Ireturnedtomylodging，andforthwithbetookmyselftobed，notwithstandingtheearlinessofthehour。Ifelttolerablytranquil；Ihadnowcastmylaststake，andwaspreparedtoabidebytheresult。Whateverthatresultmightbe，Icouldhavenothingtoreproachmyselfwith；Ihadstrainedalltheenergieswhichnaturehadgivenmeinordertorescuemyselffromthedifficultieswhichsurroundedme。Ipresentlysankintoasleep，whichenduredduringtheremainderoftheday，andthewholeofthesucceedingnight。Iawokeaboutnineonthemorrow，andspentmylastthreepenceonabreakfastsomewhatmoreluxuriousthantheimmediatelyprecedingones，foronepennyofthesumwasexpendedonthepurchaseofmilk。
AttheappointedhourIrepairedtothehouseofthebookseller；
thebooksellerwasinhisshop。’Ah，’saidhe，assoonasI
entered，’Iamgladtoseeyou。’Therewasanunwontedheartinessinthebookseller’stones，anunwontedbenignityinhisface。
’So，’saidhe，afterapause，’youhavetakenmyadvice，writtenabookofadventure；nothingliketakingtheadvice，youngman，ofyoursuperiorsinage。Well，Ithinkyourbookwilldo，andsodoesmywife，forwhosejudgmentIhaveagreatregard；aswellI
may，assheisthedaughterofafirst-ratenovelist，deceased。I
thinkIshallventureonsendingyourbooktothepress。’’But，’
saidI，’wehavenotyetagreeduponterms。’’Terms，terms，’saidthebookseller；’ahem!well，thereisnothinglikecomingtotermsatonce。Iwillprintthebook，andgiveyouhalftheprofitwhentheeditionissold。’’Thatwillnotdo，’saidI；’IintendshortlytoleaveLondon：Imusthavesomethingatonce。’’Ah，I
see，’saidthebookseller，’indistress；frequentlythecasewithauthors，especiallyyoungones。Well，Idon’tcareifIpurchaseitofyou，butyoumustbemoderate；thepublicareveryfastidious，andthespeculationmayprovealosingoneafterall。
Letmesee，willfive-hem-’hestopped。Ilookedthebooksellerintheface；therewassomethingpeculiarinit。
Suddenlyitappearedtomeasifthevoiceofhimofthethimblesoundedinmyear，’Nowisyourtime，askenough，neversuchanotherchanceofestablishingyourself；respectabletrade，peaandthimble。’’Well，’saidIatlast，’Ihavenoobjectiontotaketheofferwhichyouwereabouttomake，thoughIreallythinkfive-and-
twentyguineastobescarcelyenough，everythingconsidered。’
’Five-and-twentyguineas!’saidthebookseller；’areyou-whatwasIgoingtosay-Inevermeanttoofferhalfasmuch-Imeanaquarter；Iwasgoingtosayfiveguineas-Imeanpounds；Iwill，however，makeitupguineas。’’Thatwillnotdo，’saidI；’but，asIfindweshallnotdeal，returnmemymanuscript，thatImaycarryittosomeoneelse。’Thebooksellerlookedblank。’Dearme，’
saidhe，’Ishouldneverhavesupposedthatyouwouldhavemadeanyobjectiontosuchanoffer；Iamquitesurethatyouwouldhavebeengladtotakefivepoundsforeitherofthetwohugemanuscriptsofsongsandballadsthatyoubroughtmeonaformeroccasion。’’Well，’saidI，’ifyouwillengagetopublisheitherofthosetwomanuscripts，youshallhavethepresentoneforfivepounds。’’GodforbidthatIshouldmakeanysuchbargain!’saidthebookseller；’Iwouldpublishneitheronanyaccount；but，withrespecttothislastbook，Ihavereallyaninclinationtoprintit，bothforyoursakeandmine；supposewesaytenpounds。’’No，’
saidI，’tenpoundswillnotdo；prayrestorememymanuscript。’
’Stay，’saidthebookseller，’mywifeisinthenextroom，Iwillgoandconsulther。’Thereuponhewentintohisbackroom，whereI
heardhimconversingwithhiswifeinalowtone；inabouttenminuteshereturned。’Younggentleman，’saidhe，’perhapsyouwilltaketeawithusthisevening，whenwewilltalkfurtheroverthematter。’
