’Ihavespokenofhimasstillliving，’sheadded，’buthemayhavebeenputoutofthewayforanythingIknow。ForanythingIcare，also。Ihavenofurtheroccasionforhim。’
Withaheavysighandadespondentair，ArthurClennamslowlyrose。
Shedidnotrisealso，butsaid，havinglookedathiminthemeanwhilewithafixedlookofsuspicion，andlipsangrilycompressed：
’Hewasthechosenassociateofyourdearfriend，MrGowan，washenot？Whydon’tyouaskyourdearfriendtohelpyou？’
ThedenialthathewasadearfriendrosetoArthur’slips；butherepressedit，rememberinghisoldstrugglesandresolutions，andsaid：
’FurtherthanthathehasneverseenBlandoissinceBlandoissetoutforEngland，MrGowanknowsnothingadditionalabouthim。Hewasachanceacquaintance，madeabroad。’
’Achanceacquaintancemadeabroad!’sherepeated。’Yes。Yourdearfriendhasneedtodiverthimselfwithalltheacquaintanceshecanmake，seeingwhatawifehehas。Ihatehiswife，sir。’
Theangerwithwhichshesaidit，themoreremarkableforbeingsomuchunderherrestraint，fixedClennam’sattention，andkepthimonthespot。Itflashedoutofherdarkeyesastheyregardedhim，quiveredinhernostrils，andfiredtheverybreathsheexhaled；
butherfacewasotherwisecomposedintoadisdainfulserenity；andherattitudewasascalmlyandhaughtilygracefulasifshehadbeeninamoodofcompleteindifference。
’AllIwillsayis，MissWade，’heremarked，’thatyoucanhavereceivednoprovocationtoafeelinginwhichIbelieveyouhavenosharer。’
’Youmayaskyourdearfriend，ifyouchoose，’shereturned，’forhisopinionuponthatsubject。’
’Iamscarcelyonthoseintimatetermswithmydearfriend，’saidArthur，inspiteofhisresolutions，’thatwouldrendermyapproachingthesubjectveryprobable，MissWade。’
’Ihatehim，’shereturned。’Worsethanhiswife，becauseIwasoncedupeenough，andfalseenoughtomyself，almosttolovehim。
Youhaveseenme，sir，onlyoncommon-placeoccasions，whenIdaresayyouhavethoughtmeacommon-placewoman，alittlemoreself-
willedthanthegenerality。Youdon’tknowwhatImeanbyhating，ifyouknowmenobetterthanthat；youcan’tknow，withoutknowingwithwhatcareIhavestudiedmyselfandpeopleaboutme。ForthisreasonIhaveforsometimeinclinedtotellyouwhatmylifehasbeen——nottopropitiateyouropinion，forIsetnovalueonit；butthatyoumaycomprehend，whenyouthinkofyourdearfriendandhisdearwife，whatImeanbyhating。ShallIgiveyousomethingI
havewrittenandputbyforyourperusal，orshallIholdmyhand？’
Arthurbeggedhertogiveittohim。Shewenttothebureau，unlockedit，andtookfromaninnerdrawerafewfoldedsheetsofpaper。Withoutanyconciliationofhim，scarcelyaddressinghim，ratherspeakingasifshewerespeakingtoherownlooking-glassforthejustificationofherownstubbornness，shesaid，asshegavethemtohim：
’NowyoumayknowwhatImeanbyhating!Nomoreofthat。Sir，whetheryoufindmetemporarilyandcheaplylodginginanemptyLondonhouse，orinaCalaisapartment，youfindHarrietwithme。
Youmayliketoseeherbeforeyouleave。Harriet，comein!’ShecalledHarrietagain。ThesecondcallproducedHarriet，onceTattycoram。
’HereisMrClennam，’saidMissWade；’notcomeforyou；hehasgivenyouup，——Isupposeyouhave，bythistime？’
’Havingnoauthority，orinfluence——yes，’assentedClennam。
’Notcomeinsearchofyou，yousee；butstillseekingsomeone。
HewantsthatBlandoisman。’
’WithwhomIsawyouintheStrandinLondon，’hintedArthur。
’Ifyouknowanythingofhim，Harriet，exceptthathecamefromVenice——whichweallknow——tellittoMrClennamfreely。’
’Iknownothingmoreabouthim，’saidthegirl。
’Areyousatisfied？’MissWadeinquiredofArthur。
Hehadnoreasontodisbelievethem；thegirl’smannerbeingsonaturalastobealmostconvincing，ifhehadhadanypreviousdoubts。Hereplied，’Imustseekforintelligenceelsewhere。’
Hewasnotgoinginthesamebreath；buthehadrisenbeforethegirlentered，andsheevidentlythoughthewas。Shelookedquicklyathim，andsaid：
’Aretheywell，sir？’
’Who？’
Shestoppedherselfinsayingwhatwouldhavebeen’allofthem；’
glancedatMissWade；andsaid’MrandMrsMeagles。’
’Theywere，whenIlastheardofthem。Theyarenotathome。Bytheway，letmeaskyou。Isittruethatyouwereseenthere？’
’Where？WheredoesanyonesayIwasseen？’returnedthegirl，sullenlycastingdownhereyes。
’Lookinginatthegardengateofthecottage。’
’No，’saidMissWade。’Shehasneverbeennearit。’
’Youarewrong，then，’saidthegirl。’IwentdowntherethelasttimewewereinLondon。Iwentoneafternoonwhenyouleftmealone。AndIdidlookin。’
’Youpoor-spiritedgirl，’returnedMissWadewithinfinitecontempt；’doesallourcompanionship，doallourconversations，doallyouroldcomplainings，tellforsolittleasthat？’
