第26章
加入书架 A- A+
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  Bythistimeshehadrisen;andtheyinvoluntarilysaunteredontogether,withoutspeaking,fortwoorthreeminutes;

  whenEustaciabrokesilencebysaying,\"IassumeImustcongratulateyou。\"

  \"Onwhat?Oyes;onmyeleventhousandpounds,youmean。Well,sinceIdidn’tgetsomethingelse,Imustbecontentwithgettingthat。\"

  \"Youseemveryindifferentaboutit。Whydidn’tyoutellmetodaywhenyoucame?\"shesaidinthetoneofaneglectedperson。\"Iheardofitquitebyaccident。\"

  \"Ididmeantotellyou,\"saidWildeve。\"ButI——well,Iwillspeakfrankly——IdidnotliketomentionitwhenIsaw,Eustacia,thatyourstarwasnothigh。

  Thesightofamanlyingweariedoutwithhardwork,asyourhusbandlay,mademefeelthattobragofmyownfortunetoyouwouldbegreatlyoutofplace。Yet,asyoustoodtherebesidehim,IcouldnothelpfeelingtoothatinmanyrespectshewasarichermanthanI。\"

  AtthisEustaciasaid,withslumberingmischievousness,\"What,wouldyouexchangewithhim——yourfortuneforme?\"

  \"Icertainlywould,\"saidWildeve。

  \"Asweareimaginingwhatisimpossibleandabsurd,supposewechangethesubject?\"

  \"Verywell;andIwilltellyouofmyplansforthefuture,ifyoucaretohearthem。Ishallpermanentlyinvestninethousandpounds,keeponethousandasreadymoney,andwiththeremainingthousandtravelforayearorso。\"

  \"Travel?Whatabrightidea!Wherewillyougoto?\"

  \"FromheretoParis,whereIshallpassthewinterandspring。

  ThenIshallgotoItaly,Greece,Egypt,andPalestine,beforethehotweathercomeson。InthesummerIshallgotoAmerica;andthen,byaplannotyetsettled,IshallgotoAustraliaandroundtoIndia。BythattimeIshallhavebeguntohavehadenoughofit。ThenIshallprobablycomebacktoParisagain,andthereIshallstayaslongasIcanaffordto。\"

  \"BacktoParisagain,\"shemurmuredinavoicethatwasnearlyasigh。ShehadneveroncetoldWildeveoftheParisiandesireswhichClym’sdescriptionhadsowninher;

  yetherewasheinvoluntarilyinapositiontogratifythem。

  \"YouthinkagooddealofParis?\"sheadded。

  \"Yes。Inmyopinionitisthecentralbeauty—spotoftheworld。\"

  \"Andinmine!AndThomasinwillgowithyou?\"

  \"Yes,ifshecaresto。Shemayprefertostayathome。\"

  \"Soyouwillbegoingabout,andIshallbestayinghere!\"

  \"Isupposeyouwill。Butweknowwhosefaultthatis。\"

  \"Iamnotblamingyou,\"shesaidquickly。

  \"Oh,Ithoughtyouwere。IfeveryouSHOULDbeinclinedtoblameme,thinkofacertaineveningbyRainbarrow,whenyoupromisedtomeetmeanddidnot。Yousentmealetter;andmyheartachedtoreadthatasIhopeyoursneverwill。Thatwasonepointofdivergence。

  Ithendidsomethinginhaste……Butsheisagoodwoman,andIwillsaynomore。\"

  \"Iknowthattheblamewasonmysidethattime,\"

  saidEustacia。\"Butithadnotalwaysbeenso。

  However,itismymisfortunetobetoosuddeninfeeling。

  O,Damon,don’treproachmeanymore——Ican’tbearthat。\"

  Theywentonsilentlyforadistanceoftwoorthreemiles,whenEustaciasaidsuddenly,\"Haven’tyoucomeoutofyourway,Mr。Wildeve?\"

  \"Mywayisanywheretonight。IwillgowithyouasfarasthehillonwhichwecanseeBlooms—End,asitisgettinglateforyoutobealone。\"

