Emmafounditreallytimetobeathome;thevisithadalreadylastedlong;andonexaminingwatches,somuchofthemorningwasperceivedtobegone,thatMrs.Westonandhercompaniontakingleavealso,couldallowthemselvesonlytowalkwiththetwoyoungladiestoHartfieldgates,beforetheysetoffforRandalls.
CHAPTERXI
Itmaybepossibletodowithoutdancingentirely.Instanceshavebeenknownofyoungpeoplepassingmany,manymonthssuccessively,withoutbeingatanyballofanydescription,andnomaterialinjuryaccrueeithertobodyormind;-butwhenabeginningismade-whenthefelicitiesofrapidmotionhaveoncebeen,thoughslightly,felt-itmustbeaveryheavysetthatdoesnotaskformore.
FrankChurchillhaddancedonceatHighbury,andlongedtodanceagain;andthelasthalf-hourofaneveningwhichMr.WoodhousewaspersuadedtospendwithhisdaughteratRandalls,waspassedbythetwoyoungpeopleinschemesonthesubject.Frank\'swasthefirstidea;andhisthegreatestzealinpursuingit;fortheladywasthebestjudgeofthedifficulties,andthemostsolicitousforaccommodationandappearance.ButstillshehadinclinationenoughforshewingpeopleagainhowdelightfullyMr.FrankChurchillandMissWoodhousedanced-fordoingthatinwhichsheneednotblushtocompareherselfwithJaneFairfax-andevenforsimpledancingitself,withoutanyofthewickedaidsofvanity-toassisthimfirstinpacingouttheroomtheywereintoseewhatitcouldbemadetohold-andthenintakingthedimensionsoftheotherparlour,inthehopeofdiscovering,inspiteofallthatMr.Westoncouldsayoftheirexactlyequalsize,thatitwasalittlethelargest.
Hisfirstpropositionandrequest,thatthedancebegunatMr.Cole\'sshouldbefinishedthere-thatthesamepartyshouldbecollected,andthesamemusicianengaged,metwiththereadiestacquiescence.Mr.Westonenteredintotheideawiththoroughenjoyment,andMrs.Westonmostwillinglyundertooktoplayaslongastheycouldwishtodance;andtheinterestingemploymenthadfollowed,ofreckoningupexactlywhotherewouldbe,andportioningouttheindispensabledivisionofspacetoeverycouple.
`YouandMissSmith,andMissFairfax,willbethree,andthetwoMissCoxesfive,\'hadbeenrepeatedmanytimesover.`AndtherewillbethetwoGilberts,youngCox,myfather,andmyself,besidesMr.Knightley.Yes,thatwillbequiteenoughforpleasure.YouandMissSmith,andMissFairfax,willbethree,andthetwoMissCoxesfive;andforfivecoupletherewillbeplentyofroom.\'
Butsoonitcametobeononeside,
`Butwilltherebegoodroomforfivecouple?-Ireallydonotthinktherewill.\'
Onanother,
`Andafterall,fivecouplearenotenoughtomakeitworthwhiletostandup.Fivecouplearenothing,whenonethinksseriouslyaboutit.Itwillnotdotoinvitefivecouple.Itcanbeallowableonlyasthethoughtofthemoment.\'
SomebodysaidthatMissGilbertwasexpectedatherbrother\'s,andmustbeinvitedwiththerest.SomebodyelsebelievedMrs.Gilbertwouldhavedancedtheotherevening,ifshehadbeenasked.AwordwasputinforasecondyoungCox;andatlast,Mr.Westonnamingonefamilyofcousinswhomustbeincluded,andanotherofveryoldacquaintancewhocouldnotbeleftout,itbecameacertaintythatthefivecouplewouldbeatleastten,andaveryinterestingspeculationinwhatpossiblemannertheycouldbedisposedof.
Thedoorsofthetworoomswerejustoppositeeachother.`Mightnottheyusebothrooms,anddanceacrossthepassage?\'Itseemedthebestscheme;andyetitwasnotsogoodbutthatmanyofthemwantedabetter.Emmasaiditwouldbeawkward;Mrs.Westonwasindistressaboutthesupper;andMr.Woodhouseopposeditearnestly,onthescoreofhealth.Itmadehimsoveryunhappy,indeed,thatitcouldnotbeperseveredin.
`Oh!no,\'saidhe;`itwouldbetheextremeofimprudence.IcouldnotbearitforEmma!-Emmaisnotstrong.Shewouldcatchadreadfulcold.SowouldpoorlittleHarriet.Soyouwouldall.Mrs.Weston,youwouldbequitelaidup;donotletthemtalkofsuchawildthing.Praydonotletthemtalkofit.Thatyoungmanspeakinglowerisverythoughtless.Donottellhisfather,butthatyoungmanisnotquitethething.Hehasbeenopeningthedoorsveryoftenthisevening,andkeepingthemopenveryinconsiderately.Hedoesnotthinkofthedraught.Idonotmeantosetyouagainsthim,butindeedheisnotquitethething!\'
Mrs.Westonwassorryforsuchacharge.Sheknewtheimportanceofit,andsaideverythinginherpowertodoitaway.Everydoorwasnowclosed,thepassageplangivenup,andthefirstschemeofdancingonlyintheroomtheywereinresortedtoagain;andwithsuchgood-willonFrankChurchill\'spart,thatthespacewhichaquarterofanhourbeforehadbeendeemedbarelysufficientforfivecouple,wasnowendeavouredtobemadeoutquiteenoughforten.
