RENEETOLOUISE
Mylittlegirlistwomonthsold。SheiscalledJeanne-Athenais，andhasforgodmotherandgodfathermymother，andanoldgrand-uncleofLouis’。
AssoonasIpossiblycan，IshallstartformyvisittoChantepleurs，sinceyouarenotafraidofanursingmother。Yourgodsoncansayyournamenow；hecallsit/Matoumer/，forhecan’tsay/c/properly。Youwillbequitedelightedwithhim。Hehasgotallhisteeth，andeatsmeatnowlikeabigboy；heisallovertheplace，trottingaboutlikealittlemouse；butIwatchhimallthetimewithanxiouseyes，anditmakesmemiserablethatIcannotkeephimbymewhenIamlaidup。Thetimeismorethanusuallylongwithme，asthedoctorsconsidersomespecialprecautionsnecessary。Alas!mychild，habitdoesnotinureonetochild-bearing。Therearethesameolddiscomfortsandmisgivings。Howeverdon’tshowthistoFelipe，thislittlegirltakesafterme，andshemayyetcutoutyourArmand。
MyfatherthoughtFelipelookingverythin，andmydearpetalsonotquitesoblooming。YettheDucandDuchessedeSoriahavegone；notaloopholeforjealousyisleft!Isthereanytroublewhichyouarehidingfromme？Yourletterisneithersolongnorsofulloflovingthoughtsasusual。Isthisonlyawhimofmydearwhimsicalfriend？
Iamrunningontoolong。Mynurseisangrywithmeforwriting，andMlle。Athenaisdel’Estoradewantsherdinner。Farewell，then；writemesomenicelongletters。
MME。DEMACUMERTOTHECOMTESSEDEL’ESTORADE
Forthefirsttimeinmylife，mydearRenee，Ihavebeenaloneandcrying。Iwassittingunderawillow，onawoodenbenchbythesideofthelongChantepleursmarsh。Theviewthereischarming，butitneedssomemerrychildrentocompleteit，andIwaitforyou。Ihavebeenmarriednearlythreeyears，andnochild!Thethoughtofyourquiverfulldrovemetoexploremyheart。
AndthisiswhatIfindthere。“Oh!ifIhadtosufferahundred-foldwhatReneesufferedwhenmygodsonwasborn；ifIhadtoseemychildinconvulsions，evensowouldtoGodthatImighthaveacherubofmyown，likeyourAthenais!“Icanseeherfromhereinmymind’seye，andIknowsheisbeautifulastheday，foryoutellmenothingabouther——thatisjustlikemyRenee!Ibelieveyoudivinemytrouble。
Eachtimemyhopesaredisappointed，Ifallapreyforsomedaystotheblackestmelancholy。ThenIcomposesadelegies。WhenshallI
embroiderlittlecapsandsewlaceedgingstoencircleatinyhead？
Whenchoosethecambricforthebaby-clothes？ShallIneverhearbabylipsshout“Mamma，“andhavemydresspulledbyateasingdespotwhommyheartadores？Aretheretobenowheelmarksofalittlecarriageonthegravel，nobrokentoyslitteredaboutthecourtyard？ShallInevervisitthetoy-shops，asmothersdo，tobuyswords，anddolls，andbaby-houses？Andwillitneverbeminetowatchtheunfoldingofapreciouslife——anotherFelipe，onlymoredear？Iwouldhaveason，ifonlytolearnhowalovercanbemoretooneinhissecondself。
Myparkandcastlearecoldanddesolatetome。Achildlesswomanisamonstrosityofnature；weexistonlytobemothers。Oh!mysageinwoman’slivery，howwellyouhaveconnedthebookoflife!Everywhere，too，barrennessisadismalthing。MylifeisalittletoomuchlikeoneofGessner’sorFlorian’ssheepfolds，whichRivarollongedtoseeinvadedbyawolf。Itoohaveitinmetomakesacrifices!Thereareforcesinme，Ifeel，whichFelipehasnousefor；andifIamnottobeamother，Imustbeallowedtoindulgemyselfinsomeromanticsorrow。
IhavejustmadethisremarktomybelatedMoor，anditbroughttearstohiseyes。Hecannotstandanyjokingonhislove，soIlethimoffeasily，andonlycalledhimapaladinoffolly。
AttimesIamseizedwithadesiretogoonpilgrimage，tobearmylongingstotheshrineofsomemadonnaortoawatering-place。NextwinterIshalltakemedicaladvice。Iamtoomuchenragedwithmyselftowritemore。Good-bye。
Awholeyearpassed，mydear，withoutaletter!Whatdoesthismean？I
amalittlehurt。DoyousupposethatyourLouis，whocomestoseemealmosteveryalternateday，makesupforyou？Itisnotenoughtoknowthatyouarewellandthateverythingprosperswithyou；forIloveyou，Renee，andIwanttoknowwhatyouarefeelingandthinkingof，justasIsayeverythingtoyou，attheriskofbeingscolded，orcensured，ormisunderstood。Yoursilenceandseclusioninthecountry，atthetimewhenyoumightbeinParisenjoyingalltheParliamentaryhonorsoftheComtedel’Estorade，causemeseriousanxiety。Youknowthatyourhusband’s“giftofgab“andunsparingzealhavewonforhimquiteapositionhere，andhewilldoubtlessreceivesomeverygoodpostwhenthesessionisover。Pray，doyouspendyourlifewritinghimlettersofadvice？NumawasnotsofarremovedfromhisEgeria。
