IhavecarefullycollectedwhateverIhavebeenabletolearnofthestoryofpoorWerther,andherepresentittoyou,knowingthatyouwillthankmeforit.Tohisspiritandcharacteryoucannotrefuseyouradmirationandlove:tohisfateyouwillnotdenyyourtears.
Andthou,goodsoul,whosufferestthesamedistressasheenduredonce,drawcomfortfromhissorrows;andletthislittlebookbethyfriend,if,owingtofortuneorthroughthineownfault,thoucanstnotfindadearercompanion.
BOOKI
MAY4.
HowhappyIamthatIamgone!Mydearfriend,whatathingistheheartofman!Toleaveyou,fromwhomIhavebeeninseparable,whomIlovesodearly,andyettofeelhappy!Iknowyouwillforgiveme.Havenototherattachmentsbeenspeciallyappointedbyfatetotormentaheadlikemine?PoorLeonora!andyetIwasnottoblame.Wasitmyfault,that,whilstthepeculiarcharmsofhersisteraffordedmeanagreeableentertainment,apassionformewasengenderedinherfeebleheart?AndyetamIwhollyblameless?DidInotencourageheremotions?DidInotfeelcharmedatthosetrulygenuineexpressionsofnature,which,thoughbutlittlemirthfulinreality,sooftenamusedus?
DidInot——butoh!whatisman,thathedaressotoaccusehimself?MydearfriendIpromiseyouIwillimprove;Iwillnolonger,ashaseverbeenmyhabit,continuetoruminateoneverypettyvexationwhichfortunemaydispense;Iwillenjoythepresent,andthepastshallbeformethepast.Nodoubtyouareright,mybestoffriends,therewouldbefarlesssufferingamongstmankind,ifmen——andGodknowswhytheyaresofashioned——didnotemploytheirimaginationssoassiduouslyinrecallingthememoryofpastsorrow,insteadofbearingtheirpresentlotwithequanimity.BekindenoughtoinformmymotherthatIshallattendtoherbusinesstothebestofmyability,andshallgivehertheearliestinformationaboutit.
Ihaveseenmyaunt,andfindthatsheisveryfarfrombeingthedisagreeablepersonourfriendsallegehertobe.Sheisalively,cheerfulwoman,withthebestofhearts.Iexplainedtohermymother\'swrongswithregardtothatpartofherportionwhichhasbeenwithheldfromher.Shetoldmethemotivesandreasonsofherownconduct,andthetermsonwhichsheiswillingtogiveupthewhole,andtodomorethanwehaveasked.Inshort,Icannotwritefurtheruponthissubjectatpresent;onlyassuremymotherthatallwillgoonwell.AndIhaveagainobserved,mydearfriend,inthistriflingaffair,thatmisunderstandingsandneglectoccasionmoremischiefintheworldthanevenmaliceandwickedness.Atallevents,thetwolatterareoflessfrequentoccurrence.
InotherrespectsIamverywelloffhere.Solitudeinthisterrestrialparadiseisagenialbalmtomymind,andtheyoungspringcheerswithitsbounteouspromisesmyoftentimesmisgivingheart.Everytree,everybush,isfullofflowers;andonemightwishhimselftransformedintoabutterfly,tofloataboutinthisoceanofperfume,andfindhiswholeexistenceinit.
Thetownitselfisdisagreeable;butthen,allaround,youfindaninexpressiblebeautyofnature.ThisinducedthelateCountMtolayoutagardenononeoftheslopinghillswhichhereintersecteachotherwiththemostcharmingvariety,andformthemostlovelyvalleys.Thegardenissimple;anditiseasytoperceive,evenuponyourfirstentrance,thattheplanwasnotdesignedbyascientificgardener,butbyamanwhowishedtogivehimselfupheretotheenjoymentofhisownsensitiveheart.ManyatearhaveIalreadyshedtothememoryofitsdepartedmasterinasummer-housewhichisnowreducedtoruins,butwashisfavouriteresort,andnowismine.Ishallsoonbemasteroftheplace.Thegardenerhasbecomeattachedtomewithinthelastfewdays,andhewilllosenothingthereby.
MAY10.
