Edward，withhorrorandalarm，beheldtheanimalmakinghisrounds，andthoughtwithgreatanxietyupontheappropriatemotto，BewaretheBear；’’butatthesametimeplainlyforesaw，thatasnoneoftheguestsscrupledtodohimthisextraordinaryhonour，arefusalonhisparttopledgetheircourtesywouldbeextremelyillreceived。Resolving，therefore，tosubmittothislastpieceoftyranny，andthentoquitthetable，ifpossible，andconfidinginthestrengthofhisconstitution，hedidjusticetothecompanyinthecontentsoftheBlessedBear，andfeltlessinconveniencefromthedraughtthanhecouldpossiblyhaveexpected。Theothers，whosetimehadbeenmoreactivelyemployed，begantoshowsymptomsofinnovation，-
thegoodwinediditsgoodoffice。’’Thefrostofetiquette，Southey’sMadoc。
andprideofbirth，begantogivewaybeforethegenialblessingsofthisbenignconstellation，andtheformalappellativeswithwhichthethreedignitarieshadhithertoaddressedeachother，werenowfamiliarlyabbreviatedintoTully，Bally，andKillie。
Whenafewroundshadpassed，thetwolatter，afterwhisperingtogether，cravedpermissionajoyfulhearingforEdwardtoaskthegrace-cup。This，aftersomedelay，wasatlengthproduced，andWaverleyconcludedthattheorgiesofBacchuswereterminatedfortheevening。Hewasnevermoremistakeninhislife。
Astheguestshadlefttheirhorsesatthesmallinn，or_change-house，_asitwascalled，ofthevillage，theBaroncouldnot，inpoliteness，avoidwalkingwiththemuptheavenue，andWaverley，fromthesamemotive，andtoenjoy，afterthisfeverishrevel，thecoolsummerevening，attendedtheparty。
ButwhentheyarrivedatLuckieMacleary’s，theLairdsofBalmawhappleandKillancureitdeclaredtheirdeterminationtoacknowledgetheirsenseofthehospitalityofTully-Veolan，bypartakingwiththeirentertainerandhisguestCaptainWaverley，whattheytechnicallycalled_deochandoruis，_astirrup-cup，tothehonouroftheBaron’sroof-tree。
NoteE。Stirrup-cup。
Itmustbenoticed，thattheBailie，knowingbyexperiencethattheday’sjoviality，whichhadbeenhithertosustainedattheexpenseofhispatronmightterminatepartlyathisown，hadmountedhisspavinedgreypony，and，betweengaietyofheart，andalarmforbeinghookedintoareckoning，spurredhimintoahobblingcanteratrotwasoutofthequestion，andhadalreadyclearedthevillage。Theothersenteredthechange-house，leadingEdwardinunresistingsubmission；forhislandlordwhisperedhim，thattodemurtosuchanoverturewouldbeconstruedintoahighmisdemeanouragainstthe_legesconviviales，_orregulationsofgenialcompotation。WidowMaclearyseemedtohaveexpectedthisvisit，aswellshemight，foritwastheusualconsummationofmerrybouts，notonlyatTully-Veolan，butatmostothergentlemen’shousesinScotland，SixtyYearssince。Thegueststherebyatonceacquittedthemselvesoftheirburdenofgratitudefortheirentertainer’skindness，encouragedthetradeofhischange-house，didhonourtotheplacewhichaffordedharbourtotheirhorses，andindemnifiedthemselvesforthepreviousrestraintsimposedbyprivatehospitality，byspending，whatFalstaffcallsthesweetofthenight，inthegeniallicenseofatavern。
Accordingly，infullexpectationofthesedistinguishedguests，LuckieMaclearyhadsweptherhouseforthefirsttimethisfortnight，temperedherturf-firetosuchaheatastheseasonrequiredinherdamphovelevenatMidsummer，setforthherdealtablenewlywashed，proppeditslamefootwithafragmentofturf，arrangedfourorfivestoolsofhugeandclumsyform，uponthesiteswhichbestsuitedtheinequalitiesofherclayfloor；andhaving，moreover，putonhercleantoy，rokelay，andscarletplaid，gravelyawaitedthearrivalofthecompany，infullhopeofcustomandprofit。WhentheywereseatedunderthesootyraftersofLuckieMacleary’sonlyapartment，thicklytapestriedwithcobwebs，theirhostess，whohadalreadytakenhercuefromtheLairdofBalmawhapple，appearedwithahugepewtermeasuring-pot，containingatleastthreeEnglishquarts，familiarlydenominateda_TappitHen，_andwhich，inthelanguageofthehostess，reamedi。e。，mantledwithexcellentclaret，justdrawnfromthecask。