  \"Don’ttrouble。Iamnotobligedtobeoutatall。

  IthinkIwouldratheryoudidnotaccompanymefurther。

  Thissortofthingwouldhaveanoddlookifknown。\"

  \"Verywell,Iwillleaveyou。\"Hetookherhandunexpectedly,andkissedit——forthefirsttimesincehermarriage。

  \"Whatlightisthatonthehill?\"headded,asitweretohidethecaress。

  Shelooked,andsawaflickeringfirelightproceedingfromtheopensideofahovelalittlewaybeforethem。

  Thehovel,whichshehadhithertoalwaysfoundempty,seemedtobeinhabitednow。

  \"Sinceyouhavecomesofar,\"saidEustacia,\"willyouseemesafelypastthathut?IthoughtIshouldhavemetClymsomewhereabouthere,butashedoesn’tappearI

  willhastenonandgettoBlooms—Endbeforeheleaves。\"

  Theyadvancedtotheturf—shed,andwhentheygotnearitthefirelightandthelanterninsideshoweddistinctlyenoughtheformofawomanrecliningonabedoffern,agroupofheathmenandwomenstandingaroundher。EustaciadidnotrecognizeMrs。Yeobrightintherecliningfigure,norClymasoneofthestanders—bytillshecameclose。

  ThenshequicklypressedherhanduponWildeve’sarmandsignifiedtohimtocomebackfromtheopensideoftheshedintotheshadow。

  \"Itismyhusbandandhismother,\"shewhisperedinanagitatedvoice。\"Whatcanitmean?Willyoustepforwardandtellme?\"

  Wildevelefthersideandwenttothebackwallofthehut。

  PresentlyEustaciaperceivedthathewasbeckoningtoher,andsheadvancedandjoinedhim。

  \"Itisaseriouscase,\"saidWildeve。

  Fromtheirpositiontheycouldhearwhatwasproceedinginside。

  \"Icannotthinkwhereshecouldhavebeengoing,\"

  saidClymtosomeone。\"Shehadevidentlywalkedalongway,butevenwhenshewasabletospeakjustnowshewouldnottellmewhere。Whatdoyoureallythinkofher?\"

  \"Thereisagreatdealtofear,\"wasgravelyanswered,inavoicewhichEustaciarecognizedasthatoftheonlysurgeoninthedistrict。\"Shehassufferedsomewhatfromthebiteoftheadder;butitisexhaustionwhichhasoverpoweredher。Myimpressionisthatherwalkmusthavebeenexceptionallylong。\"

  \"Iusedtotellhernottooverwalkherselfthisweather,\"

  saidClym,withdistress。\"Doyouthinkwedidwellinusingtheadder’sfat?\"

  \"Well,itisaveryancientremedy——theoldremedyoftheviper—catchers,Ibelieve,\"repliedthedoctor。

  \"ItismentionedasaninfallibleointmentbyHoffman,Mead,andIthinktheAbbeFontana。Undoubtedlyitwasasgoodathingasyoucoulddo;thoughIquestionifsomeotheroilswouldnothavebeenequallyefficacious。\"

  \"Comehere,comehere!\"wasthenrapidlysaidinanxiousfemaletones,andClymandthedoctorcouldbeheardrushingforwardfromthebackpartoftheshedtowhereMrs。Yeobrightlay。

  \"Oh,whatisit?\"whisperedEustacia。

  \"’TwasThomasinwhospoke,\"saidWildeve。\"Thentheyhavefetchedher。IwonderifIhadbettergoin——yetitmightdoharm。\"

  Foralongtimetherewasuttersilenceamongthegroupwithin;anditwasbrokenatlastbyClymsaying,inanagonizedvoice,\"ODoctor,whatdoesitmean?\"

  Thedoctordidnotreplyatonce;ultimatelyhesaid,\"Sheissinkingfast。Herheartwaspreviouslyaffected,andphysicalexhaustionhasdealtthefinishingblow。\"

