第38章
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  WhenIsaidthemIwasexpectingdeathindeed,buttorenouncethemnowthatitsshadowwasliftedfromme,ifonlyforalittlewhile,wouldhavebeentheactofacoward。

  ForgoodorevilIhadgivenmyselftoMontezuma’sdaughter,andImustabidebyitorbeshamed。

  StillsuchwasthenoblenessofthisIndianladythateventhenshewouldnottakemeatmyword。

  Foralittlewhileshestoodsmilingsadlyanddrawingalockofherlonghairthroughthehollowofherhand。

  Thenshespoke:

  ’Youarenotyourself,Teule,andIshouldbebaseindeedifImadesosolemnacompactwithonewhodoesnotknowwhathesells。

  Yonderonthealtarandinamomentofdeathyousaidthatyoulovedme,anddoubtlessitwastrue。

  Butnowyouhavecomebacktolife,andsay,lord,whosetthatgoldenringuponyourhandandwhatiswritteninitscircle?

  Yetevenifthewordsaretruethatyouhavespokenandyoulovemealittle,thereisoneacrosstheseawhomyoulovebetter。

  ThatIcouldbear,formyheartisfixedonyoualoneamongmen,andattheleastyouwouldbekindtome,andIshouldmoveinthesunlightofyourpresence。

  Buthavingknownthelight,Icannotlivetowanderinthedarkness。

  Youdonotunderstand。

  IwilltellyouwhatIfear。

  Ifearthatif——ifwewerewed,youwouldwearyofmeasmendo,andthatmemorywouldgrowtoostrongforyou。

  Thenbyandbyitmightbepossibleforyoutofindyourwaybackacrossthewaterstoyourownlandandyourownlove,andsoyouwoulddesertme,Teule。

  ThisiswhatI

  couldnotbear,Teule。

  Icanforegoyounow,ay,andremainyourfriend。

  ButIcannotbeputasidelikeadancinggirl,thecompanionofamonth,I,Montezuma’sdaughter,aladyofmyownland。

  Shouldyouwedme,itmustbeformylife,Teule,andthatisperhapsmorethanyouwouldwishtopromise,thoughyoucouldkissmeonyonderstoneandthereisbloodfellowshipbetweenus,’

  andsheglancedattheredstaininthelinenrobethatcoveredthewounduponherside。

  ’Andnow,Teule,Ileaveyouawhile,thatImayfindGuatemoc,ifhestilllives,andotherswho,nowthatthestrengthofthepriestsisshattered,havepowertoprotectyouandadvanceyoutohonour。

  ThinkthenonallthatIhavesaid,anddonotbehastytodecide。

  OrwouldyoumakeanendatonceandflytothewhitemenifIcanfindameansofescape?’

  ’Iamtoowearytoflyanywhere,’Ianswered,’evenifIcould。

  Moreover,Iforget。

  MyenemyisamongtheSpaniards,hewhomI

  havesworntokill,thereforehisfriendsaremyfoesandhisfoesmyfriends。

  Iwillnotfly,Otomie。’

  ’Thereyouarewise,’shesaid,’forifyoucomeamongtheTeulesthatmanwillmurderyou;byfairmeansorfoulhewillmurderyouwithinaday,Isawitinhiseyes。

  NowrestwhileIseekyoursafety,ifthereisanysafetyinthisblood-stainedland。’

  Otomieturnedandwent。

  Iwatchedthegoldencurtainsclosebehindher;thenIsankbackuponthecouchandinstantlywaslostinsleep,forIwasfaintandweak,andsodazedwithweariness,thatatthetimeIscarcelyknewwhathadhappened,orthepurposeofourtalk。

  Afterwards,however,itcamebacktome。

  Imusthavesleptformanyhours,forwhenIawokeitwasfaronintothenight。

  Itwasnightbutnotdark,forthroughthebarredwindowplacescamethesoundoftumultandfighting,andredraysoflightcastbytheflamesofburninghouses。

