Thepeoplethatattractedhisattentionmost，werethreeorfourmenofshabby-genteelappearance，whotouchedtheirhatstomanyoftheattorneyswhopassed，andseemedtohavesomebusinessthere，thenatureofwhichMr。Pickwickcouldnotdivine。Theywerecurious-lookingfellows。Onewasaslimandratherlamemaninrustyblack，andawhiteneckerchief。anotherwasastoutburlyperson，dressedinthesameapparel，withagreatreddish-blackclothroundhisneck。athird，wasalittleweazendrunken-lookingbody，withapimplyface。Theywereloiteringabout，withtheirhandsbehindthem，andnowandthenwithananxiouscountenancewhisperedsomethingintheearofsomeofthegentlemenwithpapers，astheyhurriedby。Mr。
Pickwickrememberedtohaveveryoftenobservedthemloungingunderthearchwaywhenhehadbeenwalkingpast。andhiscuriositywasquiteexcitedtoknowtowhatbranchoftheprofessionthesedingy-lookingloungerscouldpossiblybelong。
HewasabouttopropoundthequestiontoNamby，whokeptclosebehindhim，suckingalargegoldringonhislittlefinger，whenPerkerbustledup，andobservingthattherewasnotimetolose，ledthewayintotheInn。AsMr。Pickwickfollowed，thelamemansteppeduptohim，andcivillytouchinghishat，heldoutawrittencard，whichMr。Pickwick，notwishingtohurttheman’sfeelingsbyrefusing，courteouslyacceptedanddepositedinhiswaistcoat-pocket。
Now，saidPerker，turningroundbeforeheenteredoneoftheoffices，toseethathiscompanionswereclosebehindhim。Inhere，mydearsir。
Hallo，whatdoyouwant？
Thislastquestionwasaddressedtothelameman，who，unobservedbyMr。Pickwick，madeoneoftheparty。Inreplytoit，thelamemantouchedhishatagain，withallimaginablepoliteness，andmotionedtowardsMr。
Pickwick。
No，no，saidPerkerwithasmile。Wedon’twantyou，mydearfriend，wedon’twantyou。
Ibegyourpardon，sir，saidthelameman。Thegentlemantookmycard。Ihopeyouwillemployme，sir。Thegentlemannoddedtome。I’llbejudgedbythegentlemanhimself。Younoddedtome，sir？
Pooh，pooh，nonsense。Youdidn’tnodtoanybody，Pickwick？Amistake，amistake，saidPerker。
Thegentlemanhandedmehiscard，repliedMr。Pickwick，producingitfromhiswaistcoat-pocket。Iacceptedit，asthegentlemanseemedtowishit——infactIhadsomecuriositytolookatitwhenIshouldbeatleisure。I——
Thelittleattorneyburstintoaloudlaugh，andreturningthecardtothelameman，informinghimitwasallamistake，whisperedtoMr。Pickwickasthemanturnedawayindudgeon，thathewasonlyabail。
Awhat！exclaimedMr。Pickwick。
Abail！repliedPerker。
Abail！
Yes，mydearsir——halfadozenof’emhere。Bailyoutoanyamount，andonlychargehalf-a-crown。Curioustrade，isn’tit？saidPerker，regalinghimselfwithapinchofsnuff。
What！AmItounderstandthatthesemenearnalivelihoodbywaitingabouthere，toperjurethemselvesbeforethejudgesoftheland，attherateofhalf-a-crownacrime！exclaimedMr。Pickwick，quiteaghastatthedisclosure。
Why，Idon’texactlyknowaboutperjury，mydearsir，repliedthelittlegentleman。Harshword，mydearsir，veryharshwordindeed。It’salegalfiction，mydearsir，nothingmore。Sayingwhich，theattorneyshruggedhisshoulders，smiled，tookasecondpinchofsnuff，andledthewayintotheofficeofthejudge’sclerk。
Thiswasaroomofspeciallydirtyappearance，withaverylowceilingandoldpanelledwalls。andsobadlylighted，thatalthoughitwasbroaddayoutside，greattallowcandleswereburningonthedesks。Atoneend，wasadoorleadingtothejudge’sprivateapartment，roundwhichwerecongregatedacrowdofattorneysandmanagingclerks，whowerecalledin，intheorderinwhichtheirrespectiveappointmentsstooduponthefile。Everytimethisdoorwasopenedtoletapartyout，thenextpartymadeaviolentrushtogetin。and，asinadditiontothenumerousdialogueswhichpassedbetweenthegentlemenwhowerewaitingtoseethejudge，avarietyofpersonalsquabblesensuedbetweenthegreaterpartofthosewhohadseenhim，therewasasmuchnoiseascouldwellberaisedinanapartmentofsuchconfineddimensions。
Norweretheconversationsofthesegentlementheonlysoundsthatbrokeupontheear。Standingonaboxbehindawoodenbaratanotherendoftheroom，wasaclerkinspectacles，whowastakingtheaffidavits：largebatchesofwhichwere，fromtimetotime，carriedintotheprivateroombyanotherclerkforthejudge’ssignature。Therewerealargenumberofattorneys’clerkstobesworn，anditbeingamoralimpossibilitytoswearthemallatonce，thestrugglesofthesegentlementoreachtheclerkinspectacles，werelikethoseofacrowdtogetinatthepitdoorofatheatrewhenGraciousMajestyhonoursitwithitspresence。Anotherfunctionary，fromtimetotime，exercisedhislungsincallingoverthenamesofthosewhohadbeensworn，forthepurposeofrestoringtothemtheiraffidavitsaftertheyhadbeensignedbythejudge：whichgaverisetoafewmorescuffles。andallthesethingsgoingonatthesametime，occasionedasmuchbustleasthemostactiveandexcitablepersoncoulddesiretobehold。
Therewereyetanotherclassofpersons——thosewhowerewaitingtoattendsummonsestheiremployershadtakenout，whichitwasoptionaltotheattorneyontheoppositesidetoattendornot——andwhosebusinessitwas，fromtimetotime，tocryouttheoppositeattorney’sname，tomakecertainthathewasnotinattendancewithouttheirknowledge。
Forexample。Leaningagainstthewall，closebesidetheseatMr。Pickwickhadtaken，wasanoffice-ladoffourteen，withatenorvoice。nearhim，acommon-lawclerkwithabassone。
Aclerkhurriedinwithabundleofpapers，andstaredabouthim。
SniggleandBlink，criedthetenor。
PorkinandSnob，growledthebass。
StumpyandDeacon，saidthenew-comer。
Nobodyanswered。thenextmanwhocamein，washailedbythewholethree。
andheinhisturnshoutedforanotherfirm。andthensomebodyelseroaredinaloudvoiceforanother。andsoforth。
Allthistime，themaninspectacleswashardatwork，swearingtheclerks：theoathbeinginvariablyadministered，withoutanyeffortatpunctuation，andusuallyinthefollowingterms：
Takethebookinyourrighthandthisisyournameandhand-writingyouswearthatthecontentsofthisyouraffidavitaretruesohelpyouGodashillingyoumustgetchangeIhaven’tgotit。
Well，Sam，saidMr。Pickwick，Isupposetheyaregettingthehabeascorpusready。
Yes，saidSam，andIvishthey’dbringoutthehave-his-carcase。
It’sweryunpleasantkeepin’usvaitin’here。I’dha’gothalfadozenhave-his-carcasesready，pack’dupandall，bythistime。
Whatsortofcumbrousandunmanageablemachine，SamWellerimaginedahabeascorpustobe，doesnotappear。forPerker，atthatmoment，walkedup，andtookMr。Pickwickaway。
Theusualformshavingbeengonethrough，thebodyofSamuelPickwickwassoonafterwardsconfidedtothecustodyofthetipstaff，tobebyhimtakentotheWardenoftheFleetPrison，andtheredetaineduntiltheamountofthedamagesandcostsintheactionofBardellagainstPickwickwasfullypaidandsatisfied。
Andthat，saidMr。Pickwick，laughing，willbeaverylongtime。
Sam，callanotherhackney-coach。Perker，mydearfriend，goodbye。
