shallprayforhim。But，ah，Iknowhowlittleprayersavailtoavertthesecruelbereavements。\"Shewasyoung，butoldenoughtohaveprayedhardforhersickmother\'slife，and，liketherestofus，prayedinvain。Atthisremembrancethetearsranundisguiseddownhercheeks。
Theopensympathyofonesoyoungandbeautiful，andwithalratherreserved，madeLordUxmoorgulp，and，nottobreakdownbeforethemall，heblurtedoutthathemustgoandpack:withthishehurriedaway。
Hewasunhappy。Besidesthecalamityhedreaded，itwasgrievoustobetornawayfromawomanhelovedatfirstsight，andjustwhenshehadcomeoutsoworthyofhislove:shewasahigh-mindedcreature；shehadbeensilentandreservedsolongastheconversationwastrivial；but，whentroublecame，shewastheonetospeaktohimbravelyandkindly。
Well，whatmustbe，must。Allthisranthroughhismind，andmadehimsigh；butitneveroccurredtohimtoshirk——totelegraphinsteadofgoing——noryettovaluehimselfonhisself-denial。
Theydidnotseehimagaintillhewasonthepointofgoing，andthenhetookleaveofthemall，Zoelast。Whenhecametoher，heignoredtheothers，exceptthatheloweredhisvoiceinspeakingtoher。\"Godblessyouforyourkindness，MissVizard。Itisalittleharduponafellowtohavetorunawayfromsuchanacquaintance，justwhenIhavebeensofortunateastomakeit。\"
\"Oh，LordUxmoor，\"saidZoe，innocently，\"nevermindthat。Why，weliveinthesamecounty，andweareonthewayhome。AllIthinkofisyourpoorfriend；anddopleasetelegraph——toHarrington。\"
Hepromisedhewould，andwentawaydisappointedsomehowatherlastwords。
Whenhewasgone，Severnewentoutonthebalconytosmoke，andHarringtonheldacouncilwiththeyoungladies。\"Well，now，\"saidhe，\"aboutthistriptothelake。\"
\"Ishallnotgo，forone，\"saidZoe，resolutely。
\"La!\"saidFanny，lookingcarefullyawayfromhertoHarrington；\"andshewastheonethatinsisted。\"
ZoeignoredthespeakerandsetherfacestifflytowardHarrington。\"Sheonly_said_thatto_him。\"_
_Fanny。_\"But，unfortunately，earsarenotconfinedtothenoble。\"
_Zoe。_\"Nortonguestothediscreet。\"
BoththeseremarkswereaddressedpointedlytoHarrington。
\"Halloo!\"saidhe，lookingfromoneflaminggirltotheother；\"amItobeashuttlecock，andyourdiscreettonguesthebattledoors?Whatisup?\"
\"Wedon\'tspeak，\"saidthefrankZoe；\"thatisup。\"
\"Why，whatistherow?\"\'
\"Nomatter\"stiffly。
\"Nogreatmatter，I\'llbebound。\'Toll，tollthebell。\'Heregoesonemoreimmortalfriendship——quenchedineternalsilence。\"
Bothladiesbridled。Neitherspoke。
\"Anddeadsilence，asladiesunderstandit，consistsinspeaking_at_oneanotherinsteadof_to。\"_
Noreply。
\"Thatiswell-bredtaciturnity。\"
Noanswer。
\"Thedignifiedreservethatdistinguishesanestrangementfromasquabble。\"
Noreply。
\"Well，Iadmirepermanentsentiments，goodorbad；constantresolves，etc。Yourfriendshiphasnotprovedimmortal；so，nowletusseehowlongyoucanholdspite——SIEVES!\"Thenheaffectedtostart。\"Whatisthis?I
spyarationalcreatureoutonyonderbalcony。Ihastentojoinhim。
\'Birdsofafeather，youknow；\"andwiththathewentouttohisfavorite，\'andneverlookedbehindhim。
Theyoungladies，indignantatthecontemptthebigmanhadpresumedtocastupontheconstantsoulofwoman，turnedtworedfacesandfoursparklingeyestoeachother，withtheinstinctivesympathyofthejointlyinjured；butrememberingintime，turnedsharplyroundagain，andpresentednapes，andsosatsullen。
By-and-byachillingthoughtfelluponthembothatthesamemomentoftime。Themenweregoodfriendsasusual，safe，bysex，fromtiffs，andcoulddowithoutthem；andadulldayimpendedoverthehostilefair。
ThereupontheingeniousFannyresolvedtomakeasplashofsomesortanddisturbstagnation。Shesuddenlycriedout，\"La!andthemanisgoneaway:sowhatistheuse?\"Thisremarkshewascarefultolevelatbarespace。
Zoe，addressingthesameperson——space，towit——inquiredofhimifanybodyinhispartsknewtowhomthisyoungladywasaddressingherself。
\"Toagirlthatistoosensiblenottoseethefollyofquarrelingaboutaman——_whenheisgone，\"_saidFanny。
