第95章
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  WhenIgoabouthereinagondola,IsurprisemyselflookingintoothergondolasasifIhopedtoseethem。Itwouldovercomemewithjoytoseethem,butIdon’tthinkitwouldsurprisememuch,atfirst。Inmyfancifultimes,Ifancythattheymightbeanywhere;andIalmostexpecttoseetheirdearfacesonthebridgesorthequays。

  AnotherdifficultythatIhavewillseemverystrangetoyou。Itmustseemverystrangetoanyonebutme,anddoeseventome:I

  oftenfeeltheoldsadpityfor——Ineednotwritetheword——forhim。Changedasheis,andinexpressiblyblestandthankfulasI

  alwaysamtoknowit,theoldsorrowfulfeelingofcompassioncomesuponmesometimeswithsuchstrengththatIwanttoputmyarmsroundhisneck,tellhimhowIlovehim,andcryalittleonhisbreast。Ishouldbegladafterthat,andproudandhappy。ButI

  knowthatImustnotdothis;thathewouldnotlikeit,thatFannywouldbeangry,thatMrsGeneralwouldbeamazed;andsoIquietmyself。Yetindoingso,IstrugglewiththefeelingthatIhavecometobeatadistancefromhim;andthateveninthemidstofalltheservantsandattendants,heisdeserted,andinwantofme。

  DearMrClennam,Ihavewrittenagreatdealaboutmyself,butI

  mustwritealittlemorestill,orwhatIwantedmostofalltosayinthisweakletterwouldbeleftoutofit。Inallthesefoolishthoughtsofmine,whichIhavebeensohardyastoconfesstoyoubecauseIknowyouwillunderstandmeifanybodycan,andwillmakemoreallowanceformethananybodyelsewouldifyoucannot——inallthesethoughts,thereisonethoughtscarcelyever——never——outofmymemory,andthatisthatIhopeyousometimes,inaquietmoment,haveathoughtforme。Imusttellyouthatastothis,I

  havefelt,eversinceIhavebeenaway,ananxietywhichIamveryanxioustorelieve。Ihavebeenafraidthatyoumaythinkofmeinanewlight,oranewcharacter。Don’tdothat,Icouldnotbearthat——itwouldmakememoreunhappythanyoucansuppose。ItwouldbreakmyhearttobelievethatyouthoughtofmeinanywaythatwouldmakemestrangertoyouthanIwaswhenyouweresogoodtome。WhatIhavetoprayandentreatofyouis,thatyouwillneverthinkofmeasthedaughterofarichperson;thatyouwillneverthinkofmeasdressinganybetter,orlivinganybetter,thanwhenyoufirstknewme。Thatyouwillremembermeonlyasthelittleshabbygirlyouprotectedwithsomuchtenderness,fromwhosethreadbaredressyouhavekeptawaytherain,andwhosewetfeetyouhavedriedatyourfire。Thatyouwillthinkofmewhenyouthinkofmeatall,andofmytrueaffectionanddevotedgratitude,alwayswithoutchange,asofyourpoorchild,LITTLEDORRIT。

  P。S——ParticularlyrememberthatyouarenottobeuneasyaboutMrsGowan。Herwordswere,’Verywellandveryhappy。’Andshelookedmostbeautiful。

  SomethingWrongSomewhereThefamilyhadbeenamonthortwoatVenice,whenMrDorrit,whowasmuchamongCountsandMarquises,andhadbutscantleisure,setanhourofonedayapart,beforehand,forthepurposeofholdingsomeconferencewithMrsGeneral。

  Thetimehehadreservedinhismindarriving,hesentMrTinkler,hisvalet,toMrsGeneral’sapartmentwhichwouldhaveabsorbedaboutathirdoftheareaoftheMarshalsea,topresenthiscomplimentstothatlady,andrepresenthimasdesiringthefavourofaninterview。Itbeingthatperiodoftheforenoonwhenthevariousmembersofthefamilyhadcoffeeintheirownchambers,somecoupleofhoursbeforeassemblingatbreakfastinafadedhallwhichhadoncebeensumptuous,butwasnowthepreyofwateryvapoursandasettledmelancholy,MrsGeneralwasaccessibletothevalet。Thatenvoyfoundheronalittlesquareofcarpet,soextremelydiminutiveinreferencetothesizeofherstoneandmarblefloorthatshelookedasifshemighthavehaditspreadforthetryingonofaready-madepairofshoes;orasifshehadcomeintopossessionoftheenchantedpieceofcarpet,boughtforfortypursesbyoneofthethreeprincesintheArabianNights,andhadthatmomentbeentransportedonit,atawish,intoapalatialsaloonwithwhichithadnoconnection。

