BLOOMWinksatthebystanders。Ibetshe’sabonnylassie。
THEODOREPUREFOYInfishingcapandoilskinjacket。Heemploysamechanicaldevicetofrustratethesacredendsofnature。
THEVEILEDSIBYLStabsherself。Myherogod！Shedies。
Manymostattractiveandenthusiasticwomenalsocommitsuicidebystabbing，drowning，drinkingprussicacid，aconite，arsenic，openingtheirveins，refusingfood，castingthemselvesundersteamrollers，fromthetopofNelson’sPillar，intothegreatvatofGuinness’sbrewery，asphyxiatingthemselvesbyplacingtheirheadsingasovens，hangingthemselvesinstylishgarters，leapingfromwindowsofdifferentstoreys。
ALEXANDERJ。DOWIEViolently。FellowchristiansandantiBloomites，themancalledBloomisfromtherootsofhell，adisgracetochristianmen。AfiendishlibertinefromhisearliestyearsthisstinkinggoatofMendesgaveprecocioussignsofinfantiledebaucheryrecallingthecitiesoftheplain，withadissolutegranddam。Thisvilehypocrite，bronzedwithinfamy，isthewhitebullmentionedintheApocalypse。AworshipperoftheScarletWoman，intrigueistheverybreathofhisnostrils。Thestakefaggotsandthecaldronofboilingoilareforhim。Caliban！
THEMOBLynchhim！Roasthim！He’sasbadasParnellwas。MrFox！
MotherGroganthrowsherbootatBloom。SeveralshopkeepersfromupperandlowerDorsetstreetthrowobjectsoflittleornocommercialvalue，hambones，condensedmilktins，unsaleablecabbage，stalebread，sheeps’tails，oddpiecesoffat。
BLOOMExcitedly。Thisismidsummermadness，someghastlyjokeagain。Byheaven，Iamguiltlessastheunsunnedsnow！ItwasmybrotherHenry。Heismydouble。Helivesinnumber2Dolphin’sBarn。Slander，theviper，haswrongfullyaccusedme。Fellowcountrymen，sgenlinnbanbatacoisdegancapall。Icallonmyoldfriend，DrMalachiMulligan，sexspecialisttogivemedicaltestimonyonmybehalf。
DRMULLIGANInmotorjerkin，greenmotorogglesonhisbrow。
DrBloomisbisexuallyabnormal。HehasrecentlyescapedfromDrEustace’sprivateasylumfordementedgentlemen。Bornoutofbedlockhereditaryepilepsyispresent，theconsequenceofunbridledlust。Tracesofelephantiasishavebeendiscoveredamonghisascendants。Therearemarkedsymptomsofchronicexhibitionism。Ambidexterityisalsolatent。Heisprematurelybaldfromselfabuse，perverselyidealisticinconsequence，areformedrake，andhasmetalteeth。InconsequenceofafamilycomplexhehastemporarilylosthismemoryandIbelievehimtobemoresinnedagainstthansinning。
Ihavemadeapervaginalexaminationand，afterapplicationoftheacidtestto5427anal，axillary，pectoralandpubichairs，Ideclarehimtobevirgointacta。
Bloomholdshishighgradehatoverhisgenitalorgans。
DRMADDENHypsospadiaisalsomarked。IntheinterestofcominggenerationsIsuggestthatthepartsaffectedshouldbepreservedinspiritsofwineinthenationalteratologicalmuseum。
DRCROTTHERSIhaveexaminedthepatient’surine。Itisalbuminoid。
Salivationisinsufficient，thepatellarreflexintermittent。
DRPUNCHCOSTELLOThefetorjudaicusismostperceptible。
DRDIXONReadsabillofhealth。ProfessorBloomisafinishedexampleofthenewwomanlyman。Hismoralnatureissimpleandlovable。
Manyhavefoundhimadearman，adearperson。Heisaratherquaintfellowonthewhole，coythoughnotfeeble-mindedinthemedicalsense。Hehaswrittenareallybeautifulletter，apoeminitself，tothecourtmissionaryoftheReformedPriests’ProtectionSocietywhichclearsupeverything。
HeispracticallyatotalabstainerandIcanaffirmthathesleepsonastrawlitterandeatsthemostSpartanfood，colddriedgrocer’speas。
HewearsahairshirtwinterandsummerandscourgeshimselfeverySaturday。
Hewas，Iunderstand，atonetimeafirstclassmisdemeanantinGlencreereformatory。Anotherreportstatesthathewasaveryposthumouschild。
Iappealforclemencyinthenameofthemostsacredwordourvocalorganshaveeverbeencalledupontospeak。Heisabouttohaveababy。