`Weweretoomagnificent,\'saidhe.`Weallowedunnecessaryroom.Tencouplemaystandhereverywell.\'
Emmademurred.`Itwouldbeacrowd-asadcrowd;andwhatcouldbeworsethandancingwithoutspacetoturnin?\'
`Verytrue,\'hegravelyreplied;`itwasverybad.\'Butstillhewentonmeasuring,andstillheendedwith,
`Ithinktherewillbeverytolerableroomfortencouple.\'
`No,no,\'saidshe,`youarequiteunreasonable.Itwouldbedreadfultobestandingsoclose!Nothingcanbefartherfrompleasurethantobedancinginacrowd-andacrowdinalittleroom!\'
`Thereisnodenyingit,\'hereplied.`Iagreewithyouexactly.Acrowdinalittleroom-MissWoodhouse,youhavetheartofgivingpicturesinafewwords.Exquisite,quiteexquisite!-Still,however,havingproceededsofar,oneisunwillingtogivethematterup.Itwouldbeadisappointmenttomyfather-andaltogether-Idonotknowthat-Iamratherofopinionthattencouplemightstandhereverywell.\'
Emmaperceivedthatthenatureofhisgallantrywasalittleself-willed,andthathewouldratheropposethanlosethepleasureofdancingwithher;butshetookthecompliment,andforgavetherest.Hadsheintendedevertomarryhim,itmighthavebeenworthwhiletopauseandconsider,andtrytounderstandthevalueofhispreference,andthecharacterofhistemper;butforallthepurposesoftheiracquaintance,hewasquiteamiableenough.
Beforethemiddleofthenextday,hewasatHartfield;andheenteredtheroomwithsuchanagreeablesmileascertifiedthecontinuanceofthescheme.Itsoonappearedthathecametoannounceanimprovement.
`Well,MissWoodhouse,\'healmostimmediatelybegan,`yourinclinationfordancinghasnotbeenquitefrightenedaway,Ihope,bytheterrorsofmyfather\'slittlerooms.Ibringanewproposalonthesubject:-athoughtofmyfather\'s,whichwaitsonlyyourapprobationtobeactedupon.MayIhopeforthehonourofyourhandforthetwofirstdancesofthislittleprojectedball,tobegiven,notatRandalls,butattheCrownInn?\'
`TheCrown!\'
`Yes;ifyouandMr.Woodhouseseenoobjection,andItrustyoucannot,myfatherhopeshisfriendswillbesokindastovisithimthere.Betteraccommodations,hecanpromisethem,andnotalessgratefulwelcomethanatRandalls.Itishisownidea.Mrs.Westonseesnoobjectiontoit,providedyouaresatisfied.Thisiswhatweallfeel.Oh!youwereperfectlyright!Tencouple,ineitheroftheRandallsrooms,wouldhavebeeninsufferable!-Dreadful!-Ifelthowrightyouwerethewholetime,butwastooanxiousforsecuringanythingtoliketoyield.Isnotitagoodexchange?-Youconsent-Ihopeyouconsent?\'
`Itappearstomeaplanthatnobodycanobjectto,ifMr.andMrs.Westondonot.Ithinkitadmirable;and,asfarasIcananswerformyself,shallbemosthappy-Itseemstheonlyimprovementthatcouldbe.Papa,doyounotthinkitanexcellentimprovement?\'
Shewasobligedtorepeatandexplainit,beforeitwasfullycomprehended;andthen,beingquitenew,fartherrepresentationswerenecessarytomakeitacceptable.
