Whiledinnerwasbeingpreparedweshutourselvesupinaroomtoavoidthecrowdofwomenwhopesteredustobuyathousandtrifles，andattwoo’clockwestarted，Moreauhavinggothismoney。WegottoCosneattwilight，andthoughClairmontwaswaitingforusatBriane，IdecidedonstoppingwhereIwas，andthisnightprovedsuperiortothefirst。Thenextdaywemadeabreakfastofthemealwhichhadbeenpreparedforoursupper，andwesleptatFontainebleau，whereIenjoyedAdeleforthelasttime。InthemorningIpromisedtocomeandseeheratLouviers，whenIreturnedfromEngland，butIcouldnotkeepmyword。
WetookfourhourstogetfromFontainebleautoParis，buthowquicklythetimepassed。IstoppedthecarriagenearthePontSt。
Michel，oppositetoaclockmaker’sshop，andafterlookingatseveralwatchesIgaveonetoAdele，andthendroppedherandherfatheratthecorneroftheRueauxOurs。Igotdownatthe\"HoteldeMontmorenci，\"notwantingtostopwithMadamed’Urfe，butafterdressingIwenttodinewithher。
CHAPTERVI
IDriveMyBrotherTheAbbeFromParis——MadameduRumainRecoversHerVoiceThroughMyCabala——ABadJoke——TheCorticelli——ITaked’ArandatoLondonMyArrivalAtCalaisAsusual，Madamed’Urfereceivedmewithopenarms，butIwassurprisedathearinghertellArandatofetchthesealedlettershehadgivenhiminthemorning。Iopenedit，founditwasdatedthesameday，andcontainedthefollowing:
\"Mygeniustoldmeatday—breakthatGaltinarduswasstartingfromFontainebleau，andthathewillcomeanddinewithmeto—day。\"
Shechancedtoberight，butIhavehadmanysimilarexperiencesinthecourseofmylife—experienceswhichwouldhaveturnedanyotherman’shead。Iconfesstheyhavesurprisedme，buttheyhavenevermademelosemyreasoningpowers。Menmakeaguesswhichturnsouttobecorrect，andtheyimmediatelyclaimpropheticpower；buttheyforgotallaboutthemanycasesinwhichtheyhavebeenmistaken。
SixmonthsagoIwassillyenoughtobetthatabitchwouldhavealitteroffivebitchpupsonacertainday，andIwon。Everyonethoughtitamarvelexceptmyself，forifIhadchancedtoloseI
shouldhavebeenthefirsttolaugh。
InaturallyexpressedmyadmirationforMadamed’Urfe’sgenius，andsharedherjoyinfindingherselfsowellduringherpregnancy。Theworthylunatichadgivenordersthatshewasnotathometoherusualcallers，inexpectationofmyarrival，andsowespenttherestofthedaytogether，consultinghowwecouldmakeArandagotoLondonofhisownfreewill；andasIdidnotintheleastknowhowitwastobedone，therepliesoftheoraclewereveryobscure。Madamed’Urfehadsuchastrongdisliketobiddinghimgo，thatIcouldnotpresumeonherobediencetothatextent，andIhadtorackmybrainstofindoutsomewayofmakingthelittlemanasktobetakentoLondonasafavour。
IwenttotheComedieItalienne，whereIfoundMadameduRumain，whoseemedgladtoseemebackinParisagain。
\"Iwanttoconsulttheoracleonamatterofthegreatestimportance，\"saidshe，\"andIhopeyouwillcomeandseemetomorrow。\"
I，ofcourse，promisedtodoso。
Ididnotcarefortheperformance，andshouldhaveleftthetheatreifIhadnotwantedtoseetheballet，thoughIcouldnotguessthepeculiarinterestitwouldhaveforme。WhatwasmysurprisetoseetheCorticelliamongstthedancers。IthoughtIwouldliketospeaktoher，notforanyamorousreasons，butbecauseIfeltcurioustohearheradventures。AsIcameoutImettheworthyBaletti，whotoldmehehadleftthestageandwaslivingonanannuity。IaskedhimabouttheCorticelli，andhegavemeheraddress，tellingmethatshewasinapoorway。
Iwenttosupwithmybrotherandhiswife，whoweredelightedtoseeme，andtoldmethatIhadcomejustintimetousealittlegentlepersuasiononourfriendtheabbe，ofwhomtheyhadgottired。
\"Whereishe？\"
\"Youwillseehimbeforelong，foritisnearsupper—time；andaseatinganddrinkingarethechiefconcernsofhislife，hewillnotfailtoputinanappearance。\"
\"Whathashedone？\"
\"Everythingthatagood—for—nothingcando；butIhearhimcoming，andIwilltellyouallaboutitinhispresence。\"
Theabbewasastonishedtoseeme，andbeganapolitespeech，althoughIdidnotfavourhimwithsomuchasalook。ThenheaskedmewhatIhadagainsthim。
\"Allthatanhonestmancanhaveagainstamonster。IhavereadtheletteryouwrotetoPossano，inwhichIamstyledacheat，aspy，acoiner，andapoisoner。Whatdoestheabbethinkofthat？\"
Hesatdowntotablewithoutaword，andmybrotherbeganasfollows:
\"Whenthisfinegentlemanfirstcamehere，mywifeandIgavehimamostcordialwelcome。Iallowedhimaniceroom，andtoldhimtolookuponmyhouseashisown。Possiblywiththeideaofinterestingusinhisfavour，hebeganbysayingthatyouwerethegreatestrascalintheworld。ToproveithetoldushowhehadcarriedoffagirlfromVenicewiththeideaofmarryingher，andwenttoyouatGenoaashewasingreatnecessity。Heconfessesthatyourescuedhimfromhismisery，buthesaysthatyoutraitorouslytookpossessionofthegirl，associatingherwithtwoothermistressesyouhadatthattime。Infine，hesaysthatyoulaywithherbeforehiseyes，andthatyoudrovehimfromMarseillesthatyoumightbeabletoenjoyherwithgreaterfreedom。
\"HefinishedhisstorybysayingthatashecouldnotgobacktoVenice，heneededourhelptillhecouldfindsomemeansoflivingonhistalentsorthroughhisprofessionasapriest。Iaskedhimwhathistalentswere，andhesaidhecouldteachItalian；butashespeaksitvilely，anddoesn’tknowawordofFrench，welaughedathim。Wewerethereforereducedtoseeingwhatwecoulddoforhiminhischaracterofpriest，andtheverynextdaymywifespoketoM。deSauci，theecclesiasticalcommissioner，begginghimtogivemybrotheranintroductiontotheArchbishopofParis，whomightgivehimsomethingthatmightleadtohisobtainingagoodbenefice。Hewouldhavetogotoourparishchurch，andIspoketotherectorofSt。Sauveur，whopromisedtolethimsaymass，forwhichhewouldreceivetheusualsumoftwelvesols。Thiswasaverygoodbeginning，andmighthaveledtosomethingworthhaving；butwhenwetoldtheworthyabbeofoursuccess，hegotintoarage，sayingthathewasnotthemantosaymassfortwelvesols，nortotoadythearchbishopinthehopeofbeingtakenintohisservice。No，hewasnotgoingtobeinanyone’sservice。Weconcealedourindignation，butforthethreeweekshehasbeenherehehasturnedeverythingupsidedown。Mywife’smaidleftusyesterday，toourgreatannoyance，becauseofhim；andthecooksaysshewillgoifheremains，asheisalwaysbotheringherinthekitchen。Wearethereforeresolvedthatheshallgo，forhissocietyisintolerabletous。Iamdelightedtohaveyouhere，asIthinkweoughttobeabletodrivehimawaybetweenus，andthesoonerthebetter。\"
\"Nothingeasier，\"saidI；\"ifhelikestostayinParis，lethimdoso。Youcansendoffhisragstosomefurnishedapartments，andservehimwithapoliceordernottoputfootinyourhouseagain。
Ontheotherhandifhewantstogoaway，lethimsaywhere，andI
