第36章
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  Youmeanyouwereactuallyjealousofyourownbaby?’shegasped。Why,Bertram,howcould——Andwasthatwhyyou——yousoughtdistractionand——Oh,but,Bertram,thatwasallmyf-fault,’shequaveredremorsefully。I

  wouldn’tplay,norsing,norgotowalk,noranything;andIworehorridfrowzywrappersallthetime,and——’

  Oh,come,come,Billy,’expostulatedtheman。I’mnotgoingtohaveyoutalklikethatabout_mywife!_’

  ButIdid——thebooksaidIdid,’wailedBilly。

  Thebook?Goodheavens!Arethereanybooksinthis,too?’demandedBertram。

  Yes,thesameone;the——the`TalkstoYoungWives,’’noddedBilly。Andthen,becausesomethingshadgrownsmalltothem,andsomeothersgreat,theybothlaughedhappily。

  Buteventhiswasnotquiteall;foroneevening,veryshyly,Billybroughtoutthechessboard。

  OfcourseIcan’tplaywell,’shefaltered;

  andmaybeyoudon’twanttoplaywithmeatall。’

  ButBertram,whenhefoundoutwhyshehadlearned,wasverysurehedidwantverymuchtoplaywithher。

  Billydidnotbeat,ofcourse。Butshedidseveraltimesexperience——forafewblissfulminutes——thepleasureofseeingBertramsitmotionless,studyingtheboard,becauseofamoveshehadmade。Andthough,intheend,herkingwasignominiouslytrappedwithnotanunguardedsquareuponwhichtosethispoordistractedfoot,thememoryofthoseblissfulminuteswhenshehadmadeBertramstare’morethanpaidforthefinalcheckmate。

  BythemiddleofJunethebabywaswellenoughtobetakentothebeach,andBertramwassofortunateastosecurethesamehousetheyhadoccupiedbefore。OnceagainWilliamwentdowninMaineforhisfishingtrip,andtheStratawasclosed。InthebeachhouseBertramwaspaintingindustriously——withhislefthand。

  AlmosthewasbeginningtofeelBilly’senthusiasm。

  Almosthewasbelievingthathe_was_doinggoodwork。ItwasnottheFaceofaGirl,’now。

  Itwasthefaceofababy:smiling,laughing,evencrying,sometimes;atothertimesjustgazingstraightintoyoureyeswithadorablesoberness。

  BertramstillwentintoBostontwiceaweekfortreatment,thoughthetreatmentitselfhadchanged。Thegreatsurgeonhadsenthimtostillanotherspecialist。

  There’sachance——thoughperhapsasmallone,’hehadsaid。I’dlikeyoutotryit,anyway。’

  Asthesummeradvanced,Bertramthoughtsometimesthathecouldseeaslightimprovementinhisinjuredarm;buthetriednottothinktoomuchaboutthis。Hehadthoughtthesamethingbefore,onlytobedisappointedintheend。Besides,hewasundeniablyinterestedjustnowinseeingifhe_could_paintwithhislefthand。Billywassosure,andshehadsaidthatshewouldbeprouderthaneverofhim,ifhecould——andhewouldliketomakeBillyproud!Then,too,therewasthebaby——hehadnoideaababycouldbesointerestingtopaint。

  HewasnotsurebutthathewasgoingtoliketopaintbabiesevenbetterthanhehadlikedtopainthisFaceofaGirl’thathadbroughthimhisfirstfame。

  InSeptemberthefamilyreturnedtotheStrata。

  ThemovewasmadealittleearlierthisyearonaccountofAliceGreggory’swedding。

  Alicewastobemarriedintheprettyliving-

  roomattheAnnex,justwhereBillyherselfhadbeenmarriedafewshortyearsbefore;andBillyhadgreatplansforthewedding——notallofwhichshewasabletocarryout,forAlice,likeMariebeforeher,hadverystrongobjectionstobeingplacedundertoogreatobligations。

  Andyousee,really,anyway,’shetoldBilly,Iowethewholethingtoyou,tobeginwith——

  evenmyhusband。’

  Nonsense!Ofcourseyoudon’t,’disputedBilly。

  ButIdo。Ifithadn’tbeenforyouIshouldneverhavefoundhimagain,andof_course_I

  shouldn’thavehadthisdearlittlehometobemarriedin。AndInevercouldhaveleftmotherifshehadn’thadAuntHannahandtheAnnexwhichmeansyou。AndifIhadn’tfoundMr。

  Arkwright,Imightneverhaveknownhow——

  howIcouldgobacktomyoldhomeasIamgoingonmyhoneymoontrip,andjustknowthateveryoneofmyoldfriendswhoshakeshandswithmeisn’tpityingmenow,becauseI’mmyfather’sdaughter。Andthatmeansyou;foryouseeIneverwouldhaveknownthatmyfather’snamewasclearedifithadn’tbeenforyou。

  And——’

  Oh,Alice,please,please,’beggedBilly,laughinglyraisingtwoprotestinghands。Whydon’tyousaythatit’stomeyouowejustbreathing,andbedonewithit?’

