Rory。IcallitRory’ssong。Now，mind，Ihaveaverseforeverybody——
o’theleadinglads，Imean。andIshallput’eminorlave’emout，accordingtotheirinclinationsanddeserts，wise-a-weetoyou，mylittlefrind。SoyoucomprehenditwillbeRory’ssong，withvariations。
TalbotandLordJohn。Let’shaveit。let’shaveitwithoutfurtherpreface。
Rorysings。
I’mtruegametothelast，andnoWHEELERforme。
Rory。There’sastroke，inthefirstplace，forWheeler，——youtakeit？
Talb。Oyes，yes，wetakeit。goon。
Rorysings。
I’mtruegametothelast，andnoWheelerforme。
Ofallbirds，beasts，orfishes，thatswiminthesea，Webb’dorfinn’d，blackorwhite，manorchild，WhigorTory，NonebutTalbot，O，Talbot’sthedogforRory。
Talb。Talbotthedogismuchobligedtoyou。
LordJ。ButifIhaveanyear，oneofyourlinesisafoottoolong，Mr。
O’Ryan。
Rory。Phoo，putthebestfootforemostforafrind。Sluritinthesinging，anddon’tbequarrelling，anyhow，forafootmoreorless。Themorefeetthebetteritwillstand，youknow。Onlyletmegoon，andyou’llcometosomethingthatwillplaseyou。
Rorysings。
Thenthere’shewiththepursethat’saslongasmyarm。
Rory。That’sBursal，mindnow，whomImeantoalludetointhisverse。
LordJ。Iftheallusion’sgood，weshallprobablyfindoutyourmeaning。
Talb。Onwithyou，Rory，anddon’treadusnotesonasong。
LordJ。Goon，andletushearwhatyousayofBursal。
Rorysings。
Thenthere’shewiththepursethat’saslongasmyarm。
Hisfather’satanner，——butthenwhere’stheharm？
Heirtohouses，andhunters，andhorsepondsinfee，Won’thisskinssuresoonbuyhimapedigree？
LordJ。Encore！encore！Why，Rory，Ididnotthinkyoucouldmakesogoodasong。
Rory。Sure’twasnoneofImadeit——’twasTalbothere。
Talb。I！
Rory。aside。Notaword：I’llmakeyouapresentofit：sure，then，it’syourown。
Talb。Ineverwroteawordofit。
Rory。toLordJ。。Phoo，Phoo！he’sonlydenyingitoutoffalsemodesty。
Lord。J。Well，nomatterwhowroteit，——singitagain。
Rory。Beeasy。soIwill，andasmanymoreversesasyouwilltothebackofit。WinkingatTalbotaside。Youshallhavethecreditofall。Aloud。PutmeinwhenI’mout，Talbot，andyoutoLordJohn
join——join。
Rorysings，andLordJohnsingswithhim。
Thenthere’shewiththepursethat’saslongasmyarm。
Hisfather’satanner，——butthenwhere’stheharm？
Heirtohouses，andhunters，andhorsepondsinfee，Won’thisskinssuresoonbuyhimapedigree？
There’smylordwiththebackthatneverwasbent——
LordJohnstopssinging。TalbotmakessignstoRorytostop。butRorydoesnotseehim，andsingson。
There’smylordwiththebackthatneverwasbent。
Lethimlivewithhisancestors，Iamcontent。
RorypushesLordJ。andTalbotwithhiselbows。
Rory。Join，join，bothofye——whydon’tyoujoin？Sings。
Who’llbuymyLordJohn？thearchfishwomancried，Aniceoystershutupinachoiceshellofpride。
Rory。Butjoinoryespoilall。
Talb。Youhavespoiledall，indeed。
LordJ。makingaformallowbow。Mr。Talbot，LordJohnthanksyou。
Rory。LordJohn！bloodandthunder！Iforgotyouwereby——quiteandclean。
LordJ。putshimasideandcontinuesspeakingtoTalbot。LordJohnthanksyou，Mr。Talbot：thisisthesecondpartofthecaricature。LordJohnthanksyoufortheseproofsoffriendship——LordJohnhasreasontothankyou，Mr。Talbot。
Rory。Noreasoninlifenow。Don’tbethankingsomuchfornothinginlife。orifyoumustbethankingofsomebody，it’smeyououghttothank。
LordJ。Ioughtanddo，sir，forunmaskingonewho——
Talb。warmly。Unmasking，mylord——
Roryholdingthemasunder。Phoo！phoo！phoo！beeasy，can’tye？——
there’snounmaskingatallinthecase。MyLordJohn，Talbot’swritingthesongwasallamistake。
LordJ。Asmuchamistakeasyoursingingit，sir，Ipresume——
Rory。Justasmuch。’Twasallamistake。Sonowdon’tyougoandmakeamistakeintoamisunderstanding。ItwasImadeeverywordofthesongouto’theface*——thataboutthebackthatneverwasbent，andtheancestorsoftheoyster，andall。Hedidnotwasteawordofit。uponmyconscience，Iwroteitall——thoughI’llengageyoudidn’tthinkIcouldwriteagoodthing。LordJohnturnsaway。I’mtellingyouthetruth，andnotawordofalie，andyetyouwon’tbelieveme。
*Frombeginningtoend。
LordJ。Youwillexcuseme，sir，ifIcannotbelievetwocontradictoryassertionswithintwominutes。Mr。Talbot，Ithankyougoing。
RorytriestostopLordJohnfromgoing，butcannot——ExitLordJohn。
Rory。Well，ifheWILLgo，lethimgothen，andmuchgoodmayitdohim。
Nay，butdon’tyougotoo。
Talb。ORory，whathaveyoudone？——TalbotrunsafterLordJ。Hearme，mylord。ExitTalbot。
Rory。Hearhim！hearhim！hearhim！——Well，I’mpointblankmadwithmyselfformakingthisblunder。buthowcouldIhelpit？AssureaseverIammeaningtodothebestthingonearth，itturnsouttheworst。
Enterapartyoflads，huzzaing。
Roryjoins。Huzza！huzza！——Who，pray，areyehuzzaingfor？
1stBoy。Wheeler！Wheelerforever！huzza！
Rory。Talbot！Talbotforever！huzza！CaptainTalbotforever！huzza！
2ndBoy。CAPTAINhe’llneverbe，——atleastnotto-morrow。forLordJohnhasjustdeclaredforWheeler。
lstBoy。Andthatturnsthescale。
Rory。Oh，thescalemayturnbackagain。
3rdBoy。Impossible！LordJohnhasjustgivenhispromisetoWheeler。
Iheardhimwithmyownears。
Severalspeakatonce。AndIheardhim。andI！andI！andI！——Huzza！
Wheelerforever！
Rory。Oh，murder！murder！murder！Aside。Thisgoestomyheart！it’sallmydoing。O，mypoorTalbot！——murder！murder！murder！ButIwon’tletthemseemecastdown，anditisgoodtobehuzzaingatallevents。
HuzzaforTalbot！Talbotforever！huzza！Exit。
EnterWHEELERandBURSAL。
Wheel。WhowasthathuzzaingforTalbot？
Rorybehindthescenes，HuzzaforTalbot！Talbotforever！huzza！
Burs。Pooh，itisonlyRoryO’Ryan，ortheroaringlionasIcallhim。
