第9章
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  Tellmewhy?“

  “She’sso——so——well,solikeatightplait,“Rachelfloundered。

  “Ah——Iseewhatyoumean。ButIdon’tagree。Andyouwon’twhenyou’reolder。AtyourageIonlylikedShelley。Icanremembersobbingoverhiminthegarden。

  Hehasoutsoaredtheshadowofournight,Envyandcalumnyandhateandpain——youremember?

  CantouchhimnotandtorturenotagainFromthecontagionoftheworld’sslowstain。

  Howdivine!——andyetwhatnonsense!“Shelookedlightlyroundtheroom。

  “Ialwaysthinkit’s_living_,notdying,thatcounts。Ireallyrespectsomesnuffyoldstockbrokerwho’sgoneonaddingupcolumnaftercolumnallhisdays,andtrottingbacktohisvillaatBrixtonwithsomeoldpugdogheworships,andadrearylittlewifesittingattheendofthetable,andgoingofftoMargateforafortnight——

  IassureyouIknowheapslikethat——well,theyseemtome_really_

  noblerthanpoetswhomeveryoneworships,justbecausethey’regeniusesanddieyoung。ButIdon’texpect_you_toagreewithme!“

  ShepressedRachel’sshoulder。

  “Um-m-m——“shewentonquoting——

  Unrestwhichmenmiscalldelight——

  “whenyou’remyageyou’llseethattheworldis_crammed_withdelightfulthings。Ithinkyoungpeoplemakesuchamistakeaboutthat——

  notlettingthemselvesbehappy。Isometimesthinkthathappinessistheonlythingthatcounts。Idon’tknowyouwellenoughtosay,butIshouldguessyoumightbealittleinclinedto——whenone’syoungandattractive——I’mgoingtosayit!——_every_thing’satone’sfeet。“

  Sheglancedroundasmuchastosay,“notonlyafewstuffybooksandBach。“

  “Ilongtoaskquestions,“shecontinued。“Youinterestmesomuch。

  IfI’mimpertinent,youmustjustboxmyears。“

  “AndI——Iwanttoaskquestions,“saidRachelwithsuchearnestnessthatMrs。Dallowayhadtocheckhersmile。

  “D’youmindifwewalk?“shesaid。“Theair’ssodelicious。“

  Shesnuffeditlikearacehorseastheyshutthedoorandstoodondeck。

  “Isn’titgoodtobealive?“sheexclaimed,anddrewRachel’sarmwithinhers。

  “Look,look!Howexquisite!“

  TheshoresofPortugalwerebeginningtolosetheirsubstance;

  butthelandwasstilltheland,thoughatagreatdistance。

  Theycoulddistinguishthelittletownsthatweresprinkledinthefoldsofthehills,andthesmokerisingfaintly。Thetownsappearedtobeverysmallincomparisonwiththegreatpurplemountainsbehindthem。

  “Honestly,though,“saidClarissa,havinglooked,“Idon’tlikeviews。

  They’retooinhuman。“Theywalkedon。

  “Howodditis!“shecontinuedimpulsively。“Thistimeyesterdaywe’dnevermet。Iwaspackinginastuffylittleroominthehotel。

  Weknowabsolutelynothingabouteachother——andyet——IfeelasifI

  _did_knowyou!“

  “Youhavechildren——yourhusbandwasinParliament?“

  “You’veneverbeentoschool,andyoulive——?“

  “WithmyauntsatRichmond。“

  “Richmond?“

  “Yousee,myauntslikethePark。Theylikethequiet。“

  “Andyoudon’t!Iunderstand!“Clarissalaughed。

  “IlikewalkingintheParkalone;butnot——withthedogs,“

  shefinished。

  “No;andsomepeople_are_dogs;aren’tthey?“saidClarissa,asifshehadguessedasecret。“Butnoteveryone——ohno,noteveryone。“

  “Noteveryone,“saidRachel,andstopped。

  “Icanquiteimagineyouwalkingalone,“saidClarissa:“andthinking——

  inalittleworldofyourown。Buthowyouwillenjoyit——

  someday!“

  “Ishallenjoywalkingwithaman——isthatwhatyoumean?“saidRachel,regardingMrs。Dallowaywithherlargeenquiringeyes。

  “Iwasn’tthinkingofamanparticularly,“saidClarissa。

  “Butyouwill。“

  “No。Ishallnevermarry,“Racheldetermined。

  “Ishouldn’tbesosureofthat,“saidClarissa。HersidelongglancetoldRachelthatshefoundherattractivealthoughshewasinexplicablyamused。