Ishallgowithyou，andseeyousafethere，saidPerker。
Indeed，repliedMr。Pickwick，IwouldrathergowithoutanyotherattendantthanSam。AssoonasIgetsettled，Iwillwriteandletyouknow，andIshallexpectyouimmediately。Untilthen，goodbye。
AsMr。Pickwicksaidthis，hegotintothecoachwhichhadbythistimearrived：followedbythetipstaff。Samhavingstationedhimselfonthebox，itrolledaway。
Amostextraordinarymanthat！saidPerker，ashestoppedtopullonhisgloves。
Whatabankrupthe’dmake，sir，observedMr。Lowten，whowasstandingnear。Howhewouldbotherthecommissioners！He’dset’ematdefianceiftheytalkedofcommittinghim，sir。
Theattorneydidnotappearverymuchdelightedwithhisclerk’sprofessionalestimateofMr。Pickwick’scharacter，forhewalkedawaywithoutdeigninganyreply。
Thehackney-coachjoltedalongFleetStreet，ashackney-coachesusuallydo。Thehorseswentbetter，thedriversaid，whentheyhadanythingbeforethemtheymusthavegoneatamostextraordinarypacewhentherewasnothing，andsothevehiclekeptbehindacart。whenthecartstopped，itstopped。
andwhenthecartwentonagain，itdidthesame。Mr。Pickwicksatoppositethetipstaff。andthetipstaffsatwithhishatbetweenhisknees，whistlingatune，andlookingoutofthecoachwindow。
Timeperformswonders。Bythepowerfuloldgentleman’said，evenahackney-coachgetsoverhalfamileofground。Theystoppedatlength，andMr。PickwickalightedatthegateoftheFleet。
Thetipstaff，lookingoverhisshouldertoseethathischargewasfollowingcloseathisheels，precededMr。Pickwickintotheprison。turningtotheleft，aftertheyhadentered，theypassedthroughanopendoorintoalobbyfromwhichaheavygate：oppositetothatbywhichtheyhadentered，andwhichwasguardedbyastoutturnkeywiththekeyinhishand：ledatonceintotheinterioroftheprison。
Heretheystopped，whilethetipstaffdeliveredhispapers。andhereMr。Pickwickwasapprisedthathewouldremain，untilhehadundergonetheceremony，knowntotheinitiatedassittingforyourportrait。
Sittingformyportrait！saidMr。Pickwick。
Havingyourlikenesstaken，sir，repliedthestoutturnkey。We’recapitalhandsatlikenesseshere。Take’eminnotime，andalwaysexact。
Walkin，sir，andmakeyourselfathome。
Mr。Pickwickcompliedwiththeinvitation，andsathimselfdown：whenMr。Weller，whostationedhimselfatthebackofthechair，whisperedthatthesittingwasmerelyanothertermforundergoinganinspectionbythedifferentturnkeys，inorderthattheymightknowprisonersfromvisitors。
Well，Sam，saidMr。Pickwick，thenIwishtheartistswouldcome。
Thisisratherapublicplace。
Theyvontbelong，sir，Ides-say，repliedSam。There’saDutchclock，sir。
SoIsee，observedMr。Pickwick。
Andabird-cage，sir，saysSam。Veelsvithinveels，aprisoninaprison。Ain’tit，sir？
AsMr。Wellermadethisphilosophicalremark，Mr。Pickwickwasawarethathissittinghadcommened。Thestoutturnkey，havingbeenrelievedfromthelock，satdown，andlookedathimcarelessly，fromtimetotime，whilealongthinmanwhohadrelievedhim，thrusthishandsbeneathhiscoat-tails，andplantinghimselfopposite，tookagoodlongviewofhim。
Athirdrathersurly-lookinggentleman：whohadapparentlybeendisturbedathistea，forhewasdisposingofthelastremnantofacrustandbutterwhenhecamein：stationedhimselfclosetoMr。Pickwick。and，restinghishandsonhiships，inspectedhimnarrowly。whiletwoothersmixedwiththegroup，andstudiedhisfeatureswithmostintentandthoughtfulfaces。
Mr。Pickwickwincedagooddealundertheoperation，andappearedtositveryuneasilyinhischair。buthemadenoremarktoanybodywhileitwasbeingperformed，noteventoSam，whoreclineduponthebackofthechair，reflecting，partlyonthesituationofhismaster，andpartlyonthegreatsatisfactionitwouldhaveaffordedhimtomakeafierceassaultuponalltheturnkeysthereassembled，oneaftertheother，ifitwerelawfulandpeaceablesotodo。
Atlengththelikenesswascompleted，andMr。Pickwickwasinformed，thathemightnowproceedintotheprison。
WhereamItosleepto-night？inquiredMr。Pickwick。
WhyIdon’trightlyknowaboutto-night，repliedthestoutturnkey。
You’llbechummedonsomebodytomorrow，andthenyou’llbeallsnugandcomfortable。Thefirstnight’sgenerallyratherunsettled，butyou’llbesetallsquaresto-morrow。
Aftersomediscussion，itwasdiscoveredthatoneoftheturnkeyshadabedtolet，whichMr。Pickwickcouldhaveforthatnight。Hegladlyagreedtohireit。
Ifyou’llcomewithme，I’llshowityouatonce，saidtheman。Itain’talarge’un。butit’sanout-and-outertosleepin。Thisway，sir。
Theypassedthroughtheinnergate，anddescendedashortflightofsteps。Thekeywasturnedafterthem。andMr。Pickwickfoundhimself，forthefirsttimeinhislife，withinthewallsofadebtor’sprison。
[NextChapter][TableofContents]ThePickwickPapers：Chapter41[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]CHAPTERXLIWHATBEFELLMR。PICKWICKWHENHEGOTINTOTHEFLEET。
WHATPRISONERSHESAWTHERE。ANDHOWHEPASSEDTHENIGHT
MR。TOMROKER，thegentlemanwhohadaccompaniedMr。Pickwickintotheprison，turnedsharproundtotherightwhenhegottothebottomofthelittleflightofsteps，andledtheway，throughanirongatewhichstoodopen，andupanothershortflightofsteps，intoalongnarrowgallery，dirtyandlow，pavedwithstone，andverydimlylightedbyawindowateachremoteend。
This，saidthegentleman，thrustinghishandsintohispockets，andlookingcarelesslyoverhisshouldertoMr。Pickwick，Thishereisthehallflight。
Oh，repliedMr。Pickwick，lookingdownadarkandfilthystaircase，whichappearedtoleadtoarangeofdampandgloomystonevaults，beneaththeground，andthose，Isuppose，arethelittlecellarswheretheprisonerskeeptheirsmallquantitiesofcoals。Unpleasantplacestohavetogodownto。butveryconvenient，Idaresay。
Yes，Ishouldn’twonderiftheywasconvenient，repliedthegentleman，seeingthatafewpeoplelivethere，prettysnug。That’stheFair，thatis。
Myfriend，saidMr。Pickwick，youdon’treallymeantosaythathumanbeingslivedowninthosewretcheddungeons？
Don’tI？repliedMr。Roker，withindignantastonishment。whyshouldn’tI？
Live！Livedownthere！exclaimedMr。Pickwick。
Livedownthere！Yes，anddiedownthere，too，weryoften！repliedMr。Roker。andwhatofthat？Who’sgottosayanythingaginit？Livedownthere！Yes，andawerygoodplaceitistolivein，ain’tit？
AsRokerturnedsomewhatfiercelyuponMr。Pickwickinsayingthis，and，moreovermutteredinanexcitedfashioncertainunpleasantinvocationsconcerninghisowneyes，limbs，andcirculatingfluids，thelattergentlemandeemeditadvisabletopursuethediscoursenofurther。Mr。Rokerthenproceededtomountanotherstaircase，asdirtyasthatwhichledtotheplacewhichhadjustbeenthesubjectofdiscussion，inwhichascenthewascloselyfollowedbyMr。PickwickandSam。