ItwassoonplainthatwhatcrumbsofreasontheBearhadnotdevoured，weretobepickedupbytheHen；buttheconfusionwhichappearedtoprevailfavouredEdward’sresolutiontoevadethegailycirclingglass。Theothersbegantotalkthickandatonce，eachperforminghisownpartintheconversation，withouttheleastrespecttohisneighbour。TheBaronofBradwardinesungFrench_chansons--boire，_andspoutedpiecesofLatin；Killancureittalked，inasteadyunalterabledullkey，oftop-dressingandbottom-dressing，andyear-olds，andgimmers，Thishasbeencensuredasananachronism；anditmustbeconfessedthatagricultureofthiskindwasunknowntotheScotchSixtyYearssince。
anddinmonts，andstots，andrunts，andkyloes，andaproposedturnpike-act；whileBalmawhapple，innotesexaltedaboveboth，extolledhishorse，hishawks，andagreyhoundcalledWhistler。Inthemiddleofthisdin，theBaronrepeatedlyimploredsilence；andwhenatlengththeinstinctofpolitedisciplinesofarprevailed，thatforamomentheobtainedit，hehastenedtobeseechtheirattentionuntoamilitaryariette，whichwasaparticularfavouriteoftheMarechalDucdeBerwick；’’then，imitating，aswellashecould，themannerandtoneofaFrenchmusquetaire，heimmediatelycommenced，-
Moncurvolage，dit-elle，N’estpaspourvous，garonEstpourunhommedeguerre，Quiabarbeanmenton。
Lon，Lon，Laridon。
Quiportchapeauplume，Soulierrougetalon，Quejouedelaflute，Aussideviolon。
Lon，Lon，Laridon。
Balmawhapplecouldholdnolonger，butbrokeinwithwhathecalledad-dgoodsong，composedbyGibbyGaethroughwi’t，thepiperofCupar；and，withoutwastingmoretime，struckup-
It’supGlenbarchan’sbraesIgaed，Ando’erthebentofKilliebraid，AndmonyawearycastImade，Tocuittlethemuirfowl’stail。
_Suumcuique。_ThissnatchofaballadwascomposedbyAndrewMacDonald，theingeniousandunfortunateauthorofVimonda。
TheBaron，whosevoicewasdrownedinthelouderandmoreobstreperousstrainsofBalmawhapple，nowdroppedthecompetition，butcontinuedtohum，Lon，Lon，Laridon，andtoregardthesuccessfulcandidatefortheattentionofthecompanywithaneyeofdisdain，whileBalmawhappleproceeded，-
Ifupabonnyblack-cockshouldspring，Towhistlehimdownwi’asluginhiswing，Andstraphimontomylunziestring，RightseldomwouldIfail。
Afteranineffectualattempttorecoverthesecondverse，hesungthefirstoveragain；and，inprosecutionofhistriumph，declaredtherewasmoresenseinthatthaninallthe_derry-dongs_ofFrance，andFifeshiretothebootofit。’’TheBarononlyansweredwithalongpinchofsnuff，andaglanceofinfinitecontempt。Butthosenobleallies，theBearandtheHen，hademancipatedtheyounglairdfromthehabitualreverenceinwhichheheldBradwardineatothertimes。Hepronouncedtheclaret_shilpit，_anddemandedbrandywithgreatvociferation。
Itwasbrought；andnowtheDemonofPoliticsenviedeventheharmonyarisingfromthisDutchconcert，merelybecausetherewasnotawrathfulnoteinthestrangecompoundofsoundswhichitproduced。Inspiredbyher，theLairdofBalmawhapple，nowsuperiortothenodsandwinkswithwhichtheBaronofBradwardine，indelicacytoEdward，hadhithertocheckedhisenteringuponpoliticaldiscussion，demandedabumper，withthelungsofaStentor，tothelittlegentlemaninblackvelvetwhodidsuchservicein1702，andmaythewhitehorsebreakhisneckoveramoundofhismaking！’’