\"Ifitismeyoumean，\"saidZoestiffly，_\"really_Iam_surprised。_Youforgetweareatdaggersdrawn。\"
\"No，Idon\'t，dear；andpartedforever。\"
Zoesmiledatthatagainstherwill。
\"Zoe!\"penitentially。
\"Frances!\"archly。
\"Comecuddlemequick!\"
Zoewasallroundherneckinamoment，likealacescarf，andtherewasviolentkissing，withatearortwo。
Thentheyputanarmroundeachother\'swaist，andwentallaboutthepremisesintertwinedlikesnakes；andZoegaveFannyhercameobrooch，theonewiththepearlsroundit。
ThepersontowhomVizardfledfromthetongueofbeautywasadelightfultalker:hereadtwoorthreenewspaperseveryday，andrecollectedthebestthings。Now，itisnoteverybodycanrememberathousanddisconnectedfactsandrecallthemapropos。Hewasvarious，fluent，and，aboveall，superficial；andsuchareyourbestconversers。Theyhavesomethinggoodandstrictlyephemeraltosayoneverything，anddon\'tknowenoughofanythingtoimpaletheirhearers。InmyyouththeretalkedinPallMallagentlemanknownas\"ConversationSharpe。\"Heeclipsedeverybody。EvenMacaulaypaled。Sharpetalkedalltheblessedafternoon，andgravemenlistened，enchanted；and，ofallhesaid，nothingstuck。
WherebenowyourSharpiana?Thelearnedmaybecomparedtomines。ThesedesultorycharmersaremoreliketheornamentalcottagenearStaines，fortyorfiftyrooms，andthewholestructureonestoryhigh。Themineteemswithsolidwealth；butyoumustgropeandtroubletocometoit:itiseasierandpleasantertorunaboutthecottagewithalotofrooms。
allontheground-floor。
Themindandbodybothgetintohabits——sometimesapart，sometimesinconjunction。Nowadaysweseatthebodytoworktheintellect，eveninitslowerformofmechanicallabor:itisyourclodthattoddlesaboutlaboring。ThePeripateticsdidnotendure:theirmethodwasnotsuitedtoman\'smicrocosm。Bodilymovementsfrittermentalattention。We_sit_atthefeetofGamaliel，or，assomecallhim，Tyndal；andwesittoBaconandAdamSmith。But，whenwearestandingorwalking，welovetotakebrainseasy。Ifthisdelightfulchatterboxhadbeentakendownshorthandandprinted，andVizardhadbeensetdowntoSeverniOpuscula，tenvolumes——and，mindyou，Severnehadtalkedalltenbythistime——theBarfordshiresquireandoldOxonianwouldhavecriedoutfor\"morematterwithlessart，\"andperhapshaveevenfledforrelieftosomeshortertreatise——Bacon\'s\"Essays，\"Browne\'s\"ReligioMedici，\"orBuckle\'s\"Civilization。\"Butlounginginabalcony，andlazilybreathingacloud，hecouldhavelistenedalldaytohisdesultory，delightfulfriend，overflowingwithlittlequestions，littleanswers，littlequeries，littleepigrams，littlemaxims_\'alaRochefoucauld，_littlehistories，littleanecdotes，littlegossip，andlittlesnapshotsateveryfeatherflying。
\"Quicquidagunthomines，votum，timor，ira，voluptas，Gaudia，discursus，nostrifarragoSeverni。\"
But，alas!afteranhouroftouch-and-go，ofsuperficialityandsoftdelight，thedesultorycharmerfellonasubjecthehadstudied。Sothenheboredhiscompanionforthefirsttimeinallthetour。
But，totellthehonesttruth，Mr。Severnehadhithertobeenpleasinghisfriendwithacold-bloodedpurpose。Hispreliminarygossip，thatmadethetimeflysoagreeably，wasintendedtooilthewaytolubricatethepassageofapremeditatedpill。AssoonashehadgotVizardintoperfectgoodhumor，hesaid，aproposofnothingthathadpassed，\"By-the-by，oldfellow，thatfivehundredpoundsyoupromisedtolendme!\"
Vizardwasstartledbythissuddenturnofaconversation，hithertoagreeable。
\"Why，youhavehadthreehundredandlostit，\"saidhe。\"Now，takemyadvice，anddon\'tloseanymore。\"
\"Idon\'tmeanto。ButIamdeterminedtowinbackthethreehundred，andagreatdealmore，beforeIleavethis。Ihavediscoveredasystem，aninfallibleone。\"
\"Iamsorrytohearit，\"saidHarrington，gravely。\"Thatisthesecondstepontheroadtoruin；thegamblerwithasystemistheconfirmedmaniac。\"
\"What!because_other_systemshavebeentried，andprovedtobefalse?