Generalcommotionandcompassion。Womenfaint。AwealthyAmericanmakesastreetcollectionforBloom。Goldandsilvercoins，bankcheques，banknotes，jewels，treasurybonds，maturingbillsofexchange，I。O。U。s，weddingrings’watch-chains，lockets，necklacesandbraceletsarerapidlycollected。
BLOOMO，Isowanttobeamother。
MRSTHORNTONInnursetender’sgown。Embracemetight，dear。
You’llbesoonoverit。Tight，dear。
Bloomembraceshertightlyandbearseightmaleyellowandwhitechildren。Theyappearonaredcarpetedstaircaseadornedwithexpensiveplants。Allarehandsome，withvaluablemetallicfaces，wellmade，respectablydressedandwellconducted，speakingfivemodernlanguagesfluentlyandinterestedinvariousartsandsciences。Eachhashisnameprintedinlegiblelettersonhisshirtfront：Nasodoro，Goldfinger，Chrysostomos，Maindoré；e，Silversmile，SilberselberVifargent，Panargros。Theyareimmediatelyappointedtopositionsofhighpublictrustinseveraldifferentcountriesasmanagingdirectorsofbanks，trafficmanagersofrailways，chairmenoflimitedliabilitycompanies，vicechairmenofhotelsyndicates。
AVOICEBloom，areyoutheMessiahbenJosephorbenDavid？
BLOOMDarkly。Youhavesaidit。
BROTHERBUZZThenperformamiracle。
BANTAMLYONSProphesywhowillwintheSaintLeger。
Bloomwalksonanet，covershislefteyewithhisleftear，passesthroughseveralwalls，climbsNelson’sPillar，hangsfromthetheledgebyhiseyelids，eatstwelvedozenoystersshellsincluded，healsseveralsufferersfromkingsevil，contractshisfacesoastoresemblemanyhistoricalpersonages，lordBeaconsfield，lordByron，WatTyler，MosesofEgypt，MosesMaimonides，MosesMendelssohn，HenryIrving，RipvanWinkle，Rossuth，JeanJacquesRousseau，BaronLeopoldRothschild，RobinsonCrusoe，SherlockHolmes，Pasteur，turnseachfootsimultaneouslyindifferentdirections，bidsthetideturnback，eclipsesthesunbyextendinghislittlefinger。
BRINI，PAPALNUNCIOInpapalzouave’suniform，steelcuirassesasbreastplate，armplates，thighplates，legplates，largeprofanemoustachesandbrownpapermitre。Leopoldiautemgeneratio。MosesbegatNoahandNoahbegatEunuchandEunuchbegatO’HalloranandO’HalloranbegatGuggenheimandGuggenheimbegatAgendathandAgendathbegatNetaimandNetaimbegatLeHirschandLeHirschbegatJesurumandJesurumbegatMacKayandMacKaybegatOstrolopskyandOstrolopskybegatSmerdozandSmerdozbegatWeissandWeissbegatSchwarzandSchwarzbegatAdrianopoliandAdrianopolibeganAranjuezandAranjuezbegatLewyLawsonandLewyLawsonbegatIchabudonosorandIchabudonosorbegatO’DonnellMagnusandO’DonnellMagnusbegatChristbaumandChristbaumbegatBenMaimunandBenMaimunbegatDustyRhodesandDustyRhodesbegatBenamorandBenamorbegatJones-SmithandJones-SmithbegatSavorgnanovichandSavorgnanovichbegatJasperstoneandJasperstonebegatVingtetuniemeandVingtetuniemebegatSzombathelyandSzombathelybegatViragandViragbegatBloometvocabiturnomeneiusEmmanuel。
ADEADHANDWritesonthewall。Bloomisacod。ACRABInbushranger’skit。WhatdidyoudointhecattlecreepbehindKilbarrack？
AFEMALEINFANTShakesarattle。AndunderBallyboughbridge？
AHOLLYBUSHAndinthedevil’sglen？
BLOOMBlushesfuriouslyalloverfromfronttonates，threetearsfallingfromhislefteye。Sparemypast。
THEIRISHEVICTEDTENANTSInbodycoats，kneebreeches，withDonnybrookfairshillelaghs。Sjambokhim！
Bloomwithasses’earsseatshimselfinthepillorywithcrossedarms，hisfeetprotruding。HewhistlesDonGiovanni，acenarteco。Artaneorphans，joininghands，caperroundhim。GirlsofthePrisonGateMission，joininghands，caperroundintheoppositedirection。
THEARTANEORPHANSYoubig，youbog，youdirtydog！
Youthinktheladiesloveyou！THEPRISONGATEGIRLSIfyouseekayTellhimhemaySeeyouinteaTellhimfromme。HORNBLOWERInephodandhuntingcap，announces。AndheshallcarrythesinsofthepeopletoAzazel，thespiritwhichisinthewilderness，andtoLilith，thenighthag。Andtheyshallstonehimanddefilehim，yea，allfromAgendathNetaimandfromMizraim，thelandofHam。
