hadbeenwithinitswalls!WhycouldInothavebeen,contentwithwhatitrepresented?oftradition,ofcustom,——ofreligion?Andwhatwasitwithinmethathadluredmeawayfromthese?
Iwasmiserable,indeed,butmymiserywasnotofthekindIthoughtitoughttobe.Atmoments,whenmymotherrelapsedintoweeping,Iglancedatheralmostinwonder.Suchsorrowasherswasincomprehensible.Onceshesurprisedanddiscomfitedmebyliftingherheadandgazingfixedlyatmethroughhertears.
Irecallcertainimpressionsofthefuneral.There,amongthepall-
bearers,wasmyCousinRobertBreck,tearsinthefurrowsofhischeeks.
HadhelovedmyfathermorethanI?ThesightofhisgriefmovedmesuddenlyandstronglyItseemedanagesinceIhadworkedinhisstore,andyetherehewasstill,comingtotowneverymorningandreturningeveryeveningtoClaremore,lovinghisfriends,andmourningthemonebyone.Wasthis,thespectaclepresentedbymyCousinRobert,therewardofearthlyexistence?Weretherenootherprizessavethoseknownasgreatnessofcharacteranddepthofhumanaffections?CousinRobertlookedwornandold.Theotherpall-bearers,menofweight,oflongstandinginthecommunity,wereaged,too;Mr.Blackwood,andMr.
JulesHollister;andoutofplace,somehow,inthisnewchurchbuilding.
Itcametomeabruptlythattheoldorderwasgone,——hadslippedawayduringmyabsence.ThechurchIhadknowninboyhoodhadbeentorndowntomakeroomforabusinessbuildingonBoyneStreet;theedificeinwhichIsatwasexpensive,gaveforthnodistinctivenote;seeminglytransitorywithitshybridinterior,itsshinyoakandblueandredorgan-pipes,betokeningacompromisedandweakenedfaith.Nondescript,likewise,seemedthenewminister,Mr.Randlett,asheprayedunctuouslyinfrontoftheflowersmassedontheplatform.Ivaguelyresentedhislaudatoryreferencestomyfather.
Theoldchurch,withitsseverity,hadactuallystoodforsomething.ItwastheWestminsterCatechisminwoodandstone,andDr.Poundhadbeenthehumanincarnationofthatcatechism,thefitrepresentativeofawrathfulGod,amilitantshepherdwhohadguardedwithvigilancehisrespectableflock,whohadprotestedvehementlyagainstthesinsoftheworldbywhichtheyweresurrounded,againstthe\"dogs,andsorcerers,andwhoremongers,andmurderersandidolaters,andwhosoeverlovethandmakethalie.\"HowDr.PoundwouldhaveputtheemphasisoftheEverlastingintothosewords!
AgainstwhatwasMr.Randlettprotesting?
Myglancewanderedtothepewswhichheldthecommitteesfromvariousorganizations,suchastheChamberofCommerceandtheBarAssociation,whichhadcometodohonourtomyfather.Andthere,differentiatedfromtheothers,Isawthespruce,alertfigureofTheodoreWatling.He,too,representedanewtypeandanewnote,——thistimeaforcefulnote,asecularnotethathadnotbelongedtotheoldchurch,andseemedlikewiseanomalisticinthenew
Duringthelong,slowjourneyinthecarriagetothecemeterymymotherdidnotraiseherveil.Itwasnotuntilshereachedoutandseizedmyhand,convulsively,thatIrealizedshewasstillapartofmyexistence.
InthedaysthatfollowedIbecameawarethatmyfather\'sdeathhadremovedarestrictiveelement,thatIwasfreenowtotakewithoutcriticismoroppositionwhatevercourseinlifeImightdesire.ItmaybethatIhadapprehendedeventhenthathisprofessionalidealswouldnothavecoincidedwithmyown.Mingledwiththissenseofemancipationwasacuriousfeelingofregret,ofmourningforsomethingIhadnevervalued,somethingfixedanddependableforwhichhehadstood,arockandarefugeofwhichIhadneveravailedmyself!Whenhiswillwasopeneditwasfoundthatthepropertyhadbeenlefttomymotherduringherlifetime.ItwaslargerthanIhadthought,fourhundredthousanddollars,shrewdlyinvested,forthemostpart,incityrealestate.Myfatherhadbeenverysecretiveastomoneymatters,andmymotherhadnointerestinthem.