Awonderfulserenityhastakenpossessionofmyentiresoul,likethesesweetmorningsofspringwhichIenjoywithmywholeheart.Iamalone,andfeelthecharmofexistenceinthisspot,whichwascreatedfortheblissofsoulslikemine.Iamsohappy,mydearfriend,soabsorbedintheexquisitesenseofmeretranquilexistence,thatIneglectmytalents.Ishouldbeincapableofdrawingasinglestrokeatthepresentmoment;andyetIfeelthatIneverwasagreaterartistthannow.When,whilethelovelyvalleyteemswithvapouraroundme,andthemeridiansunstrikestheuppersurfaceoftheimpenetrablefoliageofmytrees,andbutafewstraygleamsstealintotheinnersanctuary,Ithrowmyselfdownamongthetallgrassbythetricklingstream;and,asIlieclosetotheearth,athousandunknownplantsarenoticedbyme:whenIhearthebuzzofthelittleworldamongthestalks,andgrowfamiliarwiththecountlessindescribableformsoftheinsectsandflies,thenIfeelthepresenceoftheAlmighty,whoformedusinhisownimage,andthebreathofthatuniversallovewhichbearsandsustainsus,asitfloatsaroundusinaneternityofbliss;andthen,myfriend,whendarknessoverspreadsmyeyes,andheavenandearthseemtodwellinmysoulandabsorbitspower,liketheformofabelovedmistress,thenIoftenthinkwithlonging,Oh,wouldIcoulddescribetheseconceptions,couldimpressuponpaperallthatislivingsofullandwarmwithinme,thatitmightbethemirrorofmysoul,asmysoulisthemirroroftheinfiniteGod!Omyfriend——butitistoomuchformystrength——Isinkundertheweightofthesplendourofthesevisions!
MAY12.
Iknownotwhethersomedeceitfulspiritshauntthisspot,orwhetheritbethewarm,celestialfancyinmyownheartwhichmakeseverythingaroundmeseemlikeparadise.Infrontofthehouseisafountain,——afountaintowhichIamboundbyacharmlikeMelusinaandhersisters.Descendingagentleslope,youcometoanarch,where,sometwentystepslowerdown,wateroftheclearestcrystalgushesfromthemarblerock.Thenarrowwallwhichenclosesitabove,thetalltreeswhichencirclethespot,andthecoolnessoftheplaceitself,——everythingimpartsapleasantbutsublimeimpression.NotadaypassesonwhichIdonotspendanhourthere.Theyoungmaidenscomefromthetowntofetchwater,——innocentandnecessaryemployment,andformerlytheoccupationofthedaughtersofkings.AsItakemyrestthere,theideaoftheoldpatriarchallifeisawakenedaroundme.Iseethem,ouroldancestors,howtheyformedtheirfriendshipsandcontractedalliancesatthefountain-side;andIfeelhowfountainsandstreamswereguardedbybeneficentspirits.Hewhoisastrangertothesesensationshasneverreallyenjoyedcoolreposeatthesideofafountainafterthefatigueofawearysummerday.
MAY13.
Youaskifyoushallsendmebooks.Mydearfriend,Ibeseechyou,fortheloveofGod,relievemefromsuchayoke!Ineednomoretobeguided,agitated,heated.Myheartfermentssufficientlyofitself.Iwantstrainstolullme,andIfindthemtoperfectioninmyHomer.OftendoIstrivetoallaytheburningfeverofmyblood;andyouhaveneverwitnessedanythingsounsteady,souncertain,asmyheart.ButneedIconfessthistoyou,mydearfriend,whohavesooftenenduredtheanguishofwitnessingmysuddentransitionsfromsorrowtoimmoderatejoy,andfromsweetmelancholytoviolentpassions?Itreatmypoorheartlikeasickchild,andgratifyitseveryfancy.Donotmentionthisagain:therearepeoplewhowouldcensuremeforit.
MAY15.
Thecommonpeopleoftheplaceknowmealready,andloveme,particularlythechildren.WhenatfirstIassociatedwiththem,andinquiredinafriendlytoneabouttheirvarioustrifles,somefanciedthatIwishedtoridiculethem,andturnedfrommeinexceedingill-humour.Ididnotallowthatcircumstancetogrieveme:IonlyfeltmostkeenlywhatIhaveoftenbeforeobserved.Personswhocanclaimacertainrankkeepthemselvescoldlyalooffromthecommonpeople,asthoughtheyfearedtolosetheirimportancebythecontact;whilstwantonidlers,andsuchasarepronetobadjoking,affecttodescendtotheirlevel,onlytomakethepoorpeoplefeeltheirimpertinenceallthemorekeenly.
Iknowverywellthatwearenotallequal,norcanbeso;butitismyopinionthathewhoavoidsthecommonpeople,inordernottolosetheirrespect,isasmuchtoblameasacowardwhohideshimselffromhisenemybecausehefearsdefeat.
TheotherdayIwenttothefountain,andfoundayoungservant-girl,whohadsetherpitcherontheloweststep,andlookedaroundtoseeifoneofhercompanionswasapproachingtoplaceitonherhead.Irandown,andlookedather.\"ShallIhelpyou,prettylass?\"saidI.Sheblusheddeeply.\"Oh,sir!\"sheexclaimed.\"Noceremony!\"Ireplied.Sheadjustedherhead-gear,andIhelpedher.Shethankedme,andascendedthesteps.
