Insteadoflettinggohedrewherclosertohim。\"Tellmetheparticularsof——mymother’sdeath，\"hesaidinahard，pantingwhisper；\"or——I’ll——I’ll——\"
\"Clym，\"sheansweredslowly，\"doyouthinkyoudaredoanythingtomethatIdarenotbear？Butbeforeyoustrikemelisten。Youwillgetnothingfrommebyablow，eventhoughitshouldkillme，asitprobablywill。
Butperhapsyoudonotwishmetospeak——killingmaybeallyoumean？\"
\"Killyou！Doyouexpectit？\"
\"Ido。\"
\"Why？\"
\"Nolessdegreeofrageagainstmewillmatchyourpreviousgriefforher。\"
\"Phew——Ishallnotkillyou，\"hesaidcontemptuously，asifunderasuddenchangeofpurpose。\"Ididthinkofit；
but——Ishallnot。Thatwouldbemakingamartyrofyou，andsendingyoutowheresheis；andIwouldkeepyouawayfromhertilltheuniversecometoanend，ifIcould。\"
\"Ialmostwishyouwouldkillme，\"saidshewithgloomybitterness。\"Itiswithnostrongdesire，Iassureyou，thatIplaythepartIhavelatelyplayedonearth。
Youarenoblessing，myhusband。\"
\"Youshutthedoor——youlookedoutofthewindowuponher——youhadamaninthehousewithyou——yousentherawaytodie。Theinhumanity——thetreachery——Iwillnottouchyou——standawayfromme——andconfesseveryword！\"
\"Never！I’llholdmytongueliketheverydeaththatI
don’tmindmeeting，eventhoughIcanclearmyselfofhalfyoubelievebyspeaking。Yes。Iwill！Whoofanydignitywouldtakethetroubletoclearcobwebsfromawildman’smindaftersuchlanguageasthis？No；
lethimgoon，andthinkhisnarrowthoughts，andrunhisheadintothemire。Ihaveothercares。\"
\"’Tistoomuch——butImustspareyou。\"
\"Poorcharity。\"
\"Bymywretchedsoulyoustingme，Eustacia！Icankeepitup，andhotlytoo。Now，then，madam，tellmehisname！\"
\"Never，Iamresolved。\"
\"Howoftendoeshewritetoyou？Wheredoesheputhisletters——whendoeshemeetyou？Ah，hisletters！Doyoutellmehisname？\"
\"Idonot。\"
\"ThenI’llfinditmyself。\"Hiseyeshadfallenuponasmalldeskthatstoodnear，onwhichshewasaccustomedtowriteherletters。Hewenttoit。Itwaslocked。
\"Unlockthis！\"
\"Youhavenorighttosayit。That’smine。\"
Withoutanotherwordheseizedthedeskanddashedittothefloor。Thehingeburstopen，andanumberofletterstumbledout。
\"Stay！\"saidEustacia，steppingbeforehimwithmoreexcitementthanshehadhithertoshown。
\"Come，come！standaway！Imustseethem。\"
Shelookedatthelettersastheylay，checkedherfeelingandmovedindifferentlyaside；whenhegatheredthemup，andexaminedthem。
Bynostretchofmeaningcouldanybutaharmlessconstructionbeplaceduponasingleoneofthelettersthemselves。
Thesolitaryexceptionwasanemptyenvelopedirectedtoher，andthehandwritingwasWildeve’s。Yeobrighthelditup。
Eustaciawasdoggedlysilent。
\"Canyouread，madam？Lookatthisenvelope。Doubtlessweshallfindmoresoon，andwhatwasinsidethem。
Ishallnodoubtbegratifiedbylearningingoodtimewhatawell—finishedandfull—blownadeptinacertaintrademyladyis。\"
\"Doyousayittome——doyou？\"shegasped。
Hesearchedfurther，butfoundnothingmore。\"Whatwasinthisletter？\"hesaid。
\"Askthewriter。AmIyourhoundthatyoushouldtalktomeinthisway？\"
\"Doyoubraveme？doyoustandmeout，mistress？Answer。
Don’tlookatmewiththoseeyesifyouwouldbewitchmeagain！SoonerthanthatIdie。Yourefusetoanswer？\"
\"Iwouldn’ttellyouafterthis，ifIwereasinnocentasthesweetestbabeinheaven！\"
