第71章
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  DuringthissameabsencewhathadMrsGoodhewandoldMissWrighttakentodoingbutturningtowardstheeastwhilerepeatingtheBelief?Theobalddislikedthisevenworsethanchanting。Whenhesaidsomethingaboutitinatimidwayatdinnerafterservice,Charlottesaid,“Really,papadear,youMUSTtaketocallingitthe’Creed’andnotthe’Belief’“;andTheobaldwincedimpatientlyandsnortedmeekdefiance,butthespiritofherauntsJaneandElizawasstronginCharlotte,andthethingwastoosmalltofightabout,andheturneditoffwithalaugh。“AsforCharlotte。”thoughtChristina,“IbelievesheknowsEVERYTHING。”SoMrsGoodhewandoldMissWrightcontinuedtoturntotheeastduringthetimetheCreedwassaid,andby-and-byothersfollowedtheirexample,anderelongthefewwhohadstoodoutyieldedandturnedeastwardtoo;andthenTheobaldmadeasthoughhehadthoughtitallveryrightandproperfromthefirst,butlikeithedidnot。By-and-byCharlottetriedtomakehimsay“Alleluia“insteadof“Hallelujah。”butthiswasgoingtoofar,andTheobaldturned,andshegotfrightenedandranaway。

  Andtheychangedthedoublechantsforsingleones,andalteredthempsalmbypsalm,andinthemiddleofpsalms,justwhereacursoryreaderwouldseenoreasonwhytheyshoulddoso,theychangedfrommajortominorandfromminorbacktomajor;andthentheygot“HymnsAncientandModern。”and,asIhavesaid,theyrobbedhimofhisbelovedbands,andtheymadehimpreachinasurplice,andhemusthavecelebrationoftheHolyCommuniononceamonthinsteadofonlyfivetimesintheyearasheretofore,andhestruggledinvainagainsttheunseeninfluencewhichhefelttobeworkinginseasonandoutofseasonagainstallthathehadbeenaccustomedtoconsidermostdistinctiveofhisparty。Whereitwas,orwhatitwas,heknewnot,norexactlywhatitwoulddonext,butheknewexceedinglywellthatgowherehewoulditwasundermininghim;thatitwastoopersistentforhim;thatChristinaandCharlottelikeditagreatdealbetterthanhedid,andthatitcouldendinnothingbutRome。Easterdecorationsindeed!Christmasdecorations——inreason——wereproperenough,butEasterdecorations!well,itmightlasthistime。

  ThiswasthecoursethingshadtakenintheChurchofEnglandduringthelastfortyyears。Thesethasbeensteadilyinonedirection。

  Afewmenwhoknewwhattheywantedmadecats’pawsoftheChristmasandtheCharlottes,andtheChristmasandtheCharlottesmadecats’

  pawsoftheMrsGoodhewsandtheoldMissWrights,andMrsGoodhewsandoldMissWrightstoldtheMrGoodhewsandyoungMissWrightswhattheyshoulddo,andwhentheMrGoodhewsandtheyoungMissWrightsdiditthelittleGoodhewsandtherestofthespiritualflockdidastheydid,andtheTheobaldswentfornothing;stepbystep,daybyday,yearbyyear,parishbyparish,diocesebydiocesethiswashowitwasdone。AndyettheChurchofEnglandlookswithnofriendlyeyesuponthetheoryofEvolutionorDescentwithModification。

  Myherothoughtoverthesethings,andrememberedmanyaruseonthepartofChristinaandCharlotte,andmanyadetailofthestrugglewhichIcannotfurtherinterruptmystorytoreferto,andherememberedhisfather’sfavouriteretortthatitcouldonlyendinRome。Whenhewasaboyhehadfirmlybelievedthis,buthesmilednowashethoughtofanotheralternativeclearenoughtohimself,butsohorriblethatithadnotevenoccurredtoTheobald——Imeanthetopplingoverofthewholesystem。AtthattimehewelcomedthehopethattheabsurditiesandunrealitiesoftheChurchwouldendinherdownfall。Sincethenhehascometothinkverydifferently,notasbelievinginthecowjumpingoverthemoonmorethanheusedto,ormore,probably,thannine-tenthsoftheclergythemselves——whoknowaswellashedoesthattheiroutwardandvisiblesymbolsareoutofdate——butbecauseheknowsthebafflingcomplexityoftheproblemwhenitcomestodecidingwhatisactuallytobedone。

  Also,nowthathehasseenthemmoreclosely,heknowsbetterthenatureofthosewolvesinsheep’sclothing,whoarethirstingforthebloodoftheirvictim,andexultingsoclamorouslyoveritsanticipatedearlyfallintotheirclutches。ThespiritbehindtheChurchistrue,thoughherletter——trueonce——isnowtruenolonger。

  ThespiritbehindtheHighPriestsofScienceisaslyingasitsletter。TheTheobalds,whodowhattheydobecauseitseemstobethecorrectthing,butwhointheirheartsneitherlikeitnorbelieveinit,areinrealitytheleastdangerousofallclassestothepeaceandlibertiesofmankind。Themantofearishewhogoesatthingswiththecocksurenessofpushingvulgarityandself-

  conceit。ThesearenotviceswhichcanbejustlylaidtothechargeoftheEnglishclergy。

  ManyofthefarmerscameuptoErnestwhenservicewasover,andshookhandswithhim。Hefoundeveryoneknewofhishavingcomeintoafortune。ThefactwasthatTheobaldhadimmediatelytoldtwoorthreeofthegreatestgossipsinthevillage,andthestorywasnotlonginspreading。“Itsimplifiedmatters。”hehadsaidtohimself,“agooddeal。”ErnestwasciviltoMrsGoodhewforherhusband’ssake,buthegaveMissWrightthecutdirect,forheknewthatshewasonlyCharlotteindisguise。