  “Whydopeoplemarry?“Rachelasked。

  “That’swhatyou’regoingtofindout,“Clarissalaughed。

  Rachelfollowedhereyesandfoundthattheyrestedforasecond,ontherobustfigureofRichardDalloway,whowasengagedinstrikingamatchonthesoleofhisboot;whileWilloughbyexpoundedsomething,whichseemedtobeofgreatinteresttothemboth。

  “There’snothinglikeit,“sheconcluded。“DotellmeabouttheAmbroses。OramIaskingtoomanyquestions?“

  “Ifindyoueasytotalkto,“saidRachel。

  TheshortsketchoftheAmbroseswas,however,somewhatperfunctory,andcontainedlittlebutthefactthatMr。Ambrosewasheruncle。

  “Yourmother’sbrother?“

  Whenanamehasdroppedoutofuse,thelightesttouchuponittells。

  Mrs。Dallowaywenton:

  “Areyoulikeyourmother?“

  “No;shewasdifferent,“saidRachel。

  ShewasovercomebyanintensedesiretotellMrs。Dallowaythingsshehadnevertoldanyone——thingsshehadnotrealisedherselfuntilthismoment。

  “Iamlonely,“shebegan。“Iwant——“Shedidnotknowwhatshewanted,sothatshecouldnotfinishthesentence;butherlipquivered。

  ButitseemedthatMrs。Dallowaywasabletounderstandwithoutwords。

  “Iknow,“shesaid,actuallyputtingonearmroundRachel’sshoulder。

  “WhenIwasyourageIwantedtoo。NooneunderstooduntilI

  metRichard。HegavemeallIwanted。He’smanandwomanaswell。“

  HereyesresteduponMr。Dalloway,leaningupontherail,stilltalking。“Don’tthinkIsaythatbecauseI’mhiswife——

  IseehisfaultsmoreclearlythanIseeanyoneelse’s。Whatonewantsinthepersononeliveswithisthattheyshouldkeeponeatone’sbest。IoftenwonderwhatI’vedonetobesohappy!“

  sheexclaimed,andatearsliddownhercheek。Shewipeditaway,squeezedRachel’shand,andexclaimed:

  “Howgoodlifeis!“Atthatmoment,standingoutinthefreshbreeze,withthesunuponthewaves,andMrs。Dalloway’shanduponherarm,itseemedindeedasiflifewhichhadbeenunnamedbeforewasinfinitelywonderful,andtoogoodtobetrue。

  HereHelenpassedthem,andseeingRachelarm-in-armwithacomparativestranger,lookingexcited,wasamused,butatthesametimeslightlyirritated。ButtheywereimmediatelyjoinedbyRichard,whohadenjoyedaveryinterestingtalkwithWilloughbyandwasinasociablemood。

  “ObservemyPanama,“hesaid,touchingthebrimofhishat。

  “Areyouaware,MissVinrace,howmuchcanbedonetoinducefineweatherbyappropriateheaddress?Ihavedeterminedthatitisahotsummerday;Iwarnyouthatnothingyoucansaywillshakeme。

  ThereforeIamgoingtositdown。Iadviseyoutofollowmyexample。“

  Threechairsinarowinvitedthemtobeseated。

  Leaningback,Richardsurveyedthewaves。

  “That’saveryprettyblue,“hesaid。“Butthere’salittletoomuchofit。Varietyisessentialtoaview。Thus,ifyouhavehillsyououghttohaveariver;ifariver,hills。ThebestviewintheworldinmyopinionisthatfromBoarsHillonafineday——

  itmustbeafineday,markyou——Arug?——Oh,thankyou,mydear……inthatcaseyouhavealsotheadvantageofassociations——

  thePast。“

  “D’youwanttotalk,Dick,orshallIreadaloud?“

  Clarissahadfetchedabookwiththerugs。

  “_Persuasion_,“announcedRichard,examiningthevolume。

  “That’sforMissVinrace,“saidClarissa。“Shecan’tbearourbelovedJane。“

  “That——ifImaysayso——isbecauseyouhavenotreadher,“saidRichard。

  “Sheisincomparablythegreatestfemalewriterwepossess。“

  “Sheisthegreatest,“hecontinued,“andforthisreason:

  shedoesnotattempttowritelikeaman。Everyotherwomandoes;

  onthataccount,Idon’tread’em。“

  “Produceyourinstances,MissVinrace,“hewenton,joininghisfinger-tips。“I’mreadytobeconverted。“

