“But，asIlookuponthisportraitandlistentoyoursmilethatwhispersofrapture，theraysofahopewhichIhadsternlybanishedpiercedthegloom，likethelightofdawn，againtobeobscuredbyrisingmistsofdoubtandfearofyourdispleasure，ifthemorningshouldbreaktoday。No，itisimpossibleyoushouldlovemeyet——Ifeelit；butintime，asyoumakeproofofthestrength，theconstancy，anddepthofmyaffection，youmayyieldmesomefootholdinyourheart。Ifmydaringoffendsyou，tellmesowithoutanger，andIwillreturntomyformerpart。Butifyouconsenttotryandloveme，bemercifulandbreakitgentlytoonewhohasplacedthehappinessofhislifeinthesinglethoughtofservingyou。“
Mydear，asIreadtheselastwords，heseemedtorisebeforeme，paleasthenightwhenthecamelliastoldtheirstoryandheknewhisofferingwasaccepted。Thesewords，intheirhumility，wereclearlysomethingquitedifferentfromtheusualfloweryrhetoricoflovers，andawaveoffeelingbrokeoverme；itwasthebreathofhappiness。
Theweatherhasbeenatrocious；impossibletogototheBoiswithoutexcitingallsortsofsuspicions。Evenmymother，whooftengoesout，regardlessofrain，remainsathome，andalone。
Wednesdayevening。
Ihavejustseen/him/attheOpera，mydear；heisanotherman。Hecametoourbox，introducedbytheSardinianambassador。
Havingreadinmyeyesthatthisaudacitywastakeningoodpart，heseemedawkwardlyconsciousofhislimbs，andaddressedtheMarquised’Espardas“mademoiselle。“Alightfarbrighterthantheglareofthechandeliersflashedfromhiseyes。Atlasthewentoutwiththeairofamanwhodidn’tknowwhathemightdonext。
“TheBarondeMacumerisinlove!“exclaimedMme。deMaufrigneuse。
“Strange，isn’tit，forafallenminister？“repliedmymother。
IhadsufficientpresenceofmindmyselftoregardwithcuriosityMmes。deMaufrigneuseandd’Espardandmymother，asthoughtheyweretalkingaforeignlanguageandIwantedtoknowwhatitwasallabout，butinwardlymysoulsankinthewavesofanintoxicatingjoy。ThereisonlyonewordtoexpresswhatIfelt，andthatis：rapture。SuchloveasFelipe’ssurelymakeshimworthyofmine。Iamtheverybreathofhislife，myhandsholdthethreadthatguideshisthoughts。Tobequitefrank，Ihaveamadlongingtoseehimcleareveryobstacleandstandbeforeme，askingboldlyformyhand。ThenIshouldknowwhetherthisstormoflovewouldsinktoplacidcalmataglancefromme。
Ah!mydear，Istoppedhere，andIamstillallinatremble。AsI
wrote，Iheardaslightnoiseoutside，androsetoseewhatitwas。
FrommywindowIcouldseehimcomingalongtheridgeofthewallattheriskofhislife。Iwenttothebedroomwindowandmadehimasign，itwasenough；heleapedfromthewall——tenfeet——andthenranalongtheroad，asfarasIcouldseehim，inordertoshowmethathewasnothurt。Thatheshouldthinkofmyfearatthemomentwhenhemusthavebeenstunnedbyhisfall，movedmesomuchthatIamstillcrying；Idon’tknowwhy。Poorungainlyman!whatwashecomingfor？
whathadhetosaytome？
Idarenotwritemythoughts，andshallgotobedjoyful，thinkingofallthatwewouldsayifweweretogether。Farewell，fairsilentone。
Ihavenottimetoscoldyoufornotwriting，butitismorethanamonthsinceIhaveheardfromyou!Doesthismeanthatyouareatlasthappy？Haveyoulostthe“completeindependence“whichyouweresoproudof，andwhichto-nighthassonearlyplayedmefalse？
Iflovebethelifeoftheworld，whydoausterephilosopherscountitfornothinginmarriage？WhyshouldSocietytakeforitsfirstlawthatthewomanmustbesacrificedtothefamily，introducingthusanoteofdiscordintotheveryheartofmarriage？Andthisdiscordwasforeseen，sinceitwastomeetthedangersarisingfromitthatmenwerearmedwithnew-foundpowersagainstus。Butforthese，weshouldhavebeenabletobringtheirwholetheorytonothing，whetherbytheforceofloveorofasecret，persistentaversion。