There，saidMr。Roker，pausingforbreathwhentheyreachedanothergalleryofthesamedimensionsastheonebelow，thisisthecoffee-roomflight。theoneabove’sthethird，andtheoneabovethat’sthetop。andtheroomwhereyou’rea-goingtosleepto-nightisthewarden’sroom，andit’sthisway——comeon。Havingsaidallthisinabreath，Mr。Rokermountedanotherflightofstairs，withMr。PickwickandSamWellerfollowingathisheels。
Thesestaircasesreceivedlightfromsundrywindowsplacedatsomelittledistanceabovethefloor，andlookingintoagravelledareaboundedbyahighbrickwall，withironchevaux-de-fviseatthetop。Thisarea，itappearedfromMr。Roker’sstatement，wastheracket-ground。anditfurtherappeared，onthetestimonyofthesamegentleman，thattherewasasmallerareainthatportionoftheprisonwhichwasnearestFarringdonStreet，denominatedandcalledthePaintedGround，fromthefactofitswallshavingoncedisplayedthesemblancesofvariousmen-of-warinfullsail，andotherartisticaleffectsachievedinbygonetimesbysomeimprisoneddraughtsmaninhisleisurehours。
Havingcommunicatedthispieceofinformation，apparentlymoreforthepurposeofdischarginghisbosomofanimportantfact，thanwithanyspecificviewofenlighteningMr。Pickwick，theguide，havingatlengthreachedanothergallery，ledthewayintoasmallpassageattheextremeend：openedadoor：anddisclosedanapartmentofanappearancebynomeansinviting，containingeightornineironbedsteads。
There，saidMr。Roker，holdingthedooropen，andlookingtriumphantlyroundatMr。Pickwick，there’saroom！
Mr。Pickwick’sface，however，betokenedsuchaverytriflingportionofsatisfactionattheappearanceofhislodging，thatMr。RokerlookedforareciprocityoffeelingintothecountenanceofSamuelWeller，who，untilnow，hadobservedadignifiedsilence。
There’saroom，youngman，observedMr。Roker。
Iseeit，repliedSam，withaplacidnodofthehead。
Youwouldn’tthinktofindsucharoomasthisintheFarringdonHotel，wouldyou？saidMr。Roker，withacomplacentsmile。
TothisMr。Wellerrepliedwithaneasyandunstudiedclosingofoneeye。whichmightbeconsideredtomean，eitherthathewouldhavethoughtit，orthathewouldnothavethoughtit，orthathehadneverthoughtanythingatallaboutit：astheobserver’simaginationsuggested。Havingexecutedthisfeat，andre-openedhiseye，Mr。WellerproceededtoinquirewhichwastheindividualbedsteadthatMr。Rokerhadsoflatteringlydescribedasanout-an-outertosleepin。
That’sit，repliedMr。Roker，pointingtoaveryrustyoneinacorner。
Itwouldmakeanyonegotosleep，thatbedsteadwould，whethertheywantedtoornot。
Ishouldthink，saidSam，eyeingthepieceoffurnitureinquestionwithalookofexcessivedisgust，Ishouldthinkpoppieswasnothingtoit。
Nothingatall，saidMr。Roker。
AndIs’pose，saidSam，withasidelongglanceathismaster，asiftoseewhethertherewereanysymptomsofhisdeterminationbeingshakenbywhatpassed，Is’posetheothergen’l’menassleepshere，aregen’l’men。
Nothingbutit，saidMr。Roker。Oneof’emtakeshistwelvepintsofalea-day，andneverleavesoffsmokingevenathismeals。
Hemustbeafirst-rater，saidSam。
A，I，repliedMr。Roker。
Nothingdaunted，evenbythisintelligence，Mr。Pickwicksmilinglyannouncedhisdeterminationtotestthepowersofthenarcoticbedsteadforthatnight。andMr。Roker，afterinforminghimthathecouldretiretorestatwhateverhourhethoughtproper，withoutanyfurthernoticeorformality，walkedoff，leavinghimstandingwithSaminthegallery。
Itwasgettingdark。thatistosay，afewgasjetswerekindledinthisplacewhichwasneverlight，bywayofcomplimenttotheevening，whichhadsetinoutside。Asitwasratherwarm，someofthetenantsofthenumerouslittleroomswhichopenedintothegalleryoneitherhand，hadsettheirdoorsajar。Mr。Pickwickpeepedintothemashepassedalong，withgreatcuriosityandinterest。Herefourorfivegreathulkingfellows，justvisiblethroughacloudoftobacco-smoke，wereengagedinnoisyandriotousconversationoverhalf-emptiedpotsofbeer，orplayingatall-fourswithaverygreasypackofcards。Intheadjoiningroom，somesolitarytenantmightbeseen，poring，bythelightofafeebletallowcandle，overabundleofsoiledandtatteredpapers，yellowwithdustanddroppingtopiecesfromage：writing，forthehundredthtime，somelengthenedstatementofhisgrievances，fortheperusalofsomegreatmanwhoseeyesitwouldneverreach，orwhoseheartitwouldnevertouch。Inathird，aman，withhiswifeandawholecrowdofchildrenmightbeseenmakingupascantybedontheground，oruponafewchairs，fortheyoungeronestopassthenightin。Andinafourth，andafifth，andasixth，andaseventh，thenoise，andthebeer，andthetobacco-smoke，andthecards，allcameoveragainingreaterforcethanbefore。
Inthegalleriesthemselves，andmoreespeciallyonthestaircases，therelingeredagreatnumberofpeople，whocamethere，somebecausetheirroomswereemptyandlonesome，othersbecausetheirroomswerefullandhot：thegreaterpartbecausetheywererestlessanduncomfortable，andnotpossessedofthesecretofexactlyknowingwhattodowiththemselves。
Thereweremanyclassesofpeoplehere，fromthelabouringmaninhisfustianjacket，tothebroken-downspendthriftinhisshawldressing-gown，mostappropriatelyoutatelbows。buttherewasthesameairaboutthemall——alistlessjail-birdcarelessswagger，avagabondishwho’s-afraidsortofbearing，whichiswhollyindescribableinwords，butwhichanymancanunderstandinonemomentifhewish，bysettingfootinthenearestdebtor’sprison，andlookingattheveryfirstgroupofpeopleheseesthere，withthesameinterestasMr。Pickwickdid。
Itstrikesme，Sam，saidMr。Pickwick，leaningovertheiron-railatthestairhead，Itstrikesme，Sam，thatimprisonmentfordebtisscarcelyanypunishmentatall。
Thinknot，sir？inquiredMr。Weller。
Youseehowthesefellowsdrink，andsmoke，androar，repliedMr。
Pickwick。It’squiteimpossiblethattheycanminditmuch。
Ah，that’sjustthewerything，sir，rejoinedSam，theydon’tmindit。it’saregularholidaytothem——allporterandskittles。It’sthet’othervunsasgetsdoneover，viththissorto’thing：themdown-heartedfellersascan’tsvigavayatthebeer，norplayatskittlesneither。themasvouldpayiftheycould，andgetslowbybeingboxedup。I’lltellyouwotitis，sir。themasisalwaysaidlin’inpublic-housesitdon’tdamageatall，andthemasisalwaysaworkin’wentheycan，itdamagestoomuch。
`It’sunekal，’asmyfatherusedtosaywenhisgrogwarn’tmadehalf-and-half：
`It’sunekal，andthat’sthefaultonit。’
Ithinkyou’reright，Sam，saidMr。Pickwick，afterafewmoments，reflection，quiteright。
P’raps，nowandthen，there’ssomehonestpeopleaslikesit，observedMr。Weller，inaruminativetone，butIneverheerdo’oneasIcancalltomind，’ceptthelittledirty-facedmaninthebrowncoat。andthatwasforceofhabit。
Andwhowashe？inquiredMr。Pickwick。
Wy，that’sjustthewerypointasnobodyneverknow’d，repliedSam。
Butwhatdidhedo？
Wy，hedidwotmanymenashasbeenmuchbetterknow’dhasdoneintheirtime，sir，repliedSam，herunamatchagintheconstable，andvunit。
Inotherwords，Isuppose，saidMr。Pickwick，hegotintodebt。
