第12章
加入书架 A- A+
点击下载App,搜索"MOLL FLANDERS",免费读到尾

  wasamaninahurryofpublicaffairsandgettingmoney,

  seldomathome,thoughtfulofthemainchance,butleftall

  thosethingstohiswife。

  Youmayeasilybelieve,thatwhentheplotwasthus,asthey

  thought,brokeout,andthateveryonethoughttheyknewhow

  thingswerecarried,itwasnotsodifficultorsodangerousfor

  theelderbrother,whomnobodysuspectedofanything,tohave

  afreeraccesstomethanbefore;nay,themother,whichwas

  justashewished,proposedittohimtotalkwithMrs。Betty。

  ’Foritmaybe,son,’saidshe,’youmayseefartherintothe

  thingthanI,andseeifyouthinkshehasbeensopositiveas

  Robinsaysshehasbeen,orno。’

  Thiswasaswellashecould

  wish,andhe,asitwere,yieldingtotalkwithmeathismother’s

  request,shebroughtmetohimintoherownchamber,toldme

  hersonhadsomebusinesswithmeatherrequest,anddesired

  metobeverysincerewithhim,andthensheleftustogether,

  andhewentandshutthedoorafterher。

  Hecamebacktomeandtookmeinhisarms,andkissedme

  verytenderly;buttoldmehehadalongdiscoursetohold

  withme,anditwasnotcometothatcrisis,thatIshouldmake

  myselfhappyormiserableaslongasIlived;thatthething

  wasnowgonesofar,thatifIcouldnotcomplywithhisdesire,

  wewouldbothberuined。

  Thenhetoldthewholestory

  betweenRobin,ashecalledhim,andhismotherandsisters

  andhimself,asitisabove。

  ’Andnow,dearchild,’sayshe,

  ’considerwhatitwillbetomarryagentlemanofagoodfamily,

  ingoodcircumstances,andwiththeconsentofthewholehouse,

  andtoenjoyallthatheworldcangiveyou;andwhat,onthe

  otherhand,tobesunkintothedarkcircumstancesofawoman

  thathaslostherreputation;andthatthoughIshallbeaprivate

  friendtoyouwhileIlive,yetasIshallbesuspectedalways,

  soyouwillbeafraidtoseeme,andIshallbeafraidtoownyou。’

  Hegavemenotimetoreply,butwentonwithmethus:

  ’What

  hashappenedbetweenus,child,solongaswebothagreetodo

  so,maybeburiedandforgotten。

  Ishallalwaysbeyoursincere

  friend,withoutanyinclinationtonearerintimacy,whenyou

  becomemysister;andweshallhaveallthehonestpartof

  conversationwithoutanyreproachesbetweenusofhaving

  doneamiss。

  Ibegofyoutoconsiderit,andtonotstandinthe

  wayofyourownsafetyandprosperity;andtosatisfyyouthat

  Iamsincere,’addedhe,’Ihereofferyou#500inmoney,to

  makeyousomeamendsforthefreedomsIhavetakenwith

  you,whichweshalllookuponassomeofthefolliesofour

  lives,

  which’tishopedwemayrepentof。’