  Thentherewasaweepingofwomen,thenwaiting,thenhushedexclamations,thenastrangegaspingsound,thenapainfulstillness。

  \"Itisallover,\"saidthedoctor。

  Furtherbackinthehutthecotterswhispered,\"Mrs。Yeobrightisdead。\"

  Almostatthesamemomentthetwowatchersobservedtheformofasmallold—fashionedchildenteringattheopensideoftheshed。SusanNunsuch,whoseboyitwas,wentforwardtotheopeningandsilentlybeckonedtohimtogoback。

  \"I’vegotsomethingtotell’ee,Mother,\"hecriedinashrilltone。\"Thatwomanasleeptherewalkedalongwithmetoday;andshesaidIwastosaythatIhadseedher,andshewasabroken—heartedwomanandcastoffbyherson,andthenIcameonhome。\"

  Aconfusedsobasfromamanwasheardwithin,uponwhichEustaciagaspedfaintly,\"That’sClym——I

  mustgotohim——yetdareIdoit?No——comeaway!\"

  Whentheyhadwithdrawnfromtheneighbourhoodoftheshedshesaidhuskily,\"Iamtoblameforthis。

  Thereisevilinstoreforme。\"

  \"Wasshenotadmittedtoyourhouseafterall?\"

  Wildeveinquired。

  \"No,andthat’swhereitalllies!Oh,whatshallIdo!I

  shallnotintrudeuponthem——Ishallgostraighthome。

  Damon,good—bye!Icannotspeaktoyouanymorenow。\"

  Theypartedcompany;andwhenEustaciahadreachedthenexthillshelookedback。AmelancholyprocessionwaswendingitswaybythelightofthelanternfromthehuttowardsBlooms—End。Wildevewasnowheretobeseen。

  bookfiveTHEDISCOVERY

  1—\"WhereforeIsLightGiventoHimThatIsinMisery\"

  Oneevening,aboutthreeweeksafterthefuneralofMrs。Yeobright,whenthesilverfaceofthemoonsentabundleofbeamsdirectlyuponthefloorofClym’shouseatAlderworth,awomancameforthfromwithin。Shereclinedoverthegardengateasiftorefreshherselfawhile。

  Thepalelunartoucheswhichmakebeautiesofhagslentdivinitytothisface,alreadybeautiful。

  Shehadnotlongbeentherewhenamancameuptheroadandwithsomehesitationsaidtoher,\"Howishetonight,ma’am,ifyouplease?\"

  \"Heisbetter,thoughstillveryunwell,Humphrey,\"

  repliedEustacia。

  \"Ishelight—headed,ma’am?\"

  \"No。Heisquitesensiblenow。\"

  \"Doheraveabouthismotherjustthesame,poorfellow?\"

  continuedHumphrey。

  \"Justasmuch,thoughnotquitesowildly,\"shesaidinalowvoice。

  \"Itwasveryunfortunate,ma’am,thattheboyJohnnyshouldeverha’toldhimhismother’sdyingwords,aboutherbeingbroken—heartedandcastoffbyherson。

  ’Twasenoughtoupsetanymanalive。\"

  Eustaciamadenoreplybeyondthatofaslightcatchinherbreath,asofonewhofainwouldspeakbutcouldnot;

  andHumphrey,decliningherinvitationtocomein,wentaway。

  Eustaciaturned,enteredthehouse,andascendedtothefrontbedroom,whereashadedlightwasburning。

  InthebedlayClym,pale,haggard,wideawake,tossingtoonesideandtotheother,hiseyeslitbyahotlight,asifthefireintheirpupilswereburninguptheirsubstance。

  \"Isityou,Eustacia?\"hesaidasshesatdown。

  \"Yes,Clym。Ihavebeendowntothegate。Themoonisshiningbeautifully,andthereisnotaleafstirring。\"

  \"Shining,isit?What’sthemoontoamanlikeme?Letitshine——letanythingbe,sothatIneverseeanotherday!……Eustacia,Idon’tknowwheretolook——mythoughtsgothroughmelikeswords。O,ifanymanwantstomakehimselfimmortalbypaintingapictureofwretchedness,lethimcomehere!\"

  \"Whydoyousayso?\"

  \"IcannothelpfeelingthatIdidmybesttokillher。\"

  \"No,Clym。\"

  \"Yes,itwasso;itisuselesstoexcuseme!Myconducttoherwastoohideous——Imadenoadvances;andshecouldnotbringherselftoforgiveme。Nowsheisdead!

