowy,ormoreexperienced,ifnotmoreaccomplishedthanI。Butmymotherdissuadedmefromdecliningitonthataccount:

  Ishoulddovastlywell,shesaid,ifIwouldonlythrowasidemydiffidence,andacquirealittlemoreconfidenceinmyself。I

  wasjusttogiveaplain,truestatementofmyacquirementsandqualifications,andnamewhatstipulationsIchosetomake,andthenawaittheresult。TheonlystipulationIventuredtopropose,wasthatImightbeallowedtwomonths\'holidaysduringtheyeartovisitmyfriends,atMidsummerandChristmas。Theunknownlady,inherreply,madenoobjectiontothis,andstatedthat,astomyacquirements,shehadnodoubtIshouldbeabletogivesatisfaction;butintheengagementofgovernessessheconsideredthosethingsasbutsubordinatepoints;asbeingsituatedintheneighbourhoodofO-,shecouldgetmasterstosupplyanydeficienciesinthatrespect:but,inheropinion,nexttounimpeachablemorality,amildandcheerfultemperandobligingdispositionwerethemostessentialrequisities。

  Mymotherdidnotrelishthisatall,andnowmademanyobjectionstomyacceptingthesituation;inwhichmysisterwarmlysupportedher:but,unwillingtobebalkedagain,Ioverruledthemall;

  and,havingfirstobtainedtheconsentofmyfatherwhohad,ashorttimepreviously,beenapprisedofthesetransactions,Iwroteamostobligingepistletomyunknowncorrespondent,and,finally,thebargainwasconcluded。

  ItwasdecreedthatonthelastdayofJanuaryIwastoenteruponmynewofficeasgovernessinthefamilyofMr。Murray,ofHortonLodge,nearO-,aboutseventymilesfromourvillage:aformidabledistancetome,asIhadneverbeenabovetwentymilesfromhomeinallthecourseofmytwentyyears\'sojournonearth;andas,moreover,everyindividualinthatfamilyandintheneighbourhoodwasutterlyunknowntomyselfandallmyacquaintances。Butthisrendereditonlythemorepiquanttome。Ihadnow,insomemeasure,gotridoftheMAUVAISEHONTEthathadformerlyoppressedmesomuch;therewasapleasingexcitementintheideaofenteringtheseunknownregions,andmakingmywayaloneamongitsstrangeinhabitants。InowflatteredmyselfIwasgoingtoseesomethingintheworld:Mr。Murray\'sresidencewasnearalargetown,andnotinamanufacturingdistrict,wherethepeoplehadnothingtodobuttomakemoney;hisrankfromwhatIcouldgather,appearedtobehigherthanthatofMr。Bloomfield;and,doubtless,hewasoneofthosegenuinethorough-bredgentrymymotherspokeof,whowouldtreathisgovernesswithdueconsiderationasarespectablewell-

  educatedlady,theinstructorandguideofhischildren,andnotamereupperservant。Then,mypupilsbeingolder,wouldbemorerational,moreteachable,andlesstroublesomethanthelast;theywouldbelessconfinedtotheschoolroom,andnotrequirethatconstantlabourandincessantwatching;and,finally,brightvisionsmingledwithmyhopes,withwhichthecareofchildrenandthemeredutiesofagovernesshadlittleornothingtodo。Thus,thereaderwillseethatIhadnoclaimtoberegardedasamartyrtofilialpiety,goingforthtosacrificepeaceandlibertyforthesolepurposeoflayingupstoresforthecomfortandsupportofmyparents:thoughcertainlythecomfortofmyfather,andthefuturesupportofmymother,hadalargeshareinmycalculations;andfiftypoundsappearedtomenoordinarysum。Imusthavedecentclothesbecomingmystation;Imust,itseemed,putoutmywashing,andalsopayformyfourannualjourneysbetweenHortonLodgeandhome;butwithstrictattentiontoeconomy,surelytwentypounds,orlittlemore,wouldcoverthoseexpenses,andthentherewouldbethirtyforthebank,orlittleless:whatavaluableadditiontoourstock!Oh,Imuststruggletokeepthissituation,whateveritmightbe!bothformyownhonouramongmyfriendsandforthesolidservicesImightrenderthembymycontinuancethere。

  chapter07

  CHAPTERVII-HORTONLODGE

  THE31stofJanuarywasawild,tempestuousday:therewasastrongnorthwind,withacontinualstormofsnowdriftingonthegroundandwhirlingthroughtheair。Myfriendswouldhavehadmedelaymydeparture,butfearfulofprejudicingmyemployersagainstmebysuchwantofpunctualityatthecommencementofmyundertaking,Ipersistedinkeepingtheappointment。

