Whilethusservinganapprenticeshiptojournalism，Millwasgoingthrougharemarkablementaltraining。Aboutthebeginningof1825heundertooktoeditBentham’sRationaleofEvidence。Hesaysthatthiswork’occupiednearlyallhisleisureforaboutayear。’Thatsuchataskshouldhavebeenaccomplishedbyayouthoftwentyinayearwouldseemmarvellousevenifhehadbeenexclusivelydevotedtoit。HehadtocondenselargemassesofBentham’scrabbedmanuscriptintoacontinuoustreatise；to’unroll’hisauthor’sinvolvedandparentheticsentences；toreadthestandardEnglishtextbooksuponevidence；toreplytoreviewersofpreviousworksofBentham，andtoaddcommentsespeciallyuponsomelogicalpoints。Finally，hehadtosee，fivelargevolumesthroughthepress。’18*Thatthiswasadmirablepractice，andthatMill’sstylebecameafterwards，markedlysuperior，towhatithadbeenbefore，maybewellbelieved。Itisimpossible，however，nottoconnectthefactthatMillhadgonethroughthislabourin1825withthesingularmentalconvulsionwhichfollowedin1826。
Hewas，hesays，ina，dullstateofnerves，intheautumnofthatyear。Itoccurredtohimtoaskwhetherhewouldbehappysupposingthatallhisobjectsinlifecouldberealised。’Anirrepressibleconsciousnessdistinctlyanswered“No。“’Thecloudwouldnotpassaway。Hecouldthinkofnophysicianofthemindwhocould’razeouttherootedtroubleofthebrain。’Hisfatherhadnoexperienceofsuchfeeling，norcouldhegivetheeldermanthepainofthinkingthatalltheeducationalplanshadfailed。Thefather’sphilosophy，indeed，bothexplained，andshowedthehopelessnessof，theevil。Feelingsdependuponassociation。Analysistendstodestroytheassociations，andthereforeto’wearawaythefeelings。’Happinesshasforitsmainsourcethepleasureofsympathywithothers。Buttheknowledgethatthefeelingwouldgivehappinesscouldnotsufficetorestorethefeelingitself。Itseemedtobeimpossibletosettoworkagainandcreatenewassociations。Milldraggedonmechanicallythroughthewinterof1826-27，andthegloomonlygathered。Hemadeuphismindthathecouldnotbearlifeformorethanayear。ThefirstrayofhopecamefromapassageinwhichMarmonteldescribeshisfather’sdeathandhisresolutiontomakeupthelosstohisfamily。Graduallyherecovered，thoughhesufferedseveralrelapses。Helearned，hesays，twolessons：
first，thatthoughhappinessmustbetheend，itmustnotbetheimmediateorconsciousend，oflife。Askwhetheryouarehappyandyouwillceasetobehappy。Fixuponsomeendexternaltohappiness，andhappinesswillbe’inhaledwiththeairyoubreathe。’Andinthesecondplace，helearnedtomakethe’cultivationofthefeelingsoneofthecardinalpointsinhisethicalandphilosophicalcreed。’Hecouldnot，however，forsometimeapplyhisnewdoctrinetopractice。Hementionsasaquaintillustrationofthisperiodoneingeniousmodeofself-torment。
Hehadfromchildhoodtakenpleasureinmusic。Duringtheperiodofdepressionevenmusichadlostitscharm。Asherevived，thecharmgraduallyreturned。Yetheteasedhimselfbythereflectionthat，asthenumberofmusicalnotesislimited，theremustcomeatimewhennewMozartsandWeberswouldnolongerbepossible。
This，hesays，waslikethefearoftheLaputansthatthesunwouldintimebeburntout，afear，itmayberemarked，whichmodernsciencehasnotdiminished。Hemighthavenoticedthat，asthenumberofcombinationsoftwenty-sixlettersisfinite，newShakespearesandDanteswillbecomeimpossible。Heobserves，however，thatthiswasconnectedwiththe’onlygoodpointinhisveryunromanticandinnowayhonourabledistress。’Itshowedaninterestinthefortunesoftheraceaswellasinhisown，andthereforegavehopesthatifhecouldseehiswaytobetterprospectsofhumanhappinesshisdepressionmightbefinallyremoved。ThisstateofmindmadehisreadingofWordsworth’sExcursionintheautumnof1828animportanteventinhislife。