Justthat，sir，repliedSam，andincourseo’timehecomehereinconsekens。Itwarn’tmuch——executionforninepoundnothin’，multipliedbyfiveforcosts。buthows’everherehestoppedforseventeenyear。Ifhegotanywrinklesinhisface，theywasstoppedupviththedirt，forboththedirtyfaceandthebrowncoatwosjustthesameattheendo’
thattimeastheywosatthebeginnin’。Hewosawerypeacefulinoffendin’
littlecreetur，andwosalvaysabustlin’aboutforsomebody，orplayin’
racketsandnevervinnin’。tillatlasttheturnkeystheygotquitefondonhim，andhewosinthelodgeev’rynight，achatteringvith’em，andtellin’stories，andallthat’ere。Vunnighthewosinthereasusual，alongvithaweryoldfriendofhis，aswosonthelock，venhesaysallofasudden，`Iain’tseenthemarketoutside，Bill，’hesaysFleetMarketwosthereatthattime——`Iain’tseenthemarketoutside，Bill，’hesays，`forseventeenyear。’`Iknowyouain’t，’saystheturnkey，smokinghispipe。`Ishouldliketoseeitforaminit，Bill，’hesays。`Weryprobable，’
saystheturnkey，smokinghispipeweryfierce，andmakingbelievehewarn’tuptowotthelittlemanwanted。`Bill，’saysthelittleman，moreabruptthanafore，`I’vegotthefancyinmyhead。LetmeseethepublicstreetsoncemoreaforeIdie。andifIain’tstruckwithapoplexy，I’llbebackinfiveminitsbytheclock。’`Andwot’udbecomeo’meifyouwosstruckwithapoplexy？’saidtheturnkey。`Wy，’saysthelittlecreetur，`whoeverfoundme，’udbringmehome，forI’vegotmycardinmypocket，Bill，’hesays，`No。20，Coffee-roomFlight’：andthatwostrue，sureenough，forwenhewantedtomaketheacquaitanceofanynew-comer，heusedtopulloutalittlelimpcardviththemwordsonitandnothin’else。inconsiderationofvich，hewosalvayscalledNumberTventy。Theturnkeytakesafixedlookathim，andatlasthesaysinasolemnmanner，`Tventy，’
hesays，`I’lltrustyou。youwon’tgetyouroldfriendintotrouble。’
`No，myboy。IhopeI’vesomethin’betterbehindhere，’saysthelittleman。andashesaidithehithislittleveskitweryhard，andthenatearstartedouto’eacheye，whichwosweryextraordinary，foritwossupposedaswaternevertouchedhisface。Heshooktheturnkeybythehand。outhevent——
Andnevercamebackagain，saidMr。Pickwick。
Wrongforvunce，sir，repliedMr。Weller，forbackhecome，twominitsaforethetime，abilin’withrage：sayin’howhe’dbeennearlyrunoverbyahackney-coach：thathewarn’tusedtoit：andhewasblowedifhewouldn’twritetotheLordMayor。Theygothimpacifiedatlast。andforfiveyearsarterthat，heneverevensomuchaspeepedouto’thelodge-gate。
Attheexpirationofthattimehedied，Isuppose，saidMr。Pickwick。
Nohedidn’t，sir，repliedSam。Hegotacuriositytogoandtastethebeeratanewpublic-houseovertheway，anditwossuchaweryniceparlour，thathetookitintohisheadtogothereeverynight，wichhedidforalongtime，alwayscomin’backreg’laraboutaquarterofanhouraforethegateshut，wichwosallwerysnugandcomfortable。Atlasthebegantogetsopreciousjolly，thatheusedtoforgethowthetimevent，orcarenothin’atallaboutit，andheventongettin’laterandlater，tillvunnighthisoldfriendwosjustashuttin’thegate——hadturnedthekeyinfact——wenhecomeup。`Holdhard，Bill，’hesays。`Wot，ain’tyoucomehomeyet，Tventy？’saystheturnkey，`Ithoughtyouwosin，longago。’`NoIwasn’t，’saysthelittleman，vithasmile。`Wellthen，I’lltellyouwotitis，myfriend，’saystheturnkey，openin’thegateweryslowandsulky，`it’smy’pinionasyou’vegotintobadcompanyo’late，wichI’mwerysorrytosee。Now，Idon’twishtodonothingharsh，’hesays，`butifyoucan’tconfineyourselftosteadycircles，andfindyourvaybackatreg’larhours，assureasyou’reastandin’there，I’llshutyououtaltogether！’Thelittlemanwasseizedvithawiolentfito’tremblin’，andneverventoutsidetheprisonwallsartervards！
AsSamconcluded，Mr。Pickwickslowlyretracedhisstepsdown-stairs。
AfterafewthoughtfulturnsinthePaintedGround，which，asitwasnowdark，wasnearlydeserted，heintimatedtoMr。Wellerthathethoughtithightimeforhimtowithdrawforthenight。requestinghimtoseekabedinsomeadjacentpublic-house，andreturnearlyinthemorning，tomakearrangementsfortheremovalofhismaster’swardrobefromtheGeorgeandVulture。ThisrequestMr。SamuelWellerpreparedtoobey，withasgoodagraceashecouldbutwithaveryconsiderableshowofreluctancenevertheless。
Heevenwentsofarastoessaysundryineffectualhintsregardingtheexpediencyofstretchinghimselfonthegravelforthatnight。butfindingMr。Pickwickobstinatelydeaftoanysuchsuggestions，finallywithdrew。
ThereisnodisguisingthefactthatMr。Pickwickfeltverylow-spiritedanduncomfortable。notforlackofsociety，fortheprisonwasveryfull，andabottleofwinewouldatoncehavepurchasedtheutmostgood-fellowshipofafewchoicespirits，withoutanymoreformalceremonyofintroduction。
buthewasaloneinthecoarsevulgarcrowd，andfeltthedepressionofspiritandsinkingofheart，naturallyconsequentonthereflectionthathewascoopedandcagedup，withoutaprospectofliberation。AstotheideaofreleasinghimselfbyministeringtothesharpnessofDodsonandFogg，itneverforaninstantenteredhisthoughts。
Inthisframeofmindheturnedagainintothecoffee-roomgallery，andwalkedslowlytoandfro。Theplacewasintolerablydirty，andthesmelloftobacco-smokeperfectlysuffocating。Therewasaperpetualslammingandbangingofdoorsasthepeoplewentinandout。andthenoiseoftheirvoicesandfootstepsechoedandre-echoedthroughthepassagesconstantly。
Ayoungwoman，withachildinherarms，whoseemedscarcelyabletocrawl，fromemaciationandmisery，waswalkingupanddownthepassageinconversationwithherhusband，whohadnootherplacetoseeherin。AstheypassedMr。Pickwick，hecouldhearthefemalesob。andoncesheburstintosuchapassionofgrief，thatshewascompelledtoleanagainstthewallforsupport，whilethemantookthechildinhisarms，andtriedtosootheher。
Mr。Pickwick’sheartwasreallytoofulltobearit，andhewentup-stairstobed。
Now，althoughthewarden’sroomwasaveryuncomfortableonebeing，ineverypointofdecorationandconvenience，severalhundreddegreesinferiortothecommoninfirmaryofacountygaol，ithadatpresentthemeritofbeingwhollydesertedsavebyMr。Pickwickhimself。So，hesatdownatthefootofhislittleironbedstead，andbegantowonderhowmuchayearthewardenmadeoutofthedirtyroom。Havingsatisfiedhimself，bymathematicalcalculation，thattheapartmentwasaboutequalinannualvaluetothefreeholdofasmallstreetinthesuburbsofLondon，hetooktowonderingwhatpossibletemptationcouldhaveinducedadingy-lookingflythatwascrawlingoverhispantaloons，tocomeintoacloseprison，whenhehadthechoiceofsomanyairysituations——acourseofmeditationwhichledhimtotheirresistibleconclusionthattheinsectwasmad。Aftersettlingthispoint，hebegantobeconsciousthathewasgettingsleepy。
whereuponhetookhisnightcapoutofthepocketinwhichhehadhadtheprecautiontostowitinthemorning，and，leisurelyundressinghimself，gotintobed，andfellasleep。
