Whilethisdialoguewasgoingon，thedriverwasmostignominiouslyleadingthehorse，bythebridle，uptothehousewiththereddoor，whichMasterBardellhadalreadyopened。Herewasameanandlowwayofarrivingatafriend’shouse！Nodashingup，withallthefireandfuryoftheanimal。
nojumpingdownofthedriver。noloudknockingatthedoor。noopeningoftheapronwithacrashattheverylastmoment，forfearoftheladiessittinginadraughtandthenthemanhandingtheshawlsout，afterwards，asifhewereaprivatecoachman！Thewholeedgeofthethinghadbeentakenoff。itwasflatterthanwalking。
Well，Tommy，saidMrs。Cluppins，How’syourpoordearmother？
Oh，she’sverywell，repliedMasterBardell。She’sinthefrontparlour，allready。I’mreadytoo，Iam。HereMasterBardellputhishandsinhispockets，andjumpedoffandonthebottomstepofthedoor。
Isanybodyelseagoin’，Tommy？saidMrs。Cluppins，arrangingherpelerine。
Mrs。Sandersisgoing，sheis，repliedTommy。I’mgoingtoo，Iam。
Drattheboy，saidlittleMrs。Cluppins。Hethinksofnobodybuthimself。Here，Tommy，dear。
Well，saidMasterBardell。
Whoelseisagoin’，lovey？saidMrs。Cluppinsinaninsinuatingmanner。
Oh！Mrs。Rogersisagoin’，repliedMasterBardell，openinghiseyesverywideashedeliveredtheintelligence。
What！Theladyashastakenthelodgings！ejaculatedMrs。Cluppins。
MasterBardellputhishandsdeeperdownintohispockets，andnoddedexactlythirty-fivetimes，toimplythatitwastheladylodger，andnoother。
Blessus！saidMrs。Cluppins。It’squiteaparty！
Ah，ifyouknewwhatwasinthecupboard，you’dsayso，repliedMasterBardell。
Whatisthere，Tommy？saidMrs。Cluppins，coaxingly。You’lltellme，Tommy，Iknow。
No，Iwon’t，repliedMasterBardell，shakinghishead，andapplyinghimselftothebottomstepagain。
Dratthechild！mutteredMrs。Cluppins。Whataprowokin’littlewretchitis！Come，Tommy，tellyourdearCluppy。
MothersaidIwasn’tto，rejoinedMasterBardell。I’magoin’tohavesome，Iam。Cheeredbythisprospect，theprecociousboyappliedhimselftohisinfantiletreadmill，withincreasedvigour。
Theaboveexaminationofachildoftenderyears，tookplacewhileMr。
andMrs。Raddleandthecab-driverwerehavinganaltercationconcerningthefare：which，terminatingatthispointinfavourofthecabman，Mrs。
Raddlecameuptottering。
Lauk，MaryAnn！what’sthematter？saidMrs。Cluppins。
It’sputmealloverinsuchatremble，Betsy，repliedMrs。Raddle。
Raddleain’tlikeaman。heleavesevery-thinktome。
ThiswasscarcelyfairupontheunfortunateMr。Raddle，whohadbeenthrustasidebyhisgoodladyinthecommencementofthedispute，andperemptorilycommandedtoholdhistongue。Hehadnoopportunityofdefendinghimself，however，forMrs。Raddlegaveunequivocalsignsoffainting。which，beingperceivedfromtheparlourwindow，Mrs。Bardell，Mrs。Sanders，thelodger，andthelodger’sservant，dartedprecipitatelyout，andconveyedherintothehouse：alltalkingatthesametime，andgivingutterancetovariousexpressionsofpityandcondolence，asifshewereoneofthemostsufferingmortalsonearth。Beingconveyedintothefrontparlour，shewastheredepositedonasofa。andtheladyfromthefirstfloorrunninguptothefirstfloor，returnedwithabottleofsalvolatile，which，holdingMrs。Raddletightroundtheneck，sheappliedinallwomanlykindnessandpitytohernose，untilthatladywithmanyplungesandstruggleswasfaintodeclareherselfdecidedlybetter。
Ah，poorthing！saidMrs。Rogers，Iknowwhatherfeelin’sis，toowell。
Ah，poorthing！sodoI，saidMrs。Sanders：andthenalltheladiesmoanedinunison，andsaidtheyknewwhatitwas，andtheypitiedherfromtheirhearts，theydid。Eventhelodger’slittleservant，whowasthirteenyearsold，andthreefeethigh，murmuredhersympathy。
Butwhat’sbeenthematter？saidMrs。Bardell。
Ah，whathasdecomposedyou，ma’am？inquiredMrs。Rogers。
Ihavebeenagooddealflurried，repliedMrs。Raddle，inareproachfulmanner。ThereupontheladiescastindignantlooksatMr。Raddle。
Why，thefactis，saidthatunhappygentleman，steppingforward，whenwealightedatthisdoor，adisputearosewiththedriverofthecabrioily——
Aloudscreamfromhiswife，atthementionofthisword，renderedallfurtherexplanationinaudible。
You’dbetterleaveustobringherround，Raddle，saidMrs。Cluppins。
She’llnevergetbetteraslongasyou’rehere。
Alltheladiesconcurredinthisopinion。soMr。Raddlewaspushedoutoftheroom，andrequestedtogivehimselfanairinginthebackyard。
Whichhedidforaboutaquarterofanhour，whenMrs。Bardellannouncedtohimwithasolemnfacethathemightcomeinnow，butthathemustbeverycarefulhowhebehavedtowardshiswife。Sheknewhedidn’tmeantobeunkind。butMaryAnnwasveryfarfromstrong，and，ifhedidn’ttakecare，hemightloseherwhenheleastexpectedit，whichwouldbeaverydreadfulreflectionforhimafterwards。andsoon。Allthis，Mr。Raddleheardwithgreatsubmission，andpresentlyreturnedtotheparlourinamostlamb-likemanner。
Why，Mrs。Rogers，ma’am，saidMrs。Bardell，you’veneverbeenintroduced，Ideclare！Mr。Raddle，ma’am。Mrs。Cluppins，ma’am。Mrs。Raddle，ma’am——
WhichisMrs。Cluppin’ssister，suggestedMrs。Sanders。
Oh，indeed！saidMrs。Rogers，graciously。forshewasthelodger，andherservantwasinwaiting，soshewasmoregraciousthanintimate，inrightofherposition。Oh，indeed！
Mrs。Raddlesmiledsweetly，Mr。Raddlebowed，andMrs。Cluppinssaidshewassureshewasveryhappytohaveaopportunityofbeingknowntoaladywhichshehadheerdsomuchinfavourof，asMrs。Rogers。Acomplimentwhichthelast-namedladyacknowledgedwithgracefulcondescension。
Well，Mr。Raddle，saidMrs。Bardell。I’msureyououghttofeelverymuchhonouredatyouandTommybeingtheonlygentlementoescortsomanyladiesallthewaytotheSpaniards，atHampstead。Don’tyouthinkheought，Mrs。Rogers，ma’am？
Oh，certainly，ma’am，repliedMrs。Rogers。afterwhomalltheotherladiesrespondedOh，certainly。
OfcourseIfeelit，ma’am，saidMr。Raddle，rubbinghishands，andevincingaslighttendencytobrightenupalittle。Indeed，totellyouthetruth，Isaid，aswewasacomingalonginthecabrioily——
Attherecapitulationofthewordwhichawakenedsomanypainfulrecollections，Mrs。Raddleappliedherhandkerchieftohereyesagain，andutteredahalf-suppressedscream。soMrs。BardellfrowneduponMr。Raddle，tointimatethathehadbetternotsayanythingmore，anddesiredMrs。Rogers’sservant，withanair，toputthewineon。
Thiswasthesignalfordisplayingthehiddentreasuresofthecloset，whichcomprisedsundryplatesoforangesandbiscuits，andabottleofoldcrustedport——thatatoneandnone——withanotherofthecelebratedEastIndiasherryatfourteenpence，whichwereallproducedinhonourofthelodger，andaffordedunlimitedsatisfactiontoeverybody。AftergreatconsternationhadbeenexcitedinthemindofMrs。Cluppins，byanattemptonthepartofTommytorecounthowhehadbeencross-examinedregardingthecupboardtheninactionwhichwasfortunatelynippedinthebudbyhisimbibinghalfaglassoftheoldcrustedthewrongway，andtherebyendangeringhislifeforsomeseconds，thepartywalkedforth，inquestofaHampsteadstage。Thiswassoonfound，andinacoupleofhourstheyallarrivedsafelyintheSpaniardsTea-gardens，wherethelucklessMr。