  MrsGeneral,replyingtotheenvoy,asshesetdownheremptycoffee-cup,thatshewaswillingatoncetoproceedtoMrDorrit’sapartment,andsparehimthetroubleofcomingtoherwhich,inhisgallantry,hehadproposed,theenvoythrewopenthedoor,andescortedMrsGeneraltothepresence。Itwasquiteawalk,bymysteriousstaircasesandcorridors,fromMrsGeneral’sapartment,——hoodwinkedbyanarrowsidestreetwithalowgloomybridgeinit,anddungeon-likeoppositetenements,theirwallsbesmearedwithathousanddownwardstainsandstreaks,asifeverycrazyapertureinthemhadbeenweepingtearsofrustintotheAdriaticforcenturies——toMrDorrit’sapartment:withawholeEnglishhouse-

  frontofwindow,aprospectofbeautifulchurch-domesrisingintotheblueskysheeroutofthewaterwhichreflectedthem,andahushedmurmuroftheGrandCanallavingthedoorwaysbelow,wherehisgondolasandgondoliersattendedhispleasure,drowsilyswinginginalittleforestofpiles。

  MrDorrit,inaresplendentdressing-gownandcap——thedormantgrubthathadsolongbideditstimeamongtheCollegianshadburstintoararebutterfly——rosetoreceiveMrsGeneral。AchairtoMrsGeneral。Aneasierchair,sir;whatareyoudoing,whatareyouabout,whatdoyoumean?Now,leaveus!

  ’MrsGeneral,’saidMrDorrit,’Itooktheliberty——’

  ’Bynomeans,’MrsGeneralinterposed。’Iwasquiteatyourdisposition。Ihadhadmycoffee。’

  ’——Itooktheliberty,’saidMrDorritagain,withthemagnificentplacidityofonewhowasabovecorrection,’tosolicitthefavourofalittleprivateconversationwithyou,becauseIfeelratherworriedrespectingmy——ha——myyoungerdaughter。Youwillhaveobservedagreatdifferenceoftemperament,madam,betweenmytwodaughters?’

  SaidMrsGeneralinresponse,crossingherglovedhandsshewasneverwithoutgloves,andtheynevercreasedandalwaysfitted,’Thereisagreatdifference。’

  ’MayIasktobefavouredwithyourviewofit?’saidMrDorrit,withadeferencenotincompatiblewithmajesticserenity。

  ’Fanny,’returnedMrsGeneral,’hasforceofcharacterandself-

  reliance。Amy,none。’

  None?OMrsGeneral,asktheMarshalseastonesandbars。OMrsGeneral,askthemillinerwhotaughthertowork,andthedancing-

  masterwhotaughthersistertodance。OMrsGeneral,MrsGeneral,askme,herfather,whatIoweher;andhearmytestimonytouchingthelifeofthisslightedlittlecreaturefromherchildhoodup!

  NosuchadjurationenteredMr。Dorrit’shead。HelookedatMrsGeneral,seatedinherusualerectattitudeonhercoach-boxbehindtheproprieties,andhesaidinathoughtfulmanner,’True,madam。’

  ’Iwouldnot,’saidMrsGeneral,’beunderstoodtosay,observe,thatthereisnothingtoimproveinFanny。Butthereismaterialthere——perhaps,indeed,alittletoomuch。’

  ’Willyoubekindenough,madam,’saidMrDorrit,’tobe——ha——moreexplicit?Idonotquiteunderstandmyelderdaughter’shaving——

  hum——toomuchmaterial。Whatmaterial?’

  ’Fanny,’returnedMrsGeneral,’atpresentformstoomanyopinions。

  Perfectbreedingformsnone,andisneverdemonstrative。’

  Lesthehimselfshouldbefounddeficientinperfectbreeding,MrDorrithastenedtoreply,’Unquestionably,madam,youareright。’

  MrsGeneralreturned,inheremotionlessandexpressionlessmanner,’Ibelieveso。’

  ’Butyouareaware,mydearmadam,’saidMrDorrit,’thatmydaughtershadthemisfortunetolosetheirlamentedmotherwhentheywereveryyoung;andthat,inconsequenceofmynothavingbeenuntillatelytherecognisedheirtomyproperty,theyhavelivedwithmeasacomparativelypoor,thoughalwaysproud,gentleman,in——hahum——retirement!’