  Iwillnotinflictuponmyreadersanaccountofmyleavinghomeonthatdarkwintermorning:thefondfarewells,thelong,longjourneytoO-,thesolitarywaitingsininnsforcoachesortrains-forthereweresomerailwaysthen-and,finally,themeetingatO-withMr。Murray\'sservant,whohadbeensentwiththephaetontodrivemefromthencetoHortonLodge。Iwilljuststatethattheheavysnowhadthrownsuchimpedimentsinthewayofbothhorsesandsteam-engines,thatitwasdarksomehoursbeforeIreachedmyjourney\'send,andthatamostbewilderingstormcameonatlast,whichmadethefewmiles\'spacebetweenO-andHortonLodgealongandformidablepassage。Isatresigned,withthecold,sharpsnowdriftingthroughmyveilandfillingmylap,seeingnothing,andwonderinghowtheunfortunatehorseanddrivercouldmaketheirwayevenaswellastheydid;andindeeditwasbutatoilsome,creepingstyleofprogression,tosaythebestofit。Atlengthwepaused;and,atthecallofthedriver,someoneunlatchedandrolledbackupontheircreakinghingeswhatappearedtobetheparkgates。Thenweproceededalongasmootherroad,whence,occasionally,Iperceivedsomehuge,hoarymassgleamingthroughthedarkness,whichItooktobeaportionofasnow-cladtree。

  Afteraconsiderabletimewepausedagain,beforethestatelyporticoofalargehousewithlongwindowsdescendingtotheground。

  Irosewithsomedifficultyfromunderthesuperincumbentsnowdrift,andalightedfromthecarriage,expectingthatakindandhospitablereceptionwouldindemnifymeforthetoilsandhardshipsoftheday。Agentlemanpersoninblackopenedthedoor,andadmittedmeintoaspacioushall,lightedbyanamber-colouredlampsuspendedfromtheceiling;heledmethroughthis,alongapassage,andopeningthedoorofabackroom,toldmethatwastheschoolroom。Ientered,andfoundtwoyoungladiesandtwoyounggentlemen-myfuturepupils,Isupposed。Afteraformalgreeting,theeldergirl,whowastriflingoverapieceofcanvasandabasketofGermanwools,askedifIshouldliketogoupstairs。

  I

  repliedintheaffirmative,ofcourse。

  \'Matilda,takeacandle,andshowherherroom,\'saidshe。

  MissMatilda,astrappinghoydenofaboutfourteen,withashortfrockandtrousers,shruggedhershouldersandmadeaslightgrimace,buttookacandleandproceededbeforemeupthebackstairsalong,steep,doubleflight,andthroughalong,narrowpassage,toasmallbuttolerablycomfortableroom。ShethenaskedmeifIwouldtakesometeaorcoffee。IwasabouttoanswerNo;

  butrememberingthatIhadtakennothingsinceseveno\'clockthatmorning,andfeelingfaintinconsequence,IsaidIwouldtakeacupoftea。Sayingshewouldtell\'Brown,\'theyoungladydeparted;andbythetimeIhaddivestedmyselfofmyheavy,wetcloak,shawl,bonnet,&c。,amincingdamselcametosaytheyoungladiesdesiredtoknowwhetherIwouldtakemyteaupthereorintheschoolroom。UnderthepleaoffatigueIchosetotakeitthere。Shewithdrew;and,afterawhile,returnedagainwithasmalltea-tray,andplaceditonthechestofdrawers,whichservedasadressing-table。Havingcivillythankedher,IaskedatwhattimeIshouldbeexpectedtoriseinthemorning。

