第153章
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  desecratedceremonyofmarriagetherehadsecretlybeenbetweenthem,andtheterrorsofwantandshamethathadoverwhelmedthembothwhenIwasfirstappointedtobetheinstrumentoftheirpunishment,andtheloveforshesaidthewordtome,downatmyfeetinwhichshehadabandonedhimandlefthimtome,wasitmyenemythatbecamemyfootstool,weretheythewordsofmywraththatmadehershrinkandquiver!Notuntomethestrengthbeascribed;notuntomethewringingoftheexpiation!’

  Manyyearshadcomeandgonesinceshehadhadthefreeuseevenofherfingers;butitwasnoticeablethatshehadalreadymorethanoncestruckherclenchedhandvigorouslyuponthetable,andthatwhenshesaidthesewordssheraisedherwholearmintheair,asthoughithadbeenacommonactionwithher。

  ’Andwhatwastherepentancethatwasextortedfromthehardnessofherheartandtheblacknessofherdepravity?I,vindictiveandimplacable?Itmaybeso,tosuchasyouwhoknownorighteousness,andnoappointmentexceptSatan’s。Laugh;butI

  willbeknownasIknowmyself,andasFlintwinchknowsme,thoughitisonlytoyouandthishalf-wittedwoman。’

  ’Add,toyourself,madame,’saidRigaud。’Ihavemylittlesuspicionsthatmadameisrathersolicitoustobejustifiedtoherself。’

  ’Itisfalse。Itisnotso。Ihavenoneedtobe,’shesaid,withgreatenergyandanger。

  ’Truly?’retortedRigaud。’Hah!’

  ’Iask,whatwasthepenitence,inworks,thatwasdemandedofher?

  “Youhaveachild;Ihavenone。Youlovethatchild。Givehimtome。Heshallbelievehimselftobemyson,andheshallbebelievedbyeveryonetobemyson。Tosaveyoufromexposure,hisfathershallswearnevertoseeorcommunicatewithyoumore;

  equallytosavehimfrombeingstrippedbyhisuncle,andtosaveyourchildfrombeingabeggar,youshallswearnevertoseeorcommunicatewitheitherofthemmore。Thatdone,andyourpresentmeans,derivedfrommyhusband,renounced,Ichargemyselfwithyoursupport。Youmay,withyourplaceofretreatunknown,thenleave,ifyouplease,uncontradictedbyme,theliethatwhenyoupassedoutofallknowledgebutmine,youmeritedagoodname。“

  Thatwasall。Shehadtosacrificehersinfulandshamefulaffections;nomore。Shewasthenfreetobearherloadofguiltinsecret,andtobreakherheartinsecret;andthroughsuchpresentmiserylightenoughforher,Ithink!topurchaseherredemptionfromendlessmisery,ifshecould。If,inthis,I

  punishedherhere,didInotopentoherawayhereafter?Ifsheknewherselftobesurroundedbyinsatiablevengeanceandunquenchablefires,weretheymine?IfIthreatenedher,thenandafterwards,withtheterrorsthatencompassedher,didIholdtheminmyrighthand?’

  Sheturnedthewatchuponthetable,andopenedit,and,withanunsofteningface,lookedattheworkedletterswithin。

  ’Theydidnotforget。Itisappointedagainstsuchoffencesthattheoffendersshallnotbeabletoforget。IfthepresenceofArthurwasadailyreproachtohisfather,andiftheabsenceofArthurwasadailyagonytohismother,thatwasthejustdispensationofJehovah。Aswellmightitbechargeduponme,thatthestingsofanawakenedconsciencedrovehermad,andthatitwasthewilloftheDisposerofallthingsthatsheshouldliveso,manyyears。Idevotedmyselftoreclaimtheotherwisepredestinedandlostboy;togivehimthereputationofanhonestorigin;tobringhimupinfearandtrembling,andinalifeofpracticalcontritionforthesinsthatwereheavyonhisheadbeforehisentranceintothiscondemnedworld。Wasthatacruelty?WasI,too,notvisitedwithconsequencesoftheoriginaloffenceinwhichIhadnocomplicity?Arthur’sfatherandIlivednofurtherapart,withhalftheglobebetweenus,thanwhenweweretogetherinthishouse。Hedied,andsentthiswatchbacktome,withitsDonotforget。IdoNOTforget,thoughIdonotreaditashedid。I

  readinit,thatIwasappointedtodothesethings。IhavesoreadthesethreeletterssinceIhavehadthemlyingonthistable,andIdidsoreadthem,withequaldistinctness,whentheywerethousandsofmilesaway。’

  Asshetookthewatch-caseinherhand,withthatnewfreedomintheuseofherhandofwhichsheshowednoconsciousnesswhatever,bendinghereyesuponitasifsheweredefyingittomoveher,Rigaudcriedwithaloudandcontemptuoussnappingofhisfingers。

  ’Come,madame!Timerunsout。Come,ladyofpiety,itmustbe!