  Well,Iwill,then,’avowedAlice,doggedly。

  Andit’strue,too,for,honestly,mydear,I

  don’tbelieveIwouldhavebeenbreathingto-day,normother,either,ifyouhadn’tfoundusthatmorning,andtakenusoutofthoseawfulrooms。’

  I?Never!Youwouldn’tletmetakeyouout,’laughedBilly。Youproudlittlething!

  Maybe_you’ve_forgottenhowyouturnedpoorUncleWilliamandmeoutintothecold,coldworldthatmorning,justbecausewedaredtoaspiretoyourLowestoftteapot;butIhaven’t!’

  Oh,Billy,please,_don’t_,’beggedAlice,thepainfulcolorstainingherface。IfyouknewhowI’vehatedmyselfsinceforthewayIactedthatday——and,really,youdidtakeusawayfromthere,youknow。’

  No,Ididn’t。ImerelyfoundtwogoodtenantsforMr。andMrs。Delano,’correctedBilly,withasoberface。

  Oh,yes,Iknowallaboutthat,’smiledAlice,affectionately;andyougotmotherandmeheretokeepAuntHannahcompanyandteachTommyDunn;andyougotAuntHannahheretokeepuscompanyandtakecareofTommyDunn;andyougotTommyDunnheresoAuntHannahandwecouldhavesomebodytoteachandtakecareof;and,asfortheothers,——’

  ButBillyputherhandstoherearsandfled。

  Theweddingwastobeonthefifteenth。FromtheWestKatewrotethatofcourseitwasnoneofheraffairs,particularlyasneitheroftheinterestedpartieswasarelation,butstillsheshouldthinkthatforamaninMr。Arkwright’sposition,nothingbutachurchweddingwoulddoatall,as,ofcourse,hedid,inaway,belongtothepublic。Alice,however,declaredthatperhapshedidbelongtothepublic,whenhewasDonSomebody-

  or-otherindoubletandhose;butwhenhewasjustplainMichaelJeremiahArkwrightinafrockcoathewashers,andshedidnotproposetomakeaGrandOperashowofherwedding。

  AndasArkwright,too,verymuchdisapprovedofthechurch-weddingidea,thetwoweremarriedintheAnnexliving-roomatnoononthefifteenthasoriginallyplanned,inspiteofMrs。KateHartwell’sletter。

  ItwassoonaftertheweddingthatBertramtoldBillyhewishedshewouldsitforhimwithBertram,Jr。

  Iwanttotrymyhandatyoubothtogether,’

  hecoaxed。

  Why,ofcourse,ifyoulike,dear,’agreedBilly,promptly,thoughIthinkBabyisjustasnice,andevennicer,alone。’

  OnceagainalloverBertram’sstudiobegantoappearsketchesofBilly,thistimeaglorified,tenderBilly,withthewonderfulmother-loveinhereyes。Then,afterseveralsketchesoftrialposes,BertrambeganhispictureofBillyandthebabytogether。

  EvennowBertramwasnotsureofhiswork。

  Heknewthathecouldnotyetpaintwithhisoldfreedomandease;heknewthathisstrokewasnotsosure,sountrammeled。Butheknew,too,thathehadgainedwonderfully,duringthesummer,andthathewasgainingnow,everyday。

  ToBillyhesaidnothingofallthis。Eventohimselfhescarcelyputhishopeintowords;butinhisheartheknewthatwhathewasreallypaintinghisMotherandChild’pictureforwastheBohemianTenClubExhibitioninMarch——ifhecouldbutputuponcanvasthevisionthatwasspurringhimon。

  AndsoBertramworkedallthroughthoseshortwinterdays,notalwaysupontheonepicture,ofcourse,butuponsomepictureorsketchthatwouldhelptogivehisstilluncertainlefthandtheskillthathadbelongedtoitsmate。

  Andalways,cheering,encouraging,insistingonvictory,wasBilly,sothatevenhadBertrambeentempted,sometimes,togiveup,hecouldnothavedoneso——andfacedBilly’sgrieved,disappointedeyes。Andwhenatlasthisworkwascompleted,andthepicturedmotherandchildinalltheirmarvelouslifeandbeautyseemedreadytostepfromthecanvas,Billydrewalongecstaticbreath。

  Oh,Bertram,it_is_,itisthebestworkyouhaveeverdone。’Billywaslookingatthebaby。

  Alwaysshehadignoredherselfaspartofthepicture。Andwon’titbefinefortheExhibition!’

  Bertram’shandtightenedonthechair-backinfrontofhim。Foramomenthecouldnotspeak。Then,abithuskily,heasked:

  Wouldyoudare——riskit?’