Ha！ha！ha！RoryO’Ryan，aliasO’Ryan，theroaringlion。that’sagoodone。putitabout——RoryO’Ryan，theroaringlion，ha！ha！ha！butyoudon’ttakeit——youdon’tlaugh，Wheeler。
Wheeler。Ha！ha！ha！O，uponmyhonourIdolaugh。ha！ha！ha！
Aside。Itisthehardestworktolaughathiswit。Aloud。RoryO’Ryan，theroaringlion——ha！ha！ha！YouknowIalwayslaugh，Bursal，atyourjokes——he！he！he！——readytokillmyself。
Burs。sullenly。Youareeasilykilled，then，ifthatmuchlaughingwilldothebusiness。
Wheel。coughing。Justthen——somethingstuckinmythroat。Ibegyourpardon。
Burs。stillsullen。Oh，youneednotbegmypardonaboutthematter。
Idon’tcarewhetheryoulaughorno——notI。NowyouhavegotLordJohntodeclareforyou，youareabovelaughingatmyjokes，Isuppose。
Wheel。No，uponmywordandhonour，IDIDlaugh。
Burs。aside。Afigforyourwordandhonour。Aloud。IknowI’mofnoconsequencenow。butyou’llremember，thatifhislordshiphasthehonourofmakingyoucaptain，hemusthavethehonourtopayforyourcaptain’saccoutrements。forIsha’n’tpaythepiper，Ipromiseyou，sinceI’mofnoconsequence。
Wheel。Ofnoconsequence！But，mydearBursal，whatcouldputthatintoyourhead？that’sthestrangest，oddestfancy。Ofnoconsequence！
Bursal，ofnoconsequence！Why，everybodythatknowsanything——everybodythathasseenBursalHouse——knowsthatyouareofthegreatestconsequence，mydearBursal。
Burs。takingouthiswatch，andopeningit，looksatit。No，I’mofnoconsequence。IwonderthatrascalFinsburyisnotcomeyetwiththedressesstilllookingathiswatch。
Wheel。aside。IfBursaltakesitintohisheadnottolendmethemoneytopayformycaptain’sdress，whatwillbecomeofme？forIhavenotashilling——andLordJohnwon’tpayforme——andFinsburyhasordersnottoleavethehousetillheispaidbyeverybody。Whatwillbecomeofme？——biteshisnails。
Burs。aside。HowIlovetomakehimbitehisnails！Aloud。IknowI’mofnoconsequence。Strikeshisrepeater。
Wheel。Whatafinerepeaterthatisofyours，Bursal！ItisthebestI
everheard。
Burs。Soitwellmaybe。foritcostamintofmoney。
Wheel。Nomattertoyouwhatanythingcosts。Happydogasyouare！Yourollinmoney。andyetyoutalkofbeingofnoconsequence。
Burs。ButIamnotofhalfsomuchconsequenceasLordJohn——amI？
Wheel。Areyou？Why，aren’tyoutwiceasrichashe！
Burs。Verytrue，butI’mnotpurse-proud。
Wheel。Youpurse-proud！Ishouldneverhavethoughtofsuchathing。
Burs。NorI，ifTalbothadnotusedtheword。
Wheel。ButTalbotthinkseverybodypurse-proudthathasapurse。
Burs。aside。Well，thisWheelerdoesputoneintoagoodhumourwithone’sselfinspiteofone’steeth。Aloud。Talbotsaysbluntthings。
butIdon’tthinkhe’swhatyoucancallclever——hey，Wheeler？
Wheel。Clever？Oh，nothe。
Burs。IthinkIcouldwalkroundhim。
Wheel。Tobesureyoucould。Why，doyouknow，I’vequizzedhimfamouslymyselfwithinthisquarterofanhour！
Burs。Indeed！IwishIhadbeenby。
Wheel。SodoI，’faith！Itwasthebestthing。Iwanted，yousee，togethimoutofmyway，thatImighthavethefieldclearforelectioneeringto-day。SoIbowlsuptohimwithalongface——suchafaceasthis。Mr。Talbot，doyouknow——I’msorrytotellyou，here’sJackSmithhasjustbroughtthenewsfromSaltHill。Yourmother，ingettingintothecarriage，slipped，andhasBROKEherleg，andthereshe’slyingatafarmhouse，twomilesoff。Isnotittrue，Jack？saidI。
Isawthefarmerhelpingherinwithmyowneyes，criesJack。OffgoesTalbotlikeanarrow。Quizzedhim，quizzedhim！saidI。
Burs。Ha！ha！ha！quizzedhimindeed，withallhiscleverness。thatwasfamouslydone。
Wheel。Ha！ha！ha！Withallhisclevernesshewillbealltheeveninghuntingforthefarmhouseandthemotherthathasbrokeherleg。soheisoutofourway。
Burs。Butwhatneedhaveyoutowanthimoutofyourway，nowLordJohnhascomeovertoyourside？Youhavethethingatadeadbeat。
Wheel。Notsodeadeither。forthere’sagreatindependentparty，youknow。andifYOUdon’thelpme，Bursal，tocanvassthem，Ishallbenocaptain。ItisyouIdependuponafterall。Willyoucomeandcanvassthemwithme？DearBursal，pray——alldependsuponyou。
Pullshimbythearm——Bursalfollows。
Burs。Well，ifalldependsuponme，I’llseewhatIcandoforyou。
Aside。ThenIamofsomeconsequence！Moneymakesamanofsomeconsequence，Isee。atleastwithsomefolks。
SCENEII。
Inthebacksceneaflockofsheepareseenpenned。Infront，apartyofcountryladsandlasses，gailydressed，asinsheep-shearingtime，withribandsandgarlandsofflowers，etc。，aredancingandsinging。
EnterPATTY，dressedastheQueenoftheFestival，withalambinherarms。Thedancersbreakoffwhenshecomesin，anddirecttheirattentiontowardsher。
1stPeasant。Oh，herecomesPatty！HerecomestheQueeno’theday。
Whathaskeptyoufromussolong，Patty？
2ndPeasant。PleaseyourMajesty，youshouldsay。
Patty。Thispoorlittlelambofminewaswhatkeptmesolong。Itstrayedawayfromtherest。andIshouldhavelosthim，soIshould，forever，ifithadnotbeenforagoodyounggentleman。Yonderheis，talkingtoFarmerHearty。That’stheyounggentlemanwhopulledmylamboutoftheditchforme，intowhichhehadfallen——prettycreature！
1stPeasant。Prettycreature——or，yourMajesty，whicheveryouchoosetobecalled——comeanddancewiththem，andI’llcarryyourlamb。
Exeunt，singinganddancing。
EnterFARMERHEARTYandTALBOT。
Farmer。Why，younggentleman，I’mgladIhappenedtolightuponyouhere，andsotohinderyoufromgoingfartherastray，andsetyourheartateaselike。
Talb。Thanks，goodfarmer，youhavesetmyheartatease，indeed。Butthetruthis，theydidfrightenmeconfoundedly——morefoolI。
Farm。Nofoolatall，tomynotion。Ishould，atyourage，ay，oratmyage，justtheself-samewayhavebeenfrightenedmyself，ifsobethatmentionhadbeenmadetome，thatway，ofmyownmother’shavingbrokeherlegorso。Andgreater，byagreatdeal，theshameforthemthatfrightedyou，thanforyoutobefrighted。Howyounggentlemen，now，canbringthemselvesfortotellsuchlies，istome，now，amatterofamazement，like，thatIcan’tnowaysgetover。