MAY17.
Ihavemadeallsortsofacquaintances,buthaveasyetfoundnosociety.IknownotwhatattractionIpossessforthepeople,somanyofthemlikeme,andattachthemselvestome;andthenIfeelsorrywhentheroadwepursuetogethergoesonlyashortdistance.Ifyouinquirewhatthepeoplearelikehere,Imustanswer,\"Thesameaseverywhere.\"Thehumanraceisbutamonotonousaffair.Mostofthemlabourthegreaterpartoftheirtimeformeresubsistence;andthescantyportionoffreedomwhichremainstothemsotroublesthemthattheyuseeveryexertiontogetridofit.Oh,thedestinyofman!
Buttheyarearightgoodsortofpeople.IfIoccasionallyforgetmyself,andtakepartintheinnocentpleasureswhicharenotyetforbiddentothepeasantry,andenjoymyself,forinstance,withgenuinefreedomandsincerity,roundawell-coveredtable,orarrangeanexcursionoradanceopportunely,andsoforth,allthisproducesagoodeffectuponmydisposition;onlyImustforgetthatthereliedormantwithinmesomanyotherqualitieswhichmoulderuselessly,andwhichIamobligedtokeepcarefullyconcealed.Ah!thisthoughtaffectsmyspiritsfearfully.Andyettobemisunderstoodisthefateofthelikeofus.
Alas,thatthefriendofmyyouthisgone!Alas,thatIeverknewher!Imightsaytomyself,\"Youareadreamertoseekwhatisnottobefoundherebelow.\"Butshehasbeenmine.Ihavepossessedthatheart,thatnoblesoul,inwhosepresenceIseemedtobemorethanIreallywas,becauseIwasallthatIcouldbe.Goodheavens!didthenasinglepowerofmysoulremainunexercised?InherpresencecouldInotdisplay,toitsfullextent,thatmysteriousfeelingwithwhichmyheartembracesnature?Wasnotourintercourseaperpetualwebofthefinestemotions,ofthekeenestwit,thevarietiesofwhich,evenintheirveryeccentricity,borethestampofgenius?Alas!thefewyearsbywhichshewasmyseniorbroughthertothegravebeforeme.NevercanIforgetherfirmmindorherheavenlypatience.
AfewdaysagoImetacertainyoungV——,afrank,openfellow,withamostpleasingcountenance.Hehasjustlefttheuniversity,doesnotdeemhimselfoverwise,butbelievesheknowsmorethanotherpeople.Hehasworkedhard,asIcanperceivefrommanycircumstances,and,inshort,possessesalargestockofinformation.
WhenheheardthatIamdrawingagooddeal,andthatIknowGreektwowonderfulthingsforthispartofthecountry,hecametoseeme,anddisplayedhiswholestoreoflearning,fromBatteauxtoWood,fromDePilestoWinkelmann:heassuredmehehadreadthroughthefirstpartofSultzer\'stheory,andalsopossessedamanuscriptofHeyne\'sworkonthestudyoftheantique.Ialloweditalltopass.Ihavebecomeacquainted,also,withaveryworthyperson,thedistrictjudge,afrankandopen-heartedman.Iamtolditisamostdelightfulthingtoseehiminthemidstofhischildren,ofwhomhehasnine.Hiseldestdaughterespeciallyishighlyspokenof.Hehasinvitedmetogoandseehim,andIintendtodosoonthefirstopportunity.Helivesatoneoftheroyalhunting-lodges,whichcanbereachedfromhereinanhourandahalfbywalking,andwhichheobtainedleavetoinhabitafterthelossofhiswife,asitissopainfultohimtoresideintownandatthecourt.
Therehavealsocomeinmywayafewotheroriginalsofaquestionablesort,whoareinallrespectsundesirable,andmostintolerableintheirdemonstrationoffriendship.Good-bye.Thisletterwillpleaseyou:itisquitehistorical.
MAY22.
Thatthelifeofmanisbutadream,manyamanhassurmisedheretofore;andI,too,ameverywherepursuedbythisfeeling.WhenIconsiderthenarrowlimitswithinwhichouractiveandinquiringfacultiesareconfined;whenIseehowallourenergiesarewastedinprovidingformerenecessities,whichagainhavenofurtherendthantoprolongawretchedexistence;andthenthatalloursatisfactionconcerningcertainsubjectsofinvestigationendsinnothingbetterthanapassiveresignation,whilstweamuseourselvespaintingourprison-wallswithbrightfiguresandbrilliantlandscapes,——whenIconsiderallthis,Wilhelm,Iamsilent.Iexaminemyownbeing,andfindthereaworld,butaworldratherofimaginationanddimdesires,thanofdistinctnessandlivingpower.Theneverythingswimsbeforemysenses,andIsmileanddreamwhilepursuingmywaythroughtheworld.
