第61章
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  soIgrewtothinkitmustbeashamputUponpoorignorantfolk,women,andsuch-like。“ItwasnotlongItriedtoliveGospel-wise,butitwaslikerheaventhananyotherbitofearthhasbeen。I’doldAlicetostrengthenme;buteveryoneelsesaid,’Standupforthyrights,orthou’ltneverget’em;’andwifeandchildrenneverspoke,buttheirhelplessnesscriedaloud,andIwasdriventodoasothersdid,——andthenTomdied。Youknowallaboutthat——I’mgettingscanto’breath,andblind-like。“Thenagainhespoke,aftersomeminutesofhushedsilence。“Allalongitcamenaturaltolovefolk,thoughnowIamwhatIam。IthinkonetimeIcoulde’enhavelovedthemastersifthey’dha’lettenme;thatwasinmyGospel-days,aforemychilddiedo’hunger。Iwastoreintwooftentimes,betweenmysorrowforpoorsufferingfolk,andmytryingtolovethemascausedtheirsufferingstomymind。“AtlastIgaveitupindespair,tryingtomakefolks’actionssquarewi’th’Bible;andIthoughtI’dnolongerlabouratfollowingth’Biblemysel’,I’vesaidallthisafore,maybe。ButfromthattimeI’vedroppeddown,down——down。“Afterthatheonlyspokeinbrokensentences。“Ididnotthinkhe’dbeensuchanoldman,——Oh!thathehadbutforgivenme,“——andthencameearnest,passionate,brokenwordsofprayer。JobLeghhadgonehomelikeonestruckdownwiththeunexpectedshock。

  MaryandJemtogetherwaitedtheapproachofdeath;butasthefinalstruggledrewon,andmorningdawned,Jemsuggestedsomealleviationtothegaspingbreath,topurchasewhichheleftthehouseinsearchofadruggist’sshop,whichshouldbeopenatthatearlyhour。Duringhisabsence,Bartongrewworse;hehadfallenacrossthebed,andhisbreathingseemedalmoststopped;invaindidMarystrivetoraisehim,hersorrowandexhaustionhadrenderedhertooweak。So,onhearingsomeoneenterthehouse-placebelow,shecriedoutforJemtocometoherassistance。Astep,whichwasnotJem’s,cameupthestairs。MrCarsonstoodinthedoor-way。Inoneinstanthecomprehendedthecase。Heraisedupthepowerlessframe;andthedepartingsoullookedoutoftheeyeswithgratitude。Heheldthedyingmanproppedinhisarms。JohnBartonfoldedhishands,asifinprayer。“Prayforus,“saidMar,sinkingonherknees,andforgettinginthatsolemnhourallthathaddividedherfatherandMrCarson。Nootherwordswouldsuggestthemselvesthansomeofthosehehadreadonlyafewhoursbefore:“Godbemercifultoussinners——Forgiveusourtrespassesasweforgivethemthattrespassagainstus。Andwhenthewordsweresaid,JohnBartonlayacorpseinMrCarson’sarms。Soendedthetragedyofapoorman’slife。Maryknewnothingmoreformanyminutes。Whensherecoveredconsciousness,shefoundherselfsupportedbyJemonthe“settle“inthehouse-place。

  JobandMrCarsonwerethere,talkingtogetherlowlyandsolemnly。ThenMrCarsonbadefarewellandleftthehouse;andJobsaidaloud,butasifspeakingtohimself,“Godhasheardthatman’sprayer。Hehascomfortedhim。“

