hadneverseenJimlooksograve，soself-possessed，inanimpenetrable，impressiveway。Inthemidstofthesedark-facedmen，hisstalwartfigureinwhiteapparel，thegleamingclustersofhisfairhair，seemedtocatchallthesunshinethattrickledthroughthecracksintheclosedshuttersofthatdimhall，withitswallsofmatsandaroofofthatch。Heappearedlikeacreaturenotonlyofanotherkindbutofanotheressence。Hadtheynotseenhimcomeupinacanoetheymighthavethoughthehaddescendeduponthemfromtheclouds。Hedid，however，comeinacrazydug-out，sittingverystillandwithhiskneestogether，forfearofoverturningthething——sittingonatinbox——whichIhadlenthim——nursingonhislaparevolveroftheNavypattern——presentedbymeonparting——which，throughaninterpositionofProvidence，orthroughsomewrong-headednotion，thatwasjustlikehim，orelsefromsheerinstinctivesagacity，hehaddecidedtocarryunloaded。
That’showheascendedthePatusanriver。Nothingcouldhavebeenmoreprosaicandmoreunsafe，moreextravagantlycasual，morelonely。Strange，thisfatalitythatwouldcastthecomplexionofaflightuponallhisacts，ofimpulsiveunreflectingdesertion——ofajumpintotheunknown。
`Itispreciselythecasualnessofitthatstrikesmemost。NeitherSteinnorIhadaclearconceptionofwhatmightbeontheothersidewhenwe，metaphoricallyspeaking，tookhimupandhovehimoverthewallwithscantceremony。AtthemomentImerelywishedtoachievehisdisappearance。
Steincharacteristicallyenoughhadasentimentalmotive。Hehadanotionofpayingoffinkind，Isupposetheolddebthehadneverforgotten。
IndeedhehadbeenallhislifeespeciallyfriendlytoanybodyfromtheBritishIsles。Hislatebenefactor，itistrue，wasaScot——eventothelengthofbeingcalledAlexanderM’Neil——andJimcamefromalongwaysouthoftheTweed；butatthedistanceofsixorseventhousandmilesGreatBritain，thoughneverdiminished，looksforeshortenedenougheventoitsownchildrentorobsuchdetailsoftheirimportance。Steinwasexcusable，andhishintedintentionsweresogenerousthatIbeggedhimmostearnestlytokeepthemsecretforatime。IfeltthatnoconsiderationofpersonaladvantageshouldbeallowedtoinfluenceJim；thatnoteventheriskofsuchinfluenceshouldberun。Wehadtodealwithanothersortofreality。
Hewantedarefuge，andarefugeatthecostofdangershouldbeofferedhim——nothingmore。
`UponeveryotherpointIwasperfectlyfrankwithhim，andIevenasIbelievedatthetimeexaggeratedthedangeroftheundertaking。AsamatteroffactIdidnotdoitjustice；hisfirstdayinPatusanwasnearlyhislast——wouldhavebeenhislastifhehadnotbeensorecklessorsohardonhimselfandhadcondescendedtoloadthatrevolver。Iremember，asIunfoldedourpreciousschemeforhisretreat，howhisstubbornbutwearyresignationwasgraduallyreplacedbysurprise，interest，wonder，andbyboyisheagerness。Thiswasachancehehadbeendreamingof。Hecouldn’tthinkhowhemeritedthatI……Hewouldbeshotifhecouldseetowhatheowed……AnditwasStein，Steinthemerchant，who……butofcourseitwasmehehadto……Icuthimshort。Hewasnotarticulate，andhisgratitudecausedmeinexplicablepain。Itoldhimthatifheowedthischancetoanyoneespecially，itwastoanoldScotofwhomhehadneverheard，whohaddiedmanyyearsago，ofwhomlittlewasrememberedbesidesaroaringvoiceandaroughsortofhonesty。Therewasreallynoonetoreceivehisthanks。Steinwaspassingontoayoungmanthehelphehadreceivedinhisownyoungdays，andIhaddonenomorethantomentionhisname。Uponthishecoloured，and，twistingabitofpaperinhisfingers，heremarkedbashfullythatIhadalwaystrustedhim。
`Iadmittedthatsuchwasthecase，andaddedafterapausethatIwishedhehadbeenabletofollowmyexample。“YouthinkIdon’t？“heaskeduneasily，andremarkedinamutterthatonehadtogetsomesortofshowfirst；thenbrighteningup，andinaloudvoice，heprotestedhewouldgivemenooccasiontoregretmyconfidence，which——which……
“`Donotmisapprehend，“Iinterrupted。“Itisnotinyourpowertomakemeregretanything。“Therewouldbenoregrets；butiftherewere，itwouldbealtogethermyownaffair：ontheotherhand，Iwishedhimtounderstandclearlythatthisarrangement，this——this——experiment，washisowndoing；