Raddle’sveryfirstactnearlyoccasionedhisgoodladyarelapse。itbeingneithermorenorlessthantoorderteaforseven，whereasastheladiesoneandallremarked，whatcouldhavebeeneasierthanforTommytohavedrankoutofanybody’scup——oreverybody’s，ifthatwasall——whenthewaiterwasn’tlooking：whichwouldhavesavedoneheadoftea，andtheteajustasgood！
However，therewasnohelpforit，andthetea-traycame，withsevencupsandsaucers，andbreadandbutteronthesamescale。Mrs。Bardellwasunanimouslyvotedintothechair，andMrs。Rogersbeingstationedonherrighthand，andMrs。Raddleonherleft，themealproceededwithgreatmerrimentandsuccess。
Howsweetthecountryis，to-be-sure！sighedMrs。Rogers。IalmostwishIlivedinitalways。
Oh，youwouldn’tlikethat，ma’am，repliedMrs。Bardell，ratherhastily。
foritwasnotatalladvisable，withreferencetothelodgings，toencouragesuchnotions。youwouldn’tlikeit，ma’am。
Oh！Ishouldthinkyouwasadealtoolivelyandsought-after，tobecontentwiththecountry，ma’am，saidlittleMrs。Cluppins。
PerhapsIam，ma’am。PerhapsIam，sighedthefirst-floorlodger。
Forlonepeopleashavegotnobodytocareforthem，ortakecareofthem，orashavebeenhurtintheirmind，orthatkindofthing，observedMr。Raddle，pluckingupalittlecheerfulness，andlookinground，thecountryisallverywell。Thecountryforawoundedspirit，theysay。
Now，ofallthingsintheworldthattheunfortunatemancouldhavesaid，anywouldhavebeenpreferabletothis。OfcourseMrs。Bardellburstintotears，andrequestedtobeledfromthetableinstantly。uponwhichtheaffectionatechildbegantocrytoo，mostdismally。
Wouldanybodybelieve，ma’am，exclaimedMrs。Raddle，turningfiercelytothefirst-floorlodger，thatawomancouldbemarriedtosuchaunmanlycreetur，whichcantamperwithawoman’sfeelingsashedoes，everyhourintheday，ma’am？
Mydear，remonstratedMr。Raddle，Ididn’tmeananything，mydear。
Youdidn’tmean！repeatedMrs。Raddle，withgreatscornandcontempt。
Goaway。Ican’tbearthesightonyou，youbrute。
Youmustnotflurryyourself，MaryAnn，interposedMrs。Cluppins。
Youreallymustconsideryourself，mydear，whichyouneverdo。Nowgoaway，Raddle，there’sagoodsoul，oryou’llonlyaggravateher。
Youhadbettertakeyourteabyyourself，sir，indeed，saidMrs。Rogers，againapplyingthesmelling-bottle。
Mrs。Sanders，whoaccordingtocustomwasverybusywiththebreadandbutter，expressedthesameopinion，andMr。Raddlequietlyretired。
Afterthis，therewasagreathoistingupofMasterBardell，whowasratheralargesizeforhugging，intohismother’sarms：inwhichoperationhegothisbootsinthetea-board，andoccasionedsomeconfusionamongthecupsandsaucers。Butthatdescriptionoffaintingfits，whichiscontagiousamongladies，seldomlastslong。sowhenhehadbeenwellkissed，andalittlecriedover，Mrs。Bardellrecovered，sethimdownagain，wonderedhowshecouldhavebeensofoolish，andpouredoutsomemoretea。
Itwasatthismoment，thatthesoundofapproachingwheelswasheard，andthattheladies，lookingup，sawahackney-coachstopatthegarden-gate。
Morecompany！saidMrs。Sanders。
It’sagentleman，saidMrs。Raddle。
Well，ifitain’tMr。Jackson，theyoungmanfromDodsonandFogg’s！
criedMrs。Bardell。Why，gracious！SurelyMr。Pickwickcan’thavepaidthedamages。
Orhofferedmarriage！saidMrs。Cluppins。
Dearme，howslowthegentlemanis，exclaimedMrs。Rogers：Whydoesn’themakehaste？
Astheladyspokethesewords，Mr。Jacksonturnedfromthecoachwherehehadbeenaddressingsomeobservationstoashabbymaninblackleggings，whohadjustemergedfromthevehiclewithathickashstickinhishand，andmadehiswaytotheplacewheretheladieswereseated。windinghishairroundthebrimofhishatashecamealong。
Isanythingthematter？Hasanythingtakenplace，Mr。Jackson？saidMrs。Bardell，eagerly。
Nothingwhatever，ma’am，repliedMr。Jackson。Howdedo，ladies？
Ihavetoaskpardon，ladies，forintruding——butthelaw，ladies——thelaw。
WiththisapologyMr。Jacksonsmiled，madeacomprehensivebow，andgavehishairanotherwind。Mrs。RogerswhisperedMrs。Raddlethathewasreallyaelegantyoungman。
IcalledinGoswellStreet，resumedJackson，andhearingthatyouwerehere，fromtheslavey，tookacoachandcameon。Ourpeoplewantyoudowninthecitydirectly，Mrs。Bardell。
Lor’！ejaculatedthatlady，startingatthesuddennatureofthecommunication。
Yes，saidJackson，bitinghislip。It’sveryimportantandpressingbusiness，whichcan’tbepostponedonanyaccount。Indeed，Dodsonexpresslysaidsotome，andsodidFogg。I’vekeptthecoachonpurposeforyoutogobackin。
Howverystrange！exclaimedMrs。Bardell。
Theladiesagreedthatitwasverystrange，butwereunanimouslyofopinionthatitmustbeveryimportant，orDodsonandFoggwouldneverhavesent。andfurther，thatthebusinessbeingurgent，sheoughttorepairtoDodsonandFogg’swithoutanydelay。
Therewasacertaindegreeofprideandimportanceaboutbeingwantedbyone’slawyersinsuchamonstroushurry，thatwasbynomeansdispleasingtoMrs。Bardell，especiallyasitmightbereasonablysupposedtoenhanceherconsequenceintheeyesofthefirst-floorlodger。Shesimperedalittle，affectedextremevexationandhesitation，andatlastarrivedattheconclusionthatshesupposedshemustgo。
Butwon’tyourefreshyourselfafteryourwalk，Mr。Jackson？saidMrs。Bardell，persuasively。
Why，reallythereain’tmuchtimetolose，repliedJackson。andI’vegotafriendhere，hecontinued，lookingtowardsthemanwiththeashstick。
Oh，askyourfriendtocomehere，sir，saidMrs。Bardell。Prayaskyourfriendhere，sir。
Why，thank’ee，I’drathernot，saidMr。Jackson，withsomeembarrassmentofmanner。He’snotmuchusedtoladies’society，anditmakeshimbashful。
Ifyou’llorderthewaitertodeliverhimanythingshort，hewon’tdrinkitoffatonce，won’the！——onlytryhim！Mr。Jackson’sfingerswanderedplayfullyroundhisnose，atthisportionofhisdiscourse，towarnhishearersthathewasspeakingironically。
Thewaiterwasatoncedespatchedtothebashfulgentleman，andthebashfulgentlemantooksomething。Mr。Jacksonalsotooksomething，andtheladiestooksomething，forhospitality’ssake。Mr。Jacksonthensaidhewasafraiditwastimetogo。uponwhich，Mrs。Sanders，Mrs。Cluppins，andTommywhoitwasarrangedshouldaccompanyMrs。Bardell：leavingtheotherstoMr。Raddle’sprotection，gotintothecoach。
Isaac，saidJackson，asMrs。Bardellpreparedtogetin：lookingupatthemanwiththeashstick，whowasseatedonthebox，smokingacigar。
Well？
ThisisMrs。Bardell。
Oh，Iknow’dthat，longago，saidtheman。
Mrs。Bardellgotin，Mr。Jacksongotinafterher，andawaytheydrove。
