“Ifyouwalkalongtheboulevard，Ishallhearyourstep；andwhenI
wanttoseeyou，Iwillopenmywindow。ButIwouldnotrunsuchariskunlesssomeemergencyarose。Whyhaveyouforcedmebyyourrashacttocommitanother，andonewhichmaylowermeinyoureyes？“
ThetearswhichIsawinhiseyesweretomethemosteloquentofanswers。
“WhatIhavedoneto-night，“Iwentonwithasmile，“mustseemtoyoutheheightofmadness……“
Afterwehadwalkedupanddowninsilencemorethanonce，herecoveredcomposureenoughtosay：
“Youmustthinkmeafool；and，indeed，thedeliriumofmyjoyhasrobbedmeofbothnerveandwits。Butofthisatleastbeassured，whateveryoudoissacredinmyeyesfromtheveryfactthatitseemedrighttoyou。IhonoryouasIhonoronlyGodbesides。Andthen，MissGriffithishere。“
“Sheishereforthesakeoftheothers，notforus，“Iputinhastily。
Mydear，heunderstoodmeatonce。
“Iknowverywell，“hesaid，withthehumblestglanceatme，“thatwhethersheisthereornotmakesnodifference。Unseenofmen，wearestillinthepresenceofGod，andourownesteemisnotlessimportanttousthanthatoftheworld。“
“Thankyou，Felipe，“Isaid，holdingoutmyhandtohimwithagesturewhichyououghttosee。“Awoman，andIamnothing，ifnotawoman，isontheroadtolovingthemanwhounderstandsher。Oh!onlyontheroad，“Iwenton，withafingeronmylips。“Don’tletyourhopescarryyoubeyondwhatIsay。Myheartwillbelongonlytothemanwhocanreaditandknowitseveryturn。Ourviews，withoutbeingabsolutelyidentical，mustbethesameintheirbreadthandelevation。
Ihavenowishtoexaggeratemyownmerits；doubtlesswhatseemvirtuesinmyeyeshavetheircorrespondingdefects。AllIcansayis，Ishouldbeheartbrokenwithoutthem。“
“Havingfirstacceptedmeasyourservant，younowpermitmetoloveyou，“hesaid，tremblingandlookinginmyfaceateachword。“Myfirstprayerhasbeenmorethananswered。“
“But，“Ihastenedtoreply，“yourpositionseemstomeabetteronethanmine。Ishouldnotobjecttochangeplaces，andthischangeitlieswithyoutobringabout。“
“Inmyturn，Ithankyou，“hereplied。“Iknowthedutiesofafaithfullover。ItisminetoprovethatIamworthyofyou；thetrialsshallbeaslongasyouchoosetomakethem。IfIbelieyourhopes，youhaveonly——God!thatIshouldsayit——torejectme。“
“Iknowthatyouloveme，“Ireplied。“/Sofar/，“withacruelemphasisonthewords，“youstandfirstinmyregard。Otherwiseyouwouldnotbehere。“
Thenwebegantowalkupanddownaswetalked，andImustsaythatsosoonasmySpaniardhadrecoveredhimselfheputforththegenuineeloquenceoftheheart。Itwasnotpassionitbreathed，butamarveloustendernessoffeelingwhichhebeautifullycomparedtothedivinelove。Histhrillingvoice，whichlentanaddedcharmtothoughts，inthemselvessoexquisite，remindedmeofthenightingale’snote。Hespokelow，usingonlythemiddletonesofafineinstrument，andwordsfloweduponwordswiththerushofatorrent。Itwastheoverflowoftheheart。
“Nomore，“Isaid，“orIshallnotbeabletotearmyselfaway。“
AndwithagestureIdismissedhim。
“Youhavecommittedyourselfnow，mademoiselle，“saidGriffith。
“InEnglandthatmightbeso，butnotinFrance，“Irepliedwithnonchalance。“Iintendtomakealovematch，andamfeelingmyway——
thatisall。“
Yousee，dear，aslovedidnotcometome，IhadtodoasMahometdidwiththemountain。
Friday。
OncemoreIhaveseenmyslave。Hehasbecomeverytimid，andputsonanairofpiousdevotion，whichIlike，foritseemstosaythathefeelsmypowerandfascinationineveryfibre。ButnothinginhislookormannercanrouseinthesesocietysibylsanysuspicionoftheboundlesslovewhichIsee。Don’tsupposethough，dear，thatIamcarriedaway，mastered，tamed；onthecontrary，thetaming，mastering，andcarryingawayareonmyside……
Inshort，Iamquitecapableofreason。Oh!tofeelagaintheterrorofthatfascinationinwhichIwasheldbytheschoolmaster，theplebeian，themanIkeptatadistance!
