第10章
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  Iwasquitesuddenlyangrywithhim。“Lookhere,“Isaid,“whotoldyouaboutmygreat-grandmother’srecipes?“

  “Well,“hefenced。

  “Everytimewe’vemetforaweek,“Isaid,“andwe’vemetprettyoften——you’vegivenmeabroadhintorsoaboutthatlittlesecretofmine。“

  “Well,“hesaid,“nowthecat’soutofthebag,I’lladmit,yes,itisso。Ihadit——“

  “FromPattison?“

  “Indirectly,“hesaid,whichIbelievewaslying,“yes。“

  “Pattison,“Isaid,“tookthatstuffathisownrisk。“

  Hepursedhismouthandbowed。

  “Mygreat-grandmother’srecipes,“Isaid,“arequeerthingstohandle。

  Myfatherwasnearmakingmepromise——“

  “Hedidn’t?“

  “No。Buthewarnedme。Hehimselfusedone——once。“

  “Ah!……Butdoyouthink——?Suppose——supposetheredidhappentobeone——“

  “Thethingsarecuriousdocuments,“Isaid。

  “Eventhesmellof’em……No!“

  ButaftergoingsofarPyecraftwasresolvedIshouldgofarther。

  IwasalwaysalittleafraidifItriedhispatiencetoomuchhewouldfallonmesuddenlyandsmotherme。IownIwasweak。ButIwasalsoannoyedwithPyecraft。Ihadgottothatstateoffeelingforhimthatdisposedmetosay,“Well,TAKEtherisk!“ThelittleaffairofPattisontowhichIhavealludedwasadifferentmatteraltogether。Whatitwasdoesn’tconcernusnow,butIknew,anyhow,thattheparticularrecipeIusedthenwassafe。TherestIdidn’tknowsomuchabout,and,onthewhole,Iwasinclinedtodoubttheirsafetyprettycompletely。

  YetevenifPyecraftgotpoisoned——

  ImustconfessthepoisoningofPyecraftstruckmeasanimmenseundertaking。

  ThateveningItookthatqueer,odd-scentedsandalwoodboxoutofmysafeandturnedtherustlingskinsover。Thegentlemanwhowrotetherecipesformygreat-grandmotherevidentlyhadaweaknessforskinsofamiscellaneousorigin,andhishandwritingwascrampedtothelastdegree。Someofthethingsarequiteunreadabletome——thoughmyfamily,withitsIndianCivilServiceassociations,haskeptupaknowledgeofHindustanifromgenerationtogeneration——andnoneareabsolutelyplainsailing。ButIfoundtheonethatIknewwastheresoonenough,andsatonthefloorbymysafeforsometimelookingatit。

  “Lookhere,“saidItoPyecraftnextday,andsnatchedtheslipawayfromhiseagergrasp。

  “SofarasI——canmakeitout,thisisarecipeforLossofWeight。

  “Ah!“saidPyecraft。I’mnotabsolutelysure,butIthinkit’sthat。

  Andifyoutakemyadviceyou’llleaveitalone。Because,youknow——

  Iblackenmybloodinyourinterest,Pyecraft——myancestorsonthatsidewere,sofarasIcangather,ajollyqueerlot。See?“

  “Letmetryit,“saidPyecraft。

  Ileantbackinmychair。Myimaginationmadeonemightyeffortandfellflatwithinme。“WhatinHeaven’sname,Pyecraft,“Iasked,“doyouthinkyou’lllooklikewhenyougetthin?“

  Hewasimpervioustoreason。Imadehimpromisenevertosayawordtomeabouthisdisgustingfatnessagainwhateverhappened——never,andthenIhandedhimthatlittlepieceofskin。

  “It’snastystuff,“Isaid。

  “Nomatter,“hesaid,andtookit。

  Hegoggledatit。“But——but——“hesaid。

  Hehadjustdiscoveredthatitwasn’tEnglish。

  “Tothebestofmyability,“Isaid,“Iwilldoyouatranslation。“

  Ididmybest。Afterthatwedidn’tspeakforafortnight。WheneverheapproachedmeIfrownedandmotionedhimaway,andherespectedourcompact,butattheendofafortnighthewasasfatasever。