\"Whichyouarenot。\"
\"CertainlyIamnotabsolutely，\"shereplied。\"Ihavenotdonewhatyousuppose；butiftohavedonenoharmatallistheonlyinnocencerecognized，Iambeyondforgiveness。
ButIrequirenohelpfromyourconscience。\"
\"Youcanresist，andresistagain！InsteadofhatingyouIcould，Ithink，mournforandpityyou，ifyouwerecontrite，andwouldconfessall。ForgiveyouI
nevercan。Idon’tspeakofyourlover——Iwillgiveyouthebenefitofthedoubtinthatmatter，foritonlyaffectsmepersonally。Buttheother——hadyouhalf—killedme，haditbeenthatyouwilfullytookthesightawayfromthesefeebleeyesofmine，Icouldhaveforgivenyou。
ButTHAT’Stoomuchfornature！\"
\"Saynomore。Iwilldowithoutyourpity。ButIwouldhavesavedyoufromutteringwhatyouwillregret。\"
\"Iamgoingawaynow。Ishallleaveyou。\"
\"Youneednotgo，asIamgoingmyself。Youwillkeepjustasfarawayfrommebystayinghere。\"
\"Callhertomind——thinkofher——whatgoodnesstherewasinher——itshowedineverylineofherface！Mostwomen，evenwhenbutslightlyannoyed，showaflickerofevilinsomecurlofthemouthorsomecornerofthecheek；
butasforher，neverinherangriestmomentswasthereanythingmaliciousinherlook。Shewasangeredquickly，butsheforgavejustasreadily，andunderneathherpridetherewasthemeeknessofachild。Whatcameofit。？——whatcaredyou？Youhatedherjustasshewaslearningtoloveyou。
O！couldn’tyouseewhatwasbestforyou，butmustbringacurseuponme，andagonyanddeathuponher，bydoingthatcrueldeed！Whatwasthefellow’snamewhowaskeepingyoucompanyandcausingyoutoaddcrueltytohertoyourwrongtome？WasitWildeve？WasitpoorThomasin’shusband？Heaven，whatwickedness！Lostyourvoice，haveyou？Itisnaturalafterdetectionofthatmostnobletrick……Eustacia，didn’tanytenderthoughtofyourownmotherleadyoutothinkofbeinggentletomineatsuchatimeofweariness？Didnotonegrainofpityenteryourheartassheturnedaway？Thinkwhatavastopportunitywasthenlostofbeginningaforgivingandhonestcourse。
Whydidnotyoukickhimout，andletherin，andsayI’llbeanhonestwifeandanoblewomanfromthishour？HadI
toldyoutogoandquencheternallyourlastflickeringchanceofhappinesshereyoucouldhavedonenoworse。
Well，she’sasleepnow；andhaveyouahundredgallants，neithertheynoryoucaninsultheranymore。\"
\"Youexaggeratefearfully，\"shesaidinafaint，wearyvoice；\"butIcannotenterintomydefence——itisnotworthdoing。Youarenothingtomeinfuture，andthepastsideofthestorymayaswellremainuntold。
Ihavelostallthroughyou，butIhavenotcomplained。
Yourblundersandmisfortunesmayhavebeenasorrowtoyou，buttheyhavebeenawrongtome。AllpersonsofrefinementhavebeenscaredawayfrommesinceIsankintothemireofmarriage。Isthisyourcherishing——toputmeintoahutlikethis，andkeepmelikethewifeofahind？Youdeceivedme——notbywords，butbyappearances，whicharelessseenthroughthanwords。Buttheplacewillserveaswellasanyother——assomewheretopassfrom——intomygrave。\"
Herwordsweresmotheredinherthroat，andherheaddroopeddown。
\"Idon’tknowwhatyoumeanbythat。AmIthecauseofyoursin？\"（Eustaciamadeatremblingmotiontowardshim。）
\"What，youcanbegintoshedtearsandoffermeyourhand？GoodGod！canyou？No，notI。I’llnotcommitthefaultoftakingthat。\"（Thehandshehadoffereddroppednervelessly，butthetearscontinuedflowing。）