willpayhisjourney—moneythisevening。\"
\"Nothingcouldbemoregenerous。Whatdoyousay，abbe？\"
\"IsaythatthisisthewayinwhichhedrovemefromMarseilles。
Whatintolerableviolence！\"
\"GiveGodthanks，monster，thatinsteadofthrashingyouwithinaninchofyourlifeasyoudeserve，Iamgoingtogiveyousomemoney！
YouthoughtyouwouldgetmehangedatLyons，didyou？\"
\"WhereisMarcoline？\"
\"Whatisthattoyou？MakehasteandchoosebetweenRomeandParis，andrememberthatifyouchooseParisyouwillhavenothingtoliveon。\"
\"ThenIwillgotoRome。\"
\"Good！Thejourneyonlycoststwentylouis，butIwillgiveyoutwenty—five。\"
\"Handthemover。\"
\"Patience。Givemepens，inkandpaper。\"
\"Whatareyougoingtowrite？\"
\"BillsofexchangeonLyons，Turin，Genoa，Florence，andRome。YourplacewillbepaidasfarasLyons，andthereyouwillbeabletogetfivelouis，andthesamesumintheothertowns，butaslongasyoustayinParisnotonesinglefarthingwillIgiveyou。Iamstayingatthe’HotelMontmorenci；’that’sallyouneedknowaboutme。\"
Ithenbadefarewelltomybrotherandhiswife，tellingthemthatweshouldmeetagain。Checco，aswecalledmybrother，toldmehewouldsendontheabbe’strunkthedayfollowing，andIbadehimdosobyallmeans。
Thenextdaytrunkandabbecametogether。Ididnotevenlookathim，butafterIhadseenthataroomhadbeenassignedtohim，I
calledouttothelandlordthatIwouldbeanswerablefortheabbe’sboardandlodgingforthreedays，andnotamomentmore。Theabbetriedtospeaktome，butIsternlydeclinedtohaveanythingtosaytohim，strictlyforbiddingClairmonttoadmithimtomyapartments。
WhenIwenttoMadameduRumain’s，theportersaid，——
\"Sir，everybodyisstillasleep，butwhoareyou？Ihaveinstructions。\"
\"IamtheChevalierdeSeingalt。\"
\"Kindlycomeintomylodge，andamuseyourselfwithmyniece。Iwillsoonbewithyou。\"
Iwentin，andfoundaneatly—dressedandcharminggirl。
\"Mademoiselle，\"saidI，\"yourunclehastoldmetocomeandamusemyselfwithyou。\"
\"Heisarascal，forheconsultedneitherofus。\"
\"Yes，butheknewwellenoughthattherecouldbenodoubtaboutmyopinionafterIhadseenyou。\"
\"Youareveryflattering，sir，butIknowthevalueofcompliments。\"
\"Yes，Isupposethatyouoftengetthem，andyouwelldeservethemall。\"
Theconversation，aswellastheprettyeyesoftheniece，begantointerestme，butfortunatelytheuncleputanendtoitbybeggingmetofollowhim。Hetookmetothemaid’sroom，andIfoundherputtingonapetticoat，andgrumblingthewhile。
\"Whatisthematter，myprettymaid？Youdon’tseemtobeinagoodhumour。\"
\"Youwouldhavedonebettertocomeatnoon；itisnotnineo’clockyet，andmadamedidnotcomehometillthreeo’clockthismorning。I
amjustgoingtowakeher，andIamsorryforher。\"
Iwastakenintotheroomdirectly，andthoughhereyeswerehalfclosedshethankedmeforawakingher，whileIapologizedforhavingdisturbedhersleep。
\"Raton，\"saidshe，\"giveusthewritingmaterials，andgoaway。
Don’tcometillIcallyou，andifanyoneasksforme，Iamasleep。\"
\"Verygood，madam，andIwillgotosleepalso。\"
\"MydearM。Casanova，howisitthattheoraclehasdeceivedus？
M。duRumainisstillalive，andheoughttohavediedsixmonthsago。Itistruethatheisnotwell，butwewillnotgointoallthatagain。Thereallyimportantquestionisthis:Youknowthatmusicismyfavouritepursuit，andthatmyvoiceisfamousforitsstrengthandcompass；well，Ihavecomrletelylostit。Ihavenotsunganoteforthreemonths。Thedoctorshavestuffedmewithremedieswhichhavehadnoeffect:Itmakesmeveryunhappy，forsingingwastheonethingthatmademeclingtolife。IentreatyoutoasktheoraclehowIcanrecovermyvoice。HowdelightedIshouldbeifIcouldsingbyto—morrow。Ihaveagreatmanypeoplecominghere，andIshouldenjoythegeneralastonishment。IftheoraclewillsitIamsurethatitmightbeso，forIhaveaverystrongchest。Thatismyquestion；itisalongone，butsomuchthebetter；theanswerwillbelongtoo，andIlikelonganswers。\"
Iwasofthesameopinion，forwhenthequestionwasalongone，I
hadtimetothinkovertheanswerasImadethepyramid。MadameRumain’scomplaintwasevidentlysomethingtrifling，butIwasnophysician，andknewnothingaboutmedicine。Besides，forthehonourofthecabala，theoraclemusthavenothingtodowithmereempiricremedies。Isoonmadeupmymindthatalittlecareinherwayoflivingwouldsoonrestorethethroattoitsnormalcondition，andanydoctorwithbrainsinhisheadcouldhavetoldherasmuch。InthepositionIwasin，Ihadtomakeuseofthelanguageofacharlatan，soIresolvedonprescribingaceremonialworshiptothesun，atanhourwhichwouldinsuresomeregularityinhermodeoflife。
Theoracledeclaredthatshewouldrecoverhervoiceintwenty—onedays，reckoningfromthenewmoon，ifsheworshippedtherisingsuneverymorning，inaroomwhichhadatleastonewindowlookingtotheeast。
Asecondreplybadehersleepsevenhoursinsuccessionbeforeshesacrificedtothesun，eachhoursymbolizingoneofthesevenplanets；andbeforeshewenttosleepshewastotakeabathinhonourofthemoon，placingherlegsinlukewarmwateruptotheknees。Ithenpointedoutthepsalmswhichshewastorecitetothemoon，andthosewhichshewastosayinthefaceoftherisingsun，ataclosedwindow。
Thislastdirectionfilledherwithadmiration，\"for，\"saidshe，\"theoracleknewthatIshouldcatchcoldifthewindowwereopen。Iwilldoeverythingtheoraclebidsme，\"addedthecredulouslady，\"butI
hopeyouwillgetmeeverythingnecessaryfortheceremonies\"
\"Iwillnotonlytakecarethatyouhavealltherequisites，butasaproofofmyzealforyou，Iwillcomeanddothesuffumigationsmyselfthatyoumaylearnhowitisdone。\"
Sheseemeddeeplymovedbythisoffer，butIexpectedasmuch。I
knewhowthemosttriflingservicesareassessedatthehighestrates；andhereinliesthegreatsecretofsuccessintheworld，aboveall，whereladiesoffashionareconcerned。
Aswehadtobeginthenextday，beingthenewmoon，Icalledonheratnineo’clock。Asshehadtosleepforsevensuccessivehoursbeforeperformingtheceremoniestotherisingsun，shewouldhavetogotobedbeforeten；andtheobservanceofallthesetrifleswasofimportance，asanyonecanunderstand。
Iwassurethatifanythingcouldrestorethislady’svoiceacarefulregimenwoulddoit。Iprovedtoberight，andatLondonIreceivedagratefulletterannouncingthesuccessofmymethod。
MadameduRumain，whosedaughtermarriedthePrincedePolignac，wasaloverofpleasure，andhauntedgrandsupper—parties。Shecouldnotexpecttoenjoyperfecthealth，andshehadlosthervoicebythewayinwhichshehadabusedit。Whenshehadrecoveredhervoice，asshethought，bytheinfluenceofthegenii，shelaughedatanyonewhotoldherthattherewasnosuchthingasmagic。
IfoundaletterfromThereseatMadamed’Urfe’s，inwhichsheinformedmethatshewouldcometoParisandtakehersonbackbyforceifIdidnotbringhimtoLondon，addingthatshewantedapositivereply。Ididnotaskforanythingmore，butIthoughtThereseveryinsolent。