  YoucantellnothingIdon’tknow。Cometothemoneystolen,orI

  will!Deathofmysoul,Ihavehadenoughofyourotherjargon。

  Comestraighttothestolenmoney!’

  ’Wretchthatyouare,’sheanswered,andnowherhandsclaspedherhead:’throughwhatfatalerrorofFlintwinch’s,throughwhatincompletenessonhispart,whowastheonlyotherpersonhelpinginthesethingsandtrustedwiththem,throughwhoseandwhatbringingtogetheroftheashesofaburntpaper,youhavebecomepossessedofthatcodicil,Iknownomorethanhowyouacquiredtherestofyourpowerhere——’

  ’Andyet,’interruptedRigaud,’itismyoddfortunetohavebyme,inaconvenientplacethatIknowof,thatsameshortlittleadditiontothewillofMonsieurGilbertClennam,writtenbyaladyandwitnessedbythesameladyandouroldintriguer!Ah,bah,oldintriguer,crookedlittlepuppet!Madame,letusgoon。Timepresses。YouorItofinish?’

  ’I!’sheanswered,withincreaseddetermination,ifitwerepossible。’I,becauseIwillnotenduretobeshownmyself,andhavemyselfshowntoanyone,withyourhorribledistortionuponme。You,withyourpracticesofinfamousforeignprisonsandgalleyswouldmakeitthemoneythatimpelledme。Itwasnotthemoney。’

  ’Bah,bah,bah!Irepudiate,forthemoment,mypoliteness,andsay,Lies,lies,lies。Youknowyousuppressedthedeedandkeptthemoney。’

  ’Notforthemoney’ssake,wretch!’Shemadeastruggleasifshewerestartingup;evenasif,inhervehemence,shehadalmostrisenonherdisabledfeet。’IfGilbertClennam,reducedtoimbecility,atthepointofdeath,andlabouringunderthedelusionofsomeimaginaryrelentingtowardsagirlofwhomhehadheardthathisnephewhadoncehadafancyforherwhichhehadcrushedoutofhim,andthatsheafterwardsdroopedawayintomelancholyandwithdrawalfromallwhoknewher——if,inthatstateofweakness,hedictatedtome,whoselifeshehaddarkenedwithhersin,andwhohadbeenappointedtoknowherwickednessfromherownhandandherownlips,abequestmeantasarecompensetoherforsupposedunmeritedsuffering;wastherenodifferencebetweenmyspurningthatinjustice,andcovetingmeremoney——athingwhichyou,andyourcomradesintheprisons,maystealfromanyone?’

  ’Timepresses,madame。Takecare!’

  ’Ifthishousewasblazingfromtherooftotheground,’shereturned,’Iwouldstayinittojustifymyselfagainstmyrighteousmotivesbeingclassedwiththoseofstabbersandthieves。’

  Rigaudsnappedhisfingerstauntinglyinherface。’Onethousandguineastothelittlebeautyyouslowlyhuntedtodeath。Onethousandguineastotheyoungestdaughterherpatronmighthaveatfifty,orifhehadnonebrother’syoungestdaughter,onhercomingofage,“astheremembrancehisdisinterestednessmaylikebest,ofhisprotectionofafriendlessyoungorphangirl。“Twothousandguineas。What!Youwillnevercometothemoney?’

