I’maheavysleeper，saidMr。Dowler，asheflunghimselfonthebed。
Imustkeepawake。IsupposeIshallhearaknockhere。Yes。Ithoughtso。Icanhearthewatchman。Therehegoes。Fainternowthough。Alittlefainter。He’sturningthecorner。Ah！WhenMr。Dowlerarrivedatthispoint，heturnedthecorneratwhichhehadbeenlonghesitating，andfellfastasleep。
Justastheclockstruckthree，therewasblownintothecrescentasedan-chairwithMrs。Dowlerinside，bornebyoneshortfatchairman，andonelongthinone，whohadhadmuchadotokeeptheirbodiesperpendicular：
tosaynothingofthechair。Butonthathighground，andinthecrescent，whichthewindsweptroundandroundasifitweregoingtotearthepavingstonesup，itsfurywastremendous。Theywereverygladtosetthechairdown，andgiveagoodroundlouddouble-knockatthestreetdoor。
Theywaitedsometime，butnobodycame。
Servantsisinthearmso’Porpus，Ithink，saidtheshortchairman，warminghishandsattheattendantlink-boy’storch。
Iwishhe’dgive’emasqueezeandwake’em，observedthelongone。
Knockagain，willyou，ifyouplease，criedMrs。Dowlerfromthechair。
Knocktwoorthreetimes，ifyouplease。
Theshortmanwasquitewillingtogetthejobover，assoonaspossible。
sohestoodonthestep，andgavefourorfivemoststartlingdoubleknocks，ofeightortenknocksapiece：whilethelongmanwentintotheroad，andlookedupatthewindowsforalight。
Nobodycame。Itwasallassilentanddarkasever。
Dearme！saidMrs。Dowler。Youmustknockagain，ifyouplease。
Thereain’tabell，isthere，ma’am？saidtheshortchairman。
Yes，thereis，interposedthelink-boy，I’vebeenaringingatiteversolong。
It’sonlyahandle，saidMrs。Dowler，thewire’sbroken。
Iwishtheservants’headswos，growledthelongman。
Imusttroubleyoutoknockagain，ifyouplease，saidMrs。Dowlerwiththeutmostpoliteness。
Theshortmandidknockagainseveraltimes，withoutproducingthesmallesteffect。Thetallman，growingveryimpatient，thenrelievedhim，andkeptonperpetuallyknockingdouble-knocksoftwoloudknockseach，likeaninsanepostman。
AtlengthMr。Winklebegantodreamthathewasataclub，andthatthemembersbeingveryrefractory，thechairmanwasobligedtohammerthetableagooddealtopreserveorder。then，hehadaconfusednotionofanauctionroomwheretherewerenobidders，andtheauctioneerwasbuyingeverythingin。andultimatelyhebegantothinkitjustwithintheboundsofpossibilitythatsomebodymightbeknockingatthestreetdoor。Tomakequitecertain，however，heremainedquietinbedfortenminutesorso，andlistened。andwhenhehadcountedtwoorthreeandthirtyknocks，hefeltquitesatisfied，andgavehimselfagreatdealofcreditforbeingsowakeful。
Raprap——raprap——raprap——ra，ra，ra，ra，ra，rap！wenttheknocker。
Mr。Winklejumpedoutofbed，wonderingverymuchwhatcouldpossiblybethematter，andhastilyputtingonhisstockingsandslippers，foldedhisdressinggownroundhim，lightedaflatcandlefromtherush-lightthatwasburninginthefire-place，andhurrieddown-stairs。
Here’ssomebodycomin’atlast，ma’am，saidtheshortchairman。
IwishIwosbehindhimvithabradawl，mutteredthelongone。
Who’sthere？criedMr。Winkle，undoingthechain。
Don’tstoptoaskquestions，cast-ironhead，repliedthelongman，withgreatdisgust，takingitforgrantedthattheinquirerwasafootman。
butopenthedoor。
Come，looksharp，timbereye-lids，addedtheotherencouragingly。
Mr。Winkle，beinghalfasleep，obeyedthecommandmechanically，openedthedooralittle，andpeepedout。Thefirstthinghesaw，wastheredglareofthelink-boy’storch。Startledbythesuddenfearthatthehousemightbeonfire，hehastilythrewthedoorwideopen，andholdingthecandleabovehishead，staredeagerlybeforehim，notquitecertainwhetherwhathesawwasasedan-chairorafire-engine。Atthisinstanttherecameaviolentgustofwind。thelightwasblownout。Mr。Winklefelthimselfirresistiblyimpelledontothesteps。andthedoorblewto，withaloudcrash。
Well，youngman，nowyouhavedoneit！saidtheshortchairman。
Mr。Winkle，catchingsightofalady’sfaceatthewindowofthesedan，turnedhastilyround，pliedtheknockerwithallhismightandmain，andcalledfranticallyuponthechairmantotakethechairawayagain。
Takeitaway，takeitaway，criedMr。Winkle。Here’ssomebodycomingoutofanotherhouse。putmeintothechair。Hideme！Dosomethingwithme！
Allthistimehewasshiveringwithcold。andeverytimeheraisedhishandtotheknocker，thewindtookthedressinggowninamostunpleasantmanner。
ThepeoplearecomingdowntheCrescentnow。Thereareladieswith’em。covermeupwithsomething。Standbeforeme！roaredMr。Winkle。Butthechairmenweretoomuchexhaustedwithlaughingtoaffordhimtheslightestassistance，andtheladieswereeverymomentapproachingnearerandnearer。
Mr。Winklegavealasthopelessknock。theladieswereonlyafewdoorsoff。Hethrewawaytheextinguishedcandle，which，allthistime，hehadheldabovehishead，andfairlyboltedintothesedan-chairwhereMrs。
Dowlerwas。
Now，Mrs。Craddockhadheardtheknockingandthevoicesatlast。and，onlywaitingtoputsomethingsmarteronherheadthanhernight-cap，randownintothefrontdrawing-roomtomakesurethatitwastherightparty。
Throwingupthewindow-sashasMr。Winklewasrushingintothechair，shenosoonercaughtsightofwhatwasgoingforwardbelow，thansheraisedavehementanddismalshriek，andimploredMr。Dowlertogetupdirectly，forhiswifewasrunningawaywithanothergentleman。
UponthisMr。DowlerbouncedoffthebedasabruptlyasanIndia-rubberball，andrushingintothefrontroom，arrivedatonewindowjustasMr。
Pickwickthrewuptheother：whenthefirstobjectthatmetthegazeofboth，wasMr。Winkleboltingintothesedan-chair。
Watchman，shoutedDowlerfuriously。stophim——holdhim——keephimtight——shuthimin，tillIcomedown。I’llcuthisthroat——givemeaknife——fromeartoear，Mrs。Craddock——Iwill！Andbreakingfromtheshriekinglandlady，andfromMr。Pickwicktheindignanthusbandseizedasmallsupper-knife，andtoreintothestreet。
ButMr。Winkledidn’twaitforhim。HenosoonerheardthehorriblethreatofthevalorousDowler，thanhebouncedoutofthesedan，quiteasquicklyashehadbouncedin，andthrowingoffhisslippersintotheroad，tooktohisheelsandtoreroundtheCrescent，hotlypursuedbyDowlerandthewatchman。Hekeptahead。thedoorwasopenashecameroundthesecondtime。herushedin，slammeditinDowler’sface，mountedtohisbed-room，lockedthedoor，piledawash-hand-stand，chestofdrawers，andtableagainstit，andpackedupafewnecessariesreadyforflightwiththefirstrayofmorning。