’Therewasnoharminlookinginatthegateforaninstant，’saidthegirl。’Isawbythewindowsthatthefamilywerenotthere。’
’Whyshouldyougoneartheplace？’
’BecauseIwantedtoseeit。BecauseIfeltthatIshouldliketolookatitagain。’
Aseachofthetwohandsomefaceslookedattheother，Clennamfelthoweachofthetwonaturesmustbeconstantlytearingtheothertopieces。
’Oh!’saidMissWade，coldlysubduingandremovingherglance；’ifyouhadanydesiretoseetheplacewhereyouledthelifefromwhichIrescuedyoubecauseyouhadfoundoutwhatitwas，thatisanotherthing。Butisthatyourtruthtome？Isthatyourfidelitytome？IsthatthecommoncauseImakewithyou？YouarenotworththeconfidenceIhaveplacedinyou。YouarenotworththefavourIhaveshownyou。Youarenohigherthanaspaniel，andhadbettergobacktothepeoplewhodidworsethanwhipyou。’
’Ifyouspeaksoofthemwithanyoneelsebytohear，you’llprovokemetotaketheirpart，’saidthegirl。
’Gobacktothem，’MissWaderetorted。’Gobacktothem。’
’Youknowverywell，’retortedHarrietinherturn，’thatIwon’tgobacktothem。YouknowverywellthatIhavethrownthemoff，andnevercan，nevershall，neverwill，gobacktothem。Letthemalone，then，MissWade。’
’Youprefertheirplentytoyourlessfatlivinghere，’sherejoined。’Youexaltthem，andslightme。WhatelseshouldIhaveexpected？Ioughttohaveknownit。’
’It’snotso，’saidthegirl，flushinghigh，’andyoudon’tsaywhatyoumean。Iknowwhatyoumean。Youarereproachingme，underhanded，withhavingnobodybutyoutolookto。AndbecauseI
havenobodybutyoutolookto，youthinkyouaretomakemedo，ornotdo，everythingyouplease，andaretoputanyaffrontuponme。
Youareasbadastheywere，everybit。ButIwillnotbequitetamed，andmadesubmissive。IwillsayagainthatIwenttolookatthehouse，becauseIhadoftenthoughtthatIshouldliketoseeitoncemore。Iwillaskagainhowtheyare，becauseIoncelikedthemandattimesthoughttheywerekindtome。’
HereuponClennamsaidthathewassuretheywouldstillreceiveherkindly，ifsheshouldeverdesiretoreturn。
’Never!’saidthegirlpassionately。’Ishallneverdothat。
NobodyknowsthatbetterthanMissWade，thoughshetauntsmebecauseshehasmademeherdependent。AndIknowIamso；andI
knowsheisoverjoyedwhenshecanbringittomymind。’
’Agoodpretence!’saidMissWade，withnolessanger，haughtiness，andbitterness；’buttoothreadbaretocoverwhatIplainlyseeinthis。Mypovertywillnotbearcompetitionwiththeirmoney。
Bettergobackatonce，bettergobackatonce，andhavedonewithit!’
ArthurClennamlookedatthem，standingalittledistanceasunderinthedullconfinedroom，eachproudlycherishingherownanger；
each，withafixeddetermination，torturingherownbreast，andtorturingtheother’s。Hesaidawordortwoofleave-taking；butMissWadebarelyinclinedherhead，andHarriet，withtheassumedhumiliationofanabjectdependentandserfbutnotwithoutdefianceforallthat，madeasifsheweretoolowtonoticeortobenoticed。
Hecamedownthedarkwindingstairsintotheyardwithanincreasedsenseuponhimofthegloomofthewallthatwasdead，andoftheshrubsthatweredead，andofthefountainthatwasdry，andofthestatuethatwasgone。Ponderingmuchonwhathehadseenandheardinthathouse，aswellasonthefailureofallhiseffortstotracethesuspiciouscharacterwhowaslost，hereturnedtoLondonandtoEnglandbythepacketthathadtakenhimover。Onthewayheunfoldedthesheetsofpaper，andreadinthemwhatisreproducedinthenextchapter。
CHAPTER21
TheHistoryofaSelf-TormentorIhavethemisfortuneofnotbeingafool。FromaveryearlyageIhavedetectedwhatthoseaboutmethoughttheyhidfromme。IfIcouldhavebeenhabituallyimposedupon，insteadofhabituallydiscerningthetruth，Imighthavelivedassmoothlyasmostfoolsdo。
Mychildhoodwaspassedwithagrandmother；thatistosay，withaladywhorepresentedthatrelativetome，andwhotookthattitleonherself。Shehadnoclaimtoit，butI——beingtothatextentalittlefool——hadnosuspicionofher。Shehadsomechildrenofherownfamilyinherhouse，andsomechildrenofotherpeople。Allgirls；teninnumber，includingme。Wealllivedtogetherandwereeducatedtogether。
ImusthavebeenabouttwelveyearsoldwhenIbegantoseehowdeterminedlythosegirlspatronisedme。IwastoldIwasanorphan。Therewasnootherorphanamongus；andIperceivedherewasthefirstdisadvantageofnotbeingafoolthattheyconciliatedmeinaninsolentpity，andinasenseofsuperiority。
Ididnotsetthisdownasadiscovery，rashly。Itriedthemoften。Icouldhardlymakethemquarrelwithme。WhenIsucceededwithanyofthem，theyweresuretocomeafteranhourortwo，andbeginareconciliation。Itriedthemoverandoveragain，andI