第39章
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  Hedidnotseeitallashesatonhishorse——hewas,asyet,tooyoung;buthedidfeelthecontrastbetweenthedinandglarearoundhimandthesilenceanddarkbeyond,and,afterwards,lookingback,heknewthathehadfoundinthatsamecontrasttheveryheartofromance。Asitwas,hesimplyclutchedhishorse’sbeautifulheadandwaitedfortheridetobegin……

  Theywereoff!Hefelthishorsequiverunderhim,hesawthemansionsoftheTwo-HeadedGiantandtheFatLadysliptotheright,thelightseemedtoswingliketheskirtofsomeone’sdress,upwardsacrossthefloor,andfromtheheartofthegoldenwomanandthekingandtheminstrelascreamburstforthasthoughtheywereannouncingtheendoftheworld。Afterthathehadnoclearideaastowhatoccurred。Hewasswungintospace,andallthelifethathadbeensostationary,thebooths,thelights,themenandwomen,theverystarswentswingingwithhimasthoughtocheerhimon;thehorseunderhimgallopedbefore,andthefasterhegallopedthewilderwasthemusicandthedizziertheworld。Hewasexultant,omnipotent,supreme。Hehadlongknownthatthisglorywassomewhereifitcouldonlyhefound,allhisdaysheseemedtohavebeensearchingforit;hebeathishorse’sneck,hedrovehislegsagainsthissides。“Goon!Goon!Goon!“hecried。“Faster!Faster!

  Faster!“

  Thestrangestthingsseemedtorisetohisnoticeandthenfallagain——apeakedpoliceman’shat,flowers,asuddenflameofgas,thestaringeyesanddeadwhitearmsofthegoldenwoman,theflyingformsofthehorsesinfrontofhim。Alltheworldwasonhorseback,alltheworldwasracinghigherandhigher,fasterandfaster。Hesawsomeonenearhimriseontohishorse’sbackandstandonit,wavinghisarms。Hewouldliketohavedonethat,buthefoundthathewaspartofhishorse,asthoughhehadbeengluedtoit。Heshouted,hecriedaloud,hewassohappythathethoughtofnooneandnothing……Theflamedancedabouthiminacircle,heseemedtorisesohighthattherewasasuddenstillness,hewasintheveryheartofthestars;thencamethesuprememomentwhen,ashehadalwaysknown,thatonedayhewouldbe,hewasmasteroftheworld……Then,likeLucifer,hefell。Slowlythestarsreceded,themusicslackened,peoplerockedontotheirfeetagain……TheTwo-HeadedGiantslippedhackoncemoreintohisplace,hesawthesinisterladystilldevouringhersupper,womenlookingupathimgaped。Hishorsegavealastlittleleapanddied。

  Thismarvellousexperienceherepeatedfourtimes,andeverytimewithanecstasymorecompletethanthelast。Herushedtoaheight,hefell,herushedagain,hefell,andateveryreturntoasoberlifehisoneintentionwasinstantlytobeoffonhissteedoncemore。Hewasabouttostartonhisfifthjourney,hehadpaidhishalfpenny,hewassittingforwardwithhishandsontheblackmane,hiseyes,staring,werefilledalreadywiththeglorythatheknewwascomingtohim,hischeekswerecrimson,hishatonthebackofhishead,hishairflying。Heheardavoice,quietandcool,alittlebelowhim,butverynear:

  “Jeremy……Jeremy。Comeoffthat。You’vegottogohome。“

  HelookeddownandsawhisUncleSamuel。

  IV

  Itwasallover;heknewatoncethatitwasallover。

  Asheslippeddownfromhisdearhorsehegavetheglossydarkmaneonelastpat;then,withalittlesigh,hefoundhisfeet,stumbledoverthewoodenstepsandwasathisuncle’sside。

  UncleSamuellookedqueerenoughwithasquashyblackhat,ablackcloakflungoverhisshoulders,andalargecherry-woodpipeinhismouth。Jeremylookedupathimdefiantly。

  “Well,“saidUncleSamuelsarcastically。“It’snothingtoyou,I

  suppose,thatthetown-crierisatthismomentringinghisbellforyouupanddowntheMarketPlace?“

  “Doesfatherknow?“Jeremyaskedquickly。

  “Hedoes,“answeredUncleSamuel。

  Jeremycastonelastlookaroundtheplace;themerry-go-roundwasengagedoncemoreuponitswildcourse,thehorsesrisingandfalling,thegoldenwomanclashingthecymbals,theminstrelstriking,withhisdeadeyesfixeduponspace,hisharp。Allaboutmenwereshouting;thenoiseofthecoconutstores,ofthecircus,oftheband,ofthehuckstersandthecharlatans,thecryingofchildren,thelaughterofwomen——allthenoiseoftheFairbathedJeremyuptohisforehead。

  Heswaminitforthelasttime。Hetriedtocatchonelastglimpseofhiscoal-blackcharger,then,withasigh,hesaid,turningtohisuncle:“Isupposewe’dbetterbegoing。“

  “Yes,Isupposewehad,“saidUncleSamuel。

  TheythreadedtheirwaythroughtheFair,passedthewoodenstile,andwereonceagaininthestreets,darkandancientunderthemoon,withallthenoiseandglarebehindthem。Jeremywasthinkingtohimself:“Itdoesn’tmatterwhatFatherdoes,orhowangryheis,thatwasworthit。“Itwasstrangehowlittleafraidhewas。Onlyayearagotobepunishedbyhisfatherhadbeenaterriblething。

