第78章
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  ’Such,yousee,MrClennam,’saidtheFather,’aretheincongruitiesofmypositionhere。Butapublicduty!Noman,I

  amsure,wouldmorereadilyrecogniseapublicdutythanyourself。’

  Clennambesoughthimnottodelayamoment。

  ’Amy,mydear,ifyoucanpersuadeMrClennamtostaylonger,Icanleavethehonoursofourpoorapologyforanestablishmentwithconfidenceinyourhands,andperhapsyoumaydosomethingtowardserasingfromMrClennam’smindthe——ha——untowardandunpleasantcircumstancewhichhasoccurredsincetea-time。’

  Clennamassuredhimthatithadmadenoimpressiononhismind,andthereforerequirednoerasure。

  ’Mydearsir,’saidtheFather,witharemovalofhisblackcapandagraspofClennam’shand,combiningtoexpressthesafereceiptofhisnoteandenclosurethatafternoon,’Heaveneverblessyou!’

  So,atlast,Clennam’spurposeinremainingwasattained,andhecouldspeaktoLittleDorritwithnobodyby。Maggycountedasnobody,andshewasby。

  MoreFortune-TellingMaggysatatherworkinhergreatwhitecapwithitsquantityofopaquefrillinghidingwhatprofileshehadshehadnonetospare,andherserviceableeyebroughttobearuponheroccupation,onthewindowsideoftheroom。Whatwithherflappingcap,andwhatwithherunserviceableeye,shewasquitepartitionedofffromherLittleMother,whoseseatwasoppositethewindow。

  ThetreadandshuffleoffeetonthepavementoftheyardhadmuchdiminishedsincethetakingoftheChair,thetideofCollegianshavingsetstronglyinthedirectionofHarmony。Somefewwhohadnomusicintheirsouls,ornomoneyintheirpockets,dawdledabout;andtheoldspectacleofthevisitor-wifeandthedepressedunseasonedprisonerstilllingeredincorners,asbrokencobwebsandsuchunsightlydiscomfortsdraggleincornersofotherplaces。

  ItwasthequietesttimetheCollegeknew,savingthenighthourswhentheCollegianstookthebenefitoftheactofsleep。TheoccasionalrattleofapplauseuponthetablesoftheSnuggery,denotedthesuccessfulterminationofamorselofHarmony;ortheresponsiveacceptance,bytheunitedchildren,ofsometoastorsentimentofferedtothembytheirFather。Occasionally,avocalstrainmoresonorousthanthegeneralityinformedthelistenerthatsomeboastfulbasswasinbluewater,orinthehuntingfield,orwiththereindeer,oronthemountain,oramongtheheather;buttheMarshaloftheMarshalseaknewbetter,andhadgothimhardandfast。

  AsArthurClennammovedtositdownbythesideofLittleDorrit,shetrembledsothatshehadmuchadotoholdherneedle。Clennamgentlyputhishanduponherwork,andsaid,’DearLittleDorrit,letmelayitdown。’

  Sheyieldedittohim,andheputitaside。Herhandswerethennervouslyclaspingtogether,buthetookoneofthem。

  ’HowseldomIhaveseenyoulately,LittleDorrit!’

  ’Ihavebeenbusy,sir。’

  ’ButIheardonlyto-day,’saidClennam,’bymereaccident,ofyourhavingbeenwiththosegoodpeopleclosebyme。Whynotcometome,then?’

  ’I——Idon’tknow。Orrather,Ithoughtyoumightbebusytoo。Yougenerallyarenow,areyounot?’

  Hesawhertremblinglittleformandherdowncastface,andtheeyesthatdroopedthemomenttheywereraisedtohis——hesawthemalmostwithasmuchconcernastenderness。

  ’Mychild,yourmannerissochanged!’