Dowlercameuptotheoutsideofthedoor。avowed，throughthekeyhole，hissteadfastdeterminationofcuttingMr。Winkle’sthroatnextday。and，afteragreatconfusionofvoicesinthedrawing-room，amidstwhichthatofMr。Pickwickwasdistinctlyheardendeavouringtomakepeace，theinmatesdispersedtotheirseveralbed-chambers，andallwasquietoncemore。
Itisnotunlikelythattheinquirymaybemade，whereMr。Wellerwas，allthistime？Wewillstatewherehewasinthenextchapter。
[NextChapter][TableofContents]ThePickwickPapers：Chapter37[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]CHAPTERXXXVIIHONOURABLYACCOUNTSFORMR。WELLER’SABSENCE，BY
DESCRIBINGASOIREETOWHICHHEWASINVITEDANDWENT。ALSORELATESHOW
HEWASENTRUSTEDBYMR。PICKWICKWITHAPRIVATEMISSIONOFDELICACYAND
IMPORTANCE
MR。WELLER，saidMrs。Craddock，uponthemorningofthisveryeventfulday，here’saletterforyou。
Weryoddthat，saidSam，I’mafeerdtheremustbesomethin’thematter，forIdon’trecollectanygen’l’m’ninmycircleofacquaintanceasiscapableo’writin’one。
Perhapssomethinguncommonhastakenplace，observedMrs。Craddock。
Itmustbesomethin’weryuncommonindeed，ascouldproducealetterouto’anyfriendo’mine，repliedSam，shakinghisheaddubiously。nothin’
lessthananat’ralconwulsion，astheyounggen’l’m’nobservedvenhewostookwithfits。Itcan’tbefromthegov’ner，saidSam，lookingatthedirection。Healwaysprints，Iknow，’coshelearntwritin’fromthelargebillsinthebookin’offices。It’sawerystrangethingnow，wherethisherelettercanha’comefrom。
AsSamsaidthis，hedidwhatagreatmanypeopledowhentheyareuncertainaboutthewriterofanote，——lookedattheseal，andthenatthefront，andthenattheback，andthenatthesides，andthenatthesuperscription。
and，asalastresource，thoughtperhapshemightaswelllookattheinside，andtrytofindout，fromthat。
It’swroteongilt-edgedpaper，saidSam，asheunfoldedit，andsealedinbronzevaxwiththetopofadoor-key。Nowforit。And，withaverygraveface，Mr。Wellerslowlyreadasfollows：
AselectcompanyoftheBathfootmenpresentstheircomplimentstoMr。Weller，andrequeststhepleasureofhiscompanythisevening，toafriendlyswarry，consistingofaboiledlegofmuttonwiththeusualtrimmings。
Theswarrytobeontableathalf-pastnineo’clockpunctually。
Thiswasinclosedinanothernote，whichranthus——
Mr。JohnSmauker，thegentlemanwhohadthepleasureofmeetingMr。
Welleratthehouseoftheirmutualacquaintance，Mr。Bantam，afewdayssince，begstoencloseMr。Wellertheherewithinvitation。IfMr。WellerwillcallonMr。JohnSmaukeratnineo’clock，Mr。JohnSmaukerwillhavethepleasureofintroducingMr。Weller。SignedJOHNSMAUKER。
TheenvelopewasdirectedtoblankWeller，Esq。，atMr。Pickwick’s。
andinaparenthesis，inthelefthandcorner，werethewordsairybell，
asaninstructiontothebearer。
Vell，saidSam，thisiscomin’itraytherpowerful，thisis。Ineverheerdabiledlego’muttoncalledaswarryafore。Iwonderwotthey’dcallaroastone。
However，withoutwaitingtodebatethepoint，SamatoncebetookhimselfintothepresenceofMr。Pickwick，andrequestedleaveofabsenceforthatevening，whichwasreadilygranted。Withthispermission，andthestreet-doorkey，SamWellerissuedforthalittlebeforetheappointedtime，andstrolledleisurelytowardsQueenSquare，whichhenosoonergainedthanhehadthesatisfactionofbeholdingMr。JohnSmaukerleaninghispowderedheadagainstalamppostatashortdistanceoff，smokingacigarthroughanambertube。
Howdoyoudo，Mr。Weller？saidMr。JohnSmauker，raisinghishatgracefullywithonehand，whilehegentlywavedtheotherinacondescendingmanner。Howdoyoudo，sir？
Why，reasonablyconwalessent，repliedSam。Howdoyoufindyourself，mydearfeller？
Onlysoso，saidMr。JohnSmauker。
Ah，you’vebeenaworkin’toohard，observedSam。Iwasfearfulyouwould。itwon’tdo，youknow。youmustnotgivewaytothat’ereuncompromisin’
spirito’your’n。
It’snotsomuchthat，Mr。Weller，repliedMr。JohnSmauker，asbadwine。I’mafraidI’vebeendissipating。
Oh！that’sit，isit？saidSam。that’sawerybadcomplaint，that。
Andyetthetemptation，yousee，Mr。Weller，observedMr。JohnSmauker。
Ah，tobesure，saidSam。
Plungedintotheveryvortexofsociety，youknow，Mr。Weller，saidMr。JohnSmaukerwithasigh。
Dreadfulindeed！rejoinedSam。
Butit’salwaystheway，saidMr。JohnSmauker。ifyourdestinyleadsyouintopubliclife，andpublicstation，youmustexpecttobesubjectedtotemptationswhichotherpeopleisfreefrom，Mr。Weller。
Preciselywhatmyunclesaid，venheventintothepublicline，
remarkedSam，andweryrighttheoldgen’l’m’nwos，forhedrankhisselftodeathinsomethin’lessthanaquarter。
Mr。JohnSmaukerlookeddeeplyindignantatanyparallelbeingdrawnbetweenhimselfandthedeceasedgentlemaninquestion。butasSam’sfacewasinthemostimmovablestateofcalmness，hethoughtbetterofit，andlookedaffableagain。
Perhapswehadbetterbewalking，saidMr。Smauker，consultingacoppertime-piecewhichdweltatthebottomofadeepwatch-pocket，andwasraisedtothesurfacebymeansofablackstring，withacopperkeyattheotherend。
P’rapswehad，repliedSam，orthey’lloverdotheswarry，andthat’llspileit。
Haveyoudrankthewaters，Mr。Weller？inquiredhiscompanion，astheywalkedtowardsHighStreet。
Once，repliedSam。
Whatdidyouthinkof’em，sir？
Ithoughttheywospartickleryunpleasant，repliedSam。
Ah，saidMr。JohnSmauker，youdislikedthekillibeatetaste，perhaps？
Idon’tknowmuchaboutthat’ere，saidSam。Ithoughtthey’dawerystrongflavouro’warmflatirons。
Thatisthekillibeate，Mr。Weller，observedMr。JohnSmauker，contemptuously。
Well，ifitis，it’saweryinexpressiveword，that’sall，saidSam。
Itmaybe，butIain’tmuchinthechimicallinemyself，soIcan’tsay。
Andhere，tothegreathorrorofMr。JohnSmauker，SamWellerbegantowhistle。
Ibegyourpardon，Mr。Weller，saidMr。JohnSmauker，agonisedattheexceedinglyungenteelsound，Willyoutakemyarm？
Thank’ee，you’rewerygood，butIwon’tdepriveyouofit，repliedSam。I’veraytherawayo’puttin’myhandsinmypockets，ifit’sallthesametoyou。AsSamsaidthis，hesuitedtheactiontotheword，andwhistledfarlouderthanbefore。
Thisway，saidhisnewfriend，apparentlymuchrelievedastheyturneddownabyestreet。weshallsoonbethere。
Shallwe？saidSam，quiteunmovedbytheannouncementofhisclosevicinitytotheselectfootmenofBath。
Yes，saidMr。JohnSmauker。Don’tbealarmed，Mr。Weller。
Ohno，saidSam。
You’llseesomeveryhandsomeuniforms，Mr。Weller，continuedMr。
JohnSmauker。andperhapsyou’llfindsomeofthegentlemenratherhighatfirst，youknow，butthey’llsooncomeround。
That’swerykindon’em，repliedSam。
Andyouknow，resumedMr。JohnSmauker，withanairofsublimeprotection。
youknow，asyou’reastranger，perhapsthey’llberatherharduponyouatfirst。