Iseeinmarriage，asitatpresentexists，twoopposingforceswhichitwasthetaskofthelawgivertoreconcile。“Whenwilltheybereconciled？“Isaidtomyself，asIreadyourletter。Oh!mydear，onesuchletteraloneisenoughtooverthrowthewholefabricconstructedbythesageofAveyron，underwhoseshelterIhadsocheerfullyensconcedmyself!Thelawsweremadebyoldmen——anywomancanseethat——andtheyhavebeenprudentenoughtodecreethatconjugallove，apartfrompassion，isnotdegrading，andthatawomaninyieldingherselfmaydispensewiththesanctionoflove，providedthemancanlegallycallherhis。IntheirexclusiveconcernforthefamilytheyhaveimitatedNature，whoseonecareistopropagatethespecies。
FormerlyIwasaperson，nowIamachattel。NotafewtearshaveI
gulpeddown，aloneandfarfromeveryone。HowgladlywouldIhaveexchangedthemforaconsolingsmile!Whyareourdestiniessounequal？Yoursoulexpandsintheatmosphereofalawfulpassion。Foryou，virtuewillcoincidewithpleasure。Ifyouencounterpain，itwillbeofyourownfreechoice。Yourduty，ifyoumarryFelipe，willbeonewiththesweetest，freestindulgenceoffeeling。Ourfutureisbigwiththeanswertomyquestion，andIlookforitwithrestlesseagerness。
Youloveandareadored。Oh!mydear，letthisnobleromance，theoldsubjectofourdreams，takefullpossessionofyoursoul。Womanlybeauty，refinedandspiritualizedinyou，wascreatedbyGod，forHisownpurposes，tocharmandtodelight。Yes，mysweet，guardwellthesecretofyourheart，andsubmitFelipetothoseingeniousdevicesofoursfortestingalover’smetal。Aboveall，maketrialofyourownlove，forthisisevenmoreimportant。Itissoeasytobemisledbythedeceptiveglamourofnoveltyandpassion，andbythevisionofhappiness。
Aloneofthetwofriends，youremaininyourmaidenindependence；andIbeseechyou，dearest，donotrisktheirrevocablestepofmarriagewithoutsomeguarantee。Ithappenssometimes，whentwoaretalkingtogether，apartfromtheworld，theirsoulsstrippedofsocialdisguise，thatagesture，aword，alooklightsup，asbyaflash，somedarkabyss。Youhavecourageandstrengthtotreadboldlyinpathswhereotherswouldbelost。
YouhavenoconceptioninwhatanxietyIwatchyou。AcrossallthisspaceIseeyou；myheartbeatswithyours。Besure，therefore，towriteandtellmeeverything。Yourletterscreateaninnerlifeofpassionwithinmyhomely，peacefulhousehold，whichremindsmeofalevelhighroadonagrayday。Theonlyeventhere，mysweet，isthatI
amplayingcross-purposeswithmyself。ButIdon’twanttotellyouaboutitjustnow；itmustwaitforanotherday。Withdoggedobstinacy，Ipassfromdespairtohope，nowyielding，nowholdingback。ItmaybethatIaskfromlifemorethanwehavearighttoclaim。Inyouthwearesoreadytobelievethattheidealandtherealwillharmonize!
Ihavebeenponderingalone，seatedbeneatharockinmypark，andthefruitofmyponderingisthatloveinmarriageisahappyaccidentonwhichitisimpossibletobaseauniversallaw。MyAveyronphilosopherisrightinlookingonthefamilyastheonlypossibleunitinsociety，andinplacingwomaninsubjectiontothefamily，asshehasbeeninallages。Thesolutionofthisgreat——forusalmostawful——
questionliesinourfirstchild。Forthisreason，Iwouldgladlybeamother，wereitonlytosupplyfoodfortheconsumingenergyofmysoul。
Louis’temperremainsasperfectasever；hisloveisoftheactive，mytendernessofthepassive，type。Heishappy，pluckingtheflowerswhichbloomforhim，withouttroublingaboutthelaboroftheearthwhichhasproducedthem。Blessedself-absorption!Atwhatevercosttomyself，Ifallinwithhisillusions，asamother，inmyideaofher，shouldbereadytospendherselftosatisfyafancyofherchild。Theintensityofhisjoyblindshim，andeventhrowsitsreflectionuponme。Thesmileorlookofsatisfactionwhichtheknowledgeofhiscontentbringstomyfaceisenoughtosatisfyhim。Andso，“mychild“
isthepetnamewhichIgivehimwhenwearealone。
AndIwaitforthefruitofallthesesacrificeswhichremainasecretbetweenGod，myself，andyou。OnmotherhoodIhavestakedenormously；
mycreditaccountisnowtoolarge，IfearIshallneverreceivefullpayment。ToitIlookforemploymentofmyenergy，expansionofmyheart，andthecompensationofaworldofjoys。PrayHeavenIbenotdeceived!Itisaquestionofallmyfutureand，horriblethought，ofmyvirtue。
Dearweddedsweetheart，——YourletterhasarrivedattheverymomenttoheartenmeforaboldstepwhichIhavebeenmeditatingnightandday。