ItoldArandathathismotherwouldbewaitingforusatAbbevilleinaweek’stime，andthatshewantedtoseehim。
\"Wewillbothgiveherthepleasureofseeingus。\"
\"Certainly，\"saidhe；\"butasyouaregoingontoLondon，howshallI
comeback？\"
\"Byyourself，\"saidMadamed’Urfe，\"dressedasapostillion。\"
\"WhatshallIridepost？Howdelightfull\"
\"Youmustonlycovereightortenpostsaday，foryouhavenoneedtoriskyourlifebyridingallnight。\"
\"Yes，yes；butIamtodresslikeapostillion，amInot？\"
\"Yes；Iwillhaveahandsomejacketandapairofleatherbreechesmadeforyou，andyoushallhaveaflagwiththearmsofFranceonit。\"
\"TheywilltakemeforacouriergoingtoLondon。\"
Withtheideathattothrowdifficultiesinthewaywouldconfirmhiminhisdesiretogo，IsaidroughlythatIcouldnothearofit，asthehorsemightfallandbreakhisneck。IhadtobebeggedandentreatedforthreedaysbeforeIwouldgivein，andIdidsoontheconditionthatheshouldonlyrideonhiswayback。
AshewascertainofreturningtoParis，heonlytooklinensufficientforaveryshortabsence；butasIknewthatonceatAbbevillehecouldnotescapeme，IsenthistrunkontoCalais，wherewefounditonourarrival。However，theworthyMadamed’Urfegothimamagnificentpostillion’ssuit，notforgettingthetop—boots。
Thisbusinesswhichofferedagoodmanydifficultieswashappilyarrangedbytheactionofpurechance；andIamgladtoconfessthatofteninmylifehaschanceturnedthescaleinmyfavour。
IcalledonabankerandgothimtogivemeheavycreditsonseveralofthemostimportanthousesinLondon，whereIwishedtomakenumerousacquaintances。
WhileIwascrossingthePlacedesVictoires，IpassedbythehousewheretheCorticellilived，andmycuriositymademeenter。Shewasastonishedtoseeme，andafteralongsilencesheburstintotears，andsaid，——
\"IshouldneverhavebeenunhappyifIhadneverknownyou。\"
\"Yes，youwould，onlyinsomeotherway；yourmisfortunesaretheresultofyourbadconduct。Buttellmewhatareyourmisfortunes。\"
\"AsIcouldnotstayinTurinafteryouhaddishonouredme……\"
\"Youcametodishonouryourselfhere，Isuppose。Dropthattone，orelseIwillleaveyou。\"
Shebeganherwretchedtale，whichstruckmewithconsternation，forIcouldnothelpfeelingthatIwasthefirstandfinalcauseofthislonglistofwoes。HenceIfeltitwasmydutytosuccourher，howeverillshehadtreatedmeinthepast。
\"Then，\"saidI，\"youareatpresentthevictimofafearfuldisease，heavilyindebt，likelytobeturnedoutofdoorsandimprisonedbyyourcreditors。Whatdoyouproposetodo？\"
\"Do！Why，throwmyselfintheSeine，tobesure；that’sallthatisleftformetodo。Ihavenotafarthingleft。\"
\"Andwhatwouldyoudoifyouhadsomemoney？\"
\"Iwouldputmyselfunderthedoctor’shands，inthefirstplace，andthenifanymoneywasleftIwouldgotoBolognaandtrytogetalivingsomehow。PerhapsIshouldhavelearntalittlewisdombyexperience。\"
\"Poorgirl，Ipityyou！andinspiteofyourbadtreatmentofme，whichhasbroughtyoutothispass，Iwillnotabandonyou。Herearefourlouisforyourpresentwants，andto—morrowIwilltellyouwhereyouaretogoforyourcure。Whenyouhavegotwellagain，I
willgiveyouenoughmoneyforthejourney。Dryyourtears，repent，amendyourways，andmayGodhavemercyonyou！\"
Thepoorgirlthrewherselfonthegroundbeforeme，andcoveredoneofmyhandswithkisses，beggingmetoforgiveherfortheillshehaddoneme。Icomfortedherandwentmyway，feelingverysad。I
tookacoachanddrovetotheRuedeSeine，whereIcalledonanoldsurgeonIknew，toldhimthestory，andwhatIwantedhimtodo。Hetoldmehecouldcureherinsixweekswithoutanybodyhearingaboutit，butthathemustbepaidinadvance。
\"Certainly；butthegirlispoor，andIamdoingitoutofcharity。\"
TheworthymantookapieceofpaperandgavemeanoteaddressedtoahouseintheFaubourgSt。Antoine，whichranasfollows:
\"Youwilltakeinthepersonwhobringsyouthisnoteandthreehundredfrancs，andinsixweeksyouwillsendherbackcured，ifitpleaseGod。Thepersonhasreasonsfornotwishingtobeknown。\"
Iwasdelightedtohavemanagedthemattersospeedilyandatsuchacheaprate，andIwenttobedinacalmerstateofmind，deferringmyinterviewwithmybrothertillthenextday。
Hecameateighto’clock，and，constanttohisfolly，toldmehehadaplantowhichhewassureIcouldhavenoobjection。
\"Idon’twanttohearanythingaboutit；makeyourchoice，ParisorRome。\"
\"Givemethejourney—money，IwillremainatParis；butIwillgiveawrittenengagementnottotroubleyouoryourbrotheragain。Thatshouldbesufficient。\"
\"Itisnotforyoutojudgeofthat。Begone！Ihaveneitherthetimenorthewishtolistentoyou。Remember，Pariswithoutafarthing，orRomewithtwenty—fivelouis。\"
ThereuponIcalledClairmont，andtoldhimtoputtheabbeout。
IwasinahurrytohavedonewiththeCorticelliaffair，andwenttothehouseintheFaubourgSt。Antoine，whereIfoundakindlyandintelligent—lookingmanandwoman，andallthearrangementsofthehousesatisfactoryandappropriatetotheperformanceofsecretcures。Isawtheroomandthebathdestinedforthenewboarder，everythingwascleanandneat，andIgavethemahundredcrowns，forwhichtheyhandedmeareceipt。Itoldthemthattheladywouldeithercomeinthecourseoftheday，oronthedayfollowing。
IwenttodinewithMadamed’UrfeandtheyoungCountd’Aranda。
Afterdinnertheworthymarchionesstalkedtomeforalongtimeofherpregnancy，dwellingonhersymptoms，andonthehappinessthatwouldbeherswhenthebabestirredwithinher。Ihadputtoastrongrestrainuponmyselftoavoidburstingoutlaughing。WhenI
hadfinishedwithherIwenttotheCorticelli，whocalledmehersaviourandherguardianangel。Igavehertwolouistogetsomelinenoutofpawn，andpromisedtocomeandseeherbeforeIleftParis，togiveherahundredcrowns，whichwouldtakeherbacktoBologna。ThenIwaitedonMadameduRumainwhohadsaidfarewelltosocietyforthreeweeks。
Thisladyhadanexcellentheart，andwasprettyaswell，butshehadsocuriousasociety—mannerthatsheoftenmademelaughmostheartily。ShetalkedofthesunandmoonasiftheyweretwoExaltedPersonages，towhomshewasabouttobepresented。Shewasoncediscussingwithmethestateoftheelectinheaven，andsaidthattheirgreatesthappinesswas，nodoubt，toloveGodtodistraction，forshehadnoideaofcalmandpeacefulbliss。
Igavehertheincenseforthefumigation，andtoldherwhatpsalmstorecite，andthenwehadadelicioussupper。Shetoldherchamber—
maidtoescortmeatteno’clocktoaroomonthesecondfloorwhichshehadfurnishedformewiththeutmostluxury，adding，——
\"TakecarethattheChevalierdeSeingaltisabletocomeintomyroomatfiveo’clockto—morrow。\"