Mrs。BardellcouldnothelpruminatingonwhatMr。Jackson’sfriendhadsaid。Shrewdcreatures，thoselawyers。Lordblessus，howtheyfindpeopleout！
Sadthingaboutthesecostsofourpeople’s，ain’tit？saidJackson，whenMrs。CluppinsandMrs。Sandershadfallenasleep。yourbillofcosts，Imean。
I’mverysorrytheycan’tgetthem，repliedMrs。Bardell。Butifyoulaw-gentlemendothesethingsonspeculation，whyyoumustgetalossnowandthen，youknow。
Yougavethemacognovitfortheamountofyourcosts，afterthetrial，I’mtold？saidJackson。
Yes。Justasamatterofform，repliedMrs。Bardell。
Certainly，repliedJackson，drily。Quiteamatterofform。Quite。
Ontheydrove，andMrs。Bardellfellasleep。Shewasawakened，aftersometime，bythestoppingofthecoach。
Blessus！saidthelady。AreweatFreeman’sCourt？
We’renotgoingquitesofar，repliedJackson。Havethegoodnesstostepout。
Mrs。Bardell，notyetthoroughlyawake，complied。Itwasacuriousplace：
alargewall，withagateinthemiddle，andagas-lightburninginside。
Now，ladies，criedthemanwiththeashstick，lookingintothecoach，andshakingMrs。Sanderstowakeher，Come！Rousingherfriend，Mrs。
Sandersalighted。Mrs。Bardell，leaningonJackson’sarm，andleadingTommybythehand，hadalreadyenteredtheporch。Theyfollowed。
Theroomtheyturnedinto，wasevenmoreodd-lookingthantheporch。
Suchanumberofmenstandingabout！Andtheystaredso！
Whatplaceisthis？inquiredMrs。Bardell，pausing。
Onlyoneofourpublicoffices，repliedJackson，hurryingherthroughadoor，andlookingroundtoseethattheotherwomenwerefollowing。Looksharp，Isaac！
Safeandsound，repliedthemanwiththeashstick。Thedoorswungheavilyafterthem，andtheydescendedasmallflightofsteps。
Hereweare，atlast。Allrightandtight，Mrs。Bardell！saidJackson，lookingexultinglyround。
Whatdoyoumean？saidMrs。Bardell，withapalpitatingheart。
Justthis，repliedJackson，drawingheralittleononeside。don’tbefrightened，Mrs。Bardell。ThereneverwasamoredelicatemanthanDodson，ma’am，oramorehumanemanthanFogg。Itwastheirduty，inthewayofbusiness，totakeyouinexecutionforthemcosts。buttheywereanxioustospareyourfeelingsasmuchastheycould。Whatacomfortitmustbe，toyou，tothinkhowit’sbeendone！ThisistheFleet，ma’am。Wishyougoodnight，Mrs。Bardell。Goodnight，Tommy！
AsJacksonhurriedawayincompanywiththemanwiththeashstick，anothermanwithakeyinhishand，whohadbeenlookingon，ledthebewilderedfemaletoasecondshortflightofstepsleadingtoadoorway。Mrs。Bardellscreamedviolently。Tommyroared。Mrs。Cluppinsshrunkwithinherself。
andMrs。Sandersmadeoffwithoutmoreado。For，there，stoodtheinjuredMr。Pickwick，takinghisnightlyallowanceofair。andbesidehimleantSamuelWeller，who，seeingMrs。Bardell，tookhishatoffwithmockreverence，whilehismasterturnedindignantlyonhisheel。
Don’tbotherthewoman，saidtheturnkeytoWeller：she’sjustcomein。
Apris’ner！saidSam，quicklyreplacinghishat。Who’stheplaintives？
Whatfor？Speakup，oldfeller。
DodsonandFogg，repliedtheman。executiononcognovitforcosts。
HereJob，Job！shoutedSam，dashingintothepassage。RuntoMr。
Perker’s，Job。Iwanthimdirectly。Iseesomegoodinthis。Here’sagame。Hooray！were’sthegov’nor？
Buttherewasnoreplytotheseinquiries，forJobhadstartedfuriouslyoff，theinstanthereceivedhiscommission，andMrs。Bardellhadfaintedinrealdownrightearnest。
[NextChapter][TableofContents]ThePickwickPapers：Chapter47[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]CHAPTERXLVIIISCHIEFLYDEVOTEDTOMATTERSOFBUSINESS，ANDTHE
TEMPORALADVANTAGEOFDODSONANDFOGG。MR。WINKLERE-APPEARSUNDEREXTRAORDINARY
CIRCUMSTANCES。MR。PICKWICK’SBENEVOLENCEPROVESSTRONGERTHANHISOBSTINACY
JOBTROTTER，abatingnothingofhisspeed，ranupHolborn。sometimesinthemiddleoftheroad，sometimesonthepavement，sometimesinthegutter，asthechancesofgettingalongvariedwiththepressofmen，women，children，andcoachesineachdivisionofthethoroughfare。regardlessofallobstacles，hestoppednotforaninstantuntilhereachedthegateofGray’sInn。Notwithstandingalltheexpeditionhehadused，however，thegatehadbeenclosedagoodhalfhourwhenhereachedit，andbythetimehehaddiscoveredMr。Perker’slaundress，wholivedwithamarrieddaughter，whohadbestowedherhanduponanon-residentwaiter，whooccupiedtheone-pairofsomenumberinsomestreetcloselyadjoiningtosomebrewerysomewherebehindGray’sInnLane，itwaswithinfifteenminutesofclosingtheprisonforthenight。Mr。LowtenhadstilltobeferretedoutfromthebackparlouroftheMagpieandStump。andJobhadscarcelyaccomplishedthisobject，andcommunicatedSamWeller’smessage，whentheclockstruckten。
There，saidLowten，it’stoolatenow。Youcan’tgetinto-night。
you’vegotthekeyofthestreet，myfriend。
Nevermindme，repliedJob。Icansleepanywhere。Butwon’titbebettertoseeMr。Perkerto-night，sothatwemaybethere，thefirstthinginthemorning？
Why，respondedLowten，afteralittleconsideration，ifitwasinanybodyelse’scase，Perkerwouldn’tbebestpleasedatmygoinguptohishouse。butasit’sMr。Pickwick’s，IthinkImayventuretotakeacabandchargeittotheoffice。Decidingonthislineofconduct，Mr。
Lowtentookuphishat，andbeggingtheassembledcompanytoappointadeputychairmanduringhistemporaryabsence，ledthewaytothenearestcoach-stand。Summoningthecabofmostpromisingappearance，hedirectedthedrivertorepairtoMontaguePlace，RussellSquare。
Mr。Perkerhadhadadinnerpartythatday，aswastestifiedbytheappearanceoflightsinthedrawing-roomwindows，thesoundofanimprovedgrandpiano，andanimprovablecabinetvoiceissuingtherefrom，andaratheroverpoweringsmellofmeatwhichpervadedthestepsandentry。Infactacoupleofverygoodcountryagencieshappeningtocomeuptotown，atthesametime，anagreeablelittlepartyhadbeengottogethertomeetthem：comprisingMr。SnickstheLifeOfficeSecretary，Mr。Proseetheeminentcounsel，threesolicitors，onecommissionerofbankrupts，aspecialpleaderfromtheTemple，asmall-eyedperemptoryyounggentleman，hispupil，whohadwrittenalivelybookaboutthelawofdemises，withavastquantityofmarginalnotesandreferences。andseveralothereminentanddistinguishedpersonages。Fromthissociety，littleMr。Perkerdetachedhimself，onhisclerkbeingannouncedinawhisper。andrepairingtothedining-room，therefoundMr。LowtenandJobTrotterlookingverydimandshadowybythelightofakitchencandle，whichthegentlemanwhocondescendedtoappearinplushshortsandcottonsforaquarterlystipend，had，withabecomingcontemptfortheclerkandallthingsappertainingtotheoffice，placeduponthetable。
Now，Lowten，saidlittleMr。Perker，shuttingthedoor，what’sthematter？Noimportantlettercomeinaparcel，isthere？
No，sir，repliedLowten。ThisisamessengerfromMr。Pickwick，sir。