`No;hethoughtitveryfarfromanimprovement-averybadplan-muchworsethantheother.Aroomataninnwasalwaysdampanddangerous;neverproperlyaired,orfittobeinhabited.Iftheymustdance,theyhadbetterdanceatRandalls.HehadneverbeenintheroomattheCrowninhislife-didnotknowthepeoplewhokeptitbysight-Oh!no-averybadplan.TheywouldcatchworsecoldsattheCrownthananywhere.\'
`Iwasgoingtoobserve,sir,\'saidFrankChurchill,`thatoneofthegreatrecommendationsofthischangewouldbetheverylittledangerofanybody\'scatchingcold-somuchlessdangerattheCrownthanatRandalls!Mr.Perrymighthavereasontoregretthealteration,butnobodyelsecould.\'
`Sir,\'saidMr.Woodhouse,ratherwarmly,`youareverymuchmistakenifyousupposeMr.Perrytobethatsortofcharacter.Mr.Perryisextremelyconcernedwhenanyofusareill.ButIdonotunderstandhowtheroomattheCrowncanbesaferforyouthanyourfather\'shouse.\'
`Fromtheverycircumstanceofitsbeinglarger,sir.Weshallhavenooccasiontoopenthewindowsatall-notoncethewholeevening;anditisthatdreadfulhabitofopeningthewindows,lettingincoldairuponheatedbodies,whichasyouwellknow,sirdoesthemischief.\'
`Openthewindows!-butsurely,Mr.Churchill,nobodywouldthinkofopeningthewindowsatRandalls.Nobodycouldbesoimprudent!Ineverheardofsuchathing.Dancingwithopenwindows!-Iamsure,neitheryourfathernorMrs.WestonpoorMissTaylorthatwaswouldsufferit.\'
`Ah!sir-butathoughtlessyoungpersonwillsometimesstepbehindawindow-curtain,andthrowupasash,withoutitsbeingsuspected.Ihaveoftenknownitdonemyself.\'
`Haveyouindeed,sir?-Blessme!Inevercouldhavesupposedit.ButIliveoutoftheworld,andamoftenastonishedatwhatIhear.However,thisdoesmakeadifference;and,perhaps,whenwecometotalkitover-butthesesortofthingsrequireagooddealofconsideration.Onecannotresolveupontheminahurry.IfMr.andMrs.Westonwillbesoobligingastocallhereonemorning,wemaytalkitover,andseewhatcanbedone.\'
`But,unfortunately,sir,mytimeissolimited-\'
`Oh!\'interruptedEmma,`therewillbeplentyoftimefortalkingeverythingover.Thereisnohurryatall.IfitcanbecontrivedtobeattheCrown,papa,itwillbeveryconvenientforthehorses.Theywillbesoneartheirownstable.\'
`Sotheywill,mydear.Thatisagreatthing.NotthatJamesevercomplains;butitisrighttospareourhorseswhenwecan.IfIcouldbesureoftheroomsbeingthoroughlyaired-butisMrs.Stokestobetrusted?Idoubtit.Idonotknowher,evenbysight.\'
`Icananswerforeverythingofthatnature,sir,becauseitwillbeunderMrs.Weston\'scare.Mrs.Westonundertakestodirectthewhole.\'
`There,papa!-Nowyoumustbesatisfied-OurowndearMrs.Weston,whoiscarefulnessitself.DonotyourememberwhatMr.Perrysaid,somanyyearsago,whenIhadthemeasles?``IfMissTaylorundertakestowrapMissEmmaup,youneednothaveanyfears,sir.\'\'HowoftenhaveIheardyouspeakofitassuchacomplimenttoher!\'
`Aye,verytrue.Mr.Perrydidsayso.Ishallneverforgetit.PoorlittleEmma!Youwereverybadwiththemeasles;thatis,youwouldhavebeenverybad,butforPerry\'sgreatattention.Hecamefourtimesadayforaweek.Hesaid,fromthefirst,itwasaverygoodsort-whichwasourgreatcomfort;butthemeaslesareadreadfulcomplaint.IhopewheneverpoorIsabella\'slittleoneshavethemeasles,shewillsendforPerry.\'
`MyfatherandMrs.WestonareattheCrownatthismoment,\'saidFrankChurchill,`examiningthecapabilitiesofthehouse.IleftthemthereandcameontoHartfield,impatientforyouropinion,andhopingyoumightbepersuadedtojointhemandgiveyouradviceonthespot.Iwasdesiredtosaysofromboth.Itwouldbethegreatestpleasuretothem,ifyoucouldallowmetoattendyouthere.Theycandonothingsatisfactorilywithoutyou.\'
Emmawasmosthappytobecalledtosuchacouncil;andherfather,engagingtothinkitalloverwhileshewasgone,thetwoyoungpeoplesetofftogetherwithoutdelayfortheCrown.TherewereMr.andMrs.Weston;delightedtoseeherandreceiveherapprobation,verybusyandveryhappyintheirdifferentway;she,insomelittledistress;andhe,findingeverythingperfect.
`Emma,\'saidshe,`thispaperisworsethanIexpected.Look!inplacesyouseeitisdreadfullydirty;andthewainscotismoreyellowandforlornthananythingIcouldhaveimagined.\'
`Mydear,youaretooparticular,\'saidherhusband.`Whatdoesallthatsignify?Youwillseenothingofitbycandlelight.ItwillbeascleanasRandallsbycandlelight.Weneverseeanythingofitonourclub-nights.\'
Theladieshereprobablyexchangedlookswhichmeant,`Menneverknowwhenthingsaredirtyornot;\'andthegentlemenperhapsthoughteachtohimself,`Womenwillhavetheirlittlenonsensesandneedlesscares.\'
Oneperplexity,however,arose,whichthegentlemendidnotdisdain.Itregardedasupper-room.Atthetimeoftheballroom\'sbeingbuilt,suppershadnotbeeninquestion;andasmallcard-roomadjoining,wastheonlyaddition.Whatwastobedone?Thiscard-roomwouldbewantedasacard-roomnow;or,ifcardswereconvenientlyvotedunnecessarybytheirfourselves,stillwasitnottoosmallforanycomfortablesupper?Anotherroomofmuchbettersizemightbesecuredforthepurpose;butitwasattheotherendofthehouse,andalongawkwardpassagemustbegonethroughtogetatit.Thismadeadifficulty.Mrs.Westonwasafraidofdraughtsfortheyoungpeopleinthatpassage;andneitherEmmanorthegentlemencouldtoleratetheprospectofbeingmiserablycrowdedatsupper.
