第27章
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  awoman,because’tisevidentmencanbetheirownadvisers,

  andtheirowndirectors,andknowhowtoworkthemselves

  outofdifficultiesandintobusinessbetterthanwomen;butif

  awomanhasnofriendtocommunicateheraffairsto,andto

  adviseandassisther,’tistentoonebutsheisundone;nay,

  andthemoremoneyshehas,themoredangersheisinofbeing

  wrongedanddeceived;andthiswasmycaseintheaffairof

  thewhichIleftinthehandsofthegoldsmith,asabove,

  whosecredit,itseems,wasupontheebbbefore,butI,that

  hadnoknowledgeofthingsandnobodytoconsultwith,knew

  nothingofit,andsolostmymoney。

  Inthenextplace,whenawomanisthusleftdesolateandvoid

  ofcounsel,sheisjustlikeabagofmoneyorajeweldropped

  onthehighway,whichisapreytothenextcomer;ifamanof

  virtueanduprightprincipleshappenstofindit,hewillhaveit

  cried,andtheownermaycometohearofitagain;buthow

  manytimesshallsuchathingfallintohandsthatwillmakeno

  scrupleofseizingitfortheirown,tooncethatitshallcome

  intogoodhands?

  Thiswasevidentlymycase,forIwasnowaloose,unguided

  creature,andhadnohelp,noassistance,noguideformy

  conduct;IknewwhatIaimedatandwhatIwanted,butknew

  nothinghowtopursuetheendbydirectmeans。

  Iwantedto

  beplacedinasettlestateofliving,andhadIhappenedtomeet

  withasober,goodhusband,Ishouldhavebeenasfaithfuland

  trueawifetohimasvirtueitselfcouldhaveformed。

  IfIhad

  beenotherwise,thevicecameinalwaysatthedoorofnecessity,

  notatthedoorofinclination;andIunderstoodtoowell,by

  thewantofit,whatthevalueofasettledlifewas,todo

  anythingtoforfeitthefelicityofit;nay,Ishouldhavemade

  thebetterwifeforallthedifficultiesIhadpassedthrough,by

  agreatdeal;nordidIinanyofthetimethatIhadbeenawife

  givemyhusbandstheleastuneasinessonaccountofmy

  behaviour。

  Butallthiswasnothing;Ifoundnoencouragingprospect。

  I

  waited;Ilivedregularly,andwithasmuchfrugalityasbecame

  mycircumstances,butnothingoffered,nothingpresented,and

  themainstockwastedapace。

  WhattodoIknewnot;the

  terrorofapproachingpovertylayharduponmyspirits。

  Ihad

  somemoney,butwheretoplaceitIknewnot,norwouldthe

  interestofitmaintainme,atleastnotinLondon。

  Atlengthanewsceneopened。

  Therewasinthehousewhere

  Ilodgedanorth-countrywomanthatwentforagentlewoman,

  andnothingwasmorefrequentinherdiscoursethanheraccount

  ofthecheapnessofprovisions,andtheeasywayoflivingin

  hercountry;howplentifulandhowcheapeverythingwas,what

  goodcompanytheykept,andthelike;tillatlastItoldhershe

  almosttemptedmetogoandliveinhercountry;forIthat

  wasawidow,thoughIhadsufficienttoliveon,yethadno

  wayofincreasingit;andthatIfoundIcouldnotlivehere

  under#100ayear,unlessIkeptnocompany,noservant,made

  noappearance,andburiedmyselfinprivacy,asifIwasobliged

  toitbynecessity。

  Ishouldhaveobserved,thatshewasalwaysmadetobelieve,

  aseverybodyelsewas,thatIwasagreatfortune,oratleast

  thatIhadthreeorfourthousandpounds,ifnotmore,andall

  inmyownhands;andshewasmightysweetuponmewhen

  shethoughtmeinclinedintheleasttogointohercountry。

  ShesaidshehadasisterlivednearLiverpool,thatherbrother

  wasaconsiderablegentlemanthere,andhadagreatestate

