第5章
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  Thesceneofthatafternoonwasrepeatedthatevening,andonthethreeafternoonsandeveningsnextensuing。Onthefourth,thehostwasinhighspirits,forhehadsatisfiedhimselfthattherewasnogroundforthechargeagainstMr。Tupman。SowasMr。Tupman,forMr。Jinglehadtoldhimthathisaffairwouldsoonbebroughttoacrisis。SowasMr。Pickwick,forhewasseldomotherwise。SowasnotMr。Snodgrass,forhehadgrownjealousofMr。Tupman。Sowastheoldlady,forshehadbeenwinningatwhist。SowereMr。JingleandMissWardle,forreasonsofsufficientimportanceinthiseventfulhistorytobenarratedinanotherchapter。

  [NextChapter][TableofContents]ThePickwickPapers:Chapter9[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]CHAPTERIXADISCOVERYANDACHASE

  THEsupperwasreadylaid,thechairsweredrawnroundthetable,bottles,jugs,andglasseswerearrangedupontheside-board,andeverythingbetokenedtheapproachofthemostconvivialperiodinthewholefour-and-twentyhours。

  Where’sRachael?saidMr。Wardle。

  Ay,andJingle?addedMr。Pickwick。

  Dearme,saidthehost,IwonderIhaven’tmissedhimbefore。Why,Idon’tthinkI’veheardhisvoicefortwohoursatleast。Emily,mydear,ringthebell。

  Thebellwasrung,andthefatboyappeared。

  Where’sMissRachael?Hecouldn’tsay。

  Where’sMr。Jingle,then?Hedidn’tknow。

  Everybodylookedsurprised。Itwaslate——pasteleveno’clock。Mr。Tupmanlaughedinhissleeve。Theywereloiteringsomewhere,talkingabouthim。

  Ha,ha!capitalnotionthat——funny。

  Nevermind,saidWardle,afterashortpause,they’llturnuppresently,Idaresay。Ineverwaitsupperforanybody。

  Excellentrule,that,saidMr。Pickwick,admirable。

  Pray,sitdown,saidthehost。

  Certainly,saidMr。Pickwick:anddowntheysat。

  Therewasagiganticroundofcoldbeefonthetable,andMr。Pickwickwassuppliedwithaplentifulportionofit。Hehadraisedhisforktohislips,andwasontheverypointofopeninghismouthforthereceptionofapieceofbeef,whenthehumofmanyvoicessuddenlyaroseinthekitchen。

  Hepaused,andlaiddownhisfork。Mr。Wardlepausedtoo,andinsensiblyreleasedhisholdofthecarving-knife,whichremainedinsertedinthebeef。HelookedatMr。Pickwick,Mr。Pickwicklookedathim。

  Heavyfootstepswereheardinthepassage。theparlourdoorwassuddenlyburstopen。andthemanwhohadcleanedMr。Pickwick’sbootsonhisfirstarrival,rushedintotheroom,followedbythefatboy,andallthedomestics。

  Whatthedevil’sthemeaningofthis?exclaimedthehost。

  Thekitchenchimneyain’ta-fire,isit,Emma?inquiredtheoldlady。

  Lor’,grandma!No,screamedboththeyoungladies。

  What’sthematter?roaredthemasterofthehouse。

  Themangaspedforbreath,andfaintlyejaculated——

  Theyha’gone,Mas’r!——gonerightcleanoff,sir!AtthisjunctureMr。Tupmanwasobservedtolaydownhisknifeandfork,andtoturnverypale。

  Who’sgone?saidMr。Wardle,fiercely。

  Mus’rJingleandMissRachael,inapo’-chay,fromBlueLion,Muggleton。

  Iwasthere。butIcouldn’tstop’em。soIrunofftotell’ee。

  Ipaidhisexpenses!saidMr。Tupman,jumpingupfrantically。He’sgottenpoundsofmine!——stophim!——he’sswindledme!——Iwon’tbearit!——I’llhavejustice,Pickwick!——Iwon’tstandit!andwithsundryincoherentexclamationsofthelikenature,theunhappygentlemanspunroundandroundtheapartment,inatransportoffrenzy。

  Lordpreserveus!ejaculatedMr。Pickwick,eyeingtheextraordinarygesturesofhisfriendwithterrifiedsurprise。He’sgonemad!Whatshallwedo!

  Do!saidthestoutoldhost,whoregardedonlythelastwordsofthesentence。Putthehorseinthegig!I’llgetachaiseattheLion,andfollow’eminstantly。Where——heexclaimed,asthemanranouttoexecutethecommission——Where’sthatvillain,Joe?

  HereIam。butIhan’tawillin,repliedavoice。Itwasthefatboy’s。

  Letmegetathim,Pickwick,criedWardle,asherushedattheill-starredyouth。Hewasbribedbythatscoundrel,Jingle,toputmeonawrongscent,bytellingacock-and-a-bullstoryofmysisterandyourfriendTupman!

  HereMr。Tupmansunkintoachair。Letmegetathim!

  Don’tlethim!screamedallthewomen,abovewhoseexclamationstheblubberingofthefatboywasdistinctlyaudible。

  Iwon’tbeheld!criedtheoldman。Mr。Winkle,takeyourhandsoff。

  Mr。Pickwick,letmego,sir!

  Itwasabeautifulsight,inthatmomentofturmoilandconfusion,tobeholdtheplacidandphilosophicalexpressionofMr。Pickwick’sface,albeitsomewhatflushedwithexertion,ashestoodwithhisarmsfirmlyclaspedroundtheextensivewaistoftheircorpulenthost,thusrestrainingtheimpetuosityofhispassion,whilethefatboywasscratched,andpulled,andpushedfromtheroombyallthefemalescongregatedtherein。Hehadnosoonerreleasedhishold,thanthemanenteredtoannouncethatthegigwasready。

  Don’tlethimgoalone!screamedthefemales。He’llkillsomebody!

  I’llgowithhim,saidMr。Pickwick。

  You’reagoodfellow,Pickwick,saidthehost,graspinghishand。

  Emma,giveMr。Pickwickashawltotieroundhisneck——makehaste。Lookafteryourgrandmother,girls。shehasfaintedaway。Nowthen,areyouready?

  Mr。Pickwick’smouthandchinhavingbeenhastilyenvelopedinalargeshawl:hishathavingbeenputonhishead,andhisgreatcoatthrownoverhisarm,herepliedintheaffirmative。

  Theyjumpedintothegig。Giveherherhead,Tom,criedthehost。

  andawaytheywent,downthenarrowlanes:joltinginandoutofthecart-ruts,andbumpingupagainstthehedgesoneitherside,asiftheywouldgotopieceseverymoment。

  Howmucharetheya-head?shoutedWardle,astheydroveuptothedooroftheBlueLion,roundwhichalittlecrowdhadcollected,lateasitwas。

  Notabovethree-quartersofanhour,waseverybody’sreply。

  Chaiseandfourdirectly!——outwith’em!Putupthegigafterwards。

  Now,boys!criedthelandlord——chaiseandfourout——makehaste——lookalivethere!

  Awayranthehostlers,andtheboys。Thelanternsglimmered,asthemenrantoandfro。thehorses’hoofsclatteredontheunevenpavingoftheyard。thechaiserumbledasitwasdrawnoutofthecoach-house。andallwasnoiseandbustle。

  Nowthen!——isthatchaisecomingoutto-night?criedWardle。

  Comingdowntheyardnow,sir,repliedthehostler。

  Outcamethechaise——inwentthehorses——onsprungtheboys——ingotthetravellers。

  Mind——theseven-milestageinlessthanhalfanhour!shoutedWardle。

  Offwithyou!