ThreeorfourdayslaterIreceivedinthemailatypewrittenlettersignedbyTheodoreWatling,expressingsympathyformybereavement,andaskingmetodropinonhim,downtown,beforeIshouldleavethecity.
IncontrasttothesomewhatdingyofficeswheremyfatherhadpractisedintheBlackwoodBlock,thequartersofWatling,FowndesandRiponontheeighthfloorofthenewDurrettBuildingweremoderntoadegree,finishedinoakandflooredwithmarble,witharailed-offspacewhereyoungwomenwithnimblefingersplayedceaselesslyontypewriters.OneoftheminformedmethatMr.Watlingwasbusy,butonreadingmycardaddedthatshewouldtakeitin.Meanwhile,incompanywithtwootherswhomayhavebeenclients,Iwaited.This,then,waswhatitmeanttobealawyerofimportance,tohave,likeaChesterfield,anante-roomwhereclientscooledtheirheelsandawaitedone\'spleasure
Theyoungwomanreturned,andledmethroughacorridortoadooronwhichwaspaintedMr.Wailing.
Irecallhimtiltedbackinhischairinadebonnairmannerbesidehispolisheddesk,thehintofasmileonhislips;andleaningclosetohimwasayellow,owl-likepersonwhoseeyes,astheyturnedtome,gavetheimpressionofhavingstaredforyearsintohard,artificiallights.Mr.
Watlingrosebriskly.
\"Howareyou,Hugh?\"hesaid,thewarmthofhisgreetingtemperedbyjustthenoteofcondolencesuitabletomyblackclothes.\"I\'mgladyoucame.
IwantedtoseeyoubeforeyouwentbacktoCambridge.ImustintroduceyoutoJudgeBering,ofourStateSupremeCourt.Judge,thisisMr.
Paret\'sboy.\"
Thejudgelookedmeoverwithacertainslowimpressiveness,andgavemeasoftandfleshyhand.
\"Gladtoknowyou,Mr.Paret.Yourfatherwasagreatlosstoourbar,\"
hedeclared.
Idetectedinhistoneandmanneraslightreservationthatcouldnotbecalledpreciselyjudicialdignity;itwasasthough,inthesefewwords,hehadgonetothelimitofself-commitmentwithastranger——astrikingcontrasttotheconfidentialattitudetowardsMr.WatlinginwhichIhadsurprisedhim.
\"Judge,\"saidMr.Watling,sittingdownagain,\"doyourecallthattimeweallwentuptoMr.Paret\'shouseandtriedtoinducehimtorunformayor?Thatwasbeforeyouwentonthelowerbench.\"
Thejudgenoddedgloomily,caressinghiswatchchain,andsuddenlyrosetogo.
\"Thatwillbeallright,then?\"Mr.Watlinginquiredcryptically,withasmile.Theothermadeabarelyperceptibleinclinationoftheheadanddeparted.Mr.Watlinglookedatme.\"He\'soneofthebestmenwehaveonthebenchto-day,\"headded.Therewasatraceofapologyinhistone.
Hetalkedawhileofmyfather,towhom,sohesaid,hehadlookedupeversincehehadbeenadmittedtothebar.
\"Itwouldbeapleasuretome,Hugh,aswellasamatterofpride,\"hesaidcordially,butwithdignity,\"tohaveMatthewParet\'ssoninmyoffice.Isupposeyouwillbewishingtotakeyourmothersomewherethissummer,butifyoucaretocomehereintheautumn,youwillbewelcome.
Youwillbegin,ofcourse,asotheryoungmenbegin,——asIbegan.ButI
amabelieverinblood,andI\'llbegladtohaveyou.Mr.FowndesandMr.Riponfeelthesameway.\"Heescortedmetothedoorhimself.