WhydidyounottakethisopportunityofseeingParis？Imighthaveenjoyedyourcompanyforfourmonths。Louistoldmeyesterdaythatyouwerecomingtofetchhim，andwouldhaveyourthirdconfinementinParis——youterriblemotherGigogne!AfterbombardingLouiswithqueries，exclamations，andregrets，Iatlastdefeatedhisstrategysofarastodiscoverthathisgrand-uncle，thegodfatherofAthenais，isveryill。NowIbelievethatyou，likeacarefulmother，wouldbequiteequaltoanglingwiththemember’sspeechesandfameforafatlegacyfromyourhusband’slastremainingrelativeonthemother’sside。Keepyourmindeasy，myRenee——weareallatworkforLouis，Lenoncourts，Chaulieus，andthewholebandofMme。deMacumer’sfollowers。Martignacwillprobablyputhimintotheauditdepartment。
Butifyouwon’ttellmewhyyouburyyourselfinthecountry，Ishallbecross。
Tellme，areyouafraidthatthepoliticalwisdomofthehouseofl’Estoradeshouldseemtocentreinyou？Orisittheuncle’slegacy？
PerhapsyouwereafraidyouwouldbelesstoyourchildreninParis？
Ah!whatIwouldgivetoknowwhether，afterall，youwerenotsimplytoovaintoshowyourselfinParisforthefirsttimeinyourpresentcondition!Vainthing!Farewell。
RENEETOLOUISE
Youcomplainofmysilence；haveyouforgotten，then，thosetwolittlebrownheads，atoncemysubjectsandmytyrants？Andastostayingathome，youhaveyourselfhituponseveralofmyreasons。Apartfromtheconditionofourdearuncle，Ididn’twanttodragwithmetoParisaboyoffourandalittlegirlwhowillsoonbethree，whenIamagainexpectingmyconfinement。Ihadnointentionoftroublingyouandupsettingyourhusbandwithsuchaparty。Ididnotcaretoappear，lookingmyworst，inthebrilliantcircleoverwhichyoupreside，andIdetestlifeinhotelsandlodgings。
WhenIcometospendthesessioninParis，itwillbeinmyownhouse。
Louis’uncle，whenheheardoftherankhisgrand-nephewhadreceived，mademeapresentoftwohundredthousandfrancsthehalfofhissavingswithwhichtobuyahouseinParis，andIhavechargedLouistofindoneinyourneighborhood。Mymotherhasgivenmethirtythousandfrancsforthefurnishing，andIshalldomybestnottodisgracethedearsisterofmyelection——nopunintended。
IamgratefultoyouforhavingalreadydonesomuchatCourtforLouis。ButthoughM。deBourmontandM。dePolignachavepaidhimthecomplimentofaskinghimtojointheirministry，Idonotwishsoconspicuousaplaceforhim。Itwouldcommithimtoomuch；andI
prefertheAuditOfficebecauseitispermanent。Ouraffairshereareinverygoodhands；soyouneednotfear；assoonasthestewardhasmasteredthedetails，IwillcomeandsupportLouis。
Asforwritinglonglettersnowadays，howcanI。Thisone，inwhichI
wanttodescribetoyouthedailyroutineofmylife，willbeaweekonthestocks。WhocantellbutArmandmaylayholdofittomakecapsforhisregimentsdrawnuponmycarpet，orvesselsforthefleetswhichsailhisbath!Asingledaywillserveasasampleoftherest，fortheyareallexactlyalike，andtheircharacteristicsreducethemselvestotwo——eitherthechildrenarewell，ortheyarenot。Forme，inthissolitarygrange，itisnoexaggerationtosaythathoursbecomeminutes，orminuteshours，accordingtothechildren’shealth。
IfIhavesomedelightfulhours，itiswhentheyareasleepandIamnolongerneededtorocktheoneorsoothetheotherwithstories。
WhenIhavethemsleepingbymyside，Isaytomyself，“Nothingcangowrongnow。“Thefactis，mysweet，everymotherspendshertime，sosoonasherchildrenareoutofhersight，inimaginingdangersforthem。PerhapsitisArmandseizingtherazorstoplaywith，orhiscoattakingfire，orasnakebitinghim，orhemighttumbleinrunningandstartanabscessonhishead，orhemightdrownhimselfinapond。
Amother’slife，yousee，isonelongsuccessionofdramas，nowsoftandtender，nowterrible。Notanhourbuthasitsjoysandfears。
Butatnight，inmyroom，comesthehourforwakingdreams，whenI