Talb。Oh，farmer，suchliesareverywitty，thoughyouandIdon’tjustnowlikethewitofthem。Thisisfun，thisisquizzing。butyoudon’tknowwhatweyounggentlemenmeanbyquizzing。
Farm。Ay，butIdothough，tomycost，eversincelastyear。Lookyou，now，atyonfinefieldofwheat。Well，itwasjustasfine，andfiner，lastyear，tillayoungEtonjackanapes——
Talb。Takecarewhatyousay，farmer。forIamayoungEtonjackanapes。
Farm。No。butyoubenottheyoungEtonjackanapesthatI’ma-thinkingon。Itellyouitwasthistimelastyear，man。hewasa-horseback，I
tellye，mounteduponafinebayhunter，outa-hunting，like。
Talb。Itellyouitwasthistimelastyear，man，thatIwasmounteduponafinebayhunter，outa-hunting。
Farm。Zooks！wouldyouargufyamanoutofhiswits？Youwon’tgofortotellmethatyouarethatimpertinentlittlejackanapes！
Talb。No！no！I’llnottellyouthatIamanimpertinentlittlejackanapes！
Farmwipinghisforehead。Well，don’tthen，forIcan’tbelieveit。
andyouputmeout。WherewasI？
Talb。Mounteduponafinebayhunter。
Farm。Ay，sohewas。Here，YOU，sayshe，meaningme——openthisgateforme。Now，ifhehadbuta-spokemefair，Iwouldnothavegainsaidhim：buthefallstoswearing，soIbidhimopenthegateforhimself。
There’sabullbehindyou，farmer，sayshe。Iturns。Quizzedhim！
criesmyjackanapes，andoffhegallopshim，throughtheverythickofmycorn。buthegotafall，leapingtheditchoutyonder，whichpacifiedme，like，attheminute。SoIgoesuptoseewhetherhewaskilled。buthewasnotawhittheworseforhistumble。SoIshouldha’fellintoapassionwithhimthen，tobesure，aboutmycorn。buthishorsehadgotsuchaterriblesprain，Icouldn’tsayanythingtohim。forIwasa-
pityingthepooranimal。Asfineahunteraseveryousaw！Iamsartainsurehecouldnevercometogoodafter。
Talb。aside。Idothink，fromthedescription，thatthiswasWheeler。
andIhavepaidforthehorsewhichhespoiled！Aloud。Shouldyouknoweitherthemanorthehorseagain，ifyouweretoseethem？
Farm。Ay，thatIshould，tomydyingday。
Talb。Willyoucomewithme，then，andyou’lldomesomeguineas’worthofservice？
Farm。Ay，thatIwill，withadealofpleasure。foryoubeacivilspokenyounggentleman。and，besides，Idon’tthinktheworseonyouforbeingFRIGHTEDalittleaboutyourmother。beingwhatImightha’been，atyourage，myself。forIhadamothermyselfonce。Soleadon，master。
Exeunt。
ENDOFTHESECONDACT。
ACTTHETHIRD。
SCENEI。
ThegardenoftheWindmillInn，atSaltHill。
MISSBURSAL，MRS。NEWINGTON，SALLY，theChambermaid。
MissBursal，inafaintingstate，issittingonagardenstool，andleaningherheadagainsttheLandlady。Sallyisholdingaglassofwaterandasmellingbottle。
MissBursal。WhereamI？WhereamI？
Landlady。AttheWindmill，atSaltHill，younglady。andillorwell，youcan’tbebetter。
Sally。Doyoufindyourselfbettersincecomingintotheair，miss？
MissB。Better！Oh，Ishallneverbebetter！
Leansherheadonhand，androcksherselfbackwardsandforwards。
Landlady。Mydearyounglady，don’ttakeonso。Aside。NowwouldI
givesomethingtoknowwhatitwasmyLadyPiercefieldsaidtothefather，andwhatthefathersaidtothisone，andwhat’sthematteratthebottomofaffairs。Sally，didyouhearanythingatthedoors？
Sallyaside。No，indeed，ma’am。IneverBE’Satthedoors。
Landladyaside。Simpleton！Aloud。But，mydearMissBursal，ifI
maybesobold——ifyou’donlydisembosomyourmindofwhat’sonit——
MissB。Disembosommymind！Nonsense！I’venothingonmymind。Prayleaveme，madam。
Landladyaside。Madam，indeed！madam，forsooth！Oh，I’llmakeherpayforthat！ThatMADAMshallgodowninthebill，assureasmyname’sNewington。Landlady，inahighertone。Well，Iwishyoubetter，ma’am。IsupposeI’dbestsendyourownservant？
MissB。sullenly。Yes，Isupposeso。ToSally。Youneednotwait，child，norlooksocurious。
Sally。CUR’OUS！Indeed，miss，ifIlookalittleCUR’OUS，orsolookingatherdress，’tisonlybecauseIwasFRIGHTEDtoseeyoutakeon，whichmademeforgetmycleanapron，whenIcameout。andthisapron——
MissB。Hush！Hush！child。Don’ttellmeaboutcleanaprons，norrunonwithyourvulgartalk。Isthereeveraseatonecansetoninthat_H_arbouryonder？
Sally。Odear’ART，yes，miss。’tisthepleasantest_H_arbouron_H_earth。Bepleasedtoleanonmy_H_arm，andyou’llsoonbethere。
MissB。going。Thentellmywomansheneednotcometome，andletnobodyINTERUDEonme——doyou’EAR？Aside。Oh，whatwillbecomeofme？andtheTalbotswillsoonknowit！Andtheponies，andthecurricle，andthevis-a-vis——whatwillbecomeofthem？andhowshallImakemyappearanceattheMontem，oranyWAREelse？
SCENEII。
LORDJOHN——WHEELER——BURSAL。
Wheeler。Well，butmylord——Well，butBursal——thoughmyLadyPiercefield——thoughMissBursaliscometoSaltHill，youwon’tleaveusallatsixesandsevens。Whatcanwedowithoutyou？
LordJ。Youcandoverywellwithoutme。
Bursal。Youcandoverywellwithoutme。
Wheel。toBurs。。Impossible！——impossible！YouknowMr。Finsburywillbeherejustnow，withthedresses。andwehavetotrythemon。
Burs。Andtopayforthem。
Wheel。Andtosettleabouttheprocession。Andthen，mylord，theelectionistocomeonthisevening。Youwon’tgotillthat’sover，asyourlordshiphasPROMISEDmeyourlordship’svoteandinterest。
LordJ。MyvoteIpromisedyou，Mr。Wheeler。butIsaidnotasyllableaboutmyINTEREST。Myfriends，perhaps，havenotbeenoffended，thoughI
have，byMr。Talbot。Ishallleavethemtotheirowninclinations。
Burs。whistling。Wheugh！wheugh！wheugh！Wheeler，theprincipal’snothingwithouttheinterest。