\"Well，yes，I’lltakeit，ifonlyforthesakeofmyownfoolishkissesthatwerewastedtherebeforeIknewwhatIcherished。HowbewitchedIwas！Howcouldtherebeanygoodinawomanthateverybodyspokeillof？\"
\"O，O，O！\"shecried，breakingdownatlast；and，shakingwithsobswhichchokedher，shesankuponherknees。
\"O，willyouhavedone！O，youaretoorelentless——there’salimittothecrueltyofsavages！Ihaveheldoutlong——butyoucrushmedown。Ibegformercy——Icannotbearthisanylonger——itisinhumantogofurtherwiththis！IfI
had——killedyour——motherwithmyownhand——Ishouldnotdeservesuchascourgingtotheboneasthis。O，O！Godhavemercyuponamiserablewoman！……Youhavebeatenmeinthisgame——Ibegyoutostayyourhandinpity！……IconfessthatI——wilfullydidnotundothedoorthefirsttimesheknocked——but——Ishouldhaveunfasteneditthesecond——
ifIhadnotthoughtyouhadgonetodoityourself。
WhenIfoundyouhadnotIopenedit，butshewasgone。
That’stheextentofmycrime——towardsHER。Bestnaturescommitbadfaultssometimes，don’tthey？——Ithinktheydo。
NowIwillleaveyou——foreverandever！\"
\"Tellall，andIWILLpityyou。WasthemaninthehousewithyouWildeve？\"
\"Icannottell，\"shesaiddesperatelythroughhersobbing。
\"Don’tinsistfurther——Icannottell。Iamgoingfromthishouse。Wecannotbothstayhere。\"
\"Youneednotgo——Iwillgo。Youcanstayhere。\"
\"No，Iwilldress，andthenIwillgo。\"
\"Where？\"
\"WhereIcamefrom，orELSEWHERE。\"
Shehastilydressedherself，Yeobrightmoodilywalkingupanddowntheroomthewholeofthetime。
Atlastallherthingswereon。Herlittlehandsquiveredsoviolentlyassheheldthemtoherchintofastenherbonnetthatshecouldnottiethestrings，andafterafewmomentssherelinquishedtheattempt。
Seeingthishemovedforwardandsaid，\"Letmetiethem。\"
Sheassentedinsilence，andliftedherchin。Foronceatleastinherlifeshewastotallyobliviousofthecharmofherattitude。Buthewasnot，andheturnedhiseyesaside，thathemightnotbetemptedtosoftness。
Thestringsweretied；sheturnedfromhim。\"Doyoustillprefergoingawayyourselftomyleavingyou？\"
heinquiredagain。
\"Ido。\"
\"Verywell——letitbe。AndwhenyouwillconfesstothemanImaypityyou。\"
Sheflunghershawlaboutherandwentdownstairs，leavinghimstandingintheroom。
Eustaciahadnotlongbeengonewhentherecameaknockatthedoorofthebedroom；andYeobrightsaid，\"Well？\"
Itwastheservant；andshereplied，\"SomebodyfromMrs。Wildeve’shavecalledtotell’eethatthemis’essandthebabyaregettingonwonderfulwell，andthebaby’snameistobeEustaciaClementine。\"Andthegirlretired。
\"Whatamockery！\"saidClym。\"Thisunhappymarriageofminetobeperpetuatedinthatchild’sname！\"
4—TheMinistrationsofaHalf—forgottenOneEustacia’sjourneywasatfirstasvagueindirectionasthatofthistledownonthewind。Shedidnotknowwhattodo。
Shewishedithadbeennightinsteadofmorning，thatshemightatleasthavebornehermiserywithoutthepossibilityofbeingseen。Tracingmileaftermilealongbetweenthedyingfernsandthewetwhitespiders’webs，sheatlengthturnedherstepstowardshergrandfather’shouse。
Shefoundthefrontdoorclosedandlocked。Mechanicallyshewentroundtotheendwherethestablewas，andonlookinginatthestabledoorshesawCharleystandingwithin。