  Aweekpassedslowlyaway。TwoorthreetimesthefamilytookthesacramenttogetherroundChristina’sdeath-bed。Theobald’simpatiencebecamemoreandmoretransparentdaily,butfortunatelyChristinawhoevenifshehadbeenwellwouldhavebeenreadytoshuthereyestoitbecameweakerandlesscoherentinmindalso,sothatshehardly,ifatall,perceivedit。AfterErnesthadbeeninthehouseaboutaweekhismotherfellintoacomatosestatewhichlastedacoupleofdays,andintheendwentawaysopeacefullythatitwasliketheblendingofseaandskyinmid-oceanuponasofthazydaywhennonecansaywheretheearthendsandtheheavensbegin。Indeedshediedtotherealitiesoflifewithlesspainthanshehadwakedfrommanyofitsillusions。

  “Shehasbeenthecomfortandmainstayofmylifeformorethanthirtyyears。”saidTheobaldassoonasallwasover,“butonecouldnotwishitprolonged。”andheburiedhisfaceinhishandkerchieftoconcealhiswantofemotion。

  Ernestcamebacktotownthedayafterhismother’sdeath,andreturnedtothefuneralaccompaniedbymyself。HewantedmetoseehisfatherinordertopreventanypossiblemisapprehensionaboutMissPontifex’sintentions,andIwassuchanoldfriendofthefamilythatmypresenceatChristina’sfuneralwouldsurprisenoone。WithallherfaultsIhadalwaysratherlikedChristina。ShewouldhavechoppedErnestoranyoneelseintolittlepiecesofmincemeattogratifytheslightestwishofherhusband,butshewouldnothavechoppedhimupforanyoneelse,andsolongashedidnotcrosshershewasveryfondofhim。Bynatureshewasofaneventemper,morewillingtobepleasedthanruffled,veryreadytodoagood-naturedaction,provideditdidnotcosthermuchexertion,norinvolveexpensetoTheobald。Herownlittlepursedidnotmatter;anyonemighthaveasmuchofthatasheorshecouldgetaftershehadreservedwhatwasabsolutelynecessaryforherdress。IcouldnothearofherendasErnestdescribedittomewithoutfeelingverycompassionatetowardsher,indeedherownsoncouldhardlyhavefeltmoreso;Iatonce,therefore,consentedtogodowntothefuneral;perhapsIwasalsoinfluencedbyadesiretoseeCharlotteandJoey,inwhomIfeltinterestedonhearingwhatmygodsonhadtoldme。

  IfoundTheobaldlookingremarkablywell。Everyonesaidhewasbearingitsobeautifully。Hedidindeedonceortwiceshakehisheadandsaythathiswifehadbeenthecomfortandmainstayofhislifeforoverthirtyyears,buttherethematterended。IstayedoverthenextdaywhichwasSunday,andtookmydepartureonthefollowingmorningafterhavingtoldTheobaldallthathissonwishedmetotellhim。TheobaldaskedmetohelphimwithChristina’sepitaph。

  “Iwouldsay。”saidhe,“aslittleaspossible;eulogiesofthedepartedareinmostcasesbothunnecessaryanduntrue。Christina’sepitaphshallcontainnothingwhichshallbeeithertheoneortheother。Ishouldgivehername,thedatesofherbirthanddeath,andofcoursesayshewasmywife,andthenIthinkIshouldwindupwithasimpletext——herfavouriteoneforexample,noneindeedcouldbemoreappropriate,’BlessedarethepureinheartfortheyshallseeGod。’“

  IsaidIthoughtthiswouldbeverynice,anditwassettled。SoErnestwassenttogivetheordertoMrProsser,thestonemasoninthenearesttown,whosaiditcamefrom“theBeetitudes。”

  OnourwaytotownErnestbroachedhisplansforspendingthenextyearortwo。Iwantedhimtotryandgetmoreintosocietyagain,buthebrushedthisasideatonceastheverylastthinghehadafancyfor。Forsocietyindeedofallsorts,exceptofcoursethatofafewintimatefriends,hehadanunconquerableaversion。“I

  alwaysdidhatethosepeople。”hesaid,“andtheyalwayshavehatedandalwayswillhateme。IamanIshmaelbyinstinctasmuchasbyaccidentofcircumstances,butifIkeepoutofsocietyIshallbelessvulnerablethanIshmaelsgenerallyare。Themomentamangoesintosociety,hebecomesvulnerableallround。”

  Iwasverysorrytohearhimtalkinthisway;forwhateverstrengthamanmayhaveheshouldsurelybeabletomakemoreofitifheactinconcertthanalone。Isaidthis。

  “Idon’tcare。”heanswered,“whetherImakethemostofmystrengthornot;Idon’tknowwhetherIhaveanystrength,butifIhaveI

  daresayitwillfindsomewayofexertingitself。IwillliveasI

  likeliving,notasotherpeoplewouldlikemetolive;thankstomyauntandyouIcanaffordtheluxuryofaquietunobtrusivelifeofself-indulgence。”saidhelaughing,“andImeantohaveit。YouknowIlikewriting。”headdedafterapauseofsomeminutes,“I

  havebeenascribblerforyears。IfIamtocometotheforeatallitmustbebywriting。”

  Ihadalreadylongsincecometothatconclusionmyself。

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