Atnineo’clockIplacedherlegsinabathoflukewarmwater，andtaughtherhowtosuffumigate。HerlegsweremouldedbythehandoftheGracesandIwipedthemamorously，laughingwithinmyselfatherexpressionofgratitude，andIthenlaidherinbed，contentingmyselfwithasolemnkissonherprettyforehead。WhenitwasoverI
wentuptomyroomwhereIwaswaitedonbytheprettymaid，whoperformedherdutieswiththatgracepeculiartotheFrenchsoubrette，andtoldmethatasIhadbecomehermistress’schambermaiditwasonlyrightthatsheshouldbemyvalet。Hermirthwasinfectious，andItriedtomakehersitdownonmyknee；butshefledawaylikeadeer，tellingmethatIoughttotakecareofmyselfifIwantedtocutagoodfigureatfiveo’clockthenextday。Shewaswrong，butappearanceswerecertainlyagainstus，anditiswellknownthatservantsdonotgivetheirmastersandmistressesthebenefitofthedoubt。
Atfiveo’clockinthemorningIfoundMadameduRumainnearlydressedwhenIwentintoherroom，andweimmediatelywentintoanother，fromwhichtherisingsunmighthavebeenseeifthe\"HoteldeBouillon\"hadnotbeenintheway，butthat，ofcourse，wasamatterofnoconsequence。MadameduRumainperformedtheceremonieswithallthedignityofanancientpriestessofBaal。Shethensatdowntoherpiano，tellingmethattofindsomeoccupationforthelongmorningofninehourswouldprovethehardestofalltherules，forshedidnotdinetilltwo，whichwasthenthefashionablehour。
Wehadameatbreakfastwithoutcoffee，whichIhadproscribed，andI
lefther，promisingtocallagainbeforeIleftParis。
WhenIgotbacktomyinn，Ifoundmybrothertherelookingveryuneasyatmyabsenceatsuchanearlyhour。WhenIsawhimIcried，——
\"RomeorParis，whichisittobe？\"
\"Rome，\"hereplied，cringingly。
\"Waitintheantechamber。Iwilldoyourbusinessforyou。\"
WhenIhadfinishedIcalledhimin，andfoundmyotherbrotherandhiswife，whosaidtheyhadcometoaskmetogivethemadinner。
\"Welcome！\"saidI。\"Youarecomejustintimetoseemedealwiththeabbe，whohasresolvedatlasttogotoRomeandtofollowmydirections。\"
IsentClairmonttothediligenceoffice，andtoldhimtobookaplaceforLyons；andthenIwroteoutfivebillsofexchange，offivelouiseach，onLyons，Turin，Genoa，Florence，andRome。
\"Whoistoassuremethatthesebillswillbehonoured？\"
\"Iassureyou，blockhead。Ifyoudon’tlikethemyoucanleavethem。\"
ClairmontbroughttheticketforthediligenceandIgaveittotheabbe，tellinghimroughlytobegone。
\"ButImaydinewithyou，surely？\"saidhe。
\"No，Ihavedonewithyou。GoanddinewithPossano，asyouarehisaccompliceinthehorribleattempthemadetomurderme。Clairmont，shewthismanout，andneverlethimsetfoothereagain。\"
Nodoubtmorethanoneofmyreaderswillpronouncemytreatmentoftheabbetohavebeenbarbarous；butputtingasidethefactthatI
owenomananaccountofmythoughts，deeds，andwords，naturehadimplantedinmeastrongdisliketothisbrotherofmine，andhisconductasamanandapriest，and，aboveall，hisconnivancewithPossano，hadmadehimsohatefultomethatIshouldhavewatchedhimbeinghangedwiththeutmostindifference，nottosaywiththegreatestpleasure。Leteveryonehavehisownprinciplesandhisownpassions，andmyfavouritepassionhasalwaysbeenvengeance。
\"Whatdidyoudowiththegirlheelopedwith？\"saidmysister—in—
raw。
\"IsentherbacktoVenicewiththeambassadorsthebetterbythirtythousandfrancs，somefinejewels，andaperfectoutfitofclothes。
ShetravelledinacarriageIgaveherwhichwasworthmorethantwohundredlouis。\"
\"That’sallveryfine，butyoumustmakesomeallowancefortheabbe’sgriefandrageatseeingyousleepwithher。\"
\"Fools，mydearsister，aremadetosuffersuchgrief，andmanyothersbesides。Didhetellyouthatshewouldnotlethimhaveanythingtodowithher，andthatsheusedtoboxhisears？\"
\"Onthethecontrary，hewasalwaystalkingofherloveforhim。\"
\"Hemadehimselfafinefellow，Ihavenodoubt，butthetruthis，itwasaveryuglybusiness。\"
Afterseveralhoursofpleasantconversationmybrotherleft，andI
tookmysister—in—lawtotheopera。Assoonaswewerealonethispoorsisterofminebegantomakethemostbittercomplaintsofmybrother。
\"Iamnomorehiswifenow，\"saidshe，\"thanIwasthenightbeforeourmarriage。\"
\"What！Stillamaid？\"
\"AsmuchamaidasatthemomentIwasborn。TheytellmeIcouldeasilyobtainadissolutionofthemarriage，butbesidesthescandalthatwouldarise，Iunhappilylovehim，andIshouldnotliketodoanythingthatwouldgivehimpain。\"
\"Youareawonderfulwoman，butwhydoyounotprovideasubstituteforhim？\"
\"IknowImightdoso，withouthavingtoenduremuchremorse，butI
prefertobearit。\"
\"Youareverypraiseworthy，butintheotherwaysyouarehappy？\"
\"Heisoverwhelmedwithdebt，andifIlikedtocalluponhimtogivemebackmydowryhewouldnothaveashirttohisback。Whydidhemarryme？Hemusthaveknownhisimpotence。Itwasadreadfulthingtodo。\"
\"Yes，butyoumustforgivehimforit。\"
Shehadcauseforcomplaint，formarriagewithoutenjoymentisathornwithoutroses。Shewaspassionate，butherprincipleswerestrongerthanherpassions，orelseshewouldhavesoughtforwhatshewantedelsewhere。Myimpotentbrotherexcusedhimselfbysayingthathelovedhersowellthathethoughtcohabitationwithherwouldrestorethemissingfaculty；hedeceivedhimselfandheratthesametime。Intimeshedied，andhemarriedanotherwomanwiththesameidea，butthistimepassionwasstrongerthanvirtue，andhisnewwifedrovehimawayfromParis。Ishallsaymoreofhimintwentyyearstime。
Atsixo’clockthenextmorningtheabbewentoffinthediligence，andIdidnotseehimforsixyears。IspentthedaywithMadamed’Urfe，andIagreed，outwardly，thatyoungd’ArandashouldreturntoParisasapostillion。Ifixedourdepartureforthedayafternext。
Thefollowingday，afterdiningwithMadamed’Urfewhocontinuedtorevelinthejoysofherregeneration，IpaidavisittotheCorticelliinherasylum。Ifoundhersadandsuffering，butcontent，andwellpleasedwiththegentlenessofthesurgeonandhiswife，whotoldmetheywouldeffectaradicalcure。Igavehertwelvelouis，promisingtosendhertwelvemoreassoonasIhadreceivedaletterfromherwrittenatBologna。Shepromisedshewouldwritetome，butthepoorunfortunatewasneverabletokeepherword，forshesuccumbedtothetreatment，astheoldsurgeonwrotetome，whenIwasatLondon。HeaskedwhatheshoulddowiththetwelvelouiswhichshehadlefttooneMadameLaura，whowasperhapsknowntome。Isenthimheraddress，andthehonestsurgeonhastenedtofulfilthelastwishesofthedeceased。
AllthepersonswhohelpedmeinmymagicaloperationswithMadamed’Urfebetrayedme，Marcolineexcepted，andallsavethefairVenetiandiedmiserably。LateronthereaderwillhearmoreofPossanoandCosta。
ThedaybeforeIleftforLondonIsuppedwithMadameduRumain，whotoldmethathervoicewasalreadybeginningtoreturn。Sheaddedasagereflectionwhichpleasedmehighly。