  \'Theyoungladiesandgentlemenbreakfastathalf-pasteight,ma\'am,\'saidshe;\'theyriseearly;but,astheyseldomdoanylessonsbeforebreakfast,Ishouldthinkitwilldoifyourisesoonafterseven。\'

  Idesiredhertobesokindastocallmeatseven,and,promisingtodoso,shewithdrew。Then,havingbrokenmylongfastonacupofteaandalittlethinbreadandbutter,Isatdownbesidethesmall,smoulderingfire,andamusedmyselfwithaheartyfitofcrying;afterwhich,Isaidmyprayers,andthen,feelingconsiderablyrelieved,begantoprepareforbed。Findingthatnoneofmyluggagewasbroughtup,Iinstitutedasearchforthebell;

  andfailingtodiscoveranysignsofsuchaconvenienceinanycorneroftheroom,Itookmycandleandventuredthroughthelongpassage,anddownthesteepstairs,onavoyageofdiscovery。

  Meetingawell-dressedfemaleontheway,ItoldherwhatIwanted;

  butnotwithoutconsiderablehesitation,asIwasnotquitesurewhetheritwasoneoftheupperservants,orMrs。Murrayherself:

  ithappened,however,tobethelady\'s-maid。Withtheairofoneconferringanunusualfavour,shevouchsafedtoundertakethesendingupofmythings;andwhenIhadre-enteredmyroom,andwaitedandwonderedalongtimegreatlyfearingthatshehadforgottenorneglectedtoperformherpromise,anddoubtingwhethertokeepwaitingorgotobed,orgodownagain,myhopes,atlength,wererevivedbythesoundofvoicesandlaughter,accompaniedbythetrampoffeetalongthepassage;andpresentlytheluggagewasbroughtinbyarough-lookingmaidandaman,neitherofthemveryrespectfulintheirdemeanourtome。Havingshutthedoorupontheirretiringfootsteps,andunpackedafewofmythings,Ibetookmyselftorest;gladlyenough,forIwaswearyinbodyandmind。

  Itwaswithastrangefeelingofdesolation,mingledwithastrongsenseofthenoveltyofmysituation,andajoylesskindofcuriosityconcerningwhatwasyetunknown,thatIawokethenextmorning;feelinglikeonewhirledawaybyenchantment,andsuddenlydroppedfromthecloudsintoaremoteandunknownland,widelyandcompletelyisolatedfromallhehadeverseenorknownbefore;orlikeathistle-seedborneonthewindtosomestrangenookofuncongenialsoil,whereitmustlielongenoughbeforeitcantakerootandgerminate,extractingnourishmentfromwhatappearssoalientoitsnature:if,indeed,itevercan。Butthisgivesnoproperideaofmyfeelingsatall;andnoonethathasnotlivedsucharetired,stationarylifeasmine,canpossiblyimaginewhattheywere:hardlyevenifhehasknownwhatitistoawakesomemorning,andfindhimselfinPortNelson,inNewZealand,withaworldofwatersbetweenhimselfandallthatknewhim。

  IshallnotsoonforgetthepeculiarfeelingwithwhichIraisedmyblindandlookedoutupontheunknownworld:awide,whitewildernesswasallthatmetmygaze;awasteofDesertstossedinsnow,Andheavyladengroves。

  Idescendedtotheschoolroomwithnoremarkableeagernesstojoinmypupils,thoughnotwithoutsomefeelingofcuriosityrespectingwhatafurtheracquaintancewouldreveal。Onething,amongothersofmoreobviousimportance,Ideterminedwithmyself-ImustbeginwithcallingthemMissandMaster。Itseemedtomeachillingandunnaturalpieceofpunctiliobetweenthechildrenofafamilyandtheirinstructoranddailycompanion;especiallywheretheformerwereintheirearlychildhood,asatWellwoodHouse;buteventhere,mycallingthelittleBloomfieldsbytheirsimplenameshadbeenregardedasanoffensiveliberty:astheirparentshadtakencaretoshowme,bycarefullydesignatingthemMASTERandMISS