  IfIhadonlyshownmyselfwillingtomakeitupwithhersooner,andwehadbeenfriends,andthenshehaddied,itwouldn’tbesohardtobear。ButIneverwentnearherhouse,soshenevercamenearmine,anddidn’tknowhowwelcomeshewouldhavebeen——that’swhattroublesme。

  ShedidnotknowIwasgoingtoherhousethatverynight,forshewastooinsensibletounderstandme。Ifshehadonlycometoseeme!Ilongedthatshewould。

  Butitwasnottobe。\"

  ThereescapedfromEustaciaoneofthoseshiveringsighswhichusedtoshakeherlikeapestilentblast。

  Shehadnotyettold。

  ButYeobrightwastoodeeplyabsorbedintheramblingsincidentaltohisremorsefulstatetonoticeher。

  Duringhisillnesshehadbeencontinuallytalkingthus。

  DespairhadbeenaddedtohisoriginalgriefbytheunfortunatedisclosureoftheboywhohadreceivedthelastwordsofMrs。Yeobright——wordstoobitterlyutteredinanhourofmisapprehension。Thenhisdistresshadoverwhelmedhim,andhelongedfordeathasafieldlabourerlongsfortheshade。Itwasthepitifulsightofamanstandingintheveryfocusofsorrow。Hecontinuallybewailedhistardyjourneytohismother’shouse,becauseitwasanerrorwhichcouldneverberectified,andinsistedthathemusthavebeenhorriblypervertedbysomefiendnottohavethoughtbeforethatitwashisdutytogotoher,sinceshedidnotcometohim。HewouldaskEustaciatoagreewithhiminhisself—condemnation;

  andwhenshe,searedinwardlybyasecretshedarednottell,declaredthatshecouldnotgiveanopinion,hewouldsay,\"That’sbecauseyoudidn’tknowmymother’snature。

  Shewasalwaysreadytoforgiveifaskedtodoso;

  butIseemedtohertobeasanobstinatechild,andthatmadeherunyielding。Yetnotunyielding——shewasproudandreserved,nomore……Yes,Icanunderstandwhysheheldoutagainstmesolong。Shewaswaitingforme。

  Idaresayshesaidahundredtimesinhersorrow,’WhatareturnhemakesforallthesacrificesIhavemadeforhim!’

  Ineverwenttoher!WhenIsetouttovisitheritwastoolate。Tothinkofthatisnearlyintolerable!\"

  Sometimeshisconditionhadbeenoneofutterremorse,unsoftenedbyasingletearofpuresorrow:andthenhewrithedashelay,feveredfarmorebythoughtthanbyphysicalills。\"IfIcouldonlygetoneassurancethatshedidnotdieinabeliefthatIwasresentful,\"

  hesaidonedaywheninthismood,\"itwouldbebettertothinkofthanahopeofheaven。ButthatIcannotdo。\"

  \"Yougiveyourselfuptoomuchtothiswearyingdespair,\"

  saidEustacia。\"Othermen’smothershavedied。\"

  \"Thatdoesn’tmakethelossofmineless。Yetitislessthelossthanthecircumstancesoftheloss。

  Isinnedagainsther,andonthataccountthereisnolightforme。\"

  \"Shesinnedagainstyou,Ithink。\"

  \"No,shedidnot。Icommittedtheguilt;andmaythewholeburdenbeuponmyhead!\"

  \"Ithinkyoumightconsidertwicebeforeyousaythat,\"

  Eustaciareplied。\"Singlemenhave,nodoubt,arighttocursethemselvesasmuchastheyplease;butmenwithwivesinvolvetwointhedoomtheypraydown。\"