Theywon’tbewerycruel，though，willthey？inquiredSam。
No，no，repliedMr。JohnSmauker，pullingforththefox’shead，andtakingagentlemanlypinch。Therearesomefunnydogsamongus，andtheywillhavetheirjoke，youknow。butyoumustn’tmind’em，youmustn’tmind’em。
I’lltryandbearupagainsuchareg’larknockdowno’talent，repliedSam。
That’sright，saidMr。JohnSmauker，puttingupthefox’shead，andelevatinghisown。I’llstandbyyou。
Bythistimetheyhadreachedasmallgreengrocer’sshop，whichMr。
JohnSmaukerentered，followedbySam：who，themomenthegotbehindhim，relapsedintoaseriesoftheverybroadestandmostunmitigatedgrins，andmanifestedotherdemonstrationsofbeinginahighlyenviablestateofinwardmerriment。
Crossingthegreengrocer’sshop，andputtingtheirhatsonthestairsinthelittlepassagebehindit，theywalkedintoasmallparlour。andherethefullsplendourofthesceneburstuponMr。Weller’sview。
Acoupleoftableswereputtogetherinthemiddleoftheparlour，coveredwiththreeorfourclothsofdifferentagesanddatesofwashing，arrangedtolookasmuchlikeoneasthecircumstancesofthecasewouldallow。
Uponthesewerelaidknivesandforksforsixoreightpeople。Someoftheknifehandlesweregreen，othersred，andafewyellow。andasalltheforkswereblack，thecombinationofcolourswasexceedinglystriking。
Platesforacorrespondingnumberofguestswerewarmingbehindthefender。
andthegueststhemselveswerewarmingbeforeit：thechiefandmostimportantofwhomappearedtobeastoutishgentlemaninabrightcrimsoncoatwithlongtails，vividlyredbreeches，andacockedhat，whowasstandingwithhisbacktothefire，andhadapparentlyjustentered，forbesidesretaininghiscockedhatonhishead，hecarriedinhishandahighstick，suchasgentlemenofhisprofessionusuallyelevateinaslopingpositionovertheroofsofcarriages。
Smauker，mylad，yourfin，saidthegentlemanwiththecockedhat。
Mr。Smaukerdovetailedthetopjointofhisrighthandlittlefingerintothatofthegentlemanwiththecockedhat，andsaidhewascharmedtoseehimlookingsowell。
Well，theytellmeIamlookingprettyblooming，saidthemanwiththecockedhat，andit’sawonder，too。I’vebeenfollowingouroldwomanabout，twohoursa-day，forthelastfortnight。andifaconstantcontemplationofthemannerinwhichshehooks-and-eyesthatinfernallavendercolouredoldgownofhersbehind，isn’tenoughtothrowanybodyintoalowstateofdespondencyforlife，stopmyquarter’ssalary。
Atthis，theassembledselectionslaughedveryheartily。andonegentlemaninayellowwaistcoat，withacoachtrimmingborder，whisperedaneighbouringreen-foilsmalls，thatTucklewasinspiritsto-night。
Bythebye，saidMr。Tuckle，Smauker，myboy，you——TheremainderofthesentencewasforwardedintoMr。JohnSmauker’sear，bywhisper。
Oh，dearme，Iquiteforgot，saidMr。JohnSmauker。Gentlemen，myfriendMr。Weller。
Sorrytokeepthefireoffyou，Weller，saidMr。Tuckle，withafamiliarnod。Hopeyou’renotcold，Weller。
Notbynomeans，Blazes，repliedSam。It’udbeawerychillysubjectasfeltcoldwenyoustoodopposit。You’dsavecoalsiftheyputyoubehindthefenderinthewaitin’roomatapublicoffice，youwould。
AsthisretortappearedtoconveyratherapersonalallusiontoMr。
Tuckle’scrimsonlivery，thatgentlemanlookedmajesticforafewseconds，butgraduallyedgingawayfromthefire，brokeintoaforcedsmile，andsaiditwasn’tbad。
Werymuchobligedforyourgoodopinion，sir，repliedSam。Weshallgetonbydegrees，Ides-say。We’lltryabetterone，bye-and-bye。
Atthispointtheconversationwasinterruptedbythearrivalofagentlemaninorange-colouredplush，accompaniedbyanotherselectioninpurplecloth，withagreatextentofstocking。Thenew-comershavingbeenwelcomedbytheoldones，Mr。Tuckleputthequestionthatsupperbeorderedin，whichwascarriedunanimously。
Thegreengrocerandhiswifethenarrangeduponthetableaboiledlegofmutton，hot，withcapersauce，turnips，andpotatoes。Mr。Tuckletookthechair，andwassupportedattheotherendoftheboardbythegentlemaninorangeplush。Thegreengrocerputonapairofwash-leatherglovestohandtheplateswith，andstationedhimselfbehindMr。Tuckle’schair。
Harris，saidMr。Tuckle，inacommandingtone。
Sir，saidthegreengrocer。
Haveyougotyourgloveson？
Yes，sir。
Thentakethekiveroff。
Yes，sir。
Thegreengrocerdidashewastold，withashowofgreathumility，andobsequiouslyhandedMr。Tucklethecarvingknife。indoingwhich，heaccidentallygaped。
Whatdoyoumeanbythat，sir？saidMr。Tuckle，withgreatasperity。
Ibegyourpardon，sir，repliedthecrest-fallengreengrocer，Ididn’tmeantodoit，sir。Iwasupverylatelastnight，sir。
Itellyouwhatmyopinionofyouis，Harris，saidMr。Tucklewithamostimpressiveair，you’reawulgarbeast。
Ihope，gentlemen，saidHarris，thatyouwon’tbeseverewithme，gentlemen。I’mverymuchobligedtoyouindeed，gentlemen，foryourpatronage，andalsoforyourrecommendations，gentlemen，wheneveradditionalassistanceinwaitingisrequired。Ihope，gentlemen，Igivesatisfaction。
No，youdon’t，sir，saidMr。Tuckle。Veryfarfromit，sir。
Weconsideryouaninattentivereskel，saidthegentlemanintheorangeplush。
Andalowthief，addedthegentlemaninthegreen-foilsmalls。
Andanunreclaimableblaygaird，addedthegentlemaninpurple。
Thepoorgreengrocerbowedveryhumblywhiletheselittleepithetswerebestoweduponhim，inthetruespiritoftheverysmallesttyranny。andwheneverybodyhadsaidsomethingtoshowhissuperiority，Mr。Tuckleproceededtocarvethelegofmutton，andtohelpthecompany。
Thisimportantbusinessoftheeveninghadhardlycommenced，whenthedoorwasthrownbrisklyopen，andanothergentlemaninalight-bluesuit，andleadenbuttons，madehisappearance。
Againsttherules，saidMr。Tuckle。Toolate，toolate。
No，no。positivelyIcouldn’thelpit，saidthegentlemaninblue。
Iappealtothecompany。Anaffairofgallantrynow，anappointmentatthetheayter。
Oh，thatindeed，saidthegentlemanintheorangeplush。
Yes。ralynow，honourbright，saidthemaninblue。Imadeapromesetofetchouryoungestdaughterathalfpastten，andsheissuchanuncauminlyfinegal，thatIralyhadn’tthe’arttodisappinther。Nooffencetothepresentcompany，sir，butapetticut，sir，apetticut，sir，isirrevokeable。
Ibegintosuspectthere’ssomethinginthatquarter，saidTuckle，asthenew-comertookhisseatnextSam。I’veremarked，onceortwice，thatsheleansveryheavyonyourshoulderwhenshegetsinandoutofthecarriage。