\"CaptainVyeisnotathome？\"shesaid。
\"No，ma’am，\"saidtheladinaflutteroffeeling；
\"he’sgonetoWeatherbury，andwon’tbehometillnight。
Andtheservantisgonehomeforaholiday。Sothehouseislockedup。\"
Eustacia’sfacewasnotvisibletoCharleyasshestoodatthedoorway，herbackbeingtothesky，andthestablebutindifferentlylighted；butthewildnessofhermannerarrestedhisattention。Sheturnedandwalkedawayacrosstheenclosuretothegate，andwashiddenbythebank。
WhenshehaddisappearedCharley，withmisgivinginhiseyes，slowlycamefromthestabledoor，andgoingtoanotherpointinthebankhelookedover。
Eustaciawasleaningagainstitontheoutside，herfacecoveredwithherhands，andherheadpressingthedewyheatherwhichbeardedthebank’souterside。
Sheappearedtobeutterlyindifferenttothecircumstancethatherbonnet，hair，andgarmentswerebecomingwetanddisarrangedbythemoistureofhercold，harshpillow。
Clearlysomethingwaswrong。
CharleyhadalwaysregardedEustaciaasEustaciahadregardedClymwhenshefirstbeheldhim——asaromanticandsweetvision，scarcelyincarnate。Hehadbeensoshutofffromherbythedignityofherlookandtheprideofherspeech，exceptatthatoneblissfulintervalwhenhewasallowedtoholdherhand，thathehadhardlydeemedherawoman，winglessandearthly，subjecttohouseholdconditionsanddomesticjars。
Theinnerdetailsofherlifehehadonlyconjectured。
Shehadbeenalovelywonder，predestinedtoanorbitinwhichthewholeofhisownwasbutapoint；andthissightofherleaninglikeahelpless，despairingcreatureagainstawildwetbankfilledhimwithanamazedhorror。
Hecouldnolongerremainwherehewas。Leapingover，hecameup，touchedherwithhisfinger，andsaidtenderly，\"Youarepoorly，ma’am。WhatcanIdo？\"
Eustaciastartedup，andsaid，\"Ah，Charley——youhavefollowedme。YoudidnotthinkwhenIlefthomeinthesummerthatIshouldcomebacklikethis！\"
\"Ididnot，dearma’am。CanIhelpyounow？\"
\"Iamafraidnot。IwishIcouldgetintothehouse。
Ifeelgiddy——that’sall。\"
\"Leanonmyarm，ma’am，tillwegettotheporch，andI
willtrytoopenthedoor。\"
Hesupportedhertotheporch，andtheredepositingheronaseathastenedtotheback，climbedtoawindowbythehelpofaladder，anddescendinginsideopenedthedoor。
Nextheassistedherintotheroom，wheretherewasanold—fashionedhorsehairsetteeaslargeasadonkeywagon。
Shelaydownhere，andCharleycoveredherwithacloakhefoundinthehall。
\"ShallIgetyousomethingtoeatanddrink？\"hesaid。
\"Ifyouplease，Charley。ButIsupposethereisnofire？\"
\"Icanlightit，ma’am。\"
Hevanished，andsheheardasplittingofwoodandablowingofbellows；andpresentlyhereturned，saying，\"Ihavelightedafireinthekitchen，andnowI’lllightonehere。\"
Helitthefire，Eustaciadreamilyobservinghimfromhercouch。Whenitwasblazinguphesaid，\"ShallIwheelyouroundinfrontofit，ma’am，asthemorningischilly？\"
\"Yes，ifyoulike。\"
\"ShallIgoandbringthevictualsnow？\"
\"Yes，do，\"shemurmuredlanguidly。
Whenhehadgone，andthedullsoundsoccasionallyreachedherearsofhismovementsinthekitchen，sheforgotwhereshewas，andhadforamomenttoconsiderbyaneffortwhatthesoundsmeant。Afteranintervalwhichseemedshorttoherwhosethoughtswereelsewhere，hecameinwithatrayonwhichsteamedteaandtoast，thoughitwasnearlylunch—time。