Mrs.Westonproposedhavingnoregularsupper;merelysandwiches,&c.,setoutinthelittleroom;butthatwasscoutedasawretchedsuggestion.Aprivatedance,withoutsittingdowntosupper,waspronouncedaninfamousfraudupontherightsofmenandwomen;andMrs.Westonmustnotspeakofitagain.Shethentookanotherlineofexpediency,andlookingintothedoubtfulroom,observed,
`Idonotthinkitissoverysmall.Weshallnotbemany,youknow.\'
AndMr.Westonatthesametime,walkingbrisklywithlongstepsthroughthepassage,wascallingout,
`Youtalkagreatdealofthelengthofthispassage,mydear.Itisamerenothingafterall;andnottheleastdraughtfromthestairs.\'
`Iwish,\'saidMrs.Weston,`onecouldknowwhicharrangementourguestsingeneralwouldlikebest.Todowhatwouldbemostgenerallypleasingmustbeourobject-ifonecouldbuttellwhatthatwouldbe.\'
`Yes,verytrue,\'criedFrank,`verytrue.Youwantyourneighbours\'opinions.Idonotwonderatyou.Ifonecouldascertainwhatthechiefofthem-theColes,forinstance.Theyarenotfaroff.ShallIcalluponthem?OrMissBates?Sheisstillnearer-AndIdonotknowwhetherMissBatesisnotaslikelytounderstandtheinclinationsoftherestofthepeopleasanybody.Ithinkwedowantalargercouncil.SupposeIgoandinviteMissBatestojoinus?\'
`Well-ifyouplease,\'saidMrs.Westonratherhesitating,`ifyouthinkshewillbeofanyuse.\'
`YouwillgetnothingtothepurposefromMissBates,\'saidEmma.`Shewillbealldelightandgratitude,butshewilltellyounothing.Shewillnotevenlistentoyourquestions.IseenoadvantageinconsultingMissBates.\'
`Butsheissoamusing,soextremelyamusing!IamveryfondofhearingMissBatestalk.AndIneednotbringthewholefamily,youknow.\'
HereMr.Westonjoinedthem,andonhearingwhatwasproposed,gaveithisdecidedapprobation.
`Aye,do,Frank-GoandfetchMissBates,andletusendthematteratonce.Shewillenjoythescheme,Iamsure;andIdonotknowapropererpersonforshewingushowtodoawaydifficulties.FetchMissBates.Wearegrowingalittletoonice.Sheisastandinglessonofhowtobehappy.Butfetchthemboth.Invitethemboth.\'
`Bothsir!Cantheoldlady?\'
`Theoldlady!No,theyounglady,tobesure.Ishallthinkyouagreatblockhead,Frank,ifyoubringtheauntwithouttheniece.\'
`Oh!Ibegyourpardon,sir.Ididnotimmediatelyrecollect.Undoubtedlyifyouwishit,Iwillendeavourtopersuadethemboth.\'Andawayheran.
Longbeforehereappeared,attendingtheshort,neat,brisk-movingaunt,andherelegantniece,-Mrs.Weston,likeasweet-temperedwomanandagoodwife,hadexaminedthepassageagain,andfoundtheevilsofitmuchlessthanshehadsupposedbefore-indeedverytrifling;andhereendedthedifficultiesofdecision.Alltherest,inspeculationatleast,wasperfectlysmooth.Alltheminorarrangementsoftableandchair,lightsandmusic,teaandsupper,madethemselves;orwereleftasmeretriflestobesettledatanytimebetweenMrs.WestonandMrs.Stokes-Everybodyinvited,wascertainlytocome;FrankhadalreadywrittentoEnscombetoproposestayingafewdaysbeyondhisfortnight,whichcouldnotpossiblyberefused.Andadelightfuldanceitwastobe.
Mostcordially,whenMissBatesarrived,didsheagreethatitmust.Asacounsellorshewasnotwanted;butasanapprover,amuchsafercharacter,shewastrulywelcome.Herapprobation,atoncegeneralandminute,warmandincessant,couldnotbutplease;andforanotherhalf-hourtheywereallwalkingtoandfro,betweenthedifferentrooms,somesuggesting,someattending,andallinhappyenjoymentofthefuture.ThepartydidnotbreakupwithoutEmma\'sbeingpositivelysecuredforthetwofirstdancesbytheherooftheevening,norwithoutheroverhearingMr.Westonwhispertohiswife,`Hehasaskedher,mydear.That\'sright.Iknewhewould!\'
CHAPTERXII
OnethingonlywaswantingtomaketheprospectoftheballcompletelysatisfactorytoEmma-itsbeingfixedforadaywithinthegrantedtermofFrankChurchill\'sstayinSurry;for,inspiteofMr.Weston\'sconfidence,shecouldnotthinkitsoveryimpossiblethattheChurchillsmightnotallowtheirnephewtoremainadaybeyondhisfortnight.Butthiswasnotjudgedfeasible.Thepreparationsmusttaketheirtime,nothingcouldbeproperlyreadytillthethirdweekwereenteredon,andforafewdaystheymustbeplanning,proceedingandhopinginuncertainty-attherisk-inheropinion,thegreatrisk,ofitsbeingallinvain.
