第54章
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  EvenMr。Hirst,whomshehaddislikedwhenshefirstmethim,reallywasn’tdisagreeable;and,poorman,healwayslookedsoill;

  perhapshewasinlove;perhapshehadbeeninlovewithRachel——

  shereallyshouldn’twonder;orperhapsitwasEvelyn——shewasofcourseveryattractivetomen。Leaningforward,shewentonwiththeconversation。Shesaidthatshethoughtthatthereasonwhypartiesweresodullwasmainlybecausegentlemenwillnotdress:

  eveninLondon,shestated,itstruckherverymuchhowpeopledon’tthinkitnecessarytodressintheevening,andofcourseiftheydon’tdressinLondontheywon’tdressinthecountry。

  ItwasreallyquiteatreatatChristmas-timewhenthereweretheHuntballs,andthegentlemenworeniceredcoats,butArthurdidn’tcarefordancing,soshesupposedthattheywouldn’tgoeventotheballintheirlittlecountrytown。Shedidn’tthinkthatpeoplewhowerefondofonesportoftencareforanother,althoughherfatherwasanexception。Butthenhewasanexceptionineveryway——suchagardener,andheknewallaboutbirdsandanimals,andofcoursehewassimplyadoredbyalltheoldwomeninthevillage,andatthesametimewhathereallylikedbestwasabook。

  Youalwaysknewwheretofindhimifhewerewanted;hewouldbeinhisstudywithabook。Verylikelyitwouldbeanold,oldbook,somefustyoldthingthatnooneelsewoulddreamofreading。

  Sheusedtotellhimthathewouldhavemadeafirst-rateoldbookwormifonlyhehadn’thadafamilyofsixtosupport,andsixchildren,sheadded,charminglyconfidentofuniversalsympathy,didn’tleaveonemuchtimeforbeingabookworm。

  Stilltalkingaboutherfather,ofwhomshewasveryproud,sherose,forArthuruponlookingathiswatchfoundthatitwastimetheywentbackagaintothetenniscourt。Theothersdidnotmove。

  “They’reveryhappy!“saidMrs。Thornbury,lookingbenignantlyafterthem。Rachelagreed;theyseemedtobesocertainofthemselves;

  theyseemedtoknowexactlywhattheywanted。

  “D’youthinkthey_are_happy?“EvelynmurmuredtoTerenceinanundertone,andshehopedthathewouldsaythathedidnotthinkthemhappy;but,instead,hesaidthattheymustgotoo——gohome,fortheywerealwaysbeinglateformeals,andMrs。Ambrose,whowasverysternandparticular,didn’tlikethat。EvelynlaidholdofRachel’sskirtandprotested。Whyshouldtheygo?

  Itwasstillearly,andshehadsomanythingstosaytothem。

  “No,“saidTerence,“wemustgo,becausewewalksoslowly。Westopandlookatthings,andwetalk。“

  “Whatd’youtalkabout?“Evelynenquired,uponwhichhelaughedandsaidthattheytalkedabouteverything。

  Mrs。Thornburywentwiththemtothegate,trailingveryslowlyandgracefullyacrossthegrassandthegravel,andtalkingallthetimeaboutflowersandbirds。Shetoldthemthatshehadtakenupthestudyofbotanysinceherdaughtermarried,anditwaswonderfulwhatanumberofflowerstherewerewhichshehadneverseen,althoughshehadlivedinthecountryallherlifeandshewasnowseventy-two。Itwasagoodthingtohavesomeoccupationwhichwasquiteindependentofotherpeople,shesaid,whenonegotold。

  Buttheoddthingwasthatoneneverfeltold。Shealwaysfeltthatshewastwenty-five,notadaymoreoradayless,but,ofcourse,onecouldn’texpectotherpeopletoagreetothat。

  “Itmustbeverywonderfultobetwenty-five,andnotmerelytoimaginethatyou’retwenty-five,“shesaid,lookingfromonetotheotherwithhersmooth,brightglance。“Itmustbeverywonderful,verywonderfulindeed。“Shestoodtalkingtothematthegateforalongtime;sheseemedreluctantthattheyshouldgo。

  Theafternoonwasveryhot,sohotthatthebreakingofthewavesontheshoresoundedliketherepeatedsighofsomeexhaustedcreature,andevenontheterraceunderanawningthebrickswerehot,andtheairdancedperpetuallyovertheshortdrygrass。

  Theredflowersinthestonebasinsweredroopingwiththeheat,andthewhiteblossomswhichhadbeensosmoothandthickonlyafewweeksagowerenowdry,andtheiredgeswerecurledandyellow。