\"Ishouldthink，\"sheobserved，\"thatthecarefullivingprescribedbythecabalamusthaveagoodeffectonmyhealth。\"
\"Mostcertainly，\"saidI，\"andifyoucontinuetoobservetherulesyouwillkeepbothyourhealthandyourvoice。\"
Iknewthatitisoftennecessarytodeceivebeforeonecaninstruct；
theshadowsmustcomebeforethedawn。
ItookleaveofmyworthyMadamed’UrfewithanemotionwhichIhadneverexperiencedbefore；itmusthavebeenawarningthatIshouldneverseeheragain。IassuredherthatIwouldfaithfullyobserveallmypromises，andsherepliedthatherhappinesswascomplete，andthatsheknewsheoweditalltome。Infine，Itookd’Arandaandhistop—boots，whichhewascontinuallyadmiring，tomyinn，whencewestartedintheevening，ashehadbeggedmetotravelbynight。
Hewasashamedtobeseeninacarriagedressedasacourier。
WhenwereachedAbbevilleheaskedmewherehismotherwas。
\"Wewillseeaboutitafterdinner。\"
\"Butyoucanfindoutinamomentwhethersheishereornot？\"
\"Yes，butthereisnohurry。\"
\"Andwhatwillyoudoifsheisnothere？\"
\"Wewillgoontillwemeetherontheway。InthemeanwhileletusgoandseethefamousmanufactoryofM。Varobesbeforedinner。\"
\"Gobyyourself。Iamtired，andIwillsleeptillyoucomeback。\"
\"Verygood。\"
Ispenttwohoursingoingoverthemagnificentestablishment，theownerhimselfshewingitme，andthenIwentbacktodinnerandcalledformyyounggentleman。
\"HestartedforParisridingpost，\"repliedtheinnkeeper，whowasalsothepost—master，\"fiveminutesafteryouleft。HesaidhewasgoingaftersomedispatchesyouhadleftatParis。\"
\"Ifyoudon’tgethimbackIwillruinyouwithlaw—suits；youhadnobusinesstolethimhaveahorsewithoutmyorders。\"
\"Iwillcapturethelittlerascal，sir，beforehehasgottoAmiens。\"
Hecalledasmart—lookingpostillion，wholaughedwhenheheardwhatwaswanted。
\"Iwouldcatchhimup，\"saidhe，\"evenifhehadfourhoursstart。
Youshallhavehimhereatsixo’clock。\"
\"Iwillgiveyoutwolouis。\"
\"Iwouldcatchhimforthat，thoughhewereaverylark。\"
Hewasinthesaddleinfiveminutes，andbytherateatwhichhestartedIdidnotdoubthissuccess。NeverthelessIcouldnotenjoymydinner。Ifeltsoashamedtohavebeentakeninbyaladwithoutanyknowledgeoftheworld。Ilaydownonabedandslepttillthepostillionarousedmebycominginwiththerunaway，wholookedhalfdead。Isaidnothingtohim，butgaveordersthatheshouldbelockedupinagoodroom，withagoodbedtosleepon，andagoodsupper；andItoldthelandlordthatIshouldholdhimanswerablefortheladaslongasIwasinhisinn。Thepostillionhadcaughthimupatthefifthpost，justbeforeAmiens，andashewasalreadyquitetiredoutthelittlemansurrenderedlikealamb。
Atday—breakIsummonedhimbeforeme，andaskedhimifhewouldcometoLondonofhisownfreewillorboundhandandfoot。
\"Iwillcomewithyou，Igiveyoumywordofhonour；butyoumustletmerideonbeforeyou。Otherwise，withthisdressofmine，Ishouldbeashamedtogo。Idon’twantittobethoughtthatyouhadtogivechasetome，asifIhadrobbedyou。\"
\"Iacceptyourwordofhonour，butbecarefultokeepit。Embraceme，andorderanothersaddle—horse。\"
Hemountedhishorseinhighspirits，androdeinfrontofthecarriagewithClairmont。HewasquiteastonishedtofindhistrunkatCalais，whichhereachedtwohoursbeforeme。
CHAPTERVII
MyArrivalinLondon；MadameCornelis——IAmPresentedatCourt——
IRentaFurnishedHouse——IMakeaLargeCircleofAcquaintance——
MannersoftheEnglishWhenIgottoCalaisIconsignedmypost—chaisetothecareofthelandlordoftheinn，andhiredapacket。Therewasonlyoneavailableforaprivateparty，therebeinganotherforpublicuseatsixfrancsapiece。Ipaidsixguineasinadvance，takingcaretogetaproperreceipt，forIknewthatatCalaisamanfindshimselfinanawkwardpositionifheisunabletosupporthisclaimbydocuments。
BeforethetidewasoutClairmontgotallmybelongingsonboard，andIorderedmysupper。ThelandlordtoldmethatlouiswerenotcurrentinEngland，andofferedtogivemeguineasinexchangeformine；butIwassurprisedwhenIfoundhegavemethesamenumberofguineasasIhadgivenhimoflouis。Iwantedhimtotakethedifference——fourpercent。——butherefused，sayingthathedidnotallowanythingwhentheEnglishgavehimguineasforlouis。Idonotknowwhetherhefoundhissystemaprofitableoneonthewhole，butitwascertainlysoforme。
TheyoungCountd’Aranda，towhomIhadrestoredhishumblenameofTrenti，wasquiteresigned，butproudofhavinggivenmeaspecimenofhisknowingnessbyridingpost。Wewerejustgoingtositdownattable，wellpleasedwithoneanother，whenIheardaloudconversationinEnglishgoingonnearmydoor，andminehostcameintotellmewhatitwasabout。
\"It’sthecourieroftheDukeofBedford，theEnglishambassador，\"
saidhe；\"heannouncestheapproachofhismaster，andisdisputingwiththecaptainofthepacket。Hesayshehiredtheboatbyletter，andthatthecaptainhadnorighttoletittoyou。Themastermaintainsthathehasreceivednosuchletter，andnoonecanprovethatheistellingalie。\"
Icongratulatedmyselfonhavingtakenthepacketandpaidtheearnest—money，andwenttobed。Atday—breakthelandlordsaidthattheambassadorhadarrivedatmidnight，andthathismanwantedtoseeme。
Hecameinandtoldmethatthenobleman，hismaster，wasinagreathurrytogettoLondon，andthatIshouldobligehimverymuchbyyieldingtheboattohim。
Ididnotansweraword，butwroteanotewhichranasfollows:
\"Mylorddukemaydisposeofthewholeofthepacket，withtheexceptionofthespacenecessaryformyownaccommodation，thatoftwootherpersons，andmyluggage。IamdelightedtohavetheopportunityofobligingtheEnglishambassador。\"
Thevalettookthenote，andreturnedtothankmeonbehalfofhismaster，whostipulated，however，thatheshouldbeallowedtopayforthepacket。
\"Tellhimthatitisoutofthequestion，astheboatispaidforalready。\"
\"Hewillgiveyouthesixguineas\"
\"TellyourmasterthatIcannotallowhimtopay。Idonotbuytosellagain。\"
Thedukecalledonmeinthecourseofhalfanhour，andsaidthatwewerebothofusintheright。
\"However，\"headded，\"thereisamiddlecourse，letusadoptit，andIshallbejustasmuchindebtedtoyou。\"
\"Whatisthat，mylord？\"
\"Wewilleachpayhalf。\"
\"Mydesiretoobligeyou，mylord，willnotallowmetorefuse，butitisIwhowillbeindebtedtoyouforthehonouryourlordshipdoesme。Wewillstartassoonasyoulike，andIcanmakemyarrangementsaccordingly。\"
Heshookmyhandandlefttheroom，andwhenhehadgoneIfoundthreeguineasonthetable。Hehadplacedthemtherewithoutmynoticingthem。AnhourafterwardsIreturnedhiscall，andthentoldthemastertotakethedukeandhiscarriagesonboard。
WetooktwohoursandahalfincrossingtheChannel；thewindwasstrong，butwemadeagoodpassage。
ThestrangerwhosetshisfootonEnglishsoilhasneedofagooddealofpatience。Thecustom—houseofficialsmadeaminute，vexatiousandevenanimpertinentperquisition；butasthedukeandambassadorhadtosubmit，Ithoughtitbesttofollowhisexample；