Wheel。Oh，theinterestwillgoalongwiththeprincipal，ofcourse。forI’mpersuaded，ifmylordleaveshisfriendstotheirinclinations，itwillbetheinclinationofmylord’sfriendstovoteashedoes，ifhesaysnothingtothemtothecontrary。
LordJ。Itoldyou，Mr。Wheeler，thatIshouldleavethemtothemselves。
Burs。stillwhistling。Well，I’lldomybesttomakethatfatherofminesendmeofftoOxford。I’msureI’mfittogo——alongwithWheeler。
Why，you’dbestbemytutor，Wheeler！——adevilishgoodthought。
Wheel。Anexcellentthought。
Burs。AndacursedfinedustweshouldkickupatOxford，withyourMontemmoneyandall！——Money’sTHEGOafterall。Iwishitwascometomymakingyoumylastbow，yedistantspires，yeANTICtowers！
Wheel。asidetoLordJ。。YeANTICtowers！——fitforOxford，mylord！
LordJ。Antiquetowers，IsupposeMr。Bursalmeans。
Burs。Antique，tobesure！——Isaidantique，didnotI，Wheeler？
Wheel。O，yes。
LordJ。aside。Whatameananimalisthis！
EnterRORYO’RYAN。
Rory。Why，now，what’sbecomeofTalbot，Iwanttoknow？Thereheisnottobefoundanywhereinthewideworld。andthere’sahullabalooamongsthisfriendsforhim。
WheelerandBursalwinkatoneanother。
Wheel。Weknownothingofhim。
LordJ。Ihavenotthehonour，sir，tobeoneofMr。Talbot’sfriends。
Itishisownfault，andIamsorryforit。
Rory。’Faith，soamI，especiallyasitismine——faultImean。andespeciallyastheelectionisjustgoingtocomeon。
Enterapartyofboys，whocry，Finsbury’scome！——Finsbury’scomewiththedresses！
Wheel。Finsbury’scome？Oh，letusseethedresses，andletustry’emonto-night。
Burs。pushingthecrowd。Onwithye——onwithye，there！——Let’stry’emon！——Try’emon——I’mtobecolonel。
lstBoy。AndIlieutenant。
2ndBoy。AndIensign。
3rdBoy。AndIcollegesalt-bearer。
4thBoy。AndIoppidan。
5thBoy。Oh，whatapityI’minmourning。
Severalspeakatonce。
Andweareservitors。Wearetobetheeightservitors。
Wheel。AndIamtobeyourCaptain，Ihope。Comeon，myColonel。ToBursal。Mylord，youarecoming？
Rory。By-and-by——I’veawordinhisear，byyourLAVEandhis。
Burs。Why，whatthedevilstopstheway，there？——Pushon——onwiththem。
6thBoy。I’mmarshal。
Burs。Onwithyou——onwithyou——whocareswhatyouare？
Wheel。toBursal，aside。You’llpayFinsburyforme，yourichJew？
ToLordJohn。Yourlordshipwillrememberyourlordship’spromise。
LordJ。Idonotusuallyforgetmypromises，sir。andthereforeneednottoberemindedofthem。
Wheel。Ibegpardon——Ibegtenthousandpardons，mylord。
Burs。takinghimbythearm。Comeon，man，anddon’tstandbeggingpardonthere，orI’llleaveyou。
Wheel。toBurs。Ibegpardon，Bursal——Ibegpardon，tenthousandtimes。
Exeunt。
ManentLORDJOHNandRORYO’RYAN。
Rory。Wheugh！——Nowputthecase。IfIwasgoingtobehanged，forthelifeofmeIcouldn’tbeafterbeggingsomanypardonsfornothingatall。Butmanymen，manyminds——Hums。Truegametothelast！NoWheelerforme。Oh，murder！Iforgot，Iwasnighlettingthecatouto’
thebagagain。
LordJ。Youhadsomethingtosaytome，sir？Iwaittillyourrecollectionreturns。
Rory。’Faith，andthat’sverykindofyou。andifyouhadalwaysdoneso，youwouldneverhavebeenoffendedwithme，mylord。
LordJ。Youaremistaken，Mr。O’Ryan，ifyouthinkthatyoudidorcouldoffendme。
Rory。MistakenwasI，then，sureenough。butweareallliabletomistakes，andshouldforgetandforgiveoneanother。that’sthewaytogothrough。
LordJ。Youwillgothroughtheworldyourownway，Mr。O’Ryan，andallowmetogothroughitmyway。
Rory。Veryfair——fairenough——thenweshan’tcross。Butnow，tocometothepoint。Idon’tliketobemakingdisagreeableretrospects，ifI
couldanywayavoidit。nortobegoingaboutthebush，especiallyatthistimeo’day。when，asMr。Finsbury’scome，we’venotsomuchtimetoloseaswehad。Isthereanytruth，then，mylord，inthereportthatisgoingaboutthishourpast，thatyouhavegoneinahuff，andgivenyourpromisetheretothatsneakingWheelertovoteforhimnow？
LordJ。Inanswertoyourquestion，sir，IamtoinformyouthatIHAVE
promisedMr。Wheelertovoteforhim。
Rory。Inahuff？——Ay，now，thereitis！——Well，whenaman’sMAD，tobesure，he’smad——andthat’sallthatcanbesaidaboutit。AndIknow，ifIhadbeenMADmyself，Imighthavedoneafoolishthingaswellasanother。Butnow，mylord，thatyouarenotmad——
LordJ。Iprotest，sir，Icannotunderstandyou。Inoneword，sir，I’mneithermadnorafool！——Yourmostobedientgoing，angrily。
Roryholdinghim。Takecarenow。youaregoingmadwithmeagain。Butphoo！Ilikeyouthebetterforbeingmad。I’mveryoftenmadmyself，andIwouldnotgiveapotatoforonethathadneverbeenmadinhislife。
LordJ。aside。He’llnotbequiet，tillhemakesmeknockhimdown。
Rory。Agh！agh！agh！——IbegintoguesswhereaboutsIamatlast。MAD，inyourcountry，Itakeit，meansfitforBedlam。butwithusinIreland，now，’tisnosuchthing。itmean’snothinginlifebutthebeinginapassion。Well，onecomfortis，mylord，asyou’reabitofascholar，wehavetheLatinproverbinourfavour——IrafurorbrevisestAngerisshortmadness。Theshorterthebetter，Ithink。So，mylord，toputanendtowhateverofthekindyoumayhavefeltagainstpoorTalbot，I’llassureyouhe’sasinnocento’thatunfortunatesongasthebabeunborn。
LordJ。ItisratherlateforMr。Talbottomakeapologiestome。
Rory。Hemakeapologies！Nothe，’faith。he’dsendmetoCoventry，or，maybe，toaworseplace，didhebutknowIwascondescendingtomakethisbitofexplanation，unknowntohim。But，uponmyconscience，I’vearegardforyouboth，anddon’tliketoseeyougotogetherbytheears。
Now，lookyou，mylord。Bythisbook，andallthebooksthatwereevershutandopened，heneversaworheardofthatunluckysongofminetillIcameoutwithitthismorning。
LordJ。Butyoutoldmethismorningthatitwashewhowroteit。
Rory。ForthatItakeshametomyself，asitturnedout。butitwasonlyaWHITElietoSARVEafriend，andmakehimcutadashwithanewsongatelectiontime。ButI’vedoneforeverwithwhitelies。