hewasresponsibleforitandnooneelse。“Why!Why，“hestammered，“thisistheverythingthatI……“Ibeggedhimnottobedense，andhelookedmorepuzzledthanever。Hewasinafairwaytomakelifeintolerabletohimself……“Doyouthinkso？“heasked，disturbed；butinamomentaddedconfidently，“Iwasgoingon，though。WasInot？“Itwasimpossibletobeangrywithhim：Icouldnothelpasmile，andtoldhimthatintheolddayspeoplewhowentonlikethiswereonthewayofbecominghermitsinawilderness。“Hermitsbehanged!“hecommentedwithengagingimpulsiveness。
Ofcoursehedidn’tmindawilderness……Iwasgladofit，Isaid。
Thatwaswherehewouldbegoingto。Hewouldfinditlivelyenough，I
venturedtopromise。“Yes，yes，“hesaid，keenly。Hehadshownadesire，Icontinuedinflexibly，togooutandshutthedoorafterhim……“DidI？“heinterruptedinastrangeaccessofgloomthatseemedtoenvelophimfromheadtofootliketheshadowofapassingcloud。Hewaswonderfullyexpressiveafterall。Wonderfully!“DidI？“herepeated，bitterly。“Youcan’tsayImademuchnoiseaboutit。AndIcankeepitup，too——only，confoundit!youshowmeadoor。“……“Verywell。Passon，“Istruckin。Icouldmakehimasolemnpromisethatitwouldbeshutbehindhimwithavengeance。Hisfate，whateveritwas，wouldbeignored，becausethecountry，forallitsrottenstate，wasnotjudgedripeforinterference。
Oncehegotin，itwouldbefortheoutsideworldasthoughhehadneverexisted。Hewouldhavenothingbutthesolesofhistwofeettostandupon，andhewouldhavefirsttofindhisgroundatthat。“Neverexisted——that’sit，byJove!“hemurmuredtohimself。Hiseyes，fasteneduponmylips，sparkled。Ifhehadthoroughlyunderstoodtheconditions，Iconcluded，hehadbetterjumpintothefirstgharryhecouldseeanddriveontoStein’shouseforhisfinalinstructions。HeflungoutoftheroombeforeIhadfairlyfinishedspeaking。’
LordJim：Chapter23CHAPTERXXIII`HEdidnotreturntillnextmorning。Hehadbeenkepttodinnerandforthenight。ThereneverhadbeensuchawonderfulmanasMr。Stein。HehadinhispocketaletterforCornelius“theJohnniewho’sgoingtogetthesack，“heexplainedwithamomentarydropinhiselation，andheexhibitedwithgleeasilverring，suchasnativesuse，worndownverythinandshowingfainttracesofchasing。
`ThiswashisintroductiontoanoldchapcalledDoramin——oneoftheprincipalmenoutthere——abigpot——whohadbeenMr。Stein’sfriendinthatcountrywherehehadalltheseadventures。Mr。Steincalledhim“war-comrade。“
War-comradewasgood。Wasn’tit？Anddidn’tMr。SteinspeakEnglishwonderfullywell？SaidhehadlearneditinCelebes——ofallplaces!Thatwasawfullyfunny。Wasitnot？Hedidspeakwithanaccent——atwang——didInotice？
ThatchapDoraminhadgivenhimthering。Theyhadexchangedpresentswhentheypartedforthelasttime。Sortofpromisingeternalfriendship。Hecalleditfine——didInot？TheyhadtomakeadashfordearlifeoutofthecountrywhenthatMohammed——Mohammed——What’s-his-namehadbeenkilled。
Iknewthestory，ofcourse。Seemedabeastlyshame，didn’tit？……
`Heranonlikethis，forgettinghisplate，withaknifeandforkinhandhehadfoundmeattiffin，slightlyflushed，andwithhiseyesdarkenedmanyshades，whichwaswithhimasignofexcitement。Theringwasasortofcredential——“It’slikesomethingyoureadofinbooks，“hethrewinappreciativelyandDoraminwoulddohisbestforhim。Mr。Steinhadbeenthemeansofsavingthatchap’slifeonsomeoccasion；purelybyaccident，Mr。Steinhadsaid，buthe——Jim——hadhisownopinionaboutthat。Mr。Steinwasjustthemantolookoutforsuchaccidents。Nomatter。Accidentorpurpose，thiswouldservehisturnimmensely。Hopedtogoodnessthejollyoldbeggarhadnotgoneoffthehooksmeantime。Mr。Steincouldnottell。
Therehadbeennonewsformorethanayear；theywerekickingupnoendofanall-firedrowamongstthemselves，andtheriverwasclosed。Jollyawkward，this；but，nofear；hewouldmanagetofindacracktogetin。
`Heimpressed，almostfrightened，mewithhiselatedrattle。Hewasvolublelikeayoungsterontheeveofalongholidaywithaprospectofdelightfulscrapes，andsuchanattitudeofmindinagrownmanandinthisconnectionhadinitsomethingphenomenal，alittlemad，dangerous，unsafe。Iwasonthepointofentreatinghimtotakethingsseriouslywhenhedroppedhisknifeandforkhehadbeguneating，orratherswallowingfood，asitwere，unconsciously，andbeganasearchallroundhisplate。
Thering!Thering!Wherethedevil……Ah!Hereitwas……Heclosedhisbighandonit，andtriedallhispocketsoneafteranother。Jove!
