WhenGodbeholdsourfaults，Heseesalsoourrepentance。Yes，mybelovedmistress，youareright。IfeltthatIhaddispleasedyou，butknewnothow。Nowthatyouhaveexplainedthecauseofyourtrouble，I
findinitfreshmotivetoadoreyou。LiketheGodofIsrael，youareajealousdeity，andIrejoicetoseeit。Forwhatisholierandmorepreciousthanjealousy？Myfairguardianangel，jealousyisanever-
wakefulsentinel；itistolovewhatpainistothebody，thefaithfulheraldofevil。Bejealousofyourservant，Louise，Ibegofyou；theharderyoustrike，themorecontritewillhebeandkisstherod，inallsubmission，whichprovesthatheisnotindifferenttoyou。
But，alas!dear，ifthepainsitcostmetovanquishmytimidityandmasterfeelingsyouthoughtsofeeblewereinvisibletoyou，willHeaven，thinkyou，rewardthem？Iassureyou，itneedednoslightefforttoshowmyselftoyouasIwasinthedaysbeforeIloved。AtMadridIwasconsideredagoodtalker，andIwantedyoutoseeforyourselfthefewgiftsImaypossess。Ifthiswerevanity，ithasbeenwellpunished。
Yourlastglanceutterlyunnervedme。NeverhadIsoquailed，evenwhenthearmyofFrancewasatthegatesofCadizandIreadperilformylifeinthedissemblingwordsofmyroyalmaster。VainlyItriedtodiscoverthecauseofyourdispleasure，andthelackofsympathybetweenuswhichthisfactdisclosedwasterribletome。ForintruthIhavenowishbuttoactbyyourwill，thinkyourthoughts，seewithyoureyes，respondtoyourjoyandsuffering，asmybodyrespondstoheatandcold。Thecrimeandtheanguishlayformeinthebreachofunisoninthatcommonlifeoffeelingwhichyouhavemadesofair。
“Ihavevexedher!“Iexclaimedoverandoveragain，likeonedistraught。Mynoble，mybeautifulLouise，ifanythingcouldincreasethefervorofmydevotionorconfirmmybeliefinyourdelicatemoralintuitions，itwouldbethenewlightwhichyourwordshavethrownuponmyownfeelings。Muchinthem，ofwhichmymindwasformerlybutdimlyconscious，youhavenowmadeclear。Ifthisbedesignedaschastisement，whatcanbethesweetnessofyourrewards？
Louise，formeitwashappinessenoughtobeacceptedasyourservant。
YouhavegivenmethelifeofwhichIdespaired。NolongerdoIdrawauselessbreath，Ihavesomethingtospendmyselffor；myforcehasanoutlet，ifonlyinsufferingforyou。OncemoreIsay，asIhavesaidbefore，thatyouwillneverfindmeotherthanIwaswhenfirstI
offeredmyselfasyourlowlybondman。Yes，wereyoudishonoredandlost，touseyourownwords，myheartwouldonlyclingthemorecloselytoyouforyourself-soughtmisery。Itwouldbemycaretostaunchyourwounds，andmyprayersshouldimportuneGodwiththestoryofyourinnocenceandyourwrongs。
DidInottellyouthatthefeelingsofmyheartforyouarenotalover’sonly，thatIwillbetoyoufather，mother，sister，brother——
ay，awholefamily——anythingornothing，asyoumaydecree？Andisitnotyourownwishwhichhasconfinedwithinthecompassofalover’sfeelingsomanyvaryingformsofdevotion？Pardonme，then，ifattimesthefatherandbrotherdisappearbehindthelover，sinceyouknowtheyarenonethelessthere，thoughscreenedfromview。Wouldthatyoucouldreadthefeelingsofmyheartwhenyouappearbeforeme，radiantinyourbeauty，thecentreofadmiringeyes，recliningcalmlyinyourcarriageintheChamps-Elysees，orseatedinyourboxattheOpera!ThenwouldyouknowhowabsolutelyfreefromselfishtaintisthepridewithwhichIhearthepraisesofyourlovelinessandgrace，praiseswhichwarmmyhearteventothestrangerswhoutterthem!Whenbychanceyouhaveraisedmetoelysiumbyafriendlygreeting，myprideismingledwithhumility，andIdepartasthoughGod’sblessingrestedonme。Nordoesthejoyvanishwithoutleavingalongtrackoflightbehind。Itbreaksonmethroughthecloudsofmycigarettesmoke。MorethaneverdoIfeelhoweverydropofthissurgingbloodthrobsforyou。
Canyoubeignoranthowyouareloved？Afterseeingyou，Ireturntomystudy，andtheglitterofitsSaracenicornamentssinkstonothingbeforethebrightnessofyourportrait，whenIopenthespringthatkeepsitlockedupfromeveryeyeandlosemyselfinendlessmusingsorlinkmyhappinesstoverse。FromtheheightsofheavenIlookdownuponthecourseofalifesuchasmyhopesdaretopictureit!Haveyounever，inthesilenceofthenight，orthroughtheroarofthetown，heardthewhisperofavoiceinyoursweet，daintyear？DoesnooneofthethousandprayersthatIspeedtoyoureachhome？
Bydintofsilentcontemplationofyourpicturedface，Ihavesucceededindecipheringtheexpressionofeveryfeatureandtracingitsconnectionwithsomegraceofthespirit，andthenIpenasonnettoyouinSpanishontheharmonyofthetwofoldbeautyinwhichnaturehasclothedyou。Thesesonnetsyouwillneversee，formypoetryistoounworthyofitstheme，Idarenotsendittoyou。Notamomentpasseswithoutthoughtsofyou，formywholebeingisboundupinyou，andifyouceasedtobeitsanimatingprinciple，everypartwouldache。
Now，Louise，canyourealizethetorturetomeofknowingthatIhaddispleasedyou，whileentirelyignorantofthecause？Theidealdoublelifewhichseemedsofairwascutshort。Myheartturnedtoicewithinmeas，hopelessofanyotherexplanation，Iconcludedthatyouhadceasedtoloveme。Withheavyheart，andyetnotwhollywithoutcomfort，Iwasfallingbackuponmyoldpostasservant；thenyourlettercameandturnedalltojoy。Oh!mightIbutlistenforevertosuchchiding!
