第10章
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  TheeffectofthiscuriouscapriceoffancyasIthoughtitthenwasnotofanaturetosetmeatmyease,duringafirstinterviewwithMissFairlie。Thefewkindwordsofwelcomewhichshespokefoundmehardlyself-possessedenoughtothankherinthecustomaryphrasesofreply。Observingmyhesitation,andnodoubtattributingit,naturallyenough,tosomemomentaryshynessonmypart,MissHalcombetookthebusinessoftalking,aseasilyandreadilyasusual,intoherownhands。

  `Lookthere,MrHartright,’shesaid,pointingtothesketchbookonthetable,andtothelittledelicatewanderinghandthatwasstilltriflingwithit。`Surelyyouwillacknowledgethatyourmodelpupilisfoundatlast?Themomentshehearsthatyouareinthehouse,sheseizesherinestimablesketch-book,looksuniversalNaturestraightintheface,andlongstobegin!’

  MissFairlielaughedwithareadygood-humour,whichbrokeoutasbrightlyasifithadbeenpartofthesunshineaboveus,overherlovelyface。

  `Imustnottakecredittomyselfwherenocreditisdue,’shesaid,herclear,truthfulblueeyeslookingalternatelyatMissHalcombeandatme。`FondasIamofdrawing,IamsoconsciousofmyownignorancethatIammoreafraidthananxioustobegin。NowIknowyouarehere,MrHartright,Ifindmyselflookingovermysketches,asIusedtolookovermylessonswhenIwasalittlegirl,andwhenIwassadlyafraidthatI

  shouldturnoutnotfittobeheard。’

  Shemadetheconfessionveryprettilyandsimply,and,withquaint,childishearnestness,drewthesketch-hookawayclosetoherownsideofthetable。MissHalcombecuttheknotofthelittleembarrassmentforthwith,inherresolute,downrightway。

  `Good,bad,orindifferent,’shesaid,`thepupil’ssketchesmustpassthroughthefieryordealofthemaster’sjudgment——andthere’sanendtoit。Supposewetakethemwithusinthecarriage,Laura,andletMrHartrightseethem,forthefirsttime,undercircumstancesofperpetualjoltingandinterruption?Ifwecanonlyconfusehimallthroughthedrive,betweenNatureasitis,whenhelooksupattheview,andNatureasitisnot,whenhelooksdownagainatoursketch-books,weshalldrivehimintothelastdesperaterefugeofpayinguscompliments,andshallslipthroughhisprofessionalfingerswithourpetfeathersofvanityallunruffled。’

  `IhopeMrHartrightwillpaymenocompliments,’saidMissFairlie,asweallleftthesummer-house。

  `MayIventuretoinquirewhyyouexpressthathope?’Iasked。

  `BecauseIshallbelieveallthatyousaytome,’sheansweredsimply。

  Inthosefewwordssheunconsciouslygavemethekeytoherwholecharacter:

  tothatgeneroustrustinotherswhich,inhernature,grewinnocentlyoutofthesenseofherowntruth。Ionlyknewitintuitivelythen。Iknowitbyexperiencenow。

  WemerelywaitedtorousegoodMrsVeseyfromtheplacewhichshestilloccupiedatthedesertedluncheon-table,beforeweenteredtheopencarriageforourpromiseddrive。TheoldladyandMissHalcombeoccupiedthebackseat,andMissFairlieandIsattogetherinfront,withthesketch-bookopenbetweenus,fairlyexhibitedatlasttomyprofessionaleyes。Allseriouscriticismonthedrawings,evenifIhadbeendisposedtovolunteerit,wasrenderedimpossiblebyMissHalcombe’slivelyresolutiontoseenothingbuttheridiculoussideoftheFineArts,aspractisedbyherself,hersister,andladiesingeneral。IcanremembertheconversationthatpassedfarmoreeasilythanthesketchesthatImechanicallylookedover。

  Thatpartofthetalk,especially,inwhichMissFairlietookanyshare,isstillasvividlyimpressedonmymemoryasifIhadhearditonlyafewhoursago。