Edwardwasnotatthatmomentclear-headedenoughtorememberthatKingWilliam’sfall，whichoccasionedhisdeath，wassaidtobeowingtohishorsestumblingatamole-hill；yetfeltinclinedtotakeumbrageatatoast，whichseemed，fromtheglanceofBalmawhapple’seye，tohaveapeculiaranduncivilreferencetotheGovernmentwhichheserved。But，erehecouldinterfere，theBaronofBradwardinehadtakenupthequarrel。Sir，’’hesaid，whatevermysentiments，_tanquamprivatus，_maybeinsuchmatters，Ishallnottamelyendureyoursayinganythingthatmayimpingeuponthehonourablefeelingsofagentlemanundermyroof。Sir，ifyouhavenorespectforthelawsofurbanity，doyenotrespectthemilitaryoath，the_sacramentummilitare，_bywhicheveryofficerisboundtothestandardsunderwhichheisenrolled？LookatTitusLivius，whathesaysofthoseRomansoldierswhoweresounhappyas_exueresacramentum，_-torenouncetheirlegionaryoath；butyouareignorant，sir，alikeofancienthistoryandmoderncourtesy。’’
Notsoignorantasyewouldpronounceme，’’roaredBalmawhapple。
IkenweelthatyoumeanthesolemnLeagueandCovenant；butifalltheWhigsinhellhadtakenthe’’
HeretheBaronandWaverleybothspokeatonce，theformercallingout，Besilent，sir！yenotonlyshowyourignorancebutdisgraceyournativecountrybeforeastrangerandanEnglishman；’’andWaverley，atthesamemoment，entreatingMr。Bradwardinetopermithimtoreplytoanaffrontwhichseemedlevelledathimpersonally。ButtheBaronwasexaltedbywine，wrath，andscorn，aboveallsublunaryconsiderations。
Icraveyoutobehushed，CaptainWaverley；youareelsewhere，peradventure，_suijuris，_-foris-familiated，thatis，andentitled，itmaybe，tothinkandresentforyourself；butinmydomain，inthispoorBaronyofBradwardine，andunderthisroof，whichis_quasi_mine，beingheldbytacitrelocationbyatenantatwill，Iam_inlocoparentis_toyou，andboundtoseeyouscathless-Andforyou，Mr。FalconerofBalmawhapple，Iwarnye，letmeseenomoreaberrationsfromthepathsofgoodmanners。’’
AndItellyou，Mr。CosmoComyneBradwardine，ofBradwardineandTully-Veolan，’’retortedthesportsman，inhugedisdain，thatI’llmakeamoor-cockofthemanthatrefusesmytoast，whetheritbeacrop-earedEnglishWhigwi’ablackribbandathislug，oranewhadesertshisainfriendstoclawfavourwi’theratsofHanover。’’
Inaninstantbothrapierswerebrandished，andsomedesperatepassesexchanged。Balmawhapplewasyoung，stout，andactive；
buttheBaron，infinitelymoremasterofhisweapon，would，likeSirTobyBelch，havetickledhisopponentothergatesthanhedid，hadhenotbeenundertheinfluenceofUrsaMajor。
Edwardrushedforwardtointerferebetweenthecombatants，buttheprostratebulkoftheLairdofKillancureit，overwhichhestumbled，interceptedhispassage。HowKillancureithappenedtobeinthisrecumbentpostureatsointerestingamoment，wasneveraccuratelyknown。Somethoughthewasabouttoensconcehimselfunderthetable；hehimselfallegedthathestumbledintheactofliftingajoint-stool，topreventmischief，byknockingdownBalmawhapple。Bethatasitmay，ifreadieraidthaneitherhisorWaverley’shadnotinterposed，therewouldcertainlyhavebeenbloodshed。Butthewell-knownclashofswords，whichwasnostrangertoherdwelling，arousedLuckieMaclearyasshesatquietlybeyondthehallanorearthenpartitionofthecottage，witheyesemployedonBoston’sCrookoftheLot，whileherideaswereengagedinsummingupthereckoning。Sheboldlyrushedin，withtheshrillexpostulation，Wadtheirhonoursslayaneanotherthere，andbringdiscreditonanhonestwidow-woman’shouse，whentherewasa’theleelandinthecountrytofightupon？’’aremonstrancewhichshesecondedbyflingingherplaidwithgreatdexterityovertheweaponsofthecombatants。Theservantsbythistimerushedin，andbeing，bygreatchance，tolerablysober，separatedtheincensedopponents，withtheassistanceofEdwardandKillancureit。
ThelatterledoffBalmawhapple，cursing，swearing，andvowingrevengeagainsteveryWhig，Presbyterian，andfanaticinEnglandandScotland，fromJohn-o’-Groat’stotheLand’sEnd，andwithdifficultygothimtohorse。Ourhero，withtheassistanceofSaundersSaunderson，escortedtheBaronofBradwardinetohisowndwelling，butcouldnotprevailuponhimtoretiretobeduntilhehadmadealongandlearnedapologyfortheeventsoftheevening，ofwhich，however，therewasnotawordintelligible，exceptsomethingabouttheCentaursandtheLapith。