  alsoinIreland;thatshewouldgodownthereinabouttwo

  months,andifIwouldgivehermycompanythither,Ishould

  beaswelcomeasherselfforamonthormoreasIpleased,

  tillIshouldseehowIlikedthecountry;andifIthoughtfitto

  livethere,shewouldundertaketheywouldtakecare,though

  theydidnotentertainlodgersthemselves,theywouldrecommend

  metosomeagreeablefamily,whereIshouldbeplacedtomy

  content。

  Ifthiswomanhadknownmyrealcircumstances,shewould

  neverhavelaidsomanysnares,andtakensomanywearysteps

  tocatchapoordesolatecreaturethatwasgoodforlittlewhen

  itwascaught;andindeedI,whosecasewasalmostdesperate,

  andthoughtIcouldnotbemuchworse,wasnotveryanxious

  aboutwhatmightbefallme,providedtheydidmenopersonal

  injury;soIsufferedmyself,thoughnotwithoutagreatdeal

  ofinvitationandgreatprofessionsofsincerefriendshipand

  realkindness——Isay,Isufferedmyselftobeprevaileduponto

  gowithher,andaccordinglyIpackedupmybaggage,andput

  myselfinapostureforajourney,thoughIdidnotabsolutely

  knowwhitherIwastogo。

  AndnowIfoundmyselfingreatdistress;whatlittleIhad

  intheworldwasallinmoney,exceptasbefore,alittleplate,

  somelinen,andmyclothes;asformyhouseholdstuff,Ihad

  littleornone,forIhadlivedalwaysinlodgings;butIhadnot

  onefriendintheworldwithwhomtotrustthatlittleIhad,or

  todirectmehowtodisposeofit,andthisperplexedmenight

  andday。

  Ithoughtofthebank,andoftheothercompaniesin

  London,butIhadnofriendtocommitthemanagementofit

  to,andkeepandcarryaboutwithmebankbills,tallies,orders,

  andsuchthings,Ilookeduponatasunsafe;thatiftheywere

  lost,mymoneywaslost,andthenIwasundone;and,onthe

  otherhand,Imightberobbedandperhapsmurderedinastrange

  placeforthem。

  Thisperplexedmestrangely,andwhattodoI

  knewnot。

  ItcameinmythoughtsonemorningthatIwouldgotothe

  bankmyself,whereIhadoftenbeentoreceivetheinterestof

  somebillsIhad,whichhadinterestpayableonthem,andwhere

  Ihadfoundaclerk,towhomIappliedmyself,veryhonestand

  justtome,andparticularlysofaironetimethatwhenIhad

  mistoldmymoney,andtakenlessthanmydue,andwascoming

  away,hesetmetorightsandgavemetherest,whichhemight

  haveputintohisownpocket。

  Iwenttohimandrepresentedmycaseveryplainly,andasked

  ifhewouldtroublehimselftobemyadviser,whowasapoor

  friendlesswidow,andknewnotwhattodo。

  Hetoldme,if

  Idesiredhisopinionofanythingwithinthereachofhisbusiness,

  hewoulddohisendeavourthatIshouldnotbewronged,but

  thathewouldalsohelpmetoagoodsoberpersonwhowas

  agravemanofhisacquaintance,whowasaclerkinsuch

  businesstoo,thoughnotintheirhouse,whosejudgmentwas

  good,andwhosehonestyImightdependupon。

  ’For,’added

  he,’Iwillanswerforhim,andforeverystephetakes;ifhe

  wrongsyou,madam,ofonefarthing,itshalllieatmydoor,I

  willmakeitgood;andhedelightstoassistpeopleinsuch

  cases——hedoesitasanactofcharity。’

  Iwasalittleatastandinthisdiscourse;butaftersomepause

  ItoldhimIhadratherhavedependeduponhim,becauseIhad

  foundhimhonest,butifthatcouldnotbe,Iwouldtakehis

  recommendationsoonerthananyone’selse。

  ’Idaresay,

  madam,’sayshe,’thatyouwillbeaswellsatisfiedwithmy

  friendaswithme,andheisthoroughlyabletoassistyou,

  whichIamnot。’