  Yes!letmeacknowledgethatonthefirstdayIletthecharmofherpresenceluremefromtherecollectionofmyselfandmyposition。Themosttriflingofthequestionsthatsheputtome,onthesubjectofusingherpencilandmixinghercolours;theslightestalterationsofexpressioninthelovelyeyesthatlookedintominewithsuchanearnestdesiretolearnallthatIcouldteach,andtodiscoverallthatIcouldshow,attractedmoreofmyattentionthanthefinestviewwepassedthrough,orthegrandestchangesoflightandshade,astheyflowedintoeachotheroverthewavingmoorlandandthelevelbeach。Atanytime,andunderanycircumstancesofhumaninterest,isitnotstrangetoseehowlittlerealholdtheobjectsofthenaturalworldamidwhichwelivecangainonourheartsandminds?

  WegotoNatureforcomfortintrouble,andsympathyinjoy,onlyinbooks。

  Admirationofthosebeautiesoftheinanimateworld,whichmodernpoetrysolargelyandsoeloquentlydescribes,isnot,eveninthebestofus,oneoftheoriginalinstinctsofournature。Aschildren,wenoneofuspossessit。Nouninstructedmanorwomanpossessesit。Thosewhoselivesaremostexclusivelypassedamidtheever-changingwondersofseaandlandarealsothosewhoaremostuniversallyinsensibletoeveryaspectofNaturenotdirectlyassociatedwiththehumaninterestoftheircalling。Ourcapacityofappreciatingthebeautiesoftheearthweliveonis,intruth,oneofthecivilisedaccomplishmentswhichwealllearnasanArt;and,more,thatverycapacityisrarelypractisedbyanyofusexceptwhenourmindsaremostindolentandmostunoccupied。HowmuchsharehavetheattractionsofNatureeverhadinthepleasurableorpainfulinterestsandemotionsofourselvesorourfriends?Whatspacedotheyeveroccupyinthethousandlittlenarrativesofpersonalexperiencewhichpasseverydaybywordofmouthfromoneofustotheother?Allthatourmindscancompass,allthatourheartscanlearn,canbeaccomplishedwithequalcertainty,equalprofit,andequalsatisfactiontoourselves,inthepoorestasintherichestprospectthatthefaceoftheearthcanshow。Thereissurelyareasonforthiswantofinbornsympathybetweenthecreatureandthecreationaroundit,areasonwhichmayperhapsbefoundinthewidely-differingdestiniesofmanandhisearthlysphere。Thegrandestmountainprospectthattheeyecanrangeoverisappointedtoannihilation。Thesmallesthumaninterestthatthepureheartcanfeelisappointedtoimmortality。

  Wehadbeenoutnearlythreehours,whenthecarriageagainpassedthroughthegatesofLimmeridgeHouse。

  OnourwaybackIhadlettheladiessettleforthemselvesthefirstpointofviewwhichtheyweretosketch,undermyinstructions,ontheafternoonofthenextday。Whentheywithdrewtodressfordinner,andwhenIwasaloneagaininmylittlesitting-room,myspiritsseemedtoleavemeonasudden。Ifeltillateaseanddissatisfiedwithmyself,Ihardlyknewwhy。PerhapsIwasnowconsciousforthefirsttimeofhavingenjoyedourdrivetoomuchinthecharacterofaguest,andtoolittleinthecharacterofadrawing-master。Perhapsthatstrangesenseofsomethingwanting,eitherinMissFairlieorinmyself,whichhadperplexedmewhenIwasfirstintroducedtoher,hauntedmestill。Anyhow,itwasarelieftomyspiritswhenthedinner-hourcalledmeoutofmysolitude,andtookmebacktothesocietyoftheladiesofthehouse。

  Iwasstruck,onenteringthedrawing-room,bythecuriouscontrast,ratherinmaterialthanincolour,ofthedresseswhichtheynowwore。

