第17章
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  Thepoorwardengroanedashesatperfectlystill,lookingupatthehard-heartedoratorwhothustormentedhim,andthebishopechoedthesoundfaintlyfrombehindhishands;

  butthearchdeaconcaredlittleforsuchsignsofweakness,andcompletedhisexhortation。

  ’Butletussupposetheofficetobeleftvacant,andthatyourowntroublesconcerningitwereover;wouldthatsatisfyyou?

  Areyouronlyaspirationsinthematterconfinedtoyourselfandfamily?Iknowtheyarenot。Iknowyouareasanxiousasanyofusforthechurchtowhichwebelong;andwhatagrievousblowwouldsuchanactofapostacygiveher!Youoweittothechurchofwhichyouareamemberandaminister,tobearwiththisaffliction,howeversevereitmaybe:youoweittomyfather,whoinstitutedyou,tosupporthisrights:youoweittothosewhoprecededyoutoassertthelegalityoftheirposition;youoweittothosewhoaretocomeafteryou,tomaintainuninjuredforthemthatwhichyoureceiveduninjuredfromothers;andyouowetousalltheunflinchingassistanceofperfectbrotherhoodinthismatter,sothatupholdingoneanotherwemaysupportourgreatcausewithoutblushingandwithoutdisgrace。’

  Andsothearchdeaconceased,andstoodself-satisfied,watchingtheeffectofhisspokenwisdom。

  Thewardenfelthimself,toacertainextent,stifled;hewouldhavegiventheworldtogethimselfoutintotheopenairwithoutspeakingto,ornoticingthosewhowereintheroomwithhim;butthiswasimpossible。Hecouldnotleavewithoutsayingsomething,andhefelthimselfconfoundedbythearchdeacon’seloquence。Therewasaheavy,unfeeling,unanswerabletruthinwhathehadsaid;therewassomuchpractical,butodiouscommonsenseinit,thatheneitherknewhowtoassentortodiffer。Ifitwerenecessaryforhimtosuffer,hefeltthathecouldendurewithoutcomplaintandwithoutcowardice,providingthathewasself-satisfiedofthejusticeofhisowncause。Whathecouldnotendurewas,thatheshouldbeaccusedbyothers,andnotacquittedbyhimself。

  Doubting,ashehadbeguntodoubt,thejusticeofhisownpositioninthehospital,heknewthathisownself-confidencewouldnotberestoredbecauseMrBoldhadbeeninerrorastosomelegalform;norcouldhebesatisfiedtoescape,because,throughsomelegalfiction,hewhoreceivedthegreatestbenefitfromthehospitalmightbeconsideredonlyasoneofitsservants。

  Thearchdeacon’sspeechhadsilencedhim——stupefiedhim——annihilatedhim;anythingbutsatisfiedhim。Withthebishopitfarednotmuchbetter。Hedidnotdiscernclearlyhowthingswere,buthesawenoughtoknowthatabattlewastobepreparedfor;abattlethatwoulddestroyhisfewremainingcomforts,andbringhimwithsorrowtothegrave。

  Thewardenstillsat,andstilllookedatthearchdeacon,tillhisthoughtsfixedthemselveswhollyonthemeansofescapefromhispresentposition,andhefeltlikeabirdfascinatedbygazingonasnake。

  ’Ihopeyouagreewithme,’saidthearchdeaconatlast,breakingthedreadsilence;’mylord,Ihopeyouagreewithme。’

  Oh,whatasighthebishopgave!’Mylord,Ihopeyouagreewithme,’againrepeatedthemercilesstyrant。

  ’Yes,Isupposeso,’groanedthepooroldman,slowly。

  ’Andyou,warden?’

  MrHardingwasnowstirredtoaction——hemustspeakandmove,sohegotupandtookoneturnbeforeheanswered。

  ’Donotpressmeforananswerjustatpresent;Iwilldonothinglightlyinthematter,andofwhateverIdoIwillgiveyouandthebishopnotice。’Andsowithoutanotherwordhetookhisleave,escapingquicklythroughthepalacehall,anddowntheloftysteps,nordidhebreathefreelytillhefoundhimselfaloneunderthehugeelmsofthesilentclose。Herehewalkedlongandslowly,thinkingonhiscasewithatroubledair,andtryinginvaintoconfutethearchdeacon’sargument。

  Hethenwenthome,resolvedtobearitall——ignominy,suspense,disgrace,self-doubt,andheart-burning——andtodoasthosewouldhavehim,whohestillbelievedweremostfitandmostabletocounselhimaright。

  TribulationMrHardingwasasaddermanthanhehadeveryetbeenwhenhereturnedtohisownhouse。Hehadbeenwretchedenoughonthatwell-rememberedmorningwhenhewasforcedtoexposebeforehisson-in-lawthepublisher’saccountforusheringintotheworldhisdearbookofsacredmusic:whenaftermakingsuchpaymentsashecoulddounassisted,hefoundthathewasadebtorofmorethanthreehundredpounds;buthissufferingsthenwereasnothingtohispresentmisery;——thenhehaddonewrong,andheknewit,andwasabletoresolvethathewouldnotsininlikemanneragain;butnowhecouldmakenoresolution,andcomforthimselfbynopromisesoffirmness。Hehadbeenforcedtothinkthathislothadplacedhiminafalseposition,andhewasabouttomaintainthatpositionagainsttheopinionoftheworldandagainsthisownconvictions。