  \"Iamintoosorryastatetounderstandwhatyouarerefiningon,\"saidthewretchedman。\"Dayandnightshoutatme,’Youhavehelpedtokillher。’ButinloathingmyselfImay,Iown,beunjusttoyou,mypoorwife。

  Forgivemeforit,Eustacia,forIscarcelyknowwhatIdo。\"

  Eustaciawasalwaysanxioustoavoidthesightofherhusbandinsuchastateasthis,whichhadbecomeasdreadfultoherasthetrialscenewastoJudasIscariot。

  Itbroughtbeforehereyesthespectreofaworn—outwomanknockingatadoorwhichshewouldnotopen;

  andsheshrankfromcontemplatingit。YetitwasbetterforYeobrighthimselfwhenhespokeopenlyofhissharpregret,forinsilenceheenduredinfinitelymore,andwouldsometimesremainsolonginatense,broodingmood,consuminghimselfbythegnawingofhisthought,thatitwasimperativelynecessarytomakehimtalkaloud,thathisgriefmightinsomedegreeexpenditselfintheeffort。

  Eustaciahadnotbeenlongindoorsafterherlookatthemoonlightwhenasoftfootstepcameuptothehouse,andThomasinwasannouncedbythewomandownstairs。

  \"Ah,Thomasin!Thankyouforcomingtonight,\"saidClymwhensheenteredtheroom。\"HereamI,yousee。

  SuchawretchedspectacleamI,thatIshrinkfrombeingseenbyasinglefriend,andalmostfromyou。\"

  \"Youmustnotshrinkfromme,dearClym,\"saidThomasinearnestly,inthatsweetvoiceofherswhichcametoasuffererlikefreshairintoaBlackHole。

  \"Nothinginyoucanevershockmeordrivemeaway。

  Ihavebeenherebefore,butyoudon’trememberit。\"

  \"Yes,Ido;Iamnotdelirious,Thomasin,norhaveI

  beensoatall。Don’tyoubelievethatiftheysayso。

  IamonlyingreatmiseryatwhatIhavedone,andthat,withtheweakness,makesmeseemmad。Butithasnotupsetmyreason。DoyouthinkIshouldrememberallaboutmymother’sdeathifIwereoutofmymind?Nosuchgoodluck。

  Twomonthsandahalf,Thomasin,thelastofherlife,didmypoormotherlivealone,distractedandmourningbecauseofme;

  yetshewasunvisitedbyme,thoughIwaslivingonlysixmilesoff。Twomonthsandahalf——seventy—fivedaysdidthesunriseandsetuponherinthatdesertedstatewhichadogdidn’tdeserve!Poorpeoplewhohadnothingincommonwithherwouldhavecaredforher,andvisitedherhadtheyknownhersicknessandloneliness;butI,whoshouldhavebeenalltoher,stayedawaylikeacur。

  IfthereisanyjusticeinGodletHimkillmenow。

  Hehasnearlyblindedme,butthatisnotenough。

  IfHewouldonlystrikemewithmorepainIwouldbelieveinHimforever!\"

  \"Hush,hush!O,pray,Clym,don’t,don’tsayit!\"

  imploredThomasin,affrightedintosobsandtears;

  whileEustacia,attheothersideoftheroom,thoughherpalefaceremainedcalm,writhedinherchair。

  Clymwentonwithoutheedinghiscousin。

  \"ButIamnotworthreceivingfurtherproofevenofHeaven’sreprobation。Doyouthink,Thomasin,thatsheknewme——thatshedidnotdieinthathorridmistakennotionaboutmynotforgivingher,whichIcan’ttellyouhowsheacquired?Ifyoucouldonlyassuremeofthat!Doyouthinkso,Eustacia?Dospeaktome。\"

  \"IthinkIcanassureyouthatsheknewbetteratlast,\"

  saidThomasin。ThepallidEustaciasaidnothing。

  \"Whydidn’tshecometomyhouse?IwouldhavetakenherinandshowedherhowIlovedherinspiteofall。