Alllearnedprofessorsanddoctorsareagreedthatchildrendonotcomprehendthecauseoftheirdesires;butthatthegrown-upshouldwanderaboutthisearthlikechildren,withoutknowingwhencetheycome,orwhithertheygo,influencedaslittlebyfixedmotives,butguidedlikethembybiscuits,sugar-plums,andtherod,——thisiswhatnobodyiswillingtoacknowledge;andyetIthinkitispalpable.
Iknowwhatyouwillsayinreply;forIamreadytoadmitthattheyarehappiest,who,likechildren,amusethemselveswiththeirplaythings,dressandundresstheirdolls,andattentivelywatchthecupboard,wheremammahaslockeduphersweetthings,and,whenatlasttheygetadeliciousmorsel,eatitgreedily,andexclaim,\"More!\"Thesearecertainlyhappybeings;butothersalsoareobjectsofenvy,whodignifytheirpaltryemployments,andsometimeseventheirpassions,withpompoustitles,representingthemtomankindasgiganticachievementsperformedfortheirwelfareandglory.
Butthemanwhohumblyacknowledgesthevanityofallthis,whoobserveswithwhatpleasurethethrivingcitizenconvertshislittlegardenintoaparadise,andhowpatientlyeventhepoormanpursueshiswearywayunderhisburden,andhowallwishequallytobeholdthelightofthesunalittlelonger,——yes,suchamanisatpeace,andcreateshisownworldwithinhimself;andheisalsohappy,becauseheisaman.Andthen,howeverlimitedhissphere,hestillpreservesinhisbosomthesweetfeelingofliberty,andknowsthathecanquithisprisonwheneverhelikes.
MAY26.
Youknowofoldmywaysofsettlinganywhere,ofselectingalittlecottageinsomecosyspot,andofputtingupinitwitheveryinconvenience.Here,too,Ihavediscoveredsuchasnug,comfortableplace,whichpossessespeculiarcharmsforme.
AboutaleaguefromthetownisaplacecalledWalheim.Thereaderneednottakethetroubletolookfortheplacethusdesignated.Wehavefounditnecessarytochangethenamesgivenintheoriginal.Itisdelightfullysituatedonthesideofahill;and,byproceedingalongoneofthefootpathswhichleadoutofthevillage,youcanhaveaviewofthewholevalley.Agoodoldwomanlivesthere,whokeepsasmallinn.Shesellswine,beer,andcoffee,andischeerfulandpleasantnotwithstandingherage.Thechiefcharmofthisspotconsistsintwolinden-trees,spreadingtheirenormousbranchesoverthelittlegreenbeforethechurch,whichisentirelysurroundedbypeasants\'cottages,barns,andhomesteads.Ihaveseldomseenaplacesoretiredandpeaceable;andthereoftenhavemytableandchairbroughtoutfromthelittleinn,anddrinkmycoffeethere,andreadmyHomer.
Accidentbroughtmetothespotonefineafternoon,andIfounditperfectlydeserted.Everybodywasinthefieldsexceptalittleboyaboutfouryearsofage,whowassittingontheground,andheldbetweenhiskneesachildaboutsixmonthsold:hepressedittohisbosomwithbotharms,whichthusformedasortofarm-chair;and,notwithstandingthelivelinesswhichsparkledinitsblackeyes,itremainedperfectlystill.Thesightcharmedme.Isatdownuponaploughopposite,andsketchedwithgreatdelightthislittlepictureofbrotherlytenderness.Iaddedtheneighbouringhedge,thebarn-door,andsomebrokencart-wheels,justastheyhappenedtolie;andIfoundinaboutanhourthatIhadmadeaverycorrectandinterestingdrawing,withoutputtingintheslightestthingofmyown.Thisconfirmedmeinmyresolutionofadhering,forthefuture,entirelytonature.Shealoneisinexhaustible,andcapableofformingthegreatestmasters.Muchmaybeallegedinfavourofrules,asmuchmaybelikewiseadvancedinfavourofthelawsofsociety:anartistformeduponthemwillneverproduceanythingabsolutelybadordisgusting;asamanwhoobservesthelaws,andobeysdecorum,canneverbeanabsolutelyintolerableneighbour,noradecidedvillain:butyet,saywhatyouwillofrules,theydestroythegenuinefeelingofnature,aswellasitstrueexpression.Donottellme\"thatthisistoohard,thattheyonlyrestrainandprunesuperfluousbranches,etc.\"Mygoodfriend,Iwillillustratethisbyananalogy.
