’Iunderstandyou，’saidI；’notwithstandingyourtroublesandanxietiesyoufindlifeverytolerable；hasyouroriginalityeverbeencalledinquestion？’
’Onthecontrary，everyonedeclaresthatoriginalityconstitutesthemostremarkablefeatureofmywritings；themanhassomefaults，theysay，butwantoforiginalityiscertainlynotoneofthem。Heisquitedifferentfromothers-acertainnewspaper，itistrue，the-Ithink，onceinsinuatedthatinacertainworkofmineIhadtakenahintortwofromthewritingsofacoupleofauthorswhichitmentioned；ithappened，however，thatIhadneverevenreadonesyllableofthewritingsofeither，andofoneofthemhadneverevenheardthename；somuchforthediscriminationofthe。Bythebye，whatarascallynewspaperthatis!’
’Averyrascallynewspaper，’saidI。
CHAPTERLXVII
Disturbedslumbers-Thebed-post-Twowizards-WhatcanIdo？-
Reallibrary-TheRev。Mr。Platitude-TolerationtoDissenters-
Paradox-SwordofSt。Peter-Enemytohumbug-Highprinciples-
Falseconcord-Thedamsel-Whatreligion？-Furtherconversation-Thatwouldneverdo!-Mayyouprosper。
DURINGthegreaterpartofthatnightmyslumbersweredisturbedbystrangedreams。Amongstotherthings，IfanciedthatIwasmyhost；myheadappearedtobeteemingwithwildthoughtsandimaginations，outofwhichIwasendeavouringtoframeabook。Andnowthebookwasfinishedandgiventotheworld，andtheworldshouted；andalleyeswereturneduponme，andIshrankfromtheeyesoftheworld。And，whenIgotintoretiredplaces，Itouchedvariousobjectsinordertobaffletheevilchance。Inshort，duringthewholenight，IwasactingoverthestorywhichIhadheardbeforeIwenttobed。
Atabouteighto’clockIawoke。Thestormhadlongsincepassedaway，andthemorningwasbrightandshining；mycouchwassosoftandluxuriousthatIfeltlothtoquitit，soIlaysometime，myeyeswanderingaboutthemagnificentroomtowhichfortunehadconductedmeinsosingularamanner；atlastIheavedasigh；I
wasthinkingofmyownhomelesscondition，andimaginingwhereI
shouldfindmyselfonthefollowingmorning。Unwilling，however，toindulgeinmelancholythoughts，Isprangoutofbedandproceededtodressmyself，and，whilstdressing，Ifeltanirresistibleinclinationtotouchthebed-post。
Ifinisheddressingandlefttheroom，feelingcompelled，however，asIleftit，totouchthelintelofthedoor。Isitpossible，thoughtI，thatfromwhatIhavelatelyheardthelong-forgotteninfluenceshouldhavepossessedmeagain？butIwillnotgivewaytoit；soIhurrieddownstairs，resistingasIwentacertaininclinationwhichIoccasionallyfelttotouchtherailofthebanister。Iwaspresentlyuponthegravelwalkbeforethehouse：
itwasindeedagloriousmorning。Istoodforsometimeobservingthegoldenfishdisportinginthewatersofthepond，andthenstrolledaboutamongstthenobletreesofthepark；thebeautyandfreshnessofthemorning-fortheairhadbeenconsiderablycooledbythelatestorm-soonenabledmetocastawaythegloomyideaswhichhadpreviouslytakenpossessionofmymind，and，afterastrollofabouthalfanhour，Ireturnedtowardsthehouseinhighspirits。ItistruethatonceIfeltverymuchinclinedtogoandtouchtheleavesofafloweryshrubwhichIsawatsomedistance，andhadevenmovedtwoorthreepacestowardsit；but，bethinkingmyself，Imanfullyresistedthetemptation。’Begone!’Iexclaimed，’yesorceries，inwhichIformerlytrusted-begoneforevervagarieswhichIhadalmostforgotten；goodluckisnottobeobtained，orbadaverted，bymagictouches；besides，twowizardsinoneparishwouldbetoomuch，inallconscience。’
Ireturnedtothehouse，andenteredthelibrary；breakfastwaslaidonthetable，andmyfriendwasstandingbeforetheportraitwhichIhavealreadysaidhungabovethemantelpiece；sointentlywasheoccupiedingazingatitthathedidnothearmeenter，norwasawareofmypresencetillIadvancedclosetohimandspoke，whenheturnedroundandshookmebythehand。
’Whatcanpossiblyhaveinducedyoutohangupthatportraitinyourlibrary？itisastaringlikeness，itistrue，butitappearstomeawretcheddaub。’
’Daubasyoucallit，’saidmyfriend，smiling，’IwouldnotpartwithitforthebestpieceofRafael。FormanyahappythoughtI
amindebtedtothatpicture-itismyprincipalsourceofinspiration；whenmyimaginationflags，asofcourseitoccasionallydoes，Istareuponthosefeatures，andforthwithstrangeideasoffunanddrollerybegintoflowintomymind；theseIround，amplify，orcombineintogoodlycreations，andbringforthasIfindanopportunity。ItistruethatIamoccasionallytormentedbythethoughtthat，bydoingthis，Iamcommittingplagiarism；though，inthatcase，allthoughtsmustbeplagiarisms，allthatwethinkbeingtheresultofwhatwehear，see，orfeel。