Enscombehoweverwasgracious,graciousinfact,ifnotinword.Hiswishofstayinglongerevidentlydidnotplease;butitwasnotopposed.Allwassafeandprosperous;andastheremovalofonesolicitudegenerallymakeswayforanother,Emma,beingnowcertainofherball,begantoadoptasthenextvexationMr.Knightley\'sprovokingindifferenceaboutit.Eitherbecausehedidnotdancehimself,orbecausetheplanhadbeenformedwithouthisbeingconsulted,heseemedresolvedthatitshouldnotinteresthim,determinedagainstitsexcitinganypresentcuriosity,oraffordinghimanyfutureamusement.TohervoluntarycommunicationsEmmacouldgetnomoreapprovingreply,than,
`Verywell.IftheWestonsthinkitworthwhiletobeatallthistroubleforafewhoursofnoisyentertainment,Ihavenothingtosayagainstit,butthattheyshallnotchusepleasuresforme-Oh!yes,Imustbethere;Icouldnotrefuse;andIwillkeepasmuchawakeasIcan;butIwouldratherbeathome,lookingoverWilliamLarkins\'sweek\'saccount;muchrather,Iconfess-Pleasureinseeingdancing!-notI,indeed-Ineverlookatit-Idonotknowwhodoes-Finedancing,Ibelieve,likevirtue,mustbeitsownreward.Thosewhoarestandingbyareusuallythinkingofsomethingverydifferent.\'
ThisEmmafeltwasaimedather;anditmadeherquiteangry.ItwasnotincomplimenttoJaneFairfaxhoweverthathewassoindifferent,orsoindignant;hewasnotguidedbyherfeelingsinreprobatingtheball,forsheenjoyedthethoughtofittoanextraordinarydegree.Itmadeheranimated-openhearted-shevoluntarilysaid;-
`Oh!MissWoodhouse,Ihopenothingmayhappentopreventtheball.Whatadisappointmentitwouldbe!Idolookforwardtoit,Iown,withverygreatpleasure.\'
ItwasnottoobligeJaneFairfaxthereforethathewouldhavepreferredthesocietyofWilliamLarkins.No!-shewasmoreandmoreconvincedthatMrs.Westonwasquitemistakeninthatsurmise.Therewasagreatdealoffriendlyandofcompassionateattachmentonhisside-butnolove.
Alas!therewassoonnoleisureforquarrellingwithMr.Knightley.Twodaysofjoyfulsecuritywereimmediatelyfollowedbytheover-throwofeverything.AletterarrivedfromMr.Churchilltourgehisnephew\'sinstantreturn.Mrs.Churchillwasunwell-fartoounwelltodowithouthim;shehadbeeninaverysufferingstatesosaidherhusbandwhenwritingtohernephewtwodaysbefore,thoughfromherusualunwillingnesstogivepain,andconstanthabitofneverthinkingofherself,shehadnotmentionedit;butnowshewastooilltotrifle,andmustentreathimtosetoffforEnscombewithoutdelay.
ThesubstanceofthisletterwasforwardedtoEmma,inanotefromMrs.Weston,instantly.Astohisgoing,itwasinevitable.Hemustbegonewithinafewhours,thoughwithoutfeelinganyrealalarmforhisaunt,tolessenhisrepugnance.Heknewherillnesses;theyneveroccurredbutforherownconvenience.
Mrs.Westonadded,`thathecouldonlyallowhimselftimetohurrytoHighbury,afterbreakfast,andtakeleaveofthefewfriendstherewhomhecouldsupposetofeelanyinterestinhim;andthathemightbeexpectedatHartfieldverysoon.\'
ThiswretchednotewasthefinaleofEmma\'sbreakfast.Whenonceithadbeenread,therewasnodoinganything,butlamentandexclaim.Thelossoftheball-thelossoftheyoungman-andallthattheyoungmanmightbefeeling!-Itwastoowretched!-Suchadelightfuleveningasitwouldhavebeen!-Everybodysohappy!andsheandherpartnerthehappiest!-`Isaiditwouldbeso,\'wastheonlyconsolation.
Herfather\'sfeelingswerequitedistinct.HethoughtprincipallyofMrs.Churchill\'sillness,andwantedtoknowhowshewastreated;andasfortheball,itwasshockingtohavedearEmmadisappointed;buttheywouldallbesaferathome.
Emmawasreadyforhervisitorsometimebeforeheappeared;butifthisreflectedatalluponhisimpatience,hissorrowfullookandtotalwantofspiritswhenhedidcomemightredeemhim.Hefeltthegoingawayalmosttoomuchtospeakofit.Hisdejectionwasmostevident.Hesatreallylostinthoughtforthefirstfewminutes;andwhenrousinghimself,itwasonlytosay,
`Ofallhorridthings,leave-takingistheworst.\'
`Butyouwillcomeagain,\'saidEmma.`ThiswillnotbeyouronlyvisittoRandalls.\'
`Ah!-shakinghishead-theuncertaintyofwhenImaybeabletoreturn!-Ishalltryforitwithazeal!-Itwillbetheobjectofallmythoughtsandcares!-andifmyuncleandauntgototownthisspring-butIamafraid-theydidnotstirlastspring-Iamafraiditisacustomgoneforever.\'
`Ourpoorballmustbequitegivenup.\'
`Ah!thatball!-whydidwewaitforanything?-whynotseizethepleasureatonce?-Howoftenishappinessdestroyedbypreparation,foolishpreparation!-Youtoldusitwouldbeso-Oh!MissWoodhouse,whyareyoualwayssoright?\'
`Indeed,Iamverysorrytoberightinthisinstance.Iwouldmuchratherhavebeenmerrythanwise.\'
`IfIcancomeagain,wearestilltohaveourball.Myfatherdependsonit.Donotforgetyourengagement.\'
Emmalookedgraciously.