EverywhereIwentduringthatbriefvisithomeIwasstruckbychange,bythecrumblinganddecayofinstitutionsthatoncehadheldmeinthrall,bythesuperimpositionofaneworderthatasyethadassumednodefinitecharacter.Someoftheoldlandmarkshaddisappeared;therewerenewandaggressiveofficebuildings,newandaggressiveresidences,newandaggressivecitizenswholivedinthem,andofwhommymotherspokewithgentledeprecation.EvenClaremore,thatparadiseofmychildhood,hadgrownshrivelledandshabby,eventawdry,Ithought,whenwewentoutthereoneSundayafternoon;allthatoncerepresentedthemagicword\"country\"hadvanished.Theoldflatpiano,madeinPhiladelphiaagesago,thehorsehairchairsandsofahadbeenreplacedbyanondescriptfurnitureofthesortdisplayedbehindplate-glasswindowsofthecity\'sstores:rocking-chairsonstands,upholsteredinclashingcolours,theircoiledspringsonlyhalfhiddenbytassels,and\"ornamental\"electricfixtures,insteadofthepolishedcoal-oillamps.CousinJennyhadgrownwhite,Williewasastaidbachelor,Helenanoldmaid,whileMaryhadmarriedatall,anaemicyoungmanwithglasses,WalterKinley,whomCousinRoberthadtakenintothestore.AsIcontemplatedtheBrecksoddquestionssuggestedthemselves:didhonestyandwarm-heartednessnecessarilyaccompanyalackofartistictaste?andwasvirtueitsownreward,afterall?Theydrewmymotherintothehouse,tookoffherwraps,setherdowninthemostcomfortablerocker,andinsistedonmakingheracupoftea.
Iwastouched.Ilovedthemstill,andyetIwasconsciousofreservationsconcerningthem.They,too,seemedalittleonthedefensivewithme,andonceinawhileMarywascausticinherremarks.
\"IguessnothingbutNewYorkwillbegoodenoughforHughnow.He\'llbetakingCousinSarahawayfromus.\"
\"Notatall,mydear,\"saidmymother,gently,\"he\'sgoingintoMr.
Watling\'sofficenextautumn.\"
\"TheodoreWatling?\"demandedCousinRobert,pausinginhiscarving.
\"Yes,Robert.Mr.WatlinghasbeengoodenoughtosaythathewouldliketohaveHugh.Isthereanything——?\"
\"Oh,I\'moutofdate,Sarah,\"CousinRobertreplied,vigorouslyseveringthelegoftheturkey.\"Thesemodernlawyersaretoosmartforme.
Watling\'snoworsethantheothers,Isuppose,——onlyhe\'sgotmoreability.\"
\"I\'veneverheardanythingagainsthim,\"saidmymotherinapainedvoice.\"OnlytheotherdayMcAleryWillettcongratulatedmethatHughwasgoingtobewithhim.\"
\"Youmustn\'tmindRobert,Sarah,\"putinCousinJenny,——aremarkreminiscentofotherdays.
\"Dadhasanotionthathisgenerationistheonlyhonestone,\"saidHelen,laughingly,asshepassedaplate.
Ihadgainedasenseofsuperiority,andIwasquiteindifferenttoCousinRobert\'sopinionofMr.Watling,ofmodernlawyersingeneral.
Morethanonceawaveofself-congratulationsurgedthroughmethatIhadpossessedtheforesightandinitiativetogetoutofthewholesalegrocerybusinesswhiletherewasyettime.IlookedatWillie,stillfreckled,stillliteral,stillaplodder,atWalterKinley,andIthoughtofthedrabnessoftheirlives;atCousinRoberthimselfashesatsmokinghiscigarinthebay-windowonthatdarkFebruaryday,andsuddenlyIpitiedhim.Thesuspicionstruckmethathehadnotprosperedoflate,andthisdeepenedtoaconvictionashetalked.
\"TheRepublicanPartyisgoingtothedogs,\"heasserted.