Thesethingsresemblelove.Awarmheartedyouthbecomesstronglyattachedtoamaiden:hespendseveryhourofthedayinhercompany,wearsouthishealth,andlavisheshisfortune,toaffordcontinualproofthatheiswhollydevotedtoher.Thencomesamanoftheworld,amanofplaceandrespectability,andaddresseshimthus:\"Mygoodyoungfriend,loveisnatural;butyoumustlovewithinbounds.Divideyourtime:devoteaportiontobusiness,andgivethehoursofrecreationtoyourmistress.Calculateyourfortune;andoutofthesuperfluityyoumaymakeherapresent,onlynottoooften,——onherbirthday,andsuchoccasions.\"Pursuingthisadvice,hemaybecomeausefulmemberofsociety,andIshouldadviseeveryprincetogivehimanappointment;butitisallupwithhislove,andwithhisgeniusifhebeanartist.Omyfriend!whyisitthatthetorrentofgeniussoseldomburstsforth,soseldomrollsinfull-flowingstream,overwhelmingyourastoundedsoul?Because,oneithersideofthisstream,coldandrespectablepersonshavetakenuptheirabodes,and,forsooth,theirsummer-housesandtulip-bedswouldsufferfromthetorrent;whereforetheydigtrenches,andraiseembankmentsbetimes,inordertoaverttheimpendingdanger.
MAY27.
IfindIhavefallenintoraptures,declamation,andsimiles,andhaveforgotten,inconsequence,totellyouwhatbecameofthechildren.Absorbedinmyartisticcontemplations,whichIbrieflydescribedinmyletterofyesterday,Icontinuedsittingontheploughfortwohours.Towardeveningayoungwoman,withabasketonherarm,camerunningtowardthechildren,whohadnotmovedallthattime.Sheexclaimedfromadistance,\"Youareagoodboy,Philip!\"Shegavemegreeting:Ireturnedit,rose,andapproachedher.Iinquiredifshewerethemotherofthoseprettychildren.\"Yes,\"shesaid;and,givingtheeldestapieceofbread,shetookthelittleoneinherarmsandkisseditwithamother\'stenderness.\"IleftmychildinPhilip\'scare,\"shesaid,\"whilstIwentintothetownwithmyeldestboytobuysomewheatenbread,somesugar,andanearthenpot.\"Isawthevariousarticlesinthebasket,fromwhichthecoverhadfallen.\"Ishallmakesomebrothto-nightformylittleHanswhichwasthenameoftheyoungest:thatwildfellow,thebigone,brokemypotyesterday,whilsthewasscramblingwithPhilipforwhatremainedofthecontents.\"Iinquiredfortheeldest;andshebadscarcelytimetotellmethathewasdrivingacoupleofgeesehomefromthemeadow,whenheranup,andhandedPhilipanosier-twig.Italkedalittlelongerwiththewoman,andfoundthatshewasthedaughteroftheschoolmaster,andthatherhusbandwasgoneonajourneyintoSwitzerlandforsomemoneyarelationhadlefthim.\"Theywantedtocheathim,\"shesaid,\"andwouldnotanswerhisletters;soheisgonetherehimself.Ihopehehasmetwithnoaccident,asIhaveheardnothingofhimsincehisdeparture.\"Ileftthewoman,withregret,givingeachofthechildrenakreutzer,withanadditionalonefortheyoungest,tobuysomewheatenbreadforhisbrothwhenshewenttotownnext;andsoweparted.Iassureyou,mydearfriend,whenmythoughtsareallintumult,thesightofsuchacreatureasthistranquillisesmydisturbedmind.Shemovesinahappythoughtlessnesswithintheconfinedcircleofherexistence;shesuppliesherwantsfromdaytoday;and,whensheseestheleavesfall,theyraisenootherideainhermindthanthatwinterisapproaching.SincethattimeIhavegoneouttherefrequently.
Thechildrenhavebecomequitefamiliarwithme;andeachgetsalumpofsugarwhenIdrinkmycoffee,andtheysharemymilkandbreadandbutterintheevening.TheyalwaysreceivetheirkreutzeronSundays,forthegoodwomanhasorderstogiveittothemwhenIdonotgothereaftereveningservice.Theyarequiteathomewithme,tellmeeverything;andIamparticularlyamusedwithobservingtheirtempers,andthesimplicityoftheirbehaviour,whensomeoftheothervillagechildrenareassembledwiththem.
Ithasgivenmeadealoftroubletosatisfytheanxietyofthemother,lestasshesays\"theyshouldinconveniencethegentleman.\"
MAY30.