  Thetremblingwasnowquitebeyondhercontrol。Softlywithdrawingherhand,andlayingitinherotherhand,shesatbeforehimwithherheadbentandherwholeformtrembling。

  ’MyownLittleDorrit,’saidClennam,compassionately。

  Sheburstintotears。Maggylookedroundofasudden,andstaredforatleastaminute;butdidnotinterpose。Clennamwaitedsomelittlewhilebeforehespokeagain。

  ’Icannotbear,’hesaidthen,’toseeyouweep;butIhopethisisarelieftoanoverchargedheart。’

  ’Yesitis,sir。Nothingbutthat。’

  ’Well,well!Ifearedyouwouldthinktoomuchofwhatpassedherejustnow。Itisofnomoment;nottheleast。Iamonlyunfortunatetohavecomeintheway。Letitgobywiththesetears。Itisnotworthoneofthem。Oneofthem?Suchanidlethingshouldberepeated,withmygladconsent,fiftytimesaday,tosaveyouamoment’sheart-ache,LittleDorrit。’

  Shehadtakencouragenow,andanswered,farmoreinherusualmanner,’Youaresogood!Buteveniftherewasnothingelseinittobesorryforandashamedof,itissuchabadreturntoyou——’

  ’Hush!’saidClennam,smilingandtouchingherlipswithhishand。

  ’Forgetfulnessinyouwhoremembersomanyandsomuch,wouldbenewindeed。ShallIremindyouthatIamnot,andthatIneverwas,anythingbutthefriendwhomyouagreedtotrust?No。Yourememberit,don’tyou?’

  ’Itrytodoso,orIshouldhavebrokenthepromisejustnow,whenmymistakenbrotherwashere。Youwillconsiderhisbringing-upinthisplace,andwillnotjudgehimhardly,poorfellow,Iknow!’

  Inraisinghereyeswiththesewords,sheobservedhisfacemorenearlythanshehaddoneyet,andsaid,withaquickchangeoftone,’Youhavenotbeenill,MrClennam?’

  ’No。’

  ’Nortried?Norhurt?’sheaskedhim,anxiously。

  ItfelltoClennamnow,tobenotquitecertainhowtoanswer。Hesaidinreply:

  ’Tospeakthetruth,Ihavebeenalittletroubled,butitisover。

  DoIshowitsoplainly?Ioughttohavemorefortitudeandself-

  commandthanthat。IthoughtIhad。Imustlearnthemofyou。

  Whocouldteachmebetter!’

  Heneverthoughtthatshesawinhimwhatnooneelsecouldsee。

  Heneverthoughtthatinthewholeworldtherewerenoothereyesthatlookeduponhimwiththesamelightandstrengthashers。

  ’ButitbringsmetosomethingthatIwishtosay,’hecontinued,’andthereforeIwillnotquarrelevenwithmyownfacefortellingtalesandbeingunfaithfultome。Besides,itisaprivilegeandpleasuretoconfideinmyLittleDorrit。Letmeconfessthen,that,forgettinghowgraveIwas,andhowoldIwas,andhowthetimeforsuchthingshadgonebymewiththemanyyearsofsamenessandlittlehappinessthatmadeupmylonglifefaraway,withoutmarkingit——that,forgettingallthis,IfanciedIlovedsomeone。’

  ’DoIknowher,sir?’askedLittleDorrit。

  ’No,mychild。’

  ’Nottheladywhohasbeenkindtomeforyoursake?’

  ’Flora。No,no。Doyouthink——’

  ’Ineverquitethoughtso,’saidLittleDorrit,moretoherselfthanhim。’Ididwonderatitalittle。’

  ’Well!’saidClennam,abidingbythefeelingthathadfallenonhimintheavenueonthenightoftheroses,thefeelingthathewasanolderman,whohaddonewiththattenderpartoflife,’Ifoundoutmymistake,andIthoughtaboutitalittle——inshort,agooddeal——andgotwiser。Beingwiser,IcountedupmyyearsandconsideredwhatIam,andlookedback,andlookedforward,andfoundthatIshouldsoonbegrey。IfoundthatIhadclimbedthehill,andpassedthelevelgrounduponthetop,andwasdescendingquickly。’