\"Itusedtobeanhonourableparty,butnowitisnobetterthantheother.Politicsareonlyconducted,now,forthepurposeofmakingunscrupulousmenrich,sir.ForyearsIfurnishedthiscitywithgoodgroceries,ifIdosayitmyself.Itookaprideinthefactthattheinmatesofthehospitals,yes,andthedependentpoorinthecity\'sinstitutions,shouldhavehonestfood.Youcangetanythingoutofthecityifyouarewillingtopaythepoliticiansforit.Ilostmycitycontracts.Why?BecauseIrefusedtodealwithscoundrels.WeillandCompanyandotherunscrupulousupstartsarewillingtodoso,andpoisonthepoorandthesickwithadulteratedgroceries!ThefirstthingIknewwasthatthecityauditorwasholdingbackmybillsforsupplies,andpayingWeill\'s.That\'swhatpoliticsandbusiness,yes,sir,andthelaw,havecometointhesedays.Ifamanwantstosucceed,hemustturnintoarascal.\"
Iwasnotshocked,butIwassilent,uncomfortable,wishingthatitweretimetotakethetrainbacktothecity.CousinRobert\'sfacewasmorewornthanIhadthought,andIcontrastedhiminevitablywiththeforcefulpersonwhousedtostand,inhiswornalpacacoat,onthepavementinfrontofhisstore,greetingwithclear-eyedcontenthisfellowmerchantsofthecity.WillieBreck,too,wassilent,andWalterKinleytookoffhisglassesandwipedthem.InthemeanwhileHelenhadleftthegroupinwhichmymothersat,and,approachingus,laidherhandsonherfather\'sshoulders.
\"Now,dad,\"shesaid,inaffectionateremonstrance,\"you\'reexcitedaboutpoliticsagain,andyouknowitisn\'tgoodforyou.Andbesides,they\'renotworthit.\"
\"You\'reright,Helen,\"hereplied.Underthepressureofherhandshemadeastrongefforttocontrolhimself,andturnedtoaddressmymotheracrosstheroom.
\"I\'mgettingtobeacrotchetyoldman,\"hesaid.\"It\'sagoodthingI
haveadaughtertoremindmeofit.\"
\"Itisagoodthing,Robert,\"saidmymother.
Duringtherestofourvisitheseemedtohaverecoveredsomethingofhisformerspiritsandpoise,takingrefugeinthepast.Theytalkedoftheirownyouth,offamilieswhosehouseshadbeenlandmarksontheSecondBank.
\"I\'mworriedaboutyourCousinRobert,Hugh,\"mymotherconfidedtome,whenwewereatlengthseatedinthetrain.\"I\'veheardrumoursthatthingsarenotsowellatthestoreastheymightbe.\"Welookedoutatthewinterlandscape,sodifferentfromthatonewhichhadthrilledeveryfibreofmybeinginthedayswhentherailroadonwhichwetravelledhadbeenawindingnarrowgauge.Theorchards——thosethatremained——werebare;stubbleprickedthefrozengroundwheretasselshadoncewavedinthehot,summerwind.Weflewbyrowafterrowofginger-bread,suburbanhousesbuilton\"villaplots,\"andIreadinlargelettersonahideoussign-board,\"WoodbinePark.\"
\"Hugh,haveyoueverheardanythingagainst——Mr.Watling?\"
\"No,mother,\"Isaid.\"SofarasIknew,heisverymuchlookeduptobylawyersandbusinessmen.Heiscounsel,Ibelieve,forMr.Blackwood\'sstreetcarlineonBoyneStreet.AndItoldyou,Ibelieve,thatImethimonceatMr.Kyme\'s.\"
\"PoorRobert!\"shesighed.\"Isupposebusinesstroubledoesmakeonebitter,——I\'veseenitsooften.ButIneverimaginedthatitwouldovertakeRobert,andathistimeoflife!Itisanoldandrespectedfirm,andwehavealwayshadaprideinit.\"
Thatnight,whenIwasgoingtobed,itwasevidentthatthesubjectwasstillinhermind.Sheclungtomyhandamoment.
\"I,too,amafraidofthenew,Hugh,\"shesaid,alittletremulously.
\"Weallgrowso,asagecomeson.\"
\"Butyouarenotold,mother,\"Iprotested.