  Butshenevercame;andIdidn’tgotoher,andshediedontheheathlikeananimalkickedout,nobodytohelphertillitwastoolate。Ifyoucouldhaveseenher,Thomasin,asIsawher——apoordyingwoman,lyinginthedarkuponthebareground,moaning,nobodynear,believingshewasutterlydesertedbyalltheworld,itwouldhavemovedyoutoanguish,itwouldhavemovedabrute。Andthispoorwomanmymother!Nowondershesaidtothechild,’Youhaveseenabroken—heartedwoman。’

  Whatastateshemusthavebeenbroughtto,tosaythat!andwhocanhavedoneitbutI?Itistoodreadfultothinkof,andIwishIcouldbepunishedmoreheavilythanIam。

  HowlongwasIwhattheycalledoutofmysenses?\"

  \"Aweek,Ithink。\"

  \"AndthenIbecamecalm。\"

  \"Yes,forfourdays。\"

  \"AndnowIhaveleftoffbeingcalm。\"

  \"Buttrytobequiet——pleasedo,andyouwillsoonbestrong。

  Ifyoucouldremovethatimpressionfromyourmind——\"

  \"Yes,yes,\"hesaidimpatiently。\"ButIdon’twanttogetstrong。What’stheuseofmygettingwell?ItwouldbebetterformeifIdie,anditwouldcertainlybebetterforEustacia。IsEustaciathere?\"

  \"Yes。\"

  \"Itwouldbebetterforyou,Eustacia,ifIweretodie?\"

  \"Don’tpresssuchaquestion,dearClym。\"

  \"Well,itreallyisbutashadowysupposition;

  forunfortunatelyIamgoingtolive。Ifeelmyselfgettingbetter。Thomasin,howlongareyougoingtostayattheinn,nowthatallthismoneyhascometoyourhusband?\"

  \"Anothermonthortwo,probably;untilmyillnessisover。

  Wecannotgetofftillthen。Ithinkitwillbeamonthormore。\"

  \"Yes,yes。Ofcourse。Ah,CousinTamsie,youwillgetoveryourtrouble——onelittlemonthwilltakeyouthroughit,andbringsomethingtoconsoleyou;butIshallnevergetovermine,andnoconsolationwillcome!\"

  \"Clym,youareunjusttoyourself。Dependuponit,Auntthoughtkindlyofyou。Iknowthat,ifshehadlived,youwouldhavebeenreconciledwithher。\"

  \"Butshedidn’tcometoseeme,thoughIaskedher,beforeImarried,ifshewouldcome。Hadshecome,orhadIgonethere,shewouldneverhavediedsaying,’Iamabroken—heartedwoman,castoffbymyson。’Mydoorhasalwaysbeenopentoher——awelcomeherehasalwaysawaitedher。Butthatshenevercametosee。\"

  \"Youhadbetternottalkanymorenow,Clym,\"saidEustaciafaintlyfromtheotherpartoftheroom,forthescenewasgrowingintolerabletoher。

  \"LetmetalktoyouinsteadforthelittletimeIshallbehere,\"Thomasinsaidsoothingly。\"Considerwhataone—sidedwayyouhaveoflookingatthematter,Clym。

  Whenshesaidthattothelittleboyyouhadnotfoundherandtakenherintoyourarms;anditmighthavebeenutteredinamomentofbitterness。ItwasratherlikeAunttosaythingsinhaste。Shesometimesusedtospeaksotome。

  ThoughshedidnotcomeIamconvincedthatshethoughtofcomingtoseeyou。Doyousupposeaman’smothercouldlivetwoorthreemonthswithoutoneforgivingthought?