  Hehadreadwithpity,amountingalmosttohorror,thestrictureswhichhadappearedfromtimetotimeagainsttheEarlofGuildfordasmasterofStCross,andtheinvectivesthathadbeenheapedonrichdiocesandignitariesandovergrownsinecurepluralists。Injudgingofthem,hejudgedleniently;

  thewholebiasofhisprofessionhadtaughthimtothinkthattheyweremoresinnedagainstthansinning,andthattheanimositywithwhichtheyhadbeenpursuedwasvenomousandunjust;buthehadnotthelessregardedtheirplightasmostmiserable。

  Hishairhadstoodonendandhisfleshhadcreptashereadthethingswhichhadbeenwritten;hehadwonderedhowmencouldliveundersuchaloadofdisgrace;howtheycouldfacetheirfellow-creatureswhiletheirnameswerebandiedaboutsoinjuriouslyandsopublicly——andnowthislotwastobehis——he,thatshy,retiringman,whohadsocomfortedhimselfinthehiddenobscurityofhislot,whohadsoenjoyedtheunassumingwarmthofhisownlittlecorner,hewasnowdraggedforthintotheglaringday,andgibbetedbeforeferociousmultitudes。Heenteredhisownhouseacrestfallen,humiliatedman,withoutahopeofovercomingthewretchednesswhichaffectedhim。

  Hewanderedintothedrawing-roomwherewashisdaughter;

  buthecouldnotspeaktohernow,soheleftit,andwentintothebook-room。HewasnotquickenoughtoescapeEleanor’sglance,ortopreventherfromseeingthathewasdisturbed;

  andinalittlewhileshefollowedhim。Shefoundhimseatedinhisaccustomedchairwithnobookopenbeforehim,nopenreadyinhishand,noill-shapennotesofblottedmusiclyingbeforehimaswasusual,noneofthosehospitalaccountswithwhichhewassopreciseandyetsounmethodical:hewasdoingnothing,thinkingofnothing,lookingatnothing;

  hewasmerelysuffering。

  ’Leaveme,Eleanor,mydear,’hesaid;’leaveme,mydarling,forafewminutes,forIambusy。’

  Eleanorsawwellhowitwas,butshedidleavehim,andglidedsilentlybacktoherdrawing-room。Whenhehadsatawhile,thusaloneandunoccupied,hegotuptowalkagain——

  hecouldmakemoreofhisthoughtswalkingthansitting,andwascreepingoutintohisgarden,whenhemetBunceonthethreshold。

  ’Well,Bunce,’saidhe,inatonethatforhimwassharp,’whatisit?doyouwantme?’

  ’Iwasonlycomingtoaskafteryourreverence,’saidtheoldbedesman,touchinghishat;’andtoinquireaboutthenewsfromLondon,’headdedafterapause。

  Thewardenwinced,andputhishandtohisforeheadandfeltbewildered。

  ’AttorneyFinneyhasbeentherethismorning,’continuedBunce,’andbyhislooksIguessheisnotsowellpleasedasheoncewas,andithasgotabroadsomehowthatthearchdeaconhashaddowngreatnewsfromLondon,andHandyandMoodyarebothasblackasdevils。AndIhope,’saidtheman,tryingtoassumeacheerytone,’thatthingsarelookingup,andthatthere’llbeanendsoontoallthisstuffwhichbothersyourreverencesosorely。’

  ’Well,Iwishtheremaybe,Bunce。’

  ’Butaboutthenews,yourreverence?’saidtheoldman,almostwhispering。

  MrHardingwalkedon,andshookhisheadimpatiently。

  PoorBuncelittleknewhowhewastormentinghispatron。

  ’Iftherewasanythingtocheeryou,Ishouldbesogladtoknowit,’saidhe,withatoneofaffectionwhichthewardeninallhismiserycouldnotresist。

  Hestopped,andtookboththeoldman’shandsinhis。

  ’Myfriend,’saidhe,’mydearoldfriend,thereisnothing;

  thereisnonewstocheerme——God’swillbedone’:andtwosmallhottearsbrokeawayfromhiseyesandstoledownhisfurrowedcheeks。

  ’ThenGod’swillbedone,’saidtheothersolemnly;’buttheytoldmethattherewasgoodnewsfromLondon,andI

  cametowishyourreverencejoy;butGod’swillbedone,’

  andsothewardenagainwalkedon,andthebedesman,lookingwistfullyafterhimandreceivingnoencouragementtofollow,returnedsadlytohisownabode。

  Foracoupleofhoursthewardenremainedthusinthegarden,nowwalking,nowstandingmotionlessontheturf,andthen,ashislegsgotweary,sittingunconsciouslyonthegardenseats,andthenwalkingagain。AndEleanor,hiddenbehindthemuslincurtainsofthewindow,watchedhimthroughthetreesashenowcameinsight,andthenagainwasconcealedbytheturningsofthewalk;andthusthetimepassedawaytillfive,whenthewardencreptbacktothehouseandpreparedfordinner。

  Itwasbutasorrymeal。Thedemureparlour-maid,asshehandedthedishesandchangedtheplates,sawthatallwasnotright,andwasmoredemurethanever:neitherfathernordaughtercouldeat,andthehatefulfoodwassoonclearedaway,andthebottleofportplaceduponthetable。

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