Mineisuntried，anditismereprejudicetocondemnitunheard。\"
\"Propoundit，then，\"saidVizard。\"Onlypleaseobservethebankhasgotitssystem；youforgetthat:andthebank\'ssystemistotakeapositiveadvantage，whichmustwininthelongrun；therefore，allcounter-systemsmustloseinthelongrun。\"
\"Butthebankistiedtoalongrun，theindividualplayerisnot。\"
ThisreplycheckedVizardforamomentandtheotherfolloweduphisadvantage。\"Now，Vizard，bereasonable。Whatwouldthetriflingadvantagethebankderivesfromanincident，whichoccursonlyonceintwenty-eightdeals，availagainstaplayerwhocouldforeseeatanygivendealwhetherthecardthatwasgoingtocomeupthenearestthirtywouldbeontheredorblack?\"
\"Noavailatall。GodAlmightycouldbreakthebankeveryafternoon。
_Apre\'s?_aswesayinFrance。Doyoupretendtoomniscience?\"
\"Notexactly。\"
\"Well，butprescienceofisolatedevents，precededbyno_indicia，_
belongsonlytoomniscience。DidtheynotteachyouthatmuchatOxford?\"
\"TheytaughtmeverylittleatOxford。\"
\"Faultoftheplace，eh?Youtaught_them_something，though；andthepresentconversationremindsmeofit。Inyoursecondterm，wheneveryothermanisstillquizzedandkeptdownasafreshman，you，werealreadyaleader；achiefofmisrule。Youfoundedawhist-clubinTrinity，theprimmestcollegeofall。TheDonsrootedyououtincollege；butyoudidnotsuccumb；youfulfilledthesayingofSydneySmith，that\'Cribbageshouldbeplayedincaverns，andsixpenny-whistinthehowlingwilderness。\'Ha!ha!howwellIrememberridingacrossBullingtonGreenonefineafternoon，andfindingfourOxfordhackshalteredinarow，andthefourundergraduatesthathadhiredthemonlongtick，sittingcross-leggedunderthehedgelikeTurksortailors，roundarudetablewiththelegssaweddowntostumps。Youhadtwopacks，andaportableinkstand，andweresohardatitthatIputmymare\'snoserightoverthequartetbeforeyousaweitherherorme。Thathedgewaslikeadriftofodoriferoussnowthehawthornbloom，andprimrosessparkledonitsbankliketopazes。Thebirdschirruped，theskysmiled，thesunburnedperfumes；andtheresatmylordandhisfellow-maniacs，snick-snack——pit-pat——cutting，dealing，playing，revoking，scoring，andexchangingI。O。U。\'snotworththepaper。\"
\"Alltrue，buttherevoking，\"saidSeverne，merrily。\"Monster!bythememoryofthoseyouthfuldays，Idemandafairhearing。\"Then，gravely，\"Hangitall，Vizard，Iamnotafellowthatisalwaysintrudinghisaffairsandhistheoriesuponothermen。\"
\"No，no，no，\"saidVizard，hastily，andhalfapologetically；\"goon。\"
\"Well，then，ofcourseIdon\'tpretendtoforeknowledge；butIdotoexperience，andyouknowexperienceteachesthewise。\"
\"Nottoflingfivehundredafterthree。There——Ibegpardon。Proceed，instructorofyouth。\"
\"Dolisten，then:experienceteachesusthatluckhasitslaws；andI
buildmysystemononeofthem。Iftwooppositeaccidentsaresuretohappenequallyofteninatotaloffiftytimes，people，whohavenotobserved，expectthemtohappenturnabout，andbetaccordingly。Buttheydon\'thappenturnabout；theymakeshortruns，andsometimeslongones。
Theypositivelyavoidalternation。Haveyounotobservedthisat_trenteetquarante?\"_
\"No。\"
\"Thenyouhavenotwatchedthecards。\"
\"Notmuch。Thefacesofthegamblerswerealwaysmystudy。Theyareinstructive。\"
\"Well，then，I\'llgiveyouanexampleoutside——fortheprinciplerunsthroughallequalchances——taketheuniversityboat-race:youhavekeptyoureyeonthat?\"
\"Rather。Nevermissedoneyet。ComeallthewayfromBarfordshiretoseeit。\"
\"Well，there\'sanexample。\"
\"Ofchance?No，thankyou。Thatgoesbystrength，skill，wind，endurance，chasteliving，self-denial，andjudicioustraining。Everywinningboatismannedbyvirtues。\"Hiseyeflashed，andhewasasearnestallinamomentashehadbeenlistless。Acontinentalcynichaddubbedthisinsularcynicmad。
Theprofessorofchancessmiledsuperior。\"Thosethingsdecideeachindividualrace，andthebestmenwin，becauseithappenstobetheonlyracethatisneversold。Butgofurtherback，andyoufinditischance。
ItispurechancethatsendsthebestmenuptoCambridgetwoorthreeyearsrunning，andthentoOxford。Withthiskey，takethefactsmysystemrestson。Therearetwo。Thefirstisthatinthirtyandoddracesandmatches，theuniversityluckhascomeoutequalontheriverandatLord\'s:thesecondis，theluckhasseldomalternated。Idon\'tsay，never。Butlookatthelistofevents；itispublishedeveryMarch。Youmayseetherethegreattruththatevenchancesshundirectalternation。