  Andthenhegotawordin。

  “Imustspeak,“hesaid。“Itisn’tfair。There’ssomethingwrong。

  It’sdonemenogood。You’renotdoingyourgreat-grandmotherjustice。“

  “Where’stherecipe?“

  Heproduceditgingerlyfromhispocket-book。

  Iranmyeyeovertheitems。“Wastheeggaddled?“Iasked。

  “No。Oughtittohavebeen?“

  “That,“Isaid,“goeswithoutsayinginallmypoordeargreat-grandmother’srecipes。Whenconditionorqualityisnotspecifiedyoumustgettheworst。Shewasdrasticornothing……Andthere’soneortwopossiblealternativestosomeoftheseotherthings。YougotFRESH

  rattlesnakevenom。“

  “IgotarattlesnakefromJamrach’s。Itcost——itcost——“

  “That’syouraffair,anyhow。Thislastitem——“

  “Iknowamanwho——“

  “Yes。H’m。Well,I’llwritethealternativesdown。SofarasIknowthelanguage,thespellingofthisrecipeisparticularlyatrocious。

  By-the-bye,doghereprobablymeanspariahdog。“

  ForamonthafterthatIsawPyecraftconstantlyattheclubandasfatandanxiousasever。Hekeptourtreaty,butattimeshebrokethespiritofitbyshakinghisheaddespondently。Thenonedayinthecloakroomhesaid,“Yourgreat-grandmother——“

  “Notawordagainsther,“Isaid;andheheldhispeace。

  Icouldhavefanciedhehaddesisted,andIsawhimonedaytalkingtothreenewmembersabouthisfatnessasthoughhewasinsearchofotherrecipes。Andthen,quiteunexpectedly,histelegramcame。

  “Mr。Formalyn!“bawledapage-boyundermynose,andItookthetelegramandopeneditatonce。

  “ForHeaven’ssakecome——Pyecraft。“

  “H’m,“saidI,andtotellthetruthIwassopleasedattherehabilitationofmygreatgrandmother’sreputationthisevidentlypromisedthatImadeamostexcellentlunch。

  IgotPyecraft’saddressfromthehallporter。PyecraftinhabitedtheupperhalfofahouseinBloomsbury,andIwenttheresosoonasI

  haddonemycoffeeandTrappistine。Ididnotwaittofinishmycigar。

  “Mr。Pyecraft?“saidI,atthefrontdoor。

  Theybelievedhewasill;hehadn’tbeenoutfortwodays。

  “Heexpectsme,“saidI,andtheysentmeup。

  Irangthebellatthelattice-dooruponthelanding。

  “Heshouldn’thavetriedit,anyhow,“Isaidtomyself。“Amanwhoeatslikeapigoughttolooklikeapig。“

  Anobviouslyworthywoman,withananxiousfaceandacarelesslyplacedcap,cameandsurveyedmethroughthelattice。

  Igavemynameandsheletmeininadubiousfashion。

  “Well?“saidI,aswestoodtogetherinsidePyecraft’spieceofthelanding。

  “’Esaidyouwastocomeinifyoucame,“shesaid,andregardedme,makingnomotiontoshowmeanywhere。Andthen,confidentially,“’E’slockedin,sir。“

  “Lockedin?“

  “Lockedhimselfinyesterdaymorningand’asn’tletanyoneinsince,sir。AndeverandagainSWEARING。Oh,my!“

  Istaredatthedoorsheindicatedbyherglances。

  “Inthere?“Isaid。

  “Yes,sir。“

  “What’sup?“

  Sheshookherheadsadly,“’Ekeepsoncallingforvittles,sir。

  ’EAVYvittles’ewants。Iget’imwhatIcan。Pork’e’s’ad,sooitpuddin’,sossiges,noobread。Everythinklikethat。Leftoutside,ifyouplease,andmegoaway。’E’seatin’,sir,somethinkAWFUL。“

  Therecameapipingbawlfrominsidethedoor:“ThatFormalyn?“

  “Thatyou,Pyecraft?“Ishouted,andwentandbangedthedoor。

  “Tellhertogoaway。“

  Idid。

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