supposeyouknowwhattodo？““Idonot，“saidhe。“Thenhirmidevlis，“saidshe，“youareafool。Butleavethemattertome，I
knowhowtodisposeofherinRomanfashion。“Whyshewantedtointerfereinthematter，brother，Idon’tknow，unlessitwasfrompurebrimstonenessofdisposition-shehadnohandinthematterwhichhadbroughtthepartyintotrouble-shewasonlyonavisit，andithadhappenedbeforeshecame；butshewasalwaysreadytogivedangerousadvice。Well，brother，theprincipalmanlistenedtowhatshehadtosay，andletherdowhatshewould；andshemadeapudding，averyniceone，nodoubt-for，besidesplums，sheputindrowsandalltheRomancondimentsthatsheknewof；andshegaveittotheprincipalman，andtheprincipalputitintoabasketanddirectedittothewomanin-Castle，andthewomaninthecastletookitand-“
’Ateofit，’saidI；’justlikemycase!’
’Quitedifferent，brother；shetookit，itistrue，butinsteadofgivingwaytoherappetite，asyoumighthavedone，sheputitbeforetherestwhomshewasgoingtoimpeach；perhapsshewishedtoseehowtheylikeditbeforeshetasteditherself；andalltherestwerepoisoned，andonedied，andtherewasapreciousoutcry，andthewomancriedloudestofall；andshesaid，“Itwasmydeathwassoughtfor；Iknowtheman，andI’llberevenged。“AndthenthePokneesspoketoherandsaid，“Wherecanwefindhim？“andshesaid，“Iamawaketohismotions；threeweeksfromhence，thenightbeforethefullmoon，atsuchandsuchanhour，hewillpassdownsuchalanewithsuchaman。“’
’Well，’saidI，’andwhatdidthePokneesdo？’
’Do，brother!sentforaplastramengrofromBowStreet，quitesecretly，andtoldhimwhatthewomanhadsaid；andthenightbeforethefullmoon，theplastramengrowenttotheplacewhichthejuwahadpointedout，allalone，brother；andinorderthathemightnotbetoolate，hewenttwohoursbeforehistime。Iknowtheplacewell，brother，wheretheplastramengroplacedhimselfbehindathickhollytree，attheendofalane，whereagateleadsintovariousfields，throughwhichthereisapathforcartsandhorses。ThelaneiscalledthedarklanebytheGorgios，beingmuchshadedbytrees。Sotheplastramengroplacedhimselfinthedarklanebehindthehollytree；itwasacoldFebruarynight，drearythough；thewindblewingusts，andthemoonhadnotyetrisen，andtheplastramengrowaitedbehindthetreetillhewastired，andthoughthemightaswellsitdown；sohesatdown，andwasnotlonginfallingtosleep，andtherehesleptforsomehours；andwhenheawokethemoonhadrisen，andwasshiningbright，sothattherewasakindofmoonlighteveninthedarklane；andtheplastramengropulledouthiswatch，andcontrivedtomakeoutthatitwasjusttwohoursbeyondthetimewhenthemenshouldhavepassedby。Brother，Idonotknowwhattheplastramengrothoughtofhimself，butIknow，brother，whatI
shouldhavethoughtofmyselfinhissituation。Ishouldhavethought，brother，thatIwasadrowsyscoppelo，andthatIhadletthefellowpassbywhilstIwassleepingbehindabush。Asitturnedout，however，hisgoingtosleepdidnoharm，butquitethecontrary：justashewasgoingaway，heheardagateslaminthedirectionofthefields，andthenheheardthelowstumpingofhorses，asifonsoftground，forthepathinthosefieldsisgenerallysoft，andatthattimeithadbeenlatelyploughedup。
Well，brother，presentlyhesawtwomenonhorsebackcomingtowardsthelanethroughthefieldbehindthegate；themanwhorodeforemostwasatallbigfellow，theverymanhewasinquestof；
theotherwasasmallerchap，notsosmalleither，butalight，wiryfellow，andapropermasterofhishandswhenheseesoccasionforusingthem。Well，brother，theforemostmancametothegate，reachedatthehank，undidit，androdethrough，holdingitopenfortheother。Before，however，theothercouldfollowintothelane，outboltedtheplastramengrofrombehindthetree，kickedthegatetowithhisfoot，and，seizingthebigmanonhorse-back，“Youaremyprisoner，“saidhe。Iamofopinion，brother，thattheplastramengro，notwithstandinghewenttosleep，musthavebeenaregularfinefellow。’