  Bloomfield,&c。,inspeakingtome。Ihadbeenveryslowtotakethehint,becausethewholeaffairstruckmeassoveryabsurd;butnowIdeterminedtobewiser,andbeginatoncewithasmuchformandceremonyasanymemberofthefamilywouldbelikelytorequire:and,indeed,thechildrenbeingsomucholder,therewouldbelessdifficulty;thoughthelittlewordsMissandMasterseemedtohaveasurprisingeffectinrepressingallfamiliar,open-heartedkindness,andextinguishingeverygleamofcordialitythatmightarisebetweenus。

  AsIcannot,likeDogberry,finditinmyhearttobestowallmytediousnessuponthereader,Iwillnotgoontoborehimwithaminutedetailofallthediscoveriesandproceedingsofthisandthefollowingday。Nodoubthewillbeamplysatisfiedwithaslightsketchofthedifferentmembersofthefamily,andageneralviewofthefirstyearortwoofmysojournamongthem。

  Tobeginwiththehead:Mr。Murraywas,byallaccounts,ablustering,roystering,countrysquire:adevotedfox-hunter,askilfulhorse-jockeyandfarrier,anactive,practicalfarmer,andaheartyBONVIVANT。Byallaccounts,Isay;for,exceptonSundays,whenhewenttochurch,Ineversawhimfrommonthtomonth:unless,incrossingthehallorwalkinginthegrounds,thefigureofatall,stoutgentleman,withscarletcheeksandcrimsonnose,happenedtocomeacrossme;onwhichoccasions,ifhepassednearenoughtospeak,anunceremoniousnod,accompaniedbya\'Morning,MissGrey,\'orsomesuchbriefsalutation,wasusuallyvouchsafed。Frequently,indeed,hisloudlaughreachedmefromafar;andoftenerstillIheardhimswearingandblasphemingagainstthefootmen,groom,coachman,orsomeotherhaplessdependant。

  Mrs。Murraywasahandsome,dashingladyofforty,whocertainlyrequiredneitherrougenorpaddingtoaddtohercharms;andwhosechiefenjoymentswere,orseemedtobe,ingivingorfrequentingparties,andindressingattheverytopofthefashion。Ididnotseehertilleleveno\'clockonthemorningaftermyarrival;whenshehonouredmewithavisit,justasmymothermightstepintothekitchentoseeanewservant-girl:yetnotso,either,formymotherwouldhaveseenherimmediatelyafterherarrival,andnotwaitedtillthenextday;and,moreover,shewouldhaveaddressedherinamorekindandfriendlymanner,andgivenhersomewordsofcomfortaswellasaplainexpositionofherduties;butMrs。

  Murraydidneithertheonenortheother。Shejuststeppedintotheschoolroomonherreturnfromorderingdinnerinthehousekeeper\'sroom,bademegood-morning,stoodfortwominutesbythefire,saidafewwordsabouttheweatherandthe\'ratherrough\'

  journeyImusthavehadyesterday;pettedheryoungestchild-aboyoften-whohadjustbeenwipinghismouthandhandsonhergown,afterindulginginsomesavourymorselfromthehouse-

  keeper\'sstore;toldmewhatasweet,goodboyhewas;andthensailedout,withaself-complacentsmileuponherface:thinking,nodoubt,thatshehaddonequiteenoughforthepresent,andhadbeendelightfullycondescendingintothebargain。Herchildrenevidentlyheldthesameopinion,andIalonethoughtotherwise。

  Afterthisshelookedinuponmeonceortwice,duringtheabsenceofmypupils,toenlightenmeconcerningmydutiestowardsthem。

  Forthegirlssheseemedanxiousonlytorenderthemassuperficiallyattractiveandshowilyaccomplishedastheycouldpossiblybemade,withoutpresenttroubleordiscomforttothemselves;andIwastoactaccordingly-tostudyandstrivetoamuseandoblige,instruct,refine,andpolish,withtheleastpossibleexertionontheirpart,andnoexerciseofauthorityonmine。Withregardtothetwoboys,itwasmuchthesame;onlyinsteadofaccomplishments,IwastogetthegreatestpossiblequantityofLatingrammarandValpy\'sDelectusintotheirheads,inordertofitthemforschool-thegreatestpossiblequantityatleastWITHOUTtroubletothemselves。Johnmightbea\'littlehigh-

  spirited,\'andCharlesmightbealittle\'nervousandtedious-\'