Ohraly，raly，Tuckle，youshouldn’t，saidthemaninblue。It’snotfair。Imayhavesaidtooneortwofriendsthatshewasaverydivinecreechure，andhadrefusedoneortwoofferswithoutanyhobvuscause，but——no，no，no，indeed，Tuckle——beforestrangers，too——it’snotright——youshouldn’t。Delicacy，mydearfriend，delicacy！Andthemaninblue，pullinguphisneckerchief，andadjustinghiscoatcuffs，noddedandfrownedasifthereweremorebehind，whichhecouldsayifheliked，butwasboundinhonourtosuppress。
Themaninbluebeingalight-haired，stiff-necked，freeandeasysortoffootman，withaswaggeringairandpertface，hadattractedMr。Weller’sespecialattentionatfirst，butwhenhebegantocomeoutinthisway，Samfeltmorethaneverdisposedtocultivatehisacquaintance。sohelaunchedhimselfintotheconversationatonce，withcharacteristicindependence。
Yourhealth，sir，saidSam。Ilikeyourconwersationmuch。Ithinkit’swerypretty。
Atthisthemaninbluesmiled，asifitwereacomplimenthewaswellusedto。butlookedapprovinglyonSamatthesametime，andsaidhehopedheshouldbebetteracquaintedwithhim，forwithoutanyflatteryatallheseemedtohavethemakingsofaverynicefellowabouthim，andtobejustthemanafterhisownheart。
You’rewerygood，sir，saidSam。Whataluckyfelleryouare！
Howdoyoumean？inquiredthegentlemaninblue。
That’ereyounglady，repliedSam。Sheknowswot’swot，shedoes。
Ah！Isee。Mr。Wellerclosedoneeye，andshookhisheadfromsidetoside，inamannerwhichwashighlygratifyingtothepersonalvanityofthegentlemaninblue。
I’mafraidyou’reacunningfellow，Mr。Weller，saidthatindividual。
No，no，saidSam。Ileaveallthat’eretoyou。It’sagreatdealmoreinyourwaythanmine，asthegen’l’m’nontherightsideo’thegardenvallsaidtothemanonthewrong’un，venthemadbullwosacomin’upthelane。
Well，well，Mr。Weller，saidthegentlemaninblue，Ithinkshehasremarkedmyairandmanner，Mr。Weller。
Ishouldthinkshecouldn’twerywellbeoffo’that，saidSam。
Haveyouanylittlethingofthatkindinhand，sir？inquiredthefavouredgentlemaninblue，drawingatoothpickfromhiswaistcoatpocket。
Notexactly，saidSam。There’snodaughtersatmyplace，elseo’
courseIshouldha’madeuptovunof’em。Asitis，Idon’tthinkIcandoanythin’underafemalemarkis。Imighttakeupwithayoung’oomano’largepropertyashadn’tatitle，ifshemadeweryfiercelovetome。
Notelse。
Ofcoursenot，Mr。Weller，saidthegentlemaninblue，onecan’tbetroubled，youknow。andweknow，Mr。Weller——we，whoaremenoftheworld——thatagooduniformmustworkitswaywiththewomen，soonerorlater。Infact，that’stheonlything，betweenyouandme，thatmakestheserviceworthenteringinto。
Justso，saidSam。That’sit，o’course。
Whenthisconfidentialdialoguehadgonethusfar，glasseswereplacedround，andeverygentlemanorderedwhathelikedbest，beforethepublic-houseshutup。Thegentlemaninblue，andthemaninorange，whowerethechiefexquisitesoftheparty，orderedcoldsrubandwater，butwiththeothers，ginandwater，sweet，appearedtobethefavouritebeverage。Samcalledthegreengroceradesp’ratewillin，andorderedalargebowlofpunch。
twocircumstanceswhichseemedtoraisehimverymuchintheopinionoftheselections。
Gentleman，saidthemaninblue，withanairofthemostconsummatedandyism，I’llgiveyoutheladies。come。
Hear，hear！saidSam，Theyoungmississes。
HeretherewasaloudcryofOrder，andMr。JohnSmauker，asthegentlemanwhohadintroducedMr。Wellerintothatcompany，beggedtoinformhimthatthewordhehadjustmadeuseof，wasunparliamentary。
Whichwordwasthat’ere，sir？inquiredSam。
Mississes，sir，repliedMr。JohnSmauker，withanalarmingfrown。
Wedon’trecognisesuchdistinctionshere。
Oh，werygood，Samsaid。thenI’llamendtheobserwation，andcallthemthedearcreeturs，ifBlazesvillallowme。
Somedoubtappearedtoexistinthemindofthegentlemaninthegreen-foilsmalls，whetherthechairmancouldbelegallyappealedto，asBlazes，
butasthecompanyseemedmoredisposedtostandupontheirownrightsthanhis，thequestionwasnotraised。Themanwiththecockedhatbreathedshort，andlookedlongatSam，butapparentlythoughtitaswelltosaynothing，incaseheshouldgettheworstofit。
Afterashortsilence，agentlemaninanembroideredcoatreachingdowntohisheels，andawaistcoatofthesamewhichkeptonehalfofhislegswarm，stirredhisginandwaterwithgreatenergy，andputtinghimselfuponhisfeet，allatonce，byaviolenteffort，saidhewasdesirousofofferingafewremarkstothecompany：whereuponthepersoninthecockedhat，hadnodoubtthatthecompanywouldbeveryhappytohearanyremarksthatthemaninthelongcoatmightwishtooffer。
Ifeelagreatdelicacy，gentlemen，incomingfor’ard，saidthemaninthelongcoat，havingthemisforchunetobeacoachman，andbeingonlyadmittedasahonorarymemberoftheseagreeableswarrys，butIdofeelmyselfbound，gentlemen——droveintoacorner，ifImayusetheexpression——tomakeknownanafflictingcircumstancewhichhascometomyknowledge。whichhashappenedImaysaywithinthesoapofmyeverydaycontemplation。Gentlemen，ourfriendMr。Whifferseverybodylookedattheindividualinorange，ourfriendMr。Whiffershasresigned。
Universalastonishmentfelluponthehearers。Eachgentlemanlookedinhisneighbour’sface，andthentransferredhisglancetotheupstandingcoachman。
Youmaywellbesapparised，gentlemen，saidthecoachman。Iwillnotwenchuretostatethereasonsofthisirrepairabellosstotheservice，butIwillbegMr。Whifferstostatethemhimself，fortheimprovementandimitationofhisadmiringfriends。
Thesuggestionbeingloudlyapprovedof，Mr。Whiffersexplained。Hesaidhecertainlycouldhavewishedtohavecontinuedtoholdtheappointmenthehadjustresigned。Theuniformwasextremelyrichandexpensive，thefemalesofthefamilywasmostagreeable，andthedutiesofthesituationwasnot，hewasboundtosay，tooheavy。theprincipalservicethatwasrequiredofhim，being，thatheshouldlookoutofthehallwindowasmuchaspossible，incompanywithanothergentleman，whohadalsoresigned。
Hecouldhavewishedtohavesparedthatcompanythepainfulanddisgustingdetailonwhichhewasabouttoenter，butastheexplanationhadbeendemandedofhim，hehadnoalternativebuttostate，boldlyanddistinctly，thathehadbeenrequiredtoeatcoldmeat。
Itisimpossibletoconceivethedisgustwhichthisavowalawakenedinthebosomsofthehearers。LoudcriesofShame！mingledwithgroansandhisses，prevailedforaquarterofanhour。
Mr。Whiffersthenaddedthathefearedaportionofthisoutragemightbetracedtohisownforbearingandaccommodatingdisposition。Hehadadistinctrecollectionofhavingonceconsentedtoeatsaltbutter，andhehad，moreover，onanoccasionofsuddensicknessinthehouse，sofarforgottenhimselfastocarryacoalscuttleuptothesecondfloor。Hetrustedhehadnotloweredhimselfinthegoodopinionofhisfriendsbyhisfrankconfessionofhisfaults。andhehopedthepromptnesswithwhichhehadresentedthelastunmanlyoutrageonhisfeelings，towhichhehadreferred，wouldreinstatehimintheirgoodopinion，ifhehad。