FromPickwick，eh？saidthelittleman，turningquicklytoJob。Well，whatisit？
DodsonandFogghavetakenMrs。Bardellinexecutionforhercosts，sir，saidJob。
No！exclaimedPerker，puttinghishandsinhispockets，andrecliningagainstthesideboard。
Yes，saidJob。Itseemstheygotacognovitoutofher，fortheamountof’em，directlyafterthetrial。
ByJove！saidPerker，takingbothhandsoutofhispockets，andstrikingtheknucklesofhisrightagainstthepalmofhisleft，emphatically，thosearethecleverestscampsIeverhadanythingtodowith！
ThesharpestpractitionersIeverknew，sir，observedLowten。
Sharp！echoedPerker。There’snoknowingwheretohavethem。
Verytrue，sir，thereisnot，repliedLowten。andthen，bothmasterandmanponderedforafewseconds，withanimatedcountenances，asiftheywerereflectingupononeofthemostbeautifulandingeniousdiscoveriesthattheintellectofmanhadevermade。Whentheyhadinsomemeasurerecoveredfromtheirtranceofadmiration，JobTrotterdischargedhimselfoftherestofhiscommission。Perkernoddedhisheadthoughtfully，andpulledouthiswatch。
Attenprecisely，Iwillbethere，saidthelittleman。Samisquiteright。Tellhimso。Willyoutakeaglassofwine，Lowten？
No，thankyou，sir。
Youmeanyes，Ithink，saidthelittleman，turningtothesideboardforadecanterandglasses。
AsLowtendidmeanyes，hesaidnomoreonthesubject，butinquiredofJob，inanaudiblewhisper，whethertheportraitofPerker，whichhungoppositethefire-place，wasn’tawonderfullikeness，towhich，Jobofcourserepliedthatitwas。Thewinebeingbythistimepouredout，LowtendranktoMrs。Perkerandthechildren，andJobtoPerker。Thegentlemanintheplushshortsandcottonsconsideringitnopartofhisdutytoshowthepeoplefromtheofficeout，consistentlydeclinedtoanswerthebell，andtheyshowedthemselvesout。Theattorneybetookhimselftohisdrawing-room，theclerktotheMagpieandStump，andJobtoCoventGardenMarkettospendthenightinavegetablebasket。
Punctuallyattheappointedhournextmorning，thegood-humouredlittleattorneytappedatMr。Pickwick’sdoor，whichwasopenedwithgreatalacritybySamWeller。
Mr。Perker，sir，saidSam，announcingthevisitortoMr。Pickwick，whowassittingatthewindowinathoughtfulattitude。Werygladyou’velookedinaccidentally，sir。Iratherthinkthegov’norwantstohaveawordandahalfwithyou，sir。
PerkerbestowedalookofintelligenceonSam，intimatingthatheunderstoodhewasnottosayhehadbeensentfor：andbeckoninghimtoapproach，whisperedbrieflyinhisear。
Youdon’tmeanthat’ere，sir？saidSam，startingbackinexcessivesurprise。
Perkernoddedandsmiled。
Mr。SamuelWellerlookedatthelittlelawyer，thenatMr。Pickwick，thenattheceiling，thenatPerkeragain。grinned，laughedoutright，andfinally，catchinguphishatfromthecarpet，withoutfurtherexplanation，disappeared。
Whatdoesthismean？inquiredMr。Pickwick，lookingatPerkerwithastonishment。WhathasputSamintothismostextraordinarystate？
Oh，nothing，nothing，repliedPerker。Come，mydearsir，drawupyourchairtothetable。Ihaveagooddealtosaytoyou。
Whatpapersarethose？inquiredMr。Pickwick，asthelittlemandepositedonthetableasmallbundleofdocumentstiedwithredtape。
ThepapersinBardellandPickwick，repliedPerker，undoingtheknotwithhisteeth。
Mr。Pickwickgratedthelegsofhischairagainsttheground。andthrowinghimselfintoit，foldedhishandsandlookedsternly——ifMr。Pickwickevercouldlooksternly——athislegalfriend。
Youdon’tliketohearthenameofthecause？saidthelittleman，stillbusyinghimselfwiththeknot。
No，Idonotindeed，repliedMr。Pickwick。
Sorryforthat，resumedPerker，becauseitwillformthesubjectofourconversation。
Iwouldratherthatthesubjectshouldbenevermentionedbetweenus，Perker，interposedMr。Pickwick，hastily。
Pooh，pooh，mydearsir，saidthelittleman，untyingthebundle，andglancingeagerlyatMr。Pickwickoutofthecornersofhiseyes。Itmustbementioned。Ihavecomehereonpurpose。Now，areyoureadytohearwhatIhavetosay，mydearsir？Nohurry。ifyouarenot，Icanwait。
Ihavethismorning’spaperhere。Yourtimeshallbemine。There！Hereupon，thelittlemanthrewonelegovertheother，andmadeashowofbeginningtoreadwithgreatcomposureandapplication。
Well，well，saidMr。Pickwick，withasigh，butsofteningintoasmileatthesametime。Saywhatyouhavetosay。it’stheoldstory，Isuppose？
Withadifference，mydearsir。withadifference，rejoinedPerker，deliberatelyfoldingupthepaperandputtingitintohispocketagain。
Mrs。Bardell，theplaintiffintheaction，iswithinthesewalls，sir。
Iknowit，wasMr。Pickwick’sreply。
Verygood，retortedPerker。Andyouknowhowshecomeshere，Isuppose。
Imeanonwhatgrounds，andatwhosesuit？
Yes。atleastIhaveheardSam’saccountofthematter，saidMr。Pickwick，withaffectedcarelessness。
Sam’saccountofthematter，repliedPerker，is，Iwillventuretosay，aperfectlycorrectone。Wellnow，mydearsir，thefirstquestionIhavetoask，is，whetherthiswomanistoremainhere？
Toremainhere！echoedMr。Pickwick。
Toremainhere，mydearsir，rejoinedPerker，leaningbackinhischairandlookingsteadilyathisclient。
Howcanyouaskme？saidthatgentleman。ItrestswithDodsonandFogg。youknowthat，verywell。
Iknownothingofthekind，retortedPerker，firmly。ItdoesnotrestwithDodsonandFogg。youknowthemen，mydearsir，aswellasI
do。Itrestssolely，wholly，andentirelywithyou。
Withme！ejaculatedMr。Pickwick，risingnervouslyfromhischair，andreseatinghimselfdirectlyafterwards。
Thelittlemangaveadoubleknockonthelidofhissnuff-box，openedit，tookagreatpinch，shutitupagain，andrepeatedthewords，Withyou。
Isay，mydearsir，resumedthelittleman，whoseemedtogatherconfidencefromthesnuff。Isay，thatherspeedyliberationorperpetualimprisonmentrestswithyou，andwithyoualone。Heremeout，mydearsir，ifyouplease，anddonotbesoveryenergetic，foritwillonlyputyouintoaperspirationanddonogoodwhatever。Isay，continuedPerker，checkingoffeachpositiononadifferentfinger，ashelaiditdown。Isaythatnobodybutyoucanrescueherfromthisdenofwretchedness。andthatyoucanonlydothat，bypayingthecostsofthissuit——bothofplaintiffanddefendant——intothehandsoftheseFreeman’sCourtsharks。Nowpraybequiet，mydearsir。
Mr。Pickwick，whosefacehadbeenundergoingmostsurprisingchangesduringthisspeech，andwhowasevidentlyonthevergeofastrongburstofindignation，calmedhiswrathaswellashecould。Perker，strengtheninghisargumentativepowerswithanotherpinchofsnuff，proceeded。
Ihaveseenthewoman，thismorning。Bypayingthecosts，youcanobtainafullreleaseanddischargefromthedamages。andfurther——thisIknowisafargreaterobjectofconsiderationwithyou，mydearsir——avoluntarystatement，underherhand，intheformofalettertome，thatthisbusinesswas，fromtheveryfirst，fomented，andencouraged，andbroughtabout，bythesemen，DodsonandFogg。that，shedeeplyregretseverhavingbeentheinstrumentofannoyanceorinjurytoyou。andthatsheentreatsmetointercedewithyou，andimploreyourpardon。