  Riskit!Why,BertramHenshaw,I’vemeantthatpicturefortheExhibitionfromtheveryfirst——onlyIneverdreamedyoucouldgetitsoperfectlylovely。_Now_whatdoyousayaboutBabybeingnicerthananyold`FaceofaGirl’thatyoueverdid?’shetriumphed。

  AndBertram,who,eventohimself,hadnotdaredwhisperthewordexhibition,gaveatremulouslaughthatwasalmostasob,sooverwhelmingwashissuddenrealizationofwhatfaithandconfidencehadmeanttoBilly,hiswife。

  IftherewasstillalingeringdoubtinBertram’smind,itmusthavebeendispelledinlessthananhouraftertheBohemianTenClubExhibitionflungopenitsdoorsonitsopeningnight。OnceagainBertramfoundhispicturethecynosureofalladmiringeyes,andhimselfthecenterofanenthusiasticgroupoffriendsandfellow-artistswhoviedwitheachotherinheartywordsofcongratulation。Andwhen,later,thefearedcritics,whosenamesandopinionscountedforsomuchinhisworld,hadtheirsayinthedailypressandweeklyreviews,Bertramknewhowsurelyindeedhehadwon。AndwhenhereadthatHenshaw’sworkshowsnowapeculiarstrength,asortofreservepower,asitwere,which,beautifulaswashisformerwork,itnevershowedbefore,’hesmiledgrimly,andsaidtoBilly:

  Isuppose,now,thatwasthefightingIdidwithmygoodlefthand,eh,dear?’

  ButtherewasyetonemoredropthatwastomakeBertram’scupofjoybrimtooverflowing。

  ItcamejustonemonthaftertheExhibitionintheshapeofatersedozenwordsfromthedoctor。

  Bertramfairlyflewhomethatday。Hehadnoconsciousnessofanymeansoflocomotion。Hethoughthewasgoingtotellhiswifeatoncehisgreatgoodnews;butwhenhesawher,speechsuddenlyfled,andallthathecoulddowastodrawhercloselytohimwithhisleftarmandhidehisface。

  Why,Bertram,dearest,what——whatisit?’

  stammeredthethoroughlyfrightenedBilly。

  Hasanything-happened?’

  No,no——yes——yes,everythinghashappened。

  Imean,it’sgoingtohappen,’chokedtheman。Billy,thatoldchapsaysthatI’mgoingtohavemyarmagain。Thinkofit——mygoodrightarmthatI’velostsolong!’

  _Oh,Bertram!_’breathedBilly。Andshe,too,felltosobbing。

  Later,whenspeechwasmorecoherent,shefaltered:

  Well,anyway,itdoesn’tmakeanydifference_how_manybeautifulpicturesyoup-paint,afterthis,Bertram,I_can’t_beprouderofanythanI

  amoftheoneyourl——lefthanddid。’

  Oh,butIhaveyoutothankforallthat,dear。’

  No,youhaven’t,’disputedBilly,blinkingtearyeyes;but——’shepaused,thenwentonspiritedly,but,anyhow,I——Idon’tbelieveanyone——notevenKate——cansay_now_that——

  thatI’vebeenahindrancetoyouinyourc-career!’

  Hindrance!’scoffedBertram,inatonethatleftnoroomfordoubt,andwithakissthatleftevenless,ifpossible。

  Billy,forstillanotherminute,wassilent;then,withawistfulnessthatwashalfplayful,halfserious,shesighed:

  Bertram,Ibelievebeingmarriedissomethinglikeclocks,youknow,’speciallyatthefirst。’

  Clocks,dear?’

  Yes。IwasouttoAuntHannah’sto-day。

  Shewasfussingwithherclock——theonethatstrikeshalfanhourahead——andIsawallthosequantitiesofwheels,littleandbig,thathavetogojustso,withallthelittlecogsfittingintoalltheotherlittlecogsjustexactlyright。Well,that’slikemarriage。See?There’ssuchalotoflittlecogsineverydaylifethathavetobefittedsothey’llrunsmoothly——thathavetobeadjusted,’speciallyatthefirst。’

  Oh,Billy,whatanidea!’

  Butit’sso,really,Bertram。Anyhow,I

  knowmycogswerealwaysgettingoutofplaceatthefirst,’laughedBilly。AndIwaslikeAuntHannah’sclock,too,alwaysgoingoffhalfanhouraheadoftime。AndmaybeIshallbesoagain,sometimes。But,Bertram,’——hervoiceshookalittle——ifyou’lljustlookatmyfaceyou’llseethatItelltherighttimethere,justasAuntHannah’sclockdoes。I’msure,always,I’lltelltherighttimethere,evenifIdogooffhalfanhourahead!’

  AsifIdidn’tknowthat,’answeredBertram,verylowandtenderly。Besides,IreckonIhavesomecogsofmyownthatneedadjusting!’

  End

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