Inthis，properlyworked，liesafortuneatHomburg，wheretheplayissquare。Redgainsonce；youbackrednexttime，andstop。Youareonblack，andwin；youdouble。Thisisthegame，ifyouhaveonlyafewpounds。Butwithfivehundredpoundsyoucandoublemorecourageously，andworktheshortrunhard；andthatishowlossesareavertedandgainssecured。OnceatWiesbadenIcaughtacroupier，outonaholiday。ItwasGood-Friday，youknow。Igavehimastunningdinner。Hewascloseaswax，atfirst——thatmightbethesaltfish；butafterthe_rognons\'alabrochette，_andabottleofchampagne，heletout。Irememberonethinghesaid:Monsieur，cequefaitlafortunedelabanquecen\'estpaslepetitavantagequ\'elletiredurefait——quoiquecelayestpourquelquechose——c\'estlate\'me\'rite\'deceuxquiperdent，etlatimidite\'
deceuxquigagnent。\'\"
\"And，\"saysVizard，\"thereisaFrenchproverbfoundedon_experience:_
\"C\'estencorerougequiperd，Etencorenoir。Maistoujoursblancquigagne。\'\"
Severne，forthefirsttime，lookedangryandmortified；heturnedhisbackandwassilent。Vizardlookedathimuneasily，hesitatedamoment，thenflungtheremainderofhiscigarawayandseemedtorousehimselfbodyandsoul。Hesquaredhisshoulders，asifheweregoingtoboxtheDemonofplayforhisfriend，andheletoutgoodsenserightandleft，and，indeed，wasalmostbetrayedintoeloquence。\"What!\"hecried，\"you，whoaresobrightandkeenandknowingineverythingelse，areyoureallysoblindedbyegotismandcredulityastobelievethatyoucaninventanymethodofbettingat_rougeetnoir_thathasnotbeentriedbeforeyouwereborn?DoyourememberthefirstwordinLaBruy\'ere\'sfamouswork?\"
\"No，\"saidNed，sulkily。\"Readnothingbutnewspapers。\"
\"Goodlad。Savesadealoftrouble。Well，hebegins\'Toutestdit\'——\'everythinghasbeensaid；\'andIsaythat，inyourbusiness，\'Toutestfait\'——\'everythinghasbeendone。\'Everymovehasbeentriedbeforeyouexisted，andtheresultofallisthattobetagainstthebank，wildlyorsystematically，istogambleagainstarock。_Simonumentaquoeris，circumspice。_Useyoureyes，man。LookattheKursaal，itsluxuries，itsgardens，itsgilding，itsattractions，allofthemcheap，excepttheonethatpaysforall；allthesedelights，andtherents，andthecroupiers，andtheservants，andtheincomeandliveriesofanunprincipledprince，whowouldotherwisebeapoorbuthonestgentlemanwithone_bonne，_insteadofthirtyblazinglackeys，allcomefromthegainsofthebank，whicharethelossesoftheplayers，especiallyofthosethathavegotasystem。\"
Severneshotin，\"Abankwasbrokenlastweek。\"
\"Wasit?Thenallitlosthasreturnedtoit，orwillreturntoitto-night；forgamblersknownodayofrest。\"
\"Oh，yes，theydo。ItisshutonGood-Friday。\"
\"Yousurpriseme。Onlythreehundredandsixty-fourdaysintheyear!
BrainlessavariceismorereasonablethanIthought。Severne，yoursisaveryseriouscase。Youhavereducedyourincome，thatisclear；foranEnglishgentlemandoesnotstayyearsandyearsabroadunlesshehasoutruntheconstable；andIfeelsuregamblinghasdoneit。Youhadthefeverfromaboy。BullingtonGreen!\'Asthetwig\'sbentthetree\'sinclined。\'Come，come，makeastand。Wearefriends。Letushelponeanotheragainstourbesettingfoibles。Letuspracticeantiquewisdom；
letus\'knowourselves，\'andleaveHomburgto-morrow，insteadofTuesday。\"
Severnelookedsullen，butsaidnothing；thenVizardgavehimtoohastilycreditforsomeofthatsterlingfriendship，borderingonlove，whichwarmedhisownfaithfulbreast:underthisdelusionhemadeanextraordinaryeffort；heusedanargumentwhich，withhimself，wouldhavebeenirresistible。\"Lookhere，\"saidhe，\"I\'ll——won\'tyouhaveacigar?——there；nowI\'lltellyousomething:Ihaveamaniaasbadasyours；onlymineisintermittent，thankHeaven!I\'mtoldamillionwomenareasgood，orbetter，thanamillionmen。Itmaybeso。ButwhenI，anindividual，stakemyheartonlovelywoman，shealwaysturnsoutunworthy。Withme，thesexavoidsalternation。ThereforeIrailonitwholesale。Itisnotphilosophical；butIdon\'tdoittoinstructmankind；itistosoothemyspleen。Well——wouldyoubelieveit?——onceineverythreeyears，inspiteofmyexperience，Iamalwaysbittenagain。