AllthepeoplecastsoftpantomimestonesatBloom。Manybonafidetravellersandownerlessdogscomenearhimanddefilehim。MastianskyandCitronapproachingaberdines，wearinglongearlocks。TheywagtheirbeardsatBloom。
MASTIANSKYANDCITRONBelial！LaemleinofIstria！thefalseMessiah！
Abulafia！
GeorgeS。Mesias，Bloom’stailor，appears，atailor’sgooseunderhisarm，presentingabill。
MESIASToalterationonepairtrouserselevenshillings。
BLOOMRubshishandscheerfully。Justlikeoldtimes。PoorBloom！
ReubenJ。Dodd，blackbeardedIscariot，badshepherd，bearingonhisshouldersthedrownedcorpseofhisson，approachesthepillory。
REUBENJ。Whispershoarsely。Thesqueakisout。Asplitisgonefortheflatties。Nipthefirstrattler。
THEFIREBRIGADEPflaap！
BROTHERBUZZInvestsBloominayellowhabitwithembroideryofpaintedflamesandhighpointedhat。Heplacesabagofgunpowderroundhisneckandhandshimovertothecivilpower，saying。Forgivehimhistrespasses。
LieutenantMyersoftheDublinFireBrigadebygeneralrequestsetsfiretoBloom。Lamentations。
THECITIZENThankheaven！
BLOOMInaseamlessgarmentmarkedI。H。S。standsuprightamidphoenixflames。Weepnotforme，OdaughtersofErin。
HeexhibitstoDublinreporterstracesofburning。ThedaughtersofErin，inblackgarmentswithlaceprayerbooksandlonglightedcandlesintheirhands，kneeldownandpray。
THEDAUGHTERSOFERINKidneyofBloom，prayforus。FloweroftheBath，prayforus。MentorofMenton，prayforus。CanvasserfortheFreeman，prayforus。CharitableMason，prayforus。WanderingSoap，prayforus。
SweetsofSin，prayforus。MusicwithoutWords，prayforus。ReproveroftheCitizen，prayforus。FriendofallFrillies，prayforus。MidwifeMostMerciful，prayforus。PotatoPreservativeagainstPlagueandPestilence，prayforus。
Achoirofsixhundredvoices，conductedbyMrVincentO’Brien，singstheAlleluiachorus，accompaniedontheorganbyJosephGlynn。Bloombecomesmute，shrunken，carbonised。
ZOETalkawaytillyou’reblackintheface。
BLOOMIncaubeenwithclaypipestuckintheband，dustybrogues，anemigrant’sredhandkerchiefbundleinhishand，leadingablackbogoakpigbyasugaun，withasmileinhiseye。Letmebegoingnow，womanofthehouse，forbyallthegoatsinConnemaraI’mafterhavingthefatherandmotherofabating。Withatearinhiseye。Allinsanity。
Patriotism，sorrowforthedead，music，futureoftherace。Tobeornottobe。Life’sdreamiso’er。Enditpeacefully。Theycanliveon。Hegazesfarawaymournfully。Iamruined。Afewpastillesofaconite。
Theblindsdrawn。Aletter。Thenliebacktorest。Hebreathessoftly。
Nomore。Ihavelived。Fare。Farewell。
ZOEStiffly，herfingerinherneckfillet。Honest？Tillthenexttime。Shesneers。Supposeyougotupthewrongsideofthebedorcametooquickwithyourbestgirl。O，Icanreadyourthoughts。
BLOOMBitterly。Manandwoman，love，whatisit？Acorkandbottle。
ZOEInsuddensulks。Ihatearotterthat’sinsincere。Giveableedingwhoreachance。
BLOOMRepentantly。Iamverydisagreeable。Youareanecessaryevil。Whereareyoufrom？London？
ZOEGlibly。Hog’sNortonwherethepigsplaytheorgans。I’mYorkshireborn。Sheholdshishandwhichisfeelingforhernipple。
Isay，TommyTittlemouse。Stopthatandbeginworse。Haveyoucashforashorttime？Tenshillings？
BLOOMSmiles，nodsslowly。More，houri，more。
ZOEAndmore’smother？Shepatshimoffhandedlywithvelvetpaws。
Areyoucomingintothemusicroomtoseeournewpianola？ComeandI’llpeeloff。
BLOOMFeelinghisocciputdubiouslywiththeunparalleledembarrassmentofaharassedpedlargaugingthesymmetryofherpeeledpears。Somebodywouldbedreadfullyjealousifsheknew。Thegreeneyedmonster。Earnestly。
Youknowhowdifficultitis。Ineedn’ttellyou。
ZOEFlattered。Whattheeyecan’tseetheheartcan’tgrievefor。Shepatshim。Come。
BLOOMLaughingwitch！Thehandthatrocksthecradle。
ZOEBabby！