Weallknowahundredwhosecoatsareverywellmade,andascorewhohaveexcellentmanners,andoneortwohappybeingswhoarewhattheycallintheinnercircles,andhaveshotintotheverycentreandbull’s-eyeofthefashion;butofgentlemenhowmany?Letustakealittlescrapofpaperandeachmakeouthislist。
MyfriendtheMajorIwrite,withoutanydoubt,inmine。Hehadverylonglegs,ayellowface,andaslightlisp,whichatfirstwasratherridiculous。Buthisthoughtswerejust,hisbrainswerefairlygood,hislifewashonestandpure,andhisheartwarmandhumble。Hecertainlyhadverylargehandsandfeet,whichthetwoGeorgeOsbornesusedtocaricatureandlaughat;andtheirjeersandlaughterperhapsledpoorlittleEmmyastrayastohisworth。Buthavewenotallbeenmisledaboutourheroesandchangedouropinionsahundredtimes?Emmy,inthishappytime,foundthathersunderwentaverygreatchangeinrespectofthemeritsoftheMajor。
Perhapsitwasthehappiesttimeofboththeirlives,indeed,iftheydidbutknowit——andwhodoes?Whichofuscanpointoutandsaythatwastheculmination——
thatwasthesummitofhumanjoy?Butatallevents,thiscouplewereverydecentlycontented,andenjoyedaspleasantasummertourasanypairthatleftEnglandthatyear。Georgywasalwayspresentattheplay,butitwastheMajorwhoputEmmy’sshawlonaftertheentertainment;andinthewalksandexcursionstheyoungladwouldbeonahead,andupatower-stairoratree,whilstthesoberercouplewerebelow,theMajorsmokinghiscigarwithgreatplacidityandconstancy,whilstEmmysketchedthesiteortheruin。ItwasonthisverytourthatI,thepresentwriterofahistoryofwhicheverywordistrue,hadthepleasuretoseethemfirstandtomaketheiracquaintance。
ItwasatthelittlecomfortableDucaltownofPumpernickelthatveryplacewhereSirPittCrawleyhadbeensodistinguishedasanattache;butthatwasinearlyearlydays,andbeforethenewsoftheBattleofAusterlitzsentalltheEnglishdiplomatistsinGermanytotherightaboutthatIfirstsawColonelDobbinandhisparty。TheyhadarrivedwiththecarriageandcourierattheErbprinzHotel,thebestofthetown,andthewholepartydinedatthetabled’hote。EverybodyremarkedthemajestyofJosandtheknowingwayinwhichhesipped,orrathersucked,theJohannisberger,whichheorderedfordinner。Thelittleboy,too,weobserved,hadafamousappetite,andconsumedschinken,andbraten,andkartoffeln,andcranberryjam,andsalad,andpudding,androastfowls,andsweetmeats,withagallantrythatdidhonourtohisnation。Afteraboutfifteendishes,heconcludedtherepastwithdessert,someofwhichheevencarriedoutofdoors,forsomeyounggentlemenattable,amusedwithhiscoolnessandgallantfree-and-easymanner,inducedhimtopocketahandfulofmacaroons,whichhediscussedonhiswaytothetheatre,whithereverybodywentinthecheerysociallittleGermanplace。
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