  Theboysappliedwhipandspur,thewaitersshouted,thehostlerscheered,andawaytheywent,fastandfuriously。

  Prettysituation,thoughtMr。Pickwick,whenhehadhadamoment’stimeforreflection。PrettysituationfortheGeneralChairmanofthePickwickClub。Dampchaise——strangehorses——fifteenmilesanhour——andtwelveo’clockatnight!

  Forthefirstthreeorfourmiles,notawordwasspokenbyeitherofthegentlemen,eachbeingtoomuchimmersedinhisownreflectionstoaddressanyobservationstohiscompanion。Whentheyhadgoneoverthatmuchground,however,andthehorsesgettingthoroughlywarmedbegantodotheirworkinreallygoodstyle,Mr。Pickwickbecametoomuchexhilaratedwiththerapidityofthemotion,toremainanylongerperfectlymute。

  We’resuretocatchthem,Ithink,saidhe。

  Hopeso,repliedhiscompanion。

  Finenight,saidMr。Pickwick,lookingupatthemoon,whichwasshiningbrightly。

  Somuchtheworse,returnedWardle。forthey’llhavehadalltheadvantageofthemoonlighttogetthestartofus,andweshallloseit。

  Itwillhavegonedowninanotherhour。

  Itwillberatherunpleasantgoingatthisrateinthedark,won’tit?inquiredMr。Pickwick。

  Idaresayitwill,repliedhisfrienddrily。

  Mr。Pickwick’stemporaryexcitementbegantosoberdownalittle,ashereflectedupontheinconveniencesanddangersoftheexpeditioninwhichhehadsothoughtlesslyembarked。Hewasrousedbyaloudshoutingofthepost-boyontheleader。

  Yo——yo——yo——yo——yoe,wentthefirstboy。

  Yo——yo——yo——yoe!wentthesecond。

  Yo——yo——yo——yoe!chimedinoldWardlehimself,mostlustily,withhisheadandhalfhisbodyoutofthecoachwindow。

  Yo——yo——yo——yoe!shoutedMr。Pickwick,takinguptheburdenofthecry,thoughhehadnottheslightestnotionofitsmeaningorobject。Andamidsttheyo——yoingofthewholefour,thechaisestopped。

  What’sthematter?inquiredMr。Pickwick。

  There’sagatehere,repliedoldWardle。Weshallhearsomethingofthefugitives。

  Afteralapseoffiveminutes,consumedinincessantknockingandshouting,anoldmaninhisshirtandtrousersemergedfromtheturnpike-house,andopenedthegate。

  Howlongisitsinceapost-chaisewentthroughhere?inquiredMr。

  Wardle。

  Howlong?

  Ah!

  Why,Idon’trightlyknow。Itworn’talongtimeago,noritworn’tashorttimeago——justbetweenthetwo,perhaps。

  Hasanychaisebeenbyatall?

  Ohyes,there’sbeenashayby。

  Howlongago,myfriend,interposedMr。Pickwick,anhour?

  Ah,Idaresayitmightbe,repliedtheman。

  Ortwohours?inquiredthepost-boyonthewheeler。

  Well,Ishouldn’twonderifitwas,returnedtheoldmandoubtfully。

  Driveon,boys,criedthetestyoldgentleman。don’twasteanymoretimewiththatoldidiot!

  Idiot!exclaimedtheoldmanwithagrin,ashestoodinthemiddleoftheroadwiththegatehalf-closed,watchingthechaisewhichrapidlydiminishedintheincreasingdistance。No——notmucho’thateither。you’velosttenminuteshere,andgoneawayaswiseasyoucame,arterall。Ifeverymanonthelineashasaguineagivehim,earnsithalfaswell,youwon’tcatcht’othershaythissideMich’lmas,oldshort-and-fat。Andwithanotherprolongedgrin,theoldmanclosedthegate,re-enteredhishouse,andboltedthedoorafterhim。

  Meanwhilethechaiseproceeded,withoutanyslackeningofpace,towardstheconclusionofthestage。Themoon,asWardlehadforetold,wasrapidlyonthewane。largetiersofdarkheavyclouds,whichhadbeengraduallyoverspreadingtheskyforsometimepast,nowformedoneblackmassoverhead。

  andlargedropsofrainwhichpatteredeverynowandthenagainstthewindowsofthechaise,seemedtowarnthetravellersoftherapidapproachofastormynight。Thewind,too,whichwasdirectlyagainstthem,sweptinfuriousgustsdownthenarrowroad,andhowleddismallythroughthetreeswhichskirtedthepathway。Mr。Pickwickdrewhiscoatcloserabouthim,coiledhimselfmoresnuglyupintothecornerofthechaise,andfellintoasoundsleep,fromwhichhewasonlyawakenedbythestoppingofthevehicle,thesoundofthehostler’sbell,andaloudcryofHorsesondirectly!

  Buthereanotherdelayoccurred。Theboysweresleepingwithsuchmysterioussoundness,thatittookfiveminutesa-piecetowakethem。Thehostlerhadsomehoworothermislaidthekeyofthestable,andevenwhenthatwasfound,twosleepyhelpersputthewrongharnessonthewronghorses,andthewholeprocessofharnessinghadtobegonethroughafresh。HadMr。Pickwickbeenalone,thesemultipliedobstacleswouldhavecompletelyputanendtothepursuitatonce,butoldWardlewasnottobesoeasilydaunted。andhelaidabouthimwithsuchheartygood-will,cuffingthisman,andpushingthat。strappingabucklehere,andtakinginalinkthere,thatthechaisewasreadyinamuchshortertimethancouldreasonablyhavebeenexpected,undersomanydifficulties。

  Theyresumedtheirjourney。andcertainlytheprospectbeforethemwasbynomeansencouraging。Thestagewasfifteenmileslong,thenightwasdark,thewindhigh,andtherainpouringintorrents。Itwasimpossibletomakeanygreatwayagainstsuchobstaclesunited:itwashardupononeo’clockalready。andnearlytwohourswereconsumedingettingtotheendofthestage。Here,however,anobjectpresenteditself,whichrekindledtheirhopes,andre-animatedtheirdroppingspirits。

  Whendidthischaisecomein?criedoldWardle,leapingoutofhisownvehicle,andpointingtoonecoveredwithwetmud,whichwasstandingintheyard。

  Notaquarterofanhourago,sir。repliedthehostler,towhomthequestionwasaddressed。

  Ladyandgentleman?inquiredWardle,almostbreathlesswithimpatience。

  Yes,sir。

  Tallgentleman——dresscoat——longlegs——thinbody?

  Yes,sir。

  Elderlylady——thinface——ratherskinny——eh?

  Yes,sir。

  Byheavens,it’sthecouple,Pickwick,exclaimedtheoldgentleman。

  Wouldhavebeenherebefore,saidthehostler,buttheybrokeatrace。

  Itis!saidWardle,itisbyJove!Chaiseandfourinstantly!Weshallcatchthemyet,beforetheyreachthenextstage。Aguineaa-piece,boys——bealivethere——bustleabout——there’sgoodfellows。

  Andwithsuchadmonitionsasthese,theoldgentlemanranupanddowntheyard,andbustledtoandfro,inastateofexcitementwhichcommunicateditselftoMr。Pickwickalso。andundertheinfluenceofwhich,thatgentlemangothimselfintocomplicatedentanglementswithharness,andmixedupwithhorsesandwheelsofchaises,inthemostsurprisingmanner,firmlybelievingthatbysodoinghewasmateriallyforwardingthepreparationsfortheirresumingtheirjourney。

  Jumpin——jumpin!criedoldWardle,climbingintothechaise,pullingupthesteps,andslammingthedoorafterhim。Comealong!Makehaste!