IfIpayhercostsforher，saidMr。Pickwick，indignantly。Avaluabledocument，indeed！
No`if’inthecase，mydearsir，saidPerker，triumphantly。
ThereistheveryletterIspeakof。Broughttomyofficebyanotherwomanatnineo’clockthismorning，beforeIhadsetfootinthisplace，orheldanycommunicationwithMrs。Bardell，uponmyhonour。Selectingtheletterfromthebundle，thelittlelawyerlaiditatMr。Pickwick’selbow，andtooksnufffortwoconsecutiveminutes，withoutwinking。
Isthisallyouhavetosaytome？inquiredMr。Pickwick，mildly。
Notquite，repliedPerker。Icannotundertaketosay，atthismoment，whetherthewordingofthecognovit，thenatureoftheostensibleconsideration，andtheproofwecangettogetheraboutthewholeconductofthesuit，willbesufficienttojustifyanindictmentforconspiracy。Ifearnot，mydearsir。theyaretoocleverforthat，Idoubt。Idomeantosay，however，thatthewholefacts，takentogether，willbesufficienttojustifyyou，inthemindsofallreasonablemen。Andnow，mydearsir，Iputittoyou。
Thisonehundredandfiftypounds，orwhateveritmaybe——takeitinroundnumbers——isnothingtoyou。Ajuryhasdecidedagainstyou。well，theirverdictiswrong，butstilltheydecidedastheythoughtright，anditisagainstyou。Youhavenowanopportunity，oneasyterms，ofplacingyourselfinamuchhigherpositionthanyouevercould，byremaininghere。
whichwouldonlybeimputed，bypeoplewhodidn’tknowyou，tosheerdogged，wrongheaded，brutalobstinacy：nothingelse，mydearsir，believeme。Canyouhesitatetoavailyourselfofit，whenitrestoresyoutoyourfriends，youroldpursuits，yourhealthandamusements。whenitliberatesyourfaithfulandattachedservant，whomyouotherwisedoomtoimprisonmentforthewholeofyourlife。andaboveall，whenitenablesyoutotaketheverymagnanimousrevenge——whichIknow，mydearsir，isoneafteryourownheart——ofreleasingthiswomanfromasceneofmiseryanddebauchery，towhichnomanshouldeverbeconsigned，ifIhadmywill，buttheinflictionofwhichonanywoman，isevenmorefrightfulandbarbarous。NowIaskyou，mydearsir，notonlyasyourlegaladviser，butasyourverytruefriend，willyouletsliptheoccasionofattainingalltheseobjects，anddoingallthisgood，forthepaltryconsiderationofafewpoundsfindingtheirwayintothepocketsofacoupleofrascals，towhomitmakesnomannerofdifference，exceptthatthemoretheygain，themorethey’llseek，andsothesoonerbeledintosomepieceofknaverythatmustendinacrash？Ihaveputtheseconsiderationstoyou，mydearsir，veryfeeblyandimperfectly，butIaskyoutothinkofthem。Turnthemoverinyourmindaslongasyouplease。Iwaitheremostpatientlyforyouranswer。
BeforeMr。Pickwickcouldreply。beforeMr。Perkerhadtakenonetwentiethpartofthesnuffwithwhichsounusuallylonganaddressimperativelyrequiredtobefollowedup。therewasalowmurmuringofvoicesoutside，andthenahesitatingknockatthedoor。
Dear，dear，exclaimedMr。Pickwick，whohadbeenevidentlyrousedbyhisfriend’sappeal。whatanannoyancethatdooris！Whoisthat？
Me，sir，repliedSamWeller，puttinginhishead。
Ican’tspeaktoyoujustnow，Sam，saidMr。Pickwick。Iamengaged，atthismoment，Sam。
Begyourpardon，sir，rejoinedMr。Weller。Buthere’saladyhere，sir，assaysshe’ssomethin’weryparticklertodisclose。
Ican’tseeanylady，repliedMr。Pickwick，whosemindwasfilledwithvisionsofMrs。Bardell。
Ivouldn’tmaketoosureo’that，sir，urgedMr。Weller，shakinghishead。Ifyouknow’dwhowasnear，sir，Iraytherthinkyou’dchangeyournote。Asthehawkremarkedtohimselfwithacheerfullaugh，venheheerdtherobinredbreastasingin’roundthecorner。
Whoisit？inquiredMr。Pickwick。
Willyouseeher，sir？askedMr。Weller，holdingthedoorinhishandasifhehadsomecuriousliveanimalontheotherside。
IsupposeImust，saidMr。Pickwick，lookingatPerker。
Wellthen，allintobegin！criedSam。Soundthegong，drawupthecurtain，andenterthetwoconspiraytors。
AsSamWellerspoke，hethrewthedooropen，andthererushedtumultuouslyintotheroom，Mr。NathanielWinkle：leadingafterhimbythehand，theidenticalyoungladywhoatDingleyDellhadwornthebootswiththefurroundthetops，andwho，nowaverypleasingcompoundofblushesandconfusionandlilacsilkandasmartbonnetandarichlaceveillookedprettierthanever。
MissArabellaAllen！exclaimedMr。Pickwick，risingfromhischair。
No，repliedMr。Winkle，droppingonhisknees，Mrs。Winkle。Pardon，mydearfriend，pardon！
Mr。Pickwickcouldscarcelybelievetheevidenceofhissenses，andperhapswouldnothavedoneso，butforthecorroborativetestimonyaffordedbythesmilingcountenanceofPerker，andthebodilypresence，inthebackground，ofSamandtheprettyhousemaid。whoappearedtocontemplatetheproceedingswiththeliveliestsatisfaction。
Oh，Mr。Pickwick！saidArabella，inalowvoice，asifalarmedatthesilence。Canyouforgivemyimprudence？
Mr。Pickwickreturnednoverbalresponsetothisappeal。buthetookoffhisspectaclesingreathaste，andseizingboththeyounglady’shandsinhis，kissedheragreatnumberoftimes——perhapsagreaternumberthanwasabsolutelynecessary——andthen，stillretainingoneofherhands，toldMr。Winklehewasanaudaciousyoungdog，andbadehimgetup。This，Mr。
Winkle，whohadbeenforsomesecondsscratchinghisnosewiththebrimofhishat，inapenitentmanner，did。whereuponMr。Pickwickslappedhimonthebackseveraltimes，andthenshookhandsheartilywithPerker，who，nottobebehind-handinthecomplimentsoftheoccasion，salutedboththebrideandtheprettyhousemaidwithrightgoodwill，and，havingwrungMr。Winkle’shandmostcordially，wounduphisdemonstrationsofjoybytakingsnuffenoughtosetanyhalfdozenmenwithordinarilyconstructednoses，a-sneezingforlife。
Why，mydeargirl，saidMr。Pickwick，howhasallthiscomeabout？
Come！Sitdown，andletmehearitall。Howwellshelooks，doesn’tshe，Perker？addedMr。Pickwick，surveyingArabella’sfacewithalookofasmuchprideandexultation，asifshehadbeenhisdaughter。
Delightful，mydearsir，repliedthelittleman。IfIwerenotamarriedmanmyself，Ishouldbedisposedtoenvyyou，youdog。Thusexpressinghimself，thelittlelawyergaveMr。Winkleapokeinthechest，whichthatgentlemanreciprocated。afterwhichtheybothlaughedveryloudly，butnotsoloudlyasMr。SamuelWeller。Whohadjustrelievedhisfeelingsbykissingtheprettyhousemaid，undercoverofthecupboard-door。
Icanneverbegratefulenoughtoyou，Sam，Iamsure，saidArabella，withthesweetestsmileimaginable。IshallnotforgetyourexertionsinthegardenatClifton。
Don’tsaynothin’woteveraboutit，ma’m，repliedSam。Ionlyassistednatur’，ma’m。asthedoctorsaidtotheboy’smother，arterhe’dbledhimtodeath。