WhatIhavelatelysaidofpaintingisequallytruewithrespecttopoetry.Itisonlynecessaryforustoknowwhatisreallyexcellent,andventuretogiveitexpression;andthatissayingmuchinfewwords.To-dayIhavehadascene,which,ifliterallyrelated,would,makethemostbeautifulidylintheworld.ButwhyshouldItalkofpoetryandscenesandidyls?Canwenevertakepleasureinnaturewithouthavingrecoursetoart?
Ifyouexpectanythinggrandormagnificentfromthisintroduction,youwillbesadlymistaken.Itrelatesmerelytoapeasant-lad,whohasexcitedinmethewarmestinterest.Asusual,Ishalltellmystorybadly;andyou,asusual,willthinkmeextravagant.ItisWalheimoncemore——alwaysWalheim——whichproducesthesewonderfulphenomena.
Apartyhadassembledoutsidethehouseunderthelinden-trees,todrinkcoffee.Thecompanydidnotexactlypleaseme;and,underonepretextoranother,Ilingeredbehind.
Apeasantcamefromanadjoininghouse,andsettoworkarrangingsomepartofthesameploughwhichIhadlatelysketched.Hisappearancepleasedme;andIspoketohim,inquiredabouthiscircumstances,madehisacquaintance,and,asismywontwithpersonsofthatclass,wassoonadmittedintohisconfidence.Hesaidhewasintheserviceofayoungwidow,whosetgreatstorebyhim.Hespokesomuchofhismistress,andpraisedhersoextravagantly,thatIcouldsoonseehewasdesperatelyinlovewithher.\"Sheisnolongeryoung,\"hesaid:\"andshewastreatedsobadlybyherformerhusbandthatshedoesnotmeantomarryagain.\"Fromhisaccountitwassoevidentwhatincomparablecharmsshepossessedforhim,andhowardentlyhewishedshewouldselecthimtoextinguishtherecollectionofherfirsthusband\'smisconduct,thatIshouldhavetorepeathisownwordsinordertodescribethedepthofthepoorfellow\'sattachment,truth,anddevotion.Itwould,infact,requirethegiftsofagreatpoettoconveytheexpressionofhisfeatures,theharmonyofhisvoice,andtheheavenlyfireofhiseye.Nowordscanportraythetendernessofhiseverymovementandofeveryfeature:noeffortofminecoulddojusticetothescene.HisalarmlestIshouldmisconceivehispositionwithregardtohismistress,orquestiontheproprietyofherconduct,touchedmeparticularly.Thecharmingmannerwithwhichhedescribedherformandperson,which,withoutpossessingthegracesofyouth,wonandattachedhimtoher,isinexpressible,andmustbelefttotheimagination.Ihaveneverinmylifewitnessedorfanciedorconceivedthepossibilityofsuchintensedevotion,suchardentaffections,unitedwithsomuchpurity.DonotblamemeifIsaythattherecollectionofthisinnocenceandtruthisdeeplyimpresseduponmyverysoul;thatthispictureoffidelityandtendernesshauntsmeeverywhere;andthatmyownheart,asthoughenkindledbytheflame,glowsandburnswithinme.
ImeannowtotryandseeherassoonasIcan:orperhaps,onsecondthoughts,Ihadbetternot;itisbetterIshouldbeholdherthroughtheeyesofherlover.Tomysight,perhaps,shewouldnotappearasshenowstandsbeforeme;andwhyshouldIdestroysosweetapicture?
JUNE16.
\"WhydoInotwritetoyou?\"Youlayclaimtolearning,andasksuchaquestion.YoushouldhaveguessedthatIamwell——thatistosay——inaword,Ihavemadeanacquaintancewhohaswonmyheart:Ihave——Iknownot.
TogiveyouaregularaccountofthemannerinwhichIhavebecomeacquaintedwiththemostamiableofwomenwouldbeadifficulttask.Iamahappyandcontentedmortal,butapoorhistorian.
Anangel!Nonsense!Everybodysodescribeshismistress;andyetIfinditimpossibletotellyouhowperfectsheis,orwhysheissoperfect:sufficeittosayshehascaptivatedallmysenses.
Somuchsimplicitywithsomuchunderstauding——somild,andyetsoresolute——amindsoplacid,andalifesoactive.
Butallthisisuglybalderdash,whichexpressesnotasinglecharacternorfeature.Someothertime——butno,notsomeothertime,now,thisveryinstant,willItellyouallaboutit.Nowornever.Well,betweenourselves,sinceIcommencedmyletter,Ihavebeenthreetimesonthepointofthrowingdownmypen,oforderingmyhorse,andridingout.AndyetIvowedthismorningthatIwouldnotrideto-day,andyeteverymomentIamrushingtothewindowtoseehowhighthesunis.