  AndbeforeMr。Pickwickknewpreciselywhathewasabout,hefelthimselfforcedinattheotherdoor,byonepullfromtheoldgentleman,andonepushfromthehostler。andofftheywereagain。

  Ah!wearemovingnow,saidtheoldgentlemanexultingly。Theywereindeed,aswassufficientlytestifiedtoMr。Pickwick,byhisconstantcollisionseitherwiththehardwood-workofthechaise,orthebodyofhiscompanion。

  Holdup!saidthestoutoldMr。Wardle,asMr。Pickwickdivedheadforemostintohiscapaciouswaistcoat。

  Ineverdidfeelsuchajoltinginmylife,saidMr。Pickwick。

  Nevermind,repliedhiscompanion,itwillsoonbeover。Steady,steady。

  Mr。Pickwickplantedhimselfintohisowncorner,asfirmlyashecould。

  andonwhirledthechaisefasterthanever。

  Theyhadtravelledinthiswayaboutthreemiles,whenMr。Wardle,whohadbeenlookingoutofthewindow,fortwoorthreeminutes,suddenlydrewinhisface,coveredwithsplashes,andexclaimedinbreathlesseagerness——

  Heretheyare!

  Mr。Pickwickthrusthisheadoutofhiswindow。Yes:therewasachaiseandfour,ashortdistancebeforethem,dashingalongatfullgallop。

  Goon,goon,almostshriekedtheoldgentleman。Twoguineasa-piece,boys——don’tlet’emgainonus——keepitup——keepitup。

  Thehorsesinthefirstchaisestartedonattheirutmostspeed。andthoseinMr。Wardle’sgallopedfuriouslybehindthem。

  Iseehishead,exclaimedthecholericoldman。Damme,Iseehishead。

  SodoI,saidMr。Pickwick,that’she。

  Mr。Pickwickwasnotmistaken。ThecountenanceofMr。Jingle,completelycoatedwiththemudthrownupbythewheels,wasplainlydiscernibleatthewindowofhischaise。andthemotionofhisarm,whichhewaswavingviolentlytowardsthepostillions,denotedthathewasencouragingthemtoincreasedexertion。

  Theinterestwasintense。Fields,trees,andhedges,seemedtorushpastthemwiththevelocityofawhirlwind,sorapidwasthepaceatwhichtheytorealong。Theywereclosebythesideofthefirstchaise。Jingle’svoicecouldbeplainlyheard,evenabovethedinofthewheels,urgingontheboys。OldMr。Wardlefoamedwithrageandexcitement。Heroaredoutscoundrelsandvillainsbythedozen,clenchedhisfirstandshookitexpressivelyattheobjectofhisindignation。butMr。Jingleonlyansweredwithacontemptuoussmile,andrepliedtohismenacesbyashoutoftriumph,ashishorses,answeringtheincreasedapplicationofwhipandspur,brokeintoafastergallop,andleftthepursuersbehind。

  Mr。Pickwickhadjustdrawninhishead,andMr。Wardle,exhaustedwithshouting,haddonethesame,whenatremendousjoltthrewthemforwardagainstthefrontofthevehicle。Therewasasuddenbump——aloudcrash——awayrolledawheel,andoverwentthechaise。

  Afteraveryfewsecondsofbewildermentandconfusion,inwhichnothingbuttheplungingofhorsesandbreakingofglasscouldbemadeout,Mr。

  Pickwickfelthimselfviolentlypulledoutfromamongtheruinsofthechaise。andassoonashehadgainedhisfeet,andextricatedhisheadfromtheskirtsofhisgreatcoat,whichmateriallyimpededtheusefulnessofhisspectacles,thefulldisasterofthecasemethisview。

  OldMr。Wardlewithoutahat,andhisclothestorninseveralplaces,stoodbyhisside,andthefragmentsofthechaiselayscatteredattheirfeet。Thepost-boys,whohadsucceededincuttingthetraces,werestanding,disfiguredwithmudanddisorderedbyhardriding,bythehorses’heads。

  Aboutahundredyardsinadvancewastheotherchaise,whichhadpulleduponhearingthecrash。Thepostillions,eachwithabroadgrinconvulsinghiscountenance,wereviewingtheadversepartyfromtheirsaddles,andMr。Jinglewascontemplatingthewreckfromthecoach-window,withevidentsatisfaction。Thedaywasjustbreaking,andthewholescenewasrenderedperfectlyvisiblebythegreylightofthemorning。

  Hallow!shoutedtheshamelessJingle,anybodydamaged?——elderlygentlemen——nolightweights——dangerouswork——very。

  You’rearascal!roaredWardle。

  Ha!ha!repliedJingle。andthenheadded,withaknowingwink,andajerkofthethumbtowardstheinteriorofthechaise——Isay——she’sverywell——desireshercompliments——begsyouwon’ttroubleyourself——lovetoTuppy——won’tyougetupbehind?——driveon,boys。

  Thepostillionsresumedtheirproperattitudes,andawayrattledthechaise,Mr。Jingleflutteringinderisionawhitehandkerchieffromthecoach-window。

  Nothinginthewholeadventure,noteventheupset,haddisturbedthecalmandequablecurrentofMr。Pickwick’stemper。Thevillainy,however,whichcouldfirstborrowmoneyofhisfaithfulfollower,andthenabbreviatehisnametoTuppywasmorethanhecouldpatientlybear。Hedrewhisbreathhard,andcoloureduptotheverytipsofhisspectacles,ashesaid,slowlyandemphatically——

  IfeverImeetthatmanagain,I’ll——

  Yes,yes,interruptedWardle,that’sallverywell:butwhilewestandtalkinghere,they’llgettheirlicence,andbemarriedinLondon。

  Mr。Pickwickpaused,bottleduphisvengeance,andcorkeditdown。

  Howfarisittothenextstage?inquiredMr。Wardle,ofoneoftheboys。

  Sixmile,ain’tit,Tom?

  Raytherbetter。

  Raytherbetternorsixmile,sir。

  Can’tbehelped,saidWardle,wemustwalkit,Pickwick。

  Nohelpforit,repliedthattrulygreatman。

  Sosendingforwardoneoftheboysonhorseback,toprocureafreshchaiseandhorses,andleavingtheotherbehindtotakecareofthebrokenone,Mr。PickwickandMr。Wardlesetmanfullyforwardonthewalk,firsttyingtheirshawlsroundtheirnecks,andslouchingdowntheirhatstoescapeasmuchaspossiblefromthedelugeofrain,whichafteraslightcessationhadagainbeguntopourheavilydown。

  [NextChapter][TableofContents]ThePickwickPapers:Chapter10[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]CHAPTERXCLEARINGUPALLDOUBTSIFANYEXISTEDOFTHEDISINTERESTEDNESS

  OFMR。JINGLE’SCHARACTER

  THEREareinLondonseveraloldinns,oncethehead-quartersofcelebratedcoachesinthedayswhencoachesperformedtheirjourneysinagraverandmoresolemnmannerthantheydointhesetimes。butwhichhavenowdegeneratedintolittlemorethantheabidingandbookingplacesofcountrywaggons。Thereaderwouldlookinvainforanyoftheseancienthostelries,amongtheGoldenCrossesandBullandMouths,whichreartheirstatelyfrontsintheimprovedstreetsofLondon。