Onceachild，pickinghimselfupfromatumble，turnedtohismotherwiththewords“Forgiveme。“Hidinghisownhurt，hesoughtpardonforthepainhehadcausedher。Louise，Iwasthatchild，andsuchasI
wasthen，Iamnow。Hereisthekeytomycharacter，whichyourslaveinallhumilityplacesinyourhands。
Butdonotfear，therewillbenomorestumbling。Keeptightthechainwhichbindsmetoyou，sothatatouchmaycommunicateyourlightestwishtohimwhowilleverremainyourslave，FELIPE。
Mydearfriend，——Howisitpossiblethatyou，whobroughtyourselfintwomonthstomarryabroken-downinvalidinordertomotherhim，shouldknowanythingofthatterribleshiftingdrama，enactedintherecessesoftheheart，whichwecalllove——adramawheredeathliesinaglanceoralightreply？
IhadreservedforFelipeonelastsupremetestwhichwastobedecisive。IwantedtoknowwhetherhislovewastheloveofaRoyalistforhisKing，whocandonowrong。WhyshouldtheloyaltyofaCatholicbelesssupreme？
Hewalkedwithmeawholenightunderthelimesatthebottomofthegarden，andnotashadowofsuspicioncrossedhissoul。Nextdayhelovedmebetter，butthefeelingwasasreverent，ashumble，asregretfulasever；hehadnotpresumedaniota。Oh!heisaverySpaniard，averyAbencerrage。HescaledmywalltocomeandkissthehandwhichinthedarknessIreacheddowntohimfrommybalcony。Hemighthavebrokenhisneck；howmanyofouryoungmenwoulddothelike？
Butallthisisnothing；Christianssufferthehorriblepangsofmartyrdominthehopeofheaven。ThedaybeforeyesterdayItookasidetheroyalambassador-to-beatthecourtofSpain，mymuchrespectedfather，andsaidtohimwithasmile：
“Sir，someofyourfriendswillhaveitthatyouaremarryingyourdearArmandetothenephewofanambassadorwhohasbeenveryanxiousforthisconnection，andhaslongbeggedforit。Also，thatthemarriage-contractarrangesforhisnephewtosucceedonhisdeathtohisenormousfortuneandhistitle，andbestowsontheyoungcoupleinthemeantimeanincomeofahundredthousandlivres，onthebrideadowryofeighthundredthousandfrancs。Yourdaughterweeps，butbowstotheunquestionedauthorityofherhonoredparent。Somepeopleareunkindenoughtosaythat，behindhertears，sheconcealsaworldlyandambitioussoul。
“Now，wearegoingtothegentleman’sboxattheOperato-night，andM。leBarondeMacumerwillvisitusthere。“
“Macumerneedsatouchofthespurthen，“saidmyfather，smilingatme，asthoughIwereafemaleambassador。
“YoumistakeClarissaHarloweforFigaro!“Icried，withaglanceofscornandmockery。“Whenyouseemewithmyrighthandungloved，youwillgivethelietothisimpertinentgossip，andwillmarkyourdispleasureatit。“
“Imaymakemymindeasyaboutyourfuture。Youhavenomoregotagirl’sheadpiecethanJeanned’Archadawoman’sheart。Youwillbehappy，youwilllovenobody，andwillallowyourselftobeloved。“
Thiswastoomuch。Iburstintolaughter。
“Whatisit，littleflirt？“hesaid。
“Itrembleformycountry’sinterests……“
Andseeinghimlookquiteblank，Iadded：
“AtMadrid!“
“Youhavenoideahowthislittlenunhaslearned，inayear’stime，tomakefunofherfather，“hesaidtotheDuchess。
“Armandemakeslightofeverything，“mymotherreplied，lookingmeintheface。
“Whatdoyoumean？“Iasked。
“Why，youarenotevenafraidofrheumatismonthesedampnights，“shesaid，withanothermeaningglanceatme。
“Oh!“Ianswered，“themorningsaresohot!“
TheDuchesslookeddown。
“It’shightimesheweremarried，“saidmyfather，“andithadbetterbebeforeIgo。“
“Ifyouwishit，“Ireplieddemurely。