  WhileMrsVeseyandMissHalcombewererichlycladeachinthemannermostbecomingtoherage,thefirstinsilver-grey,andthesecondinthatdelicateprimrose-yellowcolourwhichmatchessowellwithadarkcomplexionandblackhair,MissFairliewasunpretendinglyandalmostpoorlydressedinplainwhitemuslin。Itwasspotlesslypure:itwasbeautifullyputon;butstillitwasthesortofdresswhichthewifeordaughterofapoormannighthaveworn,anditmadeher,sofarasexternalswent,looklessaffluentincircumstancesthanherowngoverness。Atalaterperiod,whenIlearnttoknowmoreofMissFairlie’scharacter,Idiscoveredthatthiscuriouscontrast,onthewrongside,wasduetohernaturaldelicacyoffeelingandnaturalintensityofaversiontotheslightestpersonaldisplayofherownwealth。NeitherMrsVeseynorMissHalcombecouldeverinducehertolettheadvantageindressdesertthetwoladieswhowerepoor,toleantothesideoftheoneladywhowasrich。

  Whenthedinnerwasoverwereturnedtogethertothedrawing-room。AlthoughMrFairlieemulatingthemagnificentcondescensionofthemonarchwhohadpickedupTitian’sbrushforhimhadinstructedhisbutlertoconsultmywishesinrelationtothewinethatImightpreferafterdinner,Iwasresoluteenoughtoresistthetemptationofsittinginsolitarygrandeuramongbottlesofmyownchoosing,andsensibleenoughtoasktheladies’

  permissiontoleavethetablewiththemhabitually,onthecivilisedforeignplan,duringtheperiodofmyresidenceatLimmeridgeHouse。

  Thedrawing-room,towhichwehadnowwithdrawnfortherestoftheevening,wasontheground-floor,andwasofthesameshapeandsizeasthebreakfast-room。Largeglassdoorsatthelowerendopenedontoaterrace,beautifullyornamentedalongitswholelengthwithaprofusionofflowers。

  Thesoft,hazytwilightwasjustshadingleafandblossomalikeintoharmonywithitsownsoberhuesasweenteredtheroom,andthesweeteveningscentoftheflowersmetuswithitsfragrantwelcomethroughtheopenglassdoors。GoodMrsVeseyalwaysthefirstofthepartytositdowntookpossessionofanarmchairinacorner,anddozedoffcomfortablytosleep。

  AtmyrequestMissFairlieplacedherselfatthepiano。AsIfollowedhertoaseatneartheinstrument,IsawMissHalcomberetireintoarecessofoneofthesidewindows,toproceedwiththesearchthroughhermother’slettersbythelastquietraysoftheeveninglight。

  Howvividlythatpeacefulhome-pictureofthedrawing-roomcomesbacktomewhileIwrite!fromtheplacewhereIsatIcouldseeMissHalcombe’sgracefulfigure,halfofitinsoftlight,halfinmysteriousshadow,bendingintentlyoverthelettersinherlap;while,nearertome,thefairprofileoftheplayeratthepianowasjustdelicatelydefinedagainstthefaintlydeepeningbackgroundoftheinnerwalloftheroom。Outside,ontheterrace,theclusteringflowersandlonggrassesandcreeperswavedsogentlyinthelighteveningair,thatthesoundoftheirrustlingneverreachedus。

  Theskywaswithoutacloud,andthedawningmysteryofmoonlightbegantotremblealreadyintheregionoftheeasternheaven。Thesenseofpeaceandseclusionsoothedallthoughtandfeelingintoarapt,unearthlyrepose;

  andthebalmyquiet,thatdeepenedeverwiththedeepeninglight,seemedtohoveroveruswithagentlerinfluencestill,whentherestoleuponitfromthepianotheheavenlytendernessofthemusicofMozart。Itwasaneveningofsightsandsoundsnevertoforget。

  Weallsatsilentintheplaceswehadchosen——MrsVeseystillsleeping,MissFairliestillplaying,MissHalcombestillreading——tillthelightfailedus。Bythistimethemoonhadstolenroundtotheterrace,andsoft,mysteriousraysoflightwereslantingalreadyacrossthelowerendoftheroom。Thechangefromthetwilightobscuritywassobeautifulthatwebanishedthelamps,bycommonconsent,whentheservantbroughtthemin,andkeptthelargeroomunlighted,exceptbytheglimmerofthetwocandlesatthepiano。

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