Mr。Whiffers’addresswasrespondedto，withashoutofadmiration，andthehealthoftheinterestingmartyrwasdrunkinamostenthusiasticmanner。forthis，themartyrreturnedthanks，andproposedtheirvisitor，Mr。Weller。agentlemanwhomhehadnotthepleasureofanintimateacquaintancewith，butwhowasthefriendofMr。JohnSmauker，whichwasasufficientletterofrecommendationtoanysocietyofgentlemenwhatever，orwherever。
Onthisaccount，heshouldhavebeendisposedtohavegivenMr。Weller’shealthwithallthehonours，ifhisfriendshadbeendrinkingwine。butastheyweretakingspiritsbywayofachange，andasitmightbeinconvenienttoemptyatumblerateverytoast，heshouldproposethatthehonoursbeunderstood。
Attheconclusionofthisspeech，everybodytookasipinhonourofSam。andSamhavingladledout，anddrunk，twofullglassesofpunchinhonourofhimself，returnedthanksinaneatspeech。
Werymuchobligedtoyou，oldfellers，saidSam，ladlingawayatthepunchinthemostunembarrassedmannerpossible，forthisherecompliment。
which，comin’fromsichaquarter，isweryovervelmin’。I’veheerdagooddealonyouasabody，butIwillsay，thatIneverthoughtyouwassichuncommonnicemenasIfindyouair。Ionlyhopeyou’lltakecareo’yourselves，andnotcompromisenothin’o’yourdignity，whichisawerycharmin’thingtosee，whenone’soutawalkin’，andhasalwaysmademeweryhappytolookat，eversinceIwasaboyabouthalfashighasthebrass-headedsticko’myweryrespectablefriend，Blazes，there。Astothewictimofoppressioninthesuito’brimstone，allIcansayofhim，is，thatIhopehe’llgetjistasgoodaberthashedeserves：invichcaseit’swerylittlecoldswarryaseverhe’llbetroubledwithagin。
HereSamsatdownwithapleasantsmile，andhisspeechhavingbeenvociferouslyapplauded，thecompanybrokeupWhy，youdon’tmeantosayyou’reagoin’，oldfeller？saidSamWellertohisfriendMr。JohnSmauker。
Imustindeed，saidMr。Smauker。IpromisedBantam。
Oh，werywell，saidSam。that’sanotherthing。P’rapshe’dresignifyoudisappintedhim。Youain’tagoin’，Blazes？
Yes，Iam，saidthemanwiththecockedhat。
Wot，andleavethreequartersofabowlofpunchbehindyou！saidSam。nonsense，setdownagin。
Mr。Tucklewasnotproofagainstthisinvitation。Helaidasidethecockedhatandstickwhichhehadjusttakenup，andsaidhewouldhaveoneglass，forgoodfellowship’ssake。
AsthegentlemaninbluewenthomethesamewayasMr。Tuckle，hewasprevailedupontostoptoo。Whenthepunchwasabouthalfgone，Samorderedinsomeoystersfromthegreengrocer’sshop。andtheeffectofbothwassoextremelyexhilarating，thatMr。Tuckle，dressedoutwiththecockedhatandstick，dancedthefroghornpipeamongtheshellsonthetable：
whilethegentlemaninblueplayedanaccompanimentuponaningeniousmusicalinstrumentformedofahaircombandacurl-paper。Atlast，whenthepunchwasallgone，andthenightnearlyso，theysalliedforthtoseeeachotherhome。Mr。Tucklenosoonergotintotheopenair，thanhewasseizedwithasuddendesiretolieonthecurbstone。Samthoughtitwouldbeapitytocontradicthim，andsolethimhavehisownway。Asthecockedhatwouldhavebeenspoiltifleftthere，Samveryconsideratelyflatteneditdownontheheadofthegentlemaninblue，andputtingthebigstickinhishand，proppedhimupagainsthisownstreet-door，rangthebell，andwalkedquietlyhome。
Atamuchearlierhournextmorningthanhisusualtimeofrising，Mr。
Pickwickwalkeddown-stairscompletelydressed，andrangthebell。
Sam，saidMr。Pickwick，whenMr。Wellerappearedinreplytothesummons，shutthedoor。
Mr。Wellerdidso。
Therewasanunfortunateoccurrencehere，lastnight，Sam，saidMr。
Pickwick，whichgaveMr。WinklesomecausetoapprehendviolencefromMr。Dowler。
SoI’veheerdfromtheoldladydown-stairs，sir，repliedSam。
AndI’msorrytosay，Sam，continuedMr。Pickwick，withamostperplexedcountenance，thatindreadofthisviolence，Mr。Winklehasgoneaway。
Goneaway！saidSam。
Leftthehouseearlythismorning，withouttheslightestpreviouscommunicationwithme，repliedMr。Pickwick。Andisgone，Iknownotwhere。
Heshouldha’stoppedandfoughtitout，sir，repliedSam，contemptuously。
Itwouldn’ttakemuchtosettlethat’ereDowler，sir。
Well，Sam，saidMr。Pickwick，Imayhavemydoubtsofhisgreatbraveryanddetermination，also。Buthoweverthatmaybe，Mr。Winkleisgone。Hemustbefound，Sam。Foundandbroughtbacktome。
Ands’posehewon’tcomeback，sir？saidSam。
Hemustbemade，Sam，saidMr。Pickwick。
Who’stodoit，sir？inquiredSamwithasmile。
You，repliedMr。Pickwick。
Werygood，sir。
WiththesewordsMr。Wellerlefttheroom，andimmediatelyafterwardswasheardtoshutthestreetdoor。Intwohours’timehereturnedwithasmuchcoolnessasifhehadbeendespatchedonthemostordinarymessagepossible，andbroughttheinformationthatanindividual，ineveryrespectansweringMr。Winkle’sdescription，hadgoneovertoBristolthatmorning，bythebranchcoachfromtheRoyalHotel。
Sam，saidMr。Pickwick，graspinghishand，you’reacapitalfellow。
aninvaluablefellow。Youmustfollowhim，Sam。
Cert’nly，sir，repliedMr。Weller。
Theinstantyoudiscoverhim，writetomeimmediately，Sam，saidMr。
Pickwick。Ifheattemptstorunawayfromyou，knockhimdown，orlockhimup。Youhavemyfullauthority，Sam。
I’llbewerycareful，sir，rejoinedSam。
You’lltellhim，saidMr。Pickwick，thatIamhighlyexcited，highlydispleased，andnaturallyindignant，attheveryextraordinarycoursehehasthoughtpropertopursue。
Iwill，sir，repliedSam。
You’lltellhim，saidMr。Pickwick，thatifhedoesnotcomebacktothisveryhouse，withyou，hewillcomebackwithme，forIwillcomeandfetchhim。
I’llmentionthat’ere，sir，rejoinedSam。
Youthinkyoucanfindhim，Sam？saidMr。Pickwick，lookingearnestlyinhisface。
Oh，I’llfindhimifhe’sanyvere，rejoinedSam，withgreatconfidence。
Verywell，saidMr。Pickwick。Thenthesooneryougothebetter。
Withtheseinstructions，Mr。Pickwickplacedasumofmoneyinthehandsofhisfaithfulservitor，andorderedhimtostartforBristolimmediately，inpursuitofthefugitive。
Samputafewnecessariesinacarpetbag，andwasreadyforstarting。
Hestoppedwhenhehadgottotheendofthepassage，andwalkingquietlyback，thrusthisheadinattheparlourdoor。
Sir，whisperedSam。
Well，Sam，saidMr。Pickwick。
Ifullyunderstandsmyinstructions，doI，sir？inquiredSam。
Ihopeso，saidMr。Pickwick。
It’sreg’larlyunderstoodabouttheknockin’down，isit，sir？inquiredSam。
Perfectly，repliedMr。Pickwick。Thoroughly。Dowhatyouthinknecessary。
Youhavemyorders。