  Thefirstdarkdayofnothingness,Thelastofdangeranddistress。BYRON。AlthoughMaryhadhardlybeenconsciousofherthoughts,andithadbeenmorelikeasecretinstinctinforminghersoul,thantheresultofanyprocessofreasoning,shehadfeltforsometimeeversinceherreturnfromLiverpool,infact,thatforherfathertherewasbutonethingtobedesiredandanticipated,andthatwasdeath!ShehadseenthatConsciencehadgiventhemortalwoundtohisearthlyframe;shedidnotdaretoquestionoftheinfinitemercyofGod,whattheFutureLifewouldbetohim。Thoughatfirstdesolateandstunnedbytheblowwhichhadfallenonherself,shewasresignedandsubmissiveassoonassherecoveredstrengthenoughtoponderandconsideralittle;andyoumaybesurethatnotendernessorlovewaswantingonJem’spart,andnoconsiderationandsympathyonthatofJobandMargaret,tosootheandcomfortthegirlwhonowstoodaloneintheworldasfarasblood-relationswereconcerned。Shedidnotaskorcaretoknowwhatarrangementstheyweremakinginwhisperedtoneswithregardtothefuneral。Sheputherselfintotheirbandswiththetrustofalittlechild;gladtobeundisturbedinthereveriesandremembranceswhichfilledhereyeswithtears,andcausedthemtofallquietlydownherpalecheeks。Itwasthelongestdayshehadeverknowninherlife;everychareandeveryoccupationwastakenawayfromher:butperhapsthelengthofquiettimethusaffordedwasreallygood,althoughitsdurationweigheduponher;forbythismeansshecontemplatedhersituationineverylight,andfullyunderstoodthatthemorning’seventhadleftheranorphan;andthusshewassparedthepangscausedtousbytheoccurrenceofdeathintheevening,justbeforeweshouldnaturally,intheusualcourseofevents,liedowntoslumber。Forinsuchcase,wornoutbyanxiety,anditmaybebymuchwatching,ourveryexcessofgriefrocksitselftosleep,beforewehavehadtimetorealiseitscause;andwewaken,withastartofagonylikeafreshstab,totheconsciousnessoftheoneawfulvacancy,whichshallnever,whiletheworldendures,befilledagain。ThedaybroughtitsburdenofdutytoMrsWilson。Shefeltboundbyregard,aswellasbyetiquette,togoandseeherfuturedaughter-in-law。Andbyanoldassociationofideasperhapsofdeathwithchurch-yards,andchurcheswithSunday,shethoughtitnecessarytoputonherbest,andlatterlyunusedclothes,theairingofwhichonalittleclothes-horsebeforethefireseemedtogiveheranotunpleasingoccupation。WhenJemreturnedhomelateintheeveningsucceedingJohnBarton’sdeath,wearyandoppressedwiththeoccurrencesandexcitementsoftheday,hefoundhismotherbusyabouthermourning,andmuchinclinedtotalk。Althoughhelongedforquiet,hecouldnotavoidsittingdownandansweringherquestions。“Well,Jem!he’sgoneatlast,ishe?““Yes。Howdidyouhear,mother?““Oh,Jobcameoverhere,andtelledme,onhiswaytotheundertaker’s。

  Didhemakeafineend?“ItstruckJemthatshehadnotheardoftheconfessionwhichhadbeenmadebyJohnBartononhisdeath-bed;herememberedJobLegh’sdiscretion,andhedeterminedthatifitcouldbeavoidedhismothershouldneverhearofit。Manyofthedifficultiestobeanticipatedinpreservingthesecretwouldbeobviated,ifhecouldinducehismothertofallintotheplanhehadnamedtoMaryofemigratingtoCanada。Thereasonswhichrenderedthissecrecydesirablerelatedtothedomestichappinesshehopedfor。

  Withhismother’sirritabletemperhecouldhardlyexpectthatallallusiontothecrimeofJohnBartonwouldbeforeverrestrainedfrompassingherlips,andheknewthedeeptrialwhichsuchreferenceswouldbetoMary。

  AccordinglyheresolvedassoonaspossibleinthemorningtogotoJob,andbeseechhissilence;hetrustedthatsecrecyinthatquarter,eveniftheknowledgehadbeenextendedtoMargaret,mightbeeasilysecured。ButwhatwouldbeMrCarsonscourse?WerethereanymeansbywhichhemightbepersuadedtospareJohnBarton’smemory?Hewasrousedupfromthistrainofthoughtbyhismother’smoreirritatedtoneofvoice。“Jem!“shewassaying,“thoumightstjustaswellneverbeatadeath-bedagain,ifthoucannotbringoffmorenewsaboutit;herehaveIbeenbymyselalldayexceptwhenoudJobcamein,butthinksI,whenJemcomeshe’llbesuretobegoodcompany,seeinghewasinthehouseattheverytimeofthedeath;andherethouart,withoutawordtothrowatadog,muchlessthymother;it’snousethygoingtoadeath-bedifthoucannotcarryawayanyofthesayings!““Hedidnotmakeany,mother,“repliedJem。“Welltobesure!Sofondasheusedtobeofholdingforth,tomisssuchafineopportunitythatwillnevercomeagain!Didhedieeasy?““Hewasveryrestlessallnightlong,“saidJem,reluctantlyreturningtothethoughtsofthattime。“Andincoursethoupluckedthepillowaway。Thoudidstnot!Well!withthybringingup,andthylearning,thoumightsthaveknownthatweretheonlyhelpinsuchacase。Therewerepigeons’feathersinthepillow,dependon’tTothinkoftwogrown-upfolklikeyouandMary,notknowingdeathcouldnevercomeeasytoapersonlyingonapillowwithpigeons’feathersin!“Jemwasgladtoescapefromallthistalkingtothesolitudeandquietofhisownroom,wherehecouldlieandthinkuninterruptedlyofwhathadhappenedandremainedtobedone。ThefirstthingwastoseekaninterviewwithMrDuncombe,hisformermaster。