LordJ。walkingaboutasifagitated。Iwishyouhadneverbegunwiththem，Mr。O’Ryan。Thismaybeagoodjoketoyou。butitisnonetomeorTalbot。SoTalbotneverwroteawordofthesong？
Rory。Notawordorsyllable，goodorbad。
LordJ。AndIhavegivenmypromisetovoteagainsthim。He’lllosehiselection。
Rory。Notifyou’llgivemeleavetospeaktoyourfriendsinyourname。
LordJ。Ihavepromisedtoleavethemtothemselves。andWheeler，Iamsure，hasengagedthembythistime。
Rory。Blessmybody！I’llnotstaypratingherethen。
ExitRory。
LordJ。follows。ButwhatcanhavebecomeofTalbot？Ihavebeentoohastyforonceinmylife。Well，Ishallsufferforitmorethananybodyelse。forIloveTalbot，sincehedidnotmakethesong，ofwhichIhatetothink。Exit。
SCENEIII。
AlargehallinEtonCollege——Astaircaseattheend——Etonlads，dressedintheirMontemDressesintheScene——Infront，WHEELERdressedasCaptain，BURSALandFINSBURY。
Fins。Igiveyouinfinitecredit，Mr。Wheeler，forthisdress。
Burs。INFINITECREDIT！Why，he’llhavenoobjectiontothat——hey，Wheeler？ButIthoughtFinsburyknewyoutoowelltogiveyoucreditforanything。
Fins。Youarepleasedtobepleasant，sir。Mr。Wheelerknows，inthatsenseoftheword，itisoutofmypowertogivehimcredit，andI’msurehewouldnotaskit。
Wheel。aside。O，Bursal，payhim，andI’llpayyoutomorrow。
Burs。Now，ifyouweren’ttobecaptainafterall，Wheeler，whataprettyfigureyou’dcut。Ha！ha！ha！——Hey？
Wheel。Oh，Iamassureofbeingcaptainasofbeingalive。Aside。Dopayforme，now，there’sagood，dearfellow，beforeTHEYlookingback
comeup。
Burs。aside。Ilovetomakehimlickthedust。Aloud。Hollo！
here’sFinsburywaitingtobepaid，lads。Totheladswhoareinthebackscene。Whohaspaid，andwhohasnotpaid，Isay？
Theladscomeforward，andseveralexclaimatonce，I’vepaid！I’vepaid！
EnterLORDJOHNandRORYO’RYAN。
Rory。Oh，KingofFashion，howfineweare！Why，now，tolookatyeallonemightfancyone’sselfattheplayhouseatonce，oratafancyballindearlittleDublin。Come，strikeupadance。
Burs。Pshaw！Whereveryoucome，RoryO’Ryan，nooneelsecanbeheard。
Whohaspaid，andwhohasnotpaid，Isay？
SeveralBoysexclaim。We’veallpaid。
1stBoy。I’venotpaid，buthere’smymoney。
SeveralBoys。Wehavenotpaid，buthere’sourmoney。
6thBoy。Orderthere，Iammarshal。Allthathavepaidmarchofftothestaircase，andtakeyourseatsthere，onebyone。March！
Astheymarchby，onebyone，soastodisplaytheirdresses，Mr。
Finsburybows，andsays，
Athousandthanks，gentlemen。Thankyou，gentlemen。Thanks，gentlemen。
ThefinestsighteverIsawoutofLon’on。
Rory，aseachladpasses，catcheshisarm，AreyouaTalbotITEoraWheelerITE？ToeachwhoanswersAWheelerite，Roryreplies，Phoo！
danceoff，then。Gotothedevilandshakeyourself。*EachwhoanswersATalbotite，Roryshakesbythehandviolently，singing，Talbot，oh，Talbot’sthedogforRory。
*Thisisthenameofacountrydance。
Whentheyhavealmostallpassed，LordJohnsays，ButwherecanMr。
Talbotbeallthistime？
Burs。Whoknows？Whocares？
Wheel。Aprettyelectioneerer！AsidetoBursal。Finsbury’swaitingtobepaid。
LordJ。Youdon’twaitforme，Mr。Finsbury。Youknow，Ihavesettledwithyou。
Fins。Yes，mylord——yes。Manythanks：andIhaveleftyourlordship’sdresshere，andeverybody’sdress，Ibelieve，asbespoke。
Burs。Here，Finsbury，isthemoneyforWheeler，who，betweenyouandme，isaspoorasarat。
Wheeleraffectingtolaugh。。Well，IhopeIshallbeasrichasaJewto-morrow。Bursalcountsmoney，inanostentatiousmanner，intoFinsbury’shand。
Fins。Athousandthanksforallfavours。
Rory。YouwillbekindenoughtoLAVEMr。Talbot’sdresswithme，Mr。
Finsbury，forI’mafriend。
Fins。Indubitably，sir：butthemisfortuneis——he！he！he！——Mr。Talbot，sir，hasbespokenodress。Yourservant，gentlemen。
ExitFinsbury。
Burs。SoyourfriendMr。Talbotcouldnotaffordtobespeakadress——
BursalandWheelerlaughinsolently。Howcomesthat，Iwonder？
LordJ。IfI’mnotmistaken，herecomesTalbottoanswerforhimself。
Rory。Butwho，inthenameofSt。Patrick，hashealongwithhim？
EnterTALBOTandLANDLORD。
Talb。Comeinalongwithus，FarmerHearty——comein。
WhilsttheFarmercomesin，theboyswhoweresittingonthestairs，riseandexclaim，
Whomhavewehere？Whatnow？Comedown，lads。here’smorefun。
Rory。What’shere，Talbot？
Talb。Anhonestfarmer，andagoodnaturedlandlord，whowouldcomeherealongwithmetospeak——
Farm。interrupting。Tospeakthetruth——strikeshisstickontheground。
Landlordunbuttoninghiswaistcoat。ButIamsohot——soshort-winded，thatpantingandpuffing——thatforthesoulandbodyofme，IcannotsaywhatIhavegotfortosay。
Rory。’Faith，now，themoreshortwindedastory，thebetter，tomyfancy。
Burs。Wheeler，what’sthematter，man？youlookasifyourunderjawwasbroke。
Farm。Thematteris，younggentlemen，thattherewasonceuponatimeafine，bayhunter。
Wheel。squeezinguptoTalbot，aside。Don’texposeme，don’tlethimtell。TotheFarmer。I’llpayforthecornIspoiled。TotheLandlord。I’llpayforthehorse。
Farm。Idoesnotwanttobepaidformycorn。Theshortofitis，younggentlemen，this’unhere，inthefinething-em-bobspointingtoWheeler，isashabbyfellow。hewentandspoiledMasterNewington’sbesthunter。
Land。panting。Ruinationedhim！ruinationedhim！
Rory。Butwasthatalltheshabbiness？NowImight，oranyofusmight，havehadsuchanaccidentasthat。Isupposehepaidthegentlemanforthehorse，orwilldoso，ingoodtime。
Land。holdinghissides。Oh，thatIhadbutalittlebreathinthisbodyo’minetospeakall——speakon，Farmer。
Farm。strikinghisstickonthefloor。Oons，sir，whenaman’sputout，hecan’tgoonwithhisstory。
Omnes。Bequiet，Rory——hush！Roryputshisfingeronhislips。