  Onlythestiffandhostileplantsofthesouth,whosefleshyleavesseemedtobegrownuponspines,stillremainedstandinguprightanddefiedthesuntobeatthemdown。Itwastoohottotalk,anditwasnoteasytofindanybookthatwouldwithstandthepowerofthesun。Manybookshadbeentriedandthenletfall,andnowTerencewasreadingMiltonaloud,becausehesaidthewordsofMiltonhadsubstanceandshape,sothatitwasnotnecessarytounderstandwhathewassaying;onecouldmerelylistentohiswords;onecouldalmosthandlethem。

  Thereisagentlenymphnotfarfromhence,heread,ThatwithmoistcurbswaysthesmoothSevernstream。

  Sabrinaishername,avirginpure;

  WhilomshewasthedaughterofLocrine,ThathadthesceptrefromhisfatherBrute。

  Thewords,inspiteofwhatTerencehadsaid,seemedtobeladenwithmeaning,andperhapsitwasforthisreasonthatitwaspainfultolistentothem;theysoundedstrange;theymeantdifferentthingsfromwhattheyusuallymeant。Rachelatanyratecouldnotkeepherattentionfixeduponthem,butwentoffuponcurioustrainsofthoughtsuggestedbywordssuchas“curb“and“Locrine“and“Brute,“

  whichbroughtunpleasantsightsbeforehereyes,independentlyoftheirmeaning。Owingtotheheatandthedancingairthegardentoolookedstrange——thetreeswereeithertoonearortoofar,andherheadalmostcertainlyached。Shewasnotquitecertain,andthereforeshedidnotknow,whethertotellTerencenow,ortolethimgoonreading。Shedecidedthatshewouldwaituntilhecametotheendofastanza,andifbythattimeshehadturnedherheadthiswayandthat,anditachedineverypositionundoubtedly,shewouldsayverycalmlythatherheadached。

  Sabrinafair,ListenwherethouartsittingUndertheglassy,cool,translucentwave,IntwistedbraidsofliliesknittingTheloosetrainofthyamberdroppinghair,Listenfordearhonour’ssake,Goddessofthesilverlake,Listenandsave!

  Butherheadached;itachedwhicheverwaysheturnedit。

  Shesatupandsaidasshehaddetermined,“MyheadachessothatIshallgoindoors。“Hewashalf-waythroughthenextverse,buthedroppedthebookinstantly。

  “Yourheadaches?“herepeated。

  Forafewmomentstheysatlookingatoneanotherinsilence,holdingeachother’shands。Duringthistimehissenseofdismayandcatastrophewerealmostphysicallypainful;allroundhimheseemedtoheartheshiverofbrokenglasswhich,asitfelltoearth,lefthimsittingintheopenair。Butattheendoftwominutes,noticingthatshewasnotsharinghisdismay,butwasonlyrathermorelanguidandheavy-eyedthanusual,herecovered,fetchedHelen,andaskedhertotellhimwhattheyhadbetterdo,forRachelhadaheadache。

  Mrs。Ambrosewasnotdiscomposed,butadvisedthatsheshouldgotobed,andaddedthatshemustexpectherheadtoacheifshesatuptoallhoursandwentoutintheheat,butafewhoursinbedwouldcureitcompletely。Terencewasunreasonablyreassuredbyherwords,ashehadbeenunreasonablydepressedthemomentbefore。Helen’ssenseseemedtohavemuchincommonwiththeruthlessgoodsenseofnature,whichavengedrashnessbyaheadache,and,likenature’sgoodsense,mightbedependedupon。

  Rachelwenttobed;shelayinthedark,itseemedtoher,foraverylongtime,butatlength,wakingfromatransparentkindofsleep,shesawthewindowswhiteinfrontofher,andrecollectedthatsometimebeforeshehadgonetobedwithaheadache,andthatHelenhadsaiditwouldbegonewhenshewoke。

  Shesupposed,therefore,thatshewasnowquitewellagain。

  Atthesametimethewallofherroomwaspainfullywhite,andcurvedslightly,insteadofbeingstraightandflat。Turninghereyestothewindow,shewasnotreassuredbywhatshesawthere。

  Themovementoftheblindasitfilledwithairandblewslowlyout,drawingthecordwithalittletrailingsoundalongthefloor,seemedtoherterrifying,asifitwerethemovementofananimalintheroom。

  Sheshuthereyes,andthepulseinherheadbeatsostronglythateachthumpseemedtotreaduponanerve,piercingherforeheadwithalittlestabofpain。Itmightnotbethesameheadache,butshecertainlyhadaheadache。Sheturnedfromsidetoside,inthehopethatthecoolnessofthesheetswouldcureher,andthatwhenshenextopenedhereyestolooktheroomwouldbeasusual。