  Accordingly,earlythenextmorningJemsetoffonhiswalktotheworks,whereforsomanyyearshisdayshadbeenspent;whereforsolongatimehisthoughtshadbeenthought,hishopesandfearsexperienced。Itwasnotacheeringfeelingtorememberthathenceforwardhewastobeseveredfromallthesefamiliarlaces;norwerehisspiritsenlivenedbytheevidentfeelingsofthemajorityofthosewhohadbeenhisfellow-workmen。Ashestoodintheentrancetothefoundry,awaitingMrDuncombe’sleisure,manyofthoseemployedintheworkspassedhimontheirreturnfrombreakfast;

  and,withoneortwoexceptions,withoutanyacknowledgmentofformeracquaintancebeyondadistantnodattheutmost。“Itishard,“saidJemtohimself,withabitterandindignantfeelingrisinginhisthroat,“thatletaman’slifehavebeenwhatitmay,folkaresoreadytocreditthefirstwordagainsthim。IcouldliveitdownifIstayedinEngland;butthenwhatwouldnotMaryhavetobear?Soonerorlaterthetruthwouldout;andthenshewouldbeashowtofolkformanyadayasJohnBarton’sdaughter。Well!Goddoesriotjudgeashardlyasman,that’sonecomfortforallofus!“MrDuncombedidnotbelieveinJem’sguilt,inspiteofthesilenceinwhichheagainthisdayheardtheimputationofit;butheagreedthatunderthecircumstancesitwasbetterheshouldleavethecountry。“Wehavebeenwrittentobygovernment,asIthinkItoldyoubefore,torecommendanintelligentman,wellacquaintedwithmechanics,asinstrumentmakertotheAgriculturalCollegetheyareestablishingatToronto,inCanada。Itisacomfortableappointment,——house,——land,——andagoodpercentageontheinstrumentsmade。IwillshowyoutheparticularsifIcanlaymyhandontheletter,whichIbelieveImusthaveleftathome。““Thankyou,sir。NoneedforseeingthelettertosayI’llacceptit。I

  mustleaveManchester;andI’dasliefquitEnglandatoncewhenI’maboutit。““Ofcoursegovernmentgiveyouyourpassage;indeedIbelieveanallowancewouldbemadeforafamilyifyouhadone;butyouarenotamarriedman,Ibelieve?““No,sir,but——“Jemhungbackfromaconfessionwiththeawkwardnessofagirl。“But——“saidMrDuncombe,smiling,“youwouldliketobeamarriedmanbeforeyougo,suppose;eh,Wilson?““Ifyoulease,sir。Andthere’smymother,too。Ihopeshe’llgowithus。

  ButIcanpayherpassage;noneedtotroublegovernment。““Nay,nay!I’llwriteto-dayandrecommendyou;andsaythatyouhaveafamilyoftwo。They’llneveraskifthefamilygoesupwardsordownwards。

  Ishallseeyouagainbeforeyousail,Ihope,Wilson;thoughIbelievethey’llnotallowyoulongtowait。Cometomyhousenexttime;you’llfinditpleasanter,Idaresay。Thesemenaresowrong-headed。Keepupyourheart!“Jemfeltthatitwasarelieftohavethispointsettled;andthatheneednolongerweighreasonsforandagainsthisemigration。Andwithhispathgrowingclearerandclearerbeforehimthelongerhecontemplatedit,hewenttoseeMary,andifhejudgeditfit,totellherwhathehaddecidedupon。Margaretwassittingwithher。“Grandfatherwantstoseeyou!“saidshe,toJem,onhisentrance。“AndIwanttoseehim,“repliedJem,suddenlyrememberinghislastnight’sdeterminationtoenjoinsecrecyonJobLegh。SohehardlystayedtokisspoorMary’ssweetwoe-begoneface,buttorehimselfawayfromhisdarlingtogototheoldmanwhoawaitedhimimpatiently。“I’vegettenanotefromMrCarson,“exclaimedJob,themomenthesawJem;

  “andman-alive,hewantstoseetheeandme!Forsure,there’snomoremischiefup,isthere?“saidhe,lookingatJemwithanexpressionofwonder。

  ButifanysuspicionmingledforaninstantwiththethoughtsthatcrossedJob’smind,itwasimmediatelydispelledbyJem’shonest,fearless,opencountenance。“Ican’tguesswhathe’swanting,pooroldchap,answeredhe。“Maybethere’ssomepointhe’snotyetsatisfiedon;maybe——butit’snouseguessing;

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