  Ifhehadknownthesharpnessofthepainhecausedthepatientheart,inspeakingthus!Whiledoingit,too,withthepurposeofeasingandservingher。

  ’Ifoundthatthedaywhenanysuchthingwouldhavebeengracefulinme,orgoodinme,orhopefulorhappyformeoranyoneinconnectionwithme,wasgone,andwouldnevershineagain。’

  O!Ifhehadknown,ifhehadknown!Ifhecouldhaveseenthedaggerinhishand,andthecruelwoundsitstruckinthefaithfulbleedingbreastofhisLittleDorrit!

  ’Allthatisover,andIhaveturnedmyfacefromit。WhydoI

  speakofthistoLittleDorrit?WhydoIshowyou,mychild,thespaceofyearsthatthereisbetweenus,andrecalltoyouthatI

  havepassed,bytheamountofyourwholelife,thetimethatispresenttoyou?’

  ’Becauseyoutrustme,Ihope。Becauseyouknowthatnothingcantouchyouwithouttouchingme;thatnothingcanmakeyouhappyorunhappy,butitmustmakeme,whoamsogratefultoyou,thesame。’

  Heheardthethrillinhervoice,hesawherearnestface,hesawhercleartrueeyes,hesawthequickenedbosomthatwouldhavejoyfullythrownitselfbeforehimtoreceiveamortalwounddirectedathisbreast,withthedyingcry,’Ilovehim!’andtheremotestsuspicionofthetruthneverdawneduponhismind。No。

  Hesawthedevotedlittlecreaturewithherwornshoes,inhercommondress,inherjail-home;aslenderchildinbody,astrongheroineinsoul;andthelightofherdomesticstorymadeallelsedarktohim。

  ’Forthosereasonsassuredly,LittleDorrit,butforanothertoo。

  Sofarremoved,sodifferent,andsomucholder,Iamthebetterfittedforyourfriendandadviser。Imean,Iamthemoreeasilytobetrusted;andanylittleconstraintthatyoumightfeelwithanother,mayvanishbeforeme。Whyhaveyoukeptsoretiredfromme?Tellme。’

  ’Iambetterhere。Myplaceandusearehere。Iammuchbetterhere,’saidLittleDorrit,faintly。

  ’Soyousaidthatdayuponthebridge。Ithoughtofitmuchafterwards。Haveyounosecretyoucouldentrusttome,withhopeandcomfort,ifyouwould!’

  ’Secret?No,Ihavenosecret,’saidLittleDorritinsometrouble。

  Theyhadbeenspeakinginlowvoices;morebecauseitwasnaturaltowhattheysaidtoadoptthattone,thanwithanycaretoreserveitfromMaggyatherwork。AllofasuddenMaggystaredagain,andthistimespoke:

  ’Isay!LittleMother!’

  ’Yes,Maggy。’

  ’Ifyouan’tgotnosecretofyourowntotellhim,tellhimthataboutthePrincess。Shehadasecret,youknow。’

  ’ThePrincesshadasecret?’saidClennam,insomesurprise。’WhatPrincesswasthat,Maggy?’

  ’Lor!Howyoudogoandbotheragaloften,’saidMaggy,’catchingthepoorthingupinthatway。WhoeversaidthePrincesshadasecret?_I_neversaidso。’

  ’Ibegyourpardon。Ithoughtyoudid。’

  ’No,Ididn’t。HowcouldI,whenitwasheraswantedtofinditout?Itwasthelittlewomanashadthesecret,andshewasalwaysaspinningatherwheel。Andsoshesaystoher,whydoyoukeepitthere?Andsothet’otheronesaystoher,noIdon’t;andsothet’otheronesaystoher,yesyoudo;andthentheybothgoestothecupboard,andthereitis。Andshewouldn’tgointotheHospital,andsoshedied。Youknow,LittleMother;tellhimthat。

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