\"Placeitonthetable，\"shesaid。\"Ishallbereadysoon。\"
Hedidso，andretiredtothedoor；when，however，heperceivedthatshedidnotmovehecamebackafewsteps。
\"Letmeholdittoyou，ifyoudon’twishtogetup，\"
saidCharley。Hebroughtthetraytothefrontofthecouch，wherehekneltdown，adding，\"Iwillholditforyou。\"
Eustaciasatupandpouredoutacupoftea。\"Youareverykindtome，Charley，\"shemurmuredasshesipped。
\"Well，Ioughttobe，\"saidhediffidently，takinggreattroublenottoresthiseyesuponher，thoughthiswastheironlynaturalposition，Eustaciabeingimmediatelybeforehim。\"Youhavebeenkindtome。\"
\"HowhaveI？\"saidEustacia。
\"Youletmeholdyourhandwhenyouwereamaidenathome。\"
\"Ah，soIdid。WhydidIdothat？Mymindislost——ithadtodowiththemumming，haditnot？\"
\"Yes，youwantedtogoinmyplace。\"
\"Iremember。Idoindeedremember——toowell！\"
Sheagainbecameutterlydowncast；andCharley，seeingthatshewasnotgoingtoeatordrinkanymore，tookawaythetray。
Afterwardsheoccasionallycameintoseeifthefirewasburning，toaskherifshewantedanything，totellherthatthewindhadshiftedfromsouthtowest，toaskherifshewouldlikehimtogatherhersomeblackberries；
toallwhichinquiriessherepliedinthenegativeorwithindifference。
Sheremainedonthesetteesometimelonger，whenshearousedherselfandwentupstairs。Theroominwhichshehadformerlysleptstillremainedmuchasshehadleftit，andtherecollectionthatthisforceduponherofherowngreatlychangedandinfinitelyworsenedsituationagainsetonherfacetheundeterminedandformlessmiserywhichithadwornonherfirstarrival。
Shepeepedintohergrandfather’sroom，throughwhichthefreshautumnairwasblowingfromtheopenwindow。
Hereyewasarrestedbywhatwasafamiliarsightenough，thoughitbrokeuponhernowwithanewsignificance。
Itwasabraceofpistols，hangingneartheheadofhergrandfather’sbed，whichhealwayskeptthereloaded，asaprecautionagainstpossibleburglars，thehousebeingverylonely。Eustaciaregardedthemlong，asiftheywerethepageofabookinwhichshereadanewandastrangematter。Quickly，likeoneafraidofherself，shereturneddownstairsandstoodindeepthought。
\"IfIcouldonlydoit！\"shesaid。\"Itwouldbedoingmuchgoodtomyselfandallconnectedwithme，andnoharmtoasingleone。\"
Theideaseemedtogatherforcewithinher，andsheremainedinafixedattitudenearlytenminutes，whenacertainfinalitywasexpressedinhergaze，andnolongertheblanknessofindecision。
Sheturnedandwentupthesecondtime——softlyandstealthilynow——andenteredhergrandfather’sroom，hereyesatonceseekingtheheadofthebed。Thepistolsweregone。
Theinstantquashingofherpurposebytheirabsenceaffectedherbrainasasuddenvacuumaffectsthebody——shenearlyfainted。Whohaddonethis？Therewasonlyonepersononthepremisesbesidesherself。
Eustaciainvoluntarilyturnedtotheopenwindowwhichoverlookedthegardenasfarasthebankthatboundedit。OnthesummitofthelatterstoodCharley，sufficientlyelevatedbyitsheighttoseeintotheroom。
Hisgazewasdirectedeagerlyandsolicitouslyuponher。
Shewentdownstairstothedoorandbeckonedtohim。
\"Youhavetakenthemaway？\"
\"Yes，ma’am。\"
\"Whydidyoudoit？\"
\"Isawyoulookingatthemtoolong。\"
\"Whathasthattodowithit？\"
\"Youhavebeenheart—brokenallthemorning，asifyoudidnotwanttolive。\"
