Ifellbackonmyside，miserablydisappointedatmyfirstexperienceofmotherlyfeeling。
“Don’tworry，dear，“saidmymother，whohadinstalledherselfasnurse。“Why，you’vegotthefinestbabyintheworld。Youmustn’texciteyourself；butgiveyourwholemindnowtoturningyourselfasmuchaspossibleintoananimal，amilchcow，pasturinginthemeadow。“
Ifellasleepthen，fullyresolvedtoletnaturehaveherway。
Ah!mysweet，howheavenlyitwastowakenupfromallthepainandhazinessofthefirstdays，wheneverythingwasstilldim，uncomfortable，confused。Arayoflightpiercedthedarkness；myheartandsoul，myinnerself——aselfIhadneverknownbefore——renttheenvelopeofgloomysuffering，asaflowerburstsitssheathatthefirstwarmkissofthesun，atthemomentwhenthelittlewretchfastenedonmybreastandsucked。Noteventhesensationofthechild’sfirstcrywassoexquisiteasthis。Thisisthedawnofmotherhood，thisisthe/Fiatlux/!
Hereishappiness，joyineffable，thoughitcomesnotwithoutpangs。
Oh!mysweetjealoussoul，howyouwillrelishadelightwhichexistsonlyforourselves，thechild，andGod!Forthistinycreatureallknowledgeissummedupinitsmother’sbreast。Thisistheonebrightspotinitsworld，towardswhichitspunystrengthgoesforth。Itsthoughtsclusterroundthisspringoflife，whichitleavesonlytosleep，andwhitheritreturnsonwaking。Itslipshaveasweetnessbeyondwords，andtheirpressureisatonceapainandadelight，adelightwhichbyeveryexcessbecomespain，orapainwhichculminatesindelight。Thesensationwhichrisesfromit，andwhichpenetratestotheverycoreofmylife，bafflesalldescription。Itseemsasortofcentrewhenceamyriadjoy-bearingraysgladdentheheartandsoul。Tobearachildisnothing；tonourishitisbirthrenewedeveryhour。
Oh!Louise，thereisnocaressofloverwithhalfthepowerofthoselittlepinkhands，astheystrayabout，seekingwherebytolayholdonlife。Andtheinfantglances，nowturneduponthebreast，nowraisedtomeetourown!Whatdreamscometousaswewatchtheclingingnursling!Allourpowers，whetherofmindorbody，areatitsservice；
foritwebreatheandthink，initourlongingsaremorethansatisfied!Thesweetsensationofwarmthattheheart，whichthesoundofhisfirstcrybroughttome——likethefirstrayofsunshineontheearth——cameagainasIfeltthemilkflowintohismouth，againashiseyesmetmine，andatthismomentIhavefeltitoncemoreashisfirstsmilegavetokenofamindworkingwithin——forhehaslaughed，mydear!Alaugh，aglance，abite，acry——fourmiraclesofgladnesswhichgostraighttotheheartandstrikechordsthatrespondtonoothertouch。Achildistiedtoourheart-strings，asthespheresarelinkedtotheircreator；wecannotthinkofGodexceptasamother’sheartwritlarge。
Itisonlyintheactofnursingthatawomanrealizeshermotherhoodinvisibleandtangiblefashion；itisajoyofeverymoment。Themilkbecomesfleshbeforeoureyes；itblossomsintothetipsofthosedelicateflower-likefingers；itexpandsintender，transparentnails；
itspinsthesilkytresses；itkicksinthelittlefeet。Oh!thosebabyfeet，howplainlytheytalktous!Inthemthechildfindsitsfirstlanguage。
Yes，Louise，nursingisamiracleoftransformationgoingonbeforeone’sbewilderedeyes。Thosecries，theygotoyourheartandnotyourears；thosesmilingeyesandlips，thoseplungingfeet，theyspeakinwordswhichcouldnotbeplainerifGodtracedthembeforeyouinlettersoffire!Whatelseisthereintheworldtocareabout？Thefather？Why，youcouldkillhimifhedreamedofwakingthebaby!Justasthechildistheworldtous，sodowestandaloneintheworldforthechild。Thesweetconsciousnessofacommonlifeisamplerecompenseforallthetroubleandsuffering——forsufferingthereis。
Heavensaveyou，Louise，fromeverknowingthemaddeningagonyofawoundwhichgapesafreshwitheverypressureofrosylips，andissohardtoheal——theheaviesttaxperhapsimposedonbeauty。Forknow，Louise，andbeware!itvisitsonlyafairanddelicateskin。
Mylittleapehasinfivemonthsdevelopedintotheprettiestdarlingthatevermotherbathedintearsofjoy，washed，brushed，combed，andmadesmart；forGodknowswhatunweariedcarewelavishuponthosetenderblossoms!Somymonkeyhasceasedtoexist，andbeholdinhissteada/baby/，asmyEnglishnursesays，aregularpink-and-whitebaby。Hecriesverylittletoonow，forheisconsciousofthelovebestowedonhim；indeed，Ihardlyeverleavehim，andIstrivetowraphimroundintheatmosphereofmylove。