Bravo！Heelovertoe——cutandshuffle——payawayatit，Zephyr！I’msmotherediftheOperaHouseisn’tyourproperhemisphere。Keepitup！
Hooray！Theseexpressions，deliveredinamostboisteroustone，andaccompaniedwithloudpealsoflaughter，rousedMr。Pickwickfromoneofthosesoundslumberswhich，lastinginrealitysomehalfhour，seemtothesleepertohavebeenprotractedforthreeweeksoramonth。
Thevoicehadnosoonerceasedthantheroomwasshakenwithsuchviolencethatthewindowsrattledintheirframes，andthebedsteadstrembledagain。
Mr。Pickwickstartedup，andremainedforsomeminutesfixedinmuteastonishmentatthescenebeforehim。
Ontheflooroftheroom，amaninabroad-skirtedgreencoat，withcorduroykneesmallsandgreycottonstockings，wasperformingthemostpopularstepsofahornpipe，withaslangandburlesquecaricatureofgraceandlightness，which，combinedwiththeveryappropriatecharacterofhiscostume，wasinexpressiblyabsurd。Anotherman，evidentlyverydrunk，whohadprobablybeentumbledintobedbyhiscampanions，wassittingupbetweenthesheets，warblingasmuchashecouldrecollectofacomicsong，withtheintenselysentimentalfeelingandexpression。whileathird，seatedononeofthebedsteads，wasapplaudingbothperformerswiththeairofaprofoundconnoisseur，andencouragingthembysuchebullitionsoffeelingashadalreadyrousedMr。Pickwickfromhissleep。
Thislastmanwasanadmirablespecimenofaclassofgentrywhichnevercanbeseeninfullperfectionbutinsuchplaces——theymaybemetwith，inanimperfectstate，occasionallyaboutstable-yardsandpublic-houses。
buttheyneverattaintheirfullbloomexceptinthesehot-beds，whichwouldalmostseemtobeconsideratelyprovidedbytheLegislatureforthesolepurposeofrearingthem。
Hewasatallfellow，withanolivecomplexion，longdarkhair，andverythickbushywhiskersmeetingunderhischin。Heworenoneckerchief，ashehadbeenplayingracketsallday，andhisopenshirtcollardisplayedtheirfullluxuriance。OnhisheadheworeoneofthecommoneighteenpennyFrenchskull-caps，withagawdytasseldanglingtherefrom，veryhappilyinkeepingwithacommonfustiancoat。Hislegs——which，beinglong，wereafflictedwithweakness——gracedapairofOxford-mixturetrousers，madetoshowthefullsymmetryofthoselimbs。Beingsomewhatnegligentlybraced，however，and，moreover，butimperfectlybuttoned，theyfellinaseriesofnotthemostgracefulfoldsoverapairofshoessufficientlydownatheeltodisplayapairofverysoiledwhitestockings。Therewasarakish，vagabondsmartness，andakindofboastfulrascality，aboutthewholeman，thatwasworthamineofgold。
ThisfigurewasthefirsttoperceivethatMr。Pickwickwaslookingon。uponwhichhewinkedtotheZephyr，andentreatedhim，withmockgravity，nottowakethegentleman。
Why，blessthegentleman’shonestheartandsoul！saidtheZephyr，turningroundandaffectingtheextremityofsurprise。thegentlemanisawake。Hem，Shakespeare！Howdoyoudo，sir？HowisMaryandSarah，sir？
andthedearoldladyathome，sir？Willyouhavethekindnesstoputmycomplimentsintothefirstlittleparcelyou’resendingthatway，sir，andsaythatIwouldhavesent’embefore，onlyIwasafraidtheymightbebrokeninthewaggon，sir？
Don’toverwhelmthegentlemanwithordinarycivilitieswhenyouseehe’sanxioustohavesomethingtodrink，saidthegentlemanwiththewhiskers，withajocoseair。Whydon’tyouaskthegentlemanwhathe’lltake？
Dearme，Iquiteforgot，repliedtheother。Whatwillyoutake，sir？Willyoutakeportwine，sir，orsherrywine，sir？Icanrecommendtheale，sir。orperhapsyou’dliketotastetheporter，sir？Allowmetohavethefelicityofhangingupyournightcap，sir。
Withthis，thespeakersnatchedthatarticleofdressfromMr。Pickwick’shead，andfixeditinatwinklingonthatofthedrunkenman，who，firmlyimpressedwiththebeliefthathewasdelightinganumerousassembly，continuedtohammerawayatthecomicsonginthemostmelancholystrainsimaginable。
Takingaman’snightcapfromhisbrowbyviolentmeans，andadjustingitontheheadofanunknowngentlemanofdirtyexterior，however，ingeniousawitticisminitself，isunquestionablyoneofthosewhichcomeunderthedenominationofpracticaljokes。Viewingthematterpreciselyinthislight，Mr。Pickwick，withouttheslightestintimationofhispurpose，sprangvigorouslyoutofbed，strucktheZephyrsosmartablowinthechestastodeprivehimofaconsiderableportionofthecommoditywhichsometimesbearshisname，andthen，recapturinghisnightcap，boldlyplacedhimselfinanattitudeofdefence。
Now，saidMr。Pickwick，gaspingnolessfromexcitementthanfromtheexpenditureofsomuchenergy，comeonbothofyou——bothofyou！
Withthisliberalinvitationtheworthygentlemancommunicatedarevolvingmotiontohisclenchedfists，bywayofappallinghisantagonistswithadisplayofscience。
ItmighthavebeenMr。Pickwick’sveryunexpectedgallantry，oritmighthavebeenthecomplicatedmannerinwhichhehadgothimselfoutofbed，andfallenallinamassuponthehornpipeman，thattouchedhisadversaries。
Touchedtheywere。for，insteadofthenandtheremakinganattempttocommitmanslaughter，asMr。Pickwickimplicitlybelievedtheywouldhavedone，theypaused，staredateachotherashorttime，andfinallylaughedoutright。
Well。you’reatrump，andIlikeyouallthebetterforit，saidtheZephyr。Nowjumpintobedagain，oryou’llcatchtherheumatics。Nomalice，Ihope？saidtheman，extendingahandthesizeoftheyellowclumpoffingerswhichsometimesswingoveraglover’sdoor。
Certainlynot，saidMr。Pickwickwithgreatalacrity。for，nowthattheexcitementwasover，hebegantofeelrathercoolaboutthelegs。
Allowmethehonour，saidthegentlemanwiththewhiskers，presentinghisdexterhand，andaspiratingtheh。
Withmuchpleasure，sir，saidMr。Pickwick。andhavingexecutedaverylongandsolemnshake，hegotintobedagain。
MynameisSmangle，sir，saidthemanwiththewhiskers。
Oh，saidMr。Pickwick。
MineisMivins，saidthemaninthestockings。
Iamdelightedtohearit，sir，saidMr。Pickwick。
Hem，coughedMr。Smangle。
Didyouspeak，sir？saidMr。Pickwick。
No，Ididnot，sir，saidMr。Smangle。
Ithoughtyoudid，sir，saidMr。Pickwick。
Allthiswasverygenteelandpleasant。and，tomakemattersstillmorecomfortable，Mr。SmangleassuredMr。Pickwickagreatmanytimesthatheentertainedaveryhighrespectforthefeelingsofagentleman。whichsentiment，indeed，didhiminfinitecredit，ashecouldbeinnowisesupposedtounderstandthem。
AreyougoingthroughtheCourt，sir？inquiredMr。Smangle。
Throughthewhat？saidMr。Pickwick。
ThroughtheCourt——PortugalStreet——theCourtfortheReliefof——youknow。
Oh，no，repliedMr。Pickwick。No，Iamnot。
Goingout，perhaps？suggestedMivins。
Ifearnot，repliedMr。Pickwick。Irefusetopaysomedamages，andamhereinconsequence。
Ah，saidMr。Smangle，paperhasbeenmyruin。
Astationer，Ipresume，sir？saidMr。Pickwick，innocently。
Stationer！No，no。confoundandcurseme！Notsolowasthat。Notrade。
WhenIsaypaper，Imeanbills。
