第20章
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  Thesightfairlymademesick。Buttheyevidentlyexpectedsomerecognition,soIwavedmyarmsinastrikingsortofnon-committalmanner。AndthenIturnedandstalkedontowardsthetreesagain。

  AtthattimeIwasprayinglikemad,Iremember,overandoveragain:

  ’Lordhelpmethroughwithit!Lordhelpmethroughwithit!’It’sonlyfoolswhoknownothingofdangerscanaffordtolaughatpraying。

  “Buttheseniggersweren’tgoingtoletmewalkthroughandawaylikethat。Theystartedakindofbowingdanceaboutme,andsortofpressedmetotakeapathwaythatlaythroughthetrees。Itwascleartometheydidn’ttakemeforaBritishcitizen,whateverelsetheythoughtofme,andformyownpartIwasneverlessanxioustoownuptotheoldcountry。

  “You’dhardlybelieveit,perhaps,unlessyou’refamiliarwithsavages,butthesepoormisguided,ignorantcreaturestookmestraighttotheirkindofjossplacetopresentmetotheblessedoldblackstonethere。BythistimeIwasbeginningtosortofrealisethedepthoftheirignorance,anddirectlyIseteyesonthisdeityItookmycue。Istartedabaritonehowl,’wow-wow,’verylongononenote,andbeganwavingmyarmsaboutalot,andthenveryslowlyandceremoniouslyturnedtheirimageoveronitssideandsatdownonit。Iwantedtositdownbadly,fordiving-dressesain’tmuchwearinthetropics。Or,toputitdifferentlike,they’reasighttoomuch。Ittookawaytheirbreath,Icouldsee,mysittingontheirjoss,butinlesstimethanaminutetheymadeuptheirmindsandwerehardatworkworshippingme。AndIcantellyouIfeltabitrelievedtoseethingsturningoutsowell,inspiteoftheweightonmyshouldersandfeet。

  “Butwhatmademeanxiouswaswhatthechapsinthecanoesmightthinkwhentheycameback。Ifthey’dseenmeintheboatbeforeIwentdown,andwithoutthehelmeton——fortheymighthavebeenspyingandhidingsinceovernight——theywouldverylikelytakeadifferentviewfromtheothers。Iwasinadeuceofastewaboutthatforhours,asitseemed,untiltheshindyofthearrivalbegan。

  “Buttheytookitdown——thewholeblessedvillagetookitdown。

  Atthecostofsittingupstiffandstern,asmuchlikethosesittingEgyptianimagesoneseesasIcouldmanage,forprettynearlytwelvehours,Ishouldguessatleast,onend,Igotoverit。You’dhardlythinkwhatitmeantinthatheatandstink。Idon’tthinkanyofthemdreamtofthemaninside。Iwasjustawonderfulleatherygreatjossthathadcomeupwithluckoutofthewater。Butthefatigue!

  theheat!thebeastlycloseness!themackintosherinessandtherum!

  andthefuss!Theylitastinkingfireonakindoflavaslabtherewasbeforeme,andbroughtinalotofgorymuck——theworstpartsofwhattheywerefeastingonoutside,theBeasts——andburntitallinmyhonour。Iwasgettingabithungry,butIunderstandnowhowgodsmanagetodowithouteating,whatwiththesmellofburntofferingsaboutthem。Andtheybroughtinalotofthestuffthey’dgotoffthebrigand,amongotherstuff,whatIwasabitrelievedtosee,thekindofpneumaticpumpthatwasusedforthecompressedairaffair,andthenalotofchapsandgirlscameinanddancedaboutmesomethingdisgraceful。It’sextraordinarythedifferentwaysdifferentpeoplehaveofshowingrespect。IfI’dhadahatchethandyI’dhavegoneforthelotofthem——theymademefeelthatwild。

  AllthistimeIsatasstiffascompany,notknowinganythingbettertodo。Andatlast,whennightfallcame,andthewattlejoss-houseplacegotabittooshadowyfortheirtaste——alltheseheresavagesareafraidofthedark,youknow——andIstartedasortof’Moo’noise,theybuiltbigbonfiresoutsideandleftmealoneinpeaceinthedarknessofmyhut,freetounscrewmywindowsabitandthinkthingsover,andfeeljustasbadasIliked。And,Lord!Iwassick。

  “Iwasweakandhungry,andmymindkeptonbehavinglikeabeetleonapin,tremendousactivityandnothingdoneattheendofit。

  Comeroundjustwhereitwasbefore。Therewassorrowingfortheotherchaps,beastlydrunkardscertainly,butnotdeservingsuchafate,andyoungSanderswiththespearthroughhisneckwouldn’tgooutofmymind。TherewasthetreasuredownthereintheOceanPioneer,andhowonemightgetitandhideitsomewheresafer,andgetawayandcomebackforit。Andtherewasthepuzzlewheretogetanythingtoeat。ItellyouIwasfairrambling。Iwasafraidtoaskbysignsforfood,forfearofbehavingtoohuman,andsothereIsatandhungereduntilverynearthedawn。Thenthevillagegotabitquiet,andIcouldn’tstanditanylonger,andIwentoutandgotsomestufflikeartichokesinabowlandsomesourmilk。WhatwasleftoftheseIputawayamongtheotherofferings,justtogivethemahintofmytastes。Andinthemorningtheycametoworship,andfoundmesittingupstiffandrespectableontheirpreviousgod,justasthey’dleftmeovernight。I’dgotmybackagainstthecentralpillarofthehut,and,practically,Iwasasleep。Andthat’showIbecameagodamongtheheathen——afalsegodnodoubt,andblasphemous,butonecan’talwayspickandchoose。