\"Ihaveafeeling,sinceyourfatherhasgone,thatIhavelivedmylife,mydear,thoughI\'dliketostaylongenoughtoseeyouhappilymarried——
tohavegrandchildren.Iwasnotyoungwhenyouwereborn.\"Andsheadded,afteralittlewhile,\"Iknownothingaboutbusinessaffairs,andnow——nowthatyourfatherisnolongerhere,sometimesI\'mafraid——\"
\"Afraidofwhat,mother?\"
Shetriedtosmileatmethroughhertears.Wewereintheoldsitting-
room,surroundedbythebooks.
\"Iknowit\'sfoolish,anditisn\'tthatIdon\'ttrustyou.Iknowthatthesonofyourfathercouldn\'tdoanythingthatwasnothonourable.AndyetIamafraidofwhattheworldisbecoming.Thecityisgrowingsofast,andsomanynewpeoplearecomingin.Thingsarenotthesame.
Robertisright,there.AndIhaveheardyourfathersaythesamething.
Hugh,promisemethatyouwilltrytorememberalwayswhathewas,andwhathewouldwishyoutobe!\"
\"Iwill,mother,\"Ianswered.\"ButIthinkyouwouldfindthatCousinRobertexaggeratesalittle,makesthingsseemworsethantheyreallyare.Customschange,youknow.Andpoliticswereneverwell——Sundayschools.\"I,too,smiledalittle.\"Fatherknewthat.Andhewouldnevertakeanactivepartinthem.\"
\"Hewastoofine!\"sheexclaimed.
\"Andnow,\"Icontinued,\"CousinRoberthashappenedtocomeincontactwiththemthroughbusiness.Thatiswhathasmadethedifferenceinhim.
Before,healwaysknewtheywerecorrupt,butherarelythoughtaboutthem.\"
\"Hugh,\"shesaidsuddenly,afterapause,\"youmustrememberonething,——
thatyoucanaffordtobeindependent.IthankGodthatyourfatherhasprovidedforthat!\"
Iwasdulyadmitted,thenextautumn,tothebarofmyownstate,andwasassignedtoadeskintheofficesofWatling,FowndesandRipon.LarryWeedwasmyimmediatesenioramongtheapprentices,andLarrywasahero-
worshipper.Icanseehimnow.Hesuggestedabullfrogashesatinthelittleroomwesharedincommon,hisarmsakimbooveralawbook,hislittlelegsdoubledunderhim,hisround,eyesfixedexpectantlyonthedoorway.AndevenifIhadnotbeenawareofmygoodfortuneinbeingconnectedwithsuchafirmasTheodoreWatling\'s,Larrywouldshortlyhavebroughtithometome.DuringthoseweekswhenIwasmakingmyfirstdesperateattemptsatbriefingupthelawIwassometimesinterruptedbyhisexclamationswhencertainfigureswentbyinthecorridor.
\"Say,Hugh,doyouknowwhothatwas?\"
\"No.\"
\"MillerGorse.\"
\"Who\'she?\"
\"DoyoumeantosayyouneverheardofMillerGorse?\"
\"I\'vebeenawayalongtime,\"Iwouldanswerapologetically.ApersonofsomeimportanceamongmycontemporariesatHarvard,Ihadlookedforwardtoaresidenceinmynativecitywiththecomplacencyofonewhohasseensomethingoftheworld,——onlytofindthatIwastheleastinthenewkingdom.Anditwasakingdom.Larryopeneduptomesomethingofthesignificanceandextentofit,somethingoftheidentityofthemenwhocontrolledit.
\"MillerGorse,\"hesaidimpressively,\"isthecounselfortherailroad.\"
\"Whatrailroad?Youmeanthe——\"Iwasadding,whenheinterruptedmepityingly.
\"Afteryou\'vebeenhereawhileyou\'llfindoutthere\'sonlyonerailroadinthisstate,sofaraspoliticsareconcerned.TheAshuelaandNorthern,theLakeShoreandtheothersdon\'tcount.\"
Irefrainedfromaskinganymorequestionsatthattime,butafterwardsI