Twohourslater，mymotherandI，theDuchessedeMaufrigneuseandMme。d’Espard，wereallfourbloominglikerosesinthefrontofthebox。Ihadseatedmyselfsideways，givingonlyashouldertothehouse，sothatIcouldseeeverything，myselfunseen，inthatspaciousboxwhichfillsoneofthetwoanglesatthebackofthehall，betweenthecolumns。
Macumercame，stoodup，andputhisopera-glassesbeforehiseyessothathemightbeabletolookatmecomfortably。
InthefirstintervalenteredtheyoungmanwhomIcall“kingoftheprofligates。“TheComteHenrideMarsay，whohasgreatbeautyofaneffeminatekind，enteredtheboxwithanepigraminhiseyes，asmileuponhislips，andanairofsatisfactionoverhiswholecountenance。
Hefirstgreetedmymother，Mme。d’Espard，andtheDuchessedeMaufrigneuse，theComted’Esgrignon，andM。deCanalis；thenturningtome，hesaid：
“IdonotknowwhetherIshallbethefirsttocongratulateyouonaneventwhichwillmakeyoutheobjectofenvytomany。“
“Ah!amarriage!“Icried。“Isitleftforme，agirlfreshfromtheconvent，totellyouthatpredictedmarriagesnevercomeoff。“
M。deMarsaybentdown，whisperingtoMacumer，andIwasconvinced，fromthemovementofhislips，thatwhathesaidwasthis：
“Baron，youareperhapsinlovewiththatlittlecoquette，whohasusedyouforherownends；butasthequestionisonenotoflove，butofmarriage，itisaswellforyoutoknowwhatisgoingon。“
Macumertreatedthisofficiousscandal-mongertooneofthoseglancesofhiswhichseemtomesoeloquentofnoblescorn，andrepliedtotheeffectthathewas“notinlovewithanylittlecoquette。“Hiswholebearingsodelightedme，thatdirectlyIcaughtsightofmyfather，theglovewasoff。
Felipehadnotashadowoffearordoubt。Howwelldidhebearoutmyexpectations!Hisfaithisonlyinme，societycannothurthimwithitslies。NotamuscleoftheArab’sfacestirred，notadropofthebluebloodflushedhisolivecheek。
Thetwoyoungcountswentout，andIsaid，laughing，toMacumer：
“M。deMarsayhasbeentreatingyoutoanepigramonme。“
“Hedidmore，“hereplied。“Itwasanepithalamium。“
“YouspeakGreektome，“Isaid，rewardinghimwithasmileandacertainlookwhichalwaysembarrasseshim。
MyfathermeantimewastalkingtoMme。deMaufrigneuse。
“Ishouldthinkso!“heexclaimed。“Thegossipwhichgetsaboutisscandalous。Nosoonerhasagirlcomeoutthaneveryoneiskeentomarryher，andtheridiculousstoriesthatareinvented!IshallneverforceArmandetomarryagainstherwill。Iamgoingtotakeaturninthepromenade，otherwisepeoplewillbesayingthatIallowedtherumortospreadinordertosuggestthemarriagetotheambassador；
andCaesar’sdaughteroughttobeabovesuspicion，evenmorethanhiswife——ifthatwerepossible。“
TheDuchessedeMaufrigneuseandMme。d’Espardshotglancesfirstatmymother，thenattheBaron，brimmingoverwithslyintelligenceandrepressedcuriosity。Withtheirserpent’scunningtheyhadatlastgotaninklingofsomethinggoingon。Ofallmysteriesinlife，loveistheleastmysterious!Itexhalesfromwomen，Ibelieve，likeaperfume，andshewhocanconcealitisaverymonster!Oureyesprattleevenmorethanourtongues。
HavingenjoyedthedelightfulsensationoffindingFeliperisetotheoccasion，asIhadwished，itwasonlyinnatureIshouldhungerformore。SoImadethesignalagreedonfortellinghimthathemightcometomywindowbythedangerousroadyouknowof。AfewhourslaterIfoundhim，uprightasastatue，gluedtothewall，hishandrestingonthebalconyofmywindow，studyingthereflectionsofthelightinmyroom。