wouldn’tdotolosethething。Hemeditatedgravelyoverhisfist。Hadit!Wouldhangtheballyaffairroundhisneck!Andheproceededtodothisimmediately，producingastringwhichlookedlikeabitofacottonshoe-laceforthepurpose。There!Thatwoulddothetrick!Itwouldbethedeuceif……Heseemedtocatchsightofmyfaceforthefirsttime，anditsteadiedhimalittle。Iprobablydidn’trealize，hesaidwithanaivegravity，howmuchimportanceheattachedtothattoken。Itmeantafriend；anditisagoodthingtohaveafriend。Heknewsomethingaboutthat。Henoddedatmeexpressively，butbeforemydisclaiminggestureheleanedhisheadonhishandandforawhilesatsilent，playingthoughtfullywiththebread-crumbsonthecloth……“Slamthedoor——thatwasjollywellput，“hecried，andjumpingup，begantopacetheroom，remindingmebythesetoftheshoulders，theturnofhishead，thehead-longandunevenstride，ofthatnightwhenhehadpacedthus，confessing，explaining——whatyouwill——but，inthelastinstance，living——livingbeforeme，underhisownlittlecloud，withallhisunconscioussubtletywhichcoulddrawconsolationfromtheverysourceofsorrow。Itwasthesamemood，thesameanddifferent，likeaficklecompanionthatto-dayguidingyouonthetruepath，withthesameeyes，thesamestep，thesameimpulse，to-morrowwillleadyouhopelesslyastray。Histreadwasassured，hisstraying，darkenedeyesseemedtosearchtheroomforsomething。Oneofhisfootfallssomehowsoundedlouderthantheother——thefaultofhisbootsprobably——andgaveacuriousimpressionofaninvisiblehaltinhisgait。Oneofhishandswasrammeddeepintohistrousers-pocket，theotherwavedsuddenlyabovehishead。
“Slamthedoor!“heshouted。“I’vebeenwaitingforthat。I’llshowyet……I’ll……I’mreadyforanyconfoundedthing……I’vebeendreamingofit……Jove!Getoutofthis。Jove!Thisisluckatlast……Youwait。I’ll……“
`Hetossedhisheadfearlessly，andIconfessthatforthefirstandlasttimeinouracquaintanceIperceivedmyselfunexpectedlytobethoroughlysickofhim。Whythesevapourings？Hewasstumpingabouttheroomflourishinghisarmsabsurdly，andnowandthenfeelingonhisbreastfortheringunderhisclothes。Wherewasthesenseofsuchexaltationinamanappointedtobeatrading-clerk，andinaplacewheretherewasnotrade——atthat？
Whyhurldefianceattheuniverse？Thiswasnotaproperframeofmindtoapproachanyundertaking；animproperframeofmindnotonlyforhim，Isaid，butforanyman。Hestoodstilloverme。DidIthinkso？heasked，bynomeanssubdued，andwithasmileinwhichIseemedtodetectsomethinginsolent。ButthenIamtwentyyearshissenior。Youthisinsolent；
itisitsright——itsnecessity；ithasgottoassertitself，andallassertioninthisworldofdoubtsisadefiance，isaninsolence。Hewentoffintoafarcorner，andcomingback，he，figurativelyspeaking，turnedtorendme。IspokelikethatbecauseI——evenI，whohadbeennoendkindtohim——evenIremembered——remembered——againsthim——what——whathadhappened。Andwhataboutothers——the——the——world？Where’sthewonderhewantedtogetout，meanttogetout，meanttostayout——byheavens!AndItalkedaboutproperframesofmind!
“`ItisnotIortheworldwhoremember，“Ishouted。“Itisyou——you，whoremember。“
`Hedidnotflinch，andwentonwithheat，“Forgeteverything，everybody，everybody。“……Hisvoicefell……“Butyou，“headded。
“`Yes——me，too——ifitwouldhelp，“Isaid，alsoinalowtone。Afterthisweremainedsilentandlanguidforatimeasifexhausted。Thenhebeganagain，composedly，andtoldmethatMr。Steinhadinstructedhimtowaitforamonthorso，toseewhetheritwaspossibleforhimtoremain，beforehebeganbuildinganewhouseforhimself，soastoavoid“vainexpense。“Hedidmakeuseoffunnyexpressions——Steindid。“Vainexpense“
wasgood……Remain？Why!ofcourse。Hewouldhangon。Lethimgetin——that’sall；hewouldanswerforithewouldremain。Nevergetout。Itwaseasyenoughtoremain。
“`Don’tbefoolhardy，“Isaid，rendereduneasybyhisthreateningtone。
“Ifyouonlylivelongenoughyouwillwanttocomeback。“
“`Comebacktowhat？“heasked，absently，withhiseyesfixeduponthefaceofaclockonthewall。