ThateveningIwentandtookteawiththebooksellerandhiswife，bothofwhom，particularlythelatter，overwhelmedmewithcivility。ItwasnotlongbeforeIlearnedthattheworkhadbeenalreadysenttothepress，andwasintendedtostandattheheadofaseriesofentertainingnarratives，fromwhichmyfriendspromisedthemselvesconsiderableprofit。Thesubjectoftermswasagainbroughtforward。Istoodfirmtomyfirstdemandforalongtime；
when，however，thebookseller’swifecomplimentedmeonmyproductioninthehighestterms，andsaidthatshediscoveredthereinthegermsofgenius，whichshemadenodoubtwouldsomedayproveornamentaltomynativeland，Iconsentedtodropmydemandtotwentypounds，stipulating，however，thatIshouldnotbetroubledwiththecorrectionofthework。
BeforeIdeparted，Ireceivedthetwentypounds，anddepartedwithalighthearttomylodgings。
Reader，amidstthedifficultiesanddangersofthislife，shouldyoueverbetemptedtodespair，calltomindtheselatterchaptersofthelifeofLavengro。Therearefewpositions，howeverdifficult，fromwhichdoggedresolutionandperseverancemaynotliberateyou。
CHAPTERLVIII
Indisposition-Aresolution-Poorequivalents-Thepieceofgold-Flashingeyes-Howbeautiful-Bonjour，Monsieur。
IHADlongagodeterminedtoleaveLondonassoonasthemeansshouldbeinmypower，and，nowthattheywere，IdeterminedtoleavetheGreatCity；yetIfeltsomereluctancetogo。Iwouldfainhavepursuedthecareeroforiginalauthorshipwhichhadjustopeneditselftome，andhavewrittenothertalesofadventure。
Thebooksellerhadgivenmeencouragementenoughtodoso；hehadassuredmethatheshouldbealwayshappytodealwithmeforanarticlethatwasthewordsimilartotheoneIhadbroughthim，providedmytermsweremoderate；andthebookseller’swife，byhercomplimentarylanguage，hadgivenmeyetmoreencouragement。ButforsomemonthspastIhadbeenfarfromwell，andmyoriginalindisposition，broughtonpartlybythepeculiaratmosphereoftheBigCity，partlybyanxietyofmind，hadbeenmuchincreasedbytheexertionswhichIhadbeencompelledtomakeduringthelastfewdays。Ifeltthat，wereItoremainwhereIwas，Ishoulddie，orbecomeaconfirmedvaletudinarian。Iwouldgoforthintothecountry，travellingonfoot，and，byexerciseandinhalingpureair，endeavourtorecovermyhealth，leavingmysubsequentmovementstobedeterminedbyProvidence。
ButwhithershouldIbendmycourse？OnceortwiceIthoughtofwalkinghometotheoldtown，staysometimewithmymotherandmybrother，andenjoythepleasantwalksintheneighbourhood；but，thoughIwishedverymuchtoseemymotherandmybrother，andfeltmuchdisposedtoenjoythesaidpleasantwalks，theoldtownwasnotexactlytheplacetowhichIwishedtogoatthispresentjuncture。Iwasafraidthatpeoplewouldask，WhereareyourNorthernBallads？WhereareyouralliterativetranslationsfromAbGwilym-ofwhichyouwerealwaystalking，andwithwhichyoupromisedtoastonishtheworld？Now，intheeventofsuchinterrogations，whatcouldIanswer？ItistrueIhadcompiledNEWGATELIVESANDTRIALS，andhadwrittenthelifeofJosephSell，butIwasafraidthatthepeopleoftheoldtownwouldscarcelyconsidertheseasequivalentsfortheNorthernBalladsandthesongsofAbGwilym。Iwouldgoforthandwanderinanydirectionbutthatoftheoldtown。