Farm。Why，sir，Iwasa-goingtotellyoutheshabbiness——why，sir，hedidnotpaythelandlord，here，forthehorse。buthegoesandsaystothelandlord，here——Mr。Talbothadyourhorseontheself-sameday。
’twashedidthedamage。’tisfromheyoumustgetyourmoney。SoMr。
Talbot，here，whoisanothersortofagentlemanthoughhehasnotsofineacoatwouldnotseeamanataloss，thatcouldnotaffordit。andnotknowingwhichof’emitwasthatspoiledthehorse，goes，whenhefindstheotherwouldnotpayafarthing，andpaysall。
Roryrubbinghishands。There’sTalbotforye。And，now，gentlementoWheelerandBursal，youguesstheRASON，asIdo，Isuppose，whyhebespokenodress。hehadnotmoneyenoughtobefine——andhonest，too。
Youareveryfine，Mr。Wheeler，todoyoujustice。
LordJ。Pray，Mr。O’Ryan，letthefarmergoon。hehasmoretosay。Howdidyoufindout，pray，mygoodfriend，thatitwasnotTalbotwhospoiledthehorse！Speakloudenoughtobeheardbyeverybody。
Farm。Ay，thatIwill——IsayveryloudlyIsayIsawhimtherepointingtoWheelertakethejumpwhichstrainedthehorse。andI’mreadytosweartoit。Yetheletanotherpay。there’stheshabbiness。
Ageneralgroanfromallthelads。Oh，shabbyWheeler，shabby！I’llnotvoteforshabbyWheeler！
LordJ。aside。Alas！Imustvoteforhim。
Rorysings。
Truegametothelast。noWheelerforme。
Talbot，oh，Talbot’sthedogforme。
Severalvoicesjointhechorus。
Burs。Wheeler，ifyouarenotchosenCaptain，youmustseeandpaymeforthedress。
Wheel。Iamaspoorasarat。
Rory。Oh，yes！ohyes！hearye！hearye，allmannerofmen——theelectionisnowgoingtobeginforthwithinthebigfield，andRoryO’RyanholdsthepollforTalbot。Talbotforever！——huzza！
ExitRory，followedbytheBoys，whoexclaimTalbotforever！——huzza！
TheLandlordandFarmerjointhem。
LordJ。Talbot，IamgladyouarewhatIalwaysthoughtyou——I’mgladyoudidnotwritethatodioussong。Iwouldnotlosesuchafriendforallthesongsintheworld。Forgivemeformyhastinessthismorning。
I’vepunishedmyself——I’vepromisedtovoteforWheeler。
Talb。Oh，nomatterwhomyouvotefor，mylord，ifyouarestillmyfriend，andifyouknowmetobeyours。Theyshakehands。
LordJ。Imustnotsay，HuzzaforTalbot！Exeunt。
SCENEIV。
WINDSORTERRACE。
LADYPIERCEFIELD，MRS。TALBOT，LOUISA，andalittlegirlofsixyearsold，LADYVIOLETTA，daughtertoLADYPIERCEFIELD。
ViolettalookingatapaperwhichLouisaholds。IlikeitVERYmuch。
LadyP。WhatisitthatyoulikeVERYmuch，Violetta？
Violet。Youarenottoknowyet，mamma。itis——Imaytellherthat——itisalittledrawingthatLouisaisdoingforme。Louisa，Iwishyouwouldletmeshowittomamma。
Louisa。Andwelcome，mydear。itisonlyasketchofTheLittleMerchants，astorywhichViolettawasreading，andsheaskedmetotrytodrawthepicturesofthelittlemerchantsforher。WhilstLadyP。
looksatthedrawing，ViolettasaystoLouisa
Butareyouinearnest，Louisa，aboutwhatyouweresayingtomejustnow，——quiteinearnest？
Louisa。Yes，inearnest，——quiteinearnest，mydear。
Violet。AndmayIaskmamma，NOW？
Louisa。Ifyouplease，mydear。
Violet。runstohermother。Stoopdowntome，mamma。I’vesomethingtowhispertoyou。
LadyPiercefieldstoopsdown。Violettathrowsherarmsroundhermother’sneck。
Violet。asidetohermother。Mamma，doyouknow——youknowyouwantagovernessforme。
LadyP。Yes，ifIcouldfindagoodone。
Violet。aloud。Stoopagain，mamma，I’vemoretowhisper。Asidetohermother。SHEsaysshewillbemygoverness，ifyouplease。
LadyP。SHE！——whoisSHE？
Violet。Louisa。
LadyP。pattingVioletta’scheek。Youarealittlefool。MissTalbotisonlyplayingwithyou。
Violet。No，indeed，mamma。sheisinearnest。arenotyou，Louisa？——Oh，sayyes！
Louisa。Yes。
Violet。clapsherhands。YES，mamma。doyouhearYES？
Louisa。IfLadyPiercefieldwilltrustyoutomycare，IampersuadedthatIshouldbemuchhappierasyourgoverness，mygoodlittleVioletta，thanasanhumbledependentofMissBursal’s。Asidetohermother。
Youseethat，nowIamputtothetrial，Ikeeptomyresolution，dearmother。
Mrs。T。YourladyshipwouldnotbesurprisedatthisofferofmyLouisa，ifyouhadheard，aswehavedonewithinthesefewhours，ofthelossoftheEastIndiashipinwhichalmostourwholepropertywasembarked。
Louisa。TheBombayCastleiswrecked。
LadyP。TheBombayCastle！Ihavethepleasuretotellyouthatyouaremisinformed——itwastheAirlyCastlethatwaswrecked。
LouisaandMrs。T。Indeed！
LadyP。Yes。youmaydependuponit——itwastheAirlyCastlethatwaslost。YouknowIamjustcomefromPortsmouth，whereIwenttomeetmybrother，GovernorMorton，whocamehomewiththelastIndiafleet，andfromwhomIhadtheintelligence。
HereViolettainterrupts，toaskhermotherforhernosegay——LadyP。
givesittoher，thengoesonspeaking。
LadyP。Theywereinsuchhaste，foolishpeople！tocarrytheirnewstoLondon，thattheymistookonecastleforanother。ButdoyouknowthatMr。Bursallosesfiftythousandpounds，itissaid，bytheAirlyCastle！
WhenItoldhimshewaslost，Ithoughthewouldhavedroppeddown。
However，IfoundhecomfortedhimselfafterwardswithabottleofBurgundy：butpoorMissBursalhasbeeninhystericseversince。
Mrs。T。Poorgirl！MyLouisa，YOUdidnotfallintohysterics，whenI
toldyouofthelossofourwholefortune。
Violetta，duringthisdialogue，hasbeenseatedonthegroundmakingupanosegay。
Violet。aside。Fallintohysterics！Whatarehysterics，Iwonder。
Louisa。MissBursalismuchtobepitied。forthelossofwealthwillbethelossofhappinesstoher。
LadyP。ItistobehopedthatthelossmayatleastcheckthefoolishprideandextravaganceofyoungBursal，who，asmysontellsme——
AcryofHuzza！huzza！behindthescenes。
EnterLORDJOHN。
LordJ。hastily。Howd’yedo，mother！MissTalbot，Igiveyoujoy。
LadyP。Takebreath——takebreath。
Louisa。Itismybrother。
Mrs。T。Hereheis！——Hark！hark！