besides，resistancewouldbeuseless。TheEnglishman，whoprideshimselfonhisstrictadherencetothelawoftheland，iscurtandrudeinhismanner，andtheEnglishofficialscannotbecomparedtotheFrench，whoknowhowtocombinepolitenesswiththeexerciseoftheirrights。
EnglishisdifferentineveryrespectfromtherestofEurope；eventhecountryhasadifferentaspect，andthewateroftheThameshasatastepeculiartoitself。Everythinghasitsowncharacteristics，andthefish，cattle，horses，men，andwomenareofatypenotfoundinanyotherland。Theirmanneroflivingiswhollydifferentfromthatofothercountries，especiallytheircookery。Themoststrikingfeatureintheircharacteristheirnationalpride；theyexaltthemselvesaboveallothernations。
Myattentionwasattractedbytheuniversalcleanliness，thebeautyofthecountry，thegoodnessoftheroads，thereasonablechargesforposting，thequicknessofthehorses，althoughtheynevergobeyondatrot；andlastly，theconstructionofthetownsontheDoverroad；
CanterburyandRochesterforinstance，thoughlargeandpopulous，arelikelongpassages；theyarealllengthandnobreadth。
WegottoLondonintheeveningandstoppedatthehouseofMadameCornelis，asTheresecalledherself。ShewasoriginallymarriedtoanactornamedImer，thentothedancerPompeati，whocommittedsuicideatVenicebyrippinguphisstomachwitharazor。
InHollandshehadbeenknownasMadameTrenti，butatLondonshehadtakenthenameofherloverCorneliusRigerboos，whomshehadcontrivedtoruin。
ShelivedinSohoSquare，almostfacingthehouseoftheVenetianambassador。WhenIarrivedIfollowedtheinstructionsIhadreceivedinherlastletter。Ilefthersoninthecarriage，andsentupmyname，expectingshewouldflytomeetme；buttheportertoldmetowait，andinafewminutesaservantingrandliverybroughtmeanoteinwhichMadameCornelisaskedmetogetdownatthehousetowhichherservantwouldconductme。Ithoughtthisratherstrangebehaviour，butstillshemighthaveherreasonsforactinginthismanner，soIdidnotletmyindignationappear。Whenwegottothehouse，afatwomannamedRancour，andtwoservants，welcomedus，orratherwelcomedmyyoungfriend；fortheladyembracedhim，toldhimhowgladshewastoseehim，anddidnotappeartobeawareofmyexistence。
Ourtrunksweretakenin，andMadameRancourhavingascertainedwhichbelongedtoCornelis，hadthemplacedinafinesuiteofthreerooms，andsaid，pointingouttohimtheapartmentandthetwoservants，\"Thisapartmentandthetwoservantsareforyou，andI，too，amyourmosthumbleservant。\"
ClairmonttoldmethathehadputmythingsinaroomwhichcommunicatedwithCornelis’s。Iwenttoinspectit，andsawdjrectlythatIwasbeingtreatedasifIwereapersonofnoconsequence。
Thestormofangerwasgathering，butwonderfultorelate，Isubduedmyself，anddidnotsayaword。
\"Whereisyourroom？\"IsaidtoClairmont。
\"Neartheroof，andIamtoshareitwithoneofthosetwoloutsyousaw。\"
TheworthyClairmont，whoknewmydisposition，wassurprisedatthecalmwithwhichIsaid，——
\"Takeyourtrunkthere。\"
\"ShallIopenyours？\"
\"No。Wewillseewhatcanbedoneto—morrow。\"
Istillkeptonmymask，andreturnedtotheroomoftheyounggentlemanwhoseemedtobeconsideredasmymaster。IfoundhimlisteningwithafoolishstaretoMadameRancour，whowastellinghimofthesplendidpositionhismotheroccupied，hergreatenterprise，herimmensecredit，thesplendidhouseshehadbuilt，herthirty—
threeservants，hertwosecretaries，hersixhorses，hercountryhouse，etc。，etc。
\"HowismysisterSophie？\"saidtheyounggentleman。
\"HernameisSophie，isit？SheisonlyknownasMissCornelis。Sheisabeauty，aperfectprodigy，sheplaysatsightonseveralinstruments，danceslikeTerpsichore，speaksEnglish，French，andItalianequallywell——inaword，sheisreallywonderful。Shehasagovernessandamaid。Unfortunately，sheisrathershortforherage；sheiseight。\"
Shewasten，butasMadameRancourwasnotspeakingtomeIrefrainedfrominterruptingher。
MylordCornelis，whofeltverytired，askedatwhathourtheyweretosup。
\"Atteno’clockandnotbefore，\"saidtheduenna，\"forMadameCornelisisalwaysengagedtillthen。Sheisalwayswithherlawyer，onaccountofanimportantlaw—suitshehasagainstSirFrederickFermer。\"
IcouldseethatIshouldlearnnothingworthlearningbylisteningtothewoman’sgossip，soItookmyhatandcaneandwentforawalkintheimmensecity，takingcarenottolosemyway。
Itwasseveno’clockwhenIwentout，andaquarterofanhourafter，seeinganumberofpeopleinacoffeehouse，Ienteredit。ItwasthemostnotoriousplaceinLondon，theresortofalltherascallyItaliansintown。IhadheardofitatLyons，andhadtakenafirmresolvenevertosetfootinit，butalmightychancemademegothereunknowntomyself。Butitwasmyonlyvisit。
Isatdownbymyselfandcalledforaglassoflemonade，andbeforelongamancameandsatbymetoprofitbythelight。Hehadaprintedpaperinhishand，andIcouldseethatthewordswereItalian。Hehadapencilwithwhichhescratchedoutsomewordsandletters，writingthecorrectionsinthemargin。Idlecuriositymademefollowhiminhiswork，andInoticedhimcorrectingtheword’ancora’，puttinginan’h’inthemargin。Iwasirritatedbythisbarbarousspelling，andtoldhimthatforfourcenturies’ancora’hadbeenspeltwithoutan’h’。
\"Quiteso，\"saidhe，\"butIamquotingfromBoccaccio，andoneshouldbeexactinquotations。\"
\"Iapologize，sir；Iseeyouareamanofletters。\"
\"Well，inasmallway。MynameisMartinelli。\"
\"Thenyouareinagreatwayindeed。Iknowyoubyrepute，andifI
amnotmistakenyouarearelationofCalsabigi，whohasspokenofyoutome。Ihavereadsomeofyoursatires。\"
\"MayIasktowhomIhavethehonourofspeaking？\"
\"MynameisSeingalt。HaveyoufinishedyoureditionoftheDecameron？\"
\"Iamstillatworkonit，andtryingtoincreasethenumberofmysubscribers。\"
\"IfyouwillbesokindIshouldbegladtobeofthenumber。\"
\"Youdomehonour。\"
Hegavemeaticket，andseeingthatitwasonlyforaguineaItookfour，andtellinghimIhopedtoseehimagainatthesamecoffee—
house，thenameofwhichIaskedhim，hetolditme，evidentlyastonishedatmyignorance；buthissurprisevanishedwhenIinformedhimthatIhadonlybeeninLondonforanhour，andthatitwasmyfirstvisittothegreatcity。
\"Youwillexperiencesometroubleinfindingyourwayback，\"saidhe，\"allowmetoaccompanyyou。\"
Whenwehadgotouthegavemetounderstandthatchancehadledmetothe\"OrangeCoffeeHouse，\"themostdisreputablehouseinLondon。
\"Butyougothere。\"
\"Yes，butIcansaywithJuvenal:
\"’Cantabitvacuuscoramlatroneviator。’
\"Theroguescan’thurtme；Iknowthemandtheyknowme；wenevertroubleeachother。\"
\"YouhavebeenalongtimeinLondon，Isuppose。\"
\"Fiveyears。\"