Icouldnotrestrainmyself——gotoherImust.Ihavejustreturned,Wilhelm;andwhilstIamtakingsupperIwillwritetoyou.Whatadelightitwasformysoultoseeherinthemidstofherdear,beautifulchildren,——eightbrothersandsisters!
But,ifIproceedthus,youwillbenowiserattheendofmyletterthanyouwereatthebeginning.Attend,then,andIwillcompelmyselftogiveyouthedetails.
ImentionedtoyoutheotherdaythatIhadbecomeacquaintedwithS——,thedistrictjudge,andthathehadinvitedmetogoandvisithiminhisretirement,orratherinhislittlekingdom.ButIneglectedgoing,andperhapsshouldneverhavegone,ifchancehadnotdiscoveredtomethetreasurewhichlayconcealedinthatretiredspot.Someofouryoungpeoplehadproposedgivingaballinthecountry,atwhichIconsentedtobepresent.Iofferedmyhandfortheeveningtoaprettyandagreeable,butrathercommonplace,sortofgirlfromtheimmediateneighbourhood;anditwasagreedthatIshouldengageacarriage,andcalluponCharlotte,withmypartnerandheraunt,toconveythemtotheball.Mycompanioninformedme,aswedrovealongthroughtheparktothehunting-lodge,thatIshouldmaketheacquaintanceofaverycharmingyounglady.\"Takecare,\"addedtheaunt,\"thatyoudonotloseyourheart.\"\"Why?\"saidI.\"Becausesheisalreadyengagedtoaveryworthyman,\"shereplied,\"whoisgonetosettlehisaffairsuponthedeathofhisfather,andwillsucceedtoaveryconsiderableinheritance.\"Thisinformationpossessednointerestforme.Whenwearrivedatthegate,thesunwassettingbehindthetopsofthemountains.Theatmospherewasheavy;andtheladiesexpressedtheirfearsofanapproachingstorm,asmassesoflowblackcloudsweregatheringinthehorizon.Irelievedtheiranxietiesbypretendingtobeweather-wise,althoughImyselfhadsomeapprehensionslestourpleasureshouldbeinterrupted.
Ialighted;andamaidcametothedoor,andrequestedustowaitamomentforhermistress.Iwalkedacrossthecourttoawell-builthouse,and,ascendingtheflightofstepsinfront,openedthedoor,andsawbeforemethemostcharmingspectacleIhadeverwitnessed.Sixchildren,fromeleventotwoyearsold,wererunningaboutthehall,andsurroundingaladyofmiddleheight,withalovelyfigure,dressedinarobeofsimplewhite,trimmedwithpinkribbons.Shewasholdingaryeloafinherhand,andwascuttingslicesforthelittleonesallaround,inproportiontotheirageandappetite.Sheperformedhertaskinagracefulandaffectionatemanner;eachclaimantawaitinghisturnwithoutstretchedhands,andboisterouslyshoutinghisthanks.
Someofthemranawayatonce,toenjoytheireveningmeal;whilstothers,ofagentlerdisposition,retiredtothecourtyardtoseethestrangers,andtosurveythecarriageinwhichtheirCharlottewastodriveaway.\"Prayforgivemeforgivingyouthetroubletocomeforme,andforkeepingtheladieswaiting:butdressing,andarrangingsomehouseholddutiesbeforeIleave,hadmademeforgetmychildren\'ssupper;andtheydonotliketotakeitfromanyonebutme.\"Iutteredsomeindifferentcompliment:butmywholesoulwasabsorbedbyherair,hervoice,hermanner;andIhadscarcelyrecoveredmyselfwhensheranintoherroomtofetchherglovesandfan.Theyoungonesthrewinquiringglancesatmefromadistance;whilstIapproachedtheyoungest,amostdeliciouslittlecreature.Hedrewback;andCharlotte,enteringattheverymoment,said,\"Louis,shakehandswithyourcousin.\"Thelittlefellowobeyedwillingly;andIcouldnotresistgivinghimaheartykiss,notwithstandinghisratherdirtyface.\"Cousin,\"saidItoCharlotte,asIhandedherdown,\"doyouthinkIdeservethehappinessofbeingrelatedtoyou?\"Shereplied,withareadysmile,\"Oh!Ihavesuchanumberofcousins,thatIshouldbesorryifyouwerethemostundeservingofthem.\"Intakingleave,shedesiredhernextsister,Sophy,agirlaboutelevenyearsold,totakegreatcareofthechildren,andtosaygood-byetopapaforherwhenhecamehomefromhisride.SheenjoinedtothelittleonestoobeytheirsisterSophyastheywouldherself,uponwhichsomepromisedthattheywould;butalittlefair-hairedgirl,aboutsixyearsold,lookeddiscontented,andsaid,\"ButSophyisnotyou,Charlotte;andwelikeyoubest.\"Thetwoeldestboyshadclamberedupthecarriage;and,atmyrequest,shepermittedthemtoaccompanyusalittlewaythroughtheforest,upontheirpromisingtositverystill,andholdfast.