Oh，youusethewordinthatsense。Isee，saidMr。Pickwick。
Damme！Agentlemanmustexpectreverses，saidSmangle。Whatofthat？
HereamIintheFleetPrison。Well。good。Whatthen？I’mnonetheworseforthat，amI？
Notabit，repliedMr。Mivins。Andhewasquiteright。for，sofarfromMr。Smanglebeinganytheworseforit，hewassomethingthebetter，inasmuchastoqualifyhimselffortheplace，hehadattainedgratuitouspossessionofcertainarticlesofjewellery，which，longbeforethat，hadfoundtheirwaytothepawnbroker’s。
Well。butcome，saidMr。Smangle。thisisdrywork。Let’srinseourmouthswithadropofburntsherry。thelastcomershallstandit，Mivinsshallfetchit，andI’llhelptodrinkit。That’safairandgentlemanlikedivisionoflabour，anyhow。Curseme！
Unwillingtohazardanotherquarrel，Mr。Pickwickgladlyassentedtotheproposition，andconsignedthemoneytoMr。Mivins，who，asitwasnearlyeleveno’clock，lostnotimeinrepairingtothecoffee-roomonhiserrand。
Isay，whisperedSmangle，themomenthisfriendhadlefttheroom。
whatdidyougivehim？
Halfasovereign，saidMr。Pickwick。
He’sadevilishpleasantgentlemanlydog，saidMr。Smangle——infernalpleasant。Idon’tknowanybodymoreso。but——HereMr。Smanglestoppedshort，andshookhisheaddubiously。
Youdon’tthinkthereisanyprobabilityofhisappropriatingthemoneytohisownuse？saidMr。Pickwick。
Oh，no！Mind，Idon’tsaythat。Iexpresslysaythathe’sadevilishgentlemanlyfellow，saidMr。Smangle。ButIthink，perhaps，ifsomebodywentdown，justtoseethathedidn’tdiphisbeakintothejugbyaccident，ormakesomeconfoundedmistakeinlosingthemoneyashecameup-stairs，itwouldbeaswell。Here，yousir，justrundown-stairs，andlookafterthatgentleman，willyou？
Thisrequestwasaddressedtoalittletimid-lookingnervousman，whoseappearancebespokegreatpoverty，andwhohadbeencrouchingonhisbedsteadallthiswhile，apparentlystupefiedbythenoveltyofhissituation。
Youknowwherethecoffee-roomis，saidSmangle。justrundown，andtellthatgentlemanyou’vecometohelphimupwiththejug。Or——stop——I’lltellyouwhat——I’lltellyouhowwe’lldohim，saidSmangle，withacunninglook。
How？saidMr。Pickwick。
Senddownwordthathe’stospendthechangeincigars。Capitalthought。
Runandtellhimthat。d’yehear？Theyshan’tbewasted，continuedSmangle，turningtoMr。Pickwick。I’llsmoke’em。
Thismanoeuvringwassoexceedinglyingenious，and，withal，performedwithsuchimmovablecomposureandcoolness，thatMr。Pickwickwouldhavehadnowishtodisturbit，evenifhehadhadthepower。InashorttimeMr。Mivinsreturned，bearingthesherry，whichMr。Smangledispensedintwolittlecrackedmugs：consideratelyremarking，withreferencetohimself，thatagentlemanmustnotbeparticularundersuchcircumstances，andthat，forhispart，hewasnottooproudtodrinkoutofthejug。Inwhich，toshowhissincerity，heforthwithpledgedthecompanyinadraughtwhichhalfemptiedit。
Anexcellentunderstandinghavingbeenbythesemeanspromoted，Mr。
Smangleproceededtoentertainhishearerswitharelationofdiversromanticadventuresinwhichhehadbeenfromtimetotimeengaged，involvingvariousinterestinganecdotesofathorough-bredhorse，andamagnificentJewess，bothofsurpassingbeauty，andmuchcovetedbythenobilityandgentryofthesekingdoms。
Longbeforetheseelegantextractsfromthebiographyofagentlemanwereconcluded，Mr。Mivinshadbetakenhimselftobed，andhadsetinsnoringforthenight：leavingthetimidstrangerandMr。PickwicktothefullbenefitofMr。Smangle’sexperiences。
Norwerethetwolast-namedgentlemanasmuchedifiedastheymighthavebeen，bythemovingpassagesnarrated。Mr。Pickwickhadbeeninastateofslumberforsometime，whenhehadafaintperceptionofthedrunkenmanburstingoutafreshwiththecomicsong，andreceivingfromMr。Smangleagentleintimation，throughthemediumofthewater-jug，thathisaudiencewerenotmusicallydisposed。Mr。Pickwickthenonceagaindroppedofftosleep，withaconfusedconsciousnessthatMr。Smanglewasstillengagedinrelatingalongstory，thechiefpointofwhichappearedtobe，that，onsomeoccasionparticularlystatedandsetforth，hehaddoneabillandagentlemanatthesametime。
[NextChapter][TableofContents]ThePickwickPapers：Chapter42[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]CHAPTERXLIIILLUSTRATIVE，LIKETHEPRECEDINGONE，OFTHEOLD
PROVERB，THATADVERSITYBRINGSAMANACQUAINTEDWITHSTRANGEBED-FELLOWS。
LIKEWISECONTAININGMR。PICKWICK’SEXTRAORDINARYANDSTARTLINGANNOUNCEMENT
TOMR。SAMUELWELLER
WHENMr。Pickwickopenedhiseyesnextmorning，thefirstobjectuponwhichtheyrestedwasSamuelWeller，seateduponasmallblackportmanteau，intentlyregarding，apparentlyinaconditionofprofoundabstraction，thestatelyfigureofthedashingMr。Smangle：
whileMr。Smanglehimself，whowasalreadypartiallydressed，wasseatedonhisbedstead，occupiedinthedesperatelyhopelessattemptofstaringMr。Welleroutofcountenance。Wesaydesperatelyhopeless，becauseSam，withacomprehensivegazewhichtookinMr。Smangle’scap，feet，head，face，legs，andwhiskers，allatthesametime，continuedtolooksteadilyon，witheverydemonstrationoflivelysatisfaction，butwithnomoreregardtoMr。Smangle’spersonalsentimentsonthesubjectthanhewouldhavedisplayedhadhebeeninspectingawoodenstatue，orastraw-embowelledGuyFaux。
Well。willyouknowmeagain？saidMr。Smangle，withafrown。
I’dsveartoyouanyveres，sir，repliedSam，cheerfully。
Don’tbeimpertinenttoagentleman，sir，saidMr。Smangle。
Notonnoaccount，repliedSam。Ifyou’lltellmewenhewakes，I’llbeuponthewerybestextra-superbehaviour！Thisobservation，havingaremotetendencytoimplythatMr。Smanglewasnogentleman，kindledhisire。
Mivins！saidMr。Smangle，withapassionateair。
What’stheoffice？repliedthatgentlemanfromhiscouch。
Whothedevilisthisfellow？
’Gad，saidMr。Mivins，lookinglazilyoutfromunderthebed-clothes，Ioughttoaskyouthat。Hasn’theanybusinesshere？
No，repliedMr。Smangle。
Thenknockhimdown-stairs，andtellhimnottopresumetogetuptillIcomeandkickhim，rejoinedMr。Mivins。withthispromptadvicethatexcellentgentlemanagainbetookhimselftoslumber。
Theconversationexhibitingtheseunequivocalsymptomsofvergingonthepersonal，Mr。Pickwickdeemeditafitpointatwhichtointerpose。
Sam，saidMr。Pickwick。
Sir，rejoinedthatgentleman。
Hasanythingnewoccurredsincelastnight？
Nothin’partickler，sir，repliedSam，glancingatMr。Smangle’swhiskers。
thelateprewailanceofacloseandconfinedatmospherehasbeenraytherfavourabletothegrowthofveeds，ofanalarmin’andsangvinarynatur。
butviththat’ereexceptionthingsisquietenough。
Ishallgetup，saidMr。Pickwick。givemesomecleanthings。
WhateverhostileintentionsMr。Smanglemighthaveentertained，histhoughtswerespeedilydivertedbytheunpackingoftheportmanteau。thecontentsofwhichappearedtoimpresshimatoncewithamostfavourableopinion，notonlyofMr。Pickwick，butofSamalso，who，hetookanearlyopportunityofdeclaringinatoneofvoiceloudenoughforthateccentricpersonagetooverhear，wasaregularthoroughbredoriginal，andconsequentlytheverymanafterhisownheart。AstoMr。Pickwick，theaffectionheconceivedforhimknewnolimits。