  Ifhewouldlightuponanyoftheseoldplaces,hemustdirecthisstepstotheobscurerquartersofthetown。andthereinsomesecludednookshewillfindseveral,stillstandingwithakindofgloomysturdiness,amidstthemoderninnovationswhichsurroundthem。

  IntheBoroughespecially,therestillremainsomehalfdozenoldinns,whichhavepreservedtheirexternalfeaturesunchanged,andwhichhaveescapedaliketherageforpublicimprovement,andtheencroachmentsofprivatespeculation。Great,rambling,queer,oldplacestheyare,withgalleries,andpassages,andstaircases,wideenoughandantiquatedenoughtofurnishmaterialsforahundredghoststories,supposingweshouldeverbereducedtothelamentablenecessityofinventingany,andthattheworldshouldexistlongenoughtoexhausttheinnumerableveraciouslegendsconnectedwitholdLondonBridge,anditsadjacentneighbourhoodontheSurreyside。

  Itwasintheyardofoneoftheseinns——ofnolesscelebratedaonethantheWhiteHart——thatamanwasbusilyemployedinbrushingthedirtoffapairofboots,earlyonthemorningsucceedingtheeventsnarratedinthelastchapter。Hewashabitedinacoarse-stripedwaistcoat,withblackcalicosleeves,andblueglassbuttons。drabbreechesandleggings。

  Abrightredhandkerchiefwaswoundinaverylooseandunstudiedstyleroundhisneck,andanoldwhitehatwascarelesslythrownononesideofhishead。Thereweretworowsofbootsbeforehim,onecleanedandtheotherdirty,andateveryadditionhemadetothecleanrow,hepausedfromhiswork,andcontemplateditsresultswithevidentsatisfaction。

  Theyardpresentednoneofthatbustleandactivitywhicharetheusualcharacteristicsofalargecoachinn。Threeorfourlumberingwaggons,eachwithapileofgoodsbeneathitsamplecanopy,abouttheheightofthesecond-floorwindowofanordinaryhouse,werestowedawaybeneathaloftyroofwhichextendedoveroneendoftheyard:andanother,whichwasprobablytocommenceitsjourneythatmorning,wasdrawnoutintotheopenspace。Adoubletierofbedroomgalleries,witholdclumsybalustrades,ranroundtwosidesofthestragglingarea,andadoublerowofbellstocorrespond,shelteredfromtheweatherbyalittleslopingroof,hungoverthedoorleadingtothebarandcoffee-room。Twoorthreegigsandchaise-cartswerewheeledupunderdifferentlittleshedsandpent-houses。andtheoccasionalheavytreadofacart-horse,orrattlingofachainatthefurtherendoftheyard,announcedtoanybodywhocaredaboutthematter,thatthestablelayinthatdirection。Whenweaddthatafewboysinsmockfrockswerelyingasleeponheavypackages,woolpacks,andotherarticlesthatwerescatteredaboutonheapsofstraw,wehavedescribedasfullyasneedbethegeneralappearanceoftheyardoftheWhiteHartInn,HighStreet,Borough,ontheparticularmorninginquestion。

  Aloudringingofoneofthebells,wasfollowedbytheappearanceofasmartchambermaidintheuppersleepinggallery,who,aftertappingatoneofthedoors,andreceivingarequestfromwithin,calledoverthebalustrades——

  Sam!

  Hallo,repliedthemanwiththewhitehat。

  Numbertwenty-twowantshisboots。

  Asknumbertwenty-two,wetherhe’llhave’emnow,orwaittillhegets’em,wasthereply。

  Come,don’tbeafool,Sam,saidthegirl,coaxingly,thegentlemanwantshisbootsdirectly。

  Well,youareaniceyoung’oomanforamusicalparty,youare,

  saidtheboot-cleaner。Lookatthesehereboots——elevenpairo’boots。

  andoneshoeasb’longstonumbersix,withthewoodenleg。Theelevenbootsistobecalledathalf-pasteightandtheshoeatnine。Who’snumbertwenty-two,that’stoputalltheothersout?No,no。reg’larrotation,asJackKetchsaid,wenhetiedthemenup。Sorrytokeepyouawaitin’,sir,butI’llattendtoyoudirectly。

  Sayingwhich,themaninthewhitehatsettoworkuponatop-bootwithincreasedassiduity。

  Therewasanotherloudring。andthebustlingoldlandladyoftheWhiteHartmadeherappearanceintheoppositegallery。

  Sam,criedthelandlady,where’sthatlazy,idle——why,Sam——oh,thereyouare。whydon’tyouanswer?

  Wouldn’tbegen-teeltoanswer,’tillyou’ddonetalking,repliedSam,gruffly。

  Here,cleanthemshoesfornumberseventeendirectly,andtake’emtoprivatesitting-room,numberfive,firstfloor。

  Thelandladyflungapairoflady’sshoesintotheyard,andbustledaway。

  Number5,saidSam,ashepickeduptheshoes,andtakingapieceofchalkfromhispocket,madeamemorandumoftheirdestinationonthesoles——Lady’sshoesandprivatesittin’-room!Isupposeshedidn’tcomeinthewaggin。

  Shecameinearlythismorning,criedthegirl,whowasstillleaningovertherailingofthegallery,withagentlemaninahackney-coach,andit’shimaswantshisboots,andyou’dbetterdo’em,that’sallaboutit。

  Vydidn’tyousaysobefore?saidSam,withgreatindignation,singlingoutthebootsinquestionfromtheheapbeforehim。ForallIknow’dhevasoneo’theregularthree-pennies。Privateroom!andaladytoo!Ifhe’sanythingofagen’lm’n,he’svorthashillin’aday,letalonethearrands。

  Stimulatedbythisinspiringreflection,Mr。Samuelbrushedawaywithsuchheartygoodwill,thatinafewminutesthebootsandshoes,withapolishwhichwouldhavestruckenvytothesouloftheamiableMr。WarrenfortheyusedDayandMartinattheWhiteHart,hadarrivedatthedoorofnumberfive。

  Comein,saidaman’svoice,inreplytoSam’srapatthedoor。

  Sammadehisbestbow,andsteppedintothepresenceofaladyandgentlemanseatedatbreakfast。Havingofficiouslydepositedthegentleman’sbootsrightandleftathisfeet,andthelady’sshoesrightandleftathers,hebackedtowardsthedoor。

  Boots,saidthegentleman。

  Sir,saidSam,closingthedoor,andkeepinghishandontheknobofthelock。

  Doyouknow——what’sa-name——Doctors’Commons?

  Yes,sir。

  Whereisit?