Wewerehardlyseated,andtheladieshadscarcelyexchangedcompliments,makingtheusualremarksuponeachother\'sdress,anduponthecompanytheyexpectedtomeet,whenCharlottestoppedthecarriage,andmadeherbrothersgetdown.Theyinsisteduponkissingherhandsoncemore;whichtheeldestdidwithallthetendernessofayouthoffifteen,buttheotherinalighterandmorecarelessmanner.Shedesiredthemagaintogiveherlovetothechildren,andwedroveoff.
TheauntinquiredofCharlottewhethershehadfinishedthebookshehadlastsenther.\"No,\"saidCharlotte;\"Ididnotlikeit:youcanhaveitagain.Andtheonebeforewasnotmuchbetter.\"Iwassurprised,uponaskingthetitle,tohearthatitwas____.Wefeelobligedtosuppressthepassageintheletter,topreventanyonefromfeelingaggrieved;althoughnoauthorneedpaymuchattentiontotheopinionofameregirl,orthatofanunsteadyyoungman.
Ifoundpenetrationandcharacterineverythingshesaid:everyexpressionseemedtobrightenherfeatureswithnewcharms,——withnewraysofgenius,——whichunfoldedbydegrees,asshefeltherselfunderstood.
\"WhenIwasyounger,\"sheobserved,\"Ilovednothingsomuchasromances.Nothingcouldequalmydelightwhen,onsomeholiday,Icouldsettledownquietlyinacorner,andenterwithmywholeheartandsoulintothejoysorsorrowsofsomefictitiousLeonora.Idonotdenythattheyevenpossesssomecharmsformeyet.ButIreadsoseldom,thatIpreferbookssuitedexactlytomytaste.AndIlikethoseauthorsbestwhosescenesdescribemyownsituationinlife,——andthefriendswhoareaboutme,whosestoriestouchmewithinterest,fromresemblingmyownhomelyexistence,——which,withoutbeingabsolutelyparadise,is,onthewhole,asourceofindescribablehappiness.\"
Iendeavouredtoconcealtheemotionwhichthesewordsoccasioned,butitwasofslightavail;for,whenshehadexpressedsotrulyheropinionof\"TheVicarofWakefield,\"andofotherworks,thenamesofwhichIomitThoughthenamesareomitted,yettheauthorsmentioneddeserveCharlotte\'sapprobation,andwillfeelitintheirheartswhentheyreadthispassage.Itconcernsnootherperson.,Icouldnolongercontainmyself,butgavefullutterancetowhatIthoughtofit:anditwasnotuntilCharlottehadaddressedherselftothetwootherladies,thatIrememberedtheirpresence,andobservedthemsittingmutewithastonishment.Theauntlookedatmeseveraltimeswithanairofraillery,which,however,Ididnotatallmind.
Wetalkedofthepleasuresofdancing.\"Ifitisafaulttoloveit,\"saidCharlotte,\"IamreadytoconfessthatIprizeitaboveallotheramusements.Ifanythingdisturbsme,Igotothepiano,playanairtowhichIhavedanced,andallgoesrightagaindirectly.\"
You,whoknowme,canfancyhowsteadfastlyIgazeduponherrichdarkeyesduringtheseremarks,howmyverysoulgloatedoverherwarmlipsandfresh,glowingcheeks,howIbecamequitelostinthedelightfulmeaningofherwords,somuchso,thatIscarcelyheardtheactualexpressions.Inshort,Ialightedfromthecarriagelikeapersoninadream,andwassolosttothedimworldaroundme,thatIscarcelyheardthemusicwhichresoundedfromtheilluminatedballroom.
ThetwoMessrs.AndranandacertainN.N.Icannottroublemyselfwiththenames,whoweretheaunt\'sandCharlotte\'spartners,receivedusatthecarriage-door,andtookpossessionoftheirladies,whilstIfollowedwithmine.
Wecommencedwithaminuet.Iledoutoneladyafteranother,andpreciselythosewhowerethemostdisagreeablecouldnotbringthemselvestoleaveoff.CharlotteandherpartnerbegananEnglishcountrydance,andyoumustimaginemydelightwhenitwastheirturntodancethefigurewithus.YoushouldseeCharlottedance.Shedanceswithherwholeheartandsoul:herfigureisallharmony,elegance,andgrace,asifshewereconsciousofnothingelse,andhadnootherthoughtorfeeling;and,doubtless,forthemoment,everyothersensationisextinct.