\"Well？\"
\"AndIcouldnotbeartoleavetheminyourway。
Therewasmeaninginyourlookatthem。\"
\"Wherearetheynow？\"
\"Lockedup。\"
\"Where？\"
\"Inthestable。\"
\"Givethemtome。\"
\"No，ma’am。\"
\"Yourefuse？\"
\"Ido。Icaretoomuchforyoutogive’emup。\"
Sheturnedaside，herfaceforthefirsttimesofteningfromthestonyimmobilityoftheearlierday，andthecornersofhermouthresumingsomethingofthatdelicacyofcutwhichwasalwayslostinhermomentsofdespair。
Atlastsheconfrontedhimagain。
\"WhyshouldInotdieifIwish？\"shesaidtremulously。
\"Ihavemadeabadbargainwithlife，andIamwearyofit——weary。Andnowyouhavehinderedmyescape。
O，whydidyou，Charley！Whatmakesdeathpainfulexceptthethoughtofothers’grief？——andthatisabsentinmycase，fornotasighwouldfollowme！\"
\"Ah，itistroublethathasdonethis！Iwishinmyverysoulthathewhobroughtitaboutmightdieandrot，evenif’tistransportationtosayit！\"
\"Charley，nomoreofthat。Whatdoyoumeantodoaboutthisyouhaveseen？\"
\"Keepitcloseasnight，ifyoupromisenottothinkofitagain。\"
\"Youneednotfear。Themomenthaspassed。Ipromise。\"
Shethenwentaway，enteredthehouse，andlaydown。
Laterintheafternoonhergrandfatherreturned。
Hewasabouttoquestionhercategorically，butonlookingatherhewithheldhiswords。
\"Yes，itistoobadtotalkof，\"sheslowlyreturnedinanswertohisglance。\"Canmyoldroombegotreadyformetonight，Grandfather？Ishallwanttooccupyitagain。\"
Hedidnotaskwhatitallmeant，orwhyshehadleftherhusband，butorderedtheroomtobeprepared。
5—AnOldMoveInadvertentlyRepeatedCharley’sattentionstohisformermistresswereunbounded。
Theonlysolacetohisowntroublelayinhisattemptstorelievehers。Hourafterhourheconsideredherwants；
hethoughtofherpresencetherewithasortofgratitude，and，whileutteringimprecationsonthecauseofherunhappiness，insomemeasureblessedtheresult。
Perhapsshewouldalwaysremainthere，hethought，andthenhewouldbeashappyashehadbeenbefore。HisdreadwaslestsheshouldthinkfittoreturntoAlderworth，andinthatdreadhiseyes，withalltheinquisitivenessofaffection，frequentlysoughtherfacewhenshewasnotobservinghim，ashewouldhavewatchedtheheadofastockdovetolearnifitcontemplatedflight。
Havingoncereallysuccouredher，andpossiblypreservedherfromtherashestofacts，hementallyassumedinadditionaguardian’sresponsibilityforherwelfare。
Forthisreasonhebusilyendeavouredtoprovideherwithpleasantdistractions，bringinghomecuriousobjectswhichhefoundintheheath，suchaswhitetrumpet—shapedmosses，redheadedlichens，stonearrowheadsusedbytheoldtribesonEgdon，andfacetedcrystalsfromthehollowsofflints。
Thesehedepositedonthepremisesinsuchpositionsthatsheshouldseethemasifbyaccident。
Aweekpassed，Eustacianevergoingoutofthehouse。
Thenshewalkedintotheenclosedplotandlookedthroughhergrandfather’sspyglass，asshehadbeeninthehabitofdoingbeforehermarriage。Onedayshesaw，ataplacewherethehighroadcrossedthedistantvalley，aheavilyladenwagonpassingalong。Itwaspiledwithhouseholdfurniture。Shelookedagainandagain，andrecognizedittobeherown。IntheeveninghergrandfathercameindoorswitharumourthatYeobrighthadremovedthatdayfromAlderworthtotheoldhouseatBlooms—End。