Samgaveanodofintelligence，andwithdrawinghisheadfromthedoor，setforthonhispilgrimagewithalightheart。
[NextChapter][TableofContents]ThePickwickPapers：Chapter38[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]CHAPTERXXXVIIIHOWMR。WINKLE，WHENHESTEPPEDOUTOFTHEFRYINGPAN，WALKEDGENTLYANDCOMFORTABLYINTOTHEFIRE
THEill-starredgentlemanwhohadbeentheunfortunatecauseoftheunusualnoiseanddisturbancewhichalarmedtheinhabitantsoftheRoyalCrescentinmannerandformalreadydescribed，afterpassinganightofgreatconfusionandanxiety，lefttheroofbeneathwhichhisfriendsstillslumbered，boundheknewnotwhither。TheexcellentandconsideratefeelingswhichpromptedMr。Winkletotakethisstepcanneverbetoohighlyappreciatedortoowarmlyextolled。If，reasonedMr。Winklewithhimself，ifthisDowlerattemptsasIhavenodoubthewilltocarryintoexecutionhisthreatofpersonalviolenceagainstmyself，itwillbeincumbentonmetocallhimout。Hehasawife。thatwifeisattachedto，anddependentonhim。Heavens！IfIshouldkillhimintheblindnessofmywrath，whatwouldbemyfeelingseverafterwards！Thispainfulconsiderationoperatedsopowerfullyonthefeelingsofthehumaneyoungman，astocausehiskneestoknocktogether，andhiscountenancetoexhibitalarmingmanifestationsofinwardemotion。Impelledbysuchreflections，hegraspedhiscarpet-bag，andcreepingstealthilydown-stairs，shutthedetestablestreet-doorwithaslittlenoiseaspossible，andwalkedoff。BendinghisstepstowardstheRoyalHotel，hefoundacoachonthepointofstartingforBristol，and，thinkingBristolasgoodaplaceforhispurposeasanyotherhecouldgoto，hemountedthebox，andreachedhisplaceofdestinationinsuchtimeasthepairofhorses，whowentthewholestageandbackagaintwiceadayormore，couldbereasonablysupposedtoarrivethere。
HetookuphisquartersatTheBush，and，designingtopostponeanycommunicationbyletterwithMr。PickwickuntilitwasprobablethatMr。
Dowler’swrathmighthaveinsomedegreeevaporated，walkedforthtoviewthecity，whichstruckhimasbeingashademoredirtythananyplacehehadeverseen。Havinginspectedthedocksandshipping，andviewedthecathedral，heinquiredhiswaytoClifton，andbeingdirectedthither，tooktheroutewhichwaspointedouttohim。But，asthepavementsofBristolarenotthewidestorcleanestuponearth，soitsstreetsarenotaltogetherthestraightestorleastintricate。Mr。Winklebeinggreatlypuzzledbytheirmanifoldwindingsandtwistings，lookedabouthimforadecentshopinwhichhecouldapplyafresh，forcounselandinstruction。
Hiseyefelluponanewly-paintedtenementwhichhadbeenrecentlyconvertedintosomethingbetweenashopandaprivate-house，andwhicharedlamp，projectingoverthefan-lightofthestreet-door，wouldhavesufficientlyannouncedastheresidenceofamedicalpractitioner，evenifthewordSurgeryhadnotbeeninscribedingoldencharactersonawainscotground，abovethewindowofwhat，intimesbygone，hadbeenthefrontparlour。
Thinkingthisaneligibleplacewhereintomakehisinquiries，Mr。Winklesteppedintothelittleshopwherethegilt-labelleddrawersandbottleswere。andfindingnobodythere，knockedwithahalf-crownonthecounter，toattracttheattentionofanybodywhomighthappentobeinthebackparlour，whichhejudgedtobetheinnermostandpeculiarsanctumoftheestablishment，fromtherepetitionofthewordsurgeryonthedoor——paintedinwhitelettersthistime，bywayoftakingoffthemonotony。
Atthefirstknock，asound，asofpersonsfencingwithfire-irons，whichhaduntilnowbeenveryaudible，suddenlyceased。atthesecond，astudious-lookingyounggentlemaningreenspectacles，withaverylargebookinhishand，glidedquietlyintotheshop，andsteppingbehindthecounter，requestedtoknowthevisitor’spleasure。
Iamsorrytotroubleyou，sir，saidMr。Winkle，butwillyouhavethegoodnesstodirectmeto——
Ha！ha！ha！roaredthestudiousyounggentleman，throwingthelargebookupintotheair，andcatchingitwithgreatdexterityattheverymomentwhenitthreatenedtosmashtoatomsallthebottlesonthecounter。
Here’sastart！
Therewas，withoutdoubt。forMr。Winklewassoverymuchastonishedattheextraordinarybehaviourofthemedicalgentleman，thatheinvoluntarilyretreatedtowardsthedoor，andlookedverymuchdisturbedathisstrangereception。
What，don’tyouknowme？saidthemedicalgentleman。
Mr。Winklemurmured，inreply，thathehadnotthatpleasure。
Why，then，saidthemedicalgentleman，therearehopesformeyet。
ImayattendhalftheoldwomeninBristolifI’vedecentluck。Getout，youmouldyoldvillain，getout！Withthisadjuration，whichwasaddressedtothelargebook，themedicalgentlemankickedthevolumewithremarkableagilitytothefurtherendoftheshop，and，pullingoffhisgreenspectacles，grinnedtheidenticalgrinofRobertSawyer，Esquire，formerlyofGuy’sHospitalintheBorough，withaprivateresidenceinLantStreet。
Youdon’tmeantosayyouweren’tdownuponme！saidMr。BobSawyer，shakingMr。Winkle’shandwithfriendlywarmth。
UponmywordIwasnot，repliedMr。Winkle，returningthepressure。
Iwonderyoudidn’tseethename，saidBobSawyer，callinghisfriend’sattentiontotheouterdoor，onwhich，inthesamewhitepaint，weretracedthewordsSawyer，lateNockemorf。
Itnevercaughtmyeye，returnedMr。Winkle。
Lord，ifIhadknownwhoyouwere，Ishouldhaverushedout，andcaughtyouinmyarms，saidBobSawyer。butuponmylife，IthoughtyouweretheKing’s-taxes。
No！saidMr。Winkle。
Idid，indeed，respondedBobSawyer，andIwasjustgoingtosaythatIwasn’tathome，butifyou’dleaveamessageI’dbesuretogiveittomyself。forhedon’tknowme。nomoredoestheLightingandPaving。
IthinktheChurch-ratesguesseswhoIam，andIknowtheWaterworksdoes，becauseIdrewatoothofhiswhenIfirstcamedownhere。Butcomein，comein！Chatteringinthisway，Mr。BobSawyerpushedMr。Winkleintothebackroom，where，amusinghimselfbyboringlittlecircularcavernsinthechimney-piecewithared-hotpoker，satnolessapersonthanMr。
BenjaminAllen。
Well！saidMr。Winkle。ThisisindeedapleasureIdidnotexpect。
Whataveryniceplaceyouhavehere！
Prettywell，prettywell，repliedBobSawyer。Ipassed，soonafterthatpreciousparty，andmyfriendscamedownwiththeneedfulforthisbusiness。soIputonablacksuitofclothes，andapairofspectacles，andcameheretolookassolemnasIcould。
Andaverysnuglittlebusinessyouhave，nodoubt？saidMr。Winkle，knowingly。
Very，repliedBobSawyer。Sosnug，thatattheendofafewyearsyoumightputalltheprofitsinawineglass，andcover’emoverwithagooseberryleaf。
Youcannotsurelymeanthat？saidMr。Winkle。Thestockitself——
Dummies，mydearboy，saidBobSawyer。halfthedrawershavenothingin’em，andtheotherhalfdon’topen。