Aftermylucidintervalhasexpired，Ifallinwithsomewoman，whoseemsnotliketherest，butanangel。ThenI，thoughI\'maversetothesex，fallaneasy，animmediatevictimtotheindividual。\"
\"Loveatfirstsight。\"
\"Notabitofit。Ifsheisasbeautifulasanangel，withthevoiceofapeacockoraguinea-hen——and，luckilyforme，thatisafrequentarrangement——sheisnomoretomethanthefire-shovel。Ifshehasasweetvoiceandpaleeyes，I\'msafe。Indeed，IamsafeagainstJuno，Venus，andMinervafortwoyearsandseveralmonthsafterthelast；butwhentwoeventscoincide，whenmytimeisup，andthelovely，melodiousfemalecomes，thenIamlost。BeforeIhaveseenherandheardherfiveminutes，Iknowmyfate，andIneverresistit。Inevercan；thatisacuriouspartofthemania。Thencommencesalittledrama，alltheactsofwhicharestalecopies；yeteachtimetheytakemebysurprise，asiftheywerenew。Inspiteofpastexperience，Ibeginallconfidenceandtrust:by-and-bycomethesubtlebutwell-knownsignsofdeceit；sodoubtisforcedonme；andthenIamallsuspicion，andsodarklyvigilantthatsoonalliscertainty；for\'lesfourberiesdesfemmes\'arediabolicallysubtle，butmonotonous。Theyseemtovaryonlyonthesurface。Onelookstoogentleandsweettogiveanycreaturepain；Icherishherlikeatenderplant；shedeceivesmeforthecoarsestfellowshecanfind。
Anothercomesthefrankandcandiddodge；sheissooff-handedsheshowsmeitisnotworthherwhiletobetray。Shedeceivesme，liketheother，andwithaslittlediscrimination。Thenexthasafaceofbeaminginnocence，andalimpideyethatlooksliketransparentcandor；shegazeslongandcalmlyinmyface，asifhereyelovedtodwellonme，gazeswiththeeyeofagazelleorayounghare，andthebabylipsbelowoutliethehoariestmalefoxintheOldJewry。But，tocompletethedelusion，allmysweetheartsandwivesareromanticandpoeticalskin-deep——ortheywouldnotattractme——andallturnoutvulgartothecore。Bytheirloversalonecanyoueverknowthem。Bythementheycan\'tlove，andthementheydolove，youfindthesecreaturesthatimitatesentimentsodivinelyarehard，prosaic，vulgarlittlethings，thinlygiltanddoublevarnished。\"
\"Theyaremuchbetterthanweare；butyoudon\'tknowhowtotakethem，\"
saidSeverne，withthecalmsuperiorityofsuccess。
\"No，\"repliedVizard，dryly，\"cursemeifIdo。Well，IdidhopeIhadoutgrownmymania，asIhavedonethetoothache；forthistimeIhadpassedthefatalperiod，thethreeyears。ItisnearlyfouryearsnowsinceIwentthroughtheestablishedprocess——asfixedbeforehandasthedyer\'sorthecotton-weaver\'s——adoredher，trustedherblindly，suspectedher，watchedher，detectedher，lefther。By-the-by，shewasmywife，thelast；butthatmadenodifference；shewasneitherbetternorworsethantherest，andhermethodsandidioticmotivesofdeceitidentical。Well，Ned，Iwasmistaken。YesterdaynightImetmyFateoncemore。\"
\"Where?InFrankfort?\"
\"No:atHomburg；attheopera。Youmustgivemeyourwordnottotellasoul。\"
\"Ipledgeyoumywordofhonor。\"
\"Well，theladywhosungthepartofSiebel。\"
\"Siebel?\"mutteredSeverne。
\"Yes，\"saidVizard，dejectedly。
Severnefixedhiseyesonhisfriendwithastrangeexpressionofconfusionandcuriosity，asifhecouldnottakeitallin。Buthesaidnothing，onlylookedveryhardallthetime。
Vizardburstout，\"\'Omiseraehominummentes，Opectoracaeca!\'ThereI
sat，inthestalls，ahappymancomparatively，becausemyheart，thoughfullofscars，wasatpeace，andmyreason，afterperiodicalabdications，hadresumeditsthrone，forgood；soI，weakmortal，fancied。Siebelappeared；tall，easy，dignified，andwalkinglikeawave；modest，fair，noble，great，dreamy，and，aboveall，divinelysad；thesoulofwomanhoodandmusicpouredfromherhoneylips；sheconqueredallmysenses:Ifeltsomethinglikeaboltoficerundownmyback。Ioughttohavejumpedupandfledthetheater。IwishIhad。ButIneverdo。Iamincurable。Thecharmdeepened；andwhenshehadsung\'LeParlated\'Amor\'asnomortaleversungandlookedit，sheleftthestageandcarriedmyheartandsoulawaywithher。WhatchancehadI?Hereshoneallthebeautiesthatadornthebody，allthevirtuesandgracesthatembellishthesoul；theywereweddedtopoetryandravishingmusic，andgaveandtookenchantment。I