Thefactisthatloveisoftwokinds——onewhichcommands，andonewhichobeys。Thetwoarequitedistinct，andthepassiontowhichtheonegivesriseisnotthepassionoftheother。Togetherfulloflife，perhapsawomanoughttohaveexperienceofboth。Canthetwopassionseverco-exist？Canthemaninwhomweinspireloveinspireitinus？WillthedayevercomewhenFelipeismymaster？ShallI
tremblethen，ashedoesnow？Thesearequestionswhichmakemeshudder。
Heisveryblind!InhisplaceIshouldhavethoughtMlle。deChaulieu，meetingmeunderthelimes，acold，calculatingcoquette，withstarchedmanners。No，thatisnotlove，itisplayingwithfire。
IamstillfondofFelipe，butIamcalmandatmyeasewithhimnow。
Nomoreobstacles!Whataterriblethought!Itisallebb-tidewithin，andIfeartoquestionmyheart。Hismistakewasinconcealingtheardorofhislove；heoughttohaveforcedmyself-control。
Inaword，Iwasnaughty，andIhavenotgottherewardsuchnaughtinessbrings。No，dear，howeversweetthememoryofthathalf-
hourbeneaththetrees，itisnothingliketheexcitementoftheoldtimewithits：“ShallIgo？ShallInotgo？ShallIwritetohim？
ShallInotwrite？“
Isitthuswithallourpleasures？Issuspensealwaysbetterthanenjoyment？Hopethanfruition？Isittherichwhoinverytrutharethepoor？Havewenotbothperhapsexaggeratedfeelingbygivingtoimaginationtoofreearein？Therearetimeswhenthisthoughtfreezesme。ShallItellyouwhy？BecauseIammeditatinganothervisittothebottomofthegarden——withoutGriffith。HowfarcouldIgointhisdirection？Imaginationknowsnolimit，butitisnotsowithpleasure。
Tellme，dearbe-furbelowedprofessor，howcanonereconcilethetwogoalsofawoman’sexistence？
Iamnotpleasedwithyou。IfyoudidnotcryoverRacine’s/Berenice/，andfeelittobethemostterribleoftragedies，thereisnokinshipinoursouls；weshallnevergetontogether，andhadbetterbreakoffatonce。Letusmeetnomore。Forgetme；forifIdonothaveasatisfactoryreply，Ishallforgetyou。YouwillbecomeM。
leBarondeMacumerforme，orratheryouwillceasetobeatall。
YesterdayatMme。d’Espard’syouhadaself-satisfiedairwhichdisgustedme。Nodoubt，apparently，aboutyourconquest!Insoberearnest，yourself-possessionalarmsme。Notatraceinyouofthehumbleslaveofyourfirstletter。Farfrombetrayingtheabsent-
mindednessofalover，youpolishedepigrams!Thisisnottheattitudeofatruebeliever，alwaysprostratebeforehisdivinity。
Ifyoudonotfeelmetobetheverybreathofyourlife，abeingnoblerthanotherwomen，andtobejudgedbyotherstandards，thenI
mustbelessthanawomaninyoursight。Youhaverousedinmeaspiritofmistrust，Felipe，anditsangrymutteringshavedrownedtheaccentsoftenderness。WhenIlookbackuponwhathaspassedbetweenus，IfeelintruththatIhavearighttobesuspicious。Forknow，PrimeMinisterofalltheSpains，thatIhavereflectedmuchonthedefencelessconditionofoursex。Myinnocencehasheldatorch，andmyfingersarenotburnt。Letmerepeattoyou，then，whatmyyouthfulexperiencetaughtme。
Inallothermatters，duplicity，faithlessness，andbrokenpledgesarebroughttobookandpunished；butnotsowithlove，whichisatoncethevictim，theaccuser，thecounsel，judge，andexecutioner。Thecruelesttreachery，themostheartlesscrimes，arethosewhichremainforeverconcealed，withtwoheartsaloneforwitness。Howindeedshouldthevictimproclaimthemwithoutinjurytoherself？Love，therefore，hasitsowncode，itsownpenalsystem，withwhichtheworldhasnoconcern。
Now，formypart，Ihaveresolvednevertopardonaseriousmisdemeanor，andinlove，pray，whatisnotserious？Yesterdayyouhadalltheairofamansuccessfulinhissuit。Youwouldbewrongtodoubtit；andyet，ifthisassurancerobbedyouofthecharmingsimplicitywhichsprangfromuncertainty，Ishouldblameyouseverely。
Iwouldhaveyouneitherbashfulnorself-complacent；Iwouldnothaveyouinterroroflosingmyaffection——thatwouldbeaninsult——butneitherwouldIhaveyouwearyourlovelightlyasathingofcourse。
Nevershouldyourheartbefreerthanmine。Ifyouknownothingofthetorturethatasinglestabofdoubtbringstothesoul，tremblelestI
giveyoualesson!
