第29章
加入书架 A- A+
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  mehewouldseemesafehome,which,bytheway,Iwasnot

  verywellpleasewith,supposinghemightdothattoknow

  whereIlivedandinquireintomycharacterandcircumstances。

  However,Iventuredthat,forallthatthepeoplethereor

  thereaboutknewofme,wastomyadvantage;andallthe

  characterhehadofme,afterhehadinquired,wasthatIwas

  awomanoffortune,andthatIwasaverymodest,soberbody;

  which,whethertrueornotinthemain,yetyoumayseehow

  necessaryitisforallwomenwhoexpectanythingintheworld,

  topreservethecharacteroftheirvirtue,evenwhenperhaps

  theymayhavesacrificedthethingitself。

  Ifound,andwasnotalittlepleasewithit,thathehadprovided

  asupperforme。

  Ifoundalsohelivedveryhandsomely,and

  hadahouseveryhandsomelyfurnished;allofwhichIwas

  rejoicedatindeed,forIlookeduponitasallmyown。

  Wehadnowasecondconferenceuponthesubject-matterof

  thelastconference。

  Helaidhisbusinessveryhomeindeed;he

  protestedhisaffectiontome,andindeedIhadnoroomto

  doubtit;hedeclaredthatitbeganfromthefirstmomentI

  talkedwithhim,andlongbeforeIhadmentionedleavingmy

  effectswithhim。

  ’’Tisnomatterwhenitbegan,’thoughtI;

  ’ifitwillbuthold,’twillbewellenough。’

  Hethentoldme

  howmuchtheofferIhadmadeoftrustinghimwithmyeffects,

  andleavingthemtohim,hadenragedhim。

  ’SoIintendedit

  should,’thoughtI,’butthenIthoughtyouhadbeenasingle

  mantoo。’

  Afterwehadsupped,Iobservedhepressedme

  veryhardtodrinktwoorthreeglassesofwine,which,however,

  Ideclined,butdrankoneglassortwo。

  Hethentoldmehe

  hadaproposaltomaketome,whichIshouldpromisehimI

  wouldnottakeillifIshouldnotgrantit。

  ItoldhimIhoped

  hewouldmakenodishonourableproposaltome,especially

  inhisownhouse,andthatifitwassuch,Idesiredhewould

  notproposeit,thatImightnotbeobligedtoofferany

  resentmenttohimthatdidnotbecometherespectIprofessed

  forhim,andthetrustIhadplacedinhimincomingtohishouse;

  andbeggedofhimhewouldgivemeleavetogoaway,and

  accordinglybegantoputonmyglovesandpreparetobegone,

  thoughatthesametimeInomoreintendeditthanheintended

  toletme。

  Well,heimportunedmenottotalkofgoing;heassuredme

  hehadnodishonourablethinginhisthoughtsaboutme,and

  wasveryfarfromofferinganythingtomethatwasdishonourable,

  andifIthoughtso,hewouldchoosetosaynomoreofit。

  ThatpartIdidnotrelishatall。

  ItoldhimIwasreadytohear

  anythingthathehadtosay,dependingthathewouldsaynothing

  unworthyofhimself,orunfitformetohear。

  Uponthis,he

  toldmehisproposalwasthis:

  thatIwouldmarryhim,though

  hehadnotyetobtainedthedivorcefromthewhorehiswife;