  Now,sincehismother’sillnessinthesummer,hisfatherhadseemedtohavenoinfluenceoverhim。

  “Didtheybendyou,ordidyoujustcomeyourself,Uncle?“askedJeremy。

  “Ihappenedtobetakingtheairinthatdirection,“saidUncleSamuel。

  “Ihopeyoudidn’tcomeawaybeforeyouwantedto,“saidJeremypolitely。

  “Ididnot,“saidhisuncle。

  “IsFatherveryangry?“askedJeremy。

  “It’smorethanlikelyhemaybe。TheTownCrier’sexpensive。“

  “Ididn’tthinkthey’dknow,“explainedJeremy。“Imeanttogetbackintime。“

  “Yourfatherdidn’tgotochurch,“saidUncleSamuel。“Soyoursinswerequicklydiscovered。“

  Jeremysaidnothing。

  JustastheywereclimbingOrangeStreethesaid:

  “UncleSamuel,IthinkI’llbeahorse-trainer。“

  “Oh,willyou?……Well,beforeyoutrainhorsesyou’vegottotrainyourself。Thinkofothersbesideyourself。Afinestateyou’veputyourmotherintoto-night。“

  Jeremylookeddistressed。“She’dknowifIwasdead,someonewouldcomeandtellher,“hesaid。“ButI’lltellMotherI’msorry……

  ButIwon’ttellFather,“headded。

  “Whynot?“askedUncleSamuel。

  “Becausehe’llmakesuchafuss。AndI’mnotsorry。Henevertoldmenotto。“

  “No,butyouknewyouhadn’tto。“

  “I’mverygoodatobeying,“explainedJeremy,“ifsomeonesayssomething;butifsomeonedoesn’t,thereisn’tanyonetoobey,“

  UncleSamuelshookhishead。“You’llbeabitofaprig,myson,ifyouaren’tcareful,“hesaid。

  “Ithinkitwillbesplendidtobeahorse-trainer,“saidJeremy。

  “Itwasalovelyhorseto-night……AndIonlyspentashilling。I

  hadthreeandthreepencehalfpenny。“

  AtthedooroftheirhouseUncleSamuelstoppedandsaid:

  “Lookhere,youngman,theysayit’stimeyouwenttoschool,andI

  don’tthinkthey’refarwrong。Therearethingswiserheadsthanyourscanunderstand,andyou’dbettertaketheirwordforit。Inthefuture,ifyouwanttogorunningoffsomewhere,you’dbettercontentyourselfwithmystudioandmakeamessthere。“

  “Oh,mayI?“criedJeremydelighted。

  Thatstudiohadbeenalwaysaforbiddenplacetothem,andhad,therefore,itsairofenchantingmystery。

  “Won’tyoureallymindmycoming?“heasked。

  “Ishallprobablyhateit,“answeredhisuncle;“butthere’snothingIwouldn’tdoforthefamily。“

  Theboywalkedtohisfather’sstudyandknockedonthedoor。Hedidhavethen,atthesoundofthatknock,amomentofpanic。Thehousewassosilent,andheknewsowellwhatwouldfollowtheopeningofthedoor。Andtheworstofitwasthathewasnotsorryintheleast。Heseemedtobeindifferentandsuperior,asthoughnopunishmentcouldtouchhim。

  “Comein!“saidhisfather。

  Hepushedopenthedoorandentered。Thescenethatfollowedwasgraveandsad,andyet,intheend,strangelyunimpressive。Hisfathertalkedtoomuch。AshetalkedJeremy’sthoughtswouldflybacktothecoal-blackhorseandtothatmomentwhenhehadseemedtoflyintotheveryheartofthestars。

  “Ah,Jeremy,howcouldyou?“saidhisfather。“Isobediencenothingtoyou?DoyouknowhowGodpunishesdisobedience?Thinkwhataterriblethingisadisobedientman!“Thenonalowerscale:“I

  reallydon’tknowwhattodowithyou。Youknewthatyouwerenottogonearthatwickedplace。“

  “Youneversaid——“interruptedJeremy。

  “Nonsense!Youknewwellenough。Youwillbreakyourmother’sheart。“

  “I’lltellherI’msorry,“heinterruptedquickly。

  “Ifyouarereallysorry——“saidhisfather。

  “I’mnotsorryIwent,“saidJeremy,“butI’msorryIhurtMother。“

  TheendofitwasthatJeremyreceivedsixstrokesonthehandwitharuler。Mr。Colewasnotgoodatthiskindofthing,andtwicehemissedJeremy’shandaltogether,andlookedveryfoolish。Itwasnotanedifyingscene。Jeremylefttheroom,hisheadhigh,hisspiritobstinate;andhisfatherremained,puzzled,distressed,ataloss,anxioustodowhatwasright,butunabletotouchhissonatall。

  Jeremywentuptohisroom。Heopenedhiswindowandlookedout。Hecouldsmelltheburntleavesofthebonfire。Therewasnoflamenow,buthefanciedthathecouldseeawhiteshadowwhereithadbeen。

  Then,onthewind,camethemusicoftheFair。

  “Tum——te——Tum……Tum——te——Tum……Whirr——Whirr——Whirr——Bang——

  Bang。“

  Somewhereanowlcried,andthenanotherowlanswered。

  Herubbedhissorehandagainsthistrousers;then,thinkingofhisblackhorse,hesmiled。

  Hewasafreeman。Inaweekhewouldgotoschool;thenhewouldgotoCollege;thenhewouldbeahorsetrainer。

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