  Sheforgaveme;andwhyshouldshenothaveforgivenyou?\"

  \"Youlabouredtowinherround;Ididnothing。I,whowasgoingtoteachpeoplethehighersecretsofhappiness,didnotknowhowtokeepoutofthatgrossmiserywhichthemostuntaughtarewiseenoughtoavoid。\"

  \"Howdidyougetheretonight,Thomasin?\"saidEustacia。

  \"Damonsetmedownattheendofthelane。HehasdrivenintoEastEgdononbusiness,andhewillcomeandpickmeupby—and—by。\"

  Accordinglytheysoonafterheardthenoiseofwheels。

  Wildevehadcome,andwaswaitingoutsidewithhishorseandgig。

  \"SendoutandtellhimIwillbedownintwominutes,\"

  saidThomasin。

  \"Iwillrundownmyself,\"saidEustacia。

  Shewentdown。Wildevehadalighted,andwasstandingbeforethehorse’sheadwhenEustaciaopenedthedoor。

  Hedidnotturnforamoment,thinkingthecomerThomasin。

  Thenhelooked,startledeversolittle,andsaidoneword:

  \"Well?\"

  \"Ihavenotyettoldhim,\"sherepliedinawhisper。

  \"Thendon’tdosotillheiswell——itwillbefatal。

  Youareillyourself。\"

  \"Iamwretched……ODamon,\"shesaid,burstingintotears,\"I——Ican’ttellyouhowunhappyIam!Icanhardlybearthis。Icantellnobodyofmytrouble——nobodyknowsofitbutyou。\"

  \"Poorgirl!\"saidWildeve,visiblyaffectedatherdistress,andatlastledonsofarastotakeherhand。

  \"Itishard,whenyouhavedonenothingtodeserveit,thatyoushouldhavegotinvolvedinsuchawebasthis。

  Youwerenotmadeforthesesadscenes。Iamtoblamemost。

  IfIcouldonlyhavesavedyoufromitall!\"

  \"But,Damon,pleasepraytellmewhatImustdo?Tositbyhimhourafterhour,andhearhimreproachhimselfasbeingthecauseofherdeath,andtoknowthatIamthesinner,ifanyhumanbeingisatall,drivesmeintocolddespair。Idon’tknowwhattodo。

  ShouldItellhimorshouldInottellhim?Ialwaysamaskingmyselfthat。O,Iwanttotellhim;andyetI

  amafraid。Ifhefinditouthemustsurelykillme,fornothingelsewillbeinproportiontohisfeelingsnow。

  ’Bewarethefuryofapatientman’soundsdaybydayinmyearsasIwatchhim。\"

  \"Well,waittillheisbetter,andtrusttochance。

  Andwhenyoutell,youmustonlytellpart——forhisownsake。\"

  \"WhichpartshouldIkeepback?\"

  Wildevepaused。\"ThatIwasinthehouseatthetime,\"

  hesaidinalowtone。

  \"Yes;itmustbeconcealed,seeingwhathasbeenwhispered。

  Howmucheasierarehastyactionsthanspeechesthatwillexcusethem!\"

  \"Ifhewereonlytodie——\"Wildevemurmured。

  \"Donotthinkofit!IwouldnotbuyhopeofimmunitybysocowardlyadesireevenifIhatedhim。NowIamgoinguptohimagain。Thomasinbademetellyoushewouldbedowninafewminutes。Good—bye。\"

  Shereturned,andThomasinsoonappeared。Whenshewasseatedinthegigwithherhusband,andthehorsewasturningtogooff,Wildeveliftedhiseyestothebedroomwindows。

  Lookingfromoneofthemhecoulddiscernapale,tragicfacewatchinghimdriveaway。ItwasEustacia’s。

  2—ALuridLightBreaksinuponaDarkenedUnderstandingClym’sgriefbecamemitigatedbywearingitselfout。

  Hisstrengthreturned,andamonthafterthevisitofThomasinhemighthavebeenseenwalkingaboutthegarden。

  Enduranceanddespair,equanimityandgloom,thetintsofhealthandthepallorofdeath,mingledweirdlyinhisface。

  Hewasnowunnaturallysilentuponallofthepastthatrelatedtohismother;andthoughEustaciaknewthathewasthinkingofitnonetheless,shewasonlytoogladtoescapethetopicevertobringitupanew。Whenhismindhadbeenweakerhishearthadledhimtospeakout;

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