  Hewaited,whileRachelvainlytriedtovindicatehersexfromtheslightheputuponit。

  “I’mafraidhe’sright,“saidClarissa。“Hegenerallyis——

  thewretch!“

  “Ibrought_Persuasion_,“shewenton,“becauseIthoughtitwasalittlelessthreadbarethantheothers——though,Dick,it’snogood_your_pretendingtoknowJanebyheart,consideringthatshealwayssendsyoutosleep!“

  “Afterthelaboursoflegislation,Ideservesleep,“saidRichard。

  “You’renottothinkaboutthoseguns,“saidClarissa,seeingthathiseye,passingoverthewaves,stillsoughtthelandmeditatively,“oraboutnavies,orempires,oranything。“Sosayingsheopenedthebookandbegantoread:

  “’SirWalterElliott,ofKellynchHall,inSomersetshire,wasamanwho,forhisownamusement,nevertookupanybookbutthe_Baronetage_’——

  don’tyouknowSirWalter?——’Therehefoundoccupationforanidlehour,andconsolationinadistressedone。’Shedoeswritewell,doesn’tshe?’There——’“Shereadoninalighthumorousvoice。

  ShewasdeterminedthatSirWaltershouldtakeherhusband’smindoffthegunsofBritain,anddiverthiminanexquisite,quaint,sprightly,andslightlyridiculousworld。Afteratimeitappearedthatthesunwassinkinginthatworld,andthepointsbecomingsofter。Rachellookeduptoseewhatcausedthechange。

  Richard’seyelidswereclosingandopening;openingandclosing。

  Aloudnasalbreathannouncedthathenolongerconsideredappearances,thathewassoundasleep。

  “Triumph!“Clarissawhisperedattheendofasentence。Suddenlysheraisedherhandinprotest。Asailorhesitated;shegavethebooktoRachel,andsteppedlightlytotakethemessage——“Mr。Gricewishedtoknowifitwasconvenient,“etc。Shefollowedhim。

  Ridley,whohadprowledunheeded,startedforward,stopped,and,withagestureofdisgust,strodeofftohisstudy。ThesleepingpoliticianwasleftinRachel’scharge。Shereadasentence,andtookalookathim。Insleephelookedlikeacoathangingattheendofabed;therewereallthewrinkles,andthesleevesandtrouserskepttheirshapethoughnolongerfilledoutbylegsandarms。Youcanthenbestjudgetheageandstateofthecoat。

  Shelookedhimalloveruntilitseemedtoherthathemustprotest。

  Hewasamanoffortyperhaps;andheretherewerelinesroundhiseyes,andtherecuriouscleftsinhischeeks。Slightlybatteredheappeared,butdoggedandintheprimeoflife。

  “Sistersandadormouseandsomecanaries,“Rachelmurmured,nevertakinghereyesoffhim。“Iwonder,Iwonder“sheceased,herchinuponherhand,stilllookingathim。Abellchimedbehindthem,andRichardraisedhishead。Thenheopenedhiseyeswhichworeforasecondthequeerlookofashortsightedperson’swhosespectaclesarelost。Ittookhimamomenttorecoverfromtheimproprietyofhavingsnored,andpossiblygrunted,beforeayounglady。Towakeandfindoneselfleftalonewithonewasalsoslightlydisconcerting。

  “IsupposeI’vebeendozing,“hesaid。“What’shappenedtoeveryone?Clarissa?“

  “Mrs。DallowayhasgonetolookatMr。Grice’sfish,“Rachelreplied。

  “Imighthaveguessed,“saidRichard。“It’sacommonoccurrence。

  Andhowhaveyouimprovedtheshininghour?Haveyoubecomeaconvert?“

  “Idon’tthinkI’vereadaline,“saidRachel。

  “That’swhatIalwaysfind。Therearetoomanythingstolookat。

  Ifindnatureverystimulatingmyself。Mybestideashavecometomeoutofdoors。“

  “Whenyouwerewalking?“

  “Walking——riding——yachting——IsupposethemostmomentousconversationsofmylifetookplacewhileperambulatingthegreatcourtatTrinity。

  Iwasatbothuniversities。Itwasafadofmyfather’s。Hethoughtitbroadeningtothemind。IthinkIagreewithhim。Icanremember——

  whatanageagoitseems!——settlingthebasisofafuturestatewiththepresentSecretaryforIndia。Wethoughtourselvesverywise。

  I’mnotsureweweren’t。Wewerehappy,MissVinrace,andwewereyoung——

  giftswhichmakeforwisdom。“

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