  Afteraconsiderablenumberofvainexperiments,sheresolvedtoputthematterbeyondadoubt。Shegotoutofbedandstoodupright,holdingontothebrassballattheendofthebedstead。

  Ice-coldatfirst,itsoonbecameashotasthepalmofherhand,andasthepainsinherheadandbodyandtheinstabilityofthefloorprovedthatitwouldbefarmoreintolerabletostandandwalkthantolieinbed,shegotintobedagain;butthoughthechangewasrefreshingatfirst,thediscomfortofbedwassoonasgreatasthediscomfortofstandingup。Sheacceptedtheideathatshewouldhavetostayinbedalldaylong,andasshelaidherheadonthepillow,relinquishedthehappinessoftheday。

  WhenHelencameinanhourortwolater,suddenlystoppedhercheerfulwords,lookedstartledforasecondandthenunnaturallycalm,thefactthatshewasillwasputbeyondadoubt。Itwasconfirmedwhenthewholehouseholdknewofit,whenthesongthatsomeonewassinginginthegardenstoppedsuddenly,andwhenMaria,asshebroughtwater,slippedpastthebedwithavertedeyes。

  Therewasallthemorningtogetthrough,andthenalltheafternoon,andatintervalsshemadeanefforttocrossoverintotheordinaryworld,butshefoundthatherheatanddiscomforthadputagulfbetweenherworldandtheordinaryworldwhichshecouldnotbridge。

  Atonepointthedooropened,andHelencameinwithalittledarkmanwhohad——itwasthechiefthingshenoticedabouthim——

  veryhairyhands。Shewasdrowsyandintolerablyhot,andasheseemedshyandobsequiousshescarcelytroubledtoanswerhim,althoughsheunderstoodthathewasadoctor。AtanotherpointthedooropenedandTerencecameinverygently,smilingtoosteadily,assherealised,forittobenatural。Hesatdownandtalkedtoher,strokingherhandsuntilitbecameirksometohertolieanymoreinthesamepositionandsheturnedround,andwhenshelookedupagainHelenwasbesideherandTerencehadgone。Itdidnotmatter;

  shewouldseehimto-morrowwhenthingswouldbeordinaryagain。

  Herchiefoccupationduringthedaywastotrytorememberhowthelineswent:

  Undertheglassy,cool,translucentwave,IntwistedbraidsofliliesknittingTheloosetrainofthyamberdroppinghair;

  andtheeffortworriedherbecausetheadjectivespersistedingettingintothewrongplaces。

  Theseconddaydidnotdifferverymuchfromthefirstday,exceptthatherbedhadbecomeveryimportant,andtheworldoutside,whenshetriedtothinkofit,appeareddistinctlyfurtheroff。

  Theglassy,cool,translucentwavewasalmostvisiblebeforeher,curlingupattheendofthebed,andasitwasrefreshinglycoolshetriedtokeephermindfixeduponit。Helenwashere,andHelenwastherealldaylong;sometimesshesaidthatitwaslunchtime,andsometimesthatitwasteatime;butbythenextdayalllandmarkswereobliterated,andtheouterworldwassofarawaythatthedifferentsounds,suchasthesoundsofpeoplemovingoverhead,couldonlybeascribedtotheircausebyagreateffortofmemory。

  Therecollectionofwhatshehadfelt,orofwhatshehadbeendoingandthinkingthreedaysbefore,hadfadedentirely。

  Ontheotherhand,everyobjectintheroom,andthebeditself,andherownbodywithitsvariouslimbsandtheirdifferentsensationsweremoreandmoreimportanteachday。Shewascompletelycutoff,andunabletocommunicatewiththerestoftheworld,isolatedalonewithherbody。

  Hoursandhourswouldpassthus,withoutgettinganyfurtherthroughthemorning,oragainafewminuteswouldleadfrombroaddaylighttothedepthsofthenight。Oneeveningwhentheroomappearedverydim,eitherbecauseitwaseveningorbecausetheblindsweredrawn,Helensaidtoher,“Someoneisgoingtosithereto-night。Youwon’tmind?“

  Openinghereyes,RachelsawnotonlyHelenbutanurseinspectacles,whosefacevaguelyrecalledsomethingthatshehadonceseen。

  Shehadseenherinthechapel。“NurseMcInnis,“saidHelen,andthenursesmiledsteadilyastheyalldid,andsaidthatshedidnotfindmanypeoplewhowerefrightenedofher。Afterwaitingforamomenttheybothdisappeared,andhavingturnedonherpillowRachelwoketofindherselfinthemidstofoneofthoseinterminablenightswhichdonotendattwelve,butgoonintothedoublefigures

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