  Paul’sChurch-yard,sir。lowarchwayonthecarriageside,bookseller’satonecorner,hot-elontheother,andtwoportersinthemiddleastoutsforlicences。

  Toutsforlicences!saidthegentleman。

  Toutsforlicences,repliedSam。Twocovesinvhiteaprons——touchestheirhatswenyouwalkin——`Licence,sir,licence?’Queersort,them,andtheirmas’rstoo,sir——OldBailyProctors——andnomistake。

  Whatdotheydo?inquiredthegentleman。

  Do!You,sir!Thata’ntthewostonit,neither。Theyputsthingsintooldgen’lm’n’sheadsastheyneverdreamedof。Myfather,sir,wosacoachman。Awidowerhewos,andfatenoughforanything——uncommonfat,tobesure。Hismissusdies,andleaveshimfourhundredpound。DownhegoestotheCommons,toseethelawyeranddrawtheblunt——werysmart——top-bootson——nosegayinhisbutton-hole——broad-brimmedtile——greenshawl——quitethegen’lm’n。Goesthroughthearchvay,thinkinghowheshouldinwestthemoney——upcomesthetouter,toucheshishat——`Licence,sir,licence?’——`What’sthat?’saysmyfather——`Licence,sir,’sayshe——`Whatlicence?’saysmyfather——`Marriagelicence,’saysthetouter——`Dashmyveskit,’saysmyfather,`Ineverthoughto’that。’——`Ithinkyouwantsone,sir,’saysthetouter。Myfatherpullsup,andthinksabit——`No,’sayshe,`damme,I’mtooold,b’sidesI’mamanysizestoolarge,’sayshe——`Notabitonit,sir,’saysthetouter——`Thinknot?’saysmyfather——`I’msurenot,’sayshe。`wemarriedagen’lm’ntwiceyoursize,lastMonday。’——`Didyou,though,’saidmyfather——`Tobesurewedid,’saysthetouter,`you’reababbytohim——thisway,sir——thisway!’——andsureenoughmyfatherwalksarterhim,likeatamemonkeybehindahorgan,intoalittlebackoffice,vereafellersatamongdirtypapersandtinboxes,makingbelievehewasbusy。`Praytakeaseat,vileImakesouttheaffidavit,sir,’saysthelawyer。`Thank’ee,sir,’saysmayfather,anddownhesat,andstaredwithallhiseyes,andhismouthvideopen,atthenamesontheboxes。`What’syourname,sir,’saysthelawyer——`TonyWeller,’saysmyfather——`Parish?’

  saysthelawyer——`BelleSavage,’saysmyfather。forhestoppedtherewenhedroveup,andheknow’dnothingaboutparishes,hedidn’t——`Andwhat’sthelady’sname?’saysthelawyer。Myfatherwasstruckallofaheap。`BlessedifIknow,’sayshe——`Notknow!’saysthelawyer——`Nomorenoryoudo,’saysmyfather,`can’tIputthatinarterwards?’——`Impossible!’

  saysthelawyer——`Werywell,’saysmyfather,afterhe’dthoughtamoment,`putdownMrs。Clarke。’——`WhatClarke?’saysthelawyer,dippinghispenintheink——`SusanClarke,Markiso’Granby,Dorking,’saysmyfather。

  `she’llhaveme,ifIask,Ides-say——Ineversaidnothingtoher,butshe’llhaveme,Iknow。’Thelicencewasmadeout,andshedidhavehim,andwhat’smoreshe’sgothimnow。andIneverhadanyofthefourhundredpound,worseluck。Begyourpardon,sir,saidSam,whenhehadconcluded,butwenIgetsonthisheregrievance,Irunsonlikeanewbarrowviththewheelgreased。Havingsaidwhich,andhavingpausedforaninstanttoseewhetherhewaswantedforanythingmore,Samlefttheroom。

  Half-pastnine——justthetime——offatonce。saidthegentleman,whomweneedhardlyintroduceasMr。Jingle。

  Time——forwhat?saidthespinsteraunt,coquettishly。

  Licence,dearestofangles——givenoticeatthechurch——callyoumine,to-morrow——saidMr。Jingle,andhesqueezedthespinsteraunt’shand。

  Thelicence!saidRachael,blushing。

  Thelicence,repeatedMr。Jingle——Inhurry,post-hasteforalicence,Inhurry,dingdongIcomeback。

  Howyourunon,saidRachael。

  Runon——nothingtothehours,days,weeks,months,years,whenwe’reunited——runon——they’llflyon——volt——mizzle——steam-engine——thousand-horsepower——nothingtoit。

  Can’t——can’twebemarriedbeforeto-morrowmorning?inquiredRachael。

  Impossible——can’tbe——noticeatthechurch——leavethelicenceto-day——ceremonycomeoffto-morrow。

  Iamsoterrified,lestmybrothershoulddiscoverus!saidRachael。

  Discover——nonsense——toomuchshakenbythebreakdown——besides——extremecaution——gaveupthepost-chaise——walkedon——tookahackneycoach——cametotheBorough——lastplaceintheworldthathe’dlookin——ha!ha!——capitalnotionthat——very。

  Don’tbelong,saidthespinster,affectionately,asMr。Jinglestuckthepinched-uphatonhishead。

  Longawayfromyou?——Cruelcharmer,andMr。Jingleskippedplayfullyuptothespinsteraunt,imprintedachastekissuponherlips,anddancedoutoftheroom。

  Dearman!saidthespinsterasthedoorclosedafterhim。

  Rumoldgirl,saidMr。Jingle,ashewalkeddownthepassage。

  Itispainfultoreflectupontheperfidyofourspecies。andwewillnot,therefore,pursuethethreadofMr。Jingle’smeditations,ashewendedhiswaytoDoctors’Commons。Itwillbesufficientforourpurposetorelate,thatescapingthesnaresofthedragonsinwhiteaprons,whoguardtheentrancetothatenchantedregion,hereachedtheVicarGeneral’sofficeinsafety,andhavingprocuredahighlyflatteringaddressonparchment,fromtheArchbishopofCanterbury,tohistrustyandwell-belovedAlfredJingleandRachaelWardle,greeting,hecarefullydepositedthemysticdocumentinhispocket,andretracedhisstepsintriumphtotheBorough。

  HewasyetonhiswaytotheWhiteHart,whentwoplumpgentlemenandonethinoneenteredtheyard,andlookedroundinsearchofsomeauthorisedpersonofwhomtheycouldmakeafewinquiries。Mr。SamuelWellerhappenedtobeatthatmomentengagedinburnishingapairofpaintedtops,thepersonalpropertyofafarmerwhowasrefreshinghimselfwithaslightlunchoftwoorthreepoundsofcoldbeefandapotortwoofporter,afterthefatiguesoftheBoroughmarket。andtohimthethingentlemenstraightwayadvanced。

  Myfriend,saidthethingentleman。

  You’reoneo’theadwicegratisorder,thoughtSam,oryouwouldn’tbesowerryfondo’meallatonce。Butheonlysaid——Well,sir。

  Myfriend,saidthethingentleman,withaconciliatoryhem——Haveyougotmanypeoplestoppinghere,now?Prettybusy。Eh?

  Samstolealookattheinquirer。Hewasalittlehighdriedman,withadarksqueezed-upface,andsmallrestlessblackeyes,thatkeptwinkingandtwinklingoneachsideofhislittleinquisitivenose,asiftheywereplayingaperpetualgameofpeep-bowiththatfeature。Hewasdressedallinblack,withbootsasshinyashiseyes,alowwhiteneckcloth,andacleanshirtwithafrilltoit。Agoldwatch-chain,andseals,dependedfromhisfob。Hecarriedhisblackkidglovesinhishands,notonthem。andashespoke,thrusthiswristsbeneathhiscoat-tails,withtheairofamanwhowasinthehabitofpropoundingsomeregularposers。

  Prettybusy,eh?saidthelittleman。

  Oh,werrywell,sir,repliedSam,weshan’tbebankrupts,andweshan’tmakeourfort’ns。Weeatsourbiledmuttonwithoutcapers,anddon’tcareforhorse-radishwenvecangetbeef。

  Ah,saidthelittleman,you’reawag,a’ntyou?