Nonsense！saidMr。Winkle。
Fact——honour！returnedBobSawyer，steppingoutintotheshop，anddemonstratingtheveracityoftheassertionbydivershardpullsatthelittlegiltknobsonthecounterfeitdrawers。Hardlyanythingrealintheshopbuttheleeches，andtheyaresecond-hand。
Ishouldn’thavethoughtit！exclaimedMr。Winkle，muchsurprised。
Ihopenot，repliedBobSawyer，elsewhere’stheuseofappearances，eh？Butwhatwillyoutake？Doaswedo？That’sright。Ben，myfinefellow，putyourhandintothecupboard，andbringoutthepatentdigester。
Mr。BenjaminAllensmiledhisreadiness，andproducedfromtheclosetathiselbowablackbottlehalffullofbrandy。
Youdon’ttakewater，ofcourse？saidBobSawyer。
Thankyou，repliedMr。Winkle。It’sratherearly。Ishouldliketoqualifyit，ifyouhavenoobjection。
Noneintheleast，ifyoucanreconcileittoyourconscience，repliedBobSawyer。tossingoff，ashespoke，aglassoftheliquorwithgreatrelish。Ben，thepipkin！
Mr。BenjaminAllendrewforth，fromthesamehiding-place，asmallbrasspipkin，whichBobSawyerobservedhepridedhimselfupon，particularlybecauseitlookedsobusiness-like。Thewaterintheprofessionalpipkinhavingbeenmadetoboil，incourseoftime，byvariouslittleshovelsfullofcoal，whichMr。BobSawyertookoutofapracticablewindow-seat，labelledSodaWater，Mr。Winkleadulteratedhisbrandy。andtheconversationwasbecominggeneral，whenitwasinterruptedbytheentranceintotheshopofaboy，inasobergreyliveryandagold-lacedhat，withasmallcoveredbasketunderhisarm：whomMr。BobSawyerimmediatelyhailedwith，Tom，youvagabond，comehere。
Theboypresentedhimselfaccordingly。
You’vebeenstoppingtooverallthepostsinBristol，youidleyoungscamp！saidMr。BobSawyer。
No，sir，Ihaven’t，repliedtheboy。
Youhadbetternot！saidMr。BobSawyer，withathreateningaspect。
Whodoyousupposewilleveremployaprofessionalman，whentheyseehisboyplayingatmarblesinthegutter，orflyingthegarterinthehorse-road？
Haveyounofeelingforyourprofession，yougroveller？Didyouleaveallthemedicine？
Yes，sir。
Thepowdersforthechild，atthelargehousewiththenewfamily，andthepillstobetakenfourtimesadayattheill-temperedoldgentleman’swiththegoutyleg？
Yes，sir。
Thenshutthedoor，andmindtheshop。
Come，saidMr。Winkle，astheboyretired，thingsarenotquitesobadasyouwouldhavemebelieve，either。Thereissomemedicinetobesentout。
Mr。BobSawyerpeepedintotheshoptoseethatnostrangerwaswithinhearing，andleaningforwardtoMr。Winkle，said，inalowtone：
Heleavesitallatthewronghouses。
Mr。Winklelookedperplexed，andBobSawyerandhisfriendlaughed。
Don’tyousee？saidBob。Hegoesuptoahouse，ringstheareabell，pokesapacketofmedicinewithoutadirectionintotheservant’shand，andwalksoff。Servanttakesitintothedining-parlour。masteropensit，andreadsthelabel：`Draughttobetakenatbed-time——pillsasbefore——lotionasusual——thepowder。FromSawyer’s，lateNockemorf’s。Physicians’
prescriptionscarefullyprepared，’andalltherestofit。Showsittohiswife——shereadsthelabel。itgoesdowntotheservants——theyreadthelabel。Nextday，boycalls：`Verysorry——hismistake——immensebusiness——greatmanyparcelstodeliver——Mr。Sawyer’scompliments——lateNockemorf。’Thenamegetsknown，andthat’sthething，myboy，inthemedicalway。Blessyourheart，oldfellow，it’sbetterthanalltheadvertisingintheworld。Wehavegotonefour-ouncebottlethat’sbeentohalfthehousesinBristol，andhasn’tdoneyet。
Dearme，Isee，observedMr。Winkle。whatanexcellentplan！
On，BenandIhavehituponadozensuch，repliedBobSawyer，withgreatglee。Thelamplighterhaseighteen-penceaweektopullthenight-bellfortenminuteseverytimehecomesround。andmyboyalwaysrushesintochurch，justbeforethepsalms，whenthepeoplehavegotnothingtodobutlookabout’em，andcallsmeout，withhorroranddismaydepictedonhiscountenance。`Blessmysoul，’everybodysays，`somebodytakensuddenlyill！Sawyer，lateNockemorf，sentfor。Whatabusinessthatyoungmanhas！
Attheterminationofthisdisclosureofsomeofthemysteriesofmedicine，Mr。BobSawyerandhisfriend，BenAllen，threwthemselvesbackintheirrespectivechairs，andlaughedboisterously。Whentheyhadenjoyedthejoketotheirhearts’content，thediscoursechangedtotopicsinwhichMr。Winklewasmoreimmediatelyinterested。
Wethinkwehavehintedelsewhere，thatMr。BenjaminAllenhadawayofbecomingsentimentalafterbrandy。Thecaseisnotapeculiarone，asweourselfcantestify：having，onafewoccasions，hadtodealwithpatientswhohavebeenafflictedinasimilarmanner。Atthispreciseperiodofhisexistence，Mr。BenjaminAllenhadperhapsagreaterpredispositiontomaudlinismthanhehadeverknownbefore。thecauseofwhichmaladywasbrieflythis。HehadbeenstayingnearlythreeweekswithMr。BobSawyer。
Mr。BobSawyerwasnotremarkablefortemperance，norwasMr。BenjaminAllenfortheownershipofaverystronghead。theconsequencewas，that，duringthewholespaceoftimejustmentioned，Mr。BenjaminAllenhadbeenwaveringbetweenintoxicationpartial，andintoxicationcomplete。
Mydearfriend，saidMr。BenAllen，takingadvantageofMr。BobSawyer’stemporaryabsencebehindthecounter，whitherhehadretiredtodispensesomeofthesecond-handleeches，previouslyreferredto：mydearfriend，Iamverymiserable。
Mr。Winkleprofessedhisheartfeltregrettohearit，andbeggedtoknowwhetherhecouldnoanythingtoalleviatethesorrowsofthesufferingstudent。
Nothing，mydearboy，nothing，saidBen。YourecollectArabella，Winkle？MysisterArabella——alittlegirl，Winkle，withblackeyes——whenweweredownatWardle’s？Idon’tknowwhetheryouhappenedtonoticeher，anicelittlegirl，Winkle。Perhapsmyfeaturesmayrecallhercountenancetoyourrecollection？
Mr。WinklerequirednothingtorecallthecharmingArabellatohismind。
anditwasratherfortunatehedidnot，forthefeaturesofherbrotherBenjaminwouldunquestionablyhaveprovedbutanindifferentrefreshertohismemory。Heanswered，withasmuchcalmnessashecouldassume，thatheperfectlyrememberedtheyoungladyreferredto，andsincerelytrustedshewasingoodhealth。
OurfriendBobisadelightfulfellow，Winkle，wastheonlyreplyofMr。BenAllen。
Very，saidMr。Winkle。notmuchrelishingthiscloseconnexionofthetwonames。
Idesigned’emforeachother。theyweremadeforeachother，sentintotheworldforeachother，bornforeachother，Winkle，saidMr。BenAllen，settingdownhisglasswithemphasis。There’saspecialdestinyinthematter，mydearsir。there’sonlyfiveyears’differencebetween’em，andboththeirbirthdaysareinAugust。