  ’Thatpatron,’shewasvehementlyproceeding,whenhecheckedher。

  ’Names!CallhimMrFrederickDorrit。Nomoreevasions。’

  ’ThatFrederickDorritwasthebeginningofitall。Ifhehadnotbeenaplayerofmusic,andhadnotkept,inthosedaysofhisyouthandprosperity,anidlehousewheresingers,andplayers,andsuch-likechildrenofEvilturnedtheirbacksontheLightandtheirfacestotheDarkness,shemighthaveremainedinherlowlystation,andmightnothavebeenraisedoutofittobecastdown。

  But,no。SatanenteredintothatFrederickDorrit,andcounselledhimthathewasamanofinnocentandlaudabletasteswhodidkindactions,andthatherewasapoorgirlwithavoiceforsingingmusicwith。Thenheistohavehertaught。ThenArthur’sfather,whohasallalongbeensecretlypininginthewaysofvirtuousruggednessforthoseaccursedsnareswhicharecalledtheArts,becomesacquaintedwithher。Andso,agracelessorphan,trainingtobeasinginggirl,carriesit,bythatFrederickDorrit’sagency,againstme,andIamhumbledanddeceived!——NotI,thatistosay,’sheaddedquickly,ascolourflushedintoherface;’agreaterthanI。WhatamI?’

  JeremiahFlintwinch,whohadbeengraduallyscrewinghimselftowardsher,andwhowasnowverynearherelbowwithoutherknowingit,madeaspeciallywryfaceofobjectionwhenshesaidthesewords,andmoreovertwitchedhisgaiters,asifsuchpretensionswereequivalenttolittlebarbsinhislegs。

  ’Lastly,’shecontinued,’forIamattheendofthesethings,andIwillsaynomoreofthem,andyoushallsaynomoreofthem,andallthatremainswillbetodeterminewhethertheknowledgeofthemcanbekeptamonguswhoareherepresent;lastly,whenI

  suppressedthatpaper,withtheknowledgeofArthur’sfather——’

  ’Butnotwithhisconsent,youknow,’saidMrFlintwinch。

  ’Whosaidwithhisconsent?’ShestartedtofindJeremiahsonearher,anddrewbackherhead,lookingathimwithsomerisingdistrust。’YouwereoftenenoughbetweenuswhenhewouldhavehadmeproduceitandIwouldnot,tohavecontradictedmeifIhadsaid,withhisconsent。Isay,whenIsuppressedthatpaper,I

  madenoefforttodestroyit,butkeptitbyme,hereinthishouse,manyyears。TherestoftheGilbertpropertybeinglefttoArthur’sfather,Icouldatanytime,withoutunsettlingmorethanthetwosums,havemadeapretenceoffindingit。But,besidesthatImusthavesupportedsuchpretencebyadirectfalsehoodagreatresponsibility,Ihaveseennonewreason,inallthetimeIhavebeentriedhere,tobringittolight。Itwasarewardingofsin;thewrongresultofadelusion。IdidwhatIwasappointedtodo,andIhaveundergone,withinthesefourwalls,whatIwasappointedtoundergo。Whenthepaperwasatlastdestroyed——asI

  thought——inmypresence,shehadlongbeendead,andherpatron,FrederickDorrit,hadlongbeendeservedlyruinedandimbecile。Hehadnodaughter。Ihadfoundtheniecebeforethen;andwhatIdidforher,wasbetterforherfarthanthemoneyofwhichshewouldhavehadnogood。’Sheadded,afteramoment,asthoughsheaddressedthewatch:’Sheherselfwasinnocent,andImightnothaveforgottentorelinquishittoheratmydeath:’andsatlookingatit。

  ’ShallIrecallsomethingtoyou,worthymadame?’saidRigaud。

  ’Thelittlepaperwasinthishouseonthenightwhenourfriendtheprisoner——jail-comradeofmysoul——camehomefromforeigncountries。ShallIrecallyetsomethingmoretoyou?Thelittlesinging-birdthatneverwasfledged,waslongkeptinacagebyaguardianofyourappointing,wellenoughknowntoouroldintriguerhere。Shallwecoaxouroldintriguertotelluswhenhesawhimlast?’

  ’I’lltellyou!’criedAffery,unstoppinghermouth。’Idreamedit,firstofallmydreams。Jeremiah,ifyoucomea-nighmenow,I’llscreamtobeheardatStPaul’s!Thepersonasthismanhasspokenof,wasjeremiah’sowntwinbrother;andhewashereinthedeadofthenight,onthenightwhenArthurcomehome,andJeremiahwithhisownhandsgivehimthispaper,alongwithIdon’tknowwhatmore,andhetookitawayinanironbox——Help!Murder!SavemefromJere-mi-ah!’