’Iamentirelyofyouropinion，’saidI；’butwhathappenedthen？’
’Why，brother，theRommanychal，afterhehadsomewhatrecoveredfromhissurprise，foritisratheruncomfortabletobelaidholdofatnight-time，andtoldyouareaprisoner；moreespeciallywhenyouhappentohavetwoorthreethingsonyourmindwhich，ifprovedagainstyou，wouldcarryyoutothenashky，-theRommanychal，Isay，clubbedhiswhip，andaimedablowattheplastramengro，which，ifithadhithimontheskull，aswasintended，wouldverylikelyhavecrackedit。Theplastramengro，however，receiveditpartlyonhisstaff，sothatitdidhimnoparticulardamage。Whereupon，seeingwhatkindofcustomerhehadtodealwith，hedroppedhisstaffandseizedthechalwithbothhishands，whoforthwithspurredhishorse，hoping，bydoingso，eithertobreakawayfromhimorflinghimdown；butitwouldnotdo-theplastramengroheldonlikeabull-dog，sothattheRommanychal，toescapebeinghauledtotheground，suddenlyflunghimselfoffthesaddle，andthenhappenedinthatlane，closebythegate，suchastrugglebetweenthosetwo-thechalandtherunner-asI
supposewillneverhappenagain。Butyoumusthaveheardofit；
everyonehasheardofit；everyonehasheardofthefightbetweentheBowStreetengroandtheRommanychal。’
’Ineverheardofittillnow。’
’AllEnglandrungofit，brother。Thereneverwasabettermatchthanbetweenthosetwo。Therunnerwassomewhatthestrongerofthetwo-allthoseengroesarestrongfellows-andagreatdealcooler，forallofthatsortarewondrouscoolpeople-hehad，however，todowithonewhoknewfullwellhowtotakehisownpart。Thechalfoughttheengro，brother，intheoldRomanfashion。Hebit，hekicked，andscreamedlikeawildcatofBenygant；castingfoamfromhismouthandfirefromhiseyes。
Sometimeshewasbeneaththeengro’slegs，andsometimeshewasuponhisshoulders。Whattheengrofoundthemostdifficultwastogetafirmholdofthechal，fornosoonerdidheseizethechalbyanypartofhiswearingapparel，thanthechaleithertorehimselfaway，orcontrivedtoslipoutofit；sothatinalittletimethechalwasthreepartsnaked；andasforholdinghimbythebody，itwasoutofthequestion，forhewasasslipperyasaneel。AtlasttheengroseizedthechalbytheBelcher’shandkerchief，whichheworeinaknotroundhisneck，anddowhateverthechalcould，hecouldnotfreehimself；andwhentheengrosawthat，itgavehimfreshheart，nodoubt：“It’sofnouse，“saidhe；“youhadbettergivein；holdoutyourhandsforthedarbies，orIwillthrottleyou。“
’Andwhatdidtheotherfellowdo，whocamewiththechal？’saidI。
’Isatstillonmyhorse，brother。’
’You!’saidI。’Wereyoutheman？’
’Iwashe，brother。’
’Andwhydidyounothelpyourcomrade？’
’Ihavefoughtinthering，brother。’
’Andwhathadfightingintheringtodowithfightinginthelane？’
’Youmeannotfighting。Agreatdeal，brother；ittaughtmetoprizefairplay。WhenIfoughtStaffordshireDick，t’othersideofLondon，Iwasalone，brother。NotaRommanychaltobackme，andhehadallhisbrotherpalsabouthim；buttheygavemefairplay，brother；andIbeatStaffordshireDick，whichIcouldn’thavedonehadtheyputonefingeronhissidethescale；forhewasasgoodamanasmyself，ornearlyso。Now，brother，hadIbutbentafingerinfavouroftheRommanychal，theplastramengrowouldneverhavecomealiveoutofthelane；butIdidnot，forIthoughttomyselffairplayisapreciousstone；soyousee，brother-’
’Thatyouarequiteright，Mr。Petulengro，Iseethatclearly；andnow，prayproceedwithyournarration；itisbothmoralandentertaining。’
ButMr。Petulengrodidnotproceedwithhisnarration，neitherdidheproceeduponhisway；hehadstoppedhishorse，andhiseyeswereintentlyfixedonabroadstripofgrassbeneathsomeloftytrees，ontheleftsideoftheroad。Itwasapleasantenoughspot，andseemedtoinvitewayfaringpeople，suchaswewere，torestfromthefatiguesoftheroad，andtheheatandvehemenceofthesun。Afterexaminingitforaconsiderabletime，Mr。
Petulengrosaid，’Isay，brother，thatwouldbeaniceplaceforatussle!’