  Myeldestbrotherwastroubledwiththatcomplaint,saidSam。itmaybecatching——Iusedtosleepwithhim。

  Thisisacuriousoldhouseofyours,saidthelittleman,lookingroundhim。

  Ifyou’dsentwordyouwasacoming,we’dha’haditrepaired。repliedtheimperturbableSam。

  Thelittlemanseemedratherbaffledbytheseseveralrepulses,andashortconsultationtookplacebetweenhimandthetwoplumpgentlemen。

  Atitsconclusion,thelittlemantookapinchofsnufffromanoblongsilverbox,andwasapparentlyonthepointofrenewingtheconversation,whenoneoftheplumpgentlemen,whoinadditiontoabenevolentcountenance,possessedapairofspectacles,andapairofblackgaiters,interfered——

  Thefactofthematteris,saidthebenevolentgentleman,thatmyfriendherepointingtotheotherplumpgentlemanwillgiveyouhalfaguinea,ifyou’llansweroneortwo——

  Now,mydearsir——mydearsir,saidthelittleman,pray,allowme——mydearsir,theveryfirstprincipletobeobservedinthesecases,isthis:

  ifyouplaceamatterinthehandsofaprofessionalman,youmustinnowayinterfereintheprogressofthebusiness。youmustreposeimplicitconfidenceinhim。Really,Mr。heturnedtotheotherplumpgentleman,andsaid——Iforgetyourfriend’sname。

  Pickwick,saidMr。Wardle,foritwasnootherthanthatjollypersonage。

  Ah,Pickwick——reallyMr。Pickwick,mydearsir,excuseme——Ishallbehappytoreceiveanyprivatesuggestionsofyours,asamicuscuriae,butyoumustseetheimproprietyofyourinterferingwithmyconductinthiscase,withsuchanadcaptandumargumentastheofferofhalfaguinea。Really,mydearsir,really。andthelittlemantookanargumentativepinchofsnuff,andlookedveryprofound。

  Myonlywish,sir,saidMr。Pickwick,wastobringthisveryunpleasantmattertoasspeedyacloseaspossible。

  Quiteright——quiteright,saidthelittleman。

  Withwhichview,continuedMr。Pickwick,Imadeuseoftheargumentwhichmyexperienceofmenhastaughtmeisthemostlikelytosucceedinanycase。

  Ay,ay,saidthelittleman,verygood,verygood,indeed。butyoushouldhavesuggestedittome。Mydearsir,I’mquitecertainyoucannotbeignorantoftheextentofconfidencewhichmustbeplacedinprofessionalmen。Ifanyauthoritycanbenecessaryonsuchapoint,mydearsir,letmereferyoutothewell-knowncaseinBarnwelland——

  NevermindGeorgeBarnwell,interruptedSam,whohadremainedawonderinglistenerduringthisshortcolloquy。everybodyknowsvhatsortofacasehiswas,tho’it’salwaysbeenmyopinion,mindyou,thattheyoung’oomandeservedscraggingaprecioussightmorethanhedid。Hows’ever,that’sneitherherenorthere。Youwantmetoexceptofhalfaguinea。Werrywell,I’magreeable:Ican’tsaynofairerthanthat,canI,sir?Mr。Pickwicksmiled。Thenthenextquestionis,whatthedevildoyouwantwithme,asthemansaidwenheseetheghost?

  Wewanttoknow——saidMr。Wardle。

  Now,mydearsir——mydearsir,interposedthebusylittleman。

  Mr。Wardleshruggedhisshoulders,andwassilent。

  Wewanttoknow,saidthelittleman,solemnly。andweaskthequestionofyou,inorderthatwemaynotawakenapprehensionsinside——wewanttoknowwhoyou’vegotinthishouse,atpresent?

  Whothereisinthehouse!saidSam,inwhosemindtheinmateswerealwaysrepresentedbythatparticulararticleoftheircostume,whichcameunderhisimmediatesuperintendence。There’sawoodenleginnumbersix。

  there’sapairofHessiansinthirteen。there’stwopairofhalvesinthecommercial。there’stheseherepaintedtopsinthesnuggeryinsidethebar。andfivemoretopsinthecoffee-room。

  Nothingmore?saidthelittleman。

  Stopabit,repliedSam,suddenlyrecollectinghimself。Yes。there’sapairo’Wellingtonsagooddealworn,andapairoflady’sshoes,innumberfive。

  Whatsortofshoes?hastilyinquiredWardle,who,togetherwithMr。

  Pickwick,hadbeenlostinbewildermentatthesingularcatalogueofvisitors。

  Countrymake,repliedSam。

  Anymaker’sname?

  Brown。

  Whereof?

  Muggleton。

  Itisthem,exclaimedWardle。ByHeavens,we’vefoundthem。

  Hush!saidSam。TheWellingtonshasgonetoDoctors’Commons。

  No,saidthelittleman。

  Yes,foralicence。

  We’reintime,exclaimedWardle。Showustheroom。notamomentistobelost。

  Pray,mydearsir——pray,saidthelittleman。caution,caution。

  Hedrewfromhispocketaredsilkpurse,andlookedveryhardatSamashedrewoutasovereign。

  Samgrinnedexpressively。

  Showusintotheroomatonce,withoutannouncingus,saidthelittleman,andit’syours。

  Samthrewthepaintedtopsintoacorner,andledthewaythroughadarkpassage,andupawidestaircase。Hepausedattheendofasecondpassage,andheldouthishand。

  Hereitis,whisperedtheattorney,ashedepositedthemoneyinthehandoftheirguide。

  Themansteppedforwardforafewpacesfollowedbythetwofriendsandtheirlegaladviser。Hestoppedatadoor。

  Isthistheroom?murmuredthelittlegentleman。

  Samnoddedassent。

  OldWardleopenedthedoor。andthewholethreewalkedintotheroomjustasMr。Jingle,whohadthatmomentreturned,hadproducedthelicencetothespinsteraunt。

  Thespinsterutteredaloudshriek,and,throwingherselfinachair,coveredherfacewithherhands。Mr。Jinglecrumpledupthelicence,andthrustitintohiscoat-pocket。Theunwelcomevisitorsadvancedintothemiddleoftheroom。

  You——youareanicerascal,arn’tyou?exclaimedWardle,breathlesswithpassion。

  Mydearsir,mydearsir,saidthelittleman,layinghishatonthetable。Pray,consider——pray。Defamationofcharacter:actionfordamages。

  Calmyourself,mydearsir,pray——

  Howdareyoudragmysisterfrommyhouse?saidtheoldman。

  Ay——ay——verygood,saidthelittlegentleman,youmayaskthat。Howdareyou,sir?——eh,sir?

  Whothedevilareyou?inquiredMr。Jingle,insofierceatone,thatthelittlegentlemaninvoluntarilyfellbackasteportwo。

  Whoishe,youscoundrel,interposedWardle。He’smylawyer,Mr。

  Perker,ofGray’sInn。Perker,I’llhavethisfellowprosecuted——indicted——I’ll——I’ll——I’llruinhim。Andyou,continuedMr。Wardle,turningabruptlyroundtohissister,you,Rachael,atatimeoflifewhenyououghttoknowbetter,whatdoyoumeanbyrunningawaywithavagabond,disgracingyoufamily,andmakingyourselfmiserable。Getonyourbonnet,andcomeback。

  Callahackney-coachthere,directly,andbringthislady’sbill,d’yehear——d’yehear?