AcrybehindthescenesofTalbotandtruthforever！Huzza！
Louisa。Theyarechairinghim。
LordJ。Yes，theyarechairinghim。andhehasbeenchosenforhishonourableconduct，notforhiselectioneeringskill。for，todohimjustice，Coriolanushimselfwasnotaworseelectioneerer。
EnterRORYO’RYANandanotherEtonlad，carryingTALBOTinachair，followedbyacrowdofEtonlads。
Rory。ByyourLAVE，mylord——byyourLAVE，ladies。
Omnes。Huzza！Talbotandtruthforever！Huzza！
Talb。Setmedown！There’smymother！There’smysister！
Rory。Easy，easy。Sethimdown？NosuchTING！givehimt’otherhuzza！
There’snothinglikeagoodloudhuzzainthisworld。Yes，thereis！
for，asmyLordJohnsaidjustnow，outofsomebook，oroutofhisownhead，——
Oneself-approvinghourwholeyearsoutweighs，Ofstupidstarersandofloudhuzzas。
CURTAINFALLS。
FORGIVEANDFORGET。
IntheneighbourhoodofaseaporttowninthewestofEngland，therelivedagardener，whohadoneson，calledMaurice，towhomhewasverypartial。Onedayhisfathersenthimtotheneighbouringtowntopurchasesomegardenseedsforhim。WhenMauricegottotheseed-shop，itwasfullofpeople，whowereallimpatienttobeserved：firstagreattallman，andnextagreatfatwomanpushedbeforehim。andhestoodquietlybesidethecounter，waitingtillsomebodyshouldbeatleisuretoattendtohim。Atlength，whenalltheotherpeoplewhowereintheshophadgotwhattheywanted，theshopmanturnedtoMaurice——Andwhatdoyouwant，mypatientlittlefellow？saidhe。
Iwantalltheseseedsformyfather，saidMaurice，puttingalistofseedsintotheshopman’shand。andIhavebroughtmoneytopayforthemall。
TheseedsmanlookedoutalltheseedsthatMauricewanted，andpackedthemupinpaper：hewasfoldingupsomepaintedlady-peas，when，fromadooratthebackoftheshop，therecameinasquare，rough-facedman，whoexclaimed，themomenthecamein，AretheseedsIorderedready？——
Thewind’sfair——theyoughttohavebeenaboardyesterday。Andmychinajar，isitpackedupanddirected？whereisit？
Itisupthereontheshelfoveryourhead，sir，answeredtheseedsman。
Itisverysafe，yousee。butwehavenothadtimetopackityet。Itshallbedoneto-day。andwewillgettheseedsreadyforyou，sir，immediately。
Immediately！thenstiraboutit。Theseedswillnotpackthemselvesup。
Makehaste，pray。
Immediately，sir，assoonasIhavedoneuptheparcelforthislittleboy。
Whatsignifiestheparcelforthislittleboy？Hecanwait，andI
cannot——windandtidewaitfornoman。Here，mygoodlad，takeyourparcel，andsheeroff，saidtheimpatientman。and，ashespoke，hetookuptheparcelofseedsfromthecounter，astheshopmanstoopedtolookforasheetofthickbrownpaperandpackthreadtotieitup。
Theparcelwasbutlooselyfoldedup，andastheimpatientmanliftedit，theweightofthepeaswhichwerewithinsideofitburstthepaper，andalltheseedsfelloutuponthefloor，whilstMauriceinvainheldhishandstocatchthem。Thepeasrolledtoallpartsoftheshop。theimpatientmansworeatthem，butMaurice，withoutbeingoutofhumour，setaboutcollectingthemasfastaspossible。
Whilsttheboywasbusiedinthismanner，themangotwhatseedshewanted。andashewastalkingaboutthem，asailorcameintotheshop，andsaid，Captain，thewindhaschangedwithinthesefiveminutes，anditlooksasifweshouldhaveuglyweather。
Well，I’mgladofit，repliedtheroughfacedman，whowasthecaptainofaship。Iamgladtohaveadaylongertostayashore，andI’vebusinessenoughonmyhands。Thecaptainpushedforwardtowardstheshopdoor。Maurice，whowaskneelingonthefloor，pickinguphisseeds，sawthatthecaptain’sfootwasentangledinsomepackthreadwhichhungdownfromtheshelfonwhichthechinajarstood。Mauricesawthat，ifthecaptaintookonemorestepforward，hemustpullthestring，sothatitwouldthrowdownthejar，roundthebottomofwhichthepackthreadwasentangled。Heimmediatelycaughtholdofthecaptain’sleg，andstoppedhim。Stay！Standstill，sir！saidhe，oryouwillbreakyourchinajar。
Themanstoodstill，looked，andsawhowthepackthreadhadcaughtinhisshoebuckle，andhowitwasneardraggingdownhisbeautifulchinajar。
Iamreallyverymuchobligedtoyou，mylittlefellow，saidhe。Youhavesavedmyjar，whichIwouldnothavebrokenfortenguineas，foritisformywife，andI’vebroughtitsafefromabroadmanyaleague。ItwouldhavebeenapityifIhadbrokenitjustwhenitwassafelanded。
Iamreallymuchobligedtoyou，mylittlefellow，thiswasreturninggoodforevil。IamsorryIthrewdownyourseeds，asyouaresuchagoodnatured，forgivingboy。Besokind，continuedhe，turningtotheshopman，astoreachdownthatchinajarforme。
Theshopmanlifteddownthejarverycarefully，andthecaptaintookoffthecover，andpulledoutsometuliproots。Youseem，bythequantityofseedsyouhavegot，tobelongtoagardener。Areyoufondofgardening？saidhetoMaurice。
Yes，sir，repliedMaurice，veryfondofit。formyfatherisagardener，andheletsmehelphimathiswork，andhehasgivenmealittlegardenofmyown。
Thenhereareacoupleoftulip-rootsforyou。andifyoutakecareofthem，I’llpromiseyouthatyouwillhavethefinesttulipsinEnglandinyourlittlegarden。ThesetulipsweregiventomebyaDutchmerchant，whotoldmethattheyweresomeoftherarestandfinestinHolland。
Theywillprosperwithyou，I’msure，windandweatherpermitting。
Mauricethankedthegentleman，andreturnedhome，eagertoshowhisprecioustulip-rootstohisfather，andtoacompanionofhis，thesonofanurseryman，wholivednearhim。Arthurwasthenameofthenurseryman’sson。