sawmyparagonglideaway，likeagoddess，pastthescenery，andIdidnotseehermeetherloveratthenextstep——afellowwithawash-leatherface，greasylocksinasausageroll，andhishairshavedoffhisforehead——andsnatchapotofporterfromhishands，anddrainittothedregs，andsay，\'Itisallright，Harry:_that_fetched\'em。\'ButIknow，byexperience，shedid；so_sauvequipeut。_Dearfriendandfellow-lunatic，formysakeandyours，leaveFrankfortwithmeto-morrow。\"
Severnehunghishead，andthoughthard。Herewasanewandwonderfulturn。Hefeltallmannerofstrangethings——apangofjealousy，forone。
Hefeltthat，oneveryaccount，itwouldbewisetogo，and，indeed，dangeroustostay。Butamaniaisamania，andsohecouldnot。\"Lookhere，oldfellow，\"hesaid，\"iftheoperawereonto-morrow，Iwouldleavemythreehundredbehindmeandsacrificemyselftoyou，soonerthanexposeyoutothefascinationsofsocaptivatingawomanasInaKlosking。\"
\"InaKlosking?Isthathername?Howdo_you_know?\"
\"I——I——fancyIheardso。\"
\"Why，shewasnotannounced。InaKlosking!Itisasweetname；\"andhesighed。
\"Butyouarequitesafefromherforoneday，\"continuedSeverne，\"soyoumustbereasonable。Iwillgowithyou，Tuesday，asearlyasyoulike；
butdobeagoodfellow，andletmehavethefivehundred，totrymysystemwithto-morrow。\"
Vizardlookedsad，andmadenoreply。
Severnegotimpatient。\"Why，whatisittoarichfellowlikeyou?IfI
hadtwelvethousandacresinaringfence，nofriendwouldaskmetwiceforsuchatriflingsum。\"
Vizard，forthefirsttime，woreasupercilioussmileatbeingsomisunderstood，anddidnotdeignareply。
Severnewentonmistakinghisman:\"Icangiveyoubillsforthemoney，andforthethreehundredyoudidlendme。\"
Vizarddidnotreceivethisasexpected。\"Bills?\"saidhe，gravely。
\"What，doyoudothatsortofthingaswell?\"
\"Whynot，pray?SolongasI\'mtheholder，notthedrawer，northeacceptor。Besides，theyarenotaccommodationbills，butgoodcommercialpaper。\"
\"Youareamerchant，then；areyou?\"
\"Yes；inasmallway。Ifyouwillallowme，Iwillexplain。\"
Hedidso；and，tosavecomments，yetenablethereadertoappreciatehisexplanation，thetruepartofitisprintedinitalics，themendaciousportioninordinarytype。
_\"MyestateinHuntingdonshireisnotverylarge；andtherearemortgagesonit，_forthebenefitofothermembersofmyfamily。Iwasalwaysdesiroustopayoffthesemortgages；andtookthebestadviceIcould。_I
havegotanuncle:_helivesinthecity。Heputmeontoagoodthing。I
boughtashareinatradingvessel；shemakesshorttrips，andturnshercargooften。ShewilltakeoutpapertoAmerica，andbringbackrawcotton:shewilllandthatatLiverpool，andshipEnglishhardwareandcottonfabricsfortheMediterraneanandGreece，andbringbackcurrantsfromZanteandlemonsfromPortugal。Shegoesforthenimbleshilling。
Well，youknowshipswearout:_andifyouvarnishthemrotten，andinsurethemhigh，andtheygotoglory，Mr。Plimsollisdownonyoulikeahammer。_So，whenshehadpaidmypurchase-moneythreetimesover，somefellowsinthecitymadeanofferfor_TheRover_——thatwashername。Mysharecametotwelvehundred，andmyunclesaidIwastotakeit。_NowI
alwaysfeelboundbywhathedecides。_Theygavemefourbills，forfourhundred，threehundred，threehundred，andtwohundred。Thefourhundredwaspaidatmaturity。_Theothersarenotdueyet。_IhaveonlytosendthemtoLondon，andIcangetthemoneybackbyThursday:butyouwantmetostartonTuesday。\"
\"Thatisenough，\"saidVizard，wearily，\"Iwillbeyourbanker，and——\"
\"Youareagoodfellow!\"saidSevernewarmly。
\"No，no；Iamaweakfellow，andaninjudiciousone。Butitistheoldstory:whenafriendasksyouwhathethinksafavor，therightthingistograntitatonce。Hedoesn\'twantyouradvice；hewantstheonethingheasksfor。There，getmethebills，andI\'lldrawacheckonMuller:
HerriesadvisedhimbySaturday\'spost；sowecandrawonMonday。\"
\"Allright，oldman，\"saidSeverne，andwentawaybrisklyforthebills。
Whenhegotfromthebalconyintotheroom，hisstepsflaggedalittle；
itstruckhimthatinktakestimetodry，andmoretimetodarken。
As_TheRover，_withhernimblecargoes，wasfirstcousinto_TheFlyingDutchman，_withhiscrewofghosts，sothebillsreceivedbySeverne，aspurchase-moneyforhisship，necessarilypartookofthatship\'saerialcharacter。Indeedtheyexisted，astheschoolmenusedtosay，in_posse，_