HecouldmakenothingofByron，whomhealsostudiedforthefirsttime。ButWordsworthappealedtotheloveofscenery，whichwasalreadyoneofhispassions，andthusrevealedtohimthepleasureoftranquilcontemplationandofaninterestinthecommonfeelingsanddestinyofhumanbeings。FromthefamousOde，too，heinferredthatWordsworthhadgonethroughanexperiencelikehisown，hadregrettedthefreshnessofearlylife，andhadfoundcompensationbythepathalongwhichhecouldguidehisreader。
TheeffectuponMillofWordsworth’spoetryisremarkable，thoughIcannotherediscusstherelation。ReadersofthefourthbookoftheExcursioncalled’despondencycorrected’maynotehowdirectlythepoetapplieshisteachingtothephilosopher。Heasks，forexample，whethermenofscienceandthosewhohave，analysedthethinkingprinciple，aretobecomea’degradedrace’，anddeclaresthatitcouldneverbeintendedbynature’Thatweshouldpore，anddwindleaswepore，ViewingalobjectsunremittinglyIndisconnexiondeadandspiritless；
Andstilldividing，anddividingstill，Breakdownallgrandeur，stillunsatisfiedWiththeperverseattempt，whilelittlenessMayyetbecomemorelittle；wagingthusAnimpiouswarfarewiththeverylifeOfourownsouls！’
ThisisthepreciseequivalentofMill’sdoctrineaboutthedangerofthehabitofanalysis，andJamesMill，ifWordsworthhadeverreadhim，wouldhavemadeanadmirableexamplefortheexcellentpedlar。
ItischaracteristicofMillthathedoesnotexplicitlyattributethismentalcrisistotheobviousphysicalcause。AsProfessorBaintellsus，hewouldneveradmitthathardworkcouldinjureanybody。Disbeliefinthatdangerisonlytoocommonwithhardworkers。Millintimatesthathisdejectionwasoccasionedbya’lowstateofnerves，’butaddsthatthiswasoneoftheaccidentstowhicheveryoneisoccasionallyliable。19*
Amanwouldatleastbemoreliabletoitwho，likeMill，hadbeenkeptinastateofsevereintellectualtensionfromhisearliestinfancy，andwhohadgonethroughsuchlaboursastheeditingBentham’sRationaleofEvidence。Thathishealthwaspermanentlyaffectedseemstobeclear。Tenyearslater1836hewas’seizedwithanobstinatederangementofthebrain。’Onesymptomwasa，ceaselessspasmodictwitchingoveroneeye，’whichneverlefthim。In1839anotherillnessforcedhimtotakeamonth’sholiday，whichhespentinItaly。Itleftpermanentweaknessinthelungsandthestomach。Anaccidentin1848ledtoalongillnessandprostrationofthenervoussystem；andin1854
anotherseriousillness，whichhemetbyaneightmonths’tourinItaly，Sicily，andGreece，ledtothe，partialdestructionofonelung，andgreat’generaldebility。’20*Inspiteoftheseillnesses，Millcontinuedtolabourasstrenuouslyasbefore，anduntiltheillnessof1848atleastshowednosignsofanydeclineofintellectualenergy。Theymustberememberedifwewoulddofulljusticetohislatercareer。
Itis，meanwhile，remarkablethathisenergeticcourseofself-educationseemshardytohavebeeninterruptedbytheperiodofdejection。Intheyear1825，while，onemighthavesupposed，fairlydrownedinBentham’smanuscript，hecontributedanarticleuponCatholicEmancipationtoaParliamentaryHistory，startedbyMrMarshallofLeeds。Hewroteothersuponthecommercialcrisisanduponthecurrencyanduponreciprocityincommerceforthetwosubsequentannualissues。Hethinksthathisworkhadnowceasedtobe’juvenile，’andmightbecalledoriginal，sofarasitappliedoldideasinanewconnection。AtthesametimehelearnedGerman，formingaclassforthepurpose。HealsosetupasocietywhichmettwodaysaweekatGrote’shouseinThreadneedleStreetanddiscussedvarioustopicsfromhalf-past8
till10A。M。Thesemeetingslastedtill1830。Theyoungmendiscussedinsuccessionpoliticaleconomy，logic，andpsychology。