\"Ipresumeyouknowagoodmanypeople。\"
\"Yes，butIseldomwaitonanyonebutLordSpencer。Iamoccupiedwithliteraryworkandliveallbymyself。Idon’tmakemuch，butenoughtoliveon。Iliveinfurnishedapartments，andhavetwelveshirtsandtheclothesyouseeonmyback，andthatisenoughformyhappiness。
\"’Necultradeoslacesso。’\"
Iwaspleasedwiththishonestman，whospokeItalianwiththemostexquisitecorrectness。
OnthewaybackIaskedhimwhatIhadbetterdotogetacomfortablelodging。WhenheheardthestyleinwhichIwishedtoliveandthetimeIproposedtospendinLondon，headvisedmetotakeahousecompletelyfurnished。
\"Youwillbegivenaninventoryofthegoods，\"saidhe，\"andassoonasyougetasuretyyourhousewillbeyourcastle。\"
\"Iliketheidea，\"Ianswered，\"buthowshallIfindsuchahouse？\"
\"Thatiseasilydone。\"
Hewentintoashop，beggedthemistresstolendhimtheAdvertiser，noteddownseveraladvertisements，andsaid，——
\"That’sallwehavetodo。\"
ThenearesthousewasinPallMallandwewenttoseeit。Anoldwomanopenedthedoortous，andshewedusthegroundfloorandthethreefloorsabove。Eachfloorcontainedtworoomsandacloset。
Everythingshonewithcleanliness；linen，furniture，carpets，mirrors，andchina，andeventhebellsandtheboltsonthedoors。
Thenecessarylinenwaskeptinalargepress，andinanotherwasthesilverplateandseveralsetsofchina。Thearrangementsinthekitchenwereexcellent，andinaword，nothingwaslackinginthewayofcomfort。Therentwastwentyguineasaweek，and，notstoppingtobargain，whichisneverofanyuseinLondon，ItoldMartinellithatIwouldtakeitonthespot。
MartinellitranslatedwhatIsaidtotheoldwoman，whotoldmethatifIlikedtokeepheronashousekeeperIneednothaveasurety，andthatitwouldonlybenecessaryformetopayforeachweekinadvance。IansweredthatIwoulddoso，butthatshemustgetmeaservantwhocouldspeakFrenchorItalianaswellasEnglish。Shepromisedtogetoneinaday’stime，andIpaidherforfourweeks’
rentonthespot，forwhichshegavemeareceiptunderthenameoftheChevalierdeSeingalt。ThiswasthenamebywhichIwasknownduringthewholeofmystayinLondon。
ThusinlessthantwohoursIwascomfortablysettledinatownwhichissometimesdescribedasachaos，especiallyforastranger。ButinLondoneverythingiseasytohimwhohasmoneyandisnotafraidofspendingit。IwasdelightedtobeabletoescapesosoonfromahousewhereIwaswelcomedsoill，thoughIhadarighttothebestreception；butIwasstillmorepleasedatthechancewhichhadmademeacquaintedwithMartinelli，whomIhadknownbyreputeforsixyears。
WhenIgotbackMadameCornelishadnotyetarrived，thoughteno’clockhadstruck。YoungCorneliswasasleeponthesofa。Iwasenragedatthewaythewomantreatedme，butIresolvedtoputagoodfaceonit。
BeforelongthreeloudknocksannouncedthearrivalofMadameCornelisinasedan—chair，andIheardherascendingthestairs。Shecameinandseemedgladtoseeme，butdidnotcomeandgivemethosecaresseswhichIhadarighttoexpect。Sherantohersonandtookhimonherknee，butthesleepyboydidnotrespondtoherkisseswithanygreatwarmth。
\"Heisverytired，likemyself，\"saidI，\"andconsideringthatwearetravellersinneedofrestyouhavekeptuswaitingalongtime。\"
Idonotknowwhethershewouldhaveansweredatall，or，ifso，whatheranswerwouldhavebeen，forjustatthatmomentaservantcameinandsaidthatsupperwasready。Sheroseanddidmethehonourtotakemyarm，andwewentintoanotherroomwhichIhadnotseen。Thetablewaslaidforfour，andIwascuriousenoughtoenquirewhowasthefourthperson。
\"Itwastohavebeenmydaughter，butIleftherbehind，aswhenI
toldherthatyouandherbrotherhadarrivedsheaskedmeifyouwerewell。\"
\"Andyouhavepunishedherfordoingso？\"
\"Certainly，forinmyopinionsheoughttohaveaskedforherbrotherfirstandthenforyou。Don’tyouthinkIwasright？\"
\"PoorSophie！Iamsorryforher。Gratitudehasevidentlymoreinfluenceoverherthanbloodrelationship。\"
\"Itisnotaquestionofsentiment，butofteachingyoungpersonstothinkwithpropriety。\"
\"Proprietyisoftenfarfromproper。\"
Thewomantoldhersonthatshewasworkinghardtoleavehimafortunewhenshedied，andthatshehadbeenobligedtosummonhimtoEnglandashewasoldenoughtohelpherinherbusiness。
\"AndhowamItohelpyou，mydearmother？\"
\"Igivetwelveballsandtwelvesupperstothenobility，andthesamenumbertothemiddleclassesintheyear。Ihaveoftenasmanyassixhundredguestsattwoguineasahead。Theexpensesareenormous，andaloneasIamImustberobbed，forIcan’tbeintwoplacesatonce。Nowthatyouarehereyoucankeepeverythingunderlockandkey，keepthebooks，payandreceiveaccounts，andseethateveryoneisproperlyattendedtoattheassemblies；infine，youwillperformthedutiesofthemaster。\"
\"AnddoyouthinkthatIcandoallthat？\"
\"Youwilleasilylearnit。\"
\"Ithinkitwillbeverydifficult。\"
\"Oneofmysecretarieswillcomeandlivewithyou，andinstructyouineverything。DuringthefirstyearyouwillonlyhavetoacquiretheEnglishlanguage，andtobepresentatmyassemblies，thatImayintroduceyoutothemostdistinguishedpeopleinLondon。YouwillgetquiteEnglishbeforelong。\"
\"IwouldratherremainFrench。\"
\"That’smereprejudice，mydear，youwilllikethesoundofMisterCornelisby—and—bye。\"
\"Cornelis？\"
\"Yes；thatisyourname。\"
\"It’saveryfunnyone。\"
\"Iwillwriteitdown，sothatyoumaynotforgetit。\"Thinkingthatherdearsonwasjoking。MadameCornelislookedatmeinsomeastonishment，andtoldhimtogotobed，whichhedidinstantly。
Whenwewerealoneshesaidhestruckherasbadlyeducated，andtoosmallforhisage。
\"Iamverymuchafraid，\"saidshe，\"thatweshallhavetobeginhiseducationalloveragain。Whathashelearntinthelastsixyears？\"
\"Hemighthavelearntagreatdeal，forhewenttothebestboardingschoolinParis；butheonlylearntwhatheliked，andwhathelikedwasnotmuch。Hecanplaytheflute，ride，fence，danceaminuet，changehisshirteveryday，answerpolitely，makeagracefulbow，talkeleganttrifles，anddresswell。Asheneverhadanyapplication，hedoesn’tknowanythingaboutliterature；hecanscarcelywrite，hisspellingisabominable，hisarithmeticlimited，andIdoubtwhetherheknowsinwhatcontinentEnglandissituated。\"
\"Hehasusedthesixyearswell，certainly。\"
\"Say，rather，hehaswastedthem；buthewillwastemanymore。\"
\"Mydaughterwilllaughathim；butthenitisIwhohavehadthecareofhereducation。Hewillbeashamedwhenhefindshersowellinstructedthoughsheisonlyeight。\"
\"Hewillneverseeherateight，ifIknowanythingofreckoning；sheisfullyten。\"
\"IthinkIoughttoknowtheageofmyowndaughter。Sheknowsgeography，history，languages，andmusic；shearguescorrectly，andbehavesinamannerwhichissurprisinginsoyoungachild。Alltheladiesareinlovewithher。Ikeepherataschoolofdesignallday；sheshewsagreattastefordrawing。ShedineswithmeonSundays，andifyouwouldcaretocometodinnernextSundayyouwillconfessthatIhavenotexaggeratedhercapacities。\"