butnotin_esse。_Tobelesspedanticandmoreexact，theyexistedasslipsofblankpaper，withaGovernmentstamp。Togivethemamercantilecharacterforatime——viz。，untilpresentedforpayment——theymustbedrawnbyanimaginaryship-owneroravisionarymerchant，andindorsedbyatleastoneshadow，andamanofstraw。
Themanofstrawsatdowntoinscribeselfandshadows，andbecameadishonestwriteroffiction；forthearthenowcommencedappearstofallshortofforgeryproper，buttobestillmoredistinctfromjustifiablefiction。TheingeniousMr。DeFoe\'scertificatebyanaeialjusticeofthepeacetothetruthofhisghostlynarrativecomesnearesttoit，inmypoorreading。
Qualmshehad，butnotdeep。IfthebillsweredrawnbyImagination，acceptedbyFancy，andindorsedbyImpudence，whatdiditmattertoNedStraw，sincehissystemwouldenablehimtoredeemthematmaturity?Hisonlyrealconcernwastoconcealtheirrecentorigin。Sohewrotethemwithabroad-nibbedpen，thattheymightbetheblacker，andsetthemtodryinthesun。
Hethenproceededtoachangeoftoilet。
Whilethusemployed，therewasasharptapathisdoorandVizard\'svoiceoutside。Severnestartedwithterror，snappedupthethreebillswiththedexterityofaconjurer——thehandleturned——heshovedthemintoadrawer——Vizardcamein——heshutthedrawer，andpanted。
VizardhadfollowedthecustomofOxoniansamongthemselves，whichistoknock，andthencomein，unlessforbidden。
\"Come，\"saidhe，cheerfully，\"thosebills。I\'minahurrytocashthemnow，andendtheonlydifferencewehaveeverhad，oldfellow。\"
ThebloodleftSeverne\'scheekandlipsforamoment，andhethoughtswiftlyandhard。Thebloodreturned，alongwithhisreadywit。\"Howgoodyouare!\"saidhe；\"butno。ItisSunday。\"
\"Sunday!\"ejaculatedVizard。\"Whatisthattoyou，afellowwhohasbeenyearsabroad?\"
\"Ican\'thelpit，\"saidSeverne，apologetically。\"Iamsuperstitious——don\'tliketodobusinessonaSunday。IwouldnotevenshuntatthetablesonaSunday——Idon\'tthink。\"
\"Ah，youarenotquitesureofthat。There_is_alimittoyoursuperstition!Well，willyoulistentoastoryonaSunday?\"
\"Rather!\"
\"Then，onceonatimetherewasaScotchfarmerwhohadabonnycow；andanotherfarmercovetedherhonestly。OneSundaytheywenthometogetherfromkirkandtherewasthecowgrazing。FarmerTwostopped，eyedher，andsaidtoFarmerOne，\'GienitwereMonday，asitistheSabba\'day，whatwouldyetak\'foryourcoow?\'Theothersaidthepricewouldbeninepounds，_ifitwereMonday。_AndsotheykepttheSabbath；andthecowchangedhands，though，tothenakedeye，shegrazedon_insitu。_Ournegotiationisjustascomplete。Sowhatdoesitmatterwhethertheactualexchangeofbillsandcashtakesplaceto-dayorto-morrow?\"
\"Doyoureallymeantosayitdoesnotmattertoyou?\"askedSeverne。
\"Notonestraw。\"
\"Then，asitdoesnotmattertoyou，anddoestome，givememyfoolishway，likeadeargoodfellow。\"
\"Now，thatissmart，\"saidVizard——\"verysmart；\"then，withalookofparentaladmiration，\"hegetshisownwayineverything。He_will_haveyourmoney——he_won\'t_haveyourmoney。Iwonderwhetherhe_will_
consenttowalkthosegirlsout，anddisburdenmeoftheirtooprofitablediscourse。\"
\"ThatIwill，withpleasure。\"
\"Well，theyareatluncheon——withtheirbonnetson。\"
\"Iwilljointheminfiveminutes。\"
Afterluncheon，MissVizard，MissDover，andMr。Severnestartedforastroll。
MissMaitlandsuggestedthatVizardshouldaccompanythem。
\"Couldn\'tthinkofdesertingyou，\"saidhedryly。
Theyoungladiesgiggled，becausethesetworarelyopenedtheirmouthstoagree，onebeingaprofessedwoman-hater，andtheotheraman-hater，inwords。
SaysMisander，inasourishway，\"Sinceyouvaluemyconversationso，perhapsyouwillbegoodenoughnottosmokeforthenexttenminutes。\"
Misogynconsented，butsighed。Thatsighwentunpitied，andtheladywastednotime。
\"Doyouseewhatisgoingonbetweenyoursisterandthatyoungman?\"
\"Yes；alittleflirtation。\"
\"Agreatdealmorethanthat。Icaughtthem，inthisveryroom，makinglove。\"
\"Youalarmme，\"saidVizard，withmarkedtranquillity。
\"Isawhim——kiss——her——hand。\"
\"Yourelieveme，\"saidVizard，ascalmlyashehadbeenalarmed。\"There\'snoharminthat。I\'vekissedthequeen\'shand，andthenationdidnotriseuponme。However，Iobjecttoit。Thesuperiorsexshouldnotplaythespaniel。Iwilltellhimtodropthat。But，permitmetosay，allthisisinyourdepartment，notmine。
\"ButwhatcanIdoagainstthreeofthem，unlessyousupportme?Thereyouhaveletthemgoouttogether。\"