  Hespokethisinsomuchmoremovingtermsthanitispossible

  formetoexpress,andwithsomuchgreaterforceofargument

  thanIcanrepeat,thatIonlyrecommendittothosewhoread

  thestory,tosuppose,thatasheheldmeaboveanhouranda

  halfinthatdiscourse,soheansweredallmyobjections,and

  fortifiedhisdiscoursewithalltheargumentsthathumanwit

  andartcoulddevise。

  Icannotsay,however,thatanythinghesaidmadeimpression

  enoughuponmesoastogivemeanythoughtofthematter,

  tillhetoldmeatlastveryplainly,thatifIrefused,hewas

  sorrytoaddthathecouldnevergoonwithmeinthatstation

  aswestoodbefore;thatthoughhelovedmeaswellasever,

  andthatIwasasagreeabletohimasever,yetsenseofvirtue

  hadnotsofarforsakenhimastosufferhimtoliewitha

  womanthathisbrothercourtedtomakehiswife;andifhe

  tookhisleaveofme,withadenialinthisaffair,whateverhe

  mightdoformeinthepointofsupport,groundedonhisfirst

  engagementofmaintainingme,yethewouldnothavemebe

  surprisedthathewasobligedtotellmehecouldnotallow

  himselftoseemeanymore;andthat,indeed,Icouldnot

  expectitofhim。

  Ireceivedthislastpartwithsometokenofsurpriseand

  disorder,andhadmuchadotoavoidsinkingdown,forindeed

  Ilovedhimtoanextravagancenoteasytoimagine;buthe

  perceivedmydisorder。

  Heentreatedmetoconsiderseriously

  ofit;assuredmethatitwastheonlywaytopreserveour

  mutualaffection;thatinthisstationwemightloveasfriends,

  withtheutmostpassion,andwithaloveofrelationuntainted,

  freefromourjustreproaches,andfreefromotherpeople’s

  suspicions;thatheshouldeveracknowledgehishappiness

  owingtome;thathewouldbedebtortomeaslongashe

  lived,andwouldbepayingthatdebtaslongashehadbreath。

  Thushewroughtmeup,inshort,toakindofhesitationinthe

  matter;havingthedangersononesiderepresentedinlively

  figures,andindeed,heightenedbymyimaginationofbeing

  turnedouttothewideworldamerecast-offwhore,foritwas

  noless,andperhapsexposedassuch,withlittletoprovidefor

  myself,withnofriend,noacquaintanceinthewholeworld,

  outofthattown,andthereIcouldnotpretendtostay。

  All

  thisterrifiedmetothelastdegree,andhetookcareuponall

  occasionstolayithometomeintheworstcoloursthatitcould

  bepossibletobedrawnin。

  Ontheotherhand,hefailednotto

  setforththeeasy,prosperouslifewhichIwasgoingtolive。

  HeansweredallthatIcouldobjectfromaffection,andfrom

  formerengagements,withtellingmethenecessitythatwas

  beforeusoftakingothermeasuresnow;andastohispromises

  ofmarriage,thenatureofthings,hesaid,hadputanendto

  that,bytheprobabilityofmybeinghisbrother’swife,before

  thetimetowhichhispromisesallreferred。

  Thus,inaword,Imaysay,hereasonedmeoutofmyreason;