`Suchafortnightasithasbeen!\'hecontinued;`everydaymorepreciousandmoredelightfulthanthedaybefore!-everydaymakingmelessfittobearanyotherplace.Happythose,whocanremainatHighbury!\'
`Asyoudoussuchamplejusticenow,\'saidEmma,laughing,`Iwillventuretoask,whetheryoudidnotcomealittledoubtfullyatfirst?Donotwerathersurpassyourexpectations?Iamsurewedo.Iamsureyoudidnotmuchexpecttolikeus.Youwouldnothavebeensolongincoming,ifyouhadhadapleasantideaofHighbury.\'
Helaughedratherconsciously;andthoughdenyingthesentiment,Emmawasconvincedthatithadbeenso.
`Andyoumustbeoffthisverymorning?\'
`Yes;myfatheristojoinmehere:weshallwalkbacktogether,andImustbeoffimmediately.Iamalmostafraidthateverymomentwillbringhim.\'
`NotfiveminutestospareevenforyourfriendsMissFairfaxandMissBates?Howunlucky!MissBates\'spowerful,argumentativemindmighthavestrengthenedyours.\'
`Yes-Ihavecalledthere;passingthedoor,Ithoughtitbetter.Itwasarightthingtodo.Iwentinforthreeminutes,andwasdetainedbyMissBates\'sbeingabsent.Shewasout;andIfeltitimpossiblenottowaittillshecamein.Sheisawomanthatonemay,thatonemustlaughat;butthatonewouldnotwishtoslight.Itwasbettertopaymyvisit,then\'-
Hehesitated,gotup,walkedtoawindow.
`Inshort,\'saidhe,`perhaps,MissWoodhouse-Ithinkyoucanhardlybequitewithoutsuspicion\'-
Helookedather,asifwantingtoreadherthoughts.Shehardlyknewwhattosay.Itseemedliketheforerunnerofsomethingabsolutelyserious,whichshedidnotwish.Forcingherselftospeak,therefore,inthehopeofputtingitby,shecalmlysaid,
`Youarequiteintheright;itwasmostnaturaltopayyourvisit,then\'-
Hewassilent.Shebelievedhewaslookingather;probablyreflectingonwhatshehadsaid,andtryingtounderstandthemanner.Sheheardhimsigh.Itwasnaturalforhimtofeelthathehadcausetosigh.Hecouldnotbelievehertobeencouraginghim.Afewawkwardmomentspassed,andhesatdownagain;andinamoredeterminedmannersaid,
`ItwassomethingtofeelthatalltherestofmytimemightbegiventoHartfield.MyregardforHartfieldismostwarm\'-
Hestoptagain,roseagain,andseemedquiteembarrassed-HewasmoreinlovewithherthanEmmahadsupposed;andwhocansayhowitmighthaveended,ifhisfatherhadnotmadehisappearance?Mr.Woodhousesoonfollowed;andthenecessityofexertionmadehimcomposed.
Averyfewminutesmore,however,completedthepresenttrial.Mr.Weston,alwaysalertwhenbusinesswastobedone,andasincapableofprocrastinatinganyevilthatwasinevitable,asofforeseeinganythatwasdoubtful,said,`Itwastimetogo;\'andtheyoungman,thoughhemightanddidsigh,couldnotbutagree,totakeleave.
`Ishallhearaboutyouall,\'saidhe;thatismychiefconsolation.Ishallhearofeverythingthatisgoingonamongyou.IhaveengagedMrs.Westontocorrespondwithme.Shehasbeensokindastopromiseit.Oh!theblessingofafemalecorrespondent,whenoneisreallyinterestedintheabsent!-shewilltellmeeverything.InherlettersIshallbeatdearHighburyagain.\'
Averyfriendlyshakeofthehand,averyearnest`Good-bye,\'closedthespeech,andthedoorhadsoonshutoutFrankChurchill.Shorthadbeenthenotice-shorttheirmeeting;hewasgone;andEmmafeltsosorrytopart,andforesawsogreatalosstotheirlittlesocietyfromhisabsenceastobegintobeafraidofbeingtoosorry,andfeelingittoomuch.
Itwasasadchange.Theyhadbeenmeetingalmosteverydaysincehisarrival.CertainlyhisbeingatRandallshadgivengreatspirittothelasttwoweeks-indescribablespirit;theidea,theexpectationofseeinghimwhicheverymorninghadbrought,theassuranceofhisattentions,hisliveliness,hismanners!Ithadbeenaveryhappyfortnight,andforlornmustbethesinkingfromitintothecommoncourseofHartfielddays.Tocompleteeveryotherrecommendation,hehadalmosttoldherthathelovedher.Whatstrength,orwhatconstancyofaffectionhemightbesubjectto,wasanotherpoint;butatpresentshecouldnotdoubthishavingadecidedlywarmadmiration,aconsciouspreferenceofherself;andthispersuasion,joinedtoalltherest,madeherthinkthatshemustbealittleinlovewithhim,inspiteofeverypreviousdeterminationagainstit.