  \'Butatallevents,MissGrey,\'saidshe,\'IhopeYOUwillkeepyourtemper,andbemildandpatientthroughout;especiallywiththedearlittleCharles;heissoextremelynervousandsusceptible,andsoutterlyunaccustomedtoanythingbutthetenderesttreatment。Youwillexcusemynamingthesethingstoyou;forthefactis,Ihavehithertofoundallthegovernesses,eventheverybestofthem,faultyinthisparticular。Theywantedthatmeekandquietspirit,whichSt。Matthew,orsomeofthem,saysisbetterthantheputtingonofapparel-youwillknowthepassagetowhichIallude,foryouareaclergyman\'sdaughter。

  ButIhavenodoubtyouwillgivesatisfactioninthisrespectaswellastherest。Andremember,onalloccasions,whenanyoftheyoungpeopledoanythingimproper,ifpersuasionandgentleremonstrancewillnotdo,letoneoftheotherscomeandtellme;forIcanspeaktothemmoreplainlythanitwouldbeproperforyoutodo。

  Andmakethemashappyasyoucan,MissGrey,andIdaresayyouwilldoverywell。\'

  IobservedthatwhileMrs。Murraywassoextremelysolicitousforthecomfortandhappinessofherchildren,andcontinuallytalkingaboutit,sheneveroncementionedmine;thoughtheywereathome,surroundedbyfriends,andIanalienamongstrangers;andIdidnotyetknowenoughoftheworld,nottobeconsiderablysurprisedatthisanomaly。

  MissMurray,otherwiseRosalie,wasaboutsixteenwhenIcame,anddecidedlyaveryprettygirl;andintwoyearslonger,astimemorecompletelydevelopedherformandaddedgracetohercarriageanddeportment,shebecamepositivelybeautiful;andthatinnocommondegree。Shewastallandslender,yetnotthin;perfectlyformed,exquisitelyfair,thoughnotwithoutabrilliant,healthybloom;

  herhair,whichsheworeinaprofusionoflongringlets,wasofaverylightbrownincliningtoyellow;hereyeswerepaleblue,butsoclearandbrightthatfewwouldwishthemdarker;therestofherfeaturesweresmall,notquiteregular,andnotremarkablyotherwise:butaltogetheryoucouldnothesitatetopronounceheraverylovelygirl。IwishIcouldsayasmuchformindanddispositionasIcanforherformandface。

  YetthinknotIhaveanydreadfuldisclosurestomake:shewaslively,light-hearted,andcouldbeveryagreeable,withthosewhodidnotcrossherwill。Towardsme,whenIfirstcame,shewascoldandhaughty,theninsolentandoverbearing;but,onafurtheracquaintance,shegraduallylaidasideherairs,andintimebecameasdeeplyattachedtomeasitwaspossibleforHERtobetooneofmycharacterandposition:forsheseldomlostsight,forabovehalfanhouratatime,ofthefactofmybeingahirelingandapoorcurate\'sdaughter。Andyet,uponthewhole,Ibelievesherespectedmemorethansheherselfwasawareof;becauseIwastheonlypersoninthehousewhosteadilyprofessedgoodprinciples,habituallyspokethetruth,andgenerallyendeavouredtomakeinclinationbowtoduty;andthisIsay,not,ofcourse,incommendationofmyself,buttoshowtheunfortunatestateofthefamilytowhichmyserviceswere,forthepresent,devoted。TherewasnomemberofitinwhomIregrettedthissadwantofprinciplesomuchasMissMurrayherself;notonlybecauseshehadtakenafancytome,butbecausetherewassomuchofwhatwaspleasantandprepossessinginherself,that,inspiteofherfailings,Ireallylikedher-whenshedidnotrousemyindignation,orrufflemytemperbyTOOgreatadisplayofherfaults。These,however,I

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