NowisthereanythingIcandoforyou，mydearsir？saidSmangle。
NothingthatIamawareof，Iamobligedtoyou，repliedMr。Pickwick。
Nolinenthatyouwantsenttothewasherwoman’s？Iknowadelightfulwasherwomanoutside，thatcomesformythingstwiceaweek。and，byJove！——howdevilishlucky！——thisisthedayshecalls。ShallIputanyofthoselittlethingsupwithmine？Don’tsayanythingaboutthetrouble。Confoundandcurseit！ifonegentlemanunderacloud，isnottoputhimselfalittleoutofthewaytoassistanothergentlemaninthesamecondition，what’shumannature？
ThusspakeMr。Smangle，edginghimselfmeanwhileasnearaspossibletotheportmanteau，andbeamingforthlooksofthemostferventanddisinterestedfriendship。
There’snothingyouwanttogiveoutforthemantobrush，mydearcreature，isthere？resumedSmangle。
Nothin’whatever，myfinefeller，rejoinedSam，takingthereplyintohisownmouth。P’rapsifvunofuswostobrush，withouttroublingtheman，it’udbemoreagreeableforallparties，astheschoolmastersaidwentheyounggentlemanobjectedtobeingfloggedbythebutler。
Andthere’snothingthatIcansendinmylittleboxtothewasherwoman’s，isthere？saidSmangle，turningfromSamtoMr。Pickwick，withanairofsomediscomfiture。
Nothin’whatever，sir，retortedSam。I’mafeerdthelittleboxmustbechockfullo’yourownasitis。
ThisspeechwasaccompaniedwithsuchaveryexpressivelookatthatparticularportionofMr。Smangle’sattire，bytheappearanceofwhichtheskilloflaundressesingettingupgentlemen’slinenisgenerallytested，thathewasfaintoturnuponhisheel，and，forthepresentatanyrate，togiveupalldesignonMr。Pickwick’spurseandwardrobe。Heaccordinglyretiredindudgeontotheracket-ground，wherehemadealightandwholesomebreakfastonacoupleofthecigarswhichhadbeenpurchasedonthepreviousnight。
Mr。Mivins，whowasnosmoker，andwhoseaccountforsmallarticlesofchandleryhadalsoreacheddowntothebottomoftheslate，andbeencarriedovertotheotherside，remainedinbed，and，inhisownwords，tookitoutinsleep。
Afterbreakfastinginasmallclosetattachedtothecoffee-room，whichboretheimposingtitleoftheSnuggery。thetemporaryinmateofwhich，inconsiderationofasmalladditionalcharge，hadtheunspeakableadvantageofoverhearingalltheconversationinthecoffee-roomaforesaid。andafterdispatchingMr。Welleronsomenecessaryerrands，Mr。PickwickrepairedtotheLodge，toconsultMr。Rokerconcerninghisfutureaccommodation。
Accommodation，eh？saidthatgentleman，consultingalargebook。Plentyofthat，Mr。Pickwick。Yourchummageticketwillbeontwenty-seven，inthethird。
Oh，saidMr。Pickwick。Mywhat，didyousay？
Yourchummageticket，repliedMr。Roker。you’reuptothat？
Notquite，repliedMr。Pickwick，withasmile。
Why，saidMr。Roker，it’sasplainasSalisbury。You’llhaveachummageticketupontwenty-seveninthethird，andthemasisintheroomwillbeyourchums。
Aretheremanyofthem？inquiredMr。Pickwick，dubiously。
Three，repliedMr。Roker。
Mr。Pickwickcoughed。
Oneof’em’saparson，saidMr。Roker，fillingupalittlepieceofpaperashespoke。another’sabutcher。
Eh？exclaimedMr。Pickwick。
Abutcher，repeatedMr。Roker，givingthenibofhispenataponthedesktocureitofadisinclinationtomark。Whatathorough-pacedgoerheusedtobesure-ly！YourememberTomMartin，Neddy？saidRoker，appealingtoanothermaninthelodge，whowasparingthemudoffhisshoeswithafive-and-twenty-bladedpocketknife。
Ishouldthinkso，repliedthepartyaddressed，withastrongemphasisonthepersonalpronoun。
Blessmydeareyes！saidMr。Roker，shakinghisheadslowlyfromsidetoside，andgazingabstractedlyoutofthegratedwindowsbeforehim，asifhewerefondlyrecallingsomepeacefulsceneofhisearlyyouth。
itseemsbutyesterdaythathewhoppedthecoal-heaverdownFox-under-the-Hillbythewharfthere。IthinkIcanseehimnow，acominguptheStrandbetweenthetwostreet-keepers，alittlesoberedbythebruising，withapatcho’winegarandbrownpaperoverhisrighteyelid，andthat’erelovelybull-dog，aspinnedthelittleboyarterwards，afollowingathisheels。
WhatarumthingTimeis，ain’tit，Neddy？
Thegentlemantowhomtheseobservationswereaddressed，whoappearedofataciturnandthoughtfulcast，merelyechoedtheinquiry。Mr。Roker，shakingoffthepoeticalandgloomytrainofthoughtintowhichhehadbeenbetrayed，descendedtothecommonbusinessoflife，andresumedhispen。
Doyouknowwhatthethirdgentlemanis？inquiredMr。Pickwick，notverymuchgratifiedbythisdescriptionofhisfutureassociates。
WhatisthatSimpson，Neddy？saidMr。Roker，turningtohiscompanion。
WhatSimpson？saidNeddy。
Whyhimintwenty-seveninthethird，thatthisgentleman’sgoingtobechummedon。
Oh，him！repliedNeddy：he’snothingexactly。Hewasahorsechaunter：he’salegnow。
Ah，soIthought，rejoinedMr。Roker，closingthebook，andplacingthesmallpieceofpaperinMr。Pickwick’shands。
That’stheticket，sir。
Verymuchperplexedbythissummarydispositionofhisperson，Mr。Pickwickwalkedbackintotheprison，revolvinginhismindwhathehadbetterdo。
Convinced，however，thatbeforehetookanyotherstepsitwouldbeadvisabletosee，andholdpersonalconversewith，thethreegentlemenwithwhomitwasproposedtoquarterhim，hemadethebestofhiswaytothethirdflight。
Aftergropingaboutinthegalleryforsometime，attemptinginthedimlighttodecipherthenumbersonthedifferentdoors，heatlengthappealedtoapotboy，whohappenedtobepursuinghismorningoccupationofgleaningforpewter。
Whichistwenty-seven，mygoodfellow？saidMr。Pickwick。
Fivedoorsfurtheron，repliedthepotboy。There’sthelikenessofamanbeinghung，andsmokingapipethewhile，chalkedoutsidethedoor。
Guidedbythisdirection，Mr。Pickwickproceededslowlyalongthegalleryuntilheencounteredtheportraitofagentleman，abovedescribed，uponwhosecountenancehetapped，withtheknuckleofhisfore-finger——gentlyatfirst，andthenaudibly。Afterrepeatingthisprocessseveraltimeswithouteffect，heventuredtoopenthedoorandpeepin。
Therewasonlyonemanintheroom，andhewasleaningoutofwindowasfarashecouldwithoutoverbalancinghimself，endeavouring，withgreatperseverance，tospituponthecrownofthehatofapersonalfriendontheparadebelow。Asneitherspeaking，coughing，sneezing，knocking，noranyotherordinarymodeofattractingattention，madethispersonawareofthepresenceofavisitor，Mr。Pickwick，aftersomedelay，steppeduptothewindow，andpulledhimgentlybythecoat-tail。Theindividualbroughtinhisheadandshoulderswithgreatswiftness，andsurveyingMr。Pickwickfromheadtofoot，demandedinasurlytonewhatthe——somethingbeginningwithacapitalH——hewanted。
Ibelieve，saidMr。Pickwick，consultinghisticket，Ibelievethisistwenty-seveninthethird？