  “Now,Idon’twanttocrackmyselfupasagodbeyondmymerits,butImustconfessthatwhileIwasgodtothesepeopletheywasextraordinarysuccessful。Idon’tsaythere’sanythinginit,mindyou。Theywonabattlewithanothertribe——IgotalotofofferingsIdidn’twantthroughit——theyhadwonderfulfishing,andtheircropofpourrawasexceptionalfine。AndtheycountedthecaptureofthebrigamongthebenefitsIbrought’em。ImustsayIdon’tthinkthatwasapoorrecordforaperfectlynewhand。

  And,thoughperhapsyou’dscarcelycreditit,Iwasthetribalgodofthosebeastlysavagesforprettynearlyfourmonths……

  “WhatelsecouldIdo,man?ButIdidn’twearthatdiving-dressallthetime。Imade’emrigmeupasortofholyofholies,andadeuceofatimeIhadtoo,makingthemunderstandwhatitwasIwantedthemtodo。Thatindeedwasthegreatdifficulty——makingthemunderstandmywishes。Icouldn’tletmyselfdownbytalkingtheirlingobadly——evenifI’dbeenabletospeakatall——andIcouldn’tgoflappingalotofgesturesatthem。SoIdrewpicturesinsandandsatdownbesidethemandhootedlikeoneo’clock。SometimestheydidthethingsIwantedallright,andsometimestheydidthemallwrong。Theywasalwaysverywilling,certainly。AllthewhileIwaspuzzlinghowIwastogettheconfoundedbusinesssettled。

  EverynightbeforethedawnIusedtomarchoutinfullrigandgoofftoaplacewhereIcouldseethechannelinwhichtheOceanPioneerlaysunk,andonceeven,onemoonlightnight,Itriedtowalkouttoher,buttheweedsandrocksanddarkcleanbeatme。Ididn’tgetbacktillfullday,andthenIfoundallthosesillyniggersoutonthebeachprayingtheirsea-godtoreturntothem。Iwasthatvexedandtired,messingandtumblingabout,andcomingupandgoingdownagain,Icouldhavepunchedtheirsillyheadsallroundwhentheystartedrejoicing。I’mhangedifIlikesomuchceremony。

  “Andthencamethemissionary。Thatmissionary!Itwasintheafternoon,andIwassittinginstateinmyoutertempleplace,sittingonthatoldblackstoneoftheirswhenhecame。Iheardarowoutsideandjabbering,andthenhisvoicespeakingtoaninterpreter。

  ’Theyworshipstocksandstones,’hesaid,andIknewwhatwasup,inaflash。Ihadoneofmywindowsoutforcomfort,andIsangoutstraightawayonthespurofthemoment。’Stocksandstones!’Isays。

  ’Youcomeinside,’Isays,’andI’llpunchyourbloominghead。’

  Therewasakindofsilenceandmorejabbering,andinhecame,Bibleinhand,afterthemannerofthem——alittlesandychapinspecksandapithhelmet。Iflattermyselfthatmesittingthereintheshadows,withmycopperheadandmybiggoggles,struckhimabitofaheapatfirst。’Well,’Isays,’how’sthetradeincalico?’

  forIdon’tholdwithmissionaries。

  “Ihadalarkwiththatmissionary。Hewasarawhand,andquiteoutclassedwithamanlikeme。HegaspedoutwhowasI,andItoldhimtoreadtheinscriptionatmyfeetifhewantedtoknow。Downhegoestoread,andhisinterpreter,beingofcourseassuperstitiousasanyofthem,tookitasanactofworshipandplumpeddownlikeashot。Allmypeoplegaveahowloftriumph,andtherewasn’tanymorebusinesstobedoneinmyvillageafterthatjourney,notbythelikesofhim。

  “But,ofcourse,Iwasafooltochokehimofflikethat。IfI’dhadanysenseIshouldhavetoldhimstraightawayofthetreasureandtakenhimintoCo。I’venodoubthe’dhavecomeintoCo。Achild,withafewhourstothinkitover,couldhaveseentheconnectionbetweenmydiving-dressandthelossoftheOceanPioneer。AweekafterheleftIwentoutonemorningandsawtheMotherhood,thesalver’sshipfromStarrRace,towingupthechannelandsounding。

  Thewholeblessedgamewasup,andallmytroublethrownaway。Gummy!

  HowwildIfelt!Andguyingitinthatstinkingsillydress!Fourmonths!“

  Thesunburntman’sstorydegeneratedagain。“Thinkofit,“hesaid,whenheemergedtolinguisticpurityoncemore。“Fortythousandpoundsworthofgold。“

  “Didthelittlemissionarycomeback?“Iasked。

  “Oh,yes!Blesshim!Andhepledgedhisreputationtherewasamaninsidethegod,andstartedouttoseeasmuchwithtremendousceremony。Buttherewasn’t——hegotsoldagain。Ialwaysdidhatescenesandexplanations,andlongbeforehecameIwasoutofitall——goinghometoBanyaalongthecoast,hidinginbushesbyday,andthievingfoodfromthevillagesbynight。Onlyweapon,aspear。

  Noclothes,nomoney。Nothing。Myfacewasmyfortune,asthesayingis。Andjustasqueakofeightthousandpoundsofgold——fifthshare。

  Butthenativescutuprusty,thankgoodness,becausetheythoughtitwashimhaddriventheirluckaway。“

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