  Cert’nly,sir,repliedSam,whohadansweredWardle’sviolentringingofthebellwithadegreeofceleritywhichmusthaveappearedmarvelloustoanybodywhodidn’tknowthathiseyehadbeenappliedtotheoutsideofthekeyholeduringthewholeinterview。

  Getonyourbonnet,repeatedWardle。

  Donothingofthekind,saidJingle。Leavetheroom,sir——nobusinesshere——lady’sfreetoactasshepleases——morethanone-and-twenty。

  Morethanone-and-twenty!ejaculatedWardle,contemptuously。Morethanone-and-forty!

  Ian’t,saidthespinsteraunt,herindignationgettingthebetterofherdeterminationtofaint。**

  Youare,repliedWardle,you’refiftyifyou’reanhour。

  Herethespinsterauntutteredaloudshriek,andbecamesenseless。

  Aglassofwater,saidthehumaneMr。Pickwick,summoningthelandlady。

  Aglassofwater!saidthepassionateWardle。Bringabucket,andthrowitalloverher。it’lldohergood,andsherichlydeservesit。

  Ugh,youbrute!ejaculatedthekind-heartedlandlady。Poordear。

  Andwithsundryejaculations,ofComenow,there’sadear——drinkalittleofthis——it’lldoyougood——don’tgivewayso——there’salove,etc。,etc。,thelandlady,assistedbyachamber-maid,proceededtovinegartheforehead,beatthehands,titillatethenose,andunlacethestaysofthespinsteraunt,andtoadministersuchotherrestorativesasareusuallyappliedbycompassionatefemalestoladieswhoareendeavouringtofermentthemselvesintohysterics。

  Coachisready,sir,saidSam,appearingatthedoor。

  Comealong。criedWardle。I’llcarryherdownstairs。

  Atthisproposition,thehystericscameonwithredoubledviolence。

  Thelandladywasabouttoenteraveryviolentprotestagainstthisproceeding,andhadalreadygivenventtoanindignantinquirywhetherMr。Wardleconsideredhimselfalordofcreation,whenMr。Jingleinterposed——

  Boots,saidhe,getmeanofficer。

  Stay,stay,saidlittleMr。Perker。Consider,sir,consider。

  I’llnotconsider,repliedJingle。She’sherownmistress——seewhodarestotakeheraway——unlessshewishesit。

  Iwon’tbetakenaway,murmuredthespinsteraunt。Idon’twishit。Heretherewasafrightfulrelapse。

  Mydearsir,saidthelittleman,inalowtone,takingMr。WardleandMr。Pickwickapart:Mydearsir,we’reinaveryawkwardsituation。

  It’sadistressingcase——very。Ineverknewonemoreso。butreally,mydearsir,reallywehavenopowertocontrolthislady’sactions。Iwarnedyoubeforewecame,mydearsir,thattherewasnothingtolooktobutacompromise。

  Therewasashortpause。

  Whatkindofcompromisewouldyourecommend?inquiredMr。Pickwick。

  Why,mydearsir,ourfriend’sinanunpleasantposition——verymuchso。Wemustbecontenttosuffersomepecuniaryloss。

  I’llsufferany,ratherthansubmittothisdisgrace,andlether,foolassheis,bemademiserableforlife,saidWardle。

  Iratherthinkitcanbedone,saidthebustlinglittleman。Mr。

  Jingle,willyoustepwithusintothenextroomforamoment?

  Mr。Jingleassented,andthequartettewalkedintoanemptyapartment。

  Now,sir,saidthelittleman,ashecarefullyclosedthedoor,istherenowayofaccommodatingthismatter——stepthisway,sir,foramoment——intothiswindow,sir,wherewecanbealone——there,sir,there,praysitdown,sir。Now,mydearsir,betweenyouandI,weknowverywell,mydearsir,thatyouhaverunoffwiththisladyforthesakeofhermoney。Don’tfrown,sir,don’tfrown。Isay,betweenyouandI,weknowit。Wearebothmenoftheworld,andweknowverywellthatourfriendshere,arenot——eh?

  Mr。Jingle’sfacegraduallyrelaxed。andsomethingdistantlyresemblingawinkquiveredforaninstantinhislefteye。

  Verygood,verygood,saidthelittleman,observingtheimpressionhehadmade。Nowthefactis,thatbeyondafewhundreds,theladyhaslittleornothingtillthedeathofhermother——fineoldlady,mydearsir。

  Old,saidMr。Jingle,brieflybutemphatically。

  Why,yes,saidtheattorneywithaslightcough。Youareright,mydearsir,sheisratherold。Shecomesofanoldfamilythough,mydearsir。oldineverysenseoftheword。ThefounderofthatfamilycameintoKent,whenJuliusCaesarinvadedBritain——onlyonememberofit,since,whohasn’tlivedtoeighty-five,andhewasbeheadedbyoneoftheHenrys。Theoldladyisnotseventy-threenow,mydearsir。

  Thelittlemanpaused,andtookapinchofsnuff。

  Well,criedMr。Jingle。

  Well,mydearsir——youdon’ttakesnuff!——ah!somuchthebetter——expensivehabit——well,mydearsir,you’reafineyoungman,manoftheworld——abletopushyourfortune,ifyouhadcapital,eh?

  Well,saidMr。Jingleagain。

  Doyoucomprehendme?

  Notquite。

  Don’tyouthink——now,mydearsir,Iputittoyou,don’tyouthink——thatfiftypoundsandliberty,wouldbebetterthanMissWardleandexpectation?

  Won’tdo——nothalfenough!saidMr。Jinglerising。

  Nay,nay,mydearsir,remonstratedthelittleattorney,seizinghimbythebutton。Goodroundsum——amanlikeyoucouldtrebleitinnotime——greatdealtobedonewithfiftypounds,mydearsir。

  Moretobedonewithahundredandfifty,repliedMr。Jingle,coolly。

  Well,mydearsir,wewon’twastetimeinsplittingstraws,resumedthelittleman,say——say——seventy。

  Won’tdo,saidMr。Jingle。

  Don’tgoaway,mydearsir——praydon’thurry,saidthelittleman。

  Eighty。come:I’llwriteyouachequeatonce。

  Won’tdo,saidMr。Jingle。

  Well,mydearsir,well,saidthelittleman,stilldetaininghim。

  justtellmewhatwilldo。

  Expensiveaffair,saidMr。Jingle。Moneyoutofpocket——posting,ninepounds。licence,three——that’stwelve——compensation,ahundred——hundredandtwelve——Breachofhonour——andlossofthelady——

  Yes,mydearsir,yes,saidthelittleman,withaknowinglook,nevermindthelasttwoitems。That’sahundredandtwelve——sayahundred——come。

  Andtwenty,saidMr。Jingle。

  Come,come,I’llwriteyouacheque,saidthelittleman。anddownhesatatthetableforthatpurpose。

  I’llmakeitpayablethedayafterto-morrow,saidthelittleman,withalooktowardsMr。Wardle。andwecangettheladyaway,meanwhile。

  Mr。Wardlesullenlynoddedassent。

  Ahundred,saidthelittleman。

  Andtwenty,saidMr。Jingle。

  Mydearsir,remonstratedthelittleman。

  Giveithim,interposedMr。Wardle,andlethimgo。

  Thechequewaswrittenbythelittlegentleman,andpocketedbyMr。

  Jingle。

  Now,leavethishouseinstantly!saidWardle,startingup。

  Mydearsir,urgedthelittleman。

  Andmind,saidMr。Wardle,thatnothingshouldhaveinducedmetomakethiscompromise——notevenaregardformyfamily——ifIhadnotknownthatthemomentyougotanymoneyinthatpocketofyours,you’dgotothedevilfaster,ifpossible,thanyouwouldwithoutit——