  heconqueredallmyarguments,andIbegantoseeadanger

  thatIwasin,whichIhadnotconsideredofbefore,andthat

  was,ofbeingdroppedbybothofthemandleftaloneinthe

  worldtoshiftformyself。

  This,andhispersuasion,atlengthprevailedwithmeto

  consent,thoughwithsomuchreluctance,thatitwaseasyto

  seeIshouldgotochurchlikeabeartothestake。

  Ihadsome

  littleapprehensionsaboutme,too,lestmynewspouse,who,

  bytheway,Ihadnottheleastaffectionfor,shouldbeskillful

  enoughtochallengemeonanotheraccount,uponourfirst

  comingtobedtogether。

  Butwhetherhediditwithdesignor

  not,Iknownot,buthiselderbrothertookcaretomakehim

  verymuchfuddledbeforehewenttobed,sothatIhadthe

  satisfactionofadrunkenbedfellowthefirstnight。

  Howhe

  diditIknownot,butIconcludedthathecertainlycontrived

  it,thathisbrothermightbeabletomakenojudgmentofthe

  differencebetweenamaidandamarriedwoman;nordidhe

  everentertainanynotionsofit,ordisturbhisthoughtsaboutit。

  IshouldgobackalittleheretowhereIleftoff。

  Theelder

  brotherhavingthusmanagedme,hisnextbusinesswasto

  managehismother,andheneverlefttillhehadbroughther

  toacquiesceandbepassiveinthething,evenwithout

  acquaintingthefather,otherthanbypostletters;sothatshe

  consentedtoourmarryingprivately,andleavinghertomange

  thefatherafterwards。

  Thenhecajoledwithhisbrother,andpersuadedhimwhat

  servicehehaddonehim,andhowhehadbroughthismother

  toconsent,which,thoughtrue,wasnotindeeddonetoserve

  him,buttoservehimself;butthusdiligentlydidhecheathim,

  andhadthethanksofafaithfulfriendforshiftingoffhiswhore

  intohisbrother’sarmsforawife。

  Socertainlydoesinterest

  banishallmannerofaffection,andsonaturallydomengive

  uphonourandjustice,humanity,andevenChristianity,to

  securethemselves。

  ImustnowcomebacktobrotherRobin,aswealwayscalled

  him,whohavinggothismother’sconsent,asabove,came

  bigwiththenewstome,andtoldmethewholestoryofit,

  withasinceritysovisible,thatImustconfessitgrievedme

  thatImustbetheinstrumenttoabusesohonestagentleman。

  Buttherewasnoremedy;hewouldhaveme,andIwasnot

  obligedtotellhimthatIwashisbrother’swhore,thoughIhad

  nootherwaytoputhimoff;soIcamegraduallyintoit,tohis

  satisfaction,andbeholdweweremarried。

  Modestyforbidsmetorevealthesecretsofthemarriage-bed,

  butnothingcouldhavehappenedmoresuitabletomy

  circumstancesthanthat,asabove,myhusbandwassofuddled

  whenhecametobed,thathecouldnotrememberinthe

  morningwhetherhehadhadanyconversationwithmeorno,

  andIwasobligedtotellhimhehad,thoughinrealityhehad

  not,thatImightbesurehecouldmaketoinquiryabout

  anythingelse。

  Itconcernsthestoryinhandverylittletoenterintothefurther

  particularsofthefamily,orofmyself,forthefiveyearsthatI

  livedwiththishusband,onlytoobservethatIhadtwochildren

  byhim,andthatattheendoffiveyearshedied。

  Hehadbeen

  reallyaverygoodhusbandtome,andwelivedveryagreeably

  together;butashehadnotreceivedmuchfromthem,andhad

  inthelittletimehelivedacquirednogreatmatters,somy

  circumstanceswerenotgreat,norwasImuchmendedbythe

  match。

  Indeed,Ihadpreservedtheelderbrother’sbondsto

  me,topay#500,whichheofferedmeformyconsenttomarry

  hisbrother;andthis,withwhatIhadsavedofthemoneyhe

  formerlygaveme,aboutasmuchmorebymyhusband,leftme

  awidowwithabout#1200inmypocket。

  Mytwochildrenwere,indeed,takenhappilyoffmyhandsby

  myhusband’sfatherandmother,andthat,bytheway,wasall

  theygotbyMrs。Betty。

  IconfessIwasnotsuitablyaffectedwiththelossofmyhusband,

  norindeedcanIsaythatIeverlovedhimasIoughttohave

  done,oraswasproportionabletothegoodusageIhadfrom

  him,forhewasatender,kind,good-humouredmanasany

  womancoulddesire;buthisbrotherbeingsoalwaysinmy

  sight,atleastwhilewewereinthecountry,wasacontinual

  snaretome,andIneverwasinbedwithmyhusbandbutI

  wishedmyselfinthearmsofhisbrother;andthoughhisbrother

  neverofferedmetheleastkindnessthatwayafterourmarriage,

  butcarrieditjustasabrotherouttodo,yetitwasimpossible

  formetodosotohim;inshort,Icommittedadulteryandincest

  withhimeverydayinmydesires,which,withoutdoubt,wasas

  effectuallycriminalinthenatureoftheguiltasifIhadactually

  doneit。

点击下载App,搜索"MOLL FLANDERS",免费读到尾