Well？repliedthegentleman。
Ihavecomehereinconsequenceofreceivingthisbitofpaper，rejoinedMr。Pickwick。
Handitover，saidthegentleman。
Mr。Pickwickcomplied。
IthinkRokermighthavechummedyousomewhereelse，saidMr。Simpsonforitwastheleg，afteraverydiscontentedsortofapause。
Mr。Pickwickthoughtsoalso。but，underallthecircumstances，heconsidereditamatterofsoundpolicytobesilent。
Mr。Simpsonmusedforafewmomentsafterthis，andthen，thrustinghisheadoutofthewindow，gaveashrillwhistle，andpronouncedsomewordaloud，severaltimes。Whatthewordwas，Mr。Pickwickcouldnotdistinguish。
butheratherinferredthatitmustbesomenicknamewhichdistinguishedMr。Martin：fromthefactofagreatnumberofgentlemenonthegroundbelow，immediatelyproceedingtocryButcher！inimitationofthetoneinwhichthatusefulclassofsocietyarewont，diurnally，tomaketheirpresenceknownatarearailings。
SubsequentoccurrencesconfirmedtheaccuracyofMr。Pickwick’simpression。
for，inafewseconds，agentlemanprematurelybroadforhisyears：clothedinaprofessionalbluejeanfrock，andtop-bootswithcirculartoes：enteredtheroomnearlyoutofbreath，closelyfollowedbyanothergentlemaninveryshabbyblack，andaseal-skincap。Thelattergentleman，whofastenedhiscoatallthewayuptohischinbymeansofapinandabuttonalternately，hadaverycoarseredface，andlookedlikeadrunkenchaplain。which，indeed，hewas。
ThesetwogentlemenhavingbyturnsperusedMr。Pickwick’sbillet，theoneexpressedhisopinionthatitwasarig，andtheotherhisconvictionthatitwasago。Havingrecordedtheirfeelingsintheseveryintelligibleterms，theylookedatMr。Pickwickandeachotherinawkwardsilence。
It’sanaggravatingthing，justaswegotthebedssosnug，saidthechaplain，lookingatthreedirtymattresses，eachrolledupinablanket：
whichoccupiedonecorneroftheroomduringtheday，andformedakindofslab，onwhichwereplacedanoldcrackedbasin，ewer，andsoap-dish，ofcommonyellowearthenware，withablueflower：Veryaggravating。
Mr。Martinexpressedthesameopinioninratherstrongerterms。Mr。
Simpson，afterhavingletavarietyofexpletiveadjectiveslooseuponsocietywithoutanysubstantivetoaccompanythem，tuckeduphissleeves，andbegantowashthegreensfordinner。
Whilethiswasgoingon，Mr。Pickwickhadbeeneyeingtheroom，whichwasfilthilydirty，andsmeltintolerablyclose。Therewasnovestigeofeithercarpet，curtain，orblind。Therewasnotevenaclosetinit。Unquestionablytherewerebutfewthingstoputaway，iftherehadbeenone。but，howeverfewinnumber，orsmallinindividualamount，still，remnantsofloavesandpiecesofcheese，anddamptowels，andscragsofmeat，andarticlesofwearingapparel，andmutilatedcrockery，andbellowswithoutnozzles，andtoasting-forkswithoutprongs，dopresentsomewhatofanuncomfortableappearancewhentheyarescatteredaboutthefloorofasmallapartment，whichisthecommonsittingandsleepingroomofthreeidlemen。
Isupposethiscanbemanagedsomehow，saidthebutcher，afteraprettylongsilence。Whatwillyoutaketogoout？
Ibegyourpardon，repliedMr。Pickwick。Whatdidyousay？Ihardlyunderstandyou。
Whatwillyoutaketobepaidout？saidthebutcher。Theregularchummageistwo-and-six。Willyoutakethreebob？——
Andabender，suggestedtheclericalgentleman。
Well，Idon’tmindthat。it’sonlytwopencea-piecemore，saidMr。
Martin。
Whatdoyousay，now？We’llpayyououtforthree-and-sixpenceaweek。
Come！
Andstandagallonofbeerdown，chimedinMr。Simpson。There！
Anddrinkitonthespot，saidthechaplain。Now！
Ireallyamsowhollyignorantoftherulesofthisplace，returnedMr。Pickwick，thatIdonotyetcomprehendyou。CanIliveanywhereelse？IthoughtIcouldnot。
AtthisinquiryMr。Martinlooked，withacountenanceofexcessivesurprise，athistwofriends，andtheneachgentlemanpointedwithhisrightthumboverhisleftshoulder。Thisaction，imperfectlydescribedinwordsbytheveryfeebletermofovertheleft，whenperformedbyanynumberofladiesorgentlemenwhoareaccustomedtoactinunison，hasaverygracefulandairyeffect。itsexpressionisoneoflightandplayfulsarcasm。
Canyou！repeatedMr。Martin，withasmileofpity。
Well，ifIknewaslittleoflifeasthat，I’deatmyhatandswallowthebucklewhole，saidtheclericalgentleman。
SowouldI，addedthesportingone，solemnly。
Afterthisintroductorypreface，thethreechumsinformedMr。Pickwick，inabreath，thatmoneywas，intheFleet，justwhatmoneywasoutofit。
thatitwouldinstantlyprocurehimalmostanythinghedesired。andthat，supposinghehadit，andhadnoobjectiontospendit，ifheonlysignifiedhiswishtohavearoomtohimself，hemighttakepossessionofone，furnishedandfittedtoboot，inhalfanhour’stime。
Withthis，thepartiesseparated，verymuchtotheircommonsatisfaction：
Mr。Pickwickoncemoreretracinghisstepstothelodge：andthethreecompanionsadjourningtothecoffee-room，theretospendthefiveshillingswhichtheclericalgentlemanhad，withadmirableprudenceandforesight，borrowedofhimforthepurpose。
Iknowedit！saidMr。Roker，withachuckle，whenMr。Pickwickstatedtheobjectwithwhichhehadreturned。Didn’tIsayso，Neddy？
Thephilosophicalowneroftheuniversalpenknife，growledanaffirmative。
Iknowedyou’dwantaroomforyourself，blessyou！saidMr。Roker。
Letmesee。You’llwantsomefurnitur。You’llhirethatofme，Isuppose？
That’sthereg’larthing。
Withgreatpleasure，repliedMr。Pickwick。
There’sacapitalroomupinthecoffee-roomflight，thatbelongstoaChanceryprisoner，saidMr。Roker。It’llstandyouinapounda-week。
Isupposeyoudon’tmindthat？
Notatall，saidMr。Pickwick。
Juststeptherewithme，saidRoker，takinguphishatwithgreatalacrity。thematter’ssettledinfiveminutes。Lord！whydidn’tyousayatfirstthatyouwaswillingtocomedownhandsome？
Thematterwassoonarranged，astheturnkeyhadforetold。TheChanceryprisonerhadbeentherelongenoughtohavelostfriends，fortune，home，andhappiness，andtohaveacquiredtherightofhavingaroomtohimself。
Ashelaboured，however，undertheinconvenienceofoftenwantingamorselofbread，heeagerlylistenedtoMr。Pickwick’sproposaltorenttheapartment，andreadilycovenantedandagreedtoyieldhimupthesoleandundisturbedpossessionthereof，inconsiderationoftheweeklypaymentoftwentyshillings。
fromwhichfundhefurthermorecontractedtopayoutanypersonorpersonsthatmightbechummeduponit。
Astheystruckthebargain，Mr。Pickwicksurveyedhimwithapainfulinterest。Hewasatall，gaunt，cadaverousman，inanoldgreat-coatandslippers：withsunkencheeks，andarestless，eagereye。Hislipswerebloodless，andhisbonessharpandthin。Godhelphim！theironteethofconfinementandprivationhadbeenslowlyfilinghimdownfortwentyyears。
Andwherewillyoulivemeanwhile，sir，saidMr。Pickwick，ashelaidtheamountofthefirstweek’srent，inadvance，onthetotteringtable。
Themangatheredupthemoneywithatremblinghand，andrepliedthathedidn’tknowyet。hemustgoandseewherehecouldmovehisbedto。