  MrFlintwinchhadmadearunather,butRigaudhadcaughthiminhisarmsmidway。Afteramoment’swrestlewithhim,Flintwinchgaveup,andputhishandsinhispockets。

  ’What!’criedRigaud,rallyinghimashepokedandjerkedhimbackwithhiselbows,’assaultaladywithsuchageniusfordreaming!

  Ha,ha,ha!Why,she’llbeafortunetoyouasanexhibition。Allthatshedreamscomestrue。Ha,ha,ha!You’resolikehim,LittleFlintwinch。Solikehim,asIknewhimwhenIfirstspokeEnglishforhimtothehostintheCabaretoftheThreeBilliardTables,inthelittlestreetofthehighroofs,bythewharfatAntwerp!Ah,buthewasabraveboytodrink。Ah,buthewasabraveboytosmoke!Ah,buthelivedinasweetbachelor-

  apartment——furnished,onthefifthfloor,abovethewoodandcharcoalmerchant’s,andthedress-maker’s,andthechair-maker’s,andthemakeroftubs——whereIknewhimtoo,andwherewithhiscognacandtobacco,hehadtwelvesleepsadayandonefit,untilhehadafittoomuch,andascendedtotheskies。Ha,ha,ha!

  WhatdoesitmatterhowItookpossessionofthepapersinhisironbox?Perhapsheconfidedittomyhandsforyou,perhapsitwaslockedandmycuriositywaspiqued,perhapsIsuppressedit。Ha,ha,ha!Whatdoesitmatter,sothatIhaveitsafe?Wearenotparticularhere;hey,Flintwinch?Wearenotparticularhere;isitnotso,madame?’

  Retiringbeforehimwithviciouscounter-jerksofhisownelbows,MrFlintwinchhadgotbackintohiscorner,wherehenowstoodwithhishandsinhispockets,takingbreath,andreturningMrsClennam’sstare。’Ha,ha,ha!Butwhat’sthis?’criedRigaud。

  ’Itappearsasifyoudon’tknow,onetheother。Permitme,MadameClennamwhosuppresses,topresentMonsieurFlintwinchwhointrigues。’

  MrFlintwinch,unpocketingoneofhishandstoscrapehisjaw,advancedasteporsointhatattitude,stillreturningMrsClennam’slook,andthusaddressedher:

  ’Now,Iknowwhatyoumeanbyopeningyoureyessowideatme,butyouneedn’ttakethetrouble,becauseIdon’tcareforit。I’vebeentellingyouforhowmanyyearsthatyou’reoneofthemostopinionatedandobstinateofwomen。That’swhatYOUare。Youcallyourselfhumbleandsinful,butyouarethemostBumptiousofyoursex。That’swhatYOUare。Ihavetoldyou,overandoveragainwhenwehavehadatiff,thatyouwantedtomakeeverythinggodownbeforeyou,butIwouldn’tgodownbeforeyou——thatyouwantedtoswallowupeverybodyalive,butIwouldn’tbeswallowedupalive。

  Whydidn’tyoudestroythepaperwhenyoufirstlaidhandsuponit?

  Iadvisedyouto;butno,it’snotyourwaytotakeadvice。Youmustkeepitforsooth。Perhapsyoumaycarryitoutatsomeothertime,forsooth。AsifIdidn’tknowbetterthanthat!IthinkI

  seeyourpridecarryingitout,withachanceofbeingsuspectedofhavingkeptitbyyou。Butthat’sthewayyoucheatyourself。

  justasyoucheatyourselfintomakingoutthatyoudidn’tdoallthisbusinessbecauseyouwerearigorouswoman,allslight,andspite,andpower,andunforgiveness,butbecauseyouwereaservantandaminister,andwereappointedtodoit。Whoareyou,thatyoushouldbeappointedtodoit?Thatmaybeyourreligion,butit’smygammon。AndtotellyouallthetruthwhileIamaboutit,’

  saidMrFlintwinch,crossinghisarms,andbecomingtheexpressimageofirascibledoggedness,’Ihavebeenrasped——raspedthesefortyyears——byyourtakingsuchhighgroundevenwithme,whoknowsbetter;theeffectofitbeingcoollytoputmeonlowground。Iadmireyouverymuch;youareawomanofstrongheadandgreattalent;butthestrongesthead,andthegreatesttalent,can’traspamanforfortyyearswithoutmakinghimsore。SoI

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