’Idaresayitwould，’saidI，’iftwopeoplewereinclinedtofight。’
’Thegroundissmooth，’saidMr。Petulengro；’withoutholesorruts，andthetreescastmuchshade。Idon’tthink，brother，thatwecouldfindabetterplace，’saidMr。Petulengro，springingfromhishorse。
’ButyouandIdon’twanttofight!’
’Speakforyourself，brother，’saidMr。Petulengro。’However，I
willtellyouhowthematterstands。Thereisapointatpresentbetweenus。TherecanbenodoubtthatyouarethecauseofMrs。
Herne’sdeath，innocently，youwillsay，butstillthecause。Now，Ishouldn’tlikeittobeknownthatIwentupanddownthecountrywithapalwhowasthecauseofmymother-in-law’sdeath，that’stosay，unlesshegavemesatisfaction。Now，ifIandmypalhaveatussle，hegivesmesatisfaction；and，ifheknocksmyeyesout，whichIknowyoucan’tdo，itmakesnodifferenceatall，hegivesmesatisfaction；andhewhosaystothecontraryknowsnothingofgypsylaw，andisadinelointothebargain。’
’Butwehavenogloves!’
’Gloves!’saidMr。Petulengro，contemptuously，’gloves!Itellyouwhat，brother，Ialwaysthoughtyouwereabetterhandattheglovesthanthenakedfist；and，totellyouthetruth，besidestakingsatisfactionforMrs。Herne’sdeath，Iwishtoseewhatyoucandowithyourmawleys；sonowisyourtime，brother，andthisisyourplace，grassandshade，norutsorholes；comeon，brother，orIshallthinkyouwhatIshouldnotliketocallyou。’
CHAPTERLXXXII
Offenceanddefence-I’msatisfied-Fondofsolitude-Possessionofproperty-ChalDevlehi-Windingpath。
ANDwhenIheardMr。Petulengrotalkinthismanner，whichIhadneverheardhimdobefore，andwhichIcanonlyaccountforbyhisbeingfastingandill-tempered，Ihadofcoursenootheralternativethantoaccepthischallenge；soIputmyselfintoaposturewhichIdeemedthebestbothforoffenceanddefence，andthetusslecommenced；andwhenithadenduredforabouthalfanhour，Mr。Petulengrosaid，’Brother，thereismuchbloodonyourface；youhadbetterwipeitoff’；andwhenIhadwipeditoff，andagainresumedmyformerattitude，Mr。Petulengrosaid，’Ithinkenoughhasbeendone，brother，intheaffairoftheoldwoman；I
have，moreover，triedwhatyouareabletodo，andfindyou，asI
thought，lessaptwiththenakedmawleysthanthestuffedgloves；
nay，brother，putyourhandsdown，I’msatisfied；bloodhasbeenshed，whichisallthatcanbereasonablyexpectedforanoldwomanwhocarriedsomuchbrimstoneaboutherasMrs。Herne。’
Sothestruggleended，andweresumedourroute，Mr。Petulengrosittingsidewaysuponhishorseasbefore，andIdrivingmylittlepony-cart；andwhenwehadproceededaboutthreemiles，wecametoasmallpublic-house，whichborethesignoftheSilentWoman，wherewestoppedtorefreshourcattleandourselves；andaswesatoverourbreadandale，itcametopassthatMr。Petulengroaskedmevariousquestions，andamongstothers，howIintendedtodisposeofmyself；ItoldhimthatIdidnotknow；whereupon，withconsiderablefrankness，heinvitedmetohiscamp，andtoldmethatifIchosetosettledownamongstthem，andbecomeaRommanychal，Ishouldhavehiswife’ssisterUrsula，whowasstillunmarried，andoccasionallytalkedofme。
Ideclinedhisoffer，assigningasareasontherecentdeathofMrs。Herne，ofwhichIwasthecause，althoughinnocent。’AprettylifeIshouldleadwiththosetwo，’saidI，’whentheycametoknowit。’’Pooh，’saidMr。Petulengro，’theywillneverknowit。I
shan’tblab，andasforLeonora，thatgirlhasaheadonhershoulders。’’Unlikethewomaninthesign，’saidI，’whoseheadiscutoff。Youspeaknonsense，Mr。Petulengro；aslongasawomanhasaheadonhershouldersshe’lltalk，-but，leavingwomenoutofthecase，itisimpossibletokeepanythingasecret；anoldmasterofminetoldmesolongago。Ihavemoreoveranotherreasonfordecliningyouroffer。Iamatpresentnotdisposedforsociety。Iambecomefondofsolitude。IwishIcouldfindsomequietplacetowhichIcouldretiretoholdcommunionwithmyownthoughts，andpractise，ifIthoughtfit，eitherofmytrades。’