WhatcanIdo？Imustderivemythoughtsfromsomesourceorother；and，afterall，itisbettertoplagiarisefromthefeaturesofmylandlordthanfromtheworksofButlerandCervantes。Myworks，asyouareaware，areofaserio-comiccharacter。MyneighboursareofopinionthatIamagreatreader，andsoIam，butonlyofthosefeatures-myreallibraryisthatpicture。’
’Buthowdidyouobtainit？’saidI。
’Someyearsagoatravellingpaintercameintothisneighbourhood，andmyjollyhost，attherequestofhiswife，consentedtositforhisportrait；shehighlyadmiredthepicture，butshesoondied，andthenmyfatfriend，whoisofanaffectionatedisposition，saidhecouldnotbearthesightofit，asitputhiminmindofhispoorwife。Ipurchaseditofhimforfivepounds-Iwouldnottakefivethousandforit；whenyoucalledthatpictureadaub，youdidnotseeallthepoetryofit。’
Wesatdowntobreakfast；myentertainerappearedtobeinmuchbetterspiritsthanontheprecedingday；Ididnotobservehimtouchonce；erebreakfastwasoveraservantentered-’TheReverendMr。Platitude，sir，’saidhe。
Ashadeofdissatisfactioncameoverthecountenanceofmyhost。
’Whatdoesthesillypestilentfellowmeanbycominghere？’saidhe，halftohimself；’lethimcomein，’saidhetotheservant。
Theservantwentout，andinamomentreappeared，introducingtheReverendMr。Platitude。TheReverendMr。Platitude，havingwhatisvulgarlycalledagameleg，cameshamblingintotheroom；hewasaboutthirtyyearsofage，andaboutfivefeetthreeincheshigh；
hisfacewasofthecolourofpepper，andnearlyasruggedasanutmeg-grater；hishairwasblack；withhiseyeshesquinted，andgrinnedwithhislips，whichwereverymuchapart，disclosingtwoveryirregularrowsofteeth；hewasdressedinthetrueLeviticalfashion，inasuitofspotlessblack，andaneckerchiefofspotlesswhite。
TheReverendMr。Platitudeadvancedwinkingandgrinningtomyentertainer，whoreceivedhimpolitelybutwithevidentcoldness；
nothingdaunted，however，theReverendMr。Platitudetookaseatbythetable，and，beingaskedtotakeacupofcoffee，winked，grinned，andconsented。
IncompanyIamoccasionallysubjecttofitsofwhatisgenerallycalledabsence；mymindtakesflightandreturnstoformerscenes，orpressesforwardintothefuture。Oneofthesefitsofabsencecameovermeatthistime-IlookedattheReverendMr。Platitudeforamoment，heardawordortwothatproceededfromhismouth，andsayingtomyself，’Youarenomanforme，’fellintoafitofmusing-intothesametrainofthoughtasinthemorning，noverypleasantone-Iwasthinkingofthefuture。
Icontinuedinmyreverieforsometime，andprobablyshouldhavecontinuedlonger，hadInotbeensuddenlyarousedbythevoiceofMr。Platituderaisedtoaveryhighkey。’Yes，mydearsir，’saidhe，’itisbuttootrue；Ihaveitongoodauthority-agonechurch-alostchurch-aruinedchurch-ademolishedchurchistheChurchofEngland。TolerationtoDissenters!-oh，monstrous!’
’Isuppose，’saidmyhost，’thattherepealoftheTestActswillbemerelyaprecursoroftheemancipationofthePapists？’
’OftheCatholics，’saidtheReverendMr。Platitude。’Ahem。Therewasatime，asIbelieveyouareaware，mydearsir，whenIwasasmuchopposedtotheemancipationoftheCatholicsasitwaspossibleforanyonetobe；butIwasprejudiced，mydearsir，labouringunderacloudofmostunfortunateprejudice；butIthankmyMakerIamsonolonger。Ihavetravelled，asyouareaware。
Itisonlybytravellingthatonecanruboffprejudices；Ithinkyouwillagreewithmethere。Iamspeakingtoatraveller。I
leftbehindallmyprejudicesinItaly。TheCatholicsareatleastourfellow-Christians。IthankHeaventhatIamnolongeranenemytoCatholicemancipation。’
’AndyetyouwouldnottolerateDissenters？’
’Dissenters，mydearsir；IhopeyouwouldnotclasssuchasetastheDissenterswithCatholics？’
’Perhapsitwouldbeunjust，’saidmyhost，’thoughtowhichofthetwopartiesisanotherthing；butpermitmetoaskyouaquestion：
DoesitnotsmacksomewhatofparadoxtotalkofCatholics，whilstyouadmitthereareDissenters？IfthereareDissenters，howshouldtherebeCatholics？’
’ItisnotmyfaultthatthereareDissenters，’saidtheReverendMr。Platitude；’ifIhadmywillIwouldneitheradmittherewereany，norpermitanytobe。’
’Ofcourseyouwouldadmitthereweresuchaslongastheyexisted；
buthowwouldyougetridofthem？’
’IwouldhavetheChurchexertitsauthority。’
’Whatdoyoumeanbyexertingitsauthority？’
’IwouldnothavetheChurchbeartheswordinvain。’
’What，theswordofSt。Peter？Yourememberwhatthefounderofthereligionwhichyouprofesssaidaboutthesword，“Hewhostrikethwithit……“IthinkthosewhohavecalledthemselvestheChurchhavehadenoughofthesword。Twocanplaywiththesword，Mr。Platitude。TheChurchofRometriedtheswordwiththeLutherans：howdiditfarewiththeChurchofRome？TheChurchofEnglandtriedthesword，Mr。Platitude，withthePuritans：howdiditfarewithLaudandCharles？’