Dear，IhaveafeelingnowforLouiswhichisnotlove，butwhichoughttobethecrownofawoman’slovewhereitexists。Nay，Iamnotsurewhetherthistenderfondness，thisunselfishgratitude，isnotsuperiortolove。Fromallthatyouhavetoldmeofit，dearpet，I
gatherthatlovehassomethingterriblyearthlyaboutit，whilstastrainofholypietypurifiestheaffectionahappymotherfeelsfortheauthorofherfar-reachingandenduringjoys。Amother’shappinessislikeabeacon，lightingupthefuture，butreflectedalsoonthepastintheguiseoffondmemories。
Theoldl’Estoradeandhissonhavemoreoverredoubledtheirdevotiontome；Iamlikeanewpersontothem。Everytimetheyseemeandspeaktome，itiswithafreshholidayjoy，whichtouchesmedeeply。
Thegrandfatherhas，Iverilybelieve，turnedchildagain；helooksatmeadmiringly，andthefirsttimeIcamedowntolunchhewasmovedtotearstoseemeeatingandsucklingthechild。Themoistureinthesedryoldeyes，generallyexpressiveonlyofavarice，wasawonderfulcomforttome。Ifeltthatthegoodsoulenteredintomyjoy。
AsforLouis，hewouldshoutaloudtothetreesandstonesofthehighwaythathehasason；andhespendswholehourswatchingyoursleepinggodson。Hedoesnotknow，hesays，whenhewillgrowusedtoit。Theseextravagantexpressionsofdelightshowmehowgreatmusthavebeentheirfearsbeforehand。Louishasconfidedinmethathehadbelievedhimselfcondemnedtobechildless。Poorfellow!hehasallatoncedevelopedverymuch，andheworksevenharderthanhedid。Thefatherinhimhasquickenedhisambition。
Formyself，dearsoul，Igrowhappierandhappiereverymoment。Eachhourcreatesafreshtiebetweenthemotherandherinfant。Theverynatureofmyfeelingsprovestomethattheyarenormal，permanent，andindestructible；whereasIshrewdlysuspectlove，forinstance，ofbeingintermittent。Certainlyitisnotthesameatallmoments，theflowerswhichitweavesintotheweboflifearenotallofequalbrightness；love，inshort，canandmustdecline。Butamother’slovehasnoebb-tidetofear；ratheritgrowswiththegrowthofthechild’sneeds，andstrengthenswithitsstrength。Isitnotatonceapassion，anaturalcraving，afeeling，aduty，anecessity，ajoy？
Yes，darling，hereiswoman’struesphere。Herethepassionforself-
sacrificecanexpenditself，andnojealousyintrudes。
Here，too，isperhapsthesinglepointonwhichsocietyandnatureareatone。Society，inthismatter，enforcesthedictatesofnature，strengtheningthematernalinstinctbyaddingtoitfamilyspiritandthedesireofperpetuatinganame，arace，anestate。Howtenderlymustnotawomancherishthechildwhohasbeenthefirsttoopenuptoherthesejoys，thefirsttocallforththeenergiesofhernatureandtoinstructherinthegrandartofmotherhood!Therightoftheeldest，whichintheearliesttimesformedapartofthenaturalorderandwaslostintheoriginsofsociety，oughtnever，inmyopinion，tohavebeenquestioned。Ah!howmuchamotherlearnsfromherchild!Theconstantprotectionofahelplessbeingforcesustosostrictanalliancewithvirtue，thatawomannevershowstofulladvantageexceptasamother。Thenalonecanhercharacterexpandinthefulfilmentofalllife’sdutiesandtheenjoymentofallitspleasures。Awomanwhoisnotamotherismaimedandincomplete。
Hasten，then，mysweetest，tofulfilyourmission。Yourpresenthappinesswillthenbemultipliedbythewealthofmydelights。
23rd。
Ihadtotearmyselffromyoubecauseyourgodsonwascrying。Icanhearhiscryfromthebottomofthegarden。ButIwouldnotletthisgowithoutawordoffarewell。IhavejustbeenreadingoverwhatI
havesaid，andamhorrifiedtoseehowvulgararethefeelingsexpressed!WhatIfeel，everymother，alas!sincethebeginningmusthavefelt，Isuppose，inthesameway，andputintothesamewords。
Youwilllaughatme，aswedoatthenaivefatherwhodilatesonthebeautyandclevernessofhisofcoursequiteexceptionaloffspring。
Buttherefrainofmyletter，darling，isthis，andIrepeatit：IamashappynowasIusedtobemiserable。Thisgrange——andisitnotgoingtobeanestate，afamilyproperty？——hasbecomemylandofpromise。Thedesertispastandover。Athousandloves，darlingpet。
Writetome，fornowIcanreadwithoutatearthetaleofyourhappylove。Farewell。
Doyouknow，dear，thatitismorethanthreemonthssinceIhavewrittentoyouorheardfromyou？Iamthemoreguiltyofthetwo，forIdidnotreplytoyourlast，butyoudon’tstandonpunctiliosurely？