Mary，mydear，sitdown，saidMr。Pickwick，cuttingshortthesecompliments。
Nowthen。howlonghaveyoubeenmarried，eh？
Arabellalookedbashfullyatherlordandmaster，whoreplied，Onlythreedays。
Onlythreedays，eh？saidMr。PickwickWhy，whathaveyoubeendoingthesethreemonths？
Ah，tobesure！interposedPerker。come！Accountforthisidleness。
YouseePickwick’sonlyastonishmentis，thatitwasn’tallover，monthsago。
Why，thefactis，repliedMr。Winkle，lookingathisblushingyoungwife，thatIcouldnotpersuadeBellatorunaway，foralongtime。AndwhenIhadpersuadedher，itwasalongtimemore，beforewecouldfindanopportunity。Maryhadtogiveamonth’swarning，too，beforeshecouldleaveherplacenextdoor，andwecouldn’tpossiblyhavedoneitwithoutherassistance。
Uponmyword，exclaimedMr。Pickwick，whobythistimehadresumedhisspectacles，andwaslookingfromArabellatoWinkle，andfromWinkletoArabella，withasmuchdelightdepictedinhiscountenanceaswarm-heartednessandkindlyfeelingcancommunicatetothehumanface：uponmyword！youseemtohavebeenverysystematicinyourproceedings。Andisyourbrotheracquaintedwithallthis，mydear？
Oh，no，no，repliedArabella，changingcolour。DearMr。Pickwick，hemustonlyknowitfromyou——fromyourlipsalone。Heissoviolent，soprejudiced，andhasbeenso——soanxiousinbehalfofhisfriend，Mr。
Sawyer，addedArabella，lookingdown，thatIfeartheconsequencesdreadfully。
Ah，tobesure，saidPerkergravely。Youmusttakethismatterinhandforthem，mydearsir。Theseyoungmenwillrespectyou，whentheywouldlistentonobodyelse。Youmustpreventmischief，mydearsir。Hotblood，hotblood。Andthelittlemantookawarningpinch，andshookhisheaddoubtfully。
Youforget，mylove，saidMr。Pickwick，gently，youforgetthatI
amaprisoner。
No，indeedIdonot，mydearsir，repliedArabella。Ineverhaveforgottenit。Ihaveneverceasedtothinkhowgreatyoursufferingsmusthavebeeninthisshockingplace。ButIhopedthatwhatnoconsiderationforyourselfwouldinduceyoutodo，aregardtoourhappiness，might。
Ifmybrotherhearsofthis，first，fromyou，Ifeelcertainweshallbereconciled。Heismyonlyrelationintheworld，Mr。Pickwick，andunlessyoupleadforme，IfearIhavelostevenhim。Ihavedonewrong，very，verywrong，Iknow。HerepoorArabellahidherfaceinherhandkerchief，andweptbitterly。
Mr。Pickwick’snaturewasagooddealworkedupon，bythesesametears。
butwhenMrs。Winkle，dryinghereyes，tooktocoaxingandentreatinginthesweetesttonesofaverysweetvoice，hebecameparticularlyrestless，andevidentlyundecidedhowtoact。Aswasevincedbysundrynervousrubbingsofhisspectacle-glasses，nose，tights，head，andgaiters。
Takingadvantageofthesesymptomsofindecision，Mr。Perkertowhom，itappeared，theyoungcouplehaddrivenstraightthatmorningurgedwithlegalpointandshrewdnessthatMr。Winkle，senior，wasstillunacquaintedwiththeimportantriseinlife’sflightofstepswhichhissonhadtaken。
thatthefutureexpectationsofthesaidsondependedentirelyuponthesaidWinkle，senior，continuingtoregardhimwithundiminishedfeelingsofaffectionandattachment，whichitwasveryunlikelyhewould，ifthisgreateventwerelongkeptasecretfromhim。thatMr。Pickwick，repairingtoBristoltoseekMr。Allen，might，withequalreason，repairtoBirminghamtoseekMr。Winkle，senior。lastly，thatMr。Winkle，senior，hadgoodrightandtitletoconsiderMr。Pickwickasinsomedegreetheguardianandadviserofhisson，andthatitconsequentlybehovedthatgentleman，andwasindeedduetohispersonalcharacter，toacquainttheaforesaidWinkle，senior，personally，andbywordofmouth，withthewholecircumstancesofthecase，andwiththesharehehadtakeninthetransaction。
Mr。TupmanandMr。Snodgrassarrived，mostopportunely，inthisstageofthepleadings，andasitwasnecessarytoexplaintothemallthathadoccurred，togetherwiththevariousreasonsproandcon，thewholeoftheargumentsweregoneoveragain，afterwhicheverybodyurgedeveryargumentinhisownway，andathisownlength。And，atlast，Mr。Pickwick，fairlyarguedandremonstratedoutofallhisresolutions，andbeinginimminentdangerofbeingarguedandremonstratedoutofhiswits，caughtArabellainhisarms，anddeclaringthatshewasaveryamiablecreature，andthathedidn’tknowhowitwas，buthehadalwaysbeenveryfondofherfromthefirst，saidhecouldneverfinditinhishearttostandinthewayofyoungpeople’shappiness，andtheymightdowithhimastheypleased。
Mr。Weller’sfirstact，onhearingthisconcession，wastodespatchJobTrottertotheillustriousMr。Pell，withanauthoritytodelivertothebearertheformaldischargewhichhisprudentparenthadhadtheforesighttoleaveinthehandsofthatlearnedgentleman，incaseitshouldbe，atanytime，requiredonanemergency。hisnextproceedingwas，toinvesthiswholestockofreadymoney，inthepurchaseoffive-and-twentygallonsofmildporter：whichhehimselfdispensedontheracketgroundtoeverybodywhowouldpartakeofit。thisdone，hehurra’dindiverspartsofthebuildinguntilhelosthisvoice，andthenquietlyrelapsedintohisusualcollectedandphilosophicalcondition。
Atthreeo’clockthatafternoon，Mr。Pickwicktookalastlookathislittleroom，andmadehisway，aswellashecould，throughthethrongofdebtorswhopressedeagerlyforwardtoshakehimbythehand，untilhereachedthelodgesteps。Heturnedhere，tolookabouthim，andhiseyelightenedashedidso。Inallthecrowdofwan，emaciatedfaces，hesawnotonewhichwasnotthehappierforhissympathyandcharity。
Perker，saidMr。Pickwick，beckoningoneyoungmantowardshim，thisisMr。Jingle，whomIspoketoyouabout。
Verygood，mydearsir，repliedPerker，lookinghardatJingle。Youwillseemeagain，youngman，to-morrow。Ihopeyoumaylivetorememberandfeeldeeply，whatIshallhavetocommunicate，sir。
Jinglebowedrespectfully，trembledverymuchashetookMr。Pickwick’sprofferedhand，andwithdrew。
Jobyouknow，Ithink？saidMr。Pickwick，presentingthatgentleman。
Iknowtherascal，repliedPerker，good-humouredly。Seeafteryourfriend，andbeinthewayto-morrowatone。Doyouhear？Now，isthereanythingmore？
Nothing，rejoinedMr。Pickwick。YouhavedeliveredthelittleparcelIgaveyouforyouroldlandlord，Sam？
Ihave，sir，repliedSam。Hebustoutacryin’，sir，andsaidyouwoswerygen’rousandthoughtful，andheonlywishedyoucouldhavehiminnokilatedforagallopin’consumption，forhisoldfriendashadlivedheresolong，wosdead，andhe’dnowerestolookforanother。
Poorfellow，poorfellow！saidMr。Pickwick。Godblessyou，myfriends！
AsMr。Pickwickutteredthisadieu，thecrowdraisedaloudshout。Manyamongthemwerepressingforwardtoshakehimbythehand，again，whenhedrewhisarmthroughPerker’s，andhurriedfromtheprison：farmoresadandmelancholy，forthemoment，thanwhenhehadfirstenteredit。
Alas！howmanysadandunhappybeingshadheleftbehind！