  andtosatisfymethathemeanthonourably,hewouldpromise

  nottodesiremetolivewithhim,orgotobedwithhimtillthe

  divorcewasobtained。

  Myheartsaidyettothisofferatfirst

  word,butitwasnecessarytoplaythehypocritealittlemore

  withhim;soIseemedtodeclinethemotionwithsomewarmth,

  andbesidesalittlecondemningthethingasunfair,toldhim

  thatsuchaproposalcouldbeofnosignification,buttoentangle

  usbothingreatdifficulties;forifheshouldnotatlastobtain

  thedivorce,yetwecouldnotdissolvethemarriage,neither

  couldweproceedinit;sothatifhewasdisappointedinthe

  divorce,Ilefthimtoconsiderwhataconditionweshould

  bothbein。

  Inshort,Icarriedontheargumentagainstthissofar,thatI

  convincedhimitwasnotaproposalthathadanysenseinit。

  Well,thenhewentfromittoanother,andthatwas,thatI

  wouldsignandsealacontractwithhim,conditioningtomarry

  himassoonasthedivorcewasobtained,andtobevoidifhe

  couldnotobtainit。

  Itoldhimsuchathingwasmorerationalthantheother;but

  asthiswasthefirsttimethateverIcouldimaginehimweak

  enoughtobeinearnestinthisaffair,IdidnotusetosayYes

  atfirstasking;Iwouldconsiderofit。

  Iplayedwiththisloverasananglerdoeswithatrout。

  Ifound

  Ihadhimfastonthehook,soIjestedwithhisnewproposal,

  andputhimoff。

  Itoldhimheknewlittleofme,andbadehim

  inquireaboutme;Ilethimalsogohomewithmetomylodging,

  thoughIwouldnotaskhimtogoin,forItoldhimitwasnot

  decent。

  Inshort,Iventuredtoavoidsigningacontractofmarriage,

  andthereasonwhyIdiditwasbecausetheladythathad

  invitedmesoearnestlytogowithherintoLancashireinsisted

  sopositivelyuponit,andpromisedmesuchgreatfortunes,

  andsuchfinethingsthere,thatIwastemptedtogoandtry。

  ’Perhaps,’saidI,’Imaymendmyselfverymuch’;andthenI

  madenoscrupleinmythoughtsofquittingmyhonestcitizen,

  whomIwasnotsomuchinlovewithasnottoleavehimfor

  aricher。

  Inaword,Iavoidedacontract;buttoldhimIwouldgointo

  thenorth,thatheshouldknowwheretowritetomebythe

  consequenceofthebusinessIhadentrustedwithhim;thatI

  wouldgivehimasufficientpledgeofmyrespectforhim,for

  IwouldleavealmostallIhadintheworldinhishands;and

  Iwouldthusfargivehimmyword,thatassoonashehad

  suedoutadivorcefromhisfirstwife,hewouldsendmean

  accountofit,IwouldcomeuptoLondon,andthatthenwe

  wouldtalkseriouslyofthematter。

  ItwasabasedesignIwentwith,thatImustconfess,though

  Iwasinvitedthitherwithadesignmuchworsethanminewas,

  asthesequelwilldiscover。

  Well,Iwentwithmyfriend,asI

  calledher,intoLancashire。

  Allthewaywewentshecaressed

  mewiththeutmostappearanceofasincere,undissembled

  affection;treatedme,exceptmycoach-hire,alltheway;and

  herbrotherbroughtagentleman’scoachtoWarringtonto

  receiveus,andwewerecarriedfromthencetoLiverpoolwith

  asmuchceremonyasIcoulddesire。

  Wewerealsoentertained

  atamerchant’shouseinLiverpoolthreeorfourdaysvery

  handsomely;Iforbeartotellhisname,becauseofwhatfollowed。

  Thenshetoldmeshewouldcarrymetoanuncle’shouseof

  hers,whereweshouldbenoblyentertained。

  Shedidso;her

  uncle,asshecalledhim,sentacoachandfourhorsesforus,

  andwewerecarriednearfortymilesIknownotwhither。

  Wecame,however,toagentleman’sseat,wherewasa

  numerousfamily,alargepark,extraordinarycompanyindeed,

  andwhereshewascalledcousin。

  Itoldherifshehadresolved

  tobringmeintosuchcompanyasthis,sheshouldhaveletme

  havepreparedmyself,andhavefurnishedmyselfwithbetter

  clothes。

  Theladiestooknoticeofthat,andtoldmevery

  genteellytheydidnotvaluepeopleintheircountrysomuch

  bytheirclothesastheydidinLondon;thattheircousinhad

  fullyinformedthemofmyquality,andthatIdidnotwant

  clothestosetmeoff;inshort,theyentertainedme,notlike

  whatIwas,butlikewhattheythoughtIhadbeen,namely,a

  widowladyofagreatfortune。

  ThefirstdiscoveryImadeherewas,thatthefamilywereall

  RomanCatholics,andthecousintoo,whomIcalledmyfriend;

  however,Imustsaythatnobodyintheworldcouldbehave

  bettertome,andIhadallthecivilityshownmethatIcould

  havehadifIhadbeenoftheiropinion。

  Thetruthis,Ihadnot

  somuchprincipleofanykindastobeniceinpointofreligion,

  andIpresentlylearnedtospeakfavourablyoftheRomish

  Church;particularly,ItoldthemIsawlittlebuttheprejudice

  ofeducationinallthedifferencethatwereamongChristians

  aboutreligion,andifithadsohappenedthatmyfatherhad

  beenaRomanCatholic,IdoubtednotbutIshouldhavebeen

  aswellpleasedwiththeirreligionasmyown。

  Thisobligedtheminthehighestdegree,andasIwasbesieged

  dayandnightwithgoodcompanyandpleasantdiscourse,so

  Ihadtwoorthreeoldladiesthatlayatmeuponthesubject

  ofreligiontoo。

  Iwassocomplaisant,thatthoughIwouldnot

  completelyengage,yetImadenoscrupletobepresentattheir

  mass,andtoconformtoalltheirgesturesastheyshowedme

  thepattern,butIwouldnotcometoocheap;sothatIonlyin

  themainencouragedthemtoexpectthatIwouldturnRoman

  Catholic,ifIwasinstructedintheCatholicdoctrineasthey

  calledit,andsothematterrested。

  Istayedhereaboutsixweeks;andthenmyconductorledme

  backtoacountryvillage,aboutsixmilesfromLiverpool,

  whereherbrotherasshecalledhimcametovisitmeinhis

  ownchariot,andinaverygoodfigure,withtwofootmenin

  agoodlivery;andthenextthingwastomakelovetome。

  As

  ithadhappenedtome,onewouldthinkIcouldnothavebeen

  cheated,andindeedIthoughtsomyself,havingasafecardat

  home,whichIresolvednottoquitunlessIcouldmendmyself

  verymuch。

  However,inallappearancethisbrotherwasa

  matchworthmylisteningto,andtheleasthisestatewasvalued

  atwas#1000ayear,butthesistersaiditwasworth#1500a

  year,and

  laymostofitinIreland。

  Ithatwasagreatfortune,andpassedforsuch,wasabove

  beingaskedhowmuchmyestatewas;andmyfalsefriend

  takingituponafoolishhearsay,hadraiseditfrom#500to

  andbythetimeshecameintothecountryshecalled

  it

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