InasingleglanceIconfidedmyhearttoyou，andyoureadthemeaning。Thepurestfeelingsthatevertookrootinayounggirl’sbreastareyours。ThethoughtandmeditationofwhichIhavetoldyouservedonlytoenrichthemind；butifeverthewoundedheartturnstothebrainforcounsel，besuretheyounggirlwouldshowsomekinshipwiththedemonofknowledgeandofdaring。
Isweartoyou，Felipe，ifyouloveme，asIbelieveyoudoandifI
havereasontosuspecttheleastfallingoffinthefear，obedience，andrespectwhichyouhavehithertoprofessed，ifthepureflameofpassionwhichfirstkindledthefireofmyheartshouldseemtomeanydaytoburnlessvividly，youneedfearnoreproaches。Iwouldnotwearyyouwithlettersbearinganytraceofweakness，pride，oranger，norevenwithoneofwarninglikethis。ButifIspokenowords，Felipe，myfacewouldtellyouthatdeathwasnear。AndyetIshouldnotdietillIhadbrandedyouwithinfamy，andsowneternalsorrowinyourheart；youwouldseethegirlyouloveddishonoredandlostinthisworld，andknowherdoomedtoeverlastingsufferinginthenext。
Donottherefore，Iimploreyou，givemecausetoenvytheold，happyLouise，theobjectofyourpureworship，whoseheartexpandedinthesunshineofhappiness，since，inthewordsofDante，shepossessed，Senzabrama，sicuraricchezza!
Ihavesearchedthe/Inferno/throughtofindthemostterriblepunishment，sometortureofthemindtowhichImightlinkthevengeanceofGod。
Yesterday，asIwatchedyou，doubtwentthroughmelikeasharp，colddagger’spoint。Doyouknowwhatthatmeans？Imistrustedyou，andthepangwassoterrible，Icouldnotendureitlonger。Ifmyservicebetoohard，leaveit，Iwouldnotkeepyou。DoIneedanyproofofyourcleverness？Keepformetheflowersofyourwit。Showtoothersnofinesurfacetocallforthflattery，compliments，orpraise。Cometome，ladenwithhatredorscorn，thebuttofcalumny，cometomewiththenewsthatwomenfloutyouandignoreyou，andnotonelovesyou；
then，ah!thenyouwillknowthetreasuresofLouise’sheartandlove。
Weareonlyrichwhenourwealthisburiedsodeepthatalltheworldmighttrampleitunderfoot，unknowing。Ifyouwerehandsome，Idon’tsupposeIshouldhavelookedatyoutwice，ordiscoveredoneofthethousandreasonsoutofwhichmylovesprang。True，weknownomoreofthesereasonsthanweknowwhyitisthesunmakestheflowerstobloom，andripensthefruit。YetIcouldtellyouofonereasonverydeartome。
Thecharacter，expression，andindividualitythatennobleyourfaceareasealedbooktoallbutme。Mineisthepowerwhichtransformsyouintothemostlovableofmen，andthatiswhyIwouldkeepyourmentalgiftsalsoformyself。Tootherstheyshouldbeasmeaninglessasyoureyes，thecharmofyourmouthandfeatures。Letitbeminealonetokindlethebeaconofyourintelligence，asIbringthelovelightintoyoureyes。IwouldhaveyoutheSpanishgrandeeofolddays，cold，ungracious，haughty，amonumenttobegazedatfromafar，liketheruinsofsomebarbaricpower，whichnooneventurestoexplore。Now，youhavenothingbettertodothantoopenuppleasantpromenadesforthepublic，andshowyourselfofaParisianaffability!
Ismyidealportrait，then，forgotten？Yourexcessivecheerfulnesswasredolentofyourlove。Haditnotbeenforarestrainingglancefromme，youwouldhaveproclaimedtothemostsharp-sighted，keen-witted，andunsparingofParissalons，thatyourinspirationwasdrawnfromArmande-Louise-MariedeChaulieu。
Ibelieveinyourgreatnesstoomuchtothinkforamomentthatyourloveisruledbypolicy；butifyoudidnotshowachildlikesimplicitywhenwithme，Icouldonlypityyou。Spiteofthisfirstfault，youarestilldeeplyadmiredbyLOUISEDECHAULIEU。