Ahappyeveningwasthat，for，atleast，onepartyintheGeorgeandVulture。andlightandcheerfulweretwooftheheartsthatemergedfromitshospitabledoornextmorning。TheownersthereofwereMr。PickwickandSamWeller，theformerofwhomwasspeedilydepositedinsideacomfortablepostcoach，withalittledickeybehind，inwhichthelattermountedwithgreatagility。
Sir，calledoutMr。Wellertohismaster。
Well，Sam，repliedMr。Pickwick，thrustinghisheadoutofthewindow。
IwishthemhorseshadbeenthreemonthsandbetterintheFleet，sir。
Why，Sam？inquiredMr。Pickwick。
Wy，sir，exclaimedMr。Weller，rubbinghishands，howtheywouldgoiftheyhadbeen！
[NextChapter][TableofContents]ThePickwickPapers：Chapter48[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]CHAPTERXLVIIIRELATESHOWMR。PICKWICK，WITHTHEASSISTANCEOF
SAMUELWELLER，ESSAYEDTOSOFTENTHEHEARTOFMR。BENJAMINALLEN，ANDTO
MOLLIFYTHEWRATHOFMR。ROBERTSAWYER
MR。BENALLENandMr。BobSawyersattogetherinthelittlesurgerybehindtheshop，discussingmincedvealandfutureprospects，whenthediscourse，notunnaturally，turneduponthepracticeacquiredbyBobtheaforesaid，andhispresentchancesofderivingacompetentindependencefromthehonourableprofessiontowhichhehaddevotedhimself——
Which，Ithink，observedMr。BobSawyer，pursuingthethreadofthesubject，which，Ithink，Ben，areratherdubious。
What’sratherdubious？inquiredMr。BenAllen，atthesametimesharpeninghisintellectswithadraughtofbeer。What’sdubious？
Why，thechances，respondedMr。BobSawyer。
Iforgot，saidMr。BenAllen。ThebeerhasremindedmethatIforgot，Bob——yes。theyaredubious。
It’swonderfulhowthepoorpeoplepatroniseme，saidMr。BobSawyer，reflectively。Theyknockmeup，atallhoursofthenight。theytakemedicinetoanextentwhichIshouldhaveconceivedimpossible。theyputonblistersandleecheswithaperseveranceworthyofabettercause。theymakeadditionstotheirfamilies，inamannerwhichisquiteawful。Sixofthoselast-namedlittlepromissorynotes，alldueonthesameday，Ben，andallintrustedtome！
It’sverygratifying，isn’tit？saidMr。BenAllen，holdinghisplateforsomemoremincedveal。
Oh，very，repliedBob。onlynotquitesomuchso，astheconfidenceofpatientswithashillingortwotospare，wouldbe。Thisbusinesswascapitallydescribedintheadvertisement，Ben。Itisapractice，averyextensivepractice——andthat’sall。
Bob，saidMr。BenAllen，layingdownhisknifeandfork，andfixinghiseyesonthevisageofhisfriend：Bob，I’lltellyouwhatitis。
Whatisit？inquiredMr。BobSawyer。
Youmustmakeyourself，withaslittledelayaspossible，masterofArabella’sonethousandpounds。
Threepercent。consolidatedBankannuities，nowstandinginhernameinthebookorbooksoftheGovernorandCompanyoftheBankofEngland，
addedBobSawyer，inlegalphraseology。
Exactlyso，saidBen。Shehasitwhenshecomesofage，ormarries。
Shewantsayearofcomingofage，andifyoupluckedupaspiritsheneedn’twantamonthofbeingmarried。
She’saverycharminganddelightfulcreature，quothMr。RobertSawyer，inreply。andhasonlyonefaultthatIknowof，Ben。Ithappens，unfortunately，thatthatsingleblemishisawantoftaste。Shedon’tlikeme。
It’smyopinionthatshedon’tknowwhatshedoeslike，saidMr。BenAllen，contemptuously。
Perhapsnot，remarkedMr。BobSawyer。Butit’smyopinionthatshedoesknowwhatshedoesn’tlike，andthat’sofmoreimportance。
Iwish，saidMr。BenAllen，settinghisteethtogether，andspeakingmorelikeasavagewarriorwhofedonrawwolf’sfleshwhichhecarvedwithhisfingers，thanapeaceableyounggentlemanwhoatemincedvealwithaknifeandfork，IwishIknewwhetheranyrascalreallyhasbeentamperingwithher，andattemptingtoengageheraffections。IthinkI
shouldassassinatehim，Bob。
I’dputabulletinhim，ifIfoundhimout，saidMr。Sawyer，stoppinginthecourseofalongdraughtofbeer，andlookingmalignantlyoutoftheporterpot。Ifthatdidn’tdohisbusiness，I’dextractitafterwards，andkillhimthatway。
Mr。BenjaminAllengazedabstractedlyonhisfriendforsomeminutesinsilence，andthensaid：
Youhaveneverproposedtoher，point-blank，Bob？
No。BecauseIsawitwouldbeofnouse，repliedMr。RobertSawyer。
Youshalldoit，beforeyouaretwenty-fourhoursolder，retortedBen，withdesperatecalmness。Sheshallhaveyou，orI’llknowthereasonwhy。I’llexertmyauthority。
Well，saidMr。BobSawyer，weshallsee。
Weshallsee，myfriend，repliedMr。BenAllen，fiercely。Hepausedforafewseconds，andaddedinavoicebrokenbyemotion，Youhavelovedherfromachild，myfriend。Youlovedherwhenwewereboysatschooltogether，and，eventhen，shewaswayward，andslightedyouryoungfeelings。Doyourecollect，withalltheeagernessofachild’slove，onedaypressinguponheracceptance，twosmallcaraway-seedbiscuitsandonesweetapple，neatlyfoldedintoacircularparcelwiththeleafofacopybook？
Ido，repliedBobSawyer。
Sheslightedthat，Ithink？saidBenAllen。
Shedid，rejoinedBob。ShesaidIhadkepttheparcelsolonginthepocketsofmycorduroys，thattheapplewasunpleasantlywarm。
Iremember，saidMr。Allen，gloomily。Uponwhichweateitourselves，inalternatebites。
BobSawyerintimatedhisrecollectionofthecircumstancelastalludedto，byamelancholyfrown。andthetwofriendsremainedforsometimeabsorbed，eachinhisownmeditations。
WhiletheseobservationswerebeingexchangedbetweenMr。BobSawyerandMr。BenjaminAllen。andwhiletheboyinthegreylivery，marvellingattheunwontedprolongationofthedinner，castananxiouslook，fromtimetotime，towardstheglassdoor，distractedbyinwardmisgivingsregardingtheamountofmincedvealwhichwouldbeultimatelyreservedforhisindividualcravings。thererolledsoberlyonthroughthestreetsofBristol，aprivatefly，paintedofasadgreencolour，drawnbyachubbysortofbrownhorse，anddrivenbyasurly-lookingmanwithhislegsdressedlikethelegsofagroom，andhisbodyattiredinthecoatofacoachman。Suchappearancesarecommontomanyvehiclesbelongingto，andmaintainedby，oldladiesofeconomichabits。andinthisvehicle，satanoldladywhowasitsmistressandproprietor。
Martin！saidtheoldlady，callingtothesurlyman，outofthefrontwindow。
Well？saidthesurlyman，touchinghishattotheoldlady。
Mr。Sawyer’s，saidtheoldlady。
Iwasgoingthere，saidthesurlyman。
Theoldladynoddedthesatisfactionwhichthisproofofthesurlyman’sforesightimpartedtoherfeelings。andthesurlymangivingasmartlashtothechubbyhorse，theyallrepairedtoMr。BobSawyer’stogether。
Martin！saidtheoldlady，whentheflystoppedatthedoorofMr。
RobertSawyer，lateNockemorf。
Well？saidMartin。
Asktheladtostepout，andmindthehorse。
I’mgoingtomindthehorsemyself，saidMartin，layinghiswhipontheroofofthefly。
Ican’tpermitit，onanyaccount，saidtheoldlady。yourtestimonywillbeveryimportant，andImusttakeyouintothehousewithme。Youmustnotstirfrommysideduringthewholeinterview。Doyouhear？
Ihear，repliedMartin。