`Icertainlymust,\'saidshe.`Thissensationoflistlessness,weariness,stupidity,thisdisinclinationtositdownandemploymyself,thisfeelingofeverything\'sbeingdullandinsipidaboutthehouse!-Imustbeinlove;IshouldbetheoddestcreatureintheworldifIwerenot-forafewweeksatleast.Well!eviltosomeisalwaysgoodtoothers.Ishallhavemanyfellow-mournersfortheball,ifnotforFrankChurchill;butMr.Knightleywillbehappy.HemayspendtheeveningwithhisdearWilliamLarkinsnowifhelikes.\'
Mr.Knightley,however,shewednotriumphanthappiness.Hecouldnotsaythathewassorryonhisownaccount;hisverycheerfullookwouldhavecontradictedhimifhehad;buthesaid,andverysteadily,thathewassorryforthedisappointmentoftheothers,andwithconsiderablekindnessadded,
`You,Emma,whohavesofewopportunitiesofdancing,youarereallyoutofluck;youareverymuchoutofluck!\'
ItwassomedaysbeforeshesawJaneFairfax,tojudgeofherhonestregretinthiswoefulchange;butwhentheydidmeet,hercomposurewasodious.Shehadbeenparticularlyunwell,however,sufferingfromheadachetoadegree,whichmadeherauntdeclare,thathadtheballtakenplace,shedidnotthinkJanecouldhaveattendedit;anditwascharitytoimputesomeofherunbecomingindifferencetothelanguorofill-health.
CHAPTERXIII
Emmacontinuedtoentertainnodoubtofherbeinginlove.Herideasonlyvariedastothehowmuch.Atfirst,shethoughtitwasagooddeal;andafterwards,butlittle.ShehadgreatpleasureinhearingFrankChurchilltalkedof;and,forhissake,greaterpleasurethaneverinseeingMr.andMrs.Weston;shewasveryoftenthinkingofhim,andquiteimpatientforaletter,thatshemightknowhowhewas,howwerehisspirits,howwashisaunt,andwhatwasthechanceofhiscomingtoRandallsagainthisspring.But,ontheotherhand,shecouldnotadmitherselftobeunhappy,nor,afterthefirstmorning,tobelessdisposedforemploymentthanusual;shewasstillbusyandcheerful;and,pleasingashewas,shecouldyetimaginehimtohavefaults;andfarther,thoughthinkingofhimsomuch,and,asshesatdrawingorworking,formingathousandamusingschemesfortheprogressandcloseoftheirattachment,fancyinginterestingdialogues,andinventingelegantletters;theconclusionofeveryimaginarydeclarationonhissidewasthatsherefusedhim.Theiraffectionwasalwaystosubsideintofriendship.Everythingtenderandcharmingwastomarktheirparting;butstilltheyweretopart.Whenshebecamesensibleofthis,itstruckherthatshecouldnotbeverymuchinlove;forinspiteofherpreviousandfixeddeterminationnevertoquitherfather,nevertomarry,astrongattachmentcertainlymustproducemoreofastrugglethanshecouldforeseeinherownfeelings.
`Idonotfindmyselfmakinganyuseofthewordsacrifice,\'saidshe-`Innotoneofallmycleverreplies,mydelicatenegatives,isthereanyallusiontomakingasacrifice.Idosuspectthatheisnotreallynecessarytomyhappiness.Somuchthebetter.IcertainlywillnotpersuademyselftofeelmorethanIdo.Iamquiteenoughinlove.Ishouldbesorrytobemore.\'
Uponthewhole,shewasequallycontentedwithherviewofhisfeelings.