  Itseemshehadhishandsfullofthebusiness

  ofthebank,andhadengagedtomeddlewithnootherbusiness

  thatthatofhisoffice,whichIheardafterwards,butdidnot

  understandthen。

  Headded,thathisfriendshouldtakenothing

  ofmeforhisadviceorassistance,andthisindeedencouraged

  meverymuch。

  Heappointedthesameevening,afterthebankwasshutand

  businessover,formetomeethimandhisfriend。

  Andindeed

  assoonasIsawhisfriend,andhebeganbuttotalkofthe

  affair,IwasfullysatisfiedthatIhadaveryhonestmantodeal

  with;hiscountenancespokeit,andhischaracter,asIheard

  afterwards,waseverywheresogood,thatIhadnoroomfor

  anymore

  doubtsuponme。

  Afterthefirstmeeting,inwhichIonlysaidwhatIhadsaid

  before,weparted,andheappointedmetocomethenextday

  tohim,tellingmeImightinthemeantimesatisfymyselfof

  himbyinquiry,which,however,Iknewnothowwelltodo,

  havingnoacquaintancemyself。

  AccordinglyImethimthenextday,whenIenteredmore

  freelywithhimintomycase。

  Itoldhimmycircumstancesat

  large:

  thatIwasawidowcomeoverfromAmerican,perfectly

  desolateandfriendless;thatIhadalittlemoney,andbuta

  little,andwasalmostdistractedforfearoflosingit,havingno

  friendintheworldtotrustwiththemanagementofit;thatI

  wasgoingintothenorthofEnglandtolivecheap,thatmy

  stockmightnotwaste;thatIwouldwillinglylodgemymoney

  inthebank,butthatIdurstnotcarrythebillsaboutme,and

  thelike,asabove;andhowtocorrespondaboutit,orwith

  whom,Iknewnot。

  HetoldmeImightlodgethemoneyinthebankasanaccount,

  anditsbeingenteredintothebookswouldentitlemetothe

  moneyatanytime,andifIwasinthenorthImightdrawbills

  onthecashierandreceiveitwhenIwould;butthatthenit

  wouldbeesteemedasrunningcash,andthebankwouldgive

  nointerestforit;thatImightbuystockwithit,andsoitwould

  lieinstoreforme,butthatthenifIwantedtodisposeifit,I

  mustcomeuptotownonpurposetotransferit,andevenit

  wouldbewithsomedifficultyIshouldreceivethehalf-yearly

  dividend,unlessIwashereinperson,orhadsomefriendI

  couldtrustwithhavingthestockinhimnametodoitforme,

  andthatwouldhavethesamedifficultyinitasbefore;and

  withthathelookedhardatmeandsmiledalittle。

  Atlast,says

  he,’Whydoyounotgetaheadsteward,madam,thatmaytake

  youandyourmoneytogetherintokeeping,andthenyouwould

  havethetroubletakenoffyourhands?’

  ’Ay,sir,andthemoney

  too,itmaybe,’saidI;’fortrulyIfindthehazardthatwayisas

  muchas’tist’otherway’;butIrememberIsaidsecretlytomyself,

  ’Iwishyouwouldaskmethequestionfairly,Iwouldconsider

  veryseriouslyonitbeforeIsaidNo。’

  Hewentonagoodwaywithme,andIthoughtonceortwice

  hewasinearnest,buttomyrealaffliction,Ifoundatlasthe

  hadawife;butwhenheownedhehadawifeheshookhishead,

  andsaidwithsomeconcern,thatindeedhehadawife,andno

  wife。

  Ibegantothinkhehadbeenintheconditionofmylate

  lover,andthathiswifehadbeendistemperedorlunatic,or

  somesuchthing。

  However,wehadnotmuchmorediscourse

  atthattime,buthetoldmehewasintoomuchhurryof

  businessthen,butthatifIwouldcomehometohishouseafter

  theirbusinesswasover,hewouldbythattimeconsiderwhat

  mightbedoneforme,toputmyaffairsinapostureofsecurity。

  ItoldhimIwouldcome,anddesiredtoknowwherehelived。

  Hegavemeadirectioninwriting,andwhenhegaveitmehe

  readittome,andsaid,’There’tis,madam,ifyoudaretrust

  yourselfwithme。’

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