Buthowone’ssensibilityonanyparticularpointdiminisheswithtime；atpresentIentertheoldtownperfectlyindifferentastowhatthepeoplemaybethinkingonthesubjectofthesongsandballads。Withrespecttothepeoplethemselves，whether，likemysensibility，theircuriosityhasaltogetherevaporated，whether，whichisatleastequallyprobable，theyneverentertainedany，onethingiscertain，thatneverinasingleinstancehavetheytroubledmewithanyremarksonthesubjectofthesongsandballads。
Asitwasmyintentiontotravelonfoot，withabundleandastick，Idespatchedmytrunkcontainingsomefewclothesandbookstotheoldtown。Mypreparationsweresoonmade；inaboutthreedaysIwasinreadinesstostart。
Beforedeparting，however，Ibethoughtmeofmyoldfriendtheapple-womanofLondonBridge。Apprehensivethatshemightbelabouringunderthedifficultiesofpoverty，IsentherapieceofgoldbythehandsofayoungmaideninthehouseinwhichIlived。
Thelatterpunctuallyexecutedhercommission，butbroughtmebackthepieceofgold。Theoldwomanwouldnottakeit；shedidnotwantit，shesaid。’Tellthepoorthinlad，’sheadded，’tokeepitforhimself，hewantsitmorethanI。’
RatherlateoneafternoonIdepartedfrommylodging，withmystickinonehandandasmallbundleintheother，shapingmycoursetothesouth-west：whenIfirstarrived，somewhatmorethanayearbefore，Ihadenteredthecitybythenorth-east。AsIwasnotgoinghome，Ideterminedtotakemydepartureinthedirectiontheveryoppositetohome。
JustasIwasabouttocrossthestreetcalledtheHaymarket，atthelowerpart，acabriolet，drawnbyamagnificentanimal，camedashingalongatafuriousrate；itstoppedclosebythecurb-stonewhereIwas，asuddenpullofthereinsnearlybringingthespiritedanimaluponitshaunches。TheJehuwhohadaccomplishedthisfeatwasFrancisArdry。Asmallbeautifulfemale，withflashingeyes，dressedintheextremityoffashion，satbesidehim。
’Holloa，friend，’saidFrancisArdry，’whitherbound？’
’Idonotknow，’saidI；’allIcansayis，thatIamabouttoleaveLondon。’
’Andthemeans？’saidFrancisArdry。
’Ihavethem，’saidI，withacheerfulsmile。
’Quiestcelui-ci？’demandedthesmallfemale，impatiently。
’C’est-monamileplusintime；soyouwereabouttoleaveLondon，withouttellingmeaword，’saidFrancisArdry，somewhatangrily。
’Iintendedtohavewrittentoyou，’saidI：’whatasplendidmarethatis。’
’Isshenot？’saidFrancisArdry，whowasholdinginthemarewithdifficulty；’shecostahundredguineas。’
’Qu’estcequ’ildit？’demandedhiscompanion。
’Ilditquelejumentestbienbeau。’
’Allons，monami，ilesttard，’saidthebeauty，withascornfultossofherhead；’allons!’
’Encoreunmoment，’saidFrancisArdry；’andwhenshallIseeyouagain？’
’Iscarcelyknow，’Ireplied：’Ineversawamoresplendidturnout。’
’Qu’estcequ’ildit？’Isaidtheladyagain。
’Ilditquetoutl’equipageestenassezbongout。’
’Allons，c’estunours，’saidthelady；’lechevalmemeenapeur，’
addedshe，asthemarereareduponhigh。
’Canyoufindnothingelsetoadmirebutthemareandtheequipage？’saidFrancisArdry，reproachfully，afterhehadwithsomedifficultybroughtthemaretoorder。
Liftingmyhand，inwhichIheldmystick，Itookoffmyhat。’Howbeautiful!’saidI，lookingtheladyfullintheface。
’Comment？’saidthelady，inquiringly。
’Ilditquevousetesbellecommeunange，’saidFrancisArdry，emphatically。
’Mais，alabonneheure!arretez，monami，’saidtheladytoFrancisArdry，whowasabouttodriveoff；’jevoudraisbiencauserunmomentaveclui；arretez，ilestdelicieux-Est-cebienainsiquevoustraitezvosamis？’saidshepassionately，asFrancisArdrylifteduphiswhip。’Bonjour，Monsieur，bonjour，’saidshe，thrustingherheadfromthesideandlookingback，asFrancisArdrydroveoffattherateofthirteenmilesanhour。
CHAPTERLIX