Theirplanwastotakesometext-book，andtodiscusseverypointraisedthoroughly——sometimeskeepingtoasinglequestionforweeks——untileveryonewassatisfiedwithatleasthisownsolutionofthequestion。Ricardo，JamesMill，andtheirlikesuppliedthechiefliterature；butinlogictheywentfurther，and，beingdisgustedwithAldrich，reprintedtheManuductioadLogicamoftheJesuitduTrieu。TheresultoftheseargumentsappearsinthereviewofWhately。Mill，helpedbyGrahamandEllishisoldalliesintheUtilitarianSociety，started’mostofthenovelties’；whileGroteandtheothersformedacriticaltribunal。TheresultsformedthematerialsofseveralofMill’swritings。Theseoccupationsmighthavebeenenoughforayouthoftwenty，butanotherfieldfordiscussionoffereditself。ThefollowersofOwenwerestartingweeklypublicdiscussionsin1825。TheUtilitarians，headedbyCharlesAustin，wentinabody，andaseriesoffriendlybutveryenergeticdebateswentonforthreemonths。Thisledtothefoundationofadebatingsociety，uponthemodelofthe，SpeculativeSociety，ofEdinburgh。Afterafailureatstarting，thesocietybecameactive，anduntil1829
Milltookpartinnearlyeverydebate。BesidestheUtilitarians，itincludedMacaulay，Thirlwall，Praed，theBulwers，Fonblanque，andothers。CharlesBullerandCockburncameinasRadicals，andtheTories，ofwhomtherehadbeenalackinthosedaysofreformingzeal，werereinforcedbySheeafterwardsJudgeandA。
Hayward。MauriceandSterlingwererepresentativesofaliberalismwidelydifferingfromUtilitarianism，andaccedingColeridgeinplaceofBenthamasintellectualguide。Milllearnedtospeakfluently，ifnotgracefully，andimprovedhisstylebypreparingwrittenspeeches。Itisnotstrangethat，withalltheseoccupations，hefeltitareliefwhen，in1828，hewasreleasedfromcontributingtotheWestminster。Bowring，theeditor，hadmadearrangementswithPerronetThompson，anditwasnolongeranorganoftheorthodoxUtilitarians。In1829MillgaveuptheSpeculativeSocietyandresolvedtodevotehimselftoprivatestudiesandprepareformoreelaboratework。Newthoughtswerebeingsuggestedfromvariousquarters。Macaulay’sattackuponhisfather’spoliticaltheoryledhimtorecognisetheinadequacyoftheUtilitariansystem，andforcedhimtoconsiderthelogicalproblemsinvolved。HecameundertheinfluenceoftheSt。Simoniansatthesameperiod。Anenthusiasticdiscipleoftheschool，Gustaved’Eichthal，twoyearsseniortoMill，wastakenbyyoungTooketothedebatingsocietyinMay1828，andwassurprisedbyMill’sskilfulandcomprehensivesummingupofadiscussion。Heendeavouredtomakeproselytesofthepair，thenfulloftheenthusiasmandexpectingthetriumphoftheirparty。
Tooke，apparentlyMill’swarmestfriendatthetime，committedsuicideearlyin1830，inanaccessofexcitementproducedbyfeverascribedtooverworkandtensionofmind。Millbecameahalf-convert。HewasgreatlyimpressedbytheSt。Simoniandoctrineofthealternationof，critical，and，constructive，periods。Headmittedthenecessityofsomethingbetterthanthenegativeor’criticalphilosophy’oftheeighteenthcentury。21*
Hedesiredtheformationofaspiritualpower。Heprotested，however，againsttheexcessivespiritofsystemandagainstprematureattemptstoorganisesuchapower。Yetbydegreeshemodifiedhisobjections，andon30thNovember1831declareshisbeliefthattheSt。Simonianidealwillbethefinalstateofthehumanrace。WereEnglandripeforan’organicview，’whichitcertainlyisnot，hemightrenounceeverythingintheworldtobecome——notoneofthem，but——likethem。Millkept，ashesays，abureauofSt。Simonianismforatime，andsuggestedtod’Eichthalthenamesofmanypersonstowhomthepublicationsofthepartymightbesent。Bulwer，Sterling，Whately，BlancoWhite，W。J。Fox，andDrArnoldwereamongthem。22*Meanwhile，hisspeculationscausedhimtobemuchtroubledbythedoctrineofPhilosophicalNecessity；andheworkedoutasolutionwhichwasultimatelypublishedintheLogic。Whilehismindwasthusfermentingwithmanynewthoughts，often，ashesays，23*newonlytohim，hewasprofoundlymovedbytheFrenchrevolutionofJuly1830。HewentatoncetoPariswithRoebuckandGraham；wasintroducedtoLafayette，madefriendswithotherpopularleaders，andcamebackpreparedtotakeanactivepartasawriteronbehalfoftheReformagitation。Forsomeyearshewasanactivejournalist，contributingtotheExaminerunderFonblanque。A