ThefirstthingMauricedid，aftershowinghistulip-rootstohisfather，wastoruntoArthur’sgardeninsearchofhim。Theirgardenswereseparatedonlybyalowwallofloosestones：Arthur！Arthur！whereareyou？Areyouinyourgarden！Iwantyou。ButArthurmadenoanswer，anddidnot，asusual，comerunningtomeethisfriend。Iknowwhereyouare，continuedMaurice，andI’mcomingtoyouasfastastheraspberry-busheswillletme。Ihavegoodnewsforyou——somethingyou’llbedelightedtosee，Arthur！——Ha！——buthereissomethingthatIamnotdelightedtosee，Iamsure，saidpoorMaurice，who，whenhehadgotthroughtheraspberry-bushes，andhadcomeinsightofhisowngarden，beheldhisbell-glass——hisbelovedbell-glass，underwhichhiscucumbersweregrownsofinely——hisonlybell-glass，brokentopieces！
Iamsorryforit，saidArthur，whostoodleaninguponhisspadeinhisowngarden。Iamafraidyouwillbeveryangrywithme。
Why，wasityou，Arthur，brokemybell-glass！Oh，howcouldyoudoso？
Iwasthrowingweedsandrubbishoverthewall，andbyaccidentagreatlumpofcouch-grass，withstoneshangingtotheroots，felluponyourbell-glass，andbrokeit，asyousee。
Mauriceliftedupthelumpofcouch-grass，whichhadfallenthroughthebrokenglassuponhiscucumbers，andhelookedathiscucumbersforamomentinsilence——Oh，mypoorcucumbers！youmustalldienow。Ishallseeallyouryellowflowerswitheredtomorrow。butitisdone，anditcannotbehelped。so，Arthur，letussaynomoreaboutit。
Youareverygood。Ithoughtyouwouldhavebeenangry。IamsureI
shouldhavebeenexceedinglyangryifyouhadbrokentheglass，ifithadbeenmine。
Oh，forgiveandforget，asmyfatheralwayssays。that’sthebestway。
LookwhatIhavegotforyou。ThenhetoldArthurthestoryofthecaptainoftheship，andthechinajar。theseedshavingbeenthrowndown，andofthefinetulip-rootswhichhadbeengiventohim。andMauriceconcludedbyofferingoneofthepreciousrootstoArthur，whothankedhimwithgreatjoy，andrepeatedlysaid，Howgoodyouwerenottobeangrywithmeforbreakingyourbell-glass！Iammuchmoresorryforitthanifyouhadbeeninapassionwithme！
Arthurnowwenttoplanthistulip-root：andMauricelookedatthebedswhichhiscompanionhadbeendigging，andatallthethingswhichwerecomingupinhisgarden。
Idon’tknowhowitis，saidArthur，butyoualwaysseemasgladtoseethethingsinmygardencomingup，anddoingwell，asiftheywereallyourown。Iammuchhappiersincemyfathercametolivehere，andsinceyouandIhavebeenallowedtoworkandtoplaytogether，thanI
everwasbefore。foryoumustknow，beforewecametolivehere，Ihadacousininthehousewithme，whousedtoplagueme。Hewasnotnearlysogood-naturedasyouare。Henevertookpleasureinlookingatmygarden，oratanythingthatIdidthatwaswelldone。andhenevergavemeashareofanythingthathehad。andsoIdidnotlikehim。howcouldI？
But，Ibelievethathatingpeoplemakesusunhappy。forIknowIneverwashappywhenIwasquarrellingwithhim。andIamalwayshappywithyou，Maurice。Youknowweneverquarrel。
Itwouldbewellforalltheworldiftheycouldbeconvinced，likeArthur，thattoliveinfriendshipisbetterthantoquarrel。ItwouldbewellforalltheworldiftheyfollowedMaurice’smaximofForgiveandForget，whentheyreceive，orwhentheyimaginethattheyreceive，aninjury。
Arthur’sfather，Mr。Oakly，thenurseryman，wasapttotakeoffenceattrifles。andwhenhethoughtthatanyofhisneighboursdisobligedhim，hewastooproudtoaskthemtoexplaintheirconduct。thereforehewasoftenmistakeninhisjudgmentofthem。HethoughtthatitshowedSPIRIT，torememberandtoresentaninjury。and，therefore，thoughhewasnotanill-naturedman，hewassometimesled，bythismistakenideaofSPIRIT，todoill-naturedthings：Awarmfriendandabitterenemy，
wasoneofhismaxims，andhehadmanymoreenemiesthanfriends。Hewasnotveryrich，buthewasproud。andhisfavouriteproverbwas，Betterliveinspitethaninpity。
WhenfirsthesettlednearMr。Grant，thegardener，hefeltinclinedtodislikehim，becausehewastoldthatMr。GrantwasaScotchman，andhehadaprejudiceagainstScotchmen。allofwhomhebelievedtobecunningandavaricious，becausehehadoncebeenover-reachedbyaScotchpeddler。Grant’sfriendlymannersinsomedegreeconqueredthisprepossessionbutstillhesecretlysuspectedthatTHISCIVILITY，ashesaid，wasallshow，andthathewasnot，norcouldnot，beingaScotchman，besuchaheartyfriendasatrue-bornEnglishman。
Granthadsomeremarkablyfineraspberries。Thefruitwassolarge，astobequiteacuriosity。Whenitwasinseason，manystrangerscamefromtheneighbouringtown，whichwasasea-bathingplace，tolookattheseraspberries，whichobtainedthenameofBrobdingnagraspberries。
Howcameyou，pray，neighbourGrant，ifamanmayask，bythesewonderfulfineraspberries？saidMr。Oakly，oneevening，tothegardener。
That’sasecret，repliedGrant，withanarchsmile。
Oh，incaseit’sasecret，I’venomoretosay。forInevermeddlewithanyman’ssecretsthathedoesnotchoosetotrustmewith。ButIwish，neighbourGrant，youwouldputdownthatbook。Youarealwaysporingoversomebookoranotherwhenamancomestoseeyou，whichisnot，accordingtomynotionsbeingaplain，UNLARNEDEnglishmanbredandborn，socivilandneighbourlyasmightbe。
Mr。Granthastilyshuthisbook，butremarked，withashrewdglanceathisson，thatitwasinthatbookhefoundhisBrobdingnagraspberries。
Youarepleasedtobepleasantuponthemthathavenotthelucktobeasbook-LARNEDasyourself，Mr。Grant。butItakeit，beingonlyaplainspokenEnglishman，asIobservedafore，thatoneistothefullasliketofindaraspberryinone’sgardenasinone’sbook，Mr。Grant。
Grant，observingthathisneighbourspokeratherinasurlytone，didnotcontradicthim。beingwellversedintheBible，heknewthatAsoftwordturnethawaywrath，andheanswered，inagoodhumouredvoice，Ihear，neighbourOakly，youarelikelytomakeagreatdealofmoneyofyournurserythisyear。Here’stothehealthofyouandyours，notforgettingtheseedlinglarches，whichIseearecomingonfinely。