  Mydearsir,urgedthelittlemanagain。

  Bequiet。Perker,resumedWardle。Leavetheroom,sir。

  Offdirectly,saidtheunabashedJingle。Byebye,Pickwick。

  Ifanydispassionatespectatorcouldhavebeheldthecountenanceoftheillustriousman,whosenameformstheleadingfeatureofthetitleofthiswork,duringthelatterpartofthisconversation,hewouldhavebeenalmostinducedtowonderthattheindignantfirewhichflashedfromhiseyes,didnotmelttheglassesofhisspectacles——somajesticwashiswrath。Hisnostrilsdilated,andhisfistsclenchedinvoluntarily,asheheardhimselfaddressedbythevillain。Butherestrainedhimselfagain——hedidnotpulverisehim。

  Here,continuedthehardenedtraitor,tossingthelicenceatMr。Pickwick’sfeet。getthenamealtered——takehomethelady——doforTuppy。

  Mr。Pickwickwasaphilosopher,butphilosophersareonlymeninarmour,afterall。Theshafthadreachedhim,penetratedthroughhisphilosophicalharness,tohisveryheart。Inthefrenzyofhisragehehurledtheinkstandmadlyforward,andfollowedituphimself。ButMr。Jinglehaddisappeared,andhefoundhimselfcaughtinthearmsofSam。

  Hallo,saidthateccentricfunctionary,furniter’scheapwhereyoucomefrom,sir。Self-actingink,that’ere。it’swroteyoumarkuponthewall,oldgen’lm’n。Holdstill,sir。wot’stheuseo’runnin’arteramanashasmadehislucky,andgottot’otherendoftheBoroughbythistime。

  Mr。Pickwick’smind,likethoseofalltrulygreatmen,wasopentoconviction。Hewasaquickandpowerfulreasoner。andamoment’sreflectionsufficedtoremindhimoftheimpotencyofhisrage。Itsubsidedasquicklyasithadbeenroused。Hepantedforbreath,andlookedbenignantlyrounduponhisfriends。

  Shallwetellthelamentationsthatensued,whenMissWardlefoundherselfdesertedbythefaithlessJingle?ShallweextractMr。Pickwick’smasterlydescriptionofthatheartrendingscene?Hisnote-book,blottedwiththetearsofsympathisinghumanity,liesopenbeforeus。oneword,anditisintheprinter’shands。But,no!wewillberesolute!Wewillnotwringthepublicbosom,withthedelineationofsuchsuffering!

  Slowlyandsadlydidthetwofriendsandthedesertedlady,returnnextdayintheMuggletonheavycoach。Dimlyanddarklyhadthesombreshadowsofasummer’snightfallenuponallaround,whentheyagainreachedDingleyDell,andstoodwithintheentrancetoManorFarm。

  [NextChapter][TableofContents]ThePickwickPapers:Chapter11[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]CHAPTERXIINVOLVINGANOTHERJOURNEY,ANDANANTIQUARIANDISCOVERY。

  RECORDINGMR。PICKWICK’SDETERMINATIONTOBEPRESENTATANELECTION。AND

  CONTAININGAMANUSCRIPTOFTHEOLDCLERGYMAN’S

  ANIGHTofquietandreposeintheprofoundsilenceofDingleyDell,andanhour’sbreathingofitsfreshandfragrantairontheensuingmorning,completelyrecoveredMr。Pickwickfromtheeffectsofhislatefatigueofbodyandanxietyofmind。Thatillustriousmanhadbeenseparatedfromhisfriendsandfollowers,fortwowholedays。anditwaswithadegreeofpleasureanddelight,whichnocommonimaginationcanadequatelyconceive,thathesteppedforwardtogreetMr。WinkleandMr。Snodgrass,asheencounteredthosegentlemenonhisreturnfromhisearlywalk。Thepleasurewasmutual。forwhocouldevergazeonMr。Pickwick’sbeamingfacewithoutexperiencingthesensation?Butstillacloudseemedtohangoverhiscompanionswhichthatgreatmancouldnotbutbesensibleof,andwaswhollyatalosstoaccountfor。Therewasamysteriousairaboutthemboth,asunusualasitwasalarming。

  Andhow,saidMr。Pickwick,whenhehadgraspedhisfollowersbythehand,andexchangedwarmsalutationsofwelcome。howisTupman?

  Mr。Winkle,towhomthequestionwasmorepeculiarlyaddressed,madenoreply。Heturnedawayhishead,andappearedabsorbedinmelancholyreflections。

  Snodgrass,saidMr。Pickwick,earnestly,Howisourfriend——heisnotill?

  No,repliedMr。Snodgrass。andateartrembledonhissentimentaleye-lid,likearain-droponawindow-frame。No。heisnotill。

  Mr。Pickwickstopped,andgazedoneachofhisfriendsinturn。

  Winkle——Snodgrass,saidMr。Pickwick:whatdoesthismean?Whereisourfriend?Whathashappened?Speak——Iconjure,Ientreat——nay,Icommandyou,speak。

  Therewasasolemnity——adignity——inMr。Pickwick’smanner,nottobewithstood。

  Heisgone,saidMr。Snodgrass。

  Gone!exclaimedMr。Pickwick。Gone!

  Gone,repeatedMr。Snodgrass。

  Where!ejaculatedMr。Pickwick。

  Wecanonlyguessfromthatcommunication,repliedMr。Snodgrass,takingaletterfromhispocket,andplacingitinhisfriend’shand。Yesterdaymorning,whenaletterwasreceivedfromMr。Wardle,statingthatyouwouldbehomewithhissisteratnight,themelancholywhichhadhungoverourfriendduringthewholeofthepreviousday,wasobservedtoincrease。

  Heshortlyafterwardsdisappeared:hewasmissingduringthewholeday,andintheeveningthisletterwasbroughtbythehostlerfromtheCrown,atMuggleton。Ithadbeenleftinhischargeinthemorning,withastrictinjunctionthatitshouldnotbedelivereduntilnight。

  Mr。Pickwickopenedtheepistle。Itwasinhisfriend’shandwriting,andthesewereitscontents:——

  MydearPickwick,You,mydearfriend,areplacedfarbeyondthereachofmanymortalfrailtiesandweaknesseswhichordinarypeoplecannotovercome。Youdonotknowwhatitis,atoneblow,tobedesertedbyalovelyandfascinatingcreature,andtofallavictimtotheartificesofavillain,whohidthegrinofcunning,beneaththemaskoffriendship。Ihopeyounevermay。

  Anyletter,addressedtomeattheLeatherBottle,Cobham,Kent,willbeforwarded——supposingIstillexist。Ihastenfromthesightofthatworld,whichhasbecomeodioustome。ShouldIhastenfromitaltogether,pity——forgiveme。Life,mydearPickwick,hasbecomeinsupportabletome。

  Thespiritwhichburnswithinus,isaporter’sknot,onwhichtoresttheheavyloadofworldlycaresandtroubles。andwhenthatspiritfailsus,theburdenistooheavytobeborne。Wesinkbeneathit。YoumaytellRachael——Ah,thatname!。

  TRACYTUPMAN。

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