Ifeelwithinmeastrangecravingfortheunknown，or，ifyouwill，theforbidden，whichmakesmeuneasyandrevealsaconflictinprogressinmysoulbetweenthelawsofsocietyandofnature。I
cannottellwhethernatureinmeisthestrongerofthetwo，butI
surprisemyselfintheactofmeditatingbetweenthehostilepowers。
Inplainwords，whatIwantedwastospeakwithFelipe，alone，atnight，underthelime-treesatthebottomofourgarden。Thereisnodenyingthatthisdesirebeseemsthegirlwhohasearnedtheepithetofan“up-to-dateyounglady，“bestowedonmebytheDuchessinjest，andwhichmyfatherhasapproved。
Yettomethereseemsamethodinthismadness。IshouldrecompenseFelipeforthelongnightshehaspassedundermywindow，atthesametimethatIshouldtesthim，byseeingwhathethinksofmyescapadeandhowhecomportshimselfatacriticalmoment。Lethimcastahaloroundmyfolly——beholdinhimmyhusband；lethimshowoneiotalessofthetremulousrespectwithwhichhebowstomeintheChamps-
Elysees——farewell，DonFelipe。
Asforsociety，IrunlessriskinmeetingmyloverthusthanwhenI
smiletohiminthedrawing-roomsofMme。deMaufrigneuseandtheoldMarquisedeBeauseant，wherespiesnowsurroundusoneveryside；andHeavenonlyknowshowpeoplestareatthegirl，suspectedofaweaknessforagrotesque，likeMacumer。
IcannottellyoutowhatastateofagitationIamreducedbydreamingofthisidea，andthetimeIhavegiventoplanningitsexecution。Iwantedyoubadly。Whathappyhoursweshouldhavechatteredaway，lostinthemazesofuncertainty，enjoyinginanticipationallthedelightsandhorrorsofafirstmeetinginthesilenceofnight，underthenoblelime-treesoftheChaulieumansion，withthemoonlightdancingthroughtheleaves!AsIsatalone，everynervetingling，Icried，“Oh!Renee，whereareyou？“Thenyourlettercame，likeamatchtogunpowder，andmylastscrupleswentbytheboard。
ThroughthewindowItossedtomybewilderedadoreranexacttracingofthekeyofthelittlegateattheendofthegarden，togetherwiththisnote：
“Yourmadnessmustreallybeputastopto。Ifyoubrokeyourneck，youwouldruinthereputationofthewomanyouprofesstolove。Areyouworthyofanewproofofregard，anddoyoudeservethatIshouldtalkwithyouunderthelimesatthefootofthegardenatthehourwhenthemoonthrowsthemintoshadow？“
Yesterdayatoneo’clock，whenGriffithwasgoingtobed，Isaidtoher：
“Takeyourshawl，dear，andcomeoutwithme。Iwanttogotothebottomofthegardenwithoutanyoneknowing。“
Withoutaword，shefollowedme。Oh!myRenee，whatanawfulmomentwhen，afteralittlepausefullofdeliciousthrillsofagony，Isawhimglidingalonglikeashadow。Whenhehadreachedthegardensafely，IsaidtoGriffith：
“Don’tbeastonished，buttheBarondeMacumerishere，and，indeed，itisonthataccountIbroughtyouwithme。“
NoreplyfromGriffith。
“Whatwouldyouhavewithme？“saidFelipe，inatoneofsuchagitationthatitwaseasytoseehewasdrivenbesidehimselfbythenoise，slightasitwas，ofourdressesinthesilenceofthenightandofourstepsuponthegravel。
“IwanttosaytoyouwhatIcouldnotwrite，“Ireplied。
Griffithwithdrewafewsteps。Itwasoneofthosemildnights，whentheairisheavywiththescentofflowers。Myheadswamwiththeintoxicatingdelightoffindingmyselfallbutalonewithhiminthefriendlyshadeofthelime-trees，beyondwhichlaythegarden，shiningallthemorebrightlybecausethewhitefacadeofthehousereflectedthemoonlight。Thecontrastseemed，asitwere，anemblemofourclandestineloveleadinguptotheglaringpublicityofawedding。
Neitherofuscoulddomoreatfirstthandrinkinsilentlytheecstasyofamoment，asnewandmarvelousforhimasforme。AtlastI
foundtonguetosay，pointingtotheelm-tree：
“AlthoughIamnotafraidofscandal，youshallnotclimbthattreeagain。Wehavelongenoughplayedschoolboyandschoolgirl，letusrisenowtotheheightofourdestiny。Hadthatfallkilledyou，I
shouldhavedieddisgraced……“
Ilookedathim。Everyscrapofcolorhadlefthisface。
“Andifyouhadbeenfoundthere，suspicionwouldhaveattachedeithertomymotherortome……“
“Forgiveme，“hemurmured。