`Heisundoubtedlyverymuchinlove-everythingdenotesit-verymuchinloveindeed!-andwhenhecomesagain,ifhisaffectioncontinue,Imustbeonmyguardnottoencourageit-Itwouldbemostinexcusabletodootherwise,asmyownmindisquitemadeup.NotthatIimaginehecanthinkIhavebeenencouraginghimhitherto.No,ifhehadbelievedmeatalltosharehisfeelings,hewouldnothavebeensowretched.Couldhehavethoughthimselfencouraged,hislooksandlanguageatpartingwouldhavebeendifferent-Still,however,Imustbeonmyguard.Thisisinthesuppositionofhisattachmentcontinuingwhatitnowis;butIdonotknowthatIexpectitwill;Idonotlookuponhimtobequitethesortofman-Idonotaltogetherbuilduponhissteadinessorconstancy-Hisfeelingsarewarm,butIcanimaginethemratherchangeable-Everyconsiderationofthesubject,inshort,makesmethankfulthatmyhappinessisnotmoredeeplyinvolved-Ishalldoverywellagainafteralittlewhile-andthen,itwillbeagoodthingover;fortheysayeverybodyisinloveonceintheirlives,andIshallhavebeenletoffeasily.\'
WhenhislettertoMrs.Westonarrived,Emmahadtheperusalofit;andshereaditwithadegreeofpleasureandadmirationwhichmadeheratfirstshakeherheadoverherownsensations,andthinkshehadundervaluedtheirstrength.Itwasalong,well-writtenletter,givingtheparticularsofhisjourneyandofhisfeelings,expressingalltheaffection,gratitude,andrespectwhichwasnaturalandhonourable,anddescribingeverythingexteriorandlocalthatcouldbesupposedattractive,withspiritandprecision.Nosuspiciousflourishesnowofapologyorconcern;itwasthelanguageofrealfeelingtowardsMrs.Weston;andthetransitionfromHighburytoEnscombe,thecontrastbetweentheplacesinsomeofthefirstblessingsofsociallifewasjustenoughtouchedontoshewhowkeenlyitwasfelt,andhowmuchmoremighthavebeensaidbutfortherestraintsofpropriety-Thecharmofherownnamewasnotwanting.MissWoodhouseappearedmorethanonce,andneverwithoutasomethingofpleasingconnexion,eitheracomplimenttohertaste,oraremembranceofwhatshehadsaid;andintheverylasttimeofitsmeetinghereye,unadornedasitwasbyanysuchbroadwreathofgallantry,sheyetcoulddiscerntheeffectofherinfluenceandacknowledgethegreatestcomplimentperhapsofallconveyed.Compressedintotheverylowestvacantcornerwerethesewords-`IhadnotasparemomentonTuesday,asyouknow,forMissWoodhouse\'sbeautifullittlefriend.Praymakemyexcusesandadieustoher.\'This,Emmacouldnotdoubt,wasallforherself.Harrietwasrememberedonlyfrombeingherfriend.HisinformationandprospectsastoEnscombewereneitherworsenorbetterthanhadbeenanticipated;Mrs.Churchillwasrecovering,andhedarednotyet,eveninhisownimagination,fixatimeforcomingtoRandallsagain.
Gratifying,however,andstimulativeaswastheletterinthematerialpart,itssentiments,sheyetfound,whenitwasfoldedupandreturnedtoMrs.Weston,thatithadnotaddedanylastingwarmth,thatshecouldstilldowithoutthewriter,andthathemustlearntodowithouther.Herintentionswereunchanged.Herresolutionofrefusalonlygrewmoreinterestingbytheadditionofaschemeforhissubsequentconsolationandhappiness.HisrecollectionofHarriet,andthewordswhichclothedit,the`beautifullittlefriend,\'suggestedtohertheideaofHarriet\'ssucceedingherinhisaffections.Wasitimpossible?-No-Harrietundoubtedlywasgreatlyhisinferiorinunderstanding;buthehadbeenverymuchstruckwiththelovelinessofherfaceandthewarmsimplicityofhermanner;andalltheprobabilitiesofcircumstanceandconnexionwereinherfavour-ForHarriet,itwouldbeadvantageousanddelightfulindeed.
d,consideringwhatIhavebeenusedto.Mygreatestdanger,perhaps,inhousekeeping,maybequitetheotherway,indoingtoomuch,andbeingtoocarelessofexpense.MapleGrovewillprobablybemymodelmorethanitoughttobe-forwedonotatallaffecttoequalmybrother,Mr.Suckling,inincome-However,myresolutionistakenastonoticingJaneFairfax-Ishallcertainlyhaveherveryoftenatmyhouse,shallintroduceherwhereverIcan,shallhavemusicalpartiestodrawouthertalents,andshallbeconstantlyonthewatchforaneligiblesituation.Myacquaintanceissoveryextensive,thatIhavelittledoubtofhearingofsomethingtosuithershortly-I`Imustnotdwelluponit,\'saidshe-`Imustnotthinkofit.Iknowthedangerofindulgingsuchspeculations.Butstrangerthingshavehappened;andwhenweceasetocareforeachotheraswedonow,itwillbethemeansofconfirmingusinthatsortoftruedisinterestedfriendshipwhichIcanalreadylookforwardtowithpleasure.\'
ItwaswelltohaveacomfortinstoreonHarriet\'sbehalf,thoughitmightbewisetoletthefancytouchitseldom;forevilinthatquarterwasathand.AsFrankChurchill\'sarrivalhadsucceededMr.Elton\'sengagementintheconversationofHighbury,asthelatestinteresthadentirelybornedownthefirst,sonowuponFrankChurchill\'sdisappearance,Mr.Elton\'sconcernswereassumingthemostirresistibleform-Hiswedding-daywasnamed.Hewouldsoonbeamongthemagain;Mr.Eltonandhisbride.TherewashardlytimetotalkoverthefirstletterfromEnscombebefore`Mr.Eltonandhisbride\'wasineverybody\'smouth,andFrankChurchillwasforgotten.Emmagrewsickatthesound.ShehadhadthreeweeksofhappyexemptionfromMr.Elton;andHarriet\'smind,shehadbeenwillingtohope,hadbeenlatelygainingstrength.WithMr.Weston\'sballinviewatleast,therehadbeenagreatdealofinsensibilitytootherthings;butitwasnowtooevidentthatshehadnotattainedsuchastateofcomposureascouldstandagainsttheactualapproach-newcarriage,bell-ringing,andall.