ItwasMonday。Isaidnothing，butIthoughtitstrangethatshedidnotseemtoconsiderthatIwasimpatienttoseemydaughter。Sheshouldhaveaskedmetomeetheratsupperthefollowingevening。
\"Youarejustintime，\"saidshe，\"towitnessthelastassemblyoftheyear；forinafewweeksallthenobilitywillleavetowninordertopassthesummerinthecountry。Ican’tgiveyouaticket，astheyareonlyissuedtothenobility，butyoucancomeasmyfriendandkeepclosetome。Youwillseeeverything。IfIamaskedwhoyouare，IwillsaythatyouhavesuperintendedtheeducationofmysoninParis，andhavebroughthimbacktome。\"
\"Youdometoomuchhonour。\"
Wecontinuedtalkingtilltwoo’clockinthemorning，andshetoldmeallaboutthesuitshehadwithSirFrederickFermer。Hemaintainedthatthehouseshehadbuiltatacostoftenthousandguineasbelongedtohimashehadfurnishedthemoney。Inequityhewasright，butaccordingtoEnglishlawwrong，foritwasshewhohadpaidtheworkmen，thecontractors，andthearchitect；itwasshethathadgivenandreceivedreceipts，andsignedalldocuments。Thehouse，therefore，belongedtoher，andFermeradmittedasmuch；butheclaimedthesumhehadfurnished，andherewasthekernelofthewholecase，forshehaddefiedhimtoproduceasingleacknowledgmentofmoneyreceived。
\"Iconfess，\"saidthishonestwoman，\"thatyouhaveoftengivenmeathousandpoundsatatime，butthatwasafriendlygift，andnothingtobewonderedatinarichEnglishman，consideringthatwewereloversandlivedtogether。\"
Shehadwonhersuitfourtimesoverintwoyears，butFermertookadvantageoftheintricaciesofEnglishlawtoappealagainandagain，andnowhehadgonetotheHouseofLords，theappealtowhichmightlastfifteenyears。
\"Thissuit，\"saidthehonestlady，\"dishonoursFermer。\"
\"Ishouldthinkitdid，butyousurelydon’tthinkithonoursyou。\"
\"CertainlyIdo。\"
\"Idon’tquiteunderstandhowyoumakethatout。\"
\"Iwillexplainitalltoyou。\"
\"Wewilltalkitoveragain\"
InthethreehoursforwhichwetalkedtogetherthiswomandidnotonceaskmehowIwas，whetherIwascomfortable，howlongIintendedtostayinLondon，orwhetherIhadmademuchmoney。Inshortshemadenoenquirieswhateveraboutme，onlysayingwithasmile，butnotheedlessly，——
\"Ineverhaveapennytospare。\"
Herreceiptsamountedtomorethantwenty—fourthousandpoundsperannum，butherexpenseswereenormousandshehaddebts。
Iavengedmyselfonherindifferencebynotsayingawordaboutmyself。Iwasdresssedsimplybutneatly，andhadnotanyjewellryordiamondsaboutmyperson。
Iwenttobedannoyedwithher，butgladtohavediscoveredthebadnessofherheart。InspiteofmylongingtoseemydaughterI
determinednottotakeanystepstomeethertilltheensuingSunday，whenIwasinvitedtodinner。
EarlynextmorningItoldClairmonttopullallmygoodsandchattelsinacarriage，andwhenallwasreadyIwenttotakeleaveofyoungCornelis，tellinghimIwasgoingtoliveinPallMall，andleavinghimmyaddress。
\"Youarenotgoingtostaywithme，then？\"saidhe。
\"No，yourmotherdoesn’tknowhowtowelcomeortotreatme。\"
\"Ithinkyouareright。IshallgobacktoParis。\"
\"Don’tdoanythingsosilly。Rememberthathereyouareathome，andthatinParisyoumightnotfindarooftoshelteryou。Farewell；I
shallseeyouonSunday。\"
Iwassoonsettledinmynewhouse，andIwentouttocallonM。
Zuccato，theVenetianambassador。IgavehimM。Morosini’sletter，andhesaid，coldly，thathewasgladtomakemyacquaintance。WhenIaskedhimtopresentmeatCourttheinsolentfoolonlyrepliedwithasmile，whichmightfairlybedescribedascontemptuous。Itwasthearistocraticpridecomingout，soIreturnedhissmilewithacoldbow，andneversetfootinhishouseagain。
OnleavingZuccatoIcalledonLordEgremont，andfindinghimillleftmyletterwiththeporter。Hediedafewdaysafter，soM。
Morosini’sletterswerebothuselessthroughnofaultofhis。Weshalllearnpresentlywhatwastheresultofthelittlenote。
IthenwenttotheComtedeGuerchi，theFrenchambassador，withaletterfromtheMarquisChauvelin，andIreceivedawarmwelcome。
Thisnoblemanaskedmetodinewithhimthefollowingday，andtoldmethatifIlikedhewouldpresentmeatCourtafterchapelonSunday。Itwasatthatambassador’stablethatImadetheacquaintanceoftheChevalierd’Eon，thesecretaryoftheembassy，whoafterwardsbecamefamous。ThisChevalierd’Eonwasahandsomewomanwhohadbeenanadvocateandacaptainofdragoonsbeforeenteringthediplomaticservice；sheservedLouisXV。asavaliantsoldierandadiplomatistofconsummateskill。InspiteofhermanlywaysIsoonrecognizedherasawoman；hervoicewasnotthatofacastrato，andhershapewastooroundedtobeaman’s。Isaynothingoftheabsenceofhaironherface，asthatmightbeanaccident。
InthefirstdaysofmystayinLondonImadetheacquaintanceofmybankers；whoheldatleastthreehundredthousandfrancsofmymoney。
Theyallhonouredmydraftsandofferedtheirservicestome，butI
didnotmakeuseoftheirgoodoffices。
IvisitedthetheatresofCoventGardenandDruryLane，butIcouldnotextractmuchenjoymentoutoftheperfomancesasIdidnotknowawordofEnglish。Idinedatallthetaverns，highandlow，togetsomeinsightintothepeculiarmannersoftheEnglish。InthemorningIwenton’Change，whereImadesomefriends。ItwastherethatamerchanttowhomIspokegotmeaNegroservantwhospokeEnglish，French，andItalianwithequalfacility；andthesameindividualprocuredmeacookwhospokeFrench。Ialsovisitedthebagnioswherearichmancansup，bathe，andsleepwithafashionablecourtezan，ofwhichspeciestherearemanyinLondon。Itmakesamagnificentdebauchandonlycostssixguineas。Theexpensemaybereducedtoahundredfrancs，buteconomyinpleasureisnottomytaste。
OnSundayImadeaneleganttoiletteandwenttoCourtabouteleven，andmettheComtedeGuerchiaswehadarranged。HeintroducedmetoGeorgeIII。，whospoketome，butinsuchalowvoicethatIcouldnotunderstandhimandhadtoreplybyabow。Thequeenmadeupfortheking，however，andIwasdelightedtoobservethattheproudambassadorfrommybelovedVenicewasalsopresent。WhenM。deGuerchiintroducedmeunderthenameoftheChevalierdeSeingalt，Zuccatolookedastonished，forMr。MorosinihadcalledmeCasanovainhisletter。ThequeenaskedmefromwhatpartofFranceIcame，andunderstandingfrommyanswerthatIwasfromVenice，shelookedattheVenetianambassador，whobowedasiftosaythathehadnoobjectiontomake。HerMajestythenaskedmeifIknewtheambassadorsextraordinary，whohadbeensenttocongratulatetheking，andIrepliedthatIhadthepleasureofknowingthemintimately，andthatIhadspentthreedaysintheirsocietyatLyons，whereM。MorosinigavemelettersformyLordd’EgremontandM。Zuccato。