  Oneofthesewindowswasabovemycouch,andstandingonthebedIseizedthesillwithmyhands。

  Withmuchpain,becauseofthefleshwoundinmyside,I

  drewmyselfuptillIcouldlookthroughthebars。

  ThenIsawthattheSpaniards,notcontentwiththecaptureoftheteocalli,hadmadeanightattackandsetfiretohundredsofhousesinthecity。

  Theglareoftheflameswasthatofaluridday,andbyitIcouldseethewhitemenretreatingtotheirquarters,pursuedbythousandsofAztecs,whohungupontheirflanks,shootingatthemwithstonesandarrows。

  NowIdroppeddownfromthewindowplaceandbegantothinkastowhatIshoulddo,foragainmymindwaswavering。

  ShouldIdesertOtomieandescapetotheSpaniardsifthatwerepossible,takingmychanceofdeathatthehandsofdeGarcia?

  OrshouldIstayamongtheAztecsiftheywouldgivemeshelter,andwedOtomie?

  Therewasathirdchoice,indeed,tostaywiththemandleaveOtomiealone,thoughitwouldbedifficulttodothisandkeepmyhonour。

  OnethingIunderstood,ifImarriedOtomieitmustbeatherownprice,forthenImustbecomeanIndianandgiveoverallhopeofreturningtoEnglandandtomybetrothed。

  Ofthis,indeed,therewaslittlechance,still,whilemyliferemainedtome,itmightcomeaboutifIwasfree。

  ButoncemyhandsweretiedbythismarriageitcouldneverbeduringOtomie’slifetime,andsofarasLilyBozardwasconcernedIshouldbedead。

  HowcouldIbethusfaithlesstohermemoryandmytroth,andontheotherhand,howcouldIdiscardthewomanwhohadriskedallforme,andwho,tospeaktruth,hadgrownsodeartome,thoughtherewasoneyetdearer?

  Aherooranangelmightfindapathoutofthistangle,butalas!Iwasneithertheonenortheother,onlyamanafflictedasothermenarewithhumanweakness,andOtomiewasathand,andverysweetandfair。

  Still,almostIdeterminedthatIwouldavailmyselfofhernobleness,thatIwouldgobackuponmywords,andbeghertodespisemeandseemenomore,inorderthatImightnotbeforcedtobreakthetroththatIhadpledgedbeneaththebeechatDitchingham。

  ForIgreatlydreadedthisoathoflife-longfidelitywhichIshouldbeforcedtoswearifIchoseanyotherpath。

  ThusIthoughtoninpitiableconfusionofmind,notknowingthatallthesematterswerebeyondmyordering,sinceapathwasalreadymadereadytomyfeet,whichImustfollowordie。

  Andletthisbeaproofofthehonestyofmywords,since,hadIbeendesirousofglozingthetruth,Ineedhavewrittennothingofthesestrugglesofconscience,andofmyownweakness。

  Forsoonitwastocometothis,thoughnotbyherwill,thatImusteitherwedOtomieordieatonce,andfewwouldblamemefordoingthefirstandnotthelast。

  Indeed,thoughIdidwedher,Imightstillhavedeclaredmyselftomyaffiancedandtoalltheworldasaslaveofeventsfromwhichtherewasnoescape。

  Butitisnotallthetruth,sincemymindwasdivided,andhaditnotbeensettledforme,Icannotsayhowthestrugglewouldhaveended。

  Now,lookingbackonthedistantpast,andweighingmyactionsandcharacterasajudgemightdo,Icansee,however,thathadIfoundtimetoconsider,therewasanothermatterwhichwouldsurelyhaveturnedthescaleinfavourofOtomie。

  DeGarciawasamongtheSpaniards,andmyhatredofdeGarciawastherulingpassionofmylife,astrongerpassioneventhanmyloveforthetwodearwomenwhohavebeenitsjoy。

