First，andmostostensibly，toseetothelevyingofpoundageinthelittlehavenofLynmouth，andfartherupthecoast，whichwasnowbecomingaplaceofresortforthefolkwhomwecallsmugglers，thatistosay，wholandtheirgoodswithoutregardtoKing’srevenueasbylawestablished。Andindeedtherehadbeennoofficerappointedtotaketoll，untilonehadbeensenttoMinehead，notsoverylongbefore。TheexciseaswellwhichhadbeenorderedinthetimeoftheLongParliamenthadbeenlittleheededbythepeoplehereabouts。
Second，hisdutywasthoughonlytheDooneshaddiscoveredittowatchthoseoutlawsnarrowly，andreportoftheirmannerswhichwerescanty，doingswhichweretoomanifold，reputationwhichwasexecrable，andpolitics，whethertruetotheKingandthePope，orotherwise。
JeremyStickles’thirdbusinesswasentirelypolitical；
tolearnthetemperofourpeopleandthegentlefamilies，towatchthemovementsofthetrainedbandswhichcouldnotalwaysbetrusted，todiscoveranycollectingofarmsanddrillingofmenamongus，topreventifneedwere，byopenforceanyimportationofgunpowder，ofwhichtherehadbeensomerumour；inaword，toobserveandforestalltheenemy。
Nowinprovidingforthislast-mentionedservice，theGovernmenthadmadeagreatmistake，doubtlessthroughtheiranxietytoescapeanypublicattention。Forallthedisposableforceattheiremissary’scommandamountedtonomorethanascoreofmusketeers，andthesesodividedalongthecoastasscarcelytosufficeforthedutyofsentinels。Heheldacommission，itistrue，fortheemploymentofthetrain-bands，butupontheunderstandingthathewasnottocalluponthemexceptasalastresource，foranypoliticalobject；
althoughhemightusethemagainsttheDoonesasprivatecriminals，iffoundneedful；andsupposingthathecouldgetthem。
’Soyousee，John，’hesaidinconclusion，’Ihavemoreworkthantoolstodoitwith。IamheartilysorryI
everacceptedsuchamixedandmeagrecommission。AtthebottomofitliesIamwellconvincednotonlythedesiretokeepthingsquiet，butthepaltryjealousyofthemilitarypeople。BecauseIamnotaColonel，forsooth，oraCaptaininHisMajesty’sservice，itwouldneverdototrustmewithacompanyofsoldiers!AndyettheywouldnotsendeitherColonelorCaptain，forfearofastirintherusticmind。TheonlythingthatIcandowithanychanceofsuccess，istoroutoutthesevileDoonefellows，andburntheirhousesovertheirheads。Nowwhatthinkyouofthat，JohnRidd？’
’DestroythetownoftheDoones，’Isaid，’andalltheDoonesinsideit!Surely，Jeremy，youwouldneverthinkofsuchacruelactasthat!’
’Acruelact，John!Itwouldbeamercyforatleastthreecounties。Nodoubtyoufolk，wholivesonear，arewellaccustomedtothem，andwouldmissyourlivelinessincominghomeafternightfall，andthejoyoffindingyoursheepandcattleright，whenyounotexpectedit。Butafterawhileyoumightgetusedtothedullnessofbeingsafeinyourbeds，andnotlosingyoursistersandsweethearts。Surely，onthewhole，itisaspleasantnottoberobbedastoberobbed。’
’Ithinkweshouldmissthemverymuch，’Iansweredafterconsideration；forthepossibilityofhavingnoDooneshadneveryetoccurredtome，andweallweresothoroughlyusedtothem，andallowedforitinouryear’sreckoning；’Iamsureweshouldmissthemverysadly；andsomethingworsewouldcomeofit。’
’ThouartthestaunchestofallstaunchTories，’criedStickles，laughing，asheshookmyhand；’thoubelievestinthedivinerightofrobbers，whoaregoodenoughtostealthyownfatsheep。IamajollyTory，John，butthouarttentimesjollier：oh!thegriefinthyfaceatthethoughtofbeingrobbednolonger!’
Helaughedinaveryunseemlymanner；whileIdescriednothingtolaughabout。Forwealwaysliketoseeourway；andasuddenchangeupsetsus。Andunlessitwereinthelossofthefarm，orthedeathoftheKing，orofBettyMuxworthy，therewasnothingthatcouldsounsettleourmindsasthelossoftheDoonesofBagworthy。
Andbesideallthis，Iwasthinking，ofcourse，andthinkingmorethanalltherest，aboutthetroublesthatmightensuetomyownbelovedLorna。IfanattackofGlenDooneweremadebysavagesoldiersandrudetrain-bands，whatmighthappen，orwhatmightnot，tomydelicate，innocentdarling？Therefore，whenJeremySticklesagainplacedthematterbeforeme，commendingmystrengthandcourageandskilltoflattermeofthehighest，andfinishedbysayingthatIwouldbeworthatleastfourcommonmentohim，Icuthimshortasfollows：——
’MasterStickles，onceforall，Iwillhavenaughttodowithit。Thereasonwhyisnooddsofthine，norinanywaydisloyal。OnlyinthyplansrememberthatI
willnotstrikeablow，neithergiveanycounsel，neitherguardanyprisoners。’
’Notstrikeablow，’criedJeremy，’againstthyfather’smurderers，John!’