Mr。Winklewastooanxioustohearwhatwastofollow，toexpressmuchwondermentatthisextraordinarycoincidence，marvellousasitwas。soMr。BenAllen，afteratearortwo，wentontosay，that，notwithstandingallhisesteemandrespectandvenerationforhisfriend，Arabellahadunaccountablyandundutifullyevincedthemostdeterminedantipathytohisperson。
AndIthink，saidMr。BenAllen，inconclusion。Ithinkthere’sapriorattachment。
Haveyouanyideawhotheobjectofitmightbe？askedMr。Winkle，withgreattrepidation。
Mr。BenAllenseizedthepoker，flourisheditinawarlikemannerabovehishead，inflictedasavageblowonanimaginaryskull，andwoundupbysaying，inaveryexpressivemanner，thatheonlywishedhecouldguess。
thatwasall。
I’dshowhimwhatIthoughtofhim，saidMr。BenAllen。Androundwentthepokeragain，morefiercelythanbefore。
Allthiswas，ofcourse，verysoothingtothefeelingsofMr。Winkle，whoremainedsilentforafewminutes。butatlengthmusteredupresolutiontoinquirewhetherMissAllenwasinKent。
No，no，saidMr。BenAllen，layingasidethepoker，andlookingverycunning。Ididn’tthinkWardle’sexactlytheplaceforaheadstronggirl。
so，asIamhernaturalprotectorandguardian，ourparentsbeingdead，Ihavebroughtherdownintothispartofthecountrytospendafewmonthsatanoldaunt’s，inanicedullcloseplace。Ithinkthatwillcureher，myboy。Ifitdoesn’t，I’lltakeherabroadforalittlewhile，andseewhatthat’lldo。
Oh，theaunt’sisinBristol，isit？falteredMr。Winkle。
No，no，notinBristol，repliedMr。BenAllen，jerkinghisthumboverhisrightshoulder：overthatway。downthere。But，hush，here’sBob。
Notaword，mydearfriend，notaword。
Shortasthisconversationwas，itrousedinMr。Winklethehighestdegreeofexcitementandanxiety。Thesuspectedpriorattachmentrankledinhisheart。Couldhebetheobjectofit？CoulditbeforhimthatthefairArabellahadlookedscornfullyonthesprightlyBobSawyer，orhadheasuccessfulrival？Hedeterminedtoseeher，costwhatitmight。buthereaninsurmountableobjectionpresenteditself，forwhethertheexplanatoryoverthatway，anddownthere，ofMr。BenAllen，meantthreemilesoff，orthirty，orthreehundred，hecouldinnowiseguess。
Buthehadnoopportunityofponderingoverhislovejustthen，forBobSawyer’sreturnwastheimmediateprecursorofthearrivalofameatpiefromthebaker’s，ofwhichthatgentlemaninsistedonhisstayingtopartake。Theclothwaslaidbyanoccasionalcharwoman，whoofficiatedinthecapacityofMr。BobSawyer’shousekeeper。andathirdknifeandforkhavingbeenborrowedfromthemotheroftheboyinthegreyliveryforMr。Sawyer’sdomesticarrangementswereasyetconductedonalimitedscale，theysatdowntodinner。thebeerbeingservedup，asMr。Sawyerremarked，init’snativepewter。
Afterdinner，Mr。BobSawyerorderedinthelargestmortarintheshop，andproceededtobrewareekingjorumofrum-punchtherein。stirringupandamalgamatingthematerialswithapestleinaverycreditableandapothecary-likemanner。Mr。Sawyer，beingabachelor，hadonlyonetumblerinthehouse，whichwasassignedtoMr。Winkleasacomplimenttothevisitor：Mr。BenAllenbeingaccommodatedwithafunnelwithacorkinthenarrowend：andBobSawyercontentedhimselfwithoneofthosewide-lippedcrystalvesselsinscribedwithavarietyofcabalisticcharacters，inwhichchemistsarewonttomeasureouttheirliquiddrugsincompoundingprescriptions。Thesepreliminariesadjusted，thepunchwastasted，andpronouncedexcellent。
andithavingbeenarrangedthatBobSawyerandBenAllenshouldbeconsideredatlibertytofilltwicetoMr。Winkle’sonce，theystartedfair，withgreatsatisfactionandgood-fellowship。
Therewasnosinging，becauseMr。BobSawyersaiditwouldn’tlookprofessional。
buttomakeamendsforthisdeprivationtherewassomuchtalkingandlaughingthatitmighthavebeenheard，andverylikelywas，attheendofthestreet。
WhichconversationmateriallylightenedthehoursandimprovedthemindofMr。BobSawyer’sboy，who，insteadofdevotingtheeveningtohisordinaryoccupationofwritinghisnameonthecounter，andrubbingitoutagain，peepedthroughtheglassdoor，andthuslistenedandlookedonatthesametime。
ThemirthofMr。BobSawyerwasrapidlyripeningintothefurious。Mr。
BenAllenwasfastrelapsingintothesentimental，andthepunchhadwell-nighdisappearedaltogether，whentheboyhastilyrunningin，announcedthatayoungwomanhadjustcomeover，tosaythatSawyerlateNockemorfwaswanteddirectly，acoupleofstreetsoff。Thisbrokeuptheparty。Mr。
BobSawyer，understandingthemessage，aftersometwentyrepetitions，tiedawetclothroundhisheadtosoberhimself，and，havingpartiallysucceeded，putonhisgreenspectaclesandissuedforth。Resistingallentreatiestostaytillhecameback，andfindingitquiteimpossibletoengageMr。
BenAlleninanyintelligibleconversationonthesubjectnearesthisheart，orindeedonanyother，Mr。Winkletookhisdeparture，andreturnedtotheBush。
Theanxietyofhismind，andthenumerousmeditationswhichArabellahadawakened，preventedhisshareofthemortarofpunchproducingthateffectuponhimwhichitwouldhavehad，underothercircumstances。So，aftertakingaglassofsoda-waterandbrandyatthebar，heturnedintothecoffee-room，dispiritedratherthanelevatedbytheoccurrencesoftheevening。
Sittinginthefrontofthefire，withhisbacktowardshim，wasatallishgentlemaninagreat-coat：theonlyotheroccupantoftheroom。Itwasratheracooleveningfortheseasonoftheyear，andthegentlemandrewhischairasidetoaffordthenew-comerasightofthefire。WhatwereMr。Winkle’sfeelingswhen，indoingso，hedisclosedtoviewthefaceandfigureofthevindictiveandsanguinaryDowler！
Mr。Winkle’sfirstimpulsewastogiveaviolentpullatthenearestbell-handle，butthatunfortunatelyhappenedtobeimmediatelybehindMr。
Dowler’shead。Hehadmadeonesteptowardsit，beforehecheckedhimself。
Ashedidso，Mr。Dowlerveryhastilydrewback。
Mr。Winkle，sir。Becalm。Don’tstrikeme。Iwon’tbearit。Ablow！
Never！saidMr。Dowler，lookingmeekerthanMr。Winklehadexpectedinagentlemanofhisferocity。
Ablow，sir？stammeredMr。Winkle。
Ablow，sir，repliedDowler。Composeyourfeelings。Sitdown。Hearme。
Sir，saidMr。Winkle，tremblingfromheadtofoot，beforeIconsenttositdownbeside，oroppositeyou，withoutthepresenceofawaiter，Imustbesecuredbysomefurtherunderstanding。Youusedathreatagainstmelastnight，sir，adreadfulthreat，sir。HereMr。Winkleturnedverypaleindeed，andstoppedshort。
Idid，saidDowler，withacountenancealmostaswhiteasMr。Winkle’s。
Circumstancesweresuspicious。Theyhavebeenexplained。Irespectyourbravery。Yourfeelingisupright。Consciousinnocence。There’smyhand。
Graspit。