  ’Idonot,’saidMrsGeneral,’losesightofthecircumstance。’

  ’Madam,’pursuedMrDorrit,’ofmydaughterFanny,underherpresentguidanceandwithsuchanexampleconstantlybeforeher——’

  MrsGeneralshuthereyes。——

  ’Ihavenomisgivings。ThereisadaptabilityofcharacterinFanny。Butmyyoungerdaughter,MrsGeneral,ratherworriesandvexesmythoughts。Imustinformyouthatshehasalwaysbeenmyfavourite。’

  ’Thereisnoaccounting,’saidMrsGeneral,’forthesepartialities。’

  ’Ha——no,’assentedMrDorrit。’No。Now,madam,IamtroubledbynoticingthatAmyisnot,sotospeak,oneofourselves。ShedoesnotCaretogoaboutwithus;sheislostinthesocietywehavehere;ourtastesareevidentlynothertastes。Which,’saidMrDorrit,summingupwithjudicialgravity,’istosay,inotherwords,thatthereissomethingwrongin——ha——Amy。’

  ’Mayweinclinetothesupposition,’saidMrsGeneral,withalittletouchofvarnish,’thatsomethingisreferabletothenoveltyoftheposition?’

  ’Excuseme,madam,’observedMrDorrit,ratherquickly。’Thedaughterofagentleman,though——ha——himselfatonetimecomparativelyfarfromaffluent——comparatively——andherselfrearedin——hum——retirement,neednotofnecessityfindthispositionsoverynovel。’

  ’True,’saidMrsGeneral,’true。’

  ’Therefore,madam,’saidMrDorrit,’Itooktheliberty’helaidanemphasisonthephraseandrepeatedit,asthoughhestipulated,withurbanefirmness,thathemustnotbecontradictedagain,’I

  tookthelibertyofrequestingthisinterview,inorderthatI

  mightmentionthetopictoyou,andinquirehowyouwouldadviseme?’

  ’MrDorrit,’returnedMrsGeneral,’IhaveconversedwithAmyseveraltimessincewehavebeenresidinghere,onthegeneralsubjectoftheformationofademeanour。ShehasexpressedherselftomeaswonderingexceedinglyatVenice。Ihavementionedtoherthatitisbetternottowonder。IhavepointedouttoherthatthecelebratedMrEustace,theclassicaltourist,didnotthinkmuchofit;andthathecomparedtheRialto,greatlytoitsdisadvantage,withWestminsterandBlackfriarsBridges。Ineednotadd,afterwhatyouhavesaid,thatIhavenotyetfoundmyargumentssuccessful。Youdomethehonourtoaskmewhattoadvise。Italwaysappearstomeifthisshouldprovetobeabaselessassumption,Ishallbepardoned,thatMrDorrithasbeenaccustomedtoexerciseinfluenceoverthemindsofothers。’

  ’Hum——madam,’saidMrDorrit,’Ihavebeenattheheadof——haofaconsiderablecommunity。YouarerightinsupposingthatIamnotunaccustomedto——aninfluentialposition。’

  ’Iamhappy,’returnedMrsGeneral,’tobesocorroborated。I

  wouldthereforethemoreconfidentlyrecommendthatMrDorritshouldspeaktoAmyhimself,andmakehisobservationsandwishesknowntoher。Beinghisfavourite,besides,andnodoubtattachedtohim,sheisallthemorelikelytoyieldtohisinfluence。’

  ’Ihadanticipatedyoursuggestion,madam,’saidMrDorrit,’but——

  ha——wasnotsurethatImight——hum——notencroachon——’

  ’Onmyprovince,MrDorrit?’saidMrsGeneral,graciously。’Donotmentionit。’

  ’Then,withyourleave,madam,’resumedMrDorrit,ringinghislittlebelltosummonhisvalet,’Iwillsendforheratonce。’

  ’DoesMrDorritwishmetoremain?’

  ’Perhaps,ifyouhavenootherengagement,youwouldnotobjectforaminuteortwo——’

  ’Notatall。’

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