\"TogetherwithFannyDover，youmean?\"
\"Yes；andifFannyhadanydesignsonhim，Zoewouldbesafe——\"
\"AndpoorNedtornintwo。\"
\"ButFanny，Iamgrievedtosay，seemsinclinedtoassistthisyoungmanwithZoe；thatis，becauseitdoesnotmattertoher。Shehasotherviews——seriousones。\"
\"Serious!What?Anunnery?ThenIpitymyladyabbess。\"
\"Herviewsareplainenoughtoanybodybutyou。\"
\"Arethey?Thenmakemeaswiseasmyneighbors。\"
\"Well，then，shemeanstomarry_you。\"_
\"What!Oh，come!——thatistoogoodajoke!\"
\"Itissoberearnest。AskZoe——askyourfriend，Mr。Severne——askthechambermaids——askanycreaturewithaneyeinitshead。Oh，theblindnessofyoumen!\"
TheMisogynwasstruckdumb。Whenherecovered，itwastorepineatthelotofman。
\"Evenmyownfamiliarcousin——onceremoved——inwhomItrusted!IdeputeyoutoinformherthatIthinkher_adorable，_andthatmatrimonyisnolongerahabitofmine。SetherontopoorSeverne；heisaladies\'man，and\'themorethemerrier\'ishiscreed。\"
\"SuchagirlasFannyisnottobedivertedfromapurposeofthatsort。
Besides，shehastoomuchsensetoplungeintotheSeverneand——pauperism!Sheisbentonarichhusband，notaneedyadventurer。\"
\"Madam，inmyfriend\'sname，Ithankyou。\"
\"Youareverywelcome，sir——itisonlythetruth。\"Then，withaswiftreturntoheroriginaltopic:\"No；IknowperfectlywellwhatFannyDoverwilldothisafternoon。Shesketches。\"
\"Itistootrue，\"saidVizarddolefully:\"showedmeashipinfullsail，andIpraisedit_inmyway。_Isaid，\'Thatrockisratherwelldone。\'\"
\"Well，shewillbeseizedwithadesiretosketch。Shewillsitdownapart，andsay，\'Pleasedon\'twatchme——itmakesmenervous。\'Theothertwowilltakethehintandmakeloveagoodwayoff；andZoewillgogreaterlengths，withanotherwomaninsight——butonlyjustinsight，andslylyencouragingher——thanifshewerequitealonewithher_mauvaissujet。\"_
Vizardwaspleasedwiththeoldlady。\"Thisissagacious，\"saidhe，\"andshowsaneyefordetail。Irecognizeinyourpicturethefoxysex。But，atthismoment，whocanforetellwhichwaythewindwillblow?Youarenotaware，perhaps，thatZoeandFannyhavehadaquarrel。Theydon\'tspeak。Now，inwomen，youknow，vicesarecontrolledbyvices——seePope。
Theconspiracyyoudreadwillbeavertedbytheotherfaultsoftheircharacter，theirjealousyandtheirpetulanttempers。Takemywordforit，theyaresparringatthismoment；andthatpoor，sillySevernemeditatingandmoderating，andgettingscratchedonbothsidesfortryingtobejust。\"
Atthismomentthedooropened，andFannyDoverglitteredonthethresholdinCambridgeblue。
\"There，\"saidVizard；\"didnotItellyou?Theyarecomehome。\"
\"Onlyme，\"saidFannygayly。
\"Wherearetheothers?\"inquiredMissMaitlandsharply。
\"Notfaroff——onlybytheriverside。\"
\"Andyouleftthosetwoalone!\"
\"Now，don\'tbecross，aunt，\"criedFanny，andlimpeduptoher。\"ThesenewbootsaresotightthatIreallycouldn\'tbearthemanylonger。I
believeIshallbelame，asitis。\"
\"Yououghttobeashamedofyourself。Whatwillthepeoplesay?\"
\"La!aunt，itisabroad。Onedoeswhatonelikes——outofEngland。\"
\"Here\'sacodeofmorals!\"saidVizard，whomusthavehisslap。
\"Nonsense，\"saidMissMaitland:\"shewillbesuretomeetsomebody。AllEnglandisontheRhineatthistimeoftheyear；and，whetherorno，isitforyoutoexposethatchildtofamiliaritywithapersonnobodyknows，norhisfamilyeither?Youaretwenty-fiveyearsold；youknowtheworld；youhaveaspooranopinionofthemanasIhave，oryouwouldhavesetyourowncapathim——youknowyouwould——andyouhaveletoutthingstomewhenyouwereoffyourguard。FannyDover，youarebehavingwickedly；youareafalsefriendtothatpoorgirl。\"
Uponthis，lo!thepertFanny，hithertosoreadywithheranswers，begantocrybitterly。Thewordsreallyprickedherconscience，andtobescoldedisonething，tobeseverelyandsolemnlyreproachedisanother；
andbeforeaman!
Theofficialwoman-haterwasmeltedinamomentbythesaucygirl\'stears。\"There——there，\"saidhe，kindly，\"havealittlemercy。Hangitall!Don\'tmakeamountainofamole-hill。\"
Theofficialman-haternevermovedamuscle。\"Itisnousehercryingto_me:_shemustgivemea_proof_sheissorry。Fanny，ifyouarearespectablegirl，andhaveanyideaofbeingmyheir，goyouthismomentandbringthemhome。\"
\"Yes，aunt，\"saidFanny，eagerly；andwentoffwithwonderfulalacrity。