  Indeed,thoughheisdeadthesemanyyearsIstillhatehim,andevilthoughthedesirebe,eveninmyageI

  longthatmyvengeancewasstilltowreak。

  WhileIremainedamongtheAztecsdeGarciawouldbetheirenemyandmine,andImightmeethiminwarandkillhimthere。

  ButifIsucceededinreachingtheSpanishcamp,thenitwasalmostsurethathewouldbringaboutmyinstantdeath。

  Doubtlesshehadtoldsuchataleofmealready,thatwithinanhourIshouldbehungasaspy,orotherwisemadeawaywith。

  ButIwillceasefromtheseunprofitablewonderingswhichhavebutonevalue,thatofsettingoutmystrangenecessityofchoicebetweenanabsentandapresentlove,andgoonwiththestoryofaneventinwhichtherewasnoroomtobalancescruples。

  WhileIsatmusingonthecouchthecurtainwasdrawn,andamanenteredbearingatorch。

  ItwasGuatemocashehadcomefromthefray,which,exceptforitsharvestofburninghouses,wasfinishedforthatnight。

  Theplumeswereshornfromhishead,hisgoldenarmourwashackedbytheSpanishswords,andhebledfromashotwoundintheneck。

  ’Greeting,Teule,’hesaid。

  ’CertainlyIneverthoughttoseeyoualiveto-night,ormyselfeitherforthatmatter。

  Butitisastrangeworld,andnow,ifneverbeforeinTenoctitlan,thosethingshappenforwhichwelooktheleast。

  ButIhavenotimeforwords。

  Icametosummonyoubeforethecouncil。’

  ’Whatistobemyfate?’Iasked。

  ’Tobedraggedbacktothestoneofsacrifice?’

  ’Nay,havenofearofthat。

  ButfortherestIcannotsay。

  Inanhouryoumaybedeadorgreatamongus,ifanyofuscanbecalledgreatinthesedaysofshame。

  Otomiehasworkedwellforyouamongtheprincesandthecounsellors,soshesays,andifyouhaveaheart,youshouldbegratefultoher,foritseemstomethatfewwomenhavelovedamansomuch。

  Asforme,Ihavebeenemployedelsewhere,’andheglancedathisrentarmour,’butIwillliftupmyvoiceforyou。

  Nowcome,friend,forthetorchburnslow。

  Bythistimeyoumustbewellseasonedindangers;onemoreorlesswillmatteraslittletoyouastome。’

  ThenIroseandfollowedhimintothegreatcedar-panelledhall,wherethatverymorningIhadreceivedadorationasagod。

  NowI

  wasagodnolonger,butaprisonerontrialforhislife。

  UponthedaiswhereIhadstoodinthehourofmygodheadweregatheredthoseoftheprincesandcounsellorswhowereleftalive。

  Someofthem,likeGuatemoc,werecladinrentandbloodymail,othersintheircustomarydress,andoneinapriest’srobe。

  Theyhadonlytwothingsincommonamongthem,thesternnessoftheirfacesandthegreatnessoftheirrank,andtheysattherethisnightnottodecidemyfate,whichwasbutalittlething,buttotakecounselastohowtheymightexpeltheSpaniardsbeforethecitywasdestroyed。

  WhenIentered,amaninmail,whosatinthecentreofthehalfcircle,andinwhomIknewCuitlahua,whowouldbeemperorshouldMontezumadie,lookedupquicklyandsaid:

  ’Whoisthis,Guatemoc,thatyoubringwithyou?

  Ah!Iremember;

  theTeulethatwasthegodTezcat,andwhoescapedthesacrificeto-day。

  Listen,nobles。

  Whatistobedonewiththisman?

  Say,isitlawfulthathebeledbacktosacrifice?’

  Thenthepriestanswered:’Igrievetosaythatitisnotlawfulmostnobleprince。

  Thismanhaslainonthealtarofthegod,hehasevenbeenwoundedbytheholyknife。

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