’Notasingleblow，Jeremy；unlessIknewthemanwhodidit，andhegloriedinhissin。Itwasafoulanddastarddeed，yetnotdoneincoldblood；neitherincoldbloodwillItakeGod’staskofavengingit。’
’Verywell，John，’answeredMasterStickles，’Iknowthineobstinacy。Whenthymindismadeup，toarguewiththeeispeltingarockwithpeppercorns。Butthouhastsomeotherreason，lad，unlessIammuchmistaken，overandabovethymercifulnatureandChristianforgiveness。Anyhow，comeandseeit，John。Therewillbegoodsport，Ireckon；especiallywhenwethrustourclawsintothenestoftheravens。Manyayeomanwillfindhisdaughter，andsomeofthePorlockladstheirsweethearts。Aniceyoungmaiden，now，forthee，John；ifindeed，any——’
’Nomoreofthis!’Iansweredverysternly：’itisnobusinessofthine，Jeremy；andIwillhavenojokinguponthismatter。’
’Good，mylord；sobeit。ButonethingItelltheeinearnest。Wewillhavethyolddouble-dealinguncle，HuckabackofDulverton，andmarchhimfirsttoassaultDooneCastle，sureasmynameisStickles。Ihearthathehathoftenvowedtostormthevalleyhimself，ifonlyhecouldfindadozenmusketeerstobackhim。
Now，wewillgivehimchancetodoit，andprovehisloyaltytotheKing，whichliesundersomesuspicionoflate。’
Withregardtothis，Ihadnothingtosay；foritseemedtomeveryreasonablethatUncleReubenshouldhavefirstchanceofrecoveringhisstolengoods，aboutwhichhehadmadesuchasadto-do，andpromisedhimselfsuchvengeance。Imadebold，however，toaskMasterSticklesatwhattimeheintendedtocarryoutthisgreatandhazardousattempt。Heansweredthathehadseveralthingsrequiringfirsttobesetinorder，andthathemustmakeaninlandJourney，evenasfarasTiverton，andperhapsCreditonandExeter，tocollecthisforcesandammunitionforthem。Forhemeanttohavesomeoftheyeomanryaswellasofthetrainedbands，sothatiftheDoonesshouldsallyforth，asperhapstheywould，onhorseback，cavalrymightbetheretomeetthem，andcutthemofffromreturning。
Allthismademeveryuncomfortable，formanyandmanyreasons，thechiefandforemostbeingofcoursemyanxietyaboutLorna。Iftheattacksucceeded，whatwastobecomeofher？Whowouldrescueherfromthebrutalsoldiers，evensupposingthatsheescapedfromthehandsofherownpeople，duringthedangerandferocity？Andinsmallerways，Iwasmuchputout；forinstance，whowouldensureourcorn-ricks，sheep，andcattle，ay，andevenourfatpigs，nowcomingonforbacon，againstthespreadingalloverthecountryofunlicensedmarauders？TheDooneshadtheirrights，andunderstoodthem，andtookthemaccordingtoprescription，evenastheparsonshad，andthelordsofmanors，andtheKinghimself，Godsavehim!Buthowweretheselowsoldieringfellowshalf-starvedathomeverylikely，andonlytoogladofthefatoftheland，andready，accordingtoourproverb，toburnthepapertheyfriedin，whoweretheytocomehectoringandheroingoverus，andHeliogabalising，withourprettysisterstocookforthem，andbechuckedunderchinperhapsafterwards？ThereisnothingEnglandhatessomuch，accordingtomysenseofit，asthatfellowstakenfromplough-tail，cart-tail，pot-housesandparish-stocks，shouldbehoistedandfoisteduponusafterafewmonths’drilling，andtheirlyingshapedintotrucklingasdefendersofthepublicweal，andheroesoftheuniverse。
InanotherwayIwasvexed，moreover——forafterallwemustconsidertheopinionsofourneighbours——namely，thatIknewquitewellhoweverybodyfortenmilesroundformyfamemusthavebeenatleastthatwide，afterallmywrestling，wouldliftuphandsandcryoutthus——’BlackshameonJohnRidd，ifheletsthemgowithouthim!’