planouttheirfuture，whichshinesbrightlyinthesmileoftheguardianangel，watchingovertheirbeds。SometimesArmandcallsmeinhissleep；Ikisshisforeheadwithoutrousinghim，thenhissister’sfeet，andwatchthembothlyingintheirbeauty。Thesearemymerry-makings!Yesterday，itmusthavebeenourguardianangelwhorousedmeinthemiddleofthenightandsummonedmeinfeartoAthenais’cradle。Herheadwastoolow，andIfoundArmandalluncovered，hisfeetpurplewithcold。
“Darlingmother!“hecried，rousingupandflinginghisarmsroundme。
There，dear，isoneofournightscenesforyou。
Howimportantitisforamothertohaveherchildrenbyhersideatnight!Itisnotforanurse，howevercarefulshemaybe，totakethemup，comfortthem，andhushthemtosleepagain，whensomehorridnightmarehasdisturbedthem。Fortheyhavetheirdreams，andthetaskofexplainingawayoneofthosedreadvisionsofthenightisthemorearduousbecausethechildisscared，stupid，andonlyhalfawake。Itisamereinterludeintheunconsciousnessofslumber。InthiswayI
havecometosleepsolightly，thatIcanseemylittlepairandseethemstirring，throughtheveilofmyeyelids。Asighorarustlewakensme。Forme，thedemonofconvulsionsisevercrouchingbytheirbeds。
Somuchforthenights；withthefirsttwitterofthebirdsmybabiesbegintostir。Throughthemistsofdispersingsleep，theirchatterblendswiththewarblingsthatfillthemorningair，orwiththeswallows’noisydebates——littlecriesofjoyorwoe，whichmaketheirwaytomyheartratherthanmyears。WhileNaisstrugglestogetatme，makingthepassagefromhercradletomybedonallfoursorwithstaggeringsteps，Armandclimbsupwiththeagilityofamonkey，andhashisarmsroundme。Thenthemerrycoupleturnmybedintoaplayground，wheremotherliesattheirmercy。Thebaby-girlpullsmyhair，andwouldtaketosuckingagain，whileArmandstandsguardovermybreast，asthoughdefendinghisproperty。Theirfunnyways，theirpealsoflaughter，aretoomuchforme，andputsleepfairlytoflight。
Thenweplaytheogressgame；motherogresseatsupthewhite，softfleshwithhugs，andrainskissesonthoserosyshouldersandeyesbrimmingoverwithsaucymischief；wehavelittlejealoustiffstoo，soprettytosee。Ithashappenedtome，dear，totakeupmystockingsateighto’clockandbestillbare-footedatnine!
Thencomesthegettingup。Theoperationofdressingbegins。Isliponmydressing-gown，turnupmysleeves，anddonthemackintoshapron；
withMary’sassistance，Iwashandscrubmytwolittleblossoms。Iamsolearbiterofthetemperatureofthebath，foragoodhalfofchildren’scryingandwhimperingcomesfrommistakeshere。Themomenthasarrivedforpaperfleetsandglassducks，sincetheonlywaytogetchildrenthoroughlywashedistokeepthemwellamused。Ifyouknewthediversionsthathavetobeinventedbeforethesedespoticsovereignswillpermitasoftspongetobepassedovereverynookandcranny，youwouldbeawestruckattheamountofingenuityandintelligencedemandedbythematernalprofessionwhenonetakesitseriously。Prayers，scoldings，promises，arealikeinrequisition；
aboveall，thejugglerymustbesodexterousthatitdefiesdetection。
ThecasewouldbedesperatehadnotProvidencetothecunningofthechildmatchedthatofthemother。Achildisadiplomatist，onlytobemastered，likethediplomatistsofthegreatworld，throughhispassions!Happily，ittakeslittletomakethesecherubslaugh；thefallofabrush，apieceofsoapslippingfromthehand，andwhatmerryshouts!Andifourtriumphsaredearlybought，stilltriumphstheyare，thoughhiddenfrommortaleye。Eventhefatherknowsnothingofitall。NonebutGodandHisangels——andperhapsyou——canfathomtheglancesofsatisfactionwhichMaryandIexchangewhenthelittlecreatures’toiletisatlastconcluded，andtheystand，spotlessandshining，amidachaosofsoap，sponges，combs，basins，blotting-paper，flannel，andallthenamelesslitterofatrueEnglish“nursery。“
ForIamsofaraconvertastoadmitthatEnglishwomenhaveatalentforthisdepartment。True，theylookuponthechildonlyfromthepointofviewofmaterialwell-being；butwherethisisconcerned，theirarrangementsareadmirable。Mychildrenmustalwaysbebare-
leggedandwearwoollensocks。Thereshallbenoswaddlingnorbandages；ontheotherhand，theyshallneverbeleftalone。ThehelplessnessoftheFrenchinfantinitsswaddling-bandsmeansthelibertyofthenurse——thatisthewholeexplanation。Amother，whoisreallyamother，isneverfree。
ThereismyanswertoyourquestionwhyIdonotwrite。Besidesthemanagementoftheestate，Ihavetheupbringingoftwochildrenonmyhands。