MacumerandIhavetakenyoursilenceforconsentasregardsthebaby-
wreathedluncheonservice，andthelittlecherubsarestartingthismorningforMarseilles。Ittooksixmonthstocarryoutthedesign。
AndsowhenFelipeaskedmetocomeandseetheservicebeforeitwaspacked，Isuddenlywakeduptothefactthatwehadnotinterchangedawordsincetheletterofyourswhichgavemeaninsightintoamother’sheart。
Mysweet，itisthisterribleParis——there’smyexcuse。What，pray，isyours？Oh!whatawhirlpoolissociety!Didn’tItellyouoncethatinParisonemustbeastheParisians？Societytheredrivesoutallsentiment；itlaysenembargoonyourtime；andunlessyouareverycareful，sooneatsawayyourheartaltogether。WhatanamazingmasterpieceisthecharacterofCelimeneinMoliere’s/LeMisanthrope/!Sheisthesocietywoman，notonlyofLouisXIV。’stime，butofourown，andofall，time。
WhereshouldIbebutformybreastplate——theloveIbearFelipe？ThisverymorningItoldhim，astheoutcomeofthesereflections，thathewasmysalvation。Ifmyeveningsareacontinuousroundofparties，balls，concerts，andtheatres，atnightmyheartexpandsagain，andishealedofthewoundsreceivedintheworldbythedelightsofthepassionatelovewhichawaitmyreturn。
Idineathomeonlywhenwehavefriends，so-called，withus，andspendtheafternoonthereonlyonmyday，forIhaveadaynow——
Wednesday——forreceiving。IhaveenteredthelistswithMmes。d’EspardanddeMaufrigneuse，andwiththeoldDuchessedeLenoncourt，andmyhousehasthereputationofbeingaverylivelyone。Iallowedmyselftobecomethefashion，becauseIsawhowmuchpleasuremysuccessgaveFelipe。Mymorningsarehis；fromfourintheafternoontilltwointhemorningIbelongtoParis。Macumermakesanadmirablehost，wittyanddignified，perfectincourtesy，andwithanairofrealdistinction。Nowomancouldhelplovingsuchahusbandevenifshehadchosenhimwithoutconsultingherheart。
MyfatherandmotherhaveleftforMadrid。LouisXVIII。beingoutoftheway，theDuchesshadnodifficultyinobtainingfromourgood-
naturedCharlesX。theappointmentofherfascinatingpoet；soheiscarriedoffinthecapacityofattache。
Mybrother，theDucdeRhetore，deignstorecognizemeasapersonofmark。Asformyyoungerbrother，TheComtedeChaulieu，thisbuckramwarriorowesmeeverlastinggratitude。Beforemyfatherleft，hespentmyfortuneinacquiringfortheCountanestateoffortythousandfrancsayear，entailedonthetitle，andhismarriagewithMlle。deMortsauf，anheiressfromTouraine，isdefinitelyarranged。TheKing，inordertopreservethenameandtitlesofthedeLenoncourtanddeGivryfamiliesfromextinction，istoconferthese，togetherwiththearmorialbearings，bypatentonmybrother。Certainlyitwouldneverhavedonetoallowthesetwofinenamesandtheirsplendidmotto，/Faciemsempermonstramus/，toperish。Mlle。deMortsauf，whoisgranddaughterandsoleheiressoftheDucdeLenoncourt-Givry，will，itissaid，inheritaltogethermorethanonehundredthousandlivresayear。TheonlystipulationmyfatherhasmadeisthatthedeChaulieuarmsshouldappearinthecentreofthedeLenoncourtescutcheon。ThusmybrotherwillbeDucdeLenoncourt。TheyoungdeMortsauf，towhomeverythingwouldotherwisego，isinthelaststageofconsumption；
hisdeathislookedforeveryday。Themarriagewilltakeplacenextwinterwhenthefamilyareoutofmourning。IamtoldthatIshallhaveacharmingsister-in-lawinMlle。deMortsauf。
Soyouseethatmyfather’sreasoningisjustified。Theoutcomeofitallhaswonmemanycompliments，andmymarriageisexplainedtoeverybody’ssatisfaction。Tocompleteoursuccess，thePrincedeTalleyrand，outofaffectionformygrandmother，isshowinghimselfawarmfriendtoMacumer。Society，whichbeganbycriticisingme，hasnowpassedtocordialadmiration。
Inshort，Inowreignaqueenwhere，barelytwoyearsago，Iwasaninsignificantitem。Macumerfindshimselftheobjectofuniversalenvy，asthehusbandof“themostcharmingwomaninParis。“Atleastascoreofwomen，asyouknow，arealwaysinthatproudposition。Menmurmursweetthingsinmyear，orcontentthemselveswithgreedyglances。Thischorusoflongingandadmirationissosoothingtoone’svanity，thatIconfessIbegintounderstandtheunconscionablepricewomenarereadytopayforsuchfrailandprecariousprivileges。A