Well。whatareyoustoppingfor？
Nothing，repliedMartin。Sosaying，thesurlymanleisurelydescendedfromthewheel，onwhichhehadbeenpoisinghimselfonthetopsofthetoesofhisrightfoot，andhavingsummonedtheboyinthegreylivery，openedthecoach-door，flungdownthesteps，andthrustinginahandenvelopedinadarkwash-leatherglove，pulledouttheoldladywithasmuchunconcerninhismannerasifshewereabandbox。
Dearme！exclaimedtheoldlady。Iamsoflurried，nowIhavegothere，Martin，thatI’mallinatremble。
Mr。Martincoughedbehindthedarkwash-leatherglove，butexpressednosympathy。sotheoldlady，composingherself，trottedupMr。BobSawyer’ssteps，andMr。Martinfollowed。Immediatelyontheoldlady’senteringtheshop，Mr。BenjaminAllenandMr。BobSawyer，whohadbeenputtingthespiritsandwateroutofsight，andupsettingnauseousdrugstotakeoffthesmellofthetobacco-smoke，issuedhastilyforthinatransportofpleasureandaffection。
Mydearaunt，exclaimedMr。BenAllen，howkindofyoutolookinuponus！Mr。Sawyer，aunt。myfriendMr。BobSawyerwhomIhavespokentoyouabout，regarding——youknow，aunt。AndhereMr。BenAllen，whowasnotatthemomentextraordinarilysober，addedthewordArabella，inwhatwasmeanttobeawhisper，butwhichwasanespeciallyaudibleanddistincttoneofspeech，whichnobodycouldavoidhearing，ifanybodyweresodisposed。
MydearBenjamin，saidtheoldlady，strugglingwithagreatshortnessofbreath，andtremblingfromheadtofoot：don’tbealarmed，mydear，butIthinkIhadbetterspeaktoMr。Sawyer，alone，foramoment。Onlyforonemoment。
Bob，saidMr。BenAllen，willyoutakemyauntintothesurgery？
Certainly，respondedBob，inamostprofessionalvoice。Stepthisway，mydearma’am。Don’tbefrightened，ma’am。Weshallbeabletosetyoutorightsinaveryshorttime，Ihavenodoubt，ma’am。Here，mydearma’am。Nowthen！Withthis，Mr。BobSawyerhavinghandedtheoldladytoachair，shutthedoor，drewanotherchairclosetoher，andwaitedtoheardetailedthesymptomsofsomedisorderfromwhichhesawinperspectivealongtrainofprofitsandadvantages。
Thefirstthingtheoldladydid，wastoshakeherheadagreatmanytimes，andbegintocry。
Nervous，saidBobSawyercomplacently。Camphorjulepandwaterthreetimesa-day，andcomposingdraughtatnight。
Idon’tknowhowtobegin，Mr。Sawyer，saidtheoldlady。Itissoverypainfulanddistressing。
Youneednotbegin，ma’am，rejoinedMr。BobSawyer。Icananticipateallyouwouldsay。Theheadisinfault。
Ishouldbeverysorrytothinkitwastheheart，saidtheoldlady，withaslightgroan。
Nottheslightestdangerofthat，ma’am，repliedBobSawyer。Thestomachistheprimarycause。
Mr。Sawyer！exclaimedtheoldlady，starting。
Nottheleastdoubtofit，ma’am，rejoinedBob，lookingwondrouswise。
Medicine，intime，mydearma’am，wouldhavepreventeditall。
Mr。Sawyer，saidtheoldlady，moreflurriedthanbefore，thisconductiseithergreatimpertinencetooneinmysituation，sir，oritarisesfromyournotunderstandingtheobjectofmyvisit。Ifithadbeeninthepowerofmedicine，oranyforesightIcouldhaveused，topreventwhathasoccurred，Ishouldcertainlyhavedoneso。Ihadbetterseemynephewatonce，saidtheoldlady，twirlingherreticuleindignantly，andrisingasshespoke。
Stopamoment，ma’am，saidBobSawyer。I’mafraidIhavenotunderstoodyou。Whatisthematter，ma’am？
Myniece，Mr。Sawyer，saidtheoldlady。yourfriend’ssister。
Yes，ma’am，saidBob，allimpatience。fortheoldlady，althoughmuchagitated，spokewiththemosttantalisingdeliberation，asoldladiesoftendo。Yes，ma’am。
Leftmyhome，Mr。Sawyer，threedaysago，onapretendedvisittomysister，anotherauntofhers，whokeepsthelargeboarding-schooljustbeyondthethirdmile-stonewherethereisaverylargelaburnumtreeandanoakgate，saidtheoldlady，stoppinginthisplacetodryhereyes。
Oh，deviltakethelaburnumtree，ma’am！saidBob，quiteforgettinghisprofessionaldignityinhisanxiety。Getonalittlefaster。putalittlemoresteamon，ma’am，pray。
Thismorning，saidtheoldlady，slowly，thismorning，she——
Shecameback，ma’am，Isuppose，saidBob，withgreatanimation。Didshecomeback？
No，shedidnot。shewrote，repliedtheoldlady。
Whatdidshesay？inquiredBob，eagerly。
Shesaid，Mr。Sawyer，repliedtheoldlady——anditisthis，IwantyoutoprepareBenjamin’smindfor，gentlyandbydegrees。shesaidthatshewas——Ihavegottheletterinmypocket，Mr。Sawyer，butmyglassesareinthecarriage，andIshouldonlywasteyourtimeifIattemptedtopointoutthepassagetoyou，withoutthem。shesaid，inshort，Mr。Sawyer，thatshewasmarried。
What！said，orrathershouted，Mr。BobSawyer。
Married，repeatedtheoldlady。
Mr。BobSawyerstoppedtohearnomore。butdartingfromthesurgeryintotheoutershop，criedinastentorianvoice，Ben，myboy，she’sbolted！
Mr。BenAllen，whohadbeenslumberingbehindthecounter，withhisheadhalfafootorsobelowhisknees，nosoonerheardthisappallingcommunication，thanhemadeaprecipitaterushatMr。Martin，and，twistinghishandintheneckclothofthattaciturnservitor，expressedanintentionofchokinghimwherehestood。Thisintention，withapromptitudeoftentheeffectofdesperation，heatoncecommencedcarryingintoexecution，withmuchvigourandsurgicalskill。
Mr。Martin，whowasamanoffewwordsandpossessedbutlittlepowerofeloquenceorpersuasion，submittedtothisoperationwithaverycalmandagreeableexpressionofcountenance，forsomeseconds。finding，however，thatitthreatenedspeedilytoleadtoaresultwhichwouldplaceitbeyondhispowertoclaimanywages，boardorotherwise，inalltimetocome，hemutteredaninarticulateremonstranceandfelledMr。BenjaminAllentotheground。Asthatgentlemanhadhishandsentangledinhiscravat，hehadnoalternativebuttofollowhimtothefloor。Theretheybothlaystruggling，whentheshopdooropened，andthepartywasincreasedbythearrivaloftwomostunexpectedvisitors：towit，Mr。Pickwick，andMr。
SamuelWeller。
TheimpressionatonceproducedonMr。Weller’smindbywhathesaw，was，thatMr。MartinwashiredbytheestablishmentofSawyerlateNockemorf，totakestrongmedicine，ortogointofitsandbeexperimentalisedupon，ortoswallowpoisonnowandthenwiththeviewoftestingtheefficacyofsomenewantidotes，ortodosomethingorothertopromotethegreatscienceofmedicine，andgratifytheardentspiritofinquiryburninginthebosomsofitstwoyoungprofessors。So，withoutpresumingtointerfere，Samstoodperfectlystill，andlookedon，asifheweremightilyinterestedintheresultofthethenpendingexperiment。Notso，Mr。Pickwick。Heatoncethrewhimselfontheastonishedcombatants，withhisaccustomedenergy，andloudlycalledupontheby-standerstointerpose。
ThisrousedMr。BobSawyer，whohadbeenhithertoquiteparalysedbythefrenzyofhiscompanion。Withthatgentleman’sassistance，Mr。PickwickraisedBenAllentohisfeet。Mr。Martinfindinghimselfaloneonthefloor，gotup，andlookedabouthim。