Puttingallthesethingstogether，aswellasmanyothers，whichourownwitswillsuggesttoyou，itisimpossiblebutwhatyouwillfreelyacknowledgethatthisunfortunateJohnRiddwasnowinaclovenstick。
TherewasLorna，myloveandlife，boundbyherdutytothatoldvil——nay，Imeantohergoodgrandfather，whocouldnowdolittlemischief，andthereforedeservedallpraise——Lornabound，atanyrate，byherwomanlyfeelings，ifnotbysenseofduty，toremaininthethickdanger，withnobodytoprotecther，buteverybodytocovether，forbeautyandposition。Herewasallthecountryrousedwithviolentexcitement，atthechanceofsnappingattheDoones；andnotonlygettingtitfortat；buteveryyoungmanpromisinghissweetheartagoldchain，andhismotheratleastashilling。Andherewasourownmow-yard，betterfilledthanwecouldremember，andperhapseverysheafinitdestinedtobeburnedorstolen，beforewehadfinishedthebreadwehadbaked。
Amongallthesetroubles，therewas，however，orseemedtobe，onecomfort。TomFaggusreturnedfromLondonveryproudlyandveryhappily，witharoyalpardoninblackandwhite，whicheverybodyadmiredthemore，becausenoonecouldreadawordofit。TheSquirehimselfacknowledgedcheerfullythathecouldsoonertakefiftypursesthanreadasinglelineofit。SomepeopleindeedwentsofarastosaythattheparchmentwasmadefromasheepTomhadstolen，andthatwaswhyitprevaricatedsoingivinghimacharacter。ButI，knowingsomethingbythistime，oflawyers，wasabletocontradictthem；affirmingthatthewolfhadmorethanthesheeptodowiththismatter。
For，accordingtoouroldsaying，thethreelearnedprofessionslivebyrogueryonthethreepartsofaman。Thedoctormaulsourbodies；theparsonstarvesoursouls，butthelawyermustbetheadroitestknave，forhehastoensnareourminds。Thereforehetakesacarefuldelightincoveringhistrapsandengineswithaspreadofdead-leafwords，whereofhimselfknowslittlemorethanhalfthewaytospellthem。
ButnowTomFaggus，althoughhavingwittogallopawayonhisstrawberrymare，withthespeedofterror，fromlawyershavingpaidthemwithmoneytoohonesttostop，yetfellintoarecklessadventure，ereeverhecamehome，fromwhichanylawyerwouldhavesavedhim，althoughheoughttohaveneedednonebeyondcommonthoughtfordearAnnie。NowIam，andeverhavebeen，sovexedaboutthisstorythatIcannottellitpleasantlyasItrytowriteingeneralinmyownwordsandmanner。ThereforeIwillletJohnFrywhomIhaverobbedofanotherstory，towhichhewasmoreentitled，andwhomIhaverobbedofmanyspeecheswhichhethoughtveryexcellent，lestIshouldgrieveanyonewithhislackofeducation，——thelastlackheeverfelt，bythebye，nowwithyourgoodleave，I
willallowpoorJohntotellthistale，inhisownwordsandstyle；whichhehasaperfectrighttodo，havingbeenthefirsttotellus。ForSquireFagguskeptitclose；nottrustingevenAnniewithitoratleastshesaidso；becausenomanknowsmuchofhissweetheart’stongue，untilshehasbornehimachildortwo。
OnlybeforeJohnbeginshisstory，thisIwouldsay，indutytohim，andincommonhonesty，——thatIdarenotwritedownsomefewofhiswords，becausetheyarenotconvenient，fordialectorothercauses；andthatI
cannotfindanywayofspellingmanyofthewordswhichIdorepeat，sothatpeople，notbornonExmoor，mayknowhowhepronouncedthem；eveniftheycouldbringtheirlipsandtheirlegstotheproperattitude。AndinthisIspeakadvisedly；havingobservedsomethousandtimesthatthemanneramanhasofspreadinghislegs，andbendinghisknees，orstiffening，andeventhewayhewillsethisheel，makeallthedifferenceinhistone，andtimeofcastinghisvoicearight，andpowerofcominghometoyou。
WealwayslikedJohn’sstories，notforanywitinthem；butbecausewelaughedattheman，ratherthanthematter。Thewayheheldhisheadwasenough，withhischinfixedhardlikeacertaintyespeciallyduringhisbiggestlie，notasignofasmileinhislipsornose，butapowerofnotlaughing；andhiseyesnotturningtoanybody，unlesssomebodyhadtoomuchofitasyounggirlsalwaysdoandwentoverthebrinkoflaughter。ThereuponitwasgoodtoseeJohnFry；howhelookedgravelyfirstatthelaughter，asmuchastoask，’Whatisitnow？’thenifthefoolwentlaughingmore，asheorshewassuretodouponthatdryinquiry，Johnwouldlookagain，tobesureofit，andthenatsomebodyelsetolearnwhetherthelaughhadcompany；thenifhegotanothergrin